Thanks to my friend Avi Liran in Singapore for sending me this, and an even bigger thank-you to his daughter for drawing it. Artist Savyon-Li Liran will be 11 on Feb 26.

While some people celebrate Valentine’s Day, others celebrate the Chinese New Year — the year of the Tiger! (And no doubt, some people celebrate both!)

Both days fall on Feb 14 this year.

According to Chinese tradition and beliefs, the Tiger is vivid, lively, engaging and lucky — and truly courageous.

Like the tiger, to love and to be loved is vivid, lively, engaging and lucky. And also like the tiger, to truly love and be truly loved, one has to be truly courageous.

Happy Valentines Day. Happy Year of the Tiger.

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

Funky jewellery courtesy of Slashpile Designs (www.slashpiledesigns.com)

Dogs may understand marketing far better than we have ever given them credit for. They know, for example, that if they want to establish themselves in a certain territory, they need to leave their scent all over it.

Male dogs generally mark their territory to lay claim to it; female dogs mark their territory to attract a male, (although dominant females may want to lay claim too.)

Either way, it’s marketing 101.

No one will ever buy from you if they have never heard of you.

In the dog-eat-dog competitive world, this may be the most important lesson.

You can’t build a business by keeping who you are and what you do a secret — no matter how great you are, no matter how much you believe in the laws of attraction, and (even) no matter how compelling your Essential Message.

That’s why the most successful among us are constantly marketing — writing articles, giving speeches, attending networking events, sending newsletters… being ‘out there’.

And like a dog’s scent on a fire hydrant, your customers’ memories can be easily painted over by fresher, more recent and possibly more dominant ones. That’s why you have to constantly remind the people in your target market that you are alive and well and open for business.

So what are you doing to mark — I mean ‘market’ – your territory?

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

Of course, everyone knows that all great sales and marketing focuses on the benefits, right? And the higher level the benefit is, the better.

There’s only one problem with that: it’s wrong.

Telling your prospects you’ll help them — insert any high level benefit, like ‘make more money’, ‘increase productivity’, or ‘be a hero in your company’ — is usually as impactful, credible and differentiating as a politician saying he or she supports world peace.

Think about it; doesn’t everyone say that?

Yes, you have to understand how your product or service will lead to great benefits, both rational and emotional, but focusing on those benefits is usually not effective to get people interested in the first place.

For a limited time, you can get this eWorkbook absolutely FREE!! Learn the fundamental principles that the entire Essential Message approach is based on. If you truly want to discover your Essential Message, start by clicking on the image above!

In order to really engage people in conversation about what you do, forget features and benefits. Instead, pay attention to what really engages people in conversation about what you do.

If that sounds simplistic, consider that benefits are all about theory. Using the Essential Message approach, I encourage the people and businesses I work with to use prospects’ reactions and responses to uncover Impact Statements, Persuasion Drivers and Provocative Questions.

Traditional benefits may have been helpful when there were few products and services competing for the same share of wallet. In today’s highly competitive, overcrowded market, Impact Statements are all about what truly works. And, what truly works in getting the other person’s interest may be a seemingly minor detail, a major feature, an advantage, or even, yes, a benefit… but who cares?

Next time you’re talking to a client, prospect or someone at a networking event, throw your usual script in the trash and focus on the person in front of you. What really interests him or her about what you offer? In my experience, what truly interests prospective clients is buried deep down on page 753 of the sales manual as an afterthought. (And in many cases, it’s not there at all!)

Talk. Listen. Ask. Listen. Ask. Listen. Listen. Listen… Then craft your Essential Message around what works!

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

The greatest gift you can either give or receive this year is the Gift of You.

To the members of the Essential Message Bull Pen, corporate clients and the broader Essential Message community who have begun the journey to discover their unique differentiation, I applaud you.

To the Certified Essential Message Consoachants who are creating a worldwide movement where more people and more businesses tap into their authentic differentiation — and use it not just to grow their businesses, but also to help our world evolve into a better place, I honour you.

To everyone everywhere, I wish you peace, love and understanding…

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

Let me explain…

When the idea first popped into my head that I might enjoy training in the martial arts, I was attracted to the usual cast of benefits: increased personal confidence, self-defence and fitness. But once I started training, and as my training progressed, I found myself more and more interested in the precise body movement that the training demands.

In fact, rather than thinking of kata (the specific set of karate moves that make up forms) as the less pleasant — albeit necessary — part of my training, it became the primary reason I went back, and continue to go back, to the dojo.

But when I try to explain the satisfaction and enjoyment I get from something as obscure as ‘precise body movement’ to anyone but the uninitiated, what I usually get is a blank stare.

That underscores one of the most important distinctions you must make when understanding your clients’ motivations:

The reasons people first a product or service are often very different from the reasons they stay with it.

Don’t make the mistake of confusing those different motivations in your sales and marketing. When asking your clients for feedback, help them access the hopes, interests, challenges and skepticisms they had before they started working with you.

This way, you ensure that your messaging is relevant and compelling to attract new clients.

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

What keeps you up at night?

A common sales technique taught in countless workshops and seminars is to ask the question, ‘what’s the biggest challenge you face in your business?’ Or maybe you’ve heard this: ‘What keeps you up at night?’

That may be conventional wisdom, but I can give you three reasons why it’s bad advice.

First, big questions like that send the other person into a ‘brain freeze’. According to Dr. Maurer, author of Kaizen Principle, the brain loves questions: questions are simply excellent ways to engage the brain. No surprise there. (If you’ve taken a good stroll through the Essential Message website, you might be familiar with the article I wrote which is available for reprint, called, ‘The Selling Power of the Provocative Question‘.)

In the book, Dr. Maurer goes on to explain that big questions actually choke any possibility of a thoughtful or creative response. Why? Because big questions shut down the cortex and trigger the fight-or-flight response in the amygdala.

Which brings me to the second reason… even if the person manages to avoid the fight or flight reflex, do you actually believe they trust you enough to divulge their biggest failing or fear? Chances are they don’t, and that’s why a generic question usually gets you a generic response.

The third reason not to ask big, generic questions is that they make you look like a hack — yes a hack, like the next Dr. Phil wannabe asking, ‘how’s that working for you?’

So instead of asking ‘big’ generic questions, start asking little specific questions — questions that tiptoe past the amygdala and allow the cortex to give you something meaningful; questions that allow people to get truly engaged in the conversation!

• What’s your target group? Listen for whether it’s tightly defined or not. If it’s not defined enough, it could result in lower sales. (Yes, ask me why.)
• Is it getting harder or easier for you to stand out among your competitors? If it’s getting harder, the business may be helped by better differentiation and branding. (Yes, ask me how.)
• Do you think little questions can help you get bigger sales? If the response is yes, then you may want to recommend an Essential Message workshop… (grin)

And there are plenty more where those came from…

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

I cannot be who I am not.

What differentiates me,

defines me.

In relation to you.

In this way we are all the same –

in different ways.

Do you know who I am?

Without me, you do not exist.

You cannot be who you are not.

What differentiates you,

defines you.

In relation to me.

In this way we are all the same –

in different ways.

Do you know who you are?

About this piece: I was inspired to write this when I was 30,000 feet in the air on my way to help a corporate client discover their Essential Message. Companies are just like individuals in that each one is unique, with it’s own culture, history, values, strengths and weaknesses. Exploring their strongest position in their market is not unlike discovering the personal purpose of an individual human being.

Congratulations. You’ve just heard a prime example of a category challenge. All accountants, you see, claim to save their money on their taxes. At least, that’s what they’re all supposed to do, right?

The accountant gave you absolutely no reason to send a referral to him or her instead of anyone else. (And to think that the accountant probably practiced an elevator pitch for weeks! It’s a pity, really…)

Marketers — the better ones, anyway — tell you to focus on your market’s challenges. And that’s generally good advice, but unless you can prove you solve the category challenge better than anyone else, a category challenge will do absolutely nothing to persuade your potential customers to buy from you over anyone else. In other words, a category challenge does nothing to differentiate you from the crowd of people who claim to do the same thing that you do.

What challenge do you solve?

A business consultant might claim to help clients get to the proverbial next level. A life coach might claim to solve the challenge of overcoming obstacles. A financial advisor might solve the challenge of managing people’s money. A network security might solve the challenge of keeping out intruders — just like all the other companies in the same space.

It comes down to this. Category challenges are generic. Essential challenges are differentiating. If you understand this distinction, you will understand one of the most powerful concepts behind The Essential Message.

What you do is generic. How you do it is unique.

To discover your Essential Challenge, don’t just look at the challenges your customers have. Instead, look at the challenges that your industry or your competitors create. How you solve those challenges can provide you with some of the best clues to your greatest differentiators.

Want an example?

It’s not too much of a stretch to see that because of hidden fees, confusing statements and the different ways that returns can be calculated, the financial services industry has created an atmosphere of distrust. During a one-day intensive workshop with a financial services company, I learned that transparency was a key part of my client’s values and vision. Once I started digging, I found several examples of how they how they incorporated trust and transparency into their business processes and procedures.

In other words, they were already solving the Essential Challenge — the problem was they didn’t realize they were doing it. For them, it was the only way they knew how to conduct business. As soon as we connected the dots and made transparency the center-piece of their Essential Message, they dramatically improved results, literally overnight. (Read the testimonial here.)

Take this test.

Tell ten people about the challenge your business solves. If the response you get most often is, ‘yeah, you and everyone else’, then you have identified a Category Challenge, not an Essential Challenge. (Note that most people will be too polite to say it this way, but you know it’s what they’re thinking!)

Discovering your Essential Challenge may look simple, but it’s rarely easy. It may require you to dig a little deeper than you’re used to. It may take the trained eye of a certified Essential Message consoachant to help you choose where to dig. But regardless of how you go about it, it’s worth looking for it. Because when you’ll find the Essential Challenge you solve, you’ll also find the challenge that sets you apart.

That’s your authentic competitive advantage.

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

P.S. Discovering your Essential Challenge is just just one of the things you’ll discover in the Essential Message Group Intensive. It’s limited to a small number of participants, so click here to find out more now.

What do people think, when they think of you? What comes to mind, when people hear your name?

If I say the name Mother Theresa, you immediately get a picture of her and what she stands for. You know what made her great at the work she did. When you hear ‘Richard Branson’ – you have a very definite image of him and how he’s different from everyone else.

The same is true of Donald Trump, Oprah, Tony Robbins and just about anyone else who has achieved a standout level of success.

Each and everyone of these people paid their dues to hone their ability; they kept possibility alive through persistence and being prolific; they know what drives them and why; they did whatever they needed to do to make sure their cash didn’t run out before their luck; they were true to themselves rather than try to be all things to all people… and today, you know who they are today NOT because they blend in, but because of what makes them different.

Bet 7: Bet on what makes you different..

What makes you different is what makes you better…in your business, your market, your career, your life.

The same is true of the most successful brands and the organizations behind them:

Honda. Apple. IKEA. BMW, Starbucks. They’re leading brands NOT because they blend in, but because of their singular attention to what makes them different.

What makes you different?

In business and in life, traditional marketers would have us wear different costumes – different masks – to suit our clients, our bosses, our markets, and even our friends and family. Even the term, ‘marketing makeover’, suggests that what we really need is a superficial veneer. And in our attempt to be appeal to the widest possible audience, we end up hiding the person we truly are — we hide what makes us different.

But here’s the truth – people don’t value you for how you are the same as everyone else. They value you for what makes you different. Even the smallest difference, (and many times especially the smallest difference), will command the highest price, the greatest loyalty, the most votes and biggest following from the people who value it.

Discovering, highlighting and betting your success on what makes you different is what leadership is all about — leadership in your business, your market, your career, your life.

More than ever, companies need leadership — the world needs leadership. Whether you’re a financial advisor, consultant, life coach, lawyer, accountant, speaker, author or CEO of a major corporation – what makes you different as a person is what makes you better; better in your business, your market, your career, your life. And if you want to be a leader, that’s where you have to start.

What makes you different is what makes you uniquely you. So when you bet on what makes you different, you bet on yourself. If you’re not prepared to bet on yourself, who will?

Do you know what makes you different? Do you have the courage to find out what makes you different — and are you prepared to bet your success on it?

I hope so, because what makes you different is what makes you better — in your business, your market, your career, your life.

And that is why it’s the best bet you can make.

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message

P.S. If you’re wondering what this has to do with your Essential Message, here’s the answer: your Essential Message is not only one of the bets, it’s also part of the same process that helps you discover the success formula that works for you. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

Traditional marketers are still making bets using old rules that no longer apply.

Before the free flow of goods, services, capital and knowledge (ie. before the Internet and the global economy), the primary goal was to maximize conversion rate by asking the question, ‘How can I change my offer to appeal to the maximum number of people in the room?’

But today the room truly is as big as the world. That’s why the question we ask in The Essential Message is, ‘How can I be so clear and so compelling about what who I am and what I offer, that those people who want it will be attracted to the virtual room?’

That’s why bet #6 turns traditional marketing on it’s head:

Bet on finding customers who
find value in what you offer.

Whatever you have to dish up,
there’s sure to be a market for it somewhere.

In some cultures people think monkey brains is a delicacy. Other people love the taste of chocolate-covered grasshoppers. And still others sit down to feast on donkey penis. It's a safe bet that there's a market for everything.

Contrary to traditional marketing, you see, the target group doesn’t come first — your authentic competitive advantage comes first.

That’s because filling a need is not sustainable unless it leverages a true strength. If it doesn’t leverage a true strength, you’ll end up educating the market to buy from a stronger competitor who is bound to come along sooner or later.

Traditional marketers will have you trying on different masks until you find one people like. In the Essential Message, the name of the game is removing the mask entirely.

You can’t change your authentic competitive advantage — but you can change the target group you offer it to.

You have a unique gift to offer the world. That’s your authentic competitive advantage. And there are people out there, right now, who find value in it — that’s a good bet to make.

Your job is to find them.

Essentially yours,

Michel Neray
Chief Differentiation Officer
The Essential Message