Eternal Recess

Burn The Boats

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Sun, 31 Oct 2021 13:59:00 +0000

"If you want to take the island, burn your boats."

The stories of 'boat burning' or scuttling ships go back to 334 BC, Alexander the Great led a fleet of Greek and Macedonian ships across the Dardanelles Straits and into Asia Minor. When he reached the shore, Alexander ordered his men to burn the ships. He told his men, “We will either return home in Persian ships or we will die here." Centuries later upon the arrival to the Aztec Empire Hernán Cortés destroyed his ships. This sent a clear message to his men: There was no turning back. They would win or they would die. Within two years, Cortés and his men had conquered the Aztec Empire.

The quickest way to succeed is to remove the option to fail. This is certainly not the most pleasant, but it is extremely effective. Human nature craves comfort and safety, it's how we evolved to stay alive amidst assort threats and elements. Yet, we become addicted to that security, we fear letting go of the edge of the pool and kicking off into the deep despite how badly we want the freedom of swimming. We create suffering by looking longingly into the open waters and imagining not only how wonderful it would be to let go, but resenting the edge of the pool we cling to. Torn between comfort and desire, we are often paralyzed yet unsatisfied. We wonder and worry once we let go that perhaps, we won't be able to find our way back to our comfort. Where can we rest once we are surrounded by nothing? What if we find ourselves alone and adrift? What if there are sharks? What if no one else we know decides to join us? It's a nonstop narrative and the reality is we know what we'll get if we stay where we are, even if we don't like it. We choose stagnation and mediocrity over uncertainty and growth because we forget that living is a process and not a destination. We forget that the very marrow of life is in the cycle of effort, pain and triumph.

Exactly a year ago yesterday, I arrived in Washington with Adam and we got the keys to our new home. We drank champagne and slid down the stairs and slept on air mattresses in this giant, strangely painted house. We finally made it to the PNW after a decade of talking about it. That move was a massive shift. Much like how an earthquake causes aftershocks that continue to jostle and shake things from the shelves, that action caused more and more and more actions. It was as though I couldn't stop turning things in my life over and asking myself if I was really, truly, fully happy. And if not, why not and what was I doing about it. It's easier to leave situations if you are not happy, but if you're okay but not fully happy it can seem selfish, troublesome, indulgent. Again, life is a learning process, so when I feel that stagnation and lack of growth that's a sign. It is never easy to let go of the ledge, to step into the unknown, to go look at your security and comfort and say, "Thank you for all that you are and all that you have given me", and push off regardless into the deep.

Mark Twain said, "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Yesterday I bought a house. Just for myself. I haven't had my own house in a long time and I am absolutely amazed that my offer was accepted so rapidly. I am also not surprised because when you are going the right way in life, everything lines up beautifully for you. The house here sold quickly, the house there appeared quickly, the drive was easy. When you are in the right space there is no efforting and it feels absolutely incredible. Now, to the boat burning aspect... I work in Washington. I am moving to Oregon. I have a very high paying job (in addition to still owning our business in CA, selling my art, working with a friend's business, and my crypto work). I am not passionate about corporate life and it slowly eats at me daily. I am unfocused and lack passion, but it is a very sturdy safety net. Instead of earning more, I am shifting my budget to need less. My new home is new but it puts my mortgage in range where I can support that without my corporate job. It would be tight if I quit, but that puts the incentive on making my next steps joyful and profitable. I would love to have the time to focus on the things that move me and that I am good at. I would like to focus on my art, writing, yoga, trading. I would like to learn to accept help from friends. I would like to learn who I want to become without anything boxing me in. I drove home yesterday laughing and crying. I like to say I am not a crier, but maybe it turns out I am. Maybe I can be more emotional and not hold my shit together. Maybe I laugh a little louder, dance a little more and kick off harder into even deeper waters.

Thank you for being here with me.

Something to Work Towards

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 22:14:00 +0000

"All things are difficult before they are easy." ~ Thomas Fuller

This weekend was a good lesson that what I lack in skill, speed and fitness I more than make up for in effort and attitude.

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2/17/2010

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:37:00 +0000

O'dark thirty I wake up to Adam telling me the alarm's going to go off in minutes. I usually wake up before it hits, due to our sweet little alarm/light/waker-upper-jobber but not today. Snoozefest, interupted. Lots of bitching ensues: grumble, pout, moan, it's cold, it's dark, wah, wah, wah *footstomp*. Regardless, I got dressed in my cold swimsuit and back in my sweats and headed out in the pre-dawn darkness to the pool.

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Week #16 - Ocean Swimming

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 00:24:00 +0000

Finally I got back in the ocean again! I have avoided open water swimming since *cough* last September. I have a bit of a childish and gigantic sized fear of the ocean, things in the ocean and dying in the ocean. It's just...so big. With the help of one of my training buddies who's an ocean lover (nut), I swam a whole mile!

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Surf City!

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 21:45:00 +0000

What fun! We did the whole thing!

Thierry (on the left) completed the full marathon (26.2mi) in fantastic time! Brad and I completed the longest run we've done - the half marathon (13.1mi). Everything went smoothly, we had a ton of fun, we chatted the whole way, and I'm feeling okay today.

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Surf City 1/2 Marathon!

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 00:07:00 +0000

Let's just start by saying that I'm not a runner. Sure, I run, but I've got a handful of odd injuries and sore spots that keep me from running as much or as fast as I'd like. Oh, and a handful of extra pounds that slow me down as well. I didn't let that stop me from signing up for the Surf City Half in November. Yet, a crazy foot injury took me out of training for 3 weeks in December. Fortunately, my foot is 100% better, but my running program got thrown for an irrecoverable loop.

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122 Day's Out

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 21:52:00 +0000

Welcome to OCD Land!

I don't start officially training with my online coach Rachel Casanta with Hypercat Racing until February 14th. She promised me that I would be ready for Alcatraz. Does she know I'm terrified of the ocean? That I am a slowpoke on my bike? That I run like a penguin? Really?! I'm aiming for survival, but she says I will finish, and finish well!.................

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Week 1/18

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 22:25:00 +0000

A quick post and a few photos!

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Let the Fun Begin! Triathlon 2011!

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 19:23:00 +0000

"If you are going to doubt something, doubt your limits" - Don Ward

This years training has begun! The first of many weeks of biking, running, swimming, stretching, icing, yoga-ing, and endless piles of laundry is here. I'm really excited to announce that Adam is training with me this year! After calling me crazy all last year during training, something clicked when he saw me race...he could do that! We already share a quite active lifestyle, and we have been swimming and running together for months now. The teamwork and motivation of having both of us doing it is fantastic.
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Triathlon - DONE!

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 23:14:00 +0000

After months of training, a few investments, endless hours of biking, running, swimming and half-fearing / half-looking forward to it... my race is finished! It was one of the best experiences of my life. I will be doing more next year. It was as hard as I wanted it to be.
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Countdown to Tri

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 22:54:00 +0000

Well, there's not much left that I can do to prepare for my first triathlon this Sunday! I watched a video of the 2000 race that the OC Tri Series promoters sent out and I felt excited, intimidated and anxious as all hell. Doing anything for the first time is nerve-wracking. I don't know where to go, am not sure what I will and won't need in my transition area, and am afraid I'll be the last athlete straggling in. I'm worried I'll fall off my bike whilst unclipping (I'm new to those kind of pedals) and will take out other racers in the process. I'm worried I will falter on the run, up the hills, and that it will be windy. All in all, none of it matters and it's going to be a good time :)

I'm looking forward to celebrating a little after the race and then heading to Portland for a quick trip! It will be the first time Adam and I have gone away in a year and a half! Well, if you don't include camping or hiking... It's going to be a wonderful trip and it will be nice to spend some quality time together without my energy wrapped around The Triathlon.

Hopefully I do okay on Sunday! Until then...

18 days till theTRIATHALON!

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 21:42:00 +0000

What a journey! 18 more days of training, anticipating and wavering between fiery courage and quivering fear. I signed up for the Pacific Coast Tri on May 4th. I was full of the ambition and excitement that comes with taking on a new challenge. How has the training gone? Like everything in life, it varies day to day. It takes a lot of training to build up strength in three different sports, make sufficient time for mandatory stretching, strength train (also mandatory, I learned), eat enough and sleep enough. Not to mention, have a life, a relationship and a full-time job.
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Awareness & Encouragement

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:07:00 +0000

Not my paint drawing, sadly (I only added the iPod)

When I first read that most races (running, triathlon, etc...) don't allow iPods, I balked. How in the heck can you race that long without the motivation that music gives you?! I've long considered my iPod to be an essential workout partner for every activity. It keeps me focused, motivated, and on the move. There's another thing that an iPod lends to a workout - the illusion of privacy and superpower of avoiding communication with others. This works beautifully at the gym to deter any unwarranted sleazy contact with the large grunting apes in the weight room, and it blocks the sound of the girl on the treadmill in front of you screeching loudly about the last night out. My music had become such a part of my workout, that as I moved outside, I never thought about trying to go without it until I signed up for the triathlon. Begrudgingly, I left my music at home and buckled down for a silent, grueling run.

Imagine my surprise at the pure joy I felt being iPod-free. I hear things I'd never hear, I smile and say hi to everyone, even those in their invisi-bubble iPod worlds, I can hear my thoughts, I can hear my breathing (and pace better accordingly), and I can hear others coming up behind me so that I do not cause an accident. It's changed the experience of outside training entirely. I am aware. Sometimes, listening pays off. I am still relatively new to my fancy road bike and I feel a bit new on it. Despite all the high-end gear, a part of me still feels like I'm not really a cyclist (even though I've been riding for a few years now). Spandex clad guys in matchy jerseys zoom past me on a regular basis, sometimes people wave and sometimes people don't. The other day as I peddled into the afternoon wind, a guy rode by me and as he passed he called out, "Lookin' good there! Keep it up!" It was a simple expression of pure encouragement, camaraderie and just plain kindness. If I'd had my earbuds screwed into my head, I wouldn't have heard him come up behind me and I certainly wouldn't have heard his rallying cry.

It made me think a bit about how minding our own business has become almost a compulsion in today's busy world. We consider keeping to ourselves, averting our eyes and not making contact to almost be good manners. It's a rather lonely world that way. Who knows if other people have ever called out words of encouragement to me, that I've blocked out with my iPod?! From now on, I'm going to be ready to receive everything I can hear and I'm going to be dishing it back. Everyone likes support. Everyone likes to be cheered. Everyone could use a little spontaneous interaction!

Week Whatever: Sharks and a Cold

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 22:48:00 +0000

I'm getting back on the training wagon this week after a full week (ack!) off due to a nasty summer cold. I'm definitely getting nervous about the triathlon looming on the horizon. It will be here before I know it. The water is getting cooler and there have been sightings of great white sharks in local waters. Perhaps next year I will pick inland triathlons (i.e. lake swims). The ocean is overwhelming to me. I'm facing my fear(s) of the ocean. I've learned to swim. I enjoy swimming! I do not, however, enjoy the ocean. I feel like I've spent years trying with surfing and now with swimming, but it's just not a comfortable place for me.

I'm looking forward to getting out on the trails today and running. To getting back in the pool tomorrow and finishing the day up with a long ride. I'm learning the importance of focus in training. My focus needs to be on completion, not competition. It's easy to get swept up in the excitement and momentum of things, and forget that I'm here to have fun. I'm training to have fun, I'm racing for fun.

2nd Review of VFF Classics (Vibram Five Fingers)

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 22:07:00 +0000

Over 2 months ago, I slipped on my first pair of Vibram Five Fingers (VFF) Classics and took a jog, not knowing what to expect. A lot of people scoffed, the same as I did when I first saw them in the stores. How could they not lead to further injury, pain, back/hip/knee/ankle/foot damage? Uneducated on the topic, I stuck with what I knew and dismissed them as a dangerous trend. You can only imagine my surprise when the first thing my trainer told me to do in order to assure myself of an injury free triathlon training program was to toss my running shoes and get into a pair of VFFs.
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Week #13?

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:42:00 +0000

Crystal Cove swim course (not my photo)

I think I'm at the start of the 13th week, but really, does it even matter? The last two weeks were full of endless workdays, lots of workouts, an open water swim clinic, a few good books, an expensive new toy and the kindness of strangers (and some delicious homemade pasta).

Tri La Vie's swim clinic is absolutely wonderful - the level of coaching, fun and concern for participants was phenomenal. Martha, David and the rest of the staff created a safe environment for our group, most of whom were intimidated about open water. I surprised myself by swimming the 1/2 mile race course at Crystal Cove at the end of the clinic, although I did stop to rest on a surfboard once to catch my breath. A half mile is a long way to swim while trying to cram the panic down deep inside. The clinic requires a swimming wetsuit rental and while I thought I could forgo a wetsuit for the triathlon, I learned the necessity of wearing one. They float! They keep you warm! They make you feel a whole heck of a lot safer! They are embarrassing as hell to put on!

The first simply amazing act of kindness occured at work. A vendor that I work with bought me a gift certificate for a wetsuit! The son of the owner of the company and the co-owner are both doing the same triathlon as I am and they thought it would be nice to show their support by "sponsoring" my wetsuit. How nice is that?! Getting into this sport is a bit pricey (cheaper than skydiving by a mile), and every little bit helps. I can't think of a better gift than something that encourages me to be active (and take on my ever present fear of the ocean). Thank you, guys, I can't say it enough.

Second act of kindness occurred at my first swim with an open water meet-up group at CDM. I swam out like a champ to do the 1/2 mile loop at CDM, only to find myself exhausted half way through. The water was choppy, my wetsuit was too large (I've since exchanged it) and I was beat. A member of the group, and a total stranger, took me under his supervision and swam the rest of the loop with me and swam me back into shore. Humanity, kindness and generosity never cease to incite joy in me!

After years of riding my faithful silver steed, my Trek 7.3 FX commuter hybrid, I've upped my game in the bicycle world. I'm now the extremely proud owner of a super-effing-sick carbon fiber Trek Madone 4.5 WSD road bike. She's feather light and wicked fast. I could ride that bike forever.

Books: Finished Born to Run, and loved it. A story, anthropology, history, culture, theory, inspiration, revolutionary nutrition and exercise concepts and pure poetry on why we run (bike, swim, exercise, etc)... I'm also reading Thrive, ultra-marathoner and professional Ironman triathlete Brendan Brazier's book on nutrition. Whoa. Who knew that nutrition could be such an eye-opening read? He's a vegan endurance athlete. Roll your eyes all you want, but anyone who can finish a 50-mile+ foot race, professionally race Ironmans (they end in a full marathon) and is training/recovering at a swift rate is worth listening to over your pudgy golfing general practitioner, your neighbor or your happy hour buddies (purely examples). He's got a lot of very interesting concepts and theories about food, energy, recovery and how we think about fueling our bodies. A must-read, regardless of your dietary preference.

Week 11

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:10:00 +0000

I'm usually indifferent of the weather as there is nothing I can do to change it and I try not to be one of those whiners who takes every fluctuation in the thermometer as a personal insult. Yes, I am also in Southern California and spoiled completely rotten by balmy weather most of the year. This week, it is not balmy. It's hot. Africa hot. Yesterday my schedule had me set up to do an outside full-sun, hill sprint + bootcamp. Yow! That's hot.

I will take a cold, drizzly, overcast, freezing wind workout over this blistering hot, windless, bullshit summer weather. I lived for summer when I was a kid. My sister and I would ditch school and lay out in the backyard soaking up every single ray of sunshine available. Our skin would darken until people refused to believe we are of Irish-German-Scottish descent. As the years have gone by, so has my fervent love of the sun. First of all, I don't get a "summer break". That sours the mood a bit! The heat is sapping. Sweat-inducing. Lazy-making. Smothering. I become a crotchety, bitchy, short-tempered anti-iguana. All while training for this triathlon.

/End Bitch Session/

I'm still training though, and I'm still having fun! The worse the heat gets, I keep in my mind two voices of motivation. The first is positive and encouraging, full of the rallying support that floods me from friends and family. The other voice is the one full of the nonsense I've told myself or others have told me in 29 years about how I can't do it, I can't swim, I'm not athletic, and I'm not thin enough. I'm not one to usually promote negative inspiration, but when I'm beat, nothing gets me going like proving that voice wrong! Bullshit! Sweat! Fun.

Week 9-10

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:39:00 +0000

7/7/2010 - Full day - Swim (X) Bike (X) Run ( X )

Back to training this week after a brutal weekend! The weekend started off right with an intense training session Saturday morning but went right downhill as I proceeded to drink myself into a stupor Saturday night. While I used to be a bit of a boozer, those days are over. Unfortunately, my brain and my body haven't had this conversation and I still think I can put drinks down like nobody's business. Uh...um...hello? I'm not 22 anymore. Needless to say there was much lethargy, junk food and very little exercise on Sunday. Monday I roused myself for a quick swim and an early bedtime.

Note to Self: Please, please, please don't drink that much. Face it, you just can't hang!

The rest of week 10 (this week) has been a success. I've doubled up my swimming and biking every day. Yesterday I tossed in a 20 minute trail run and it felt GOOD. I am fully in love with my Vibram Classics and highly recommend them. Knee pain? Foot pain? Ankle weakness? Hip soreness? From running? Not anymore! I laugh every time a runner with $150 shoes on and knee braces hobbles past me sneering at my ninja shoes. Sneer away! I'm pain-free sucker!

I'll be rounding out this weekend with a nice camping trip and hopefully summiting San Jacinto on Saturday. I feel strong, healthy, and unstoppable. We'll see what the Marion Mountain trail has to say about that. :)

End of Week 7? 8?

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 15:37:00 +0000

I finally got myself to swim in the ocean! Friday after work, I donned my swim suit, swim cap and goggles and dragged Adam into the water with me at Corona Del Mar. From the shore, the buoys don't look that far from land, nor from each other. That changes rapidly once you're in the water.

I didn't expect to be able to see under water, even with my goggles. I think I'd rather have no visibility, than to see fish swimming about and long tendrils of kelp snaking their way from the ocean floor. My main goal was to just get in the water and get away from shore. I had no real distance in mind. Adam seemed to be having a hard time adjusting to the water temperature and was a bit behind. He grew up ocean swimming and diving, but it's been a decade or so since he was last really active in the water.

Ocean swimming is okay. Mid-way out I found myself laughing and admitting that I was still really scared. There are so many boats and people at CDM State Beach, that it's highly unlikely that anything is going to be cruising around underwater. Fear, however, persists. I could feel the option to panic waiting inside of me, but I just kept breathing, swimming and acclimating to this unfamiliar territory.

Interesting that I could surf for hours and paddle from jetty to jetty to jetty without any fear at all, but the minute you take my floaty surfboard away, I'm hobbled with fear. I am a bit apprehensive as to how I'll ever swim the whole way, but I have a clinic in a few weeks that will help.

Triathalon Training - End of Week #5

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 22:22:00 +0000

End of Week 5! How do I feel? Exceptionally good. Last Saturday I experienced torture-by-tractor-tire with my trainer. Tractor tires are heavy, dirty and excellent tools for fitness. Flipping them requires your whole body, as opposed to hours of in-the-gym workouts steadily working out one body part at a time. I know we're coming up to a good exercise when my trainer cheerily says, "This is usually what get people puking!". Fortunately, I kept my breakfast where it belongs, but whoa - this is one serious workout! I'm sure that as the temperatures soar, puking will find it's way into my workouts.

I followed up Saturday's torturous workout with a long hike Sunday. Due to my inability to accurately follow directions, we missed the turn off for our easy, relatively flat hike and climb, climb, climbed for hours up a moderately strenuous hike. Oops. My legs hurt for a good three days. While I enjoyed the hike, it wasn't the best move. My muscles need to rest. I need to pay more attention to my body before I get hurt.

This week's swimming has gone (waaaaiit for it...) swimmingly. Maybe I won't drown! Holy heck! I'm still not in the ocean yet. I want to get a wee bit more comfortable with swimming a continuous 500 yards. I did sign up for the swim clinic in July.

I found myself overjoyed to learn that an acquaintance through work is doing the same triathlon! It's his second year of triathlons and he loves it. We spent the good part of a day emailing back and forth about training, experiences and gear. I found myself bursting with excitement at this new adventure. While I am a lone wolf by nature, having a sense of solidarity with others is a vital source of strength and inspiration. I am fortunate to have an incredible group of people that are encouraging me in this journey.

Ninja Shoes!

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 18:15:00 +0000

Ahhhh Vibram Five Fingers shoes and the taste of my own words. When these shoes came out I, along with most other rational beings, laughed, scoffed and blew them off. Heck, I even discouraged a girlfriend (hi Melita!) from buying them. How could they be good for your feet?! How many problems would increase? Running is already a painful sport - how could these possibly make it better?!
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Beginning Week #3

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Tue, 25 May 2010 17:22:00 +0000

Who says I can't swim?!

So far, so good! Now that I'm immersed in triathlon-land, I wish I'd started this earlier so that I could do more triathlons this season. Typical of me to want to bite off more than I can chew. A sprint tri is honestly the best start for me, especially as I am developing my swimming skill. Swimming is making more sense these days, and I am emphasizing my glide, learning to breathe correctly and feeling stronger in the water. I still can't figure out how do to those little under water flip turns at the end of a lap. I do a forward flip and get water up my nose. Sweet.

My trainer (B.) kicked my ass thoroughly on Saturday. I had the wise idea to ride to CDM, train, and ride home. I survived, barely. There's no comparison for a trainer. New ideas, new philosophy, new ferocity. No weights. No gym. No running shoes. No breaks. No excuses.

I stripped my bike of the pannier rack and am pricing out clip-less pedals and shoes. It looks leaner and lighter already! Silly, yet every ounce less my fat ass has to pedal, the easier it will be. Speaking of fat-asses...I bought a tri suit on sale this weekend at REI. I make it a point to avoid negative self-talk but whoa I do not look my cutest in a grippy, clingy, spandexy tri suit that squeezes my thighs like a half-empty tube of toothpaste. Needless to say, I'm very much looking forward to losing some weight and to seeing a slimmer, stronger, healthier version of myself come September.

Lastly, I got bike shorts. Padded, spandex, mid-thigh bike shorts. My nether regions are now looking forward to longer rides, instead of fearing them. That's all I'm saying.

Things I still need:
- clip on aero bars ($80-$100)
- clip-less pedals ($30-$50)
- bike shoes ($80-$100)
- sockless tri running shoes ($100)
- body glide whooohoooo! ($10)
- race number belt ($10)
- second bottle & mount for bike ($10)
- flat tire kit for bike ($30)

Training I want to do:
- bike maintenance seminar (I, uh, um, don't know how to change a flat) (free)
- open water swim training in June ($65)

I figure the pedals and shoes are a good investment, I can take them with me to my next bike. I'm not ready to shell out that kind of money for a bike yet, but one day, I will. All in all, it's not that much money, right? Better than spending my money on a lot of other things detrimental to my health.

Training Week: 2

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Thu, 20 May 2010 21:04:00 +0000

Bike. Swim. Run. Stretch. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

I'm settling into a nice training rhythm and tapping into my network of active friends to assist with training and advice! My swimming needs help. I contacted a friend from high school who coaches swimming and asked for assistance. I feel embarrassed of my lack of swimming finesse, but the only way I will improve is by accepting where I'm at and asking for help. Funny how that lesson runs through my life in various areas. Cycling is natural for me, although I am looking at modifying my existing bike to increase performance and speed. I don't want to spend too much on upgrades when I will eventually buy a road or tri-specific bike, but I do feel that a few modifications will go a long way.

In my process of asking resourceful friends for help, I called upon one of my oldest friends who is a progressive personal trainer and currently getting his degree in Kinesiology. Through our conversations about training my body for this triathlon naturally, holistically, and injury free he has convinced me try barefoot running. My knees have been plagued by injuries after ten years of full contact martial arts. The skydiving and hiking that followed those years have compounded the pain and damage. After hiking for years with minor foot issues (hot spots, blisters, small aching) my feet are now miserable in any hiking boot or hiking shoe. My body is confused, angry and in pain despite increased spending on higher technology equipment. In response to these failed attempts, I'm giving nature a shot.

When running barefoot, there is no heel-strike. Here is an excellent video showing the light, springy landing of barefoot running as opposed to running with shoes on. The human body was designed to use our feet as our support system. Strong, healthy, flexible feet are vital to strong, healthy, flexible ankles, legs, hips, back, and our entire body. I'll let you know how it goes. For those of you interested on the topic check out : http://www.barefootrunner.com .

I am planning on my first open water swim on June 5th. I have to pick a day so I don't avoid or prolong it. No expectations, except getting in the water. The more you subject yourself to something you are afraid of, the less fear is generated around it. There's so many lessons hitting home during this training, I keep surprising myself with where else I can apply the logic. Fear. Change. Commitment. Belief in myself. Asking for help. Humility. Being kind to myself. Patience. Hard work. Studies show the more you use a muscle or perform a new habit, the stronger it gets. My hope is that as my training parallels my life I will source the courage to make sweeping changes in my professional life as well.

"Fear tells us what we have to do...

The more scared we are of a work or calling,

the more sure we can be that we have to do it."

(My sister left this quote on my desk the other day, thanks buddy!)

Triathalon #1

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Tue, 04 May 2010 23:23:00 +0000

This blog has become the Everything Else section and I'm quite alright with it that way. Welcome to my newest endeavor, a triathalon! I haven't completely lost my mind, I'm only doing 'sprint' distance of .5 mi swim, 15 mi ride and a 3 mi run. My weakest sport is swimming. Swimming in the ocean, double whammy. Swimming in the ocean, surrounded by hundreds of swimmers? Yikes. Swimming in the ocean with hundreds of swimmers and sharks/monsters/deadly seaweed/etc...? I'm scared!

I've never been a strong swimmer, despite the swimming lessons we had as children. The water has terrified me as long as I remember. The ocean, in all of it's sheer power, is a force not to be reckoned with. Years ago, I felt the urge to surf. I bought all the right stuff and dove right in with the help of a friend. While I loved surfing, the workout, the peace, the bliss and the saltwater, the fear of the ocean eventually drove me back onto dry land. Every time I'd eat it on a wave and get tossed around I'd panic. My mind reverted to being very small, very powerless and riddled with fear. I'd come to the surface spewing water and near tears.

It's easy to say that I'm just not good at something and to give up. I'm no longer satisfied with that. Millions of people swim, surely, I can too. I began swimming in the mornings with a girl friend who has it down a bit. I'm still sputtering and flailing, but I'm finding a rhythmic and meditative joy in the pool. Swimming is hard work physically, and I'm enjoying the balanced and non-impacting workout I'm receiving. I haven't died yet in the pool, and I'm going to make damn sure I make it through the swim portion in the triathalon. Not only that, but I'm going to have to do training swims in the ocean.

I'm continuing to face my fears, re-write my personal story without limits as opposed to believing the limits that have been placed upon me, and glean as much experience as I can from each day of life.

Gear Army Review - Prana's Lolita Pant

noreply@blogger.com (Rose) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 16:36:00 +0000

Prana’s Lolita pant lives up to its advertising: sleek, streamlined and flattering. While I often balk at the price of high-end active wear, Prana proves time and time again that their products are worth every penny.

Every time I wear these pants I’m in love with the waistband. There’s nothing worse than having your workout pants grip your waist too tight, resulting in an unflattering muffin top (no matter how svelte you are) or having your pants slip down because the waist is too lenient. The Lolita waistband is double stitched and wide, so it securely wraps around your waist, both instantly giving you confidence that your pants will stay on throughout the hardest poses of that advanced Vinyasa class and will keep you looking lithe.

The Lolita pant is close fitting with flat seams and a respectable rise. The flat seams ensure that my stems are chafe-free walking, bicycling and in yoga class. These pants would also be perfect for rock-climbing as the smooth fabric resists bunching under a harness. Although the trend is lower rise pants, I find the Lolita’s rise perfect. Neither too low nor too matronly, the pants fit and conform to the shape of your body, not a particular body type. They are exceedingly long, but they tailor up beautifully after a quick go with the sewing machine.

The Lolita pant is crafted from Prana’s eco-friendly Chakara performance fabric which means that it is both easy on the planet and good on your skin! Over 90% recycled poly and 10% spandex result in a breathable, quick-drying and stretchy fabric. Although I was a touch intimidated by the $75.00 price tag, you get what you pay for with these pants. I now wait for the day after laundry day so I can wear my Lolitas again!

P.S.: These are on sale NOW for about $53!

*Disclaimer: The manufacturer sent these to me through Outside Magazine for free to review. My review is based on performance only.