Ahem. Anyway, since I’m eagerly awaiting a few hundred dollars of tax refund to be deposited into my bank account, I thought I’d write about money. Money is awesome, am I right? I like to hoard it, and have two bank account for this very purpose:

1. Primary bank account
   This is where all my money from work is deposited, and where I withdraw funds from when I need them. I don’t keep much money here, instead transferring it often into my second account. Whereas some people get pleasure from spending, I feel guilty for doing so, and prefer watching all the pretty numbers rise!
2. Savings account
   Basically, a “high” (currently 4.90% p.a.) interest savings account where I keep most of my money, and never touch. A lot of people have a coffee habit and/or a shopping habit. As for me, I don’t drink coffee, and I avoid shopping trips at all costs. This is (partly) why I have $14,000 in here, which I’m certain is more than most students my age have, but of course in grand scheme of things, it’s nothing at all. That said, I’m quite satisfied with the hundreds of dollars of interest I earn on it yearly! I don’t really know how much Stuff costs, but I think I have nearly enough money for some sort of car? Not that I need one at the moment, but when I do…I’ll be all up in that.

Also! If I somehow manage to stay employed¹, I think I can double that balance over the next year. I’ve really hit stride recently, in that I’m getting a lot of hours, and my wage has also increased due to an increase in the national minimum wage. Also, since I’m classified as a “Level 3″ employee², I’m actually ever-so-slightly above minimum wage for my age (which only equates to a few extra dollars per week, but it’s still nice to have!)

Check back next month for another instalment of “Adam Tells the Internet Stuff He Should Probably Not Tell the Internet”.

1. Working at a video store = very low job security. It’s hard to feel settled when all the other rental stores around you are closing down. I’m expecting to be out of a job in the foreseeable future. Obviously I have a second job, but only a minority of my earnings come from there.
2. Which means I can open (i.e., am entrusted with the security alarm code and safe combination), close (i.e., do the figures at the end of the day and lock up), and work solo.

Here, have some fun statistics. The comments’ members’ stats doesn’t exactly work when multiple people have the same name, though. There are a couple of instances of that.

Oh, and yes, your favourite self-loathing narcissist will be returning with more of the same for another year.

You see, I want to become “smart” again. When I was younger, I was, pretty much, smarter than everyone else my age, and achieved more academically, without having to do any work. And because of it, I frequently got special privileges, and got to participate in special programs. These days? It seems that everyone has “caught up”, and I’m no longer better than everyone else. It annoys me that it’s possible for other people to beat me in assignments, exams, etc., even when I put in effort, as there’s nothing I can do about it. I hate being second rate. I probably sound like a spoiled brat here, and I’m not going to deny that I am one..!

But. I would like to rise up and regain my status of “super smart”. I don’t know whether this is achievable (I suspect it’s not), or how it is achievable, but as part of my “master plan”, I would like to increase my general knowledge. Certainly, I can hold my own in a game of Trivial Pursuit, but screw that; for me, it’s all about winning. I want to own. For sure, I have areas that I can definitely improve in. History, for instance. Most of my current knowledge about history comes from the Horrible Histories series of books for children, which I used to read. This is fine, but I don’t know whether those are wholly historically accurate, and also I want to read something aimed more at an adult audience. Oh, and something that looks at the history of science and technology should be interesting, rather than the usual people-and-events focus.

Also, I’m not averse to using documentaries to improve my knowledge. In fact, I quite like them (related posts: Dinosaurs, Koyaanisqatsi).

So I plan to go forth and learn. Or, be overwhelmed and give up immediately.

Of course, it means I’m overwhelmed with all the webcomic updates, LiveJournal entries, and blog posts I’m now supposed to catch up with, but it’s nice not to have to worry about what people are posting, for a couple of days. Also, it means I had more time to do other things, like read.

A real test of my ability, though, would to remove more than just one form of technology.

I also re-watched Toy Story and Toy Story 2 in preparation, and you know what? I lied when I said Up was the best thing Pixar has done so far. It’s been quite a few years since I’d seen any of the Toy Story franchise, and I’d forgotten how good it is. By the the third instalment, I’d grown so attached to these characters, and the ending was a bit emotional. I was definitely more attached to Woody and the gang than I ever was to my own toys, I don’t know why.

So! Now that I’ve seen it, this means that Cars is once again the only Pixar movie I haven’t seen. I don’t know, it just seems a bit kiddy, and I wasn’t much of a fan of Finding Nemo for that reason. But a sequel is going to be released next year, so ugh. Someone tell me if it’s worth watching, or something!

That right there? That’s a packet of BeanBoozled jelly beans. When a co-worker brought them into work, I thought they seemed very cool. Not as cool as Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans would be, of course (although Wikipedia tells me that Jelly Belly have their own product with the same name), but they work like this:

• Purple can be plum or black pepper
• Green can be juicy pear or booger
• Yellow can be popcorn or mouldy cheese
• Orange can be peach or vomit

Et cetera. Sounds pretty fun, right? Well, I thought so at first. I often got the “bad” flavours, but they usually at least semi-palatable. Pepper is fine, and booger tasted like grass in lolly form, but then I got a rotten egg flavoured bean. Which made me dry retch. I was this close to vomiting at work. And then I dared try another yellow bean, and almost threw up again.

They seem cool at first, but I’m scared of them now, and I’ll never look at jelly beans the same way again. When did eating jelly beans become a game of Russian roulette?

So anyway, armed with a bottle of Dettol and a very sharp pin, I set out to burst that motherfucker into oblivion. Twenty minutes, a sink full of blood, and a bit of pain later, I managed to get some puss out, but somehow I couldn’t burst the pimple, irrespective of the fact that I poked the pin all the way through. Multiple times. I love popping pimples, so I thought it would be a goldmine..!

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea, but I was going out to a ~social gathering~ and didn’t really need it to be visible, although I’ve realised that if I don’t mention stuff, then people don’t notice it anyway.

Focus question: Have you ever attempted “home surgery”?

Anyway, today’s topic is sleep. I’ve had a problem (although it’s so so much a problem as a feature) recently, in that I’m constantly tired and always want to sleep (or even just lay in bed). Not to hypersomnia levels or anything, but definitely to the point where it’s getting annoying.

I mentioned in a recent blog entry that I don’t understand how some people can stay up all night and get but a few hours sleep. For the past few weeks, I’ve been sleeping for about nine hours each night (and staying in bed for a lot longer). Usually I’d wake up after eight hours, and ideally I’d only need seven or eight per night, but at the moment I’ll be yawning and sleepy all day unless I get the full nine. I don’t know why I’m constantly tired and constantly lying in bed during the middle of the day. Also it’s probably not a Good Thing that the most exciting part of my day is going to bed, and the worst is waking up.

Further, it’s made me rather unproductive. My attitude towards schoolwork always ends up being “Screw it, I’m going to bed and shall deal with the consequences later.”

Oh look, I just wrote an entry whinging about how I “only” get nine hours sleep a night. Obvious non-problem is obvious.

Sure, they might look like Wayfarers, but you do not look trendy wearing them around the place. Especially indoors. Further note that they don’t even screen ultraviolet light, according to the warning on the packet they come in, and do not protect your eyes in the sun.

‘Tis a worse fashion trend than wearing faux eyeglasses.

Hipsters, I’m looking at you.

Further, there are too many MySpace references for 2009, and it makes choir seem way more serious business than it could ever be In Real Life, but the fact that I whizzed through the first thirteen episodes is a sign that I somehow enjoy it. A lot. Someone tell me why, because I sure as hell don’t know. It does have some catchy song covers, which I think are decent even if I don’t necessarily like the song being covered.

My research tells me that it returns to our screens here on Thursday. So I guess I discovered it just in time.

Working 28 hours, attending university, and having an assignment due, is totally not conducive to my lazy Arts student lifestyle! Today, in particular, was a mess. Uni from 8am-4pm¹; work from 5.30-10.15pm. Further, with my resolution to stop spending so much on lunch, I got very hungry, which seems to make my face fairly pale by the end of the day. That, of course, is completely fine — I like pale skin!

Also! I was running on only four hours sleep², on account of working the previous night, and then having to stay up to finish a lab report introduction I had due at today at 8am in my lab. Upon proofreading it this morning, I realised I spent too much time plugging my awesome research proposal, and not enough time reviewing the literature. Alas.

But in the end, I’ll finish the week $450 richer, so it’s not a complete loss. Also note that I don’t usually work this much, although I’ll now have increased hours at work for at least a couple of weeks.

Anyway, I think this entry was rather boring. Hey, they can’t all be winners! Tomorrow, I resolve to spend the entire day in bed and/or staring at screens. People keep telling me to watch Glee. Until a few days ago, I had no desire to see it, but now, all of a sudden, I have the urge. That happens to me, sometimes; I don’t know why. I grabbed the extended pilot from work this evening, and am going to give it a chance.

1. Although I did have two hours of break, in which I spammed Twitter for the second time today. And by “spammed Twitter”, I mean “tweeted twelve times in one day, which is probably a record for me, though nothing compared to what others are capable of”
2. I almost always get eight. I need eight. A full night’s sleep is one of my greatest pleasures. I don’t see how some people can stay up all night, every night!

What is it about people I meet from the Internet, generally being cooler than people I meet offline? Yes, there are a lot of ‘tards online, but the people who can string a sentence together are generally pretty fun. Lucy,¹ who was the first person I met on the Internet (on LiveJournal) before meeting In Real Life, was back in Melbourne this week, for the Australian Intervarsity Debating Championships, which, coincidentally, was being held at my university. We caught up, and fun times were had. It’s sort of odd interacting with someone who knows so much about me. But that’s what happens when they’ve been reading your journal for something like four years? I can’t really remember how long, but anyway, we both agreed that each of us know significantly more about each other than our Real Life friends.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

So, next topic! I’ve had some of this in the draft stage for almost two weeks now, so I figure I should post it. Now, If I only I would get around to finishing my various other draft posts…

Anyway, at what point, in 3D movies, does having stuff chucked at the screen/towards the audience become cliché? Really, 3D is the gimmick it doesn’t need to be. Instead of producing something great with it, the filmmakers always end up having something thrown towards the audience, which admittedly makes me almost flinch, but is getting old.

Alice in Wonderland was a decent film, but I think I’d have preferred a reimagining, rather than a sequel. Admittedly, I liked having an older Alice, and I also enjoyed the darkness (I get annoyed when everything is too bright and cheery!), but it just seemed a little bit…lame, with her returning to Wonderland. And the fight scene at the end left a bit to be desired. Fantasy battle scenes in movies children will be watching can be done well, just look at Narnia!

I also found it lulzy that Johnny Depp was the first person to be credited at the end (before the title of the movie, which everyone else was after!), and Mia Wasikowska (who is sort of a no-name, but played Alice) was the last person to be credited.

1. I’ve photospammed some of our previous adventures on this blog in the following posts: Graffiti and Shrine

I don’t know when I’ll be in a position where I can actually like myself, or if that will even happen at all. As I said, self-loathing is just part and parcel of being me, and I’ve accepted that. Abusive self-talk is all too prevalent in my life, but I’m not going to stand in front of a mirror repeating self-affirmations or anything of the sort. I’ve come to realise that I’m overly flawed, and I just deal with it.

I like to think next entry will be free of this wretched Teen Angst.

So! No-one likes a downer (apparently), so I don’t bother letting on in Real Life¹, but I harbour a lot of self-loathing. See, I don’t have anything to like, and obviously don’t have much of a concept of self-worth. Yes, I have low self-esteem, and yes, negative self-loathing cognitions are a key part of my life. It’s not the case that I have a permanent inferiority complex, though. Certainly, I get inferiority complexes, but I’m more likely to be downright narcissistic with a superiority complex. It’s not so much that I’m inferior to other people, it’s more that I’m different and can’t connect with anyone. I’ve somehow collected a large number of friends of friends and acquaintances, but I feel that, in my teenage years at least, I’ve made but one friend who I feel I can actually connect with; someone who I’d miss if they were gone.

But anyway! As I mentioned above, I don’t talk to people about whatever Issues I have. I’m not in constant need of validation. I’m far from being one of those people who continually criticise themselves in front of others, fishing for sympathy. Yes, I’m unattractive, uninteresting, and lack confidence², but I don’t look for sympathy from others. It’s so unproductive and fruitless. I don’t want sympathy, anyway. Self-hatred is just part of who I am, and I can’t imagine not having it, so I deal. Further, low self-esteem is supposedly not a very becoming characteristic.³

It’s gotten worse over the years, and I think I reached a new peak recently. Probably the other peak to the graph of my self-hate was in 2008, where the welfare co-ordinator at school (and a doctor!) decided I needed to talk to psychologist, which I was too wimpy to go through with. That may have been a Bad Idea.

I sort of don’t want to post this, but since I’ve gone and typed it all up, I will.

1. As far as I can tell, I appear indifferent to mildly happy most of the time. That’s my intention, anyway! I rarely show what little emotion I actually have, so I’d lean more towards indifferent, but yeah.
2. Confidence is easy to feign, though. I can fake it, but I haven’t made it…yet?
3. Although, too much self-esteem isn’t very becoming, either. Not to me, at any rate. Over-confident and egotistical people who think they’re way more awesome than they actually are, are generally annoying. Being in the middle of the self-esteem continuum is probably the most desirable place to stay.

But in other news, today’s idea for blog entry came from a conversation among me, Flamboyant Gaga Fanboy (who went to both Lady Gaga’s Melbourne shows), and Top 40 Girl:

Top 40 Girl: What was the highlight of the show?

Flamboyant Gaga Fanboy: Definitely “So Happy I Could Die”.

Me: Really? [as I learnt when I saw The Decemberists, show highlights can come from unexpected songs, but I was still incredulous, because it's a pretty crappy song. But then again, most Lady Gaga songs are!]

Top 40 Girl: I don’t know that song.

Me: How do I know it and you don’t?

Flamboyant Gaga Fanboy: How do you know it?

My point is that people don’t listen to entire albums anymore, and it’s sad. What with the rise of the iTunes Store and peer-to-peer software, people mainly just listen to lead singles, which are really not always the best songs of the album. Albums should be listened to in full!

But anyway, I have sort of a reputation for listening to obscure music. In fact, Lady Gaga is the only thing I know about Top 40-type music. It’s hard not to know her music. Here’s an example conversation:

Friend: You know that “Sexy Bitch” song?

Me: No.

Friend: Oh…

I often listen to gapless albums, and concept albums; songs from which are not exactly meant to be listened to out of context. I do it anyway, but perhaps it’s another reason I find it disappointing that people aren’t listening to entire albums…

Focus Questions: What about you? Do you listen to entire albums, or just a few songs?

It started with a tweet. It ended with a coating of squashed bugs on the windscreen. It was? A trip to our overly-circular capital city.

Friday

We (Amanda, her boyfriend, her brother, and I) departed Melbourne at around two o’clock in the afternoon, and after various stops (such as Albury, for dinner), we finally arrived in Canberra, where we met up with two people who I retroactively discovered were also bloggers. Let’s hope I get these links right: Carmen and Michael¹. Canberra is a pretty quiet city, but it was a Friday night, so we went bar-hopping, and Fun Times were had.

Saturday

We left early for the the main purpose of the trip: the Masterpieces from Paris exhibition at the National Gallery of Australia. We had to queue for a few hours, but we saw some pretty impressive stuff. I was most impressed with Cézanne’s and Khnopff’s work, but less impressed by Monet and pointillism.

The other main tourist-y attraction we went to see on Saturday was the Australian War Memorial, which is enormous in comparison to Melbourne’s Shrine.

The night was capped off with pizza, Yet More Alcohol, and Skyfire, an annual fireworks show over Canberra’s large man-made lake, Lake Burley Griffin. It was pretty cool, and lasted longer than New Year fireworks shows (i.e., the only firework shows I ever see) generally do, and it was easy to get a prime viewing spot, which would not be so readily-available in Melbourne or Sydney.

Sunday

We did a few bits and pieces, and then drove all the way back to Melbourne. I’m supposed to have read a lot for uni subjects this week, but alas, I only managed a page. Overall, I had a completely excellent weekend.

1. Canberra has a small enough population that the bloggers:non-bloggers ratio in Canberra over the weekend totally had a significant change.

I’ll be without Internet access, so if I go insane? That’s why. Too dependent on the Internet, I am. I have free mobile Twitter for a little while longer, so I’ll still be in your mobile network, reading your tweets, if I have a free moment.

I think I packed whatever I need. Almost forgot to pack underwear, though!

However, there’s one thing I spend too much money on: lunch. I’m not going to put a cap on spending whilst out with friends, but buying lunch solo at uni becomes far too expensive. I’ve resolved to limit my spending on food, opting to take it with me to university instead. What with this resolution and my “can’t-be-bothered”-ness re: actually making lunch, I went pretty hungry yesterday. Over seven hours, I had a combination of lectures, tutorials, and work at my on-campus job, armed with only a bread roll to satisfy my appetite. Now, I’m someone who has a large appetite. I’m in constant need of fuel. Essentially, I want to have my cake and eat it too (both literally and figuratively, of course), as I want to have lunch, but don’t want to make lunch. As an aside, when I’m inevitably still hungry after eating what I’ve bought, I get buyer’s remorse.

Anyway, this week’s lunch budget was spent (very wisely) on a vanilla thickshake. I just can’t resist! One of the benefits of donating blood, is that I can get a free large milkshake afterwards. To be honest, that’s secretly the main reason I continue going. The nurses once inspected my veins to see if I was eligible to donate plasma (which can be donated every two weeks, as opposed to three months for blood), but alas my veins are to small. Woe is I, I have to pay for milkshakes.

That last bit was random and off-topic, but hey, I’m passionate.

1. that said, I’ll be in Canberra next weekend, though that’s domestic, fairly close to Melbourne, and a hell of a lot cheaper than overseas trips.

The inspiration for today’s blog entry comes from a conversation that happened last night:

Mother, talking about Facebook, Twitter, blogs: “What surprises me is that people want to share everything with everyone.”

Sister: “What surprises me, is that they think people care enough to read it.”

Little do they know, am I right? I am right, because there is always someone who wants to read it.¹ I have people who subscribe to and read this blog (albeit a small number), without me even having to hold them at gunpoint. I enjoy the fact that I’m writing to an audience. Writing for an audience, even.

Further, the more personal the blog is (i.e., the more details that are given out about the bloggers’ personal lives), the more interesting it generally is. Since being told I’m a bit elusive online, I’m endeavouring to talk about it more, continuing my “thoughts about random topics” approach I had when I began, but also sharing more personal thoughts and details. I’ve mentioned before that if I told Real Life friends about this blog, most of them wouldn’t understand the concept of blogging, and the speech I quoted above supports my hypothesis.

I guess you have to be a blogger to understand blogging.

1. provided you can write with correct spelling and grammar, and can write something in at least a vaguely-interesting style, perhaps

Anyway, here’s a list of a few things I did over my rather uneventful three-month break, which I haven’t mentioned on this blog yet. Lists are way fun, am I right?

• Watched a bunch of movies
  I can rent free DVDs from work, and have been taking advantage of it. Keeping a list of all the movies I see is pretty fun, I don’t know why.
• Started to knit a scarf
  Definitely not one of the more masculine hobbies I could have chosen, but I was so inspired by Tom Baker’s scarf from Doctor Who, that I just had to learn. In fact, I completed one scarf a while ago (with the help of my mother), but it is a bit mistake-ridden, far too wide, and as a result, heavy and not very wearable. My second attempt (it’s about 40% finished) is much improved, and all my own work. I’ve attempted photos, but the colours really don’t capture well on my camera.
• Read books
  I don’t read nearly as much fiction as I used to, but I recommend The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet by Reif Larsen, which I received as a Christmas gift. It’s fascinating in the way it has intersting maps, diagrams, and other illustrations, in the margins of the pages (all relevant to the story, of course). Non-fiction I’ve been perusing includes The Definitive Book of Body Language, as well as a few pages here and there of psychology textbooks.
• Watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  I’m unashamedly a Buffy fan, now. While sometimes too heavy on teen relationship angst, it’s an addictive show. I whizzed through the first five seasons (as well as interspersing Angel for the crossovers [/nerd]), and will get to the final two when I have a suitable break. I currently have a few marathon-y shows in my backlog, which are, of course, reserved for holidays..! Some people prefer movies to TV shows, but a good serialised TV show is my weakness. I get addicted quickly and marathon the hell out of them. Procedurals don’t really do it for me, though. As for those, Bones is the only one I bother to keep up with.
• Kept up with the final season of Lost
  So Lost shall be forever immortalised as one of the greatest shows made. I’ve been watching it since the beginning, and although it will be sad when it’s over, it’s also exciting. In fact, I think I’ll be more excited about the final episode of Lost, than I was for the final episode of Battlestar Galactica. And that is saying something, it really is. At this point, I’m wondering how they are going to wrap Lost up, and how they’re going to do it in only three months.
• Re-played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
  I still have my good ol’ Nintendo 64, and I got the urge to replay both Zelda games a few months ago. People who read my tweets will be aware of that. In the last week or two, I started playing again, and am almost finished. I was probably about ten years old the last time I played the entire way through! Ocarina of Time is one of the best N64 games there is, but I think I prefer the sidequest-y nature of Majora’s Mask.