ethos & pathos

jumping the ladder

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:00:00 +0000

I'm in a particularly pensive mood, perhaps because its 6+am in the morning, but mostly because these couple of days have been plagued with relationship issues surrounding my close circle that its just been keeping me up.

“Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it’s also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to.” - Grey's Anatomy

I've been in and out of a couple of relationships for the past x years, and I've just been giving a lot of thought about these people who were once a very important part of my life. I'm particularly thankful, for without them, I dont think that my perception of love and relationships would have matured as much.

“Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… as long as you choose your moments wisely.” - Grey's Anatomy

It's sad, how lovers can turn into strangers... but I guess life goes on. And you begin to learn. You stop believing in all the sweet words that a boy can say to you. You stop using words like "always" and "forever". You know what are the "death traps" and "warning signs" to look out for before you step into anything. And while you may take a shorter and shorter time to heal each time a relationship fails, that doesnt mean it hurts any lesser. It just means that our rational minds take over - we know that its time to move on.

"Some people believe that without history our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know? Or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time, after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we’re making today." - Grey's Anatomy

I havent really been alone for a long time now... being alone scares me. But the truth is, getting into another relationship now scares me more. I dont want to have to go through the whole phase again - the getting to know you, honeymoon, quarrels, drama, and breakup. Sometimes, you quarrel over the most pointless of reasons. Other times, you just have to accept that things are just not working out. It's too tiring. It's too emotionally draining. And it sucks.

Perhaps its a phase I'm in. My perception of love and relationships has changed a lot over the past few years, and I'm currently in a state where I dont appreciate drama. I just want to slide right into stability, and not have to put myself through emotional roller coaster rides. Maybe thats what they call settling. I'm just, tired.

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope..." - Grey's Anatomy

Here's to saying "No".

And here's to growing up.

Welcoming the Dragon Year

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:16:00 +0000

It's Chinese New Year, again. I missed it last year, cuz I was in Disneyworld, Florida for Lotusphere Conference.

Family Picture after Reunion Lunch

CNY routine is always the same. Reunion lunch on CNY eve, then leftovers for dinner. Go to grandma's house on CNY day 1, lunch, accompany her to the temple, dinner. Then nua at home for CNY day 2.

We went to Peach garden for dinner this year.

Mum, Grandma and Me cam-whoring after dinner

I like my dress :D

Happy Dragon Year everyone. Hope its a good one :)

a better year

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:48:00 +0000

The New Year didnt get off on a very good start, what with my Grandpa being hospitalized, cutting my Taiwan trip short and flying back, yada yada, but I'm glad all's well now :) My Ah Gong was discharged last week, and he's recovering well at home, so yay.

Also really glad I got to meet up with loads of people :)

Caught Wicked with Yanhao, Yilin, Weili and her friend last Wed. It was good, but I think Lion King was better. I felt that the singer wasnt powerful enough, her voice was a little too sharp and couldnt convey the emotions strongly enough :( The YouTube version is better though.

Had dinner with my loves on Thur night at Sichuan Court.

Lar, Manda, Me :)

It's been 1.5 years since we last met, having been separated on 3 different continents, but I'm glad we're all back now on (way too) sunny Singapore. So hard to believe that we're all grown up now, but yet some things never change since our secondary school days. xoxo.

Dinner with Yixiang and CK on Friday night. Was supposed to go to 2d1n for Korean buffet, but we ended up having Marutama ramen instead. I'm a ramen monster!!

Sunday lunch with the girls at Ippudo.

'Bernice, Mich, Lar, Mandy, Me. Its funny how our paths crossed :)

Sunday dinner at Santouka Ramen. Told you I'm a ramen monster :)

Nette, Novita, Law and Me :) Another funny story how our paths crossed. OG Mate + DDP mates + Scheme mates into CCA mates and now awesome buds :)

On Monday, I headed down to Centrepoint for the interview with ZDNetAsia for VSee. It was a really quick one :)

Kevin (interviewer) and me

VSee-ing Milton who was in Florida

I've been back in school everyday this week. Was planning to help out NOC with their booth and stuff, but I kept bumping into random friends. I miss meeting people and chatting and catching up. I miss the entire social aspect of school :)

Yesterday was quite kua zhang, cuz I bumped into so many familiar faces that I ended up having 3 "lunches" and 2 "dinners". But it was all good :)

I went back to help out with NOC booth today, but got fungry halfway through that I ended up going for lunch with Hsiang Hui! Haha. Then Penny ping-ed me and I went to meet her and Kenny at Engine. Dragged her along to the SOC career fair. Honestly, I was planning to stay only for a few minutes, but we ended up meeting so many random familiar faces who just kept coming that we ended up staying way past an hour. It's also funny to observe how my various circles of friends are so different, and it was so apparent during career fair today!

Yes, we're all grown up now. Time for me to do some work... or sleep :S CNY is in a couple of days time, not that I celebrate it much anyway. Will probably be up working on Monday night since there's huddles and stuff, but oh wells, lets just hope the year will get better! :)

my wish for 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 08:13:00 +0000

Filmed this outside Cathay when I was out with Rng :) Happy 2012!

我爱台北

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:24:00 +0000

The long awaited trip to Taipei on 1 Jan with Penny. I was super super excited :)

We arrived in Taipei at about 8+pm, met Chia-Ling and headed off to night market for dinner/ supper :)

Raohe night market has the best yuan yuan shao!! haha.

Had my favourite pudding again :)

Played basketball machine twice... I used to suck at it, but I think I improved :)

We went to 九份 and 金瓜石 the next day.

Jump shot :)

At the old street with all the yummy food :)

基隆夜市. Love the 鼎边锉 :)

Went to 平溪 on the third day. Specially dressed up for it cuz I wanted to take pretty photos, haha! :)

Love the train tracks :)

We saw this super cute pig next to a shop selling fresh pork :S Erps.

Love love love this window and the leaves :) I look super unglam here but its my most natural laughter haha!

Super nice tree

Love this wooden post card. Its the shape of Taiwan!

We had dinner with Penny's ASES friend, then went for first round of KTV at 钱柜. Then we met up with Chia-Ling again for a second round of KTV at 新聚点. KTV from 10pm - 430am :S Zoms!!

I had to cut my trip short and fly back cuz my Ah Gong's health deteriorated. Kinda sad that I didnt get to go to Tainan and play this time, but oh wells, there's always another time :) Making plans to see if I can go spend a month/ 3 months/ half a year/ a year in Taiwan. Hmm. Tempting. Haha!

Chia-Ling, Penny and I at the shuttle bus station before I left

Year in Review 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:09:00 +0000

The mandatory last day of the year meme as per tradition :)

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
- Skydiving
- Diving
- Drive for more than 10 hours straight
- Speed at more than 130 mph
- Stayed on campus
- Lasik
- Hiking and camping outdoors
- Riding at the back of a motorbike
- Party on the streets
- Many many conferences and themeparks - CES, Lotusphere, Google IO, Disneyworld, Disneyland, Islands of Adventure..etc
- Took 6 modules per sem and still go to town almost every week.
- Countdown party in Times Square!! Zoms.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont remember making any for 2010 even though I think I said I will.. couldnt find it in my blog archives either. Hmm.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yup, new cousin - Nicholas' little bro :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
USA (super a lot of cities), Toronto (Ontario, Canada), Krabi (Thailand), KL/ Ipoh/ Penang (Malaysia)

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Happiness, love, courage, and clarity of mind.

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Jan 1, 2011, because we were freezing in Times Square!! :P

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduation :)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not having the courage to walk away

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Thankfully, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Macbook Air, Kindle, Samsung Galaxy S2, Giant Costco bear, new running shoes :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Everyone in their own different ways.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Us.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Travelling & food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
All the travelling, and graduation.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
California Girls - Katy Perry
Rolling in the Deep - Adele
我的歌声里－曲婉婷
那些年－胡夏

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? both sadder and happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Exercising.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating.

20. How will you be spending Christmas 2012?
I have no idea. This year, I spent it at home. Hopefully next year, it wont be alone :)

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Well, I just discovered Grey's Anatomy, so I guess its that? Oh, and Whitney too, and 2 broke girls.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
Steve Jobs - Walter Isaacson

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Mayday, all over again :) and Adele.

28. What did you want and get?
More friends, joy, and laughter.

29. What did you want and not get?
Stability.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter, 那些年我们一起追的女孩

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went for a surprise dinner the night before with Yan Hao, Kenny, Yixiang and Canggih at House of Nanking in San Francisco. Then we went to watch a movie. I cant remember the title, but I know it was set in Chicago, about some train explosion :P And then I think on the actual day, went for dim sum brunch with Canggih, Siurui, Penny and Kenny, then Cupertino for bubble tea, and there was a house party to celebrate Akshita and my birthday at the San Mateo juniors' house :)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
That things didnt change after SV.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Dressy

34. What kept you sane?
Friends. Really.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
None.

37. Who did you miss?
Mandy and Lar.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
NOC peeps, Tembusu people, and new old friends :)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I still like Elaina's answer from many many years ago, "That sometimes, a great friendship is the best thing you can have or hope for." and perhaps also that the only constant thing in life is change. So we just gotta adapt and not take things too hard.

And something special I learnt in 2011… letting go is the best form of control.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
It's funny that even though it has been so many years, it seems that my year can always be summed up with the same two quotes:

"I've learned that goodbyes will always hurt, pictures never replace having been there, memories good or bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings. Your memory is a way of holding on to what you are, what you love, and what you never want to lose the wonder years... Some things will always be a part of me .. no matter how far I run, or where I hide. I just can't escape the memories. Sometimes even though you're having fun, you can't help but stop & think about how much you miss the old times. Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts. For some moments in life, there are no words."

"People grow up and grow apart, and even though it sucks its something we just cant keep from happening. As time goes on all that will be left of some friendships are memories and 'remember when's'. But no matter what happens, or who you may be friends with today, never forget your old friends. They were the ones who helped you get over your first break up, listened to you when you thought no one understood, and made you the person you are today"

Happy New Year everyone :)

It's off to Taiwan for me. New year, new beginnings, in a new land.

Hoping that this will be a fresh start for me post-graduation :)

Meetup with CCA folks

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:47:00 +0000

Backdated post.

Went KTV with the BizAsia folks sometime on the last week of December.

Ryan and Jewel singing old school couple duet :P

Casey & Ye Qing

Ye Qing and Me

And we sang this song cuz Elisha couldnt make it :P

Party Rock Anthem!

Met up with the S@S Folks the next day. Had dinner at Raffles City, then headed off to Clark Quay for some drinks.

Jia De, Elisha and I

Elisha and I

Aaron and I. Mr tight-lipped Aaron just got attached and he didnt even tell us about it that night!!

Dede who was funny and target of our suan-ing about his height, as usual :P

Noth, who was unusually quiet

Choon Sin, whom we havent met for ages, but as usual, entertains the crowd with interesting stories

Aaron, Noth, Me and De.

So glad I got to know this amazing bunch of friends through CCA :)

meetups and such

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 16:11:00 +0000

Met the SoC folks on Monday since Chris is back for a while before heading back to Boston again. Dinner at Marutama at Suntec.

Gab, YC, Chris, YH, Steph, Me :)

Went for drinks at some German bar after that at Millenia Walk

Steph, YH, Me. Feels like our 1 year reunion lol.

The boys

Met Lin and Manda on Wed for our secret rendezvous :P Watched Mission Impossible at night. What a great movie.

Went for facial appointment on Thur, and then to alter my shorts. Lost 2 inches. Happy :) The seamstress made me very happy. Haha.

Had Pre-Christmas steamboat party at Ye Qing's place on Friday.

Jewel, Ye Qing and Elisha

Casey chopping the garlic & chilli which caused his hands to burn :P

Had a good time chatting with them and making fun of Jewel like "old times" :P

Gonna be a quiet Christmas weekend at home with some movies and drama. Everyone's either out partying or overseas :(

penang trip

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 16:50:00 +0000

Left for Penang on Monday with my Grandma. She had been talking about going there for ages to visit the temples and stuff, so I finally decided to bring her there.

Penny was there, and she kindly brought us around for a couple of days for all the awesome food :)

Char Kueh Teow, Assam Laksa, Chendol, Cuttlefish Kang Kong, Chili Crab, Chee Cheong Fun...etc

Soo good :))

Funny pictures taken by Penny

Grandma and I at the clan jetties

Outside the Snake Temple

Charlie Brown Cafe :) Cuteness overload.

This is what Penang Times Square is supposed to look like. In real life, it hardly looks like that :P

Penang Bridge

It was a good eating trip :) The weather was insanely hot on the third day, which was supposed to be our walk around visiting heritage places day, so we didnt sight-see much. Still, I miss Penang already!! For the food :) Haha.

Cant wait for Taipei in Jan!

MBS Infinity Pool

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:44:00 +0000

Went up to the MBS Infinity Pool last Sunday with Yan Hao and Yi Lin.

Actually, it was more like crashing, but I'll leave out the details. Haha.

Awesome view

Love this pic but it is slightly blur, heh.

Riches of Singapore

If only this photo was the correct side.

Yi Lin and I

Made this scrapbook for TYH for his birthday since I never got him anything for his birthday before. Haha. So proud of it :)

first week of no school

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:39:00 +0000

Quick update.

After I moved out of UTown on Monday, I had dinner at Carli and Penny's place with Ed who was in town. Headed over to Hooters at Clark Quay after that for Carolyn's farewell.

Carolyn, Amy (her sister), Canggih and Me :)

The hot wings at Hooters are yummy!!

Tuesday was spent sleeping, working, and had dinner with Penny's friends at Newton. Met Jun for the first time. Zoms, pretty girl!!

Wednesday was spent in town. Went for eye appointment at noon, then went shopping for a bit. As usual, spent useless money at the scrapbooking shop. Hahaha. Bought a new bag at Charles and Keith, and a tonne of stuff that I dont even remember Zz.

Oh, and I bought some groupon deal rubbish for makeup lesson, so I went for a 1-on-1 class. It was quite useful for me since I'm a makeup noob.

This is how I looked like after class.

Headed over to Marina Square for VSee SG Christmas Dinner at Tastings Room.

Ken, Penny, Me, James, Kenny

Creme Brulee dessert. The Merry Christmas thing is cardboard, not white chocolate. Its inedible. Yes, I tried. Zzz.

The food at Tastings room was not bad actually. Will definitely go back there again :) I like the Foie Gras! Haha.

Went back to UTown on Thur with the intention to work and jog, but bumped into Rollen, Tian Wei and Jonathan (and later Wei Jian) and we ended up chatting for a couple of hours. Haha. And I jogged 3km around UTown in 18 min! Proud of myself :)

YH dropped me off at China Square in the evening, and I walked to City Hall to meet CK and Yixiang for dinner. But we later decided to head over to Central for ramen, so thats 3km of walking. Its great to meet up with the two boys cuz we always talk tonnes of cock/ rubbish :) Miss the SV days!

Friday was spent at home working, and then had family dinner with my Grandpa who was in town. Headed up to MBS Infinity Pool at night with Penny, Ed and Jun. Second time there and the view was still as breathtaking.

Jun, Penny, Ed

Me in the pool :)

Went for NOC bootcamp on Sat to meet the new SV folks. What an enthusiastic bunch :) Dinner at Holland V with Rollen, Tian Wei and Jie Wei before heading home.

Today, I jogged 5km in 32 min. I have a feeling my iPod is not calibrated cuz according to map my run, its only 4.5km, but I jogged a bit more here and there. Still, its a not bad speed considering how bad I am at jogging/ exercising in general. Haha :)

And after burning 300 calories (about half a packet of kettle chips, which incidentally I'm addicted to recently), I'm off to have Ramen again. Ta!

moving out, moving on

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 19:56:00 +0000

I checked out of Tembusu yesterday.

As I packed my stuff, there was that sudden strong feeling of nostalgia.

It finally sunk into me. Its over.

A huge phase of my life is over.

The college days, the schooling years. Tembusu, UTown, and all that it meant to me.

C, study groups, friends, social circles.

I have a job now, and I work from home.

Penny asked if I smell freedom. Ironically, moving back home means the loss of freedom.

Losing your bubble is scary.

Uncertainty is scary.

But perhaps what saddened me most was the fact that moving out signifies the true end to the fuzzy, more-than-friends, not-in-a-relationship "relationship" we were never supposed to have.

The fact that it is really over.

What lies ahead?

I know things will be fine. I know life will come around.

It always does...

but how long will it take till we get there?

"Sad, but what to do?"

Like how Colin puts it, "the most satisfactory, but yet unsatisfactory ending ever."

5 meals a day malaysian food trip

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 19:20:00 +0000

Flew back to Singapore on Nov 29, and the flight was late :( Cabbed back to UTown, showered, packed, ate dinner, and then rushed to Golden Mile Complex with Colin and met Steph.

We took the Grassland overnight bus from Singapore, and arrived at Ipoh at 730am.

Ipoh was kinda boring actually :X We hired a cab to drive us around, there were lots and lots of caves, but they were not pretty caves like those in the US :X The food though, was good :)

Prata, Murtabak, Chapati, Beansprout chicken with horfun, grasspower, meatballs, garlic bread, old town white coffee

All the cave places

The next day, we took a morning bus to KL. Checked in, then headed off to Sunway Lagoon for a day of theme park fun :) It actually wasnt that fun, but I wasnt expecting much anyway :S Haha. It was a pity we didnt get to walk on the super long suspension bridge because it closed :( Boo.

Sunway Lagoon

Colin, Steph and I

Oh, and I was extremely shocked by how well-clothed people were in a water themepark. Seriously, I was expecting people to be walking around in bikinis and stuff, but no, everyone was really well-clothed. I was a little embarrassed I had to go buy a tshirt to wear over my swim suit :X Zzz.

We spent the night walking around Chinatown and eating non-stop. But it was so good! Haha.

The next day, we headed up to Genting.

Steph, Colin and I on the cable car

We bought tickets to the outdoor theme park, went on two rides, before it started raining heavily and we had to head indoors. Zzz :(

We went for lunch, then an hour of KTV, but the rain didnt stop, so we decided to head back down to KL. Stupid weather :( But the food made up for it I guess! Haha.

Love Chinatown street food

Oh, this is Colin's glow-in-the-dark banana boxers, which totally doesnt glow despite his claims :P

All the food we had in KL over 2 days. Super a lot! Haha.

We took a train back from KL to Singapore, simply because I havent taken a long distance train before.

Bad mistake. Never ever ever take the train from Malaysia to Singapore.

It was supposed to run from 215pm to 830pm. It was delayed due to some train challenge event going on, and didnt start running till 4pm. It was going so slowly, and kept stopping. At one point, it even went in the opposite direction towards where we came from -_- And we didnt arrive in Singapore until 1am. Zoms. Kill me please.

The carriage was small, dirty, gross and disgusting. Seriously, couldnt have been any worse. I hardly give such bad reviews, but the KTM really totally turned me off :S

I'd rather pay more to take the bus or fly back, really.

Nonetheless, it was still a good food trip. And I ate so much its time for me to exercise again to shed those pounds!

open water dive

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:26:00 +0000

Took my last exam paper - ST1131 at MPSH1A.

Expected it to be an easy paper, but it turned out pretty challenging. Stupid lecturer cheat my feeling :( Nonetheless, I managed to finish it all, and hopefully it'll put me nearer the right end of the bell curve. Haha.

Flew off to Krabi the next day with Penny to do our open water diving course.

I was scolded for taking this photo. Why??

We arrived in the late afternoon, then hopped on a van, and had 2 ferry transfers before arriving at Amantra Resort & Spa.

Checked in and changed into our swimsuit to get ready for the swim test - 10 mins threading water and 7 laps of swimming. Zoms, threading water is so damn tiring!! But I'm glad we all passed :)

We all rested that night and watched the theory DVD since we had to be up early the next morning to start our lessons.

Beautiful beach :)

First day of lessons were all in the pool, with one shore dive. I was really bad during the shoredive, cuz I couldnt really see where I was going since it was too sandy. Haha.

Learning how to put our equipment together

Had dinner with Tamara and Matyie at Cook Kai

The third day, we woke up really early to go for our open water dive at Koh Haa. It was so so so beautiful. The underwater world is really so breathtaking :) We did 3 dives underwater.. and I could feel myself becoming more comfortable each time. I was really bad the first dive, couldnt even go underwater, and my coordination was really bad. But I slowly improved, and I really enjoyed the dives. Zoms. So pretty!!

It started raining on the way back, and we could see this beautiful rainbow from the boat.

Most of the pics below are from Mat Yie :)

Prepping our BCD and stuff for the dive

Going through our theory test answers

Finishing our dive

The boat at Koh Haa

The wave was really strong on the surface

Penny and I

Me underwater. Totally didnt occur to me that I should smile! Haha.

Penny and I

Penny and I and another Malaysian couple

Super chill :)

Koh Haa

Dalton and Matyie on the small boat that was bringing us to the dive boat

We finished 3 dives on that day, and came back to rest before heading out to a pizza party with the diving folks, and then to Opium for some drinks.

On the fourth day, we basically slept till past noon, then woke up and chilled along the beach and pool after lunch. What a relaxing day :)

Beautiful sunset

Dinner again with Tamara and Matyie at some place which had nice calamari. Haha.

Cant wait to do my advanced diving course in Perhentian!!

Upcoming trips

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 06:31:00 +0000

3 more days! :)

goals accomplished

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 06:26:00 +0000

I was looking through my archives just now and found this post.

Basically I listed my top 5 goals for NOC:

1. Figure out what I want to do in future - Startup on my own? Corporate chase? Work in a startup? What industry I wanna be in? ...etc
2. Figure out where my studies is heading - should I keep/drop DDP? Which degree to drop? (Linked to goal 1 on which industry I'm going to be in.)
3. Lose weight. Yes, I'm determined about this. Really really. I wanna prove everyone wrong and lose weight. Everyone is telling me about how they gained 6-10kg there. Scary!! :(
4. Meet new people. Talk to people. Learn from their experiences.
5. Travel around and soak in the US culture

Seems like I managed to accomplish all 5 :)

Reposted this from tumblr. Ohh, I should really remember this one.

3 more days. This Thursday, 7pm, starts a new chapter of my life :)

monologues

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 18:11:00 +0000

“Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?”

"Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there’s the kind of pain we can’t ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anesthetize… ride it out, embrace it, ignore it… And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it."

"Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through. Because the truth is, you can’t outrun it. And life always makes more."

"As surgeons, we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it’s better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark, there may be fear… but there’s also hope."

"At the end of the day, there are some things you just can’t help but talk about. Some things, we just don’t want to hear. And some things we say because we can’t be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say. They’re what you do. Some things you say because there’s no other choice. Some things, you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then… some things simply speak for themselves."

- Meredith Grey, Grey's Anatomy

《那些年》
作曲：木村充利
填词：九把刀

又回到最初的起点记忆中你青涩的脸
我们终于来到了这一天
桌垫下的老照片无数回忆连结
今天男孩要赴女孩最后的约

又回到最初的起点呆呆地站在镜子前
笨拙系上红色领带的结将头发梳成大人模样
穿上一身帅气西装等会儿见你一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的时光
回到教室座位前后　故意讨你温柔的骂
黑板上排列组合　你舍得解开吗
谁与谁坐他又爱着她

那些年错过的大雨那些年错过的爱情
好想拥抱你　拥抱错过的勇气
曾经想征服全世界到最后回首才发现
这世界滴滴点点全部都是你

那些年错过的大雨那些年错过的爱情
好想告诉你　告诉你我没有忘记
那天晚上满天星星平行时空下的约定
再一次相遇我会紧紧抱着你
紧紧抱着你

♥

SC complaint follow-up

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 02:11:00 +0000

About 3 days after I posted the original complaint on the SC online form, I didnt receive any replies, so I went back to the SC website again to take a look at the form.

Upon closer scrutiny, I realised that there was a separate form for lodging complaints!

Seriously, I so did not notice that the first time. Maybe cuz my eyes are trained to ignore random inline texts thanks to inline advertisements!

Anyhow, so I lodged the same complaint again on their complaint form, and got this:

Undefined reference number. How awesome is their web interface?

I tried to submit again, but got undefined reference again. I was on the verge of giving up, when I decided to try again. This time, I complained about getting an undefined reference number when I tried to complain, and the form actually got through -_- Talk to me about irony. Wth. Immediately after it got through, I tried to lodge my original complaint again, and the undefined reference error came back. Zzz. They just dont want me to complaint.

Anyway, they claimed that they will get back to me in 1 business day, and they did. I think the customer agent who called me to apologize about the undefined error was a little taken aback when I spent 5 min recounting to her the entire story of my experience with SC. She was rather efficient though, which kinda made up for all my unhappiness with SC.

The manager of the SC branch at ION called me up and asked me for more details, such as when I visited the branch, who served me..etc. I tried to give them as much details as possible. In less than two hours, the original service agent who processed my application called me on his cell phone and apologized profusely. He claimed that he was not based in that branch and their system went through a revamp so I have no idea what happened to my app, but he said he will process my app first thing this morning.

This morning, I received an email from SC:

"Dear Ms Ng,

As per our conversation, understand that my colleague, Zheng Han, has contacted you yesterday and is assisting you in setting up the account.

Please accept our sincere apologies for the inconvenience caused.

If you require any assistance, please either contact me at xxxx-xxxx or alternatively you may contact Zheng Han at xxxx-xxxx and we will be pleased to assist you.

Thank you.

Best Regards,
Cynthia Soh
Customer Experience Management"

So yea, now I just hope that my account would be opened successfully or this saga will definitely continue on. Till now, all's good. I'm impressed by how well they managed the complaint once it actually got through to the right department. Then again, the difficulty is in getting the complaint through. Lol.

epic last day of my undergrad classes

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:23:00 +0000

What an epic day.

Was 1.5 hours late for MNO4313B and missed the final quiz. Quizzes are like 30% of the entire class since there's no final exam. Zz. Arrived for the last 15 minutes of class, which was spent singing a bunch of cultural songs in different languages. Imagine my agony *_* And halfway through, it occurred to me that I forgot to bring my term paper for submission. It's worth 30% too. Zzz! How bad can my day get?!

So I had to send SOS messages to my friends, but luckily Steph was in school today and she kindly helped me to print my paper in COM1 and delivered it to me!! Yay so sweet :) Thanks Steph, love you deep deep!!! :D :D

Went to talk to the Professor, and he allowed me to take the quiz with the next class. Phew. But that also meant that I had to miss my next seminar class (Biz policy), which I really want to attend. Boo. On a brighter note, thankfully my group finished the final presentation last week, if not we will be GGXX-ed. So yea, everything worked out fine in the end, which was a blessing :) Phew.

Bumped into Kai in the restroom after my class. Havent seen her in a long time. Happy :) :)

Oh, and I wrote a feedback email to Standard Chartered. Their online feedback form has a 1000 character limit. So dumb. Well, I guess its a good thing for them, cuz otherwise, I'd probably send in another long feedback email like this one.

"I am writing this feedback to express my utmost disappointment at the service that SC has provided. I sent in 2 online requests for info abt your services. I didnt receive any call back the 1st time. For the 2nd time, I received an email saying that an agent will call me in 1-2 days. I called in to SC phone banking, who got someone to call me back to sell me timed deposits instead. Last Wed (Nov 3), I went to SC branch @ ION to open an account. This Wed (Nov 10), I received a call from a SC agent responding to my 2nd online request placed back in Oct. The agent told me that my application is not reflected in the online system & that I needed to walk in again. Later, she said she'll check with the ION branch and call me back, but I did not receive any call back. As of now, I do not know the status of my application. I'm utterly disappointed with this kind of service, and am strongly reconsidering my decision to be a customer of SC. I look forward to receiving a favourable explanation."

On a brighter note, IM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH CLASSES IN NUS! :D

My Tembusu GEM class in UTown - GEM1902E (Social) Innovation with Kelvin Pang :)

溫柔

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 18:57:00 +0000

如果你對我說你想要一朵花那麼我就會給你一朵花
如果你對我說你想要一顆星星那麼我就會給你一顆星星
如果你對我說你想要一場雪那麼我就會給你一場雪
如果你對我說你想要離開我那麼我會說我會對你說...

我給你自由，我給你自由，我給你全部全部，全部自由。

聽五月天的歌會讓我有一種莫名的感動和一種堅強的勇氣。

16 days and counting

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 14:35:00 +0000

Woot. Omg, time flies. It's week 13!! :) Which means, 16 days till the end of my exams as a NUS undergraduate. Graduation beckons :)

I really should be studying, but I got distracted with updating my blog template thanks to the new blogger dynamic view templates. HTML5. So cool! :D

Shall update with some photos that I found on my computer :)

Food!! Has always been a big part of my life, and always will be :) This is what I miss Singapore for :)

Dinner with Amanda at Hard Rock Cafe at RWS before watching some show which I forgot the title, haha.

Outside USS :) Too bad Lar isnt back. Love you dears :)

407 class reunion at Food for thought, then Gong Cha at Raffles City. Its been 6 years, omg! :)

NOC 10th year anniversary dinner @ Swissotel The Stamford Ballroom. Only half the batch attended, boo :(

Fright night at Singapore Flyer with Colin, C and Carolyn because we bought some deal thing haha. Zoms, just realised all our names start with "C"! Haha.

Carolyn, Colin and Me inside the flyer capsule.

Awesome view of the Singapore skyline from the flyer :) This is my home :) So proud!!

Chilling at Marina Barrage. Carolyn and I (and Colin).

Merlion in Sentosa! (Had to get into the water to take this pic)

Carolyn, Steph, Colin, Me

Had to climb a sign to take this :P

O-S-A. Lol.

Jumped into a fountain. So drenched!!

I really like this pic actually :)

Carolyn, Colin, Steph, YH, Me

Ran into some fountain thing again. Haha.

Yay :) :)

Outside USS

Woot. Ok, time to go back to studying statistics :( Boo.

Intralase Lasik Surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 10:41:00 +0000

NOT AN ADVERTORIAL

I've been talking about wanting to do lasik for ages now, but never really gotten around to doing it. I was planning to do it after final exams, which was why I turned down Manda for grad trip since I really wanted to do it before Chinese New Year.

Pre-op consultation
Was kinda lazy to arrange the pre-lasik consultation initially, but I'm glad I finally dragged my lazy ass down to Wheelock Plaza last Thur to see Dr Lee at Shinagawa Lasik Centre. The pre-op consultation lasted about 2 hours, of which I only got to see the doctor for the last 10 minutes! Haha. The fist 110 minutes were spent registering, doing eye degree power check (the usual test when you go make your specs at the optician), then there were additional machines to look into to measure the shape and thickness of my cornea. And then they dilated my pupils using this dilating eye drop which made my eyes feel like it was bulging. While waiting for the dilation, they made me watch a video about the lasik surgery, known side effects, the process...etc which was great cuz I felt that I understood a lot more about how the surgery is going to be like. It also helped a lot that everyone in the video said it was painless! Haha.

So when I finally got to see the doctor, he said that my degrees are about 550 and 600 on each eye, with 75 and 25 of astig. He said 600 is the borderline for serious myopia, so mine is still ok. And my cornea thickness is actually below average, but its still ok for my case since my degree is not too high. He said that if the cornea is too thin and my degree is too high, it might not be possible to do lasik as they cannot create the flap for the cornea. Phew. And my pupils are extremely large, according to him. The average size of a dilated pupil for Asians is about 5mm, whereas mine was 9mm, so he said my eyes might experience dryness for a longer period of time and my night vision would be poor for a longer vision of time.

So basically, he explained that lasik is just a replacement for specs/ contacts. It does not prevent/treat/cause eye diseases. So when I grow old, as my eyes change, stuff like cataract and long-sightedness and stuff will still affect me. Also, there is a chance that your eyesight will regress after lasik, most of the time, this is due to dryness. He said that I have a 97% chance of having driving vision (aka almost perfect vision, aka sit at the back of the LT can see the ppt flashed by the lecturer), and for the remaining 3%, I may have to wear specs of 100-150 deg for reading/driving. There is also a 5% chance that my eyesight will regress after the surgery. But there is a 100% chance that my eyesight will definitely improve (aka it will not go back to 600 deg).

Oh, and the doctor said that it actually takes 2 days to "recover", so I only need to take 2 days of MC. That prompted me to schedule the surgery immediately, instead of after finals in Nov! Haha, nonetheless, I have to be extra careful for the first week and avoid getting water into my eyes and lots of other stuff for the first month.

I was actually really excited the entire weekend, until Meryl told me that it hurts and stuff. And I got reminded of the stupid trailer of the movie, Final Destination 5, with that lasik scene. Omg. Couldnt sleep much for 2 nights :( Was getting more and more nervous towards Monday, but luckily I managed to drag C to accompany me to the clinic! :)

Rough description about lasik

I'm not a doctor, so I'm just going to give a rough description of the lasik procedure according to how I understand, in layman terms. Basically, when you have myopia, it means that your cornea is not focusing the light rays correctly on your retina. So lasik changes the shape of your cornea in order to focus the light rays more accurately. To do that, they create a flap on your cornea, open up the flap to shoot lazer in, then close the flap. Imagine opening the lid of your cup noodle into half, pouring water in, then closing the lid. I think the idea is kinda similar! Oh, and they dont sew the cornea back via stitches. The just leave it there and it should heal naturally (which is why you gotta take care or there might be a chance the cornea will get dislodged if you hit your eye in the first week) Hahaha. Actually, for a more scientific video, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gxaTPmKWK8

The surgery

Went in there at 2pm on Monday, then they told me to pay, sign the consent form, keep my stuff in locker blah blah. Then they took me to a nice comfortable chair to lie down and relax, and put some eyedrops to reduce the redness and swelling. They also gave me a sleeping pill of very low dosage so it was more like a relaxant. And then after that they gave me some numbing eye drops, and dressed me up in the surgical robes and shower cap (alot like Grey's anatomy), and cleaned my eyes (eyelids and stuff) Lol! Then the doctor came and checked my eyes and went through the side effects, blah blah usual stuff which I half blocked out cuz I was too nervous and just consented to everything. :X

Then he brought me to the first room where I had to lie down. Note, by this time, they had given me enough numbing eyedrops that I had difficulty even opening my eye. It was time to create the flap. So the doctor put some cap thing into my eye, and I couldnt really see. Then he said there'll be some pressure, and there was. I felt alot of pressure on my eye. It hurt slightly, but not the super cut your arm or break your bone kinda pain. Just like, a lot of pressure on the eye, more like when you're taking blood pressure? Then he told me to stay very very still for 25 seconds, without moving, or swallowing. Just concentrate on breathing. He kept talking to me and encouraging me and telling me to keep still and they counted down every 5 seconds so it felt more like 10 seconds instead of 25 seconds. Then repeat the same for the other eye.

After the 50 seconds, they told me the flap has been created. Like wah, damn fast. Then they washed my eye with saline solution, gave me some more numbing drops and told me to wait. So I lay there and waited, and my relaxant/sleeping pill started to kick in so I started feeling very relaxed and sleepy.

They brought me to the next room which I had to lie down again. This time, there was this machine on top of my head with some lights. After I lay down, I could see the doctor using something (maybe it was a tweezer) to lift something from my eye (the flap maybe?), but I couldnt feel anything at all. Then he used this small mini white sponge thing to clean my eye (also didnt feel anything). After that, he positioned my head and told me to stare at a green light. Then he positioned my eye and stuck this sticky tape on my eye lids so they dont close. All this while, he told me to follow the green light so I just kept looking at the green light. After that, he said the green light will switch to red light, and it did, and told me to keep staring at it. Then he said the red light will disappear, and I will hear some noise and smell something, which is fine, but just keep staring at the place where the red light was and do not move. So I did. When the red light disappeared, I heard the "errrnng" laser sound and smelt something burning and the nurse counting down from 15 seconds but I just focused staring at that spot where the red light used to be and focused on my breathing so as not to move. After that, it was done. Then switch eye, same thing. Then done. Hahaha! Super fast.

After that, they brought me back to the relaxing chair for me to lie down and rest. Gave some water and explained to me all the eye drops. Then the doctor checked my eye again and told me to go home and rest. My eyes felt a little dry, but they said once the numbing solutions wears off, I'll start tearing excessively. Also, he said I should go home immediately, take the sleeping pill he described and sleep cuz once the numbing solution wears off, I'll feel a bit discomfort (there is an open would on my eye after all).

Cabbed back to utown with C immediately after that and put my eye drops. Took another sleeping pill, and thats when I could feel my eyes starting to tear. Put on the surgical eye lids that was provided and then the sleeping med kicked in and I went to sleep after that so I didnt feel a thing :) C woke me at about 9pm with dinner that he packed from downstairs. Ate, put eye drops, then slept again till this morning. When I woke up, my vision was a little blury/hazy (it still is), but it is supposedly normal.

Post-op consultation 1

There are 3 post-op consultations, at day 1, week 1 and month 1. I went back at 3pm today for the first post-op consultation. They checked my eye power again, but they said it is not very accurate since my eyes havent settled. Then the doctor took a look at my cornea and said it is too dry and I need to put eye drops. He said its probably because I slept so much and didnt put enough eye drops! I'm supposed to put a drop of each of the 3 eye drops every hour when I'm awake, but obviously, I wasnt awake very much :P

So yup. I have to continue putting eye drops for the next 1 week, and then after that it will just be eye lubricants. My eye condition should stabilise after that. In 2-4 months (depending on individuals), it will go back to my original baseline (my eye condition before surgery, but without the myopia), aka. no more blury/hazy vision, night vision will improve..etc.

Oh, and one thing he kept mentioning was that lasik cannot correct the eyes better than the baseline. Currently, all of us experience some form of poor night vision (eg. when we stare at a light in the dark, we already see some halo or sparkles..etc), this effect might get pronounced after lasik, and it will worsen, plateau off, and go back to the original night vision. Hence, it wouldnt completely cause the halo/sparkles to go away because you already have it originally!

Okay, damn long post. I hope this explains everything.

The only part during the surgery that "hurt"/felt uncomfortable was during the pressure part when they created the flap. Post-op, I think its supposed to "hurt"/ feel uncomfortable when the numbing solution wears off but I was sleeping so I didnt feel a thing. When I woke up, everything felt normal :)

So yea, for those of you still considering, go do it already!!

Go to Shinagawa Lasik Centre and look for Dr Lee.

I know the Paragon one is quite famous but alot of people whom I know did lasik told me not to go there, so yea, your choice :P Lasik is not for everyone, it depends alot on your cornea and stuff yup!

Edit - Updates

Post-op consultation 2
This consultation was really fast. They checked my eyes again and told me that I have 6/6 vision on both eyes with 25 astig on one eye. Eyes looked good, so Dr Lee reduced the dosage for my eye drops. All is great :)

Post-op consultation 3
Didnt sleep much the previous night, and Dr Lee said there were several dry spots on my eye. Bad bad bad!! :( Dry eyes are the #1 reason for regression of eyesight :( He prescribed me this gel thing that I'm supposed to use on my eye 4 times a day. I havent been very diligently using it, mainly cuz the first few times I used it, it stung abit and made my eyes turn red :X Anyway, this is supposed to be the last post-op consultation, but cuz my eyes are dry, Dr Lee told me to come back again 2 months later. Boo :(

Thats me post-lasik, no contacts -- perfect vision!! :D

rambling thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 10:05:00 +0000

I was gonna blog, but then I got distracted by the ads at the side and wasted 30min there. Hahaha.
And then I alt-tab-ed to my email and got distracted by the email, one of which was a facebook notification, and then proceeded to spend another 30min on Facebook.

Zzz. distractions.

Anyhow, school has been good. The last time I blogged was like, 20days ago? Haha. Lots of stuff happened since then, and I'm really happy coz I see myself growing and maturing.

Recess week went by in the blink of an eye. I spent most of the week working (real work working and school work working). I'm glad that I cleared a lot of work during recess week, which is why I'm pretty relaxed now despite it being mid term period. Haha.

Got a midterm tomorrow morning, then a mid-term presentation on Fri and a mid-term quiz immediately after that. 54 days till the end of final exams and I still cant file for graduation cuz my NOC results are not in the system yet. Zzz.

On a slightly different note, recent happenings have got me to start thinking about moving to Cal for real after graduation/ Chinese New Year. Suddenly the idea doesnt seem so bad after all. Maybe its part of the whole growing up and maturing thing. Or maybe, I'm just sick of people and things.

Oh, and this week, I got wedding spammed. Its kinda scary that we're now at the age that marriage is "acceptable", and the first reaction for a wedding announcement is no longer "shotgun ah?". The counts of couples who are getting engaged/married/queuing for flats is rising so fast. And I guess its one of the things that has prompted my thoughts above. Recess week was a nice quiet time alone for me to think.

Maybe I really should take some time off for myself to figure it all out. But Noc seems to disagree :P

Ok, enough rambling. Shall blog about my lasik surgery in the next post!

confessions

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 07:18:00 +0000

I admit.

I admit that I've never been a good girlfriend. I'm too headstrong. I'm stubborn. I'm clingy and easily jealous. I'm emotionally dependent. And I always want to be right.

But this time, I really tried.

You'd think that having your heart broken so many times, it'd get easier... but it doesnt.

Yet, I know that life goes on. And I still cling on to that little bit of hope, because its just easier this way.

Sometimes I wonder, who is going to remember me when I die? Do the people that I care about, care about me the same way as I do for them?

There are so many things I wish I was. Thinner. Prettier. More emotionally independent.

But I know that some things cant be forced. I've been there.

And I know you're not me. You dont settle.

I do.

I just want to be happy. It's so stupid but I just want to be happy.

I just want to be happy :(

ode

noreply@blogger.com (Christina Ng) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:00:00 +0000

I know, I know. I havent blogged for ages!

Somehow, I've lost the momentum to keep this going. Its the 7th year on this blog, and many more years before that. Am thinking that maybe its time to move on. Whoever reads through my archives is going to know everything about me, or perhaps even more so than I do myself.

So yea, I came back, I moved into University Town NUS - Tembusu College. I joined orientation. School started. Life goes on. It feels so.. surreal. In exactly 3 months + 1 day, I'll be taking my last exam paper in NUS, bidding goodbye to my life as a student. *gasp* A totally new chapter of life, and it really is hard to accept.

Somehow, I just feel like scurrying back into the warm comfort zone I call school. But yet, school feels so foreign.

Been meeting up with friends, and topics of conversations have been revolving around NOC, Final Sem, First job & salary, as well as queuing for flats. When did life begin to have so many problems and choices? Maybe now I know why they say being a student is the best time of one's life. No worries, just study.. though I must say, mugging sucks.

My philosophy this semester is to chillax. Enjoy learning like I have never done before. Focus on the content, and not the results. So far, I've been somewhat enjoying most of my lessons, which I guess is a good sign.

The great unknown comes nearer and nearer each day. What does the future hold?

So many things have happened. Time just flew by. Everything seems to be moving way too fast. In retrospect, everything just came back a full circle.

I wish I am as courageous or independent as I seem to be. I wish I really didnt care as much as I say I dont. I wish I had a pensieve so I can just deposit all the silver strands of memory into a basin and relive the moments whenever I want. But maybe that is not exactly the wisest thing to do.

I really should be looking forward and embracing the future, whatever that may be.

Karma bites.

The uncertainty is scary.

Nonetheless, I do have Taiwan trip with Penny to look forward to in Jan though. May that new year trip be the start of my new chapter in life. May I find the strength to do the right thing and find my true happiness.

At times like this, it just somehow strikes me that I should be in Church, because it always gives me this weird sense of calmness and peace. And no, I'm not Christian.