While I don’t think the nose wiping/handshake moment was really noseworthy, it does make me wonder what the woman who shook his infested hand was thinking. She had to be following his approach with her eyes while waiting for the chance to offer her support, so must have witnessed the nose wiping, yet she still accepted his hand when it was offered.  Is there a right way to respond to such an unpleasant offering?  “Nose sir! Not today?”

I watched an old clip of a spectacularly well known Toronto politician greeting a woman in the crowd. He wiped his finger back and forth under his nose…then shook her hand. Nooooooo! Gross? Yes.  Spreading a worldwide, catastrophic plague? Possibly.   Insight into his character? Hmmm. Does he think his bodily functions are nectar from the gods? It is NOT OK. Not in a politician, not for anyone. Yuk! NEVER!

Trish:

Well the camera person filming that exchange sure had a nose for the news!  Of course the politician’s nose wiping/handshake was definitely rude, gross, and in extremely poor taste, but is this news? Is this really something we need to see? If it is a live taping, they have little choice, but to later re-air this clip, unedited, give me a break! is nose news really good news?

First of all, this man or woman is a person who was raised by human parents and will not attack unless you threaten his life. Unlikely in an interview. The key to getting along is to be yourself; and treat her like a real person.

That means small talk with a little kick to start. Here are some ways to do this: Show Empathy: “It must be hard to recruit students all day and answer so many questions.”

Ask for an Opinion: “What do you think of the direction RIM Corporation is taking this year? (You MUST have some information about the company to use this question.)

Show interest in the recruiter’s personal experience: “How long have you been with the company? How did you get involved in…? What brought you to…?”

Actually, we ask these kinds of questions all the time when we are having a social conversation. The business version is just a little more limited in topics.

-       A long time ago, you had to be very careful when meeting a new person – He might be an enemy, waiting to hurt you. So, you’d grab his hand; check if he was holding a weapon, a rock or a knife. If his hand was empty, you were friends. That’s how we started shaking hands when we meet someone.

DEMONSTRATION OF HOW TO SHAKE HANDS:

This is what you do. It may seem simple, but you have to get it just right.

Hold out your right hand, even if you are left-handed. The other person will do the same automatically. It works nearly every time! Don’t hold out your hand too soon or you will seem nervous. If you wait too long, you will seem unfriendly. Then you fit your hand to theirs – not too loose, not too tight. Don’t hold your fingers loose and limp, and don’t just take your fingers into your hand. Hold their entire hand, fingers and palm all the way to where you thumbs meet and cross over each other. Then squeeze firmly, not too hard, and shake once or twice.

And for the finale, just in case the little ones are getting overly excited about their new handshake, share this with them:

Remember that having good manners means that you NEVER CORRECT SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE GOOD MANNERS. It will embarrass them and make them feel badly. Just stay silent and hope they will copy you.

When you have them riveted on the idea of a handshake, you can fine tune their handshake in a fun way. Try this demonstration using creative props e.g. a rubber glove filled with a bit of water and tied at the end; a big salad fork; a big ski glove or a work glove. If you happen to have Halloween items such as a monster hand, skeleton hand, or an alien hand, so much the better.

Here is the banter:

When you shake hands with someone, you’ll know if it’s a good handshake or a bad one. There are some wrong ways to shake hands. You’ll understand better if we act these out.

-       When you shake hands with a limp hand, it’s like holding a wet rubber glove (or slimy skeleton hand) –YUK!

-       When you shake hands with someone who is crushing your hand, it’s like shaking a monster’s hand – OUCH!

-       When you shake hands with just the fingers of someone’s hand, (salad fork tip) it feels WEIRD!

MOTION / DURATION

Shaking hands with a really strong up and down movement feels uncomfortable, be so don’t distract the person you are meeting by shaking too much. 2 or 3 smooth up and downs are plenty. Then let go. The range of motion up and down is 2 or 3 inches. If you don’t shake your hand enough, it seems like you don’t care.

SECOND HANDSHAKE

Shaking hands when you meet is great, but a goodbye handshake is very nice too. Even if the conversation has been awkward or confrontational, a second handshake can tell the person that you still like them.

You sweat through your exams, drink vats of coffee at all-nighters and cram your brain full of facts. You’re on your way to earning your degree. Your mind drifts to dreams of your own apartment, a car, food on the table, the occasional party – bring it on!

But first things first – You need a job!! So when you see a little flyer or e-mail announcing a reception, luncheon or career day for job recruiters and students, jump right in. Of course not all experiences at these events are great – some people have disasters. Some students go to employer events without much thought. With a little preparation and some handy tips, you can make the most of this type of event

What are your goals for employer events?

• to find out more about a particular area that interests you
• to find out what it’s like to work in different environments
• to find out what makes one company different than another

But it’s hard to do this unless you talk to recruiters.

Does the thought of talking to a recruiter about your career makes you nauseous?

Everyone worries about the same thing.

• We worry that: I’ll say the wrong thing and embarrass myself
• We are here to help you feel more comfortable.
• Compared to job interviews, recruiting events have very little downside.
• Recruiters are at these events to sell their firm to YOU.
• They love to give advice about different areas and different firms.

BUT: Although they are not actual interviews, these events are business environments and you should treat them as such.

• Your professionalism is on display.
• Get into the habit of making a great first impression.

If you want your child to have an easier time getting along with classmates and teachers, a little etiquette will accomplish amazing results. It sets the bedrock of empathy, appreciation and acceptance. The positive attention your son or daughter gives to others will become a habit that lasts a lifetime.

Now, I truly doubt that your children will be nagging you to learn etiquette!

You: OK kids, you’ve been bugging me for weeks and the big day is here! Let’s finally learn some etiquette!

Children: Yaaaaay!

If this is a conversation that would NEVER happen at your house, you are with good company. The best way to get your child’s attention is to notice what he talks about when he describes a social situation; Then give him some tools to help.

Here’s a light-hearted script of how it might go:

You: Do you feel a bit nervous in new situations? Like the first day of school?

Child: Yes, I barfed in the car.

You: What does it feel like when you are  nervous? (the list might include blushing, feeling sick to your stomach, sweaty palms, dry mouth etc.)

Child: I guess I was nervous.

You: We all get these feelings. Why do we feel this way?

Possible answers – We don’t want to be embarrassed. We want to say and do the right thing and fit in.

How do manners help? Manners give you  tips that you can use in new or awkward situations. They make sense. They smooth out all the little tense moments you run into – like saying hello, goodbye or talking to others. You don’t have to figure out what to do and say all the time. You just think of your manners.

Child: I sure would like a friend. Tell me more, wise parent. What a fantastic Mom you are!!!

Drop this conversation at the right place and time – timing can be crucial – and you will get through. They do want to know how to get along and you are the person to help them!