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Blog Etiquette

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:27:37 GMT

I wrote this post a while ago, and as I reread it in anticipation of posting it, I sensed an in-your-face tone. Sorry about that. Maybe it was my attempt to be funny while writing this. I’m not sure. But I do want to share some of what I’ve learned over the last year and a half of blogging.

1. Don’t be afraid to follow a blog with only a few followers.
I’m not afraid to follow a blog that has only four followers. If I like the writing, the content, and the style, I will follow the blog. I don’t need a bandwagon to jump on. I saw this with my own blog. For a long while, I hovered at fifty-some-odd followers, and I was proud of that, so I made sure that the numbers were displayed on my home page. That may have been a mistake. I’d get views, but no new followers. Then, Freshly Pressed happened and suddenly my followers (and views) exploded. I was grateful for this. But it seemed that once people started following me and the numbers grew a little, nobody felt afraid to push that looming “Follow” button. It wasn’t uncool anymore because, hey, hundreds of others were doing it. If your friends were jumping off a cliff, would you jump off a cliff too? (I know I sound like a parent, but I just couldn’t resist.)

2. Be considerate when commenting.
Be polite and considerate when commenting. I’ve never had an overt problem with this. It’s been a pleasant surprise to me on WordPress and in the world of blogging. A few years ago, I tried a citizen journalist site in which many articles that I posted were met with criticism, derision, epithets, and sarcasm. Needless to say, I quit that pretty quickly. Along these lines, when commenting, do not post links to your own blog! It’s uber annoying. I can’t stress this enough. And although there have been a few of these that I’ve let slide because the way in which it was done was tactful and tasteful, most of the time I feel annoyed.

Here’s an example. A woman visited my blog, commented on one page, and then left. But no. That was not all. She came back. Twice. And kept pasting links to her posts, saying, “ I see that you are interested in _____. I wrote about that. Here’s a link to my post on it.” Or, “I wrote a poem about _____ and I can tell you would like it. Here’s a link to my post on it.” I did not click on either link, nor did I approve her comments. They were asinine, pushy, and full of assumption. What makes you think that I want to read your poem? I’ll read it if I want to read it. I’ll read it if I come across it while blog surfing. Otherwise, back off!

3. Like as many blog posts as you want, but be prepared to follow the blog, too.
There’s an interesting post about liking blogs that I came across on Freshly Pressed last year. I’m not sure if I agree with all of the author’s ideas. She claims that you should comment if you really liked it, and that liking a blog is tantamount to just pushing a button in order to get somebody to notice you and follow your blog. I take offense to that because I have actually read the posts that I like and I genuinely like them, and sometimes I just don’t have anything extra or intelligent to add to the conversation.

My pet peeve with liking is the random person who likes posts every few weeks, but never bothers to become a follower. In that case, I sense some sort of game being played with trying to get noticed or to get me to follow their blog. I don’t mind this, if it’s a good blog.

4. As a blogger, respond to your comments!
We all know this one. It’s touted by everyone as the way to become successful. Success aside, I am touting it as a way to have meaningful conversations on a blog. I mean, that’s why I started my blog. I wanted to actually interact with people on the subject of books. It’s fun. It’s fulfilling. It’s part of blogging.

Maybe I’m too critical, but I get annoyed when a blogger doesn’t respond to my comments. I’ve noticed this with a few blogs. One blogger used to be on top of this, but has since seemed to have lost interest. I have no idea what this blogger’s life is like, and perhaps something major is going on, but I sense this distance, and the blog isn’t as fun to follow anymore.

Additionally, when bloggers claim that they cannot respond to every comment after being Freshly Pressed, I only see them admitting that they have no interest in their followers. Freshly Pressed is where it’s at. It’s what gets you connected with your new virtual “friends.” It is the way to connect with hundreds and thousands of people through the written word. I think bloggers should respond to each and every comment. It is a lot of work, but, for me, it has been worth it because I ended up building relationships. No excuses. Just do it.

5. Don’t steal images.
I was guilty of this when I first began blogging, but I have changed my ways and gone through each post to make sure that my images are used correctly. I realized my error by reading this post written by a blogger who was sued for using copyrighted images. Yes. She. Was. SUED! That was enough to scare me straight.

But think about it. Would you want somebody copying and pasting your words and putting those on their blog? No. I didn’t think so. So take your own pictures, or use images in the public domain. There are also plenty of images that others share on Wikimedia Commons. The post I mentioned above has other good ideas. I liked her suggestion to just start taking your own pictures and filing them away for future use.

Source: emilyjanuary.wordpress

Neighborhood Etiquette; New Mission Mural; Bernal Heights' Gold Rush; More!

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:09:02 GMT

Neighborhood Etiquette; New Mission Mural; Bernal Heights' Gold Rush; More!.

Source: sf.curbed

Airplane Etiquette

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:27:28 GMT

You have booked that exciting backpacking trip and it’s finally time to board the airplane. After check-in, all the security checks and waiting you arrived at your home for the next 24 hours (if you’re really unlucky, it might be even longer!). Most people are dreading a long-distance flight because they always hear ‘horror’ stories about it, from non-stop screaming babies, to people deciding that’s the perfect time to let their not-so-great-smelling feet breathe. Here’s a list with some guidelines on how to behave properly during a flight, to make it as pleasant as possible for everyone:

Before taking your seat, make sure that you grab everything out of your carry-on that you need. It’s quite annoying if the person at the window seat all of a sudden remembers that he or she “forgot about their mp3 player”.

Make sure that you put your carry-on bags in the overhead compartments neatly so your neighbors don’t have any trouble putting their luggage in there. This prevents luggage from falling down when opening the compartment and also prevents huge ‘traffic jams’ of people in the aisle, waiting for one person to stuff their bag in there.

When seated, take the time to talk to your neighbor(s) for a minute. This will give you a quick impression on what they’re like and you never know, you might find out an interesting story. You’ll quickly find out if you have a new best friend sitting next to you, or just a person you hope you can avoid the entire flight. It’s ok to let your neighbors know if you’d like to be left alone during the flight.

If you’re unfortunate enough that you have a ‘big talker’ as a neighbor, you can just state; “I’m sorry, you have an incredibly interesting story, but now I would like to focus on “. Be clear, but friendly!

There’s always the crying baby on board. It’s quite annoying if you’re trying to sleep, but there’s not much you can do about this, so make sure you have some earplugs or headphones to turn up the music. Don’t forget, there’s not much the parents can do about this and let’s be honest, it’s kind of cool that the parents still travel after they had kids. I’m sure we all want that in the future!

Don’t take too much space. We’re all in this together and of course we want to be comfortable, but this shouldn’t be at the expense of someone elses comfort. Part of this is also that you should always be wearing shoes, or at least something which covers your feet. Nobody paid for this flight to enjoy your smelly feet.

If you have the window seat and during the night you decide it’s time to use the lavatory while your neighbors are sleeping, don’t just climb over them, that never works! You also wouldn’t like to wake up with a stranger in an awkward position trying to climb over you. If you really have to go, it’s even better to just gently waking up the person(s) and ask if you can pass.

When you used the toilet, make sure that you clean everything up after yourself. You wouldn’t like finding a surprise at the lavatory, so why would your fellow passenger?!

Always listen to the flight attendants, they’re doing their job. They have experience and therefore know what they’re doing. So if they ask you to put your seat in the upright position, your table back to where it belongs and put your seat belt on, listen!

If you’d like to recline your seat, do it gently. There’s nothing worse than enjoying a breakfast with a nice orange juice just before someone decides it’s time to ‘lay down’, resulting in you asking for heaps of napkins to clear clothes from the nice breakfast you were enjoying so much.

Upon leaving the aircraft, be patient. You don’t want to be that guy that bumps into everyone, just because “you can’t wait”. Relax! Your adventure only just started, those five minutes won’t make a difference. And remember, you should behave the same way that you expect others to behave!

Source: nomadsworld

Gym etiquette dos and don’ts

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 10:53:25 GMT

A few too many run-ins with loud talkers taking a leisurely stroll on the treadmill inspired fed-up gymgoer and Manhattan attorney Lori Pines to write The Little Book of Gym Etiquette: A Handbook for Dealing with Annoying People at the Gym. “I’d be on the treadmill, and look around and notice all these things,” says Pines, goes to the gym most days a week. “It’s kind of funny, but there’s a serious message there. I thought I had to write it all down. I was seeing these violations and they started to fall into categories.”

Pines pokes fun at some of the worst offenders: the slobs, hogs, space invaders, super-talkers, grouches and exhibitionists. Giving them nicknames helps, she says — it’s key to keep your sense of humour. After all, “you want to go to the gym to relieve your stress,” she says. The most common bad behaviour, she says, is “real messiness, total slobs. Water bottles, crumpled towels and reading materials on the machine. It’s a disgusting thing to do.”

Other pet peeves include people who are really messy, hog machines or disturb others by talking on their phone, grunting or dropping their equipment. “I also don’t like when people are selfish when sharing a locker room bench. People just have to acknowledge and apologize, and move their stuff.”Pines notes that she’s likely guilty of this gym infraction, always fearing that she’s left her bag in someone’s way. “Now I’m really aware. I’m the one that wrote the book. I can’t leave my water bottle there.”

Pines says all fitness fanatics should follow the “3 Cs”: be clean, considerate and cheerful. And if someone’s sloppy workout is interfering with your exercise routine, Pine suggests bringing in help. “I think if you see something awful is going on and you can walk away, walk away. Don’t deal with it directly. Talk to the gym manager.”

Pines finally spoke up after a woman tried to hold machines at the gym by leaving her sneakers. “This just wasn’t right,” she says, noting the machines were in scarce supply. “You can’t just put your sneakers there beside it and go off for 15 minutes and think that it’s saved.”What it really boils down to, she says, is elementary school lessons. “Share your toys. It really goes back to that. It really just doesn’t take much.”

Source: thestar

The Etiquette For Writing Wedding Invitations

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 09:54:47 GMT

Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful but fulfilling event in a person's life. While you are considering which venue your wedding reception should be held, you should also consider wedding etiquette along the preparations to avoid seeing raised eyebrows and hearing snide remarks from your wedding guests.

Since a wedding won't start without invited guests, you should learn the wedding etiquette on invitations' name order. Yeah, you might say, do I still need to bother with wedding etiquette on invitations' name order when I need to accomplish more pressing matters such as how should my wedding party be celebrated?

I hate to say this, but you should give your wedding invitation a great deal of time. It is the very first thing that guests would see before the wedding itself and it may be the cause of not so nice confrontation with relatives who believe in traditional way of celebrating wedding ,which includes old fashioned wedding etiquette and even invitations' name order.

Don't be a hard head on this matter. Even if you claim you are the bride of the new millenia, pay for your own wedding, and know how to arrange your own wedding without the help of your old fashioned relatives, you still need to consider the feelings of an old grandmother, or an ailing aunt who wants to have some billing on your wedding invitation. All you have to do is to learn the basis wedding etiquette and invitations' name order. This way, you will be headache free from demanding but loveable relatives.

Source: articlesbase

Food Truck Etiquette

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 08:09:00 GMT

Food trucks are the newest urban dining trend. They are everywhere these days, in business districts and neighborhoods, in front of art show openings and concerts, at farmers markets, and in parks and parking lots for regularly scheduled food-truck nights. Food-truck grazing is a great, casual, and often inexpensive way to dine, but it's not a free-for-all. Food-truck vendors are small business owners, and following certain rules when patronizing them makes everybody's experience more enjoyable.

The experts weigh in:
"Waiting in line is part of the food truck experience, so refrain from holding places for others."--Pat S. Kilduff, former director of marketing and external affairs at Fort Mason Center in San Francisco, where trucks gather in the parking lot each Friday night

"It's annoying when people buy items from other trucks then come to ours for utensils and condiments. It's the equivalent of walking into a Mexican restaurant with tacos from somewhere else and asking to use their salsa." --Bobby Hossain, owner of the food truck Phat Thai in San Francisco (phatthaisf.com)

More tips on how to get the most from the food-truck experience:
1.   Follow social media for the location, time of operation, and quality of specific trucks. Everyone has an opinion on Yelp and other foodie websites.

2.   If you have a favorite food truck, be sure and show up when the doors open or you might have to dine elsewhere. Supplies are limited in such limited space.

3.   Bring cash in small bills and change. Have your money ready so you don't hold up the line.

4.   Know what you want ahead of time so as not to keep others waiting.

5.   Consider using email to preorder food, especially for lunch.

Source: huffingtonpost

Suzanne Perez Tobias: Whatever happened to audience etiquette? By Suzanne Perez Tobias

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 11:01:40 GMT

Since then, I attended an orchestra concert at my daughter’s high school that proved some additional education clearly needs to happen: A crash course in audience etiquette. That concert, an evening performance in a beautiful, comfortable, recently renovated auditorium, was intended to showcase the talents of two schools’ orchestra departments.

During it, I saw members of the audience – adults, mostly – talking, playing games on brightly lit smartphones, getting up while the orchestra was playing, loudly slamming doors at the back of the auditorium, taking flash photos and failing to silence phones after repeated beeps, buzzes and obnoxious ringtones.

One orchestra director said a recording of the performance, filmed from the balcony and intended to preserve some solos for academic purposes, was “unusable” because of all the chatter and other noise.

When did this become OK?
The answer, of course: It isn’t. Anyone who has been to a movie theater or attended a concert or other live performance recently will tell you that common courtesy and audience behavior isn’t what it used to be. At times, in fact, it seems almost hopeless.

How can youngsters learn appropriate concert behavior when their role models – moms, dads and other adults – are behaving so poorly and disrespectfully?

Several years ago, I took my two children to a matinee show at a local movie theater. As we waited for the curtain to rise, a couple with three elementary-age boys entered the theater and took their seats – the two adults toward the front of the auditorium and the boys more than a dozen rows back, a few seats away from me.

At first I thought it odd that the couple would sit so far away from their kids, but assumed it was some kind of family tradition. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. As long as the youngsters behaved, I thought, no problem.

Unfortunately, they didn’t. Throughout the previews, the boys talked loudly, threw popcorn at one another and kicked the seats in front of them. The adults who had brought them were oblivious, not even turning their heads to check on the boys. When the movie started and the youngsters still hadn’t settled down, I spoke up.

“Excuse me,” I said loud enough for the patrons around us to hear. “We’re trying to watch the movie, and I’d appreciate it if you would be quiet so we can enjoy it.”The boys’ eyes grew wide, their voices silent and their feet still. It’s amazing what a little friendly reminder can do.

I didn’t offer similar reminders at the recent music performance, save a few pointed glares. But chatting with a few parents afterward and with other Wichitans via social media, I’m clearly not alone in my frustration.

“It’s just infuriating,” a teacher friend said. “Not only are the ‘adults’ being horribly rude to all those who’ve worked so hard and to the other audience members, they’re setting a terrible example for the little ones around them.

“If you can’t go an hour or two (without) playing on your phone, just stay home.”I realize school concerts are a bit different than professional events such as the Wichita Symphony Orchestra or Music Theatre of Wichita. There are likely to be parents recording the performance, younger siblings who get restless, babies who cry, or families who need to leave quickly for one reason or another.

I also realize my children’s behavior isn’t perfect. Jack brought a handheld video game to pass the time before the concert – his sister had to be there 45 minutes early – and I had to remind him to turn it off when the house lights dimmed.

But generally, it seems that audience etiquette and respect for others is a rare commodity. “I don’t think all of these people are purposely being rude,” a friend said afterward on Facebook. “I really think they are … oblivious of proper etiquette.”Maybe so. Which is why I believe in friendly reminders.

Source: kansas

Modern Etiquette: Try not to be tardy with those RSVPs

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 18:01:15 GMT

(Reuters) - A few days ago I attended my aunt's 50th birthday party. It was a terrific bash-her friends and family were there in suits and cocktail dresses for a night of dinner and dancing. My uncle went all-out on the evening, and had mailed invitations well over a month in advance, giving until the week before the party to reply.

Confession of an all-too-human etiquette expert: He got my reply on the day it was due-and only after my mom thankfully dropped me a reminder. I had found myself in a position that many well-intentioned people do: They know whether or not they can attend, and think-"Great! I'll let the host know."

What they fail to do is go immediately to the phone or computer (or in the case of a wedding, the mailbox) and do so. Maybe they can't at that moment, and then forget. Maybe they need to check with a spouse first, or arrange for childcare. My point is that many of us are well intentioned, and yet our intentions don't count for much when we don't follow through.

This is why failure to respond to invitations is so annoying to so many. Without our follow through, there is no way for the host to intuit our answer, and all the while they need to know their final numbers for planning purposes.

And this is to say nothing of the hurt many hosts feel when they go to the effort of arranging an event only to be met with silence. Failure to RSVP (French for répondez s'il vous plaît, or "please reply") is one of the biggest etiquette complaints I hear about, and the one that is often accompanied by the most frustration.

Whether the event is a children's birthday party or a wedding, hosts are often left to hound guests for an answer or else assume that the guest in question won't be coming. In fact, most wedding invitations today reflect a recent change in etiquette that was made to encourage replies.

It used to be that a guest would use his or her own personal stationery to pen a very formal, third person reply to a wedding invitation: "Ms. Anna Post accepts with pleasure your kind invitation?"

But as failure to reply grew several decades ago, hosts decided to make responding foolproof by including a small reply card with its own stamped and addressed envelope. Rather like notes that grade school children pass to one another, these reply cards have a simple line for the guest's name and box to check "will attend with pleasure" or "declines with regret."

How easy is that?

And yet I still hear from many brides that they need to chase down errant guests. It's not the method of reply that matters; it's us. So I present you with this challenge: follow through. Start with invitations. If you need help remembering to reply, set a reminder on your phone, put a sticky note on your mirror, or keep the invitation in a prominent place where you won't forget or lose it.

If you need to check your calendar first, reply to email or text invitations immediately with a messaging saying just that-and add a "Thanks for thinking of me/us!" for good measure.

The world did not come close to ending because I gave my reply to my uncle the day it was due. But I did run the risk of suggesting that I didn't think much of the effort he was making, or worse, that I was holding out for a better offer. While that was far from my intention, the whole point of etiquette is to help us build and maintain good relationships with others.

RSVPs encapsulate this idea: we can lag behind, we can come in on par, or we can go above and beyond. Think of this one task-RSVPing to invitations before they are due-as the gateway to other opportunities to show our respect and appreciation for others.

Source: in.reuters

Ex-etiquette: Do not use romance as reason to tell ex that he's a dad

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 11:05:53 GMT

Q: I've recently struck up a friendship with a guy I lived with five years ago. I left when I was pregnant and never told him. Our son is now 4 and after recently seeing my ex I'm thinking I should tell him that Randy is his son. At our last meeting, things got sort of flirty again and I'm thinking now might be good time to get his attention. What's good ex-etiquette?

A: There are so many red flags here; I'm not sure where to start. The most obvious - the bad decision of having a child and not telling the father that it is his. I always have to mention a disclaimer when I make a statement like that because if I don't I'll get a barrage of letters citing examples of when it was the right decision. Most of the time, it's an incredibly selfish act to keep that kind of information to yourself - and the worst ex-etiquette possible. Yes, it was your decision to go forward with the pregnancy, but a father deserves to know and a child has a right to have both of his parents in his life. So my answer now is to tell him as soon as possible - and potential romance should not be the catalyst to break this kind of news.You should have told the father as soon as you found out you were pregnant - even if you knew he wouldn't want the child.

Although I advocate getting along after divorce for the sake of the kids, that doesn't mean everyone should get back together. Memories are in your heart and marked by the fact that you had children together. Once you've broken up, your responsibility to each other as partners ends, but not as parents. If no one has moved on, then attempting reconciliation is between the two of you, but you must consider that there are consequences if you reach out romantically to an ex. Another break-up may make co-parenting impossible and that will affect your child - a child who has already suffered one break-up. Two would be devastating.

In your case, your child doesn't know his father, and frankly, your attitude sounds quite frivolous, and needs to be checked. Before you tell your child or his father, take note of how serious a decision this really is. Once your son knows, there is no going back.

Finally, Ex Etiquette rule No. 8 is, "Be honest and straight forward." That's the same advice I would have given you five years ago.

Source: newsobserver

Restaurant Etiquette: Breaking Up Is A No-No, But What About Texting?

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 09:40:08 GMT

The results of our Valentine's Day survey were crystal clear: breaking up at a restaurant is a complete no-no, with 92% of people saying that it's never acceptable to dump someone over dinner. But, what about a behavior that makes people want to break up with someone, especially early on in dating? According to our last New York City Restaurants survey, 58% find the use of a mobile phone while dining inappropriate.

So is this a dating dealbreaker? In honor of Valentine's Day we decided to ask some experts for advice - Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz are the authors of recently published Flirtexting (yes, that's a thing). Check out a few of their phone etiquette tips below:

1. Keep Your Phone Off The Table
"Whether it’s a casual pizza joint or Daniel, it’s never okay to have your phone out on the table. The only exception is you may check your messages and quickly respond while you are on a bathroom break or if your date gets up from the table."

2. Responding to Every Text is a Dealbreaker
"We consider it rude to text on a date at the table, but we consider it a deal breaker when your date leaves his or her phone out on the table and responds every time a new text comes in. Also, blaming it on “work” is not an excuse to leave your phone out on the table."

3. Don't Judge a Person By Their Apps
What if you're dining and find that the person has an OkCupid/Grindr/Other Dating app on their phone? "Don’t judge a person by their cell phone apps. Dating apps have become immensely popular today so if your date happens to have one on their phone, it shouldn't be a surprise. Ask yourself what’s worse: finding a dating app or a flirty text message on your date’s phone?"

4. Save the Social Media Updates for Later In the Relationship
"We know lots of people who have big issues with posting pictures of their food. Unless you’re a food writer/critic, save the #foodpics for your fifth or sixth date when you’re more comfortable with one another."

Source: blog.zagat