If you plan to throw a dinner party this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget the place cards. Place cards serve a variety of purposes.

A host should never say to guests, “Just sit anywhere.” This puts the guests in an awkward position to choose their own seat. Place cards are used to avoid confusion and to help diners identify one another. Your guests will be more comfortable if they know where to sit the moment they approach the table.

Place cards are used to separate close friends and couples. A well-thought out seating plan keeps the table conversation upbeat and stimulating and ensures that new friendships are created.

You can order place cards from a variety of stationers including MarthaStewart.com or Crane.com or you can make your own by cutting out rectangles from good card stock, approximately 3 ¼ by 2 inches.

Write (preferably in ink) your guests’ first names on the place cards. If you have more than one guest with the same first name, include their first and last names on their cards. For an informal party of people who don’t know each other, it’s nice to put first and last names on the cards, so that people can learn their dinner companions’ names.

At a large, more formal dinner, it is correct to write last names only on the cards, such as Dr. Helmsley, Ms. Dunnahoe, and Mr. Jellen.

You can put place cards just above the dinner plate, above the dessert spoon and fork, on top or tucked into a fold on the napkin, or in a decorative place card holder.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, is there any room for text messaging in relationships? Yes…but be careful. In some instances, texting can lead to confusion and misinterpretation. Here are five ways to communicate with clarity:

Be courteous. Give your date or companion your full attention. Texting during dinner or during a conversation is just as bad as talking on your cell phone during a date. If you must text, warn your date ahead of time and keep it brief.

Be discreet. It’s best not to share bad news or break up with someone via a text message. Enough said.

Be flirty. It’s perfectly acceptable to flirt with someone via text – as long as the other person is comfortable receiving these types of texts. In other words, know the difference between being flirty and being dirty. If you flirt with each other in person, then a flirty message can be fun.

Be quick. If you need to send a quick note to someone, texting is a wonderful way to communicate, however, be mindful that some people prefer not to receive text messages. In that case, call them instead.

Be visual. Sending a picture or a short video is a great way for couples to connect on Valentine’s Day or any other day of the year. How nice would it be to receive a photo showing your sweetie blowing you a kiss or a video telling you he or she loves you?

Charm is a gorgeous and loving Golden Retriever with impeccable manners! A retired show dog, her handlers nicknamed her “Charming” because she exuded so much charm and grace in the show ring. She is owned by my friend and fellow etiquette expert, Sharon Schweitzer, J.D. PHR in Austin, Texas. Sharon and Charm both love my new book, POISED FOR SUCCESS!

Marian Wright Edelman once said, “I’m doing what I think I was put on this earth to do. And I’m really grateful to have something that I’m passionate about and that I think is profoundly important.”

I feel the same way. I get to wake up each day and do what I truly love to do. In my new book, POISED FOR SUCCESS, I devote an entire chapter (chapter 18) on Gratitude, Grace, and Acts of Kindness.

In this chapter I write, “My mother believed that being grateful is the secret to a successful life and career. She taught me that you must first find something you feel grateful for and then let yourself really feel it. Maybe you feel grateful that you have a wonderful job, that you work with people whom you like and admire, that you and your children are healthy and safe, or that you have a terrific marriage or partnership. Maybe you’re grateful for the support you receive from a close friend or colleague. Maybe you’re grateful that you have heat or air-conditioning in your home, a comfortable bed, and a pantry of food.”

What are you most grateful for in 2011? Let me know by leaving a comment below and you could win a copy of THE GIFT OF THANKS: The Roots and Rituals of Gratitude (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009) by Margaret Visser. In this beautifully-written book, valued at $27.00, Visser shows readers how saying “thank you” — in a word or deed — improves us and links us to what is most noble in human nature.

Hurry! The contest ends at 6pm Eastern time on Saturday, December 31, 2011. The winner will be randomly selected and notified by e-mail.

Bonus: You can double your chances of winning this book by tweeting: I entered @etiquetteexpert’s giveaway to win a copy of The Gift of Thanks: http://bit.ly/tcDvhI

Congratulations to Jenn Cooper for winning THE GIFT OF THANKS! Thank you to everyone who participated in this giveaway!

Mistletoe makes people pucker up, but there are times when it’s best to mind your mistletoe manners. Here are some important lip-locking laws to consider before getting near those innocent looking sprigs dangling in the foyer…

The office holiday party:

In general, kissing someone from work in public is ill-advised. Far too often, office holiday parties end in infamy for workers who let the egg nog take over. Try to keep your head on straight when you find yourself under the mistletoe with a co-worker.

If you are a woman caught under the mistletoe with your male coworker, take control and initiate the ever-so-safe “air kiss.” While shaking this person’s right hand, lean in close and gingerly touch his cheek with your cheek while making a soft smacking sound. You’ve now fulfilled the mistletoe mandate without starting any office rumors.

Men: consider offering a female co-worker the “hand kiss”, indicating respect. Don’t linger under the mistletoe any longer than necessary in order to avoid any further awkwardness.

Sharing a moment with your lover, spouse or partner:

When you find yourself under the mistletoe with your significant other, the “full lip lock kiss” is perfectly acceptable. According to folklore, a couple’s kiss under the mistletoe is interpreted as a promise to marry and a prediction of happiness and long life.

Encountering a relative under the mistletoe:

Bumping into a relative under the mistletoe can cause holiday etiquette confusion! Granted, you don’t want to kiss your creepy cousin on the lips, so your best bet is to give a gentle “cheek kiss,” symbolizing goodwill without being too mushy.

Personal space tip: Keep your hands on your relative’s shoulders – thus creating a comfortable distance. If you find yourself under the mistletoe with a small child, opt for the motherly “forehead kiss.”

Just friends:

The standard “cheek kiss” is most appropriate when standing under the mistletoe with a friend. However, if you’re feeling extra festive, consider the “corner to corner kiss” allowing the corner of your lips to just barely touch the corner of your friend’s lips. You may also choose to incorporate a light hug into the equation. But kissers beware, go too far and you’ll send mixed messages.

When you find yourself faced with a person who clearly wants to be more than just friends, be prepared to deflect the attempted ‘full lip lock kiss.’ Politely turn your face and offer the other cheek. Then offer to get your friend some hors d’oeuvres.

Meeting the neighbors:

Neighborhood parties often bring people together the most unlikely people. If you find that you and your neighbor are standing under the mistletoe, make the best of the situation. You can never go wrong with the old-fashioned handshake.

Handshaking tip: Always carry your drink in your left hand so your right hand is free for handshaking.

Meeting a stranger:

You could encounter that most awkward of mistletoe situations at a crowded party: the stranger. If you’re uncomfortable kissing a stranger, employ the obvious strategy by pretending you don’t notice the mistletoe and move away – after all, ignorance is bliss.

Alternatively, don your best blushing face, point out that you’re both standing under the mistletoe and say something flattering, like “Well, I just can’t resist.” In this situation, the “air kiss” is a perfect choice.

In most situations, remember this no-fail strategy:

Give the impression that you are cultured and refined and go for the European “two-cheek air kiss” — it’s a winner under the mistletoe, or anytime!

One of the four qualities that distinguish outstanding professionals is PRESENCE. On page 44 of my new book, POISED FOR SUCCESS, I recommend that all women should own at least one all-purpose handbag or tote.

This week I am hosting a giveaway with my friend, Kate Woodman, designer/owner of Sharp Hill Designs, a Connecticut-based company specializing in elegant accessories for women. One lucky winner will have the opportunity to win one of these four fabulous items.

Medallion Laptop/Tablet Sleeve, value $92.00

Sarah Tote, value $98.00

Safari Clutch, value $98.00

Diane Grainsack, value $185.00

GIVEAWAY TIME! There are four easy ways to enter:

1. Go to my Facebook fan page. Don’t have a Facebook account? That’s okay. Just enter by clicking here.

2. Tweet the following message on Twitter: I entered @etiquetteexpert ‘s #giveaway to win an elegant bag by @sharphilldesign! http://bit.ly/vFg07W

3. Comment below with your answer to this question: Which of these four items would you like to win and why?

4. Sign up for the Sharp Hill Designs e-newsletter. As a bonus, you’ll receive a 20% off coupon!

A winner will be randomly selected and notified by e-mail. This giveaway begins on Monday, December 12, 2011 and ends at midnight on Friday, December 16, 2011. Good luck!

Congratulations to Kirstin Foley for winning the bag of her choice. Thanks to all who participated!

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