et puis?

i'm eating all the cheesy rice

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:20:00 +0000

Is Odette my best friend? Maybemaybemaybe yesss. Do you have a best friend that goodlooking? probably not.

I have a big big comedy night planned for this eve (not performing, only appreciating). If I play my cards right I will get to enjoy about a billion of my favourite funny people.
3 events and maybe a couple of road-beers and everything will be right with the world. serioussssly.
What did I do with my time before comedy?
Oh yeah, just regular drinking.

How long until winter is over? I'm ready. I'm really, really ready. Though I'm still in love with walking and you know as soon as it's warm/dry enough to bike again I'll be all over that.

Oh, about the lace on the wall/chair in the last post, those are tablecloths I bought for Mrs. and Arrow's wedding on demand of Mrs. while I was in Saskatoon. So, jealous family, just take yrselves out to the Sally Ann by the value village (actually they had some at the value village, too) and get some. They had a bunch. They didn't look as nice in the store but on the wall that one especially is quite stunning.

I've tricked her into sleeping in here right now by having the space heater going. Nice.

Hard time of year, hey? Everyone seems sad and unmotivated. I'm medium. I have a sunny room right now and a soft cat so that's not bad. I want to help everyone to have the most fun. How can I get a job doing that?

look at this big lug! She gallops around the house so heavy-footed. gotta love it. gotta love it so much. Also, very soft.

eternal january

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:38:00 +0000

I cannot cannot get moving today. I just slept for 10 hours and I still feel exhausted. Hmmmm.
Maybe the amount of MSG I ingested yesterday? is that a thing?

It feels like it's been January forever. Anyone else?

The cats are warming up to me at least. Nice nice nice.
Well Odette at least. Both of them were sleeping in my room yesterday. Did I consider locking them in until they grew to love me? Well, obviously.

Shot a little movie yesterday and it was a pretty fun day. I like making things. We did some pretty nice work, I'd say.

Ughhh sooo so tired. obscenely.

pretty pretty pretty

here come the siameses!

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 20:28:00 +0000

my new cats are here!

this one is called Odette and she is the one I like. She has a nice sort of a sad face that is good. She's still mildly scared of me but I bet will be best buds soon enough.

this one is called Béa. She is not cuddly. Luckily she is very pretty.

They follow my roommate around (their papa) like he is their leader. It's pretty cute. Also he calls them "little mama" which is very funny to me.

Anyway, that's the big news in my life.

Also, I'm in a waaaayy better mood these days. I think partially to do with being more productive. I'm really happy with what I'm making and have a billion high hopes of what my future is going to be about.
Nice nice.

also I've been spending a lot of time at my favourite bars with my favourite people and getting locked in until 5 in the morning at my one favourite place with lots of babes and just talking and making jokes and drinking forever.
Aaaand Hoops. Who could forget Hoops?
I was in kind of a temper the other day and what made me feel so much better was watching the Canucks game (we actually just watched the game pretty much full-attention) with my bud at Hoops. Awww.
100 times awww.

typed on a new machine

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 20:33:00 +0000

I'm in a better mood!

uh ohhh uh oh I have a new computer that I'm in love with.
I'm learning how to edit videos! funnnnnnnn ohhh so fun oh so funn fun fun.

Also, I made some super good soup today. All I eat and like is soup.

I wanted cream of broccoli but not with cream because I've given up eating for new years. Just kidding, I'm eating sometimes.
But I want to eat less bad-for-me stuff and way less stuff and become super skinny like a model. Haaaaaa.
(the worst part about people on diets is all they ever do is talk about diets. it's because they're hungry!)

Anyway, soup is amazing because it's just cutting things up and putting them all in a pot and it's so easy to heat up later and is a one-pot meal.

I'm not one for instructions and measurements in my cooking really, but I'll tell you what I did for today's soup because it is VERY GOOD.

MOSTLY BROCCOLI SOUP

1 onion
all the broccoli you have (even the peeled cut stalks, obv.)
half a zucchini
some elderly mushrooms (haaa or any mushrooms)
2 potatoes
4 cloves of garlic
1/4 cup dry quinoa

lots of cumin
lots of italian seasoning mix
lots of salt
pepper
dried rosemary
(you can put whatever savory spices you have in here, pretty much! I did whatever I wanted at the moment.)
(also you can put other vegetables! I would have put peppers if I had any

cut up all the onion and put it in a big pot with a lot of butter (I don't know, 2 tbsp.?) and some olive oil and then cut every other vegetable up small-ish and put it all in there, too. It's good to kind of sautee the stuff, especially the mushrooms and potatoes maybe? it also doesn't really matter. that cooked for awhile I guess.
then I put the minced garlic in too and some water, like, enough water, ya know? Like so that it'll cook in the water. and then I put in all the spices and then I decided quinoa would be good so I put in the quinoa and more water and I then I just simmered it for awhile on very low. And then when everything was soft I put almost all of it in the blender. Fucking pureed that. But not all of it because I like a few chunks, but if you don't like chunks then blend everrrrrrything.

then cheddar cheese on top! Of course!

anyway.
WHY THIS SOUP IS SO GOOD.

it tastes like a good broccoli soup but has the added bonus of quinoa which is suuuper good for me. Also, the other vegetables give it a nice roundness, I think.

I'm so super tired! I keep staying up waaaay late for good reasons. Good reasons like important conversations or hanging out with the best buds.
Good reasons don't make me less tired right now!
Work tonight and then a couple days off, which should but nice and also filled with improv mostly. I'll never mind that.

all you need is happiness

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:46:00 +0000

I'm in pretty much the worst sort of mood right now.
I feel a barfy and wallowy about how much of a shit mood I'm in.
I'm not sure I have any sort of great reason. And it's not really like me these days.
(oh, also, before proceeding, I'd like to point out that everything is bottom-line fine.)

Not that it hasn't been like me in the past!
Man, remember when my college voice teacher told me, "you put your bad mood on everyone"?
That was a classic and true fucking statement. Good call, that guy.

Maybe it's the time of year catching up with me. It's usually late January that I start to feel pretty sad about things and want to hibernate... It wasn't as bad last year, mostly due to having the best friends (my bender gang was the most fun) and also my decision to be the kind of person who works hard to have fun. (and also, possibly, the lack of gluten in my diet, but that's a whole other entry.)

There's a bunch of stuff that's kind of getting to me today. And most of it could be cleared up with a few thousand dollars. I've no desire to be a real rich guy, but some money would sure make my life run smoother!
I am working a lot a lot this month, in a nice way, but I'm worried about next month and the month after. And also WORRIED ABOUT MY LIFE, IN GENERAL.

Yeah, it's not the money, it's that I'd like to find something to do with my time where:
I made money
I had a billion fun
I felt like there was a point to it.
(hahahahahhahahahhaahhaahahahahahhha ugh.)

Man, guys, if the only actual success in life is being happy.....
Which is something I've been thinking about more and more. This might be true to me. The ONLY success in life is being happy.
Hhhmm.

Also, I don't like getting my hopes up about things. I don't like having all my eggs in one basket unless it's the ultimate best basket. I don't like that at 28 there's still so much of the time where I'm dealing with other people being giant babies.
I mean this in several regards.

If the only success in life is being happy then I need:
Family (including partner if one so happens to become a part of my life)
Best Friends (I have this covered at least)
Baby (or several. maybe this should be included in family but it's separate still.)
Creative Outlet (acting, writing, comedy, art)
Kittens
Nice Place to Make a Home
Enough Money

Man, I'm totally leading a charmed life right now and I know I need to pipe down.
At least I'll go and walk Kaya soon and then walk to work in the rain and last night work made me feel better (super shock) so hopefully that'll happen again.

The only thing I'm not stressed out about today is my Second City conservatory classes. And my new improv team and my possible new sketch group. Ha. That's good!
I had a very fun show last night and I can feel that it's going to be possible (eventually) to get to the sort of confidence level/place that I am going to need.
I'm going to be very, very good.
And probably sooner than later. Which is nice.

Here's WayneJones being so pleased with himself. And I like it.

ah, Henry, let's set the date already!

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:19:00 +0000

Ever wonder if I would be a deliciously good-looking bride?

Everyone fussing around me!

oh yeah, I for sure made like I was engaged while we were at the wedding show on Sunday. I went with Mrs. and her future step-mother-in-law and a couple of our other friends and I thought, "hey, this would be more fun if it were about me"

HAHAA classic meredith.

I made up a lot of things about my fiancé, Henry. By the end I was pretty sure he sounded nice enough and we'd be happy together. The best was when thinking about all this on the way over I said, "can he be British?" and Mrs. heard "can he be frigid?" so we decided he'd be both!

He's also very particular, that Henry!

Got into a conversation with a guy who runs a DJ service about how my DJ friends would insist on doing the music for my wedding. He was a good sport about it.
I just about registered my wedding registry with The Bay because they'd give me a travel mug! Overwhelming!

I tried to gather some ideas to bring back for Violet, who is actually engaged (congratulations!!!!), but mostly it was all really pretty gaudy stuff...

I did think she needed these $1000 cakes though. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS?? ARE PEOPLE INSANE?
(sooo pretty!)

I like the flower one on the far left. Oh really, I like flowers? It's funny because in real life I never even notice flowers but flower-prints? Aw yeah, all up in that.

It was a terrible, terrible day to be allergic to gluten. So many cake samples. I would have eaten that up to bits... Ugh.

We watched the bridal fashion show and my favourite was the swimsuit wedding gear! (ughgughhh)
also, the grossest, most revealing line was by "Shkank"! How fitting! It was so, so unappealingly sexy. And all of the dresses featured removable skirts and overlays and stuff, so you could get more naked throughout your special day!!

Aaaanyway, I'm very excited for Violet's wedding because I will live vicariously through her. I hope she has an expensive fancy wedding! I'd never have an expensive wedding!
They're lawyers!

I was thinking about how I have to MC Mrs. and Arrow's wedding and how the only things I like to talk about are:
a) babes
b) dirty jokes
and
c) bad words
and how Mrs. family is mostly made up of Ukrainian priests.....
yikes!
I'll have to learn how to be ladylike and couth in the next couple months, I guess!

Also, I bought a computer off ebay yesterday and I AM VERY NERVOUS.
Also, I am doing my passport application. So I can travel around forever whenever I want. (just kidding I have to stay here to work more to pay off my computer and christmas and all of that.)

Aw man, I love costumes. Let's make a movie where I play a bride so I can wear a wedding dress! Dress up! Dress up!
(Mrs. can I borrow your wedding dress later to wear in a movie? hahaa costumes)

GOOD WIFE TIME. bye dudes

(oh also, I've decided to lose a bunch of weight, dye my hair really red again, put together my demo reel and become a super successful actor.
or I may just have a baby and move to the country and have tangles in my hair all day.
I'm going to figure out a way to do everything. Good thing I'm still a young guy. Or at least look like a young guy!)

I miss Yulie.

flower prints and more flower prints

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:51:00 +0000

hello, geniuses!

I hate you, blogger. whenever I go to write I just end up on blogger instead because I am too good at not doing things.

good thing I'm posting this photo of what my natural hair colour in like instead of working on the things that would make me happy. oh such, such a smart guy. Anyway, I like this colour at the root there. Rather boring, but reassuring. Ohh boring but reassuring, there's something I've never been described as.

let these photos, in which I look medium-good, serve as a salve to comfort you after the photos in the last entry. I was very right about babes not finding it as funny as I did. Win some, lose some.

It's very warm outside, apparently. Nice that spring has come but it's filling me with a bit of unease, like it's the end of the world, or like we're going to get hit with crazy, crazy winter weather in the near future and be completely unprepared.

I've been walking everywhere a lot more these days and I lovelove it. I wish that time magically bent if I wanted to walk so that it would be the same time as biking because I much prefer walking but biking takes a third of the time. Obviously.

it's okay that I'll never paint or fix the holes in the wall at this house because it is shabby-chic. ugh.
Should I stay at this house past June? I don't know where else I would like to live. I would like more of a home and there's been too much change and four people is a lot of negotiating for space/decor/daily living.
I miss Yulie.
I'd like to live with a babe who didn't care at all about the house except to admire it and then I'd do all the decorating and make all the decisions and he'd just wander around in awe of my great taste.
Dreams, man, dreams!

(aww man, it's like my worst fear to end up with someone who wants to put up pictures of cars or sports or something in my house. Or showcase their collection of beer bottles around the living room. yeah, that's my worst fear, I knowiknow.)

I have a new roommate but I haven't seen him yet. Oh, maybe he just got home. I won't open my door right now, I'm busy being alone.
I've been medium-busy. Working every day forever. In a nice way. I think I love my job. So smooth so sweet.

I've been working on a couple of different scripts and they are both quite sad and one is so sad... Hmmm. Everything is either very, very fun or very sad for me. I don't like in betweens.

my pants are a jellyfish

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 04:24:00 +0000

WHY HAVE TROLLS WHEN YOU CAN BE YOUR OWN TROLL!

(honestly I love this picture. It has made me laugh more than anything else this year.)
(I am pretty certain that babes I like will not think this photo is as funny as I do. saaaaad.)

(first caption by cheespie!)

2012 2012 2012

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 06:36:00 +0000

2012 2012 2012 2012 2012 2012
party!

OUR HOUSE IS ALWAYS PARTY.

"we're bad people" -my roommate, Ron
"no way man, I haven't slept with anyone this year" -me

uhhhhh
maybe we'll have some resolutions up in this house but I BET NOT.

nah nah nah, man, I'm mature now like a grown adult guy this guy is now a good guy. Don't worry.

I'm charming........... Here I am getting ready to finish off the year. Dollface came over and made this super good dip that we ate the shit out of and washed it down with a bottle of prosecco from her ma! Looks like someone's ma doesn't give them a dirty look when they go for that second beer.....

We went to Comedy Bar last night with some lovely ladies and other pals. I specifically wanted a low-presh New Years and I definitely did not want to have to be chasing the fun or running from party to party so this ended up being really nice. I laaauughed and I danced and I drank and I kissed some people on their cheeks and was super pleased to hang out with some of my favourites and pleased to make other buds into better buds. So, basically right on.
Coulda been better if I had a sweet babe on my arm, but ya know, sometimes you can't have evvverything you like.

Also, it was Mantown!

I love the sparklers for Mantown!

Aw, this bud is adorable!

And I missed this cute face while I was away in Saskatoon for a couple weeks there. I mean, I see Nicole so goddamn much now that are improv lives are married together and we party forever at comedy and in life.
A funny thing happened where I tried to blame her for the way I've been saying my "A"s lately, specifically on words like Haaaandsome... it's almost like a midwestern thing but not quite. Anyhow, she blames that on me! Team influencing!
Also she said she's started putting her chin around in the air sometimes for emphasis, which is apparently something I do. Disbelieve that.

here is a video I just found on her blog of her backing up her claim of being a rapping genius.

Anyway,

I forced Dollface into getting up on stage for the Mantown drinking games. I would 100% forsure win those drinking games if I weren't allergic to beers. So many beers I don't drink!
Love her hot pink pants. Very festive!

This Mantown featured 100% more Jan Caruana.
1 Jan + 2 Babes. Nice.
I liked that. Although I do still like the other men who normally reside in this town.
It was the dirtiest mantown I've ever seen but luckily I can understand dirty jokes. I get them.

After my new year kiss from Dollface! So much red lipstick. Oh I left it on forsure. The only picture I have with the girls at new years is SO GODAWFUL that I need to save it for another time. It's so wonderfully bad that I just keep looking at it and laughing and crying at how ugly I am.
Why doesn't photoshop work on my computer right now!!??!
(I'm not going to make the photo better, only worse don't worry.)

I took these other glamour shots when I got home last night. Didn't really remember doing that. The good thing about there not being any nudie shots in this lot means I didn't send any to anyone! Right on! No, there are surprisingly few racy pictures of me that exist in this world and I feel a tiny bit sad that I'll probably make it to 30 without any surfacing on the internet. (horrified face from my relatives)
Not that I want them on the internet, I just feel like it'll probably eventually happen and it won't be when I'm at my best!
Let's do some nude scenes in some movies.
(just kidding I'm horrrribly prudish and awkward and insecure!)

haahahaaaa classic blank face pose.

My point is that HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!
I'm excited for this next year, maybe I'll learn how to work working into my funtime alltime schedule. I'd like that!
I like that my birthday happens beside the new year because then it's like everything is all new and fresh all together (I mean, never actually, but, you know).

What are your guys's resolutions?
I want to ask Siri but unfortunately I don't have her in my phone yet so I have to wait and then I'll ask her what to wish for my resolutions to be.

give me more christmas forever

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 07:38:00 +0000

yeah yeah yeah I forsure opened up my writing files which means (of course) I have to come over to blogger instead because all of a sudden I just need to update this junk. classsssssic.

I have never in my life seen a full-grown, adult cat look/act/sound more like a teenage kitten than Adventure Cat. Suchhh a nice kitten! Such a soft and funny kitten. Such a pest and pain and a whiner.

My mum was at McNally Robinson today and she was in the washroom and a little kid came in and announced "I'm going to make a really stinky one!!"

that is forsure the kind of kid I'd like and will have sometime.

Oh, yeah, guys, by the way, I'm 28 now. Do you think that makes me the new boss of late 20s? Probably, hey?

Do you guys want to marry me yet, or no?

I don't know why I'm posting some Christmas pictures but not all the Christmas pictures. I guess it's because I do what I like when I like to do it. We had a few gifts. Luckily. The picture of taste? I'd say so!

Am I envious of my cousin's house and her handyman husband? Fuck you.

Hmmmmmm.
I was thinking yesterday while dealing with more sellllllfish bullllshit that ever since making a concerted effort to try to not hurt people's feelings and to not get involved with people who like me too much just for the attention (hahaaaaha UGH you know what I mean, though?) I am dealing with a massive string of the most SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED, SELF-INVOLVED humans.
(as a quick clarification: I do not particularly mean any current situation or activity)

How do people make it to their late 20s and even mid 30s as such bratty, whiny, deservist little wimps??
Selfishness I think is a pretty intense problem in the circles I run in-- these generations are spoiled, coddled gens who think we're entitled to the world and shouldn't have to settle for anything less.
But I feel like there should be limits!

Also, I put up with shit from romantic interests I would never dream of dealing with from pals.
What kind of sick barfbag am I?
Haaaaaaa
I'm being over-dramatic on this point to try to keep myself in check about all of this. Man up, Meredactyl, so much of this is unacceptable.

I think, and this comes as a shock to me most of all, that I've become too nice. I'm confusing my desire to be always kind with being too understanding, too passive, too care-taking.
I stop realizing how everything is on their terms. I stop realizing that if what they're offering is not enough I don't have to take it. This seems obvious, and yet.
And I want very much to be a good friend and a kind friend and an easy-going friend, it's just that that set of skills doesn't work if people are just selfish and that's just how they are.

hhmmm hmm hm.
just considering things.

photos from Christmas morning! I'm sad my baby bro wasn't there (he was in BC with his gf and her fam and gets back tomorrow to celebrate a bit with us) but it did mean that we all (mum, me, aunt) fit on my mum's bed for stockings which was cozy and nic.

on a more serious note,
CAN YOU BUY ME A NEW COMPUTER?
it doesn't even have to be a new computer it could be a used computer forsure.

REASONS WHY I NEED A NEW COMPUTER:

a) I'd like to be able to have more than one application open at once (haaa just kidding, I have Celtx open right now too but photoshop is just not a thing that works on this machine anymore)

b) Imagine if I could make movies on my computer? you could watch them then!

c) I could go back to being a photographer (there's kind of no point right now since I really can't deal with big file photos on this machine)

d) I could watch all my stories better. Fine, maybe this one isn't really for encouraging, but I would waste a lot less time trying to get it to stream

e) the powercord is fraying at the plug-in and it will probably set on fire soon and burn us all down. :( :( :(

f) babes will think I'm cooler

g) I could then video-talk with you in our respective houses and I would probably take my top off (hahaaa just kidding I always wear shirts)

h) I could go back to making sweet beats for my rap career

i) I keep burning my legs

j) I don't have a dad

k) I'll swear around less, cursing this old technology

l) I can do more work, like a real good worker kind of a guy

If you can't afford to buy me a new computer but do understand how to make computers work better I will accept your offer to come over and help me clear out my computer and de-clutter it and make it run fast and strong again.
(with the warning that it is a powerbook that I bought for $300 about 3 years ago at least)

THANKYOUUU

this is where I am right now:

cuddled up and pretending to be a good worker but instead I'll waste forever and ever on bloggggg! Oh, whoops, on facebook, too!!!
Whatever, guys, I have a hard time explianing these days to people who don't blog or don't read blogs, but this thing has helped me so much. Not only a writer but also in terms of comedy-- a place to write whatever and get feedback and make buds and have people think I'm mildly funny at least occasionally.
Also, I love reading people's blogs. I 100% do. So hopefully if you read this it's because you like it and not just to get mad about (I've had to stop myself from reading a couple of blogs like that forsure forsure).

I feel bad because I should have gone out and socialized this evening but I just couldn't get around to it. I mean, I did see three of my favourite people already today but I should have done more. Always should do more. But it's my vacation too and sometimes you just want to curl up with a good book or a good computer for awhile. And enjoy the fuck out of it.

hometime besttime

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:20:00 +0000

hi hii
I'm in Saskatoon now! all safe and sound like.

Good, easy flight. I slept through it like usual. That's the best. Then it's like I magically got here.

I partied forever Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday.
I just went out for a brief moment to see Constantine and my long-lost BFF, SteveDave. Steve and I hadn't seen each other for 1.5 years since the summer before last and I love her like "WHOA", so... you know. also she's really rewarding to see because she just picks me up and shakes me around and looks at me like she can't believe I'm real.
I wish I were that good at being a rewarding friend. I just trust that she knows I feel the exact same.

Gift for Arrow and Mrs.! I was pleased with how these turned out. Can I get a job just drawing herbs, or what?

I have much, much more to say but it's latelatelate right now and I'm tired and tomorrow I'm driving out to small town thrift stores with my cousin and her daughter! OOOHHH SO FUN!
bestbestbesttimes, guys!

she didn't put out, though

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:03:00 +0000

guess for how long I generally hit the snooze button?
an hour!
I always have such good intentions for the mornings or even early afternoons and then I just snooze-button through them.
it's not the worst. I am not the worst these days. I'm still getting things done. A lot of work this weekend and a lot a lot of the best kind of socializing.

I'm better at having fun these days. I keep thinking I was always good at having fun but I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
Partially now it's because I have systematically friended all of the most wonderful people in the universe to be my bffs and hang out with me.
These days I can generally find someone I quite, quite like to accompany me to shows I want to go to or hang out with me until 4 a.m. or have coffee in the middle of the afternoon with me.
this is a big contribution to my overall well-being and general happiness these days.
Also, possibly a factor, is my continued commitment to being in charge of my own fun, and my constant resolutions to avoid unnecessary stress. I'm not the boss of these yet, but hopefully some day.
And with that I hope to (somehow) marry being a good worker with being the happiest.
It's all in the works (by 50 I will have figured it out, maybe... but, hey, nothing really actually matters, so that's alright!).

The other night I came home after a long shift and told Norman that I'd probably stay in for the evening. Of course that meant that he came over and we stayed up until something like 4 or 4:30 drinking whiskey and talking about love and art. We were joined by Yulie and her bf and even by our other bud around 3 in the morning.

Norman and I curled up under the Christmas duvet on the couch and reveled in our heart-breaks and our big future plans, and mulled over our current life situations.
Kind of a perfect way to spend an evening.
even the sadnesses sometimes are lovely if you can detach enough to get perspective. Sadness is reassuring because it can be proof of good-hearts and investment in things.

Last night Flash Gordon took me out on the town for a big date to celebrate my birthday and Christmas!

She knows about my current interest in dates and how I never go on them and took the opportunity to take me out on the town and show me a good time!

She got me flowers and gifts! whatthehell! the gifts were the best because they were re-gifts and found things which makes me so much less uncomfortable! Plus they were awesome.

Also, this may be obvious already but it can't hurt to tell you again, I love Flash Gordon.
Haaaa, we went to comedy bar on Sunday and in the bathroom I asked her about if she loves me. She does.
It's funny how some friendships are quick and strong right away and some sneak up on you until you turn around and realize that you're accidentally the best at being friends.
Flash Gordon and I worked together at the stadiums for years now and did a Fringe play that she wrote maybe three summers ago (four? two?) and even after that it took us quite awhile to realize how we should spend more time together.
I think it started when we started going for sushi after work together. So it was nice that we did that again for our special date!

sushi dinner and white wine!

hhaaahaa. so fun. I felt awkward about it being our big date. that's my classic move, feeling awkward on dates.

We went to see Hugo in 3D after dinner. I'd never been to a 3D movie before! I like Hugo well enough. I wasn't blown away by it, but it was nice. 3D is weird. I got a little bored of it after awhile, I found it harder to concentrate on the story because the 3D was distracting me.

on our way out I told Flash Gordon that she wasn't being a good date because she wasn't spooning me on the escalators down like the other couple there, so she happily obliged.

hahaha :) awwww
Flash Gordon and I think each other are the funniest and we fall over laughing at our own selves mostly every few minutes. THAT IS THE ULTIMATE FUN.

We thought about kissing at the end of the date, but... I'm a lady, so...

what a lucky lady I am most days these days, guys.

Aw man, nothing like counting your blessings and thinking about how much you love your friends to get you in a good mood. Now I feel fantastic.

Gotta get to crafting and then shopping and then working tonight!
So, so much to do and it's about to get crrrrazy busy for here on in!

Friday night is my birthday Christmas get-together, Sophiyka and Mike's Christmas party is Saturday and then I'm hosting the Christmas edition of Mixtape Club on Sunday and then I work Monday and then home on Tuesday. JESUS! yikes! wonderful!
so much to do!

I want to see everyone before I go, and I want to see everyone in Saskatoon so bad!
it's finally starting to feel like the holidays!
it comes so slow and goes too fast!

CHRISTMAS WISHLIST 2K11

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 21:59:00 +0000

a little late?
yeah, for sure!

but it's almost Christmas and almost my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!
and so here is my quick list for ya!

1. TRUE LOVE AND HAPPINESS IN MY FAMILY AND FRIEND LIFE FOREVER

2. BOUNDLESS CAREER SUCCESS

that's pretty much it!

I'm doing a lot a lot of (beautiful) handmade stuff this year because I am joke-broke (ugugghgughh Raptors and improv are killing me) and so it will make me uncomfortable if anyone gets me anything really!

but in an ideal world these are the things I would wish for:

1. a passport (these cost money, who knew!)

2. money and time to more improv/comedy classes

3. a plain silver or gold ring
I've been wanting a plain ring for awhile now something with a tiny stone or no stone or a pattern in the metal or anything really, classic, simple.

4. booze

5. blue and gold antique dishes (always)
or just the best plain blue and white ones since everything gets broken all the time

6. laces, silks, crocheted things
in general

7. thick socks and nice tights!

8. a new computer!!!! (no? hmmmm that's weird no one wants to buy me one)

9. jeans
hahaa no don't buy me jeans but I do need new jeans so bad just reminding myself right now

10. a trip to a beach with a babe

11. antique coloured glassware especially with gold or silver edging

12. cheese

13. craft supplies

14. beautiful decorations

is that all? probably.

I'm a very, very lucky young woman with so many wonderful things in my life and particularly wonderful people and, honestly, the only thing I really really need this year is to see my friends and family and spend real time with them.

awww awww awwwwww aaaaawwwwww
sigh sigh sigh

christmastime is near!

also I went hot tubbing on a hotel rooftop last night and it was sleet-raining and the city lights around us and we were the only ones up there and you know those times where you're jealous of your past self?
yeah.

almost done being 27

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 20:36:00 +0000

I thought that 27 would be a great year. I thought it would be the year I fell in love or some bullshit like that. I thought I'd get acting jobs again, I thought I'd really get to accomplishing something.
Less than a month left of being 27. 28 is officially almost 30. I'm excited for getting older, I feel like there's really wonderful things coming up for me.

I was just trying to figure out if I feel disappointed at all about this year.
I really, really don't.

This year has not been the kind of spectacular I was wishing for but it has been remarkable in several other ways. Really remarkable.

And this year in particular I think I've grown and am really getting better at being me. Sounds ridiculous, maybe, but true.

Let's split this up into categories to go through, yeah?

HOME LIFE
As you know, in June I moved out of the attic bachelor apartment I lived in for over seven years into the new Ossington Dreamhome.
This has been the biggest change in my life in a long, long time.
And it has been hard and wonderful. And super amounts of fun, and ridiculously trying.
I haven't addressed on here how we recently changed roommates, but we did. Our new roommate doesn't have a nickname on here yet. I'll think on it. Anyway, she's very sweet and works 9-5 which means I never see her. She wants to go babe hunting, though, so we have to figure that out soon.

Onesie moved out. It got to be a rather shitty situation and I tried my very, very best to be a good friend to her but there are limits. And as much as you have to be there for your friends, it's also important to realize when maybe you shouldn't be friends anymore. I can't always help everyone all the time.

Yulie is moving out soon, too. Which I am going to be pretty upset about. She's going back to Germany for awhile. I'm glad she'll be back at some point, but it won't be the same not living together. She is such a wonderful, good-hearted love. Who drives me bananas sometimes. Because that's what roommates are for.

I moved out partially because I needed change but also to teach myself better conflict resolution and inter-personal skills. A babe laughed very hard at me recently for putting it like that, but I do really mean it. And I think it's working. I still hate conflict, but I've had some and am stronger for it. I'm learning how to get along with people on a daily basis, and I'm still closing my door a lot and hanging out on my own.

Also, remember how fun the beginning of summer was in this place? Worth it for that alone. Plus I do love the house and my room and getting to decorate and everything. And I like having people around to cook and bake for.
I'm getting really good at cooking, I'd say. Not like a kitchen genius, but I consistently make beautiful meals and eat properly and am learning new skills and meal ideas. And I really rather love cooking. I find it calming and purposeful.

IMPROV
Improv, guys, improv! What the hell?!
Do you ever think about how maybe things happen for a reason? No? me neither.
Anyway, I'm not sure how I got so lucky as to be doing the conservatory right now with some of the most amazing people.
It was actually pretty random that I even decided to audition for the conservatory at Second City because I'd been scared of comedy for the past while. Like, I loved it, but from a distance. I did improv at Bad Dog a few years ago and then just didn't know how to push through further. And as much as I loved my classes at Bad Dog, the conservatory at Second City is whole different ballgame. Seriously different.
The thing about con is that you're set up with shows, you're basically given a team. And now we're getting into performing archive material and then we'll be writing our own sketches (!!!!). It's a smart way of setting us up with the skills we'll need to do mainstage and the like.
And Second City's style is very specific and it's a style I quite, quite like, and I think I'll be very good at it. I'm overly-excited to pitch my premises and then try hard not to boss everyone forever.

Yeah, Second City has a cult-like vibe to it, but it might be because it's great?
I think it's particularly great for me as I have a hard time pushing people to let me do their shows, or let me be on their teams. This program hand-holds us and it's structured to really take care of us and groom us for their particular style.

Also, the buds I'm meeting through this new lifestyle (hahahaaaah) are serious lovebugs! I feel very lucky to get to hang out with some of the funniest people ever. And comedy crushes, man, I have 'em. Like with most of my crushes I can't tell how much of it is an actual crush or if I just think they're very funny and nice.
Either way, I feel like I've found a whole new world of wonderful people. And the best is that they like me too.

LOVE LIFE
Well. I go back and forth between how I'd like to handle this subject on the internet. As you know, my favourite joke ever of all-time is how I am single for life and how many babes I like and how I would like to look at all of them with my hands. I stand by this series of jokes and it's maybe a bit true in real life (very true) but besides that I think I'm getting better at dealing with men. I'm fairly good at understanding situations, even when I'm not quite powerful enough to change them or leave them. And I've basically stopped using people and am avoiding getting myself into situations where I'll certainly be mean.

I had a rather rough summer with things, and a bit into the fall there, too.
I spent a lot of time doing things on other people's terms. Taking care of them, being on their schedules, working around their garbage, etc.

I had several pretty awesome fights (not crazy, more productive), one in front of my house and he was wearing his bike helmet but undone and the straps were dangling and in retrospect I smile because he looked so silly.
I had a great deal of wonderful conversations, I'm getting better at not being overly dramatic about everything, I'm getting better about not causing conflict where there needn't be any.
I've developed a pretty cool move about being as upfront and honest about things as I possibly can be. It's lovely and wonderful and freeing.

The two biggest conversations I had this summer were
"I have nothing at all to offer you, but hang out with me until I leave forever"
and
"We don't like each other enough, but should we still hang out?"
so you see what I mean a little bit? Tough, interesting situations.

And I can honestly say that even if I'm not falling in love much these days, I really, whole-heartedly, am loving people.
Knowing someone is loving them, and I can't have those sorts of conversations, those sorts of fights, those sorts of negotiations without loving them.
And as hard as things have been this summer, I wouldn't trade it for anything, it's too important.

It's all maybe helping to make me into a wonderful partner for someone at some point. I think I'll be good at it someday.

I would like to be a very easy-going kind of a guy. I would love to be as relaxed as possible about things, never needlessly demanding or bratty. And I love, love being a caretaker. I love having someone to do things for and think of and bring things to and back-rub, ya know?
Unfortunately most people are inherently selfish and it's hard to find a balance of care-taking and being taken care of...
But then too, I'm not interested in having a relationship just for the sake of it. And so I'm not willing to put up with a lot of things.

Also, I'm fun! If I'm to ever get serious with anyone, they'll have to be willing to do things. Go out on the town, have adventures, find the fun. Fun is everywhere, it's just not always the easiest to get to. I need a partner who realizes that it's up to us to make everything the best.

Yeah, okay so, I'd love a babe who wants to take care of me and be taken care of and have adventures forever.
And also who is handsome and the funniest. great, thanks!

WRITING AND SELF-DIRECTED WORK
Hmmmmm. This is a constant source of self-inflicted stress. What is it about me that makes me so unable to just sit down and do some damn work?
I'm getting better? No, I just go through periods of productivity. The shit thing about me is that I'm quite good at a lot of different things but I lack the focus and dedication to get really great at anything. Plus I split focus in really awful ways, I'd say it's possible to have too many hobbies/plans/projects on the mind. That's another reason with this improv conservatory is good for me because it's forcing me to really immerse in it.

When I do get to writing, I'm pleased with what I'm doing. I have no shortage of ideas. So many so many big plans for projects! If I can just get them down, sort them out. I'm bad at plot... that's a thing that's always been true. I love moments, ya know? Bits of truth, lovely interactions. But in order to get those moments I need more plot. Working on it.
I told Arrow I'd give him the first half of a feature I'm working on on December 1st. And he's going to give me the first draft of the feature he's writing. Except I have done NO WORK since we made this deal two weeks or so ago. Classic. I have not even opened the file. Obviously.
I guess I could have been doing that for the past two hours instead of writing this and cruising facebook stalking everyone. Could have. Oh well!

FRIENDS
I don't have too much to say on this except that holy shit do I ever still know some of the most wonderful human beings who have ever existed in this world or any other.
To say that I'm satisfied with my friends these days would be an unforgivable understatement. Not to be overly-dramatic or anything, but, man.... love love love love love love love.
Lucky.

Okay, I just really really love this Tom Cochrane song. Something about it fills up in a lovely nostalgic kind of a way.

Probably done with this for now. It's too long! Sorry/you're welcome.

on whether to look for my donor father...

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 21:01:00 +0000

(you guys all know I was born of donor insemination, yeah? that information is crucial for the rest of this entry. haa, obvi!)

So, on Friday (I think), I received an email from another woman who was born of donor insemination in Saskatoon in the same time period as I was. Actually, both her and her sister were.
She found me through my post on this website, which is intended to match donor-siblings and offspring to donors.

HA, OFFSPRING. what a detached thing to be called!

I'd actually completely forgotten about that website, and had stopped paying to access the other donor sibling registry, and had not even ever responded to the email from the one donor (probably not my bio-dad) who had contacted me years ago.

If you know me, you know that one of my main priorities is not worrying. I don't like worrying and I don't like being upset about stuff. And there's no point in worrying about things you can't control, like if you don't have a father.
Instead, I would generally prefer to embrace the differences in my life. My mum is my ultimate favourite person in the world that I've ever heard of. No denying. I would give anything to have her in my life forever and ever and ever. I can't imagine having a better parent than her and I say that in all sincerity. I would choose this situation again above any other option.
So, no dad? I guess that's shitty. I for sure have issues with not quite understanding men and the like because of it. But I'm also still awesome. I was loved beyond loved and couldn't have asked for a better supportive extended family...
There just isn't any point being upset about it! I'd rather make jokes!

But, today I'm upset. I'm upset like I was when I was an angsty 12 year old angry at my mother and furious at not having a father.
Actually, I can't even remember when was an actual time I was super upset about this situation. As a child, I guess. Mostly when I was mad at my mum, I guess? When I needed something to be upset about?
It's a good fall-back if you feel like feeling sad about something, that's for sure.

I guess it's lucky that my brother and I both just look like we belong to our family. Like there was never any doubt we were my mother's kids and never any doubt that we were wanted.
And I think it's completely different having no dad at all with a top-notch mum, instead of a dad who you know isn't related to you. I have zero concept of what that situation would be like.
But then, all families are different. No family dynamic is the same. Ever.

I've never felt like I'm missing anything. I mean, it's fun to think about my bio-dad, on account of I imagine him being the super-coolest and a right-on rad dude who is adorable. But it's just a fantasy. A cool fantasy that makes me feel nice.

Now because of all this I'm having shitty dreams about driving down to Buffalo to track down my donor who turns out to be an awful shumshy-faced drunk with watery eyes!
UGH.

But this woman has a few good points. We are almost 30. Who knows how old our donors are now. Or if they are even alive. Who knows their medical history or if we're accidentally marrying extended family members....

My bio-dad could be dead at this point!
The fact is that I will probably never meet him.
Which should be fine. I mean, I don't know him, he's nothing to me. Except I just always assumed at some point things would work themselves out so that I would meet him. And I expected that at some point I would meet all my bio-siblings...

I don't really think about this all that much, but, it's FUCKING BANANAS that I almost certainly have half-siblings out there who could be my buds RIGHT NOW if only I knew who they were.

Is this the time I go on an actual hunt? Is this the moment I assumed would come at some point? Do I now place ads in newspapers, try to get interviews on news programs, organize a BBQ for all donors and offspring from that time period?
(considering it.)

If my bio-dad or her bio-dad (they could be the same one, of course, though probably unlikely) want to be found then it would be easy. If he does not then it will be impossible. Literally. We are powerless in this situation. And I guess, yeah, she's in her full rights to be mad about that.

She's right to be mad that the records with the only indication of who HALF OF OUR GENETICS are from were destroyed.
She's right to be mad that at the very least offspring from the same donors who are looking for each other shouldn't have access to that information. We could all be looking for each other.

We, the offspring, signed no papers saying we wouldn't look for our donors. We signed no papers saying we didn't need to know who are siblings are.
I strongly believe we are entitled to ask whatever questions we want to. And maybe this woman's reaction to the situation is different than mine, but she's entitled to do any digging she sees fit because we had no say in the situation. And because they weren't just making offspring, they were making humans who grow up and feel they have a right to know about themselves...

I still feel very, very lucky to be alive. And I wouldn't be here without this process. But, yeah, I guess I would like to know who my bio-dad is. And even more so I would like to know who my other siblings are.

Ha, I would like to have money too so I could DNA test everyone I could possibly be related to!

(haaaha baby me at the window. over-dramatic illustration for this post!)

I guess bottom-line, I'd like to either meet my bio-dad or know that he has no interest in meeting me. I think I could stomach that. It seems almost fair. At least then I'd know he's not the sort of person I need to know!

So I guess that means I'll have to look at some point. And the sooner the better if I actually want success... I don't know if it's right now. But it probably should be.

The worst part is, I've always known I wanted to look, but I also don't want to look because once I've exhausted the few avenues, then I will have failed.
And failing at finding family seems like a hard place to be in.

the best little lonely housewife

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 22:18:00 +0000

just lonely housewifing around.
except then yulie came home so I enlisted her help to take all the photos of me. timer portraits of oneself are a lot of work.
a lot of arrogant, self-absorbed work.

"so I've learned from the internet that all you do is drink every day and make out with everyone"
no.
"and you take a lot of pictures of yourself"
mmhmm.
sigh. it's funny how I would think twice about having a crush on anyone who was known as someone who makes out with the world, and yet I think it's very funny to continue to make it seem as though all I do is take down babes forever.

so much of the time I am not making out with babes. Like there are about 8 hours of the night where all I do is sleep.

leaving leaving leaving.

there's something about winter coming that's making me want to fall in love.
luckily I'll go ahead and continue to spend time with people who are unavailable or leaving or distant.

I'd be good at falling in love because I'm perfecting my forlorn face.

remember high-school dating? remember incubate-and-bonding? I miss that.
these days I'm too afraid to even say I'm interested in someone I've already kissed on the mouth. I don't know how to compliment or open up or ask for anything.

I remember leaving a highschool boyfriend's house one night and almost getting to the truck and then running back to kiss him again.
that.

It didn't matter that we only dated for two weeks. while we dated for two weeks we fucking threw ourselves into it.
I want to throw myself into something again.

all I know how to do now is hold back and hold back and be careful never to be the first to admit anything.

I walked into the living room the other day and announced, "Okay, fine, I admit it. I want to fall in love. I want a relationship."
and yulie didn't look up.

It's bizarre how I feel like deciding I'd like to openly seek love makes me feel like a failure somehow. Well, I'm nothing if not insane.
I stand by the idea that looking for love should be very fun, however. If you can figure out how to make it fun (ie, kissing people on the mouth or making jokes about wanting everyone) then that's the best time.

This all only started because I bought this dress in Saskatoon in the summertime at Value Village (naturally) I never wore it all summer, I don't know why. Even though I took the time to hem it with a ruffle (and get rid of about 6 inches of length).
So now I'm wearing it at least.

mixtape club, autumn edition!

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:52:00 +0000

Mixtape club this weekend at this bud's house.
I was trying to remember if he has a nickname on here but I'm not sure he does. I called him Dad the entire time we were filming A Small Thing. But that's probably not a nickname that would be easy to explain every time on here...
He wants a princely nickname. Haahahaaaa. classic.

nice

crazy!

Mrs got engaged to Arrow after the last mixtape club which was held at their house. well, the next day. Maybe the two aren't related but maybe they are maybe mixtape club is magic!
Guess who gets to be in the wedding?? THIS GUY. eeee eeee. did I say that already? Maybe I did. Oh well, I'm still excited about it. For an always single kind of a guy, I sure love weddings! also I have a sneaking suspicion that this wedding is going to be out-of-control tasteful and beautiful. Also it is Ukrainian Catholic which means I get to go to church!

Food this time was super good! Haaaaaa as opposed to every other Mixtape Club. I need recipes for everything. Especially the trifle. Fucking so good. gluten-free almond cake up in that shit, ya know? And raspberries and rhubarb! ugh so good.
Yeah no, I'm hungry again forever if that's what we're having.

I'm hosting next and we're trying to find a date where everyone can come. It's the worst! Why do we all suck at being available?

Plan is to do a Cheesbrough Christmas brunch sort of a thing. Probably starting much later than we actually do on Christmas and maybe involving more booze... but similar foods and Christmas spirit, I hope!? It'll be bigger if all my roommates are home, too... can't very well ask them to leave... or can I?

Today? Just watching TV and making crafts, ya know? why the eff not.
I haven't even started decorating for Christmas at all which is kind of bananas since it's into November now and Hallowe'en is really done and so I actually finally have full license to f this place up Christmas-wise. UH HUH.
Maybe I'll get into that this afternoon....
I have a banister to decorate! YES.
Though I will say part of the problem is that I am insanely broke and so even a trip to the dollar store to get christmassing is kind of out of the question. Luckily I have almost every craft supply known to man so I should be able to pull something out of my butt? Hopefully!

the best is when you get a job and then you have to buy new clothes for it which cost a lot of money and also they are on a once a month pay schedule so you're still pretty much effed but you shouldn't be effed because you have jobs!
ughh. classic.

Okay me and Yule-log are going to make a big stirfry now!

dating advice #2

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:28:00 +0000

awww someone already disliked my video. I'm way too frail of heart for being on the internet.

I don't know why someone wouldn't like my dating advice. It's so wise!

rerun, rerunt, rerun the baby, the fanciest cat

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 17:53:00 +0000

So this little baby kitty died yesterday.
I use the term "baby" lightly as he was 14 and half I think?
Rerun was born when I was in grade 8, he and his twin sister, Cactus were both breech and I had to pull them out of their mama cat. Gross!
The mama cat was such a sweet little one who then disappeared when they were a week old and so we bottle-fed Rerun and Cactus and I insisted on keeping both of them. Obviously. Classic Meredith.

oh man oh man oh man. Guys.
I felt bad because we were having impromptu taco night at our place last night and we had lots of people over and I started hysterically crying. Cool moves.
I also kicked out my friend so I could hysterically cry for awhile before trekking to the bar for Hallowe'en. Still having some issues with water coming out of my face but getting it under control.

I went as a fancy lumberjack to the bar last night, I threw together a costume real quick with the puffiest face ever. It was pretty jokes.
I yelled at several people for not liking my costume and told people I was sad a lot. Winning moves, I got.
I flirted with this guy who had whiskers drawn on but he wasn't dressed like a cat he was dressed like a bunny. a playboy bunny apparently but he was wearing far too many clothes for that.

Ughh. ugh.
Rerun was honestly the best cat. He was so sweet and calm-natured. And the only cat that got along alright with all of the other three (who want nothing to do with each other). Also the best because he was affectionate without being toooo sucky.
He's definitely my mum's favourite, too. Which is heart-breaking because now who is going to sit on her arm while she tries to write?

rerun and cactus are twins.

obviously.

The funniest to me was that he hated being walked by and would sit in the middle of the road and yowl at you when you walked past and then swipe and your legs. Ha! So dumb!

Also, my baby cousin called him the "fancy cat". I have no idea why! Probably because he was ginger? Adorable, though.

this is the last picture I took of him, I guess.

I knew when I saw him in August that he was not doing too well as he was very skinny and sickly.

Oh, sigh, guys. Oh sigh.

Rerun was totally my favourite. You know how you can't choose favourites with your children? You can with cats. And Rerun and Adventure Cat are my favourites.

I'm going to miss that little huge baby guy so much.

I mean, Christmas is coming. Which is amazing. And I can officially get the fuck into the holiday spirit and go to town on gearing up for the holidays.
So I feel completely bananas today. Coupled with some other drama shit in my life which is ups and downs and then I just feel so..... too much. Too much today.

Plus I still need a job like WHOA. really, really whoa.
fuck.

dating advice #1 - how to show you're interested

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 16:05:00 +0000

here is my first video in a new series I'm making wherein I give you some dating advice. I think my take on dating is universal and will give you all you need to know about how to date and keep dating.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, this advice is worth hearing.

Please send your relationship related questions to me and I will answer them in video format! You can email me, or leave your questions in the comments below. It can be for advice for you, your friend, or your "friend", I'm easy.
And that's why I'm the expert.

Also, a BIG shout-out HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my favourite people, Dollface turns 12 today!! Congrats baby! She can now babysit your kids!

here we are last hallowe'en with Flash Gordon!
and then I tried to woo her.

and then we laughed

come over for boardgames

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:36:00 +0000

Hey, here's something neat; I haven't been a push-things-too-far-asshole in about a year and half according to my calculations!
RIGHT ON.

Remember when I was the kind of person who would push every crush to see what I could get and even when I knew I didn't want to keep hanging out with them I did so that I could continue getting attention? So classy.
Remember two-weekers? I've pretty much gotten that pattern out of my system, I think. Now I know how to get out before it gets like that.
Remember when my mother told me after I'd been dating a dude for over a month that she'd known from the beginning he had no chance?
I have made an actual concerted effort for the past while now to specifically not push things just to see what I can get. Or to pretend I want to be in something I don't. Or to date for the sake of dating.
Oh, man I mean, I'm still not the best.
For instance, I have a crush on everyone I see at first and will push to see if it's reciprocated. But once I realize I'm not actually interested, I back right off. Sure there are people I should not have kissed and probably should have texted back, but at least I didn't pretend like I wanted to hang out forever like I have in the past. And I don't actually think I've hurt anyone's feelings particularly in quite sometime.

Hmm. maybe by saying how I'm a better person now, I'm just pointing out how awful I've been in the past. But it's not like most people I know aren't like that sometimes.

Although, you know this means I've been on the other side of it a bit more in the past while. And since before I was arrogantly yelling around about how I deserved a good heart-break, then I guess yeah, it makes sense.

Despite things not particularly going "my way" lately, I'm pretty happy with how I am.
I'm being a kind sort of person, care-taking. A bit too giving, yeah, but sometimes people come into your life and kind of need to be taken care of for a minute.
About one situation I remember saying, 'Well, at least it's me, because I can deal with this'. obnoxiously martyring, yeah. I'll be glad when this stage is done, too.

Another thing I'm pleased I've held onto is how naieve and open I am still. You tell me something, I'll pretty much believe it. Why would you lie to me? I don't want to hang out with liars.
I still think that people are generally out for the greater good, and not just manipulating everyone and everything to get what they want.
I just can't be that cynical. I think that would be more heart-breaking than actual heart-break in some ways.
And I'm still not going to try to manipulate situations or people or play at things. I just can't. The only thing I value is honesty. And I've actually gotten quite a bit of that this summer. which saved me a lot of distress, and saved friendships.

Went out last night with Dollface to some clubs that I never really go to. We were with some finance guys for a minute but didn't really stay with them, ran into some other random people DF knew.
Ended up being pretty fun. Some men bought us some drinks. Yep, still feel mildly uncomfortable with being boughten things.
Actually, the dudes we randomly ended up partying with were very lovely. And they were drinking champagne which looked so good but I fiercely stuck to my 6 drink limit and yet still have a headache today.
I did have some awesome dance moves for Dollface for a bit there against a railing. Oh who even lets me out in public?

Finally a new living room set-up! Am I pleased? why yes, yes I am.

the shelving unit is just fruit crates I found in the road and I really couldn't be more pleased about it.
I'm going to turn the table legs around so they bow inwards I think, they stick out a bit much for my liking, but at least we finally have a table! this has been on my wishlist for months! Finally a little place for crafts or games or computer-working. Anything, really!
The living room had been the one room I hadn't touched and hadn't put effort into and therefore was my enemy for this whole summer and now it's too cold to be out on the decks we really need a lovely, warm, cozy, welcoming living room. So glad.

If you haven't watched my video about hockey from the previous post, I suggest you do. Come on now.

Also, improv is totally taking over my life in every way still. And I still love it. If only instead of sucking all my money out of me it would give me money that'd be the best ever.

go team!

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 06:01:00 +0000

here is a movie about sports and hockey and my team the vancouver canucks!

(first time using iphone editing software cut me a break guy ya know. still okay I think who knows.)

come here first for all your hockey news!

occupy bareass beach

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:30:00 +0000

haaa my mum uploaded this picture to her fb and the album name is "Occupy Bareass Beach".
classic mother.

I've been hiding out in my room all day making Christmas crafts. I can't tell if I'm in a good mood or bad mood lately. Both.

Went to see a couple of the shows last night at Toronto Improv Fest. So, so good. The first show I went to, especially was wonderful. It was an all-woman extravaganza and featured several of my favourite comedians and buds. So, so impressive. And I was happy that everyone I knew legitimately killllllllled it and I didn't have to pretend congrats for anyone because it was super amaze like whoa. Especially my favourite classmate, so happy she's so great.

Lots of redheads in the show! Maybe 45% redheads. Am I exaggerating? It seemed like a lot! I'm jealous. What is going to make me special now???

I'm working all weekend. Super weird. Please give me more jobs. Thanks

this last one is my favourite. Obviously?

need an improv sponser doesn't seem that hard someone give me money thankyouuu

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:22:00 +0000

guys guys guys guys guys guys.
I wish I had unlimited money! remember how sometimes people basically just buy themselves careers and success? I wish that was me!
buy me some improv shows and some feature films and some tv shows to be in!
I'll pay you in awkward HJs if you want them?
("it doesn't have to be awkward"
"yes it does, you obviously haven't met me")

I wish I had unlimited funds so I could just do improv and all other comedy all day long and take every workshop and make bffs with everyone and then get to be the boss of it right quick like I want in my heart. YA KNOW?
I have no patience for the part of doing something where I'm not good at it yet. That's the problem with thinking that you're smart! you have no patience for not being smart at something! ughguguuhhh. this is why I'm only half good at everything except acting which I basically am only half-good at because have you ever seen me do shakespeare? DIDN'T THINKSO. (not that I couldn't, though because I could don't worry)

(hahahaa I love this picture so much I make such a good petulant child. cast me as that.)

We had an improv show last night. My conservatory class, I mean. Our last one of Con 2. I've been at this shit for four months now I guess! that's a bit!
I'm feeling way way good about it. Maybe not about my actual realtime work right today but what's going to happen when it's the future and I'm the best. I think it's possible that I will become awesome at improv/comedy in general.
why?
a) I'm smart (really, meredith, really you think you're smart? huh, I never would have guessed.)
b) I'm getting good at characters and soon I'll be good at being bigger and uglier and more specific and voices!
c) I love it
d) I'm cute in the face but in a way that lends itself well to being ugly funny

here we are at pho. the lady friend is not in our con class, she's in the one that's just ending now and I went to their show and they fucking killed it and our final show in June (family, book your plane tickets) is going to be that good too so get ready.
but yeah, us three are all saskatchewan-born. though both of them lived in alberta for bits of time. But when she's home in North Battleford at Christmastime I'm going to drive out and visit her to go thrift shopping that'd be so funny.

Does anyone actually care if I use their real names on here anymore? Probably not if you're a comedian all you want is to have everyone know your name and whether or not I think you're funny.
This dude is one of my favourite classmates (along with the other 9) and he heard I said "I'd rather die" than get with him and now this is my favourite joke and I think now he wants to prove otherwise. hahahaaaa people don't like it when you say you'd rather die.

now here he is kissing my fingers and it made me very very uncomfortable! and squeamish and giggly... ooo maybe I wouldn't rather die...........
(yes I would)

hahahahaha see what I mean about my face? Problematic!

also it's annoying to have such an asshole face like mine which is the most transparent thing and I can't even make jokes in peace sometimes. nah, just kidding, my face is whatever it's on me so I'll deal with it
(no but really, can someone buy me a chin?)

this one is so dreamy and foggy I love it so much. we look like tv sisters! you know like where they make one blonde and one redheaded? hey prove that we aren't related! #donorbabyjokes

guys I'm not even in that good of a mood right now but I can't stop writing like I am. maybe it's the leftover pho I had for breakfast and now I have msg poisoning and I'm going to die. Probably.

HA, look at our proportional wine bottles! god damn that tiny wine bottle is so handy, it's so me-sized. and portable!

YEAH, SO. this one part of my life is really good. and everything else is feeling okay though we have a couple of issues with the pact, I think the pact is still for the best. It's keeping me aware of what I'm actually wanting. mostly. kind of. when I'm sober.

Now somebody hire me and give me some money or somebody cast me in something super high-paying and life will be fucking so sweet I'll fall over and kiss your tiny tiny toes.

Also, Christmas is coming!

nice skin

noreply@blogger.com (meredith r. mistletoe) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:38:00 +0000

Hey the other day I let Dayna take pictures of me! For Gelaskins.

Man, I don't ever mind getting my picture taken really and if it means I get to hang out with one of my favourite buds for a bit at the same time and get coffee and some skins and stuff then all the better!

I still keep meaning to get a personalized one made up for me...

I would maybe get one of these:

or maybe something like this:

or:

there's other photos I'm thinking of but I have no idea where they are in my photostream. I think I'll get multiple skins and switch it up all the time. mmmhmm.
Very cool idea and company, I think.

I get to go to work tonight! I am tired because Flash Gordon called me and woke me up this morning which would have been fun except I was hanging out with Norman until past 3 in the morning just talking about art and love and other stupid shit like that.
Just kidding best buds.

I am in a terrible mood these days a lot and a lot of it is the various stresses of having roommates. Remember when I was in love with this house and having people around? No longer!
Things will get better, I'm sure, I'm just annoyed and worn out and tired of conflict and conflict resolving and at some point people are going to need to all grow up.
Which is easier said than done, of course.

I don't think I blogged this video yet so here you go. I was in a very, very good mood on that day. Good moods are good ideas!

Also someone stole the front tire off my bike which is locked up in front of my house and now I have to walk to work and walk everywhere basically. And I'm pissed. I'm extra pissed because it was a shitty tire so fuck off, ya know? You don't even want that shitty tire, I need it.
ugh.

OKAY BYE FOR NOW I'M GOING TO BE IN A BETTER MOOD LATER.