I stepped way out of my comfort zone. Far out. Fear was overpowering me. But why? Why was I so afraid to minister/pray for these mama’s? I’m not bothered if someone hates me or if I get cursed at. I count it joy. I would rather stick up for these little lives and fight for them. Was it that I didn’t want to say the wrong words? That was part of it. Thinking that saying the wrong thing could cause a woman to go ahead with her abortion, that’s a lot of guilt to carry. Or was it the aftermath? Knowing that the enemy was going to attack. That happens every time I’ve stood up for my faith. I get majorly attacked. Life changing attacked.

My day started with nerves. Or rather, it started with borderline nightmares. Nightmares of my children seeing images of aborted babies and being scared and running into my embrace. But I was the one afraid to see those images. When I awoke I saw a book on my nightstand, One Million Arrows by Julie Ferwerda. I hadn’t seen it in quite a while. Someone must have put it there. I picked it up and began reading it. Perfect. Such encouragement on such an emotional day. This section was talking about the 9/11 heroes.

The firefighters of 9/11 are heroes because they have saved the lives of hundreds of people, while they knew the building could collapse. While you go up a burning, 110-story building you would be very scared, because you’ll think of your own life. When you are a firefighter you mustn’t think too much about your own life or you may not be able to save lives. Being a hero means saving lives. That’s the difference between being a celebrity and being a hero. Why would a celebrity be important to you? It is just someone with a well-paying job. You’ll be someone’s hero if you help him with his or her life.

My eldest daughter had found the book and placed it on my nightstand for me.

After a quick breakfast I gathered my things, tucked my four month old into his car seat and my family gathered around me and prayed. We prayed for courage. We prayed for His words and not mine. We prayed for the tiny heartbeats. That was the most amazing family prayer I’ve experienced. Knowing my children were praying for babies.

I lifted my son into the van and drove toward the abortion mill. I prayed the entire way there. I considered calling someone to chat while I was hitting red light after red light. However I stopped myself as I knew I needed to come before Him in prayer. This was a time for me and Him. The radio began playing a song that took on a whole new meaning to me. Lead Me by Sanctus Real. I began paying attention to the song here…

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh Father, show me the way
To lead them

Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me ’cause I can’t do this alone

Tears fell.

As I got closer I could feel my pulse racing. The nerves were at their highest. My phone announced that I had arrived at my destination. But no. This was a street of trees and houses, a neighborhood. I looked at my phone again. Nope, it said I was here. The enemies first attack. I creeped through the neighborhood looking for the mill. It was no where. I finally found a hospital to pull into and called my husband. He was able to direct me to where I needed to go. The enemy had sent me 1/2 mile away from the mill. Had he hoped I would use that as a scape goat and a sign I shouldn’t go? Shame he doesn’t know how bull headed I can be.

I parked on the side of the road, wrapped my son onto me so I could easily carry him around and we headed to the crowd. It was easy to find because there were cars all up and down the street. And a large ultrasound RV right in front. So many kind and loving faces. Praying for the mama’s and for the babies. Praying for the dads and siblings. There were Brother’s and Sister’s speaking on a microphone so that the women inside could hear our pleas. That’s when I realized there were rules that needed to be abided by. Such as not stepping onto their property or blocking the driveway. That hurt the most. Not being able to go up to these broken women. The mill has their own security guard. What a wretched job that must be. Protecting the women who are there to dismember their babies. I was in awe when I watched some teenage boys pray over the security guard. Where did that come from?? Oh how I wish I had been closer to listen and be a part of that!

{photo thanks to Lisa Metzger}

I watched as car after car pulled into the parking lot. Seeing the enablers bringing the mama’s and letting them out of the car. Friends, fathers, grandmothers, etc. The anger that filled them. Not all of them, though. I will never forget Sylvia. She was so sweet. She brought her friend to have an abortion. For two weeks prior Sylvia had been begging to be allowed to keep her friends baby. She could no longer have children but wanted to adopt her friends. Her friend told her no. We prayed over her and encouraged her to do what she could to save, what could be, her new family member.

Then there was Kyesha. Her and her friend exited the building. They were getting into their car when they called out to us, “we didn’t do it!” She had decided to keep her baby. You could see the peace in her face. The acceptance and excitement of a new adventure.

I stood there and prayed. Spoke to new friends and tried to absorb all that I could learn during those couple hours. I played with my son in the wrap. Kissed his forehead a thousand times. Prayed tears that wet his head.

Sounds pretty emotional, doesn’t it? I love it. I loved hugging the mama’s. I loved just being silent in prayer. I loved walking the sidewalks. There were plenty of men there. They were the ones with the loud voices. I stayed meek and quiet. Using a soft voice with the women who timidly came to talk to us.

I came home on fire. So excited to have found my ministry. Little did I know how much this ministry was meant for me. The enemy attacked and attacked hard. He threw a left that I didn’t see coming. Knocked me down. I knew something would come. By the weight of his attack I have been assured that Yahweh surely has big plans for me there. I will continue to go and I will continue to pray.

If this has been on your heart, also, let me encourage you to embrace the fear and break through it. Count it all joy my loves. You can find the resources and education you need at Cities4Life and Sidewalks4Life. I am so thankful for life just as these little ones will be thankful that you sacrificed time to pray and minister on their behalf. We live in a beautiful broken world. Let’s fight for the least of these.

Blessings!

Thirteen years later {and many tears} I’ve finally accepted that I can. not. cook. I have more Bob Vila in me than Donna Reed.

This past week my loving husband encouraged me to try something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. You see, I was raised by my grandparents and three uncles. My grandfather has had a workroom in the basement as long as I can remember. And I’ve seen all the amazing things he’s created and what my uncles have built. I would venture down there every once in a while and tinker around. My biggest accomplishment was making a pair of crutches {despite the fact I’ve never broken one bone in my body}. One of my favorite classes in school was woodworking in seventh grade. I loved when we were asked to create a blueprint of a house. But that’s where it ended. To me, that was a man’s gifting. A womans gifting was to cook, sew, do hair, know how to dress, etc. I can sew but I can’t cook, I am terrible when it comes to doing my daughters hair, my sister has to teach me what to wear {thank you, sister, for the hand me-ups}.

But dag gone it, I can build and I’m great with finances. Two things I thought were considered man giftings.

So I began building a table. I had seen it all over Pinterest and our family was getting bigger and we didn’t have three grand to drop on a new table. I knew it had the possibility of being a complete waste of money but I was thrilled that I had the support of my husband in finding a new hobby.

We went out and picked up all the wood and screws.

The next morning I began notching out the legs. Glue and screws. Saws and mallets. Levels and sanders. It was like being in my own toy store.

Halfway through building my oldest daughter asks me, “so is this going to be your new hobby?”

“I’m really having fun so, yeah, I think so.”

“That’s just so opposite of what I’ve read in my books…”

Thank you oh-so-much Laura Ingalls for convincing us that there is only one role for a mother. But this mother is going to step outside the comfort zones and do what I enjoy and what I know God has gifted me with. Creating. I need my husband to help me with my projects because, let’s face it, I’m not as strong as a man. I need him to lift what I can’t bear on my own.

This project has brought us closer together and has released him from my constant guilt trip of taking what should have been “my” talent. You see, my husband is an amazing cook. I mean, a-maz-ing. He’s the reason I can’t get rid of this baby weight. So after thirteen years of marriage I’m finally admitting that we don’t fit into the cookie cutter gender roles. No where in the Bible does it tell me that I have to be able to cook. Wasn’t Jacob a great cook? Good enough to take his brothers birthright, I’d say that’s pretty darn good. Take this as you will but Jael did save Yahweh’s people by using a hammer and peg. Yeah…I may have gone too far with that connection. I have no intentions of hurting anyone. But you get the point.

My daughters have already bought into the belief that we fit into certain molds. And you know what? We do. There are definitely some  things that are meant only for moms and some only for dads. There should be both a father and a mother in the household. Women should be soft spoken and men should be leaders. But when it comes to giftings…well, I won’t be stealing my husbands talents any more. Unless the Bible instructs me in one direction I will listen to the Holy Spirit on where He leads me. Rather than pushing Him aside and listening to the norm.

So if one daughter excels in knitting – great. If the other really loves hunting – great. If my boy is great at cooking, just like his pops – I’ll be thrilled. It seems this is the year of acceptance. I hope my children long to learn about everything Yahweh has created. As I know there is so much more to be explored.

By the way, for Mother’s Day I’m getting raw materials to build my own workbench. Take that Martha Stewart!

Blessings!

Fast forward one year.

Sweet baby #6 had a safe arrival. I was anxious to get back to work and get the house to where I wanted it. I claim to be a minimalist but with a half dozen kids that can be hard. For Lent this year my eldest daughter asked me to give up Facebook. When I told her I would she was elated. And just like that I had loads of extra time on my hands. We took one room a day and wore ourselves out pitching and donating.

I. Was. Brutal.

And you know who was more brutal than I was? My kids! They were anxious to get rid of everything so they wouldn’t have to clean every day! I tried hard to keep the things that would be sentimental and get rid of all the excess. However, I’m sure I got rid of things that would make others cringe. Heck, I went to put the spare sheets on our bed only to find out I had donated them. It wasn’t fun paying for new bed sheets but I don’t regret being so hard core against the clutter. It was something that needed to be done.

I don’t have any special advice. Maybe you don’t mind living with a lot. However, all the clutter was affecting my relationships with others. I never felt like anybody wanted to come over to the ‘messy’ house. It also affected my spiritual life. If I wanted to sit down and read the word or pray my eyes and mind would wander to the large pile of dirty clothes or the toys lining the hallway.

The thing that hit the hardest was when I realized I was “the rich man.”

And behold, a man came up to him, saying, “Teacher, what good deed must I do to have eternal life?” And he said to him, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.” He said to him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All these I have kept. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”
(Matthew 19:16-24 ESV)

I had all these possessions. Even gifts from others. I didn’t want to offend anybody if they would come to our house and not see what they had gifted us.  I mean, that’s rude, right? So I kept everything. Trying to please others while this entire time I was keeping us in misery. My family didn’t want more “things” they wanted relationships. Who cares if you have beautiful china if you have no one to serve?

It took a month and I’m honestly not even 100% done now. I think this will be in progress for a long time. And I’m okay with that. It’s always good to reevaluate our “needs.” I’m hoping, if anything, this teaches my kids that relationships come before anything else.

For your entertainment, and to let you know you’re not alone, here are some of our before and afters.

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By the way, anybody want an exercise machine?

Now here are some afters that never had a before picture taken. I’m sure you can use your imagination.

Now, I want to remind you that I am no “little miss perfect.” Just cause I can clean up and take a picture does not mean it looks like this all the time. I’m taking time to write this blog post right now so clearly something is getting ignored. I would much rather my house be dirty than my children’s hearts be burdened. So I will choose my family over a clean house every time. I couldn’t have said that before because I wanted to please my guests to no end. If you happen to be somebody who is obsessed with your house being perfect, let it go. Stop making others feel so inadequate around you. We all fail somewhere. I don’t want to be jealous of your oh-so-clean house. I want to be jealous about how you live. I want to see toys around to prove to me that your children know how to play. A kitchen that is dusted with flour because you let the kids help with dinner. Don’t read into that to deep. I do believe we should be hospitable. But just like with our faith, make the unbeliever feel welcome to be around you. 

Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
(Romans 14:13-19 ESV)

Blessings!

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. {Romans 12:2}

Don’t we all need a chance to start over? When we feel incredibly run down and ready to be brushed off and start again? I’m so ready for that. I’m ready for grace. I’m ready to stand tall on the rock and to quit seeking the approval of faulty men. Christ. It’s all Christ. If it’s not, it’s a waste. I don’t want to waste it all. May He be made bigger and me smaller. To Yahweh be all the glory forever.

So here, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, here is to new beginnings. Let’s not look back.

{I can’t help but share with you a glimpse at my newest little love. A new beginning.}

Blessings!

One thing I learned at my last visit is that Invisalign is especially good for people to help prevent future problems! And I believe that’s where I was heading. My teeth didn’t look so bad but as time goes on they were going to get worse if I didn’t take action now.

Just this past month I found out that I have two close relatives who will be starting Invisalign within the next few weeks. It’s so simple and takes such a short amount of time. And if you’re in the Charlotte, North Carolina area then you can save $1000 today on your Invisalign! Carolinas Dental Center is holding a Patient Appreciation Day. Lots of fun for the kids and if you think you might even be slightly interested in Invisalign I highly recommend you go and speak with the dentists. Get impressions and see, digitally, how your teeth will change. Plus LOTS of amazing prizes they’re giving away!!! Just look at the flyer below:

To give you an example of how Invisalign can help you here are my personal video clips. For me it’s not a huge dramatic change because I caught it early. But keep in mind that I was in braces for quite a while as a teenager. My teeth have definitely shifted in the past 15-20 years.

Invisalign Front View

Invisalign Left View

Invisalign Mandibular Arch

Invisalign Maxillary Arch

Crazy isn’t it?? The Left View is definitely the most dramatic. You can see that gap on the top getting closed up. I can’t help but wonder would would have happened to my teeth in, say, 15 years had I not done this now. As I said, if you’re even the least bit interested go check them out today and take the kids for some bounce house fun! And for goodness sake, try and when yourself an iPad 3 or big screen tv! Why not, right?

Blessings!

A few days went by and I was standing at the kitchen counter cooking. Nervous about what my husband thought about this new food I asked his thoughts.

“I think the bread is too yeasty,” he said.

And thus was born The First World Jar.

It was then that we realized just how spoiled we are. Instead of being thankful for what God has provided for us we were constantly thinking of things to complain about. Don’t think my husband is the only one who’s complained, I’ve been called out multiple times! So what exactly is a First World Jar?

For every time we complain about a first world problem we have to put a dollar into the First World Jar. We keep this set out for all to see and to remind us to be grateful. Otherwise we’re going to fall back into being Israelites and demanding our manna and quail and water {Exodus 14-32}.

My nine year old heard my one year old tantruming and told him to be a dollar in! Guess it’s best to learn young, huh?

I bet you’re wondering what happens to all the money. Do we save it up and go to Disney? Do we use it for car repairs? Absolutely not. This money will be going to the true third world countries that are being served by Food for the Hungry.

Over the past year I have been blessed to learn so much about this wonderful organization that works amazingly hard to end world hunger. And I have never met people who are so filled with joy to be able to serve in these countries.

And isn’t that the joy that we all seek? Even if we don’t realize it? Here, I’ll put a dollar in the jar to illustrate my point. I was sitting outside watching my children play and writing up this blog post. Wanna know what I wanted to complain about? That my keyboard was too hot and I needed to go inside. Yeah, must be nice to have the choice to sit inside a large air conditioned house while communicating with the entire world at my finger tips. Listen, I know some people are going to say they’re not motivated by guilt. But if it’s the truth…

Is this an area of your life that you need to work on as well? Won’t you join us? Leave ignorance behind and as you work on your own heart and your own thoughts you’ll be able to serve these families that are desperate for ‘yeasty’ bread.

Please, take a moment and check out Food for the Hungry. Sponsor a child! You know you will be putting at least $32/month into the jar anyhow. Or you can choose a cause to serve. Use this as an opportunity to teach your children about gratefulness and serving others. No matter how much we fail God can use us in His story. To serve “the least of these”. Especially if you have young children, this is a great learning opportunity. They need to know that none of us are perfect, but that God can make something beautiful out of our filth. He gives us abundant grace and gently teaches us. We should model the same to our children. Help them have the hearts to serve. The hearts to be thankful for all that we have. The roses and the thorns.

Blessings!

: Day 8 :

I know the days of summer squash are near gone but if you can find some zucchini at your farmers market or grocery store this recipe will knock your socks off! I was thrilled when my kids began begging for more. So zucchini, if you search Pinterest, has countless recipes. Apparently once you grow a plant of them you’ll have so much stock to give away. Most search results I’ve found are titles like, “How to Use Up All Your Zucchini Harvest.”

Our favorite so far has been the zucchini fries!

Here is a link to the recipe: Baked Zucchini Fries

The best advice I can offer is to use two hands. Use one hand for only dipping the zucchini slices in the egg wash and the other hand for covering the zucchini in bread crumbs. Otherwise you’re going to have mushy fingers and that’s just not fun.

The only thing we did differently was use regular parmesan cheese. After making a large batch we had NO leftovers. And the best part? It’s healthy and inexpensive. Easily a main dish for lunch.

Enjoy!

Blessings!

: Day 7 :

Todays post isn’t so much a recipe as it as an encouragement and some links. My sweet mother in law sent us a yogurt maker a while ago and I’ve just recently began using it on a consistent basis. We never fully realized how easy it was to make yogurt! And with how my kids down this stuff we definitely needed a way of saving money. One dollar a serving is a bit too much for us.

Pictured here is our yogurt maker. A Euro Cuisine Yogurt Maker. I love it! However, I’ve had lots of people inform me that you don’t need a yogurt maker. You can easily make it in a crock-pot! Now, I haven’t tried this yet, we’ll be trying it this weekend, but I’ve heard nothing but positive results. So here is a link for all those interested: Crock-pot Yogurt

Each yogurt maker is different so I’m just going to give you the gist of how we make ours. We pour 42 ounces of milk into a pot. It is then heated until it begins climbing the sides of the pot. At that point we remove it from the heat and allow it to cool to 95 degrees. Then it is poured into a pitcher through a sieve and 6 ounces of plain store bought yogurt is mixed in. Once fully mixed the milk/yogurt mixture is dispersed evenly between the glass cups. It then ‘cooks’ for around eight to nine hours {I never time this right and always have to wake myself in the middle of the night to turn it off}. I take the glasses out, screw on a lid and pop them in the fridge. That’s it, all done! The kids then have fresh yogurt for the next morning.

And just for kicks we add in berry flavoring. We normally use the following recipe for pancakes and french toast but it went perfectly in the plain yogurt: Berry Sauce

Hope you at least venture out and try to make your own. The kids had a fun time watching the milk boil and telling me when the thermometer had cooled down to 95 degrees. Whatever makes them happy!

Enjoy!

Blessings!

: Day 6 :

We were blessed to go apple picking yesterday so I just wanted to re-share an apple butter recipe from last year. Makes a whole lot! Enough for you to either keep stock in your pantry or to share with those around you. Enjoy!

Blessings!

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: Day 5 :

Ever wonder how fast food mexican restaurants can sell their burritos and tacos so cheap? Yeah, they’re way over charging! This recipe might be one of my families absolute favorites. The kids love burrito night. And it starts with a very cheap bag of dried pinto beans.

You put the 2lbs of beans in the crock-pot with water and cook them on high until soft. I haven’t done this, but I imagine adding baking soda would quicken the cooking process.

Next, mash up the beans. We used a hand held blender. It’s then time to spice it up! I’m not a chef so I’m just going to give you a general idea of the spices we used. I’ll link to a recipe that is similar.

Chili powder
Salt
Pepper
Onions

This recipe here includes jalapeños, we choose not to use them only cause I’m afraid the kids would turn their noses up at them. Also, that recipe is for a huge amount of people. I’m not even sure we’d be able to keep that in our freezer.

Once it’s all cooked up and yummy it’s time to start wrapping up your burritos! Be watchful of how much stuffing you put in each wrap or you could end up with an overflowing mess. Here’s how we work it.

1. Layout a tortilla wrap.
2. Spread with a spoon full of bean mash.
3. Spread on a spoon full of cooked rice.
4. Sprinkle with cheese.
5. Fold in two opposite sides.
6. Take an open side and roll closed. Seal with a dab of bean mash.

To make them extra yummy and less messy we pull out the griddle and fry these babies up. Just spray the pan with a little oil and cook on both sides until toasty brown, crisp and easy to hold.

Dip in sour cream and salsa! If you make a 2lb bag of dried beans you will have plenty of leftovers! They freeze easily and heat up wonderfully! There’s something to be said about beans and rice as a main staple. Healthy, cheap and delicious!

Enjoy!

Blessings!