Eunuch

2009-04-06T01:51:00.000-07:00

Meditation and Masturbation are somewhat similar; they both replace an activity which is disallowed by somebody else.

2008-12-12T07:11:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I am having something similar to mild epilepsy.
My mind goes away.
I start thinking about something else.
It's absolutely involuntary.
I don't attend to the immediate environment or conversation at that moment.
So they prevent me from hearing some things.
So they prevent me from reading.

2008-12-12T07:00:00.001-08:00

I am a eunuch.
It is busy at the moment.
First of all, it is trying to pit me against the other migrants.
Secondly it is enlgightening me about some generals truths about business.
There is no justice: if you can steal something do it.
Everybody is stealing from me.
The Muslims and the Blacks they don't talk with me.
It's true by the way.
Nobody talks with me, unless I am working.
The Muslims and the Blacks would not respond to my advertisement.
They would follow me, find out where I work, employ there one of their own and use that person instead of me.
They wouldn't even post a notice anywhere.

2008-12-11T12:02:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Rubish game - good sport.
Computers make mistakes when it concerns me, at home, in businesses, in public institutions.
I may receive the same document twice.
I may be asked the same question twice.
My application may disappear.
I may get a bill that never existed.

2008-12-11T11:12:00.001-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Someone robs me off a few quid by conspicuously offending.
I appeal and I fail.
Then somebody else returns me the money.
The money is returned by allowing me to earn this money.
?
Now I have ringing in my ears.
The days is almost over.
It is subsiding, the ringing.

2008-12-11T06:58:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
It has just told me that my mental issues and other problems have to do with the fact that I wasn't employed.
I tried to work for myself.
It told me that they rob people, harass them, pester them etc.
They stop only when somebody punishes them or makes up their wrongdoings to me.
I.e. when my employer gives me some extra work in order to make up the money I have lost due to them.
I am not sure about revenge bit though.
That's what it told me.
Fascist Highway, baby.

2008-12-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
It's something very strange.
I am what the Russians call 6.
I cannot resist helping the other for free.
I hate that person, but whenever that person is in front of me I become very open.
I think that it may be some gas or hypnosis, or some extreme conditioning.
I lose control of myself.

As I mentioned, no one has been talking with me the last 5 years.
I have been absolutely single with numerous episodes of abuse.
Robbed, threatened with a knife or scissors.
Has anyone experienced what it means to have someone steal something from you every day?

2008-12-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I go out rarely.
Whenever I go out, it sends a beautiful woman who stops somewhere near me and does nothing.
She neither looks at me, she does not approach me, she does not walk somewhere either, she notices that I noticed her and she stops.
Then I have a barrage of keywords from it and from other people, which elicit something negative in me and cause distress.

It is possible that very soon I will be living on the street again.
The perpetual barrage.
I am a eunuch.

Very recently I had one of those moments when I become naive and divulge all the information I know.
It's so natural.
Afterwards comes self-pity.

2008-12-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
It, the alter ego, says that it wants to see me penniless and without any pension living on the street when I am 60 or 70.

2008-12-10T02:58:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
The gas may serve one more function in my personal Guantanamo.
It soothes, it has a calming, depressing effect.
Thus it's easier to cause panic when I am outside my home.
Outside my home I am off the depressant.
I am having abstinence syndrome.

2008-12-10T02:37:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I am writing reactively.
It varies my emotions and makes me attribute certain attitudes towards various objects.
I write affectively, affectedly.
I don't think. I don't see the purpose of the writing.
Not until it's done.

England is undergoing a dramatic change from being a world centre to being a country, which international function is restricted to language and post-colonial issues. The language ought to move out to America, since there are more speakers there. Maybe the control locus should be transfered to some more democratic international institution, if English is the international language.

It is possible to compare the current situation, not only in England, with the years just before the II World War: Germany ridden by huge bills and obligations and in economic nightmare.

Thus we have sex industry, which is a form of war. Something comparable to partisan war and terrorism. Certainly these phenomena belong on the same shelf. It can be used by all sides: to punish the wrong ones, to motivate to work and for less, to punish for debts, to prevent migration cheaply, to punish vagrancy, to enjoy the process of punishment. Sex is a good motivator and it serves its function in the socioeconomical struggles as well.

We enjoy a period of economic prosperity after exterminating someone. Look at America or Britain. Germany failed to mimick the British, thus they are Nazis and they are criminals. Those who lose are losers. Tautology is truth. If Britain wasn't going down, all this wouldn't make sense.

2008-12-10T02:06:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Thus they make our muscles underdevelop (by cutting off blood supply by making one sleep uncomfortably).
- so we would not cause any trouble.
Thus they disfigure our spine (by making us tense certain muscles and adopt wrong postures)
- so we would not be likeable.
Thus they disfigure our penises (by masturbation).
- so we would not be likeable.
Thus they make us smoke cigarette, drink alcohol and use other drugs.
- in order to make us physically weak
- in order to make us calm and content, and happy, and emotionless in the end
- in order to damage our brain and body in general
- in order to pass this damage to our children.
Thus they give us acne and don't ever treat us.
Thus they make us crave to go somewhere anywhere all the time, not to stay at home and think.
Thus they play games on our computers to further frustrate us and prevent us from succeeding in education or work, or business.
Thus they give me gas leak.

2008-12-10T01:55:00.001-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I live in a fairy tale.
The college that I attend is predominantly white and does not include any ethnical minorities.
The new blacks are not included.

2008-12-10T01:42:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
They don't like that I am clever.
Therefore they give me some gas in my room.
That will result in brain damage,
which will be passed on to my children.
Isn't it great?

2008-12-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Private landlord suspended my letters:
I receive mail once every week now.

2008-12-09T13:27:00.001-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Let's jerk off.

2008-12-09T13:25:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
It's torture.
It's humilitiation.
It's to increase my resilience to frustration.
That's one of the key characteristics of drug addicts, low frustration tolerance.

2008-12-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I am calm.
Don't worry.
I am calm and I am quiet.
I am not going to misbehave.
You know that, I know.

2008-12-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
My psychosis lessens when I lower the head or when I project light into my eyes or when I lie on the floor.
Straight spine is key.
It's not even a psychosis.
My mind is paralysed.
I am brooding.
I am incapable.

2008-12-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I am psychotic.
I am constantly hallucinating.
It's been like that for about 5 years.
It's impossible.
It is though.
Artificial mental illnesses.

2008-12-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
I am a zombie or a cyborg of some sort.
I attended a lecture recently.
Towards its end I noticed that I was half-unconsciously sitting and having difficulty to understand anything. My breathing was almost gone.
I restarted breathing and woke up.

After a while there was another weird thing:
as if an explosion
I started flushing red
I recovered quickly
and noticed other people around me doing the same

2008-12-09T09:07:00.001-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Don't try to look at the sun.
As it was said below, it may have irreversable consequences.
One may go blind.

2008-12-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Another method:
closing the eye with the small pupil
looking at a light with the other eye and blinking:
trying to awaken the sleeping eye:
blinking makes the eye to readjust the size of the pupil,
since the eye controls the amount of incoming light
by adjusting the size of the pupil, the aperture.

2008-12-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
Regarding the light projection into the eye for psychosis prevention purposes.
Make sure that the light is not too strong; it may have irreversable consequences.
One may go blind if the light is too strong.
Therefore I suggest what I do myself.
A small flashlight projected into the eye while the eyes are shut.
That softens the light.

2008-12-09T08:30:00.000-08:00

I am a eunuch.
My characteristic is my eyes.
The left pupil is usually wider than the right one.
As if the right hemisphere of the brain was slightly dead in certain aspects.
I think, its responsiveness is being punished or subdued otherwise.
Projecting light directly into the left eye helps to stop extreme psychosis.
The point is one cannot remember that when psychosis starts.
Any extreme senses do: cold water, bright light and vivid or contrasty colours, tactile contact, somebody talking, sex.