Remember when you first met and fell in love with your husband? Did you float along as light as a feather, staring into each others eyes with optimism and longing, facing the unknown with passion and abundant enthusiasm?

And then (for some) did step-life happen bringing with it the weight of what it is to be a stepmother in what can sometimes be a family that has harbored unresolved conflicts, active grief, and outright rejection.

The book ‘Stepmonster’ was derived from dozens of studies in the sociological and psychological literature on step-family adjustment concluding that stepmothers have the toughest adjustment trajectory; experience high levels of anxiety; and are prone to burn-out, depletion, and even clinical depression at rates higher than mothers or stepfathers.

The book advises that;

‘Every stepmother needs three things to be and live her fullest potential. First, she needs to live inside her own skin and not vacate the premises when the trauma comes. Second, she needs to use good posture to her every advantage. And, third, she needs to remain steady with an ability to wait’.

What are your experiences and what would you advise a new step mom entering into a potentially dis-harmonic step-family?

I am interested and I am listening.

Click here for more information about stepmonster

Click here to Tell Oprah you want to see a show about stepmothers and stepchildren.

Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.

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Over the weekend Gary and I watched a film called “JUNO” (2007)

Basically 2 young 16 year old’s  make out and the inevitable happens – girl becomes pregnant.

“Described as a comedy an offbeat young woman is faced with an unplanned pregnancy and makes an unusual decision regarding the adoption of her unborn child”.

The name ‘Juno’ is also indicative of a Roman goddess, the equivalent of the Greek Hera, queen of the gods and of love and marriage.

‘Juno’ is also the protecting and guardian spirit of all females.

If you are pregnant and not sure what choices you can make then I hope this article will be of help to you;

Journeys of the Heart will help you look at all your options. The staff will assist you without pressure or judgments.

You don’t need to visit their offices to talk- You can email info@journeysoftheheart.net or, call our toll free phone number now and a friendly voice will answer at the other end, ready to talk with you.  Call free (800) 876-0575 any time, night or day, any day of the week.
Or click here;

Find out what legalities are in place when ‘Advertising your unborn child for adoption’.

And remember only you know what’s right for you and your baby.

On the other hand; if you are the ones considering adopting a child then there are thousands of children adopted every year and thousands more are waiting to be adopted.

How do birth mothers and adoptive parents get together?

Well…Usually it’s through an adoption agency, whom will handle practically all aspects of the adoption. Sometimes it can be via an independent or “private” adoption, although private adoption (as in the film) can become difficult, so it is advised that you enrol some professional help.

Click here for 10 steps to domestic adoption.

I do hope this information has been helpful to you.

Dawn Pugh Expert therapist.

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3 Tips to improve Social Wellness;

July is social wellness month. Social wellness emphasizes harmony and interdependence with others, while increasing the awareness of the impact one has on their community.

A definition of social wellness;

“a multidimensional state of being describing the existence of positive health in an individual as exemplified by quality of life and a sense of well-being.”

Source: Arizona State University.

3 tips to Improving social wellness;

1.    Learn what your personal needs are and pursue people who can meet them
2.    Accept invitations to get-togethers with friends and family
3.    Balance listening and talking when conversing and think before you speak and try to remain tactful.

Often people who are socially isolated can be more susceptible to illness and have a higher death rate, earlier in life, than those who are not socially isolated.

It has also been reported that people who maintain close relationships and friendships have higher levels of  ‘ immunoglobulin A ’, which is an antibody that keeps away respiratory infections and cavities.  So, social wellness can help promote better physical health and longer life.

Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.

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Horsing around with our emotions.

It is reported that horses are “Mirrors of emotions – Mirrors of souls”  They have an innate ability to read their environments. Apparently when we connect with horses we connect with nature and ourselves.

“Horses have an amazing way of bringing down people’s barriers,” says Lori Robison who owns Four Winds Riding Center. The center offers Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) which is rapidly becoming a successful, alternative co-treatment for PTSD sufferers. The ranch is an off the couch method of helping her PTSD sufferers.

On July 10, Gig Harbor’s ‘Four Winds Riding Center’ and ‘The Center for Hope & Renewal’ are hosting a demonstration of this remarkable partnership between horse and human.

The Equine Assisted Psychotherapy demonstration is free to mental health professionals provided they give a donation that will go toward EAP scholarships for women at New Phoebe House in Tacoma.

10012 Creviston Dr., Gig Harbor, WA 98329. You can also register by email at hopeandrenewal@live.com or by calling 253-228-9843.

Over time, people discover the horses’ innate ability to communicate and heal non-verbally, helping those to live a happier life.

Let me know if you or any one you know has had any therapeutic experiences with horses?

Dawn Pugh expert therapist.

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The Hormone of ‘Love’

Throughout history musicians, artists, poets and playwrights have been the ones who have explored, expressed and enabled some explanation towards humanity’s understanding of love.

We also know that an understanding of the ‘neurochemical’ pathways that regulate our attachments may also help to deal with people’s ability to form and maintain relationships.

When prairie voles have sex, two hormones called ‘Oxytocin’ and ‘Vasopressin’ are released. If the release of these hormones is blocked, prairie-voles’ sex becomes a fleeting affair, alternatively, if prairie voles are given an injection of the above hormones, but prevented from having sex, they will still form a preference for their chosen partner. It turns out that the prairie vole has receptors for ‘Oxytocin’ and ‘Vasopressin’ in brain regions associated with pain and pleasure.

Sex stimulates the release of vasopressin and ‘Oxytocin’ in humans, though the role of these hormones in the human brain is still under research.

These hormones do reveal something about the nature of human love.

Read more;

According to researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, who are studying the hormone ‘Oxytocin’ which is responsible for inducing labor in pregnancy, have also found that  this very same hormone may also influence our ability to create and maintain relationships with others.

The study into the hormone ‘Oxytocin’ shows a clear connection in the ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships and healthy psychological boundaries with other people.

Previous studies have given us knowledge of the important role ‘Oxytocin’ plays in the reproductive life of mammals. The hormone facilitates nest building and pup retrieval in rats, acceptance of offspring in sheep, and the formation of adult pair-bonds in prairie voles.

In humans, ‘Oxytocin’ stimulates milk ejection during lactation, uterine contraction during birth, and is released during sexual orgasm in both men and women.

Rebecca Turner, PhD, UCSF adjunct assistant professor of psychiatry and lead author of the study said;

“We decided to look at the interpersonal characteristics of individual women to see if there was a correlation with changes in their ‘Oxytocin’ levels… We found a significant difference between women who reported distress and anxiety in their relationships and women who were more secure in their relationships… It seems that having this hormone “available” during positive experiences, and not being depleted of it during negative experiences, is associated with well-being in relationships, our study indicates that ‘Oxytocin’ may be mediating emotional experiences in our close relationships.”

Read more:

The study appears in the July issue of Psychiatry.

Leave a comment if you like…

Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.

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Digging dirt is good for the Soul.

Apparently 40% of Americans find being in a garden filled with plants makes them feel calm and more relaxed.

Therapeutic gardening is fast becoming a popular method of recovery, for both physical and mental problems. This kind of therapy is reported to reduce stress, stimulate the senses, and help create bonds with nature and other people.

This can be a particularly valuable attribute for today’s stressful lives and environments.

Both Gary and myself spend as much time as we can in our gardens, just to sit and appreciate nature in it’s finest is a much needed grounding aspect that compliments our lives.

Dawn Pugh therapy expert.

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Apparently video games are harmless for the vast majority of people but can be harmful to a small minority who suffer with pre-existing personality or mental health problems.

According to a special issue of the journal Review of General Psychology published by the American Psychological Association, researchers said the games can also help to control diabetes and pain and work as a tool to complement psychotherapy, they can also benefit players by exercising visual/spatial skills and improving social networking ability.

Dawn Pugh Expert therapist.

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‘Is technology changing how we interact and relate to others?’

Social media, social networking, Twitter, YouTube, or Facebook are all tools that not only affect the way we connect to each other as people but also how we share information and communicate.

Does technology makes relationships less personal?

Is it possible to build trust or get to know people who you rarely or never see?

Words and phrases are things that are forever-changing and one thing that contributes to the fluidity of our language is technology.

Technologies create a whole new way of communicating and with it comes a different vocabulary.

Is texting’s the new form of short hand vocabulary?

Some common abbreviations used in texting are LOL (laugh out loud), OMG (oh my goodness), TTYL (talk to you later) and DOS/MOS (dad/mom over shoulder) B-R-B (Be right back).

‘What, then, are the affects of computers on our mental health?’

Stress: While the possibilities of technology have been growing, so have our expectations. When a system is not working the way we expect it to work, we get frustrated and stressed out.

Isolation: Some people take technology to an extreme level, isolating themselves away in front of their computers for days on end.

Temptation: Addictions and temptations of all kinds are catered for online.

I believe that the Internet today is viewed as an indispensable research tool used for all levels of communication as well as for social contact and entertainment.

Remembering two important things when faced with new technology and its endless boundaries: Have patience and moderation.

Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.

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New analysis published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) has reported that Antidepressant medications may not be as effective as once believed, even though these popular medications; imipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant (TCA), and paroxetine, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) have been presumed effective treatment for depressive disorders for decades.

The studies were investigations into randomized, placebo-controlled trials which were published from 1980 to 2009. The overall conclusion, was that the severity of depression increased, when the antidepressant treatment increased.

The study also showed a clinical and significant difference with antidepressant treatment compared to placebo in patients who indicated very severe depression.  The effect was reversed.

Speculating that any benefit from antidepressant therapy in mild to moderate depression may be due to the placebo effect.

Let me know what you’re thinking.

Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.

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Is it a passing trend that is based on research and interventions which are about what makes us healthy and happy rather than what’s actually wrong with us?

Recently I have been reading about positive psychology and have found that while there concepts are not really new, there is a lot to like in the values and goals, and that while there is significant overlap with certain values of Jungian therapy, there are also important differences.

These differences proposed by Positive Psychology are not meant to replace psychotherapy. Though the ideas may be used to alter the therapeutic process, the main help is not intended as a cure for depression or any other mental health issues.

And while there is overlap between Jungian analysis and some of the values that Positive Psychology present, the process is really quite different.

Jungian therapy emphasize values on; relationships, compassion, meaning and purpose, gratitude, contributing to the greater good, savoring the present, a sense of accomplishment, and changing our perceptions about difficult events and seeing them as opportunities for personal growth.

As mentioned before Positive Psychology uses research but it’s important to remember that research is based on statistics: Whilst we need to bear in mind that for many people XY or Z will work well, most concepts may not work for everyone.

Let me know your thoughts on this subject.

Dawn Pugh Therapy expert.

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