evidence of my existence

you will always have a home to go back to.

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 04:18:00 +0000

i am SO ready to be back home. where my heart won't feel so empty.

i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE living here in portland. i love this city. i love (most of) the people (besides that bastards that stole my purse). and yes, i still LOVE the rain. this is a beautiful place to be. in fact, one day, i may end up here again. but right now, my heart needs to be where my family is. the bottom line is, loving the city i live in is just not worth the price of being away from my family and lifetime friends.

when i made this move, i honestly did not expect it to be this hard to be so far away from my loved ones. and believe me, i did not come up here with ANY intention of only staying five months. i came up here solely for adventure and a personal growth opportunity, and that's excatly what i got. i have learned more about myself in the past five months than i have in five years. i have more confidence today - both personally and professionally - than i have ever had. and that is a fabulous feeling.

i wouldn't change my experience here in oregon for anything. it has opened my eyes, my heart, and my soul to many new discoveries. it just wouldn't be fair to my department or my store for me to stay here and ride out these feelings, hoping things will get better, when my heart isn't in it. i definitely feel like i am leaving something good behind at the square, and i am insanely proud of that.

unfortunately, i do not have a position waiting for me back in san diego. my fingers are crossed i find something over the next couple weeks, but this journey may mean the end of my career with the blue box. and though it breaks my heart to say it, it may be time.

i am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason". so i will hold my head high with hope in my heart and my fingers crossed.

so it goes

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 20:13:00 +0000

it's been four months and ten days.
today is the first day of spring.
a beautiful time for growth.

it's been an interesting month and a half, to say the least. a LOT has happened. and if i'm being honest, it certainly hasn't been the highlight of my time here in portland. but the time has had quite a significant impact on recent decisions and i wouldn't have it any other way.

january 24th - moma arrived in portland for her first visit. i hadn't seen her in two months and thirteen days. it was the longest we had been apart since she had moved back to san diego from georgia. we had so much planned for her visit...

shopping at powell's...

a fabulous photo walk through hawthorne...

and our first visit to san diego taco company.

january 26th - i had been dealing with some pretty intense stomach issues off-and-on for months, but when the pain woke me out of my sleep this time, i knew something wasn't right. i thank my lucky stars every day that moma was here to take me to the emergency room. it was there that i received the best medical care i had ever received. a physical exam led to an ultrasound which led to the discovery of large gall stones that were causing my pain. i was just relieved to have answers.
note: i have zero regrets about stuffing my face with that san diego taco company california burrito. so what if it caused me to have a gall bladder attack? it was the best burrito i have ever eaten. and, joking aside, it led to answers about my health that i'd had for months.

january 27th - moma flew back home to san diego.

february 5th - i was sent home from work after less than two hours because my stomach pain had become almost intolerable without pain meds (which i refused to take while i was working). i would not work again for 18 days.

february 9th - "nurse moma" arrived back in portland to care for me post-surgery. did i already mention that i thank my lucky stars for her every day?

february 10th - admitted to the local hospital for a scheduled cholecystectomy (aka gall bladder removal), again receiving absolutely world-class medical care from beginning to end. trust me, i can say that. i have 30 years of experience in and out of hospitals and medical facilities, more than most "healthy" folks my age can imagine.

february 13th - moma flew back home to san diego.

february 16th - less than a week after surgery, i flew down to san diego for some much needed hometown healing and to see two of my dear friends tie the knot. it was an absolutely beautiful six days.

spent a whole day with my favorite four-year-old and her momma.

my favorite photo from the day. ♥ ashleigh and her geek. ♥

a time for reflection. at swamis on my last night in san diego.

february 22nd - i returned to portland with a very full and heavy heart. this was really the beginning of the end.

february 23rd - my first day back at work. "light duty" for four days.

february 24th - woke up to my first snowy morning. real snow. like, i had to drive to work in it. and i survived!

march 2nd - three of my favorite girls arrive in portland for a long weekend of good eats and adventure! and maybe we got a little more adventure than we had planned for.

delicious grub from the gaufre gourmet, thanks to groupon portland!

wahkeena falls.

portland rose gardens.

it was there the "it won't happen to me" happened. while we were frolicking through the rose gardens, taking pictures of each other and the beauty around us, molly's car window was busted and three of our purses were stolen. and the rest of the afternoon was spent dealing with police reports, filing claims, trips to the bank, getting the car window repaired, and a LOT of time on the phone. day two of vacation wasted because we made a silly decision to leave our purses in the car. lesson learned.

the weekend brought happier times in medford...

...for molly's baby shower!

...and maggie's third birthday party!

march 8th - back to reality. friends are back home. i get back to work full-time. and the thought process really starts moving.

march 10th - my sister turned 22, and 22 years later i still wish things were different between us.

march 11th - after news the night before of the earthquake and tsunami in japan, word arrived that my buddy drew and his family are safe.

march 13th - a final decision is made. i'm going home. and not just for another visit. for good.

march 14th - the process of becoming a minimalist begins.

march 18th - i gave notice to my current managers. and i turned in my 30-day notice on my apartment. this is when it really sets in.

i'm going home.

blossom

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 07:16:00 +0000

january 23rd already. i have been a resident of portland, oregon for two months and thirteen days. i am having a really hard time wrapping my head around that. i feel like i have been here for at least double that time. and at the same time, how the hell did it get to be the 23rd of january already?!? the time is just flying by!

i didn't really make any real solid "resolutions" this year, but i did set a couple goals for myself for the first couple months of the year:

* get out to a show... or two... or three! DONE!
* make new friends outside of work! working on it...
* blossom! gettin' there...

so there it is. my word for 2011. BLOSSOM. my word for 2010 didn't really come to me until the end of the year, but i know for certain my word for 2011 is the right one. two months and thirteen days in, and i know i want to be here for a good while. i'm ready to unfold. to flourish. to thrive. to blossom.

courage

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 05:37:00 +0000

i didn't have an official word chosen to define my 2010, but i should have. and looking back, it'd be hard to say which word would sum it up better: CHANGE or COURAGE. i think i have to go with COURAGE. because, ultimately, the courage did lead to the change.

in late february 2010, i started toying with the idea of a career change. nothing drastic, of course - that would just be too crazy to even consider. at the time, i had been in my position as a district administrative assistant for almost exactly six and a half years. i was the longest tenured district admin in our region. i had mastered my role. i had trained my replacement. i was getting bored. don't get me wrong, i LOVED my job. just not everyday. i felt like my job had become somewhat of a "groundhog's day" - same thing, day after day, after day, after day... you get the point. but i was working monday through friday, 6:00am - 2:30pm most days. i could pretty much wear whatever i wanted to work as long we didn't have any visitors coming in that day. and not to toot my own horn too much, but i was good at what i did. REALLY good. it was hard to even consider leaving.

honestly, i never truly considered leaving the company. after all, i had been there almost 11 years at this point. i had grown up with this company. and if i am any one characteristic of a taurus more than any other, it is that i am loyal. just the thought of leaving and venturing out into a new company tied my stomach in knots. so what was i going to do? there wasn't really any opportunity for advancement in my current role. i did NOT want to move out of the san diego market. and i certainly didn't want to go back in to a store... the hours, the dress code, the customers, the holidays... no thank you!

and then it hit me. if i wanted to stay with this company, i HAD to go back in to a store. i was not going to last much longer as the district admin. i needed a challenge. i needed an opportunity to grow. dare i say, i needed a CHANGE?! and then everything started falling in place...

in early march, a job opportunity was posted for an operations supervisor in a brand new retail store. this was my chance to get out of the office. i had an extensive operations background, this was perfect for me. so why did it make me sick just thinking about applying for it? i had become so comfortable in my little administrative world that anything else just sounded daunting. and just like that, i dismissed it and threw out the idea of applying.

two weeks later, the same job was re-posted. the general manager had not found the right fit for the position in her first round of applicants. so there it was. staring me in the face. again. this time, i consulted with my massive network of co-workers-turned-friends, my boss man, my friends, and my family. every single one of them told me to go for it. my next step was talking to the general manager. if i had her support to apply, i would. and i did. when i told her i was just terribly afraid of failing, she said "i will not let you fail." it was then that i knew i was going to apply.

my official start date was april 4th.

and before i go on, i have to tell you, saying good-bye to my district admin position was one of the hardest and most emotional things i have ever done. i really did LOVE that job. so much. but it was time for me to move on.

so... a new job. a new boss. a new environment. a new work schedule. a new (again) dress code. i was heading back in to the retail store. ugh.

over the next few months, i thought about that decision i made every single day...
did i do the right thing?
was this really the best choice for me?
am i going to make it?
will this feeling of regret ever go away?

i felt like i was scraping by at work. treading ferociously, but just barely keeping my head above water. i really enjoyed being back around people, but that was about all i enjoyed. i was not happy in my new role. in fact, i was less happy back in the store then i had been in my groundhog's-day-like-admin-job. i needed to be inspired. i needed peace. i needed hope that things would get better. and that is exactly what i found.

i think it was sometime in early july, maybe even earlier than that, i stumbled on a blog that changed my life. i honestly have no idea what series of clicks through my regular blog reads led me to her, but it couldn't have happened at a better time. there it was. the sign i needed that things would get better.

artwork copyright jen lemen

i printed that out and taped it to my bedroom door so i could read it every morning on my way out, and every night on my way to bed. i made it the background image on my computer for inspiration throughout the day. heck, i even memorized it so i could recite it out loud in my car on the way to and from work. those words became part of me.

over the course of the next few weeks, i found myself head over heels with the wonderful, inspiring, beautiful blogs i was digging into: boho girl! ordinary courage! choosing beauty! kind over matter! tiny buddha! kelly rae roberts! walk slowly, live wildly! whitehot truth! and though i'm certain it wasn't, looking back, it seems like it was almost overnight that my thoughts of adventure in a journey of personal growth began blossoming.

on august 31st, i wrote this e-mail to my soul sister:

i really feel like this journey that i have been taking over the past couple months is going to lead me to portland. i will be the first to say that i always SAY i am going to do something and never do. but never in my LIFE, have i ever felt such an overwhelming pull towards somewhere i have never been. this may sound incredibly cheesy, but i really feel like the universe is pulling me there. no joke, EVERY DAY something else pops up that i take as a "sign". maybe it's all coincidence. maybe not. but, really, what do i have to lose?

it was a few days later that i decided it was time to start taking those baby steps towards another change. for many, many years i had been drawn to the music/art/homemade scene in portland, oregon. and after my adventures into the blogging world, i discovered there was much more of portland to love than i knew of before. i needed to go. i needed to see if i felt as happy there as i thought i would. so i did.

i made plans to visit molly in medford and take a short road-trip to portland to check things out. prior to my visit, i had sent an e-mail to the district staff in the portland metro area, just to plant the seed that i was looking for a change and should they have any openings for an operations supervisor or district admin, to please reach out to me. much to my surprise, i received multiple e-mails and phone calls back within just two days. everything was happening so fast! the district human resources manager wanted to meet with me when i came in on my mini visit. everything seemed very promising. the way it was all falling into place was almost too good to be true.

i spent less than 30 hours in portland in mid-october. and i knew it was where i needed to be. and it scared me out of my mind. moving?! to another state?! by MYSELF?! there was no way i could do that. HOW could i do that?!

a week passed. i interviewed over the phone for an operations supervisor in a store just south of portland. and a week later, i was job offered to start the week before thanksgiving. so not only would i have to survive transferring to a new store in a new district, i would have to survive starting there the week before black friday?! hahaha! this was going to be exciting.

i'll skip over all of the not-so-fun details about how i managed to make the move financially (thank the heavens above for dear friends and family), research and find a new apartment all through the glorious interweb, dealt with a third-party moving company to load, haul and unload all of my belongings, and say good-bye to all of my friends, family and co-workers-turned-friends. those two weeks were the most emotional weeks of my adult life. and i can proudly say, it was the strongest i had ever been... to that point.

on november 8th, with my moma in the passenger seat next to me, i drove away from everything that was familiar to me. my entire existence, i had lived in a 50ish-mile radius of san diego. and it was all in the rear view mirror. i became a resident of portland on november 10th. and november 11th, i waved good-bye to my moma as i dropped her off at the airport to head back to san diego. i cried the entire way home. i was just overwhelmed with emotion. as i drove away, it hit me that i was ALONE. i had NO ONE here. but this was what i signed up for. i wanted a personal growth opportunity. and i wanted to push myself outside of any sort of comfort zone i created.

i got settled in to my new apartment fairly quickly, within days of my belongings arriving. i had to. i had to feel like i was "home". i had to have the comfort of familiar things around me. i quickly learned that though i may be working for the same company, the retail locations outside of the southern california market are run quite differently. i almost feel like i stepped back ten years on the company's timeline. but that's another story for another day.

i survived my first black friday back in a store after seven years. i survived the retail holiday hours and last-minute rush of customers. and i made a best friend at work, two of them actually. (one of whom took me in for her family's thanksgiving and christmas celebrations, so i would not be alone... so sweet!)

so that's my 2010. i asked for an adventure. and i got one. if anyone had told me at the beginning of 2010 that i would be going back in to a store within six months, i would have laughed in their face. or if they had told me i would be leaving all of my friends and family behind to move to another state by the end of the year, i would have recommended they get their head checked. it's funny how life plays out when courage gets in the way.

everyday deserves a soundtrack

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 00:01:00 +0000

I guess I've kind of been in a list-making mood lately. I think my Mom rubs off on me. After much research and hours of double-checking Wikipedia for official release dates, I've compiled my list of favorite songs of 2008 (this time, in order of impact on my existence).

1 - City & Colour, "Sleeping Sickness"
2 - Adele, "Crazy For You"
3 - Paramore, "Decode"
4 - Jason Mraz, "If It Kills Me"
5 - Kings of Leon, "Sex on Fire"
6 - MGMT, "Electric Feel"
7 - Death Cab For Cutie, "I Will Possess Your Heart"
8 - The Bravery, "Believe"
9 - The Kooks, "Always Where I Need To Be"
10 - Lenka, "The Show"

And for kicks, my favorite "new-to-me" music for 2008:
The Spill Canvas - album: One Fell Swoop

Here's a toast to the music that we live to. And to a 2009 of new music...

i smell home cookin'

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 05:38:00 +0000

I don't even remember why I decided to make this list, I think it just came to me one day. I've been thinking about this one for a while now, though. Trying to jog my memory, making sure I don't forget anything.

My Top 10 All-Time Favorite Homemade Foods
(in no order, other than how I wrote them on my note paper)

1. Nanny's Egg Salad
2. Carmen's Albondigas Soup
3. Carmen's Mexican Rice
4. Aunt Sherry's Potato Salad
5. Moma's Meatloaf
6. Moma's Fluff
7. Brenda's Coconut Cake
8. Brenda's London Broil
9. Teri's Yorkshire Pudding
10. Teri's Macaroni & Cheese

It's funny to read this list now, considering it's been YEARS since I've had more than 70% of the foods I've listed. Oh, what I would give to taste them today.

Damn. Now I'm hungry.

the trees

noreply@blogger.com (jules) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 06:54:00 +0000

I’m not sure that, ever in my whole life, have I experienced something more beautiful. The crisp wind blowing so gently through the trees. Magnificent trees. Trees that could tell us decades of stories. Stories we could never begin to imagine. Stories not of death, but of life. Of the life that surrounds them. The life of those that left us behind.

As the sun peaks through the clouds, and shines just for a second on the grounds below the trees, I imagine a child chasing that flurry of red and orange leaves across the grass. It’s so quiet. The only sounds you can hear is that of the wind in the trees and the faint chirps of a bird hiding somewhere. I watch as family and friends come and go. Not one paying any attention to the other. It’s poinsettia season. A sea of red patches covers the green grass, still damp from the morning’s rain. It’s quite festive actually. I imagine the trees must love this time of year.

I sit there for what seems like hours. Nothing has ever felt so peaceful. So safe. I sit there wishing I wasn’t alone. Wishing I was sharing this beautiful moment with someone. Wishing I didn’t miss her so, so very much. Wishing that I didn’t miss her more every year, every day.

So often, I find myself wondering if she is proud of me. If she thinks I am beautiful. If she can hear me when I talk to her. I wonder if she knows how much I miss her. Just once, I wish I could hear her say she is proud of me. That she thinks I am beautiful. That she is with me. Just once.

As I lay, watching the clouds pass over, noticing the sky get darker, the wind whispers in my ear, “Never settle.” I don’t understand what that means to me today. But I am confident that the day those words are supposed to be clear to me, I will know she was here. She was here the whole time. I wasn’t alone. She was sitting with me, listening to my cries, drying my tears, and encouraging my dreams.

It was in that very moment that tiny drops of rain started to fall from the sky. And I sat there. Just sat there. Coincidence? Maybe. But I’d like to believe it was just her confirming she was watching over me.

We may not ever understand the world we live in. Or ever get life’s questions answered. But we must believe that there is a reason for everything. And have hope that one day we will understand. And we will get our answers.

Until then, the trees will always be there to listen.

life is a choice

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 06:43:00 +0000

I think we often lose sight of what this world is really all about. We get so wrapped up in ourselves and satisfying our wants, that we forget who we really are and why we are here.

This world is so much bigger than us. Even bigger than we can imagine. We're only in this body for such a short time that we must make the very best of what life throws our way. We must not waste a single second. Everything we do, every choice we make, every word we speak - must count for something.

And sometimes it just takes one person to open your eyes to this. One person that has been there all along. One person that really gets it. One person that you understand better than you even understand yourself. And your life may never be the same.

Life is more than this. Make the most of the time you're given.

Thank you, Jason. Thank you for believing. And thank you for saving me. You may not know it, but you did.

the year of bond

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 05:38:00 +0000

That's right, folks. Welcome to 2007.

What a party last night! Definitely one of the highlights of 2006. No drama. No cops. Just fun. And killer music. Loose Canon played an amazing set. I tell you, those boys just get better and better. I am more impressed with them each show. And so proud at how far they've come. What a wonderful way to ring in the new year.

Tomorrow is back to the real world. No more holidays off for a while.

Time to put my resolutions into actions. Time to make a change.

ringing in 2007

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 04:43:00 +0000

Posting early tonight. Loose Canon is playing a show in the complex courtyard tonight. Hell yeah. I hope they don't get shut down. I don't have to leave my porch and I am going to get one hell of a show. I hope they have a good surprise in store (or a few).

On a separate note, I am so glad tonight is the last official day of Holidailies. Whoohoo! Now I can post when I want to and how much I want to. Although it was kind of fun to challenge myself throughout December.

Here's a toast to the year past and the memories we've made. And a toast to the year to come and the memories we've yet to create.

Live. Laugh. Love. Be well.

we put the "fun" in dysfunctional

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 07:30:00 +0000

I love my family. You know, like every family, we have our ups and downs. We have our disagreements, arguments, blow-outs, etc., etc. But we always stand by one another. We love each other. We make it work.

We decided in mid-2006, that instead of exchanging birthday gifts with one another, we were going to let the person whose birthday it is pick where they want to eat. We will make it a family outing and everyone attending chips in on the birthday person's meal. Genius. It's quite fun actually. We get to try new restaurants and the birthday person gets to eat for free at their favorite place!

Tonight: Kole's (late) birthday dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory.

I tell you what. When my birthday comes along, we are going our for SUSHI!!! Oh yeah. Most of my family doesn't eat sushi, but it doesn't matter. I get to pick. They can order chicken teriyaki or something. I'm gettin' me some sushi.

Speaking of birthdays... am I really going to be 27 this year?!

Yep. I sure am.

Wow.

mac and cheese

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 07:12:00 +0000

This is comedy. I am still pretty sick. Still talking through my nose. Still only able to hear out of one ear. But dammit I can laugh. Kathie came over tonight. I tell you, I could be in the hospital, my life about to end, and Kathie could make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. It's really nice to have once of those friends. It's even nicer when she is drunk and she is a true comedian. I'm sure it wouldn't be funny if I was drunk. But it feels really great to be able to laugh when I've felt so crappy for the past week.

Thank goodness for second best friends.

random nothingness

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 04:23:00 +0000

Things I just feel like saying...

* I watched Little Miss Sunshine tonight. LOVED it. I wanna watch it again.
* I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest tonight. I was very disappointed.
* I am ready to feel well again. I am tired of wanting to sleep all day.
* I can't believe that New Year's Eve is only three days away.
* I hope I feel better before New Year's Eve.
* I love playing board games.
* Incubus' new album Light Grenades will change your life.
* Clinique's Facial Soap for oily skin is amazing.
* I will be so glad when December is over. This Holidailies thing is working me.

it's a love/hate relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 02:32:00 +0000

I hate having a sore throat, runny nose and head congestion. I hate waking up in the middle of the night in a coughing fit. I hate having so much pressure in my head that my ears hurt. I hate getting out of breath just walking to the bathroom. I hate only being able to breathe through my mouth. I hate having chapped lips because I can only breathe through my mouth. I hate having watery eyes, or better yet, only one watery eye.

Simply put - I hate being sick.

But I do love me some Kleenex with Lotion. Thank the heavens above for that.

it's all fun and games

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 05:49:00 +0000

Another picture today. An old friend came in from Arizona tonight. We have a tradition to play UNO everytime we hang out, though tonight we did not play as long as we usually do. I'd rather argue with him.

and a merry christmas it was

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 06:14:00 +0000

Already proudly wearing a gift from Moma...

Merry Christmas! I hope Santa was as good to everyone else as he was to me.

...'cause santa claus comes tonight

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 05:44:00 +0000

It's really hard to believe it's Christmas Eve. Unbelievable. I'm done cooking. I'm done wrapping. I'm ready to celebrate!

The kids are opening their traditional Christmas Eve gift. Ahhh... to be a kid again. I remember getting to open a gift on Christmas Eve. I always had the gift picked out days in advance. I knew exactly which one I wanted to open early. These kids don't really care which one they open, they just want to open something.

I love Christmas. I really do. I love every aspect of it. Even the lack of parking at the malls.

Best wishes to all for a safe and happy Christmas.

P.S. Dear Santa - I have been really good this year.

gettin' down to the wire

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 07:36:00 +0000

I am exhausted. It was quite a long night last night. The drama went on 'till almost three o'clock in the morning. At least things seem to have calmed down now. I didn't sleep well at all. I woke up early, got ready and headed up to Molly's. We spent the afternoon together, went to lunch and did our gift exchange. I also dealt with a flat tire late this afternoon while I was visiting Molly. Fun, fun!

When I came home this evening, home being Aunt Sherry's house (where I am staying for the weekend), I wasn't home for 30 minutes and then I was back out the door to finish up my shopping. Went to the grocery store to buy the stuff to make the pumpkin dip and two batches of fudge. Then headed to Target to get some stocking stuffers.

Now I'm home. And I'm ready for bed. Seriously ready for bed. I am going to sleep good tonight. Sweet dreams, my friends.

d.r.a.m.a.

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Sat, 23 Dec 2006 07:50:00 +0000

Ugh! I guess it wouldn't be the holidays without a little bit of family drama. Or in my case, a LOT of drama. Tonight my Aunt Sherry had her Yule party. And a party it was. We played Drinko, a drunken twist on The Price Is Right's Plinko. A few of us had a little but too much to drink and things got a little crazy. A LOT crazy.

It's almost midnight now, things have calmed down quite a bit. But for a while there I wasn't sure things were going to turn out so good.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring to light a lesson learned. And not just hang-overs for us all.

we must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 02:57:00 +0000

I've got little time tonight, which is good because I don't have a lot to say. I've got to go wrap a kabillion presents. Well not really a kabillion, but a LOT. I will have no time the next few days. Well, no free time.

Tomorrow night is Aunt Sherry's Yule party. It's also payday. So that means I get to finish all my last-minute shopping. Saturday morning I am meeting with Molly to do our gift exchange. Then going straight from Molly's to meet with Joann and the kids for lunch. Saturday night I am going to the JAC show in PB. Then freakin' Sunday is Christmas Eve. Sunday. Ugh! I wish I had at least an extra day. Or wish I could at least take tomorrow off. I think I might try to go in again early so I can leave early. That would help with lack of time.

So good luck to all you last-minute shoppers. And be safe out there on the streets. 'Tis the season for the crazies.

NOTE: Today's title brought to you by John F. Kennedy

picture me

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 05:04:00 +0000

I kind of like the idea of posting a new picture everyday. I am participating in the 365days Challenge on Flickr, where I post a new self-portrait everyday for 365 consecutive days. Today was day 34. Only day 34. Crazy. I think it might be kind of cool to write about a new picture each day. Not necessarily my 365days shot, but a new picture. I figure this will also help with the lack of writing inspiration. Let's give it a shot!

There is peace and rest and comfort in sorrow. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Twelve Christmas' without you. It's not getting any easier.
Merry Christmas, Nanny. I love you.

they're heeeere...

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 06:22:00 +0000

Whoohoo!!! Moma and Bret are HOME!!! I can't believe it. It feels like they are just visiting. I just can't believe they're back for good!

I went over to see them after my Holiday visit with Heaven and Presley this evening. I can't wait to actually spend some real, quality time with them. I am going into work early tomorrow, so that I can leave early in the afternoon. I'm not sure what we are going to do, but I really don't care. It's going to be so nice just to be with my Moma again. I missed her so damn much.

This is going to be the best Christmas EVER! ♥

i don't know how much longer i can do this

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 06:05:00 +0000

Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. ~ Author Unknown

i failed already.

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 05:50:00 +0000

OK. So today was supposed to be the kick-off of my new blogging goal. Yea, that didn't go so well. I wanted to have something prepared and well thought out. I wanted to post earlier in the day. And here I am again, almost 11 PM, with nothing solid to write about.

At least it was a productive day. I woke up pretty early again today. Did some cleaning, uploaded pictures to Flickr, made seven batches of fudge for Office gifts, and wrapped Presley's Christmas present. Kathie came over late this afternoon just to hang out. I ate some yummy Mexican food for dinner. And watched The Zodiac - a movie based on the true events of the Zodiac Killer. Since Emily told me the history of the Zodiac Killer, I have formed a slight fascination with the story. For the Secret Santa gift exchange, Emily gave me the DVD movie. **shivers**

Time to watch the Survivor finale. I didn't get a chance to watch it live, just too much going on. Can't wait to see who wins! I'm hoping for Ozzy, that guy is the greatest player I have ever seen.

Oh yeah... Go Chargers! 20-9 against Kansas City. I'm not a sports fan at all, but I gotta be a cheerleader for my hometown team! Whoohoo!!!

an aunt grows more precious as time goes by

noreply@blogger.com (Jewli) — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 07:45:00 +0000

What a busy, busy day. I woke up with the sunrise this morning. I was ready and out of the house before 8:30 AM. On my day off. Why? Because I was spending the day with my Aunt Sherry.

Since I moved down to OB, I have been able to spend a lot more time with my family, which has been really good for me. Not just to strengthen the bond between us, but also it helps me deal with my Moma being so far away. I have especially become very close to my Aunt Sherry. Her and I have so much fun together. Mostly shopping. We both LOVE to shop. LOVE. We are always going out to eat. I mean, I partied in Vegas with my Aunt. And I had a blast! Not very many people can say that.

So to the best Aunt in the world: Thanks for mothering me a little and befriending me a lot. Love you!