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(Emphasis mine)

Boy…does that guy have the wrong website or WHAT???

Kev: mmmfffffzzzzz

ESC: Guess what?

Kev: mmfffwutzzz?

ESC: SothismorningIwokeupat8becauseyouweresnoringandIwasgoingtogosleeponthecouchbutinsteadImadeespressoandhadaMOCHA!!!

Kev: oohhhzmmmzzz

ESC: SothenIcouldn’tgobacktosleepsoIdecidedtomakeanapplepie! ImadepieanditsmellssogoodrightnowandIjustcan’tsleep,youknow?  Idon’tknowwhy!

Kev: uhhuhzzzz

ESC: andthenIfeltbadbecauseIwastwitteringaboutthepieandmyknitfriendsmightbebutthhurtbecauseI’mnotbringing

thepiesoIthoughtmaybeI’dmakebrowniestooandnowIhavethebrowniesintheovenanditsmellslikechocolateandapples

andOMGdidImentionIalreadyhadamochabecauseIamSOAWAKErightnowandIjusthaveallthisenergywhichisweird

becauseIdidn’tgettobeduntil3lastnightbutWOWI’mawakenowandMOCHA!!!!

Kev: zzzzzzz

ESC: Kev?  Are you trying to sleep?

Kev: zzzzz…going….to….strangle….you…zzzz…..

Homemade apple pie! Fueled by MOCHA!!!!

But I may have lost my head.  I don’t know if Kev will ever recover from this.  Since I fell down on this, we haven’t really talked about it.  He just shook his head and went back to making chili.  He’s quiet now…so quiet…

My luvah?  My new obsession?  The one I can no longer be without?

The Droid.

As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it.  No, wait, I didn’t need to see it…only HEAR of it.  Hear of it’s sleek design, it’s slide out keyboard, it’s many useful aps….ooooohhhh baby…I’m getting all worked up just THINKING about it.

Our love is unnatural but pure.

DON’T YOU JUDGE US!!!!

It was fate, I tell you, FATE!  Especially when my manager at work handed out $100 american express cards to the team that spent all week – ALL WEEK – working on a super important project that absolutely had to be done by today, and DID get done, after 60+ hours (overtime, w00t!) of intense work.  So delicious on a mix of too little sleep and too much caffeine, and gripping my gift card tightly, I stumbled into the Verizon store, demanded a Droid, and upgraded to a data plan.

It’s true love, I tell you.  Now we just need some quality time alone to get to know each other.  I’m sure Kev will understand.

/ if you see some weird posts around here, I’ll be trying out some posting aps.  Maybe I’ll start posting more!  Maybe…

iz been ruff week around here, let me tell u.  dere waz penut butter too far in jar for me to reach.

dere were stuffies to be nommed

wut?

u want to nom stuffie too?  pls?  I’z so bored.  Mama’s sick and bizzy with her strings.

she made arm sox

and one feet sox

is boring.  so i nap

and nap moar.  iz hard life for a dog.

Sorry.

So anyway, Kev is back, we’re lying in bed, and I’m busy greeting him in a manner that is appropriate for a woman to greet her man back from the hunt car repair excursion, when I realize I have to sneeze.

ESC: *looks away* ah…ah…AH…AH…!!!!!! *FPBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!*

dead silence, as that was totally the wrong end for a sneeze to come out of

Kev: uh huh

ESC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA OMG I didn’t even know I had to fart, that was totally involuntary, I’M SO SORRYAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

He missed me so much.

*****

More posts and vacation pictures coming soon, I promise!

Last weekend we drove out to Birmingham, AL, which is our halfway meetup point to hang out with my in-laws.  They needed their turn to celebrate Kev’s birthday with him, and I needed an obscene amount of seafood – it was win-win!  We met up at the Fish Market (warning, creepy Greek dude talks to you on that website).  Most of the restaurant is self-serve, where you order and pick up your food at a counter.  But we sat in the small full service section, and had a New York City boy as a waiter – surreal.  The food was awesome, and after we gorged, we wanted around the fresh fish counter and gourmet food market.  The persuasive fish monger talked me into buying a dozen frozen deviled crabs, some imported greek feta, and a large filet of amberjack, which he swore tastes like mahi-mahi.

note – it does!  I blackened it and served it in tacos.  YUM!

Afterwards we wandered out to the parking lot to say goodbye, when we discovered that an impromptu Mustang party had showed up.  So we hung out and admired the pretties.

oh yeah, baby

This week DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGED on as I counted down the days to VACATION.

I’m still counting.  Vacation starts Monday.

In the mean time, I’ve been distracting myself as much as possible.

With fiber:

252 yards of BFL singles

and knitting:

Myrtle leaf shawl, halfway completed, for mom’s birthday…which was Thursday.  Whoops!

Pretty nice, huh?  Right Sadie?  Sadie?  SADIE!

she never listens to me when she has a pig ear

I’ll be MIA for the next week – roughing it on the sunny beaches of South Carolina.  With my entire family…hmmm…this could be really awesome or really horrible.  Either way, I’ll blog about when I get back!

Keep in mind, I don’t measure very well.  And I would probably do certain things differently if I made this again (I’ll put those notes in italics).  I use a buttered, nonstick springform pan to make my cheesecakes.  I wrap the bottom and sides of the pan in a few layers of foil so that it doesn’t get soggy in the water bath.  I also don’t have a roasting pan big enough to fit the springform, so I use a half baking pan filled with water.  It’s enough to keep mine from cracking.

Ginger Pear Cheesecake

GINGER PEAR PUREE:

note: I could have doubled this to make a stronger flavor.  I definitely would have added more ginger.  As is, it makes a subtle, fruity flavor with just a hint of ginger.  If you want a stronger flavor, make more!

• 3 pear, cored and roughly chopped into pieces (I used red pairs)
• 1/3 cup sugar
• half inch of fresh ginger root, grated fine (I would double or triple this next time)
• 1 cup water

Put all ingredients in sauce pan and bring to boil.  Turn down heat and simmer to reduce.  When pears are soft, mash with potato masher (for chunkier texture) or puree with immersion blender.  Keep simmering until reduced and thick, and most of the water is gone.  Let cool.

CRUST:

• two double handfuls of gingersnap cookies
• 1/4 cup melted butter

Put cookies in ziplock bag, seal, and then gently smash with whatever implement you have on hand.  You want it all crushed, but not all crumbs.  Open bag, pour in butter, seal, and then SMOOSH SMOOSH SMOOSH butter all around crushed cookies.  Pour into springform pan.  Tamp down with bottom of juice glass.  Use enough cookie to cover bottom of pan and make a small lip up sides.  Eat the rest.  Hide it from you husband, otherwise he’ll steal it.

Bake at 350F for 10 minutes.  Remove from oven and let cool

FILLING:

• 16oz/4 packages cream cheese (room temp)
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 4 egg yolks
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• ginger pear mixture

In mixer, mix cream cheese and sugar together until smooth.  Add eggs and yolks one at a time, allowing each to incorporate fully before adding the next.  Add sour cream and ginger pear mixture.  Pour filling into spring form pan (sides buttered, bottom wrapped in foil) and gently rap the filled pan on the counter to eliminate air bubbles.  Place in boiling water bath (roasting pan or sheet pan) in oven and bake for 1 hour 15 minutes at 350F (check after an hour – should be wobbly but not TOO wobbly).  Turn off oven, crack open door, and let everything cool down.  Then cover cheesecake and put in fridge overnight.

The next day, carefully remove springform pan (run knife around edges if needed), slice, serve, and enjoy!

And also a big FUCK YOU to my insurance company that wouldn’t cover the GENERIC cream that would have given me much quicker relief.

So that’s enough of that.

Earlier this month our washing machine began expressing its distaste at being used by attempting to escape from the laundry room during every spin cycle, and subsequently tearing a small hole in our BRAND NEW FUCKING FLOOR.  This was not acceptable, and since we don’t exactly have the cash to plop down $400 for a brand new machine, it was TO CRAIGSLIST for us.

craigslist washer #1 – $50.  beautiful condition.  Sadly, had crack in tub, and water gushed EVERYWHERE during our test load.  sorry, downstairs neighbors.  Go refund.

craigslist washer #2 – $40.  Still in good shape, but spin cycle only worked for a few of the settings.  Returned, got refund.

OK, craigslist, you had your chance.

So it was to the discount appliance scratch n dent stores with us!  We drove around atlanta all afternoon on saturday, sweating our butts off in the hotlanta sun, looking for a washer in a  post 1982 that was around $100.

Folks, it is DEPRESSING what people want for really shitty old washing machines.

The last place we tried was owned by…um…a bit of a character.  His washing machines were by far the nicest of the bunch, but he wanted $170 for them and that was just too much.  However, we ended up sticking around and chatting with him for a bit…and then it got weird.  VERY weird.

He started talking about Mayans.  And how their calendar predicts a cosmic shift in 2012.  And that happened when neanderthals were around, and then they WEREN’T around, and our ancestors starting building pyramids.  And the catholic church admits that angels are probably aliens.  And he kept talking about Mayans.  And our ancestors.  And how they knew THINGS because they looked at the stars.  THE STARS!  The Mayans knew about stars.  THINK ABOUT IT.

It was getting kind of freaky folks. And I know freaky because I attract the freaks like FLIES.  Kev was just standing there next to the guy, as trapped as I was.  I was calculating the effort it would take to vault over the row of washers and dryers blocking me from the exit, when the guy finished his sermon and said the ONLY THING he could have said to keep me running out of the store screaming.  “I tell you what, any of my $170 washers, I’ll sell to you for $130.  Including tax.”

SOLD, crazy dude!

So now I have a brand new NICE washing machine with lots of knobs and settings that is quiet and has not leaked or tried to escape yet.  KNOCK ON WOOD.

how YOU doin’?

This was NOT the most awesome bargain from the day, though.  Saturday was FULL! of awesome bargains.  Like the garage sale we stopped in on, hoping they’d have a washer.  And instead I found a BRAND NEW NEVER USED king size wool/alpaca blend blanket by some fancy italian company.  I can’t find this particular blanket online, but the company’s other stuff is hundreds to THOUSANDS of dollars.  The wool blanket on their site is $700.  This has alpaca in it, which surely raises the cost.  I got it for….

$18.

Hells yeah, baby.

Later that night we went out with friends for an early celebration of Kev’s birthday, as well as a “we haven’t seen each other in HOW LONG???” reunion.

Drinks at the Brickstore Pub, followed by a giant meal at Parker’s on Ponce, where Kev and I shared a “porterhouse for 2,” cooked medium rare, covered in blue cheese,  and accompanied  sides of marinated mushrooms and black truffle mac and cheese.  OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, it was delicious.  Followed by a coffee and a dessert of flourless chocolate cake topped with dulce de leche ice cream.  DECADENT.  And pricey.  Good thing Kev’s birthday is only once a year.

The party wasn’t over, as we stumbled full and slightly drunk to Twain’s, Decatur favorite billiards bar.  We had a short wait before we could get a pool table, which we filled with more drinks.

And then we pretended to be awesome pool sharks, running the tables and making FAT SCRATCH, yo.

The reality was, it took us an hour to play 2 and a half games.

Elizabeth cheated when she was too drunk to hit the cueball straight:

Kev and I rocked the table…in a non dirty way.

And a good time was had by all.

Today, I’m just a tad hungover, and am catching up on a MOUNTAIN of dirty laundry.   Tonight I made Kev’s birthday cheesecake.

No such personal boundaries exist with a UTI.  No sooner do those letters leave your lips than the interrogation begins.

SO, when we last left my urinary tract, I was happily popping cipro and drinking cranberry juice, and all was right with the world.  But not 10 minutes after clicking “publish” on that last blog post, I began feeling weird again.  Pressure.  Pain. Burning.

today’s blog post brought to you by TERRIFYING DEATH VAGINA!  JESUS CHRIST, GET IN THE CAR IT’S A DEATH VAGINA!

I made a mental note to maybe go see my doctor the next morning and went on with my day.  That night the weird feeling turned into throbbing and pain and sadness, and I informed Kev that if he truly loved me, he would drive me to walgreens for the AZO stuff that turns your pee orange and makes the pain go away.  He was initially reluctant, but then when I kept going on about PAIN! IN! VAGINA REGION! and threatened to go into detail, he got his keys.

I made it through the night and the next morning made a beeline for my doctor’s office, who confirm the diagnosis and sent me on my merry way with a prescription for cipro, to apparently kill the anthrax that had taken up residence in my urinary tract.

Then I went home and drank cranberry juice and thought up of creative ways of describing my urine for the rest of the day (”marigold sunset”).

As most people who have met me know, I have no verbal filter.  Basically, when I meet you, if I decide I like you, you are immediately in my inner circle and I will share intimate details about my life with you.  “Hello, I’m Regan.  Let me tell you about this weird mole on my butt…” * Of course you want to know these things, you’re in my inner circle!  What was your name again?

* just kidding, there’s no mole on my butt.  it’s on my groin**

**no it isn’t.

Because of this, and because I’ve never worked in an environment where there was such a thing as “oversharing,” I have blurted out my condition to almost everyone at work today.  Women, at least.  Give me some credit.  Typical conversation in bathroom:

I flush and leave stall, joining coworker at sinks

coworker: Is it time to go home yet? Hahaha!

ESC: I know, right?  I’m so busy trying to catch up.  I was out yesterday.

coworker: *drying hands* oh really?

ESC: yeah, I had a UTI.

coworker: oh…that sucks…

ESC: yeah, geez, I hate those things.  so painful, right?

coworker: *edges towards door* yeeeeeeah…

ESC: doctor gave me cipro!  haha!  like I have anthrax!

coworker: *clawing desperately at door handle* GLAD YOU’RE FEELING BETTER, BYE!!!

ESC: *shouting after them* AND MY PEE IS STILL ORANGE!  HAHAHA!  SO WEIRD, RIGHT?

No one ever invites me to eat lunch with them.  Not sure why.