11:30:39 PM: Switched seats-now i get to nap

12:34:59 AM: Hello virginia!

12:49:04 AM: Brrrrr-It is Fucking COLD in va

4:19:54 AM: Coming out of the WV mountains

I have been busy, and I haven’t.  Really, I have no excuse, other than laziness.   And a total block on what to write when I get home from work and am sitting in front of my laptop.  I don’t post from work, yet it’s at work that I get a zillion ideas for posts.  One day I will just email myself these little brain turds and try to work them into coherent blog posts, but not now.  Now, I’m busy.

We’re heading north for a visit to my family over the holiday.  I expect it to be jam packed with visiting family, eating lots of food, and maybe even a ride on the Thunderbolt.  I will definitely be twittering, I might even blog (have to try out my parent’s new fiber optic service – oooooo!).

In the meantime, entertain youselves by going here and ridiculing my awesome hair and one-piece.  DON’T EVEN!  I KNOW YOU DRESSED JUST LIKE THAT AT SOME POINT!!!!

ESC: yep!

Kev: uh huh, REAL healthy, babe.

ESC: what?  what did YOU have for breakfast???

Kev: a brownie and a glass of milk!  MUCH healthier!

sort of a deflated, sparkly gay sea urchin vibe going on

Well, this is what it looked like earlier this week:

on guest bed, blocking.  sans guest.

and THIS is what it looked like earlier today:

only made more gorgeous by my pale legs under khaki shorts

So whew!  That was a process.  Exactly two months start to finish, and that was with me being my lazy self with a fairly mindless lace pattern.

This next time, I will have to apply myself:

the multicolor yarn is for the cast on edge and the lifeline…it is not a horrendous design decision

This is the myrtle leaf shawl from Victorian Lace Today.  My mother, in SPITE of me pointing out all the glorious non-mohair yarns at Knitch, and in SPITE of me showing her numerous simple shawls on ravelry, picked this yarn (Kidsilk haze) and this pattern for her birthday shawl.  Because she is my mother and is destined to torture me for all my days.

don’t let her innocent wii bowling pose fool you, she IS evil

So I am knitting with mohair during atlanta summer with only a portable air conditioning unit to keep my hands from getting sticky.  And I have until the end of August to finish.

Not a problem.

I am focusing on soft fluffy things right now, because other things have happened this week that make me sad.  Things are OK at work, but they could be better, and I wish I was more certain of my future there.

My dad lost his job.  He’s 60 and can’t retire yet because the economic clusterfuck of the last year has trashed their retirement savings.

Prop 8 was upheld by the California courts – champions of ignorant bigotry rejoice.

A champion of women’s rights was gunned down in his own church.  A woman will never have full and equal rights in this country unless she has control over her own body.

All these things make my heart hurt.

So I focus on other things.  Things that make me happy.  Like my knitting.  And spare ribs.  And beer.

I focus on the small happy things that make me happy.

I spent it with the King.  Well, at least with some of his friends and relatives, who were tour guides at his birthplace.  You can see all the excitement here:

The rest of the weekend was spent eating, eating some more, going to see Star Trek, eating, giving Sadie her summer haircut, eating, squirt gun fights, and oh yes, EATING!  Good god, I’ve been waking up in cold sweats at night with the terrifying echo of “do ya’ll want any more banana pudding?” in my ears.

Sadie had fun playing water ballons.

step 1. fill water balloon

step 2. throw water balloon

step 3. fetch water balloon

step 4. put balloon in bucket

Do not question the logic of Sadie.  She knows what she is doing.

She also has a spiffy new haircut.

In other news, I FINISHED SHIPWRECK!  I blocked it tonight

big shawl!  that’s our full sized guest bed

I didn’t block it harshly – I couldn’t figure out how to do that without weirdly warping the center circle, which is the only thing you’re supposed to block.  the “faggoting” lace on the outside (shut up, that’s what it’s called) with the beads is just supposed to dry naturally, for a more organic feel.  Speaking of beads…

That’s a lot of beads.  And it’s only around 3500 of them…not the 5000 beads the pattern called for.  WHAT KIND OF SADISTIC BITCH WRITES A PATTERN USING 5000 PRESTRUNG BEADS???  OK, OK, it’s an awesome pattern, so I forgive her.  And she gave me good advice – string 1000 at a time.  Then when you run out, break the yarn, string 1000 more, and join.

The only alteration to the pattern was to the 3rd chart.  I was told the pattern was wrong, and some friends of mine came up with a corrected chart.  I didn’t knit the 3rd chart, so I don’t know if it was true, or if it was and the pattern has since been fixed.  But it turned out looking just like the picture, so I’m satisfied with the fix!

I can’t wait for it to finish drying.  I am going to wear this sucker EVERYWHERE!  ESPECIALLY in september when we’re at the beach.  I am SO going to imitate the pic on the pattern page – wind sweeping through my hair and the shawl, waves in the distance…oh yeah, it’s goig to be a AWESOME!!!

I promise better posting when I get back!

That was back in March.  Take a look NOW:

click for notes

Greeeeeen!  Our little seedlings took off like rockets, and I planted them last weekend.  I have tons leftover, and if I have time, I’ll throw a bunch into dixie cups and take them to knitch tomorrow for distribution.

Where are the tomatoes, you ask?

Upside down!  Kev cut holes into the bottom of some hanging baskets.  I put in a large square of burlap and cut slits in it.  I filled the pots with dirt, and then shoved the seedling blocks through the burlap slits, and then planted basil in the top!  It’s a little eerie…literally withing a couple hours, the tomatoes had started to twist around to right themselves up! 

They are…aware…

Today I planted some rosemary and thyme picked up at the walmarts.  I try rosemary every year.  It always dies.  I do not want your advice.  It will not work.  I have tried lots of water, just a little water, lots of fertilizer, less fertilizer, no fertilizer…EVERYTHING.  It does well until around late June into July, and is fried by the hotlanta sun.

I keep trying, though.  Because I AM INSANE.

Next on our home improvement list…

“Comfortable” is not a compliment.  Not for women.  So when you look me up and down and tell me that I look “comfortable today,” you are basically telling me that I look like shit.  Which I DON’T, thankyouverymuch.  I look cute, and yes, COMFORTABLE in my brown skirt/green top outfit and sandals, but that’s not something you say to POTENTIAL FEMALE CUSTOMERS.

I realize that you feel smug and superior in your role as Sooper Important Jewelry Store Employee.  But face it: you work in a mall.  And maybe it’s the Nicest Mall in Birmingham, AL, but bitch please…that’s like saying you’re the classiest whore in Detroit.  NOT IMPRESSED.  So please take your attitude and your ugly, one size too big double breasted suited ass OUT of my face and let your nervous looking lacky wash my damn rings liked I asked so I can get out of your crappy store.

Sincerely,

ESC, sooper bitch.

After so long I FINALLY posted…and then left you with a teaser…and then…

nothing.

I am a bad blogger.  But I DO have an excuse.

First off: Yes yeah, stitches.  Last weekend in April.  It was AWESOME.  We had an amazing time, I spent a lot of money buying lots of lovely stuff, and hanging out with some friends from far off.  All of which can be summarized here:

OK.  So what happened after that?

Last week at work I was a hungover bunny.  Stiches wiped me out – I was sleep deprived and emotionally drained.  I dragged through each work day.  Which was OK, because barely any of the managers had been around in the weeks before and I had pretty much been ignored.  I checked the internal job postings every day, praying there would be something ANYTHING on there for me.  And trudged on helping other people with their projects, doing exciting things like looking up documents to close out files, and scanning on to the shared drive.

Thrilling.

Thursday I finally heard from my manager, who wanted me to work on some legal documents that needed to be re-worded and re-format into an approved template.  Again, not so much exciting, but at least different.  I worked on them thursday afternoon and all day friday – I even came in early on friday to get the one done she absolutely needed done that morning.  Because of that, I planned to leave around 3:30 (office closes at 4).

Then she told me not to leave until she could meet with me.

I thought, OK, about the documents?

Then she added, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.

Umm…what?

Then it’s 4 and she’s finally ready to meet, but then we have to wait for Director.  Director?  Uh oh, what’s going on?

Here’s what’s going on.

A person that they had recently hired to fill a critical position did not work out.  She is gone.  They needed someone good to fill that role, to do a better job and be able to jump in quickly and do a good job.

That person…was me.

I had ZERO experience with this kind of work – totally unfamiliar with the process or the software involved.  PLUS over the next 7 months, we’ll be switching to an entirely NEW software system.  One that’s better, does more, and will make our lives easier…once we spend 7months in hell getting it implemented.

He needed to know: was I ready?  was I up for the challenge?  was I willing to come in early and stay late every day, to learn this system and get things rolling and be ready for the new system that was coming in?  was I ready to prove myself?  because this is IT.  This is my chance.  I prove I can handle this, and this job is mine, permanently.  As in, permanent position.  As in, no more of this contract crap.  as in HEALTH INSURANCE.

well…YES.   FINALLY.

So this week has been a dizzing round of training and meetings and catching up.  I’m learning about our document system.  I’m getting an idea of how huge and wonderful the new one will be…and how difficult it will be to get us there.   But…and here’s the nice thing…I’m LEARNING and DOING and OWNING this!  THANK GOD.  Because nothing bores me more than giving me half hearted boring tasks to do.  But this?  This is interesting.  This is a challenge.  I can DO this, but I’m going to have to push myself.  This is EXCITING to me! Also?  It’s geeky.  Oooohhhh, yes…the perfect job for a techie geek like myself.  I will be working a lot with IT.  Can you hear my geek squees from there?  I think you can.

I’m trying to learn as quickly as I can so I can jump in and start catching up with the work that’s been put on hold since the last person left and I took over.  It’s been a little frustrating, because things out of my control have been slowing me down – getting permissions for file folders, and permissions for everything in the system, figuring out where the last person hid documents (well, not on purpose, I’m sure) etc.

OH, and the best part?  I got my own office.  OFFICE!  Not a cubical.  OFFICE.  With a real desk, not a folding table!  woohoo!  It’s on the other side of the floor, which kind of isolates me from the rest of my department, so that’s sad.  But apparently they’re about to do a big office reshuffle to rearrange the floors, so my time there might be short.  I’m enjoying it, though 

So there you have it: my explanation for my absense. This is a thrilling opportunity for me.  But I am going to be busier than a beaver in an ass kicking contest.

what?

shut up.

I will blog as I can.  In the meantime, look for me on twitter, because I will be on there the most.  You can check my sidebar or if you have an account, I’m TheESC.  IF YOU USE SOME WEIRDO SCREEN NAME THAT IS UNLIKE YOUR BLOG/REAL/RAVELRY NAME, DON’T EXPECT ME TO FOLLOW YOU BACK UNLESS YOU SEND ME A NOTE TELLING ME WHO YOU ARE.

ahem.

Mom’s visit was a whirlwind of walking and shopping and eating and more shopping.  Mom can shop like a champion and – and here’s the kicker – not buy much.

Boggles my mind.  Oh don’t get me wrong – she did buy stuff.  LOTS of stuff.  HEAVY stuff, which required her to actually ship a big box to herself AND check her suitcase on the flight home.  But her ration of buying: shopping is SHOCKINGLY LOW.  AND she can spend a whole day at a mall and not get bored or tired.  IT’S HER SUPERPOWER.

Feeling extra charitable, I took her to Knitch and told her to pick a yarn, ANY YARN, and I would make a shawl for her.  The not having a pattern before hand kind of threw her, but she gravitated to the mohair almost immediately (groan…mohair…the velcro of yarns) and settled on kidsilk haze.

sort of a dark blue-gray

And because she’s my mom, allowed me to pick something for myself for my trouble:

mmmmm…raveny…

I had her look through lace patterns on ravelry, and nothing seemed to really peak her interest, so with great reluctance, I dragged out Victorian Lace Today, which, of course, SHE LOVED.  Picked out 6 stole patterns, and then finally settled on one that I GENTLY guided her towards – Myrtle Leaf Shawl (rav link – here’s a flickr search with pictures of other’s work).  Guided her there because a single leaf lace motif with a border will be relatively easy for me (HAHAHA FAMOUS LAST WORDS, LOSER!) and I should haven’t to do much crying over attempting to rip back mistakes in MOHAIR (yes yes, in the freezer, I’ve heard).

We spent allll day saturday at the dogwood festival, which was lovely and sunny (I got the burn to prove it).  Mom picked herself up some nice things, including a ring which apparently Dad will be giving her for mother’s day (it’s just easier that way).  I picked up some adorable earrings

And also discovered the art of a HILARIOUS watercolor artist named Greg Stones.  I dare you to look through his stuff and not giggle.  I bought two prints:

“Goodbye Sheep” and “Penguin vs. Reaper”

Interesting note: I uploaded those pics into flickr and tagged them with his name.  Shortly after, I got an email saying that he added me as a friend on flickr.  I held my breath…and…nothing.  No CEASE AND DESIST or TAKEDOWN IMMEDIATELY – Greg, you are awesome and now I shall promote you like crazy.

Mom left Tuesday morning, and I was left with sore feet, aching calves, and physical exhaustion.  But I didn’t have time to recover, because come thursday, our home was invaded YET AGAIN…only this time…by knitters

God help me…