Night has fallen when the Maths Tutor reached her car.

Just as she was about to start the engine and drive away, the street lamps began to flicker wildly.

A great sense of foreboding filled the air, as a strange vision suddenly flashed before her eyes …

A scream snapped her out of her trance before her vision was complete, and she blinked her eyes in time to see a frightened woman pushed a man away under the glare of the bright street lamps.

The man (who happens to be our young henchman if you’ve been following the previous episodes) then turned around and walked away with his head bowed, looking dejected.

In a shocking realization of her déjà vu experience, she recognized the man as the walking man in her vision just moments ago.

And in that very moment, the silence of the night was broken by the unmistakable roar of a speeding car’s engine, while the Maths Tutor could only cover her eyes and pray for a miracle …

Continuing from last week’s episode …

The shadows lengthened rapidly as dusk began to fall.

The *clack clack clack* of the Maths Tutor’s killer 5-inch Jimmy Choo stilettos echoed off the concrete walls as she made her way towards the elevator down the corridor, each step an excruciating twist of an imaginary dagger deeper into his wounded heart.

The Ah Beng cut a lonely figure as he watched, forlornly, her lithe figure receding gradually into the distance … along with his hopes … leaving him with a profound feeling of loss …

But loss often leads to suffering, suffering leads to anger, and anger leads to hate. And suddenly a voice whispered in his head,

Oh my mighty Smiling 哥 of this sprawling GRC, how can you stomach this? No one here has ever said NO to you! What would the others say?

He eyes began to narrow as he unwittingly gripped the mandarin orange tighter and tighter …

Remember what the Maths Tutor taught her students? When all seem lost and no matter how difficult the exam is, never hand in a blank paper! At least write something to score some working marks! NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Consumed by the Dark Side rage, he crushed the poor mandarin orange and threw it violently to the floor (to the shock of the watching kaypoh aunties), and decided that not only will he NOT give up, he’ll make sure he gets his Maths Tutor by any means necessary.

.
.
.

Meanwhile the sickening sound of that splattered mandarin orange startled the Maths Tutor, who couldn’t wait for the elevator door to open while the Ah Beng calmly began calling his henchmen on his phone …

As all his usual henchmen are busily gambling away at the new Sentosa Casino, the only one available is a young fresh ‘recruit’ who happens to be hanging around nearby.

The Young Henchman

From the GPS application on his phone, the Ah Beng marks out his HDB flat’s location as X. His lone henchman is currently situated at Y which is due east of X. He spots the Maths Tutor’s car parked at Z which is on a bearing 210° from X. X, Y and Z all lie on horizontal ground. The Maths Tutor enters the elevator at a point T which is directly and vertically above X, with the angle of elevation of T from Y being 17°. On his GPS map with a scale of 1 : 5000, XY = 5 cm and XZ = 6 cm.

To catch the Maths Tutor, the henchman needs to reach her car at Z before she does. But the henchman is unfamiliar with the territory, and only has a small 20-cent compass he extorted from a kid in the neighbourhood. Find

1. the actual distance between Y and Z (in m).
2. the bearing he must tell his henchman in order for the latter to locate the car.

Assuming the henchman sets off for the car at a constant speed of 3 m/s along YZ the moment the elevator (with the tutor on board) begins its uninterrupted descent from T at a constant speed of 1.9 m/s to the ground floor at X, afterwhich she removes her Jimmy Choos and runs straight for the car along XZ at a constant speed of 2.5 m/s, who will reach the car first?

Will Loi Loi escape? Or will Smiling 哥 finally have her in his clutches?

Stay tuned for the next episode after someone solves the (cheong hei) math questions above!

The Ah Beng’s sprawling
(& fully-upgraded) territory

He surveyed his vast territory from the common corridor of his HDB flat, watching families going about their Chinese New Year visits, and young couples strolling along with their Valentine’s Day bouquets in hand.

The years had been good to him, as the Ah Beng rose and rose through the ranks of his secret society to become the dreaded right-hand man of his Triad Chief, having applied the mathematical skills he had picked up to impress with his lightning speed of calculating exorbitant compound interests for the entire loan shark network, and his ability to deduce (using mensuration formulae) with frightening accuracy the exact volume of paint needed to be splashed on each victim’s door to avoid accidental damage to neighbouring property.

But despite his stellar career in a finance industry that would’ve made some L1R5 ≤ 6 pts students green with envy, there remained a sense of emptiness that gnawed at his heart …

AIYOOOOOOOO!!!!!

A pesky voice jolted him from his reverie.

You are still single?????! When are you going to find a husband?!

Sufficiently intrigued, he walked to the HDB unit where the commotion came from, and peered through the window panes, just like the old days.

Better quickly find a boyfriend while you are still pretty! Your cousin Ling Ling’s already pregnant with her second child!

In a typical Hong Kong drama scene when the 插曲 (i.e. secondary track) usually starts playing, the Ah Beng’s heart skipped a beat when he found himself staring at a woman seated in the room - the sole reason for his feeling of emptiness all these years. And though she was beginning to look a bit rough on the edges, she was still as stunning to him as when he first set eyes on her many years ago (thanks to the facial products she has been using).

So when are you planning to get married? Don’t you think you’re too old for ang bao???

As she started to look helplessly distressed in the face of her relatives’ relentless interrogation, he sensed that it was now or never. And so in a classic 不管三七二十一 (don’t-care-3-7-21) moment, he barged into the room to yell in perfect Hokkien

I AM HER BOYFRIEND!

After a prolonged period of awkward silence, one of the aunties recovered from the shock and muttered

Aiyoh got boyfriend already don’t be shy to tell us lah! By the way, what’s your name and occupation Handsome?

Recognizing that “Triad Chief’s right-hand man” won’t be an appropriate answer on this occasion, the Ah Beng smiled and confidently replied with the first occuption that crossed his mind

Everyone calls me ‘Smiling 哥’. I am a Maths Tutor.

Oooh you’re a Maths tutor too just like my Loi Loi? Such a match made in Heaven!

By the way if you don’t mind, I have a maths question that has been troubling me all night. Should be chicken feed to a maths expert like you!

Given that the Ah Beng’s maths has become rusty ever since he delegated most of his calculation tasks to his runners after he became the right-hand man (see, maths is all about constant practice!), can you please do a good deed on this Chinese New Year/Valentine’s Day to help him get out of this fix???

P.S. ‘Smiling 哥’ actually turned desperately to look at the real maths tutor for help, but all he got was a fierce glance from an angry Loi Loi, since afterall, she had no idea who he was.

ROOOOOOOAR!

Now don’t laugh at her chubby toes!

where the fresh mandarin oranges tangerines are rich in Vitamin C,

Tangier Tangerines!

where James Bond and secret agents used to meet for shady deals in seedy cafés,

They are spies. All of them.

she would wake up in her spartan hotel room each day,

Comes with full WIFI ensuite okay!

and, like what its illustrious past occupant did, headed to a local café,

where she would order a cup of mint tea and some local kacang puteh, before she began to type, type, type away …

Working during holiday

… that was how she spent some days of her holiday,

so that she can finish churning out her papers
just in time for Chinese New Year.
So as to give students more homework some practice during this long, long weekend,
and to appease those who’ve been systematically ‘reminding’ her to no end.

They are different messages.

Now that the last file has been uploaded,
with new Topical Exercises and Preview Papers updated,
Miss Loi is finally able to remove the koyoks from her neck
and take in a deep, deep breath
before opening The Temple’s window to SCREEEEEAM into the night (to the annoyance of all who are near):

Now with Topical Exercises for ALL LEVELS! Sign up and preview them now!

Dreams of her waking up before sunrise in a mad rush to be on time for her mari-kita (and avoid a pink slip).

Dreams of her trying desperately to avoid gusts of wind that would further ruin her already-tragic hairdo, and hoping that she won’t bump into her crush if that happened.

Oh yes those crushes, one of whom was rumoured to have a crush on another girl, who was rumoured to have a crush on another guy, who in turn was rumoured to have a crush on her (???!!)

Dreams of friends abandoning age-old cliques for mass flirting socializing with the opposite sex, returning once in awhile to ‘tau-pok‘ or dunk their old friends on their birthdays.

Dreams of rushing to chope a seat in the last 1-2 rows of the LT, so that she won’t be so easily spotted when the inevitable Drunken Fist aka 打醉拳 session comes.

Dreams of bitchy GP tutors who liked to pick on people during tutorial, and of demoralizing lecturers who encouraged all to drop the subject on the very first lesson.

Dreams of futile last-minute attempts to finish studying the topics for yet another test the next day.

Dreams of taking the bus to Orchard Road for stress-free weekday shopping during pon-tanged free periods.

Dreams of her own beautiful notes which were meticulously highlighted using the entire colour range offered by the series of highlighters, and dreams of those frantic zap zap zap sessions just before the exam for the notes that were missing because she skipped the lectures.

Dreams of those long study sessions in the library during exam periods, which continued long into the night at the canteen after the library had closed, after which they soon degenerated into some supper/chit-chat/sing song/ghost stories sessions.

And as she woke up at the end of each dream which reminded her vividly that she was once a JC student, she heaved a sigh of relief that there’s no test or exam today, but at the same time felt a great tinge of sadness that nothing can ever, ever bring those days back again.

Regardless of where you end up, may all ‘O’ Level 2009 students make the most of your experience and enjoy your stay at your new school to the fullest!

P.S. Strange but true, Miss Loi has really been having such dreams this past week.

I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun

The chorus of this New Order song filled their minds as they paused before their school gates, some dressed to the nines in the latest fashion statements that mocked at their school rules, others with freshly highlighted/rebonded hair (that would’ve fail the most lenient of hair checks) flailing gently in the afternoon breeze.

Those gates … which were once seemingly bathed in a dazzling light of hope at the start, gateways to glorious paths that were paved with gold.

Those same gates … which in the past 4-5 years had somehow turned into ugly, dilapidated entrances. Entrances to years of poor grades, and years of always panicking before exams, …

I got A1 for both math!!! :-D :-D Thanks for all your help!!

years of failures, …

Hi Miss Loi I got A1 for emath and A2 for amath. Thank you so much for helping me this year!

years of having ‘never passed before’, …

He scored A2 for both his maths. I really want to say a big thank you for pulling him up

years of condemnation, of threats, of suspensions and of ‘being nearly kicked out of school’, …

Hiya! A1 for A and A2 for E!

years of ‘hopelessness’, …

Hehe I got A2 for maths … Oh anyway its also because of your help mah that’s why I can pass

years of living with a terrifying disease, …

Thxs for helping during the last moment. She had a B3. Thxs once again.

years of F9s, E8s, D7s, and constantly changing tutors, …

My maths A2!

five years of chronic underachievement, …

Hello ms loi. I got B3 for maths thank you so much. I made it to poly

and for several Special Ones, years of suffering lethal combinations of the above (mentioned here as Miss Loi is SUPER PROUD of your achievements as a result of your efforts in the face of immense adversity)

My maths result is C6 … Ya haha nvr pass before since last time … ya I’m going poly for Hospitality n Tourism management course … thank you for all the help

Haha it was good … math got C5 thank you so much

.
.
.

And so on a certain Monday afternoon, these students, 59% (of all 2009 double-Maths students) / 94% (of all 2009 single-Maths students) of whom first pounded on The Temple Gates months ago to ‘proudly’ present Miss Loi with their F9/E8/D7 failing grades …

Initially he wanted to give up his studies. Then suddenly 开窍. Ha. Anyways thanks so much for all you have done for them.

… now proudly faced their (ex-)school gates, with *77%/87% of them having achieved at least a 4-grade jump, and *78%/73% attaining a Distinction and a minimum grade of B4 respectively, and with 100% having attained their passes and improved on their grades.

GCE O-Level 2009 Double Maths Grades (left) Single Maths Grades (right)

*% of 2009 double-maths batch / % of 2009 single-maths batch

These students, The Children of The Temple, most of whom were unwanted, unloved, uncared for by the subject (or was it the other way round?) and most of whom managed to ‘fail with flying colours’ Miss Loi’s stringent (anti-industry practice) entry test (to the chagrin of all straight-A students in disguise who were found out and turned away), now suddenly find the same gates before them glowing like they did 4-5 years ago.

As they walked/strutted/sashayed their way towards the radiant, blinding light that is their White Gates of Salvation, gateways to their new paths, their futures that are now paved with gold, it’s been a pleasure for Miss Loi & The Temple once again to have played a part (however small & last-minute) in your epic journey.

My heartfelt appreciation for your excellent coaching for the whole of last year without which he will not have made such amazing progress!! … Your students and my son are blessed to have a ’super tutor’ like you.

At the end of the day, however, it’s through YOUR OWN EFFORTS that you reap what you sow.

To those of you who may be regretting this and that or still feeling emo about “if only I had done this and that …”, do understand that, regardless of the results that you have, the game has once again been reset/rebooted/restarted and that everyone from the top scorers to those with the poorest of the poor grades will start with a clean slate once more, for mighty kings have become paupers and paupers became kings and foreign mercenary cyborgs will head home, thus

For your future is always in your grasp and it’s up to you to make the best of it, though sometimes you just needed a bit of LASIK surgery to see that the gates and paths before you have always been bathed in light and gold.

P.S. This long overdue post should have been done a week earlier but things have been crazy ever since Miss Loi came back from her trip

And the bruises on Miss Loi’s butt from the camel ride have finally recovered.

The Culprit

All that’s left now is for Miss Loi to reflect on her long journey three weeks ago, when she rented this rickety car

and took her tentative first steps into a whole new world, like a Sec One student’s first day in a new secondary school.

A step into the vast unknown …

On a dark desert highway …

where things were a little different.

Here you look left, right & then left again before crossing the road

She found herself drowning in a sea of strangers

and missing the food back home,

The reason why so many said Miss Loi is slimmer after she came back

On a journey along a road that can sometimes be winding,

See the view from inside the car

sometimes rocky,

and at times fraught with obstacles.

A journey where she crossed the highest mountains,

traversed the deepest gorges,

and passed ancient cities.

Remember this from the movie: Gladiator?

A journey where some days were cheerily colourful.

Miss Loi’s hotel

Some days spectacular.

Miss Loi’s hotel

And some nights … umm … cold.

Miss Loi’s ‘hotel’

A journey where friends were made,

and seemingly insurmountable dunes, looming before them like a series of y = ax^1/n (a > 0, n > 0) curves, were conquered.

Can you trace the curves?

Only because Miss Loi picked the ones with the lowest values of a and n

And whenever Miss Loi contrived to get herself hopelessly lost,

an oasis was always nearby to cool her down and help her figure out the right direction to hold the map.

Time to check the map again.

Now that we’ve come to the sunset of our journey,

it’s time to take a moment to think about your journey from Sec One to your O Levels, before some of you prepare your supply of tissue paper for today’s 2pm ceremony:

How many mountains have you conquered?
How many gorges have you traversed?
How many stretches of rocky roads have you travelled?
How many seemingly-insurmountable dunes have loomed before you?
How often were you lost?
How many times did you turn back and walked away when you encountered each of the above?

And after this may you find it easier to look your most loved/hated teacher in the eye when it’s your turn to stand before him/her, since the final judgment would’ve then already been passed by you, for the only person who can really judge you on Judgment Day is yourself.

In any case, no matter what the outcome is, be comforted that you have simply done your best and let this be a celebration of an end to an epic journey since Sec One.

And in true Jφss Sticks tradition, Miss Loi shall repeat the same thing she said last year, last, last year and last, last, last year:

One exam simply does not determine your entire future and what you do in your lifetime.

For there’s still a long road ahead, where taller mountains, deeper gorges, rockier roads and softer dunes await all of us.

P.S. That last photo is actually a sunrise pic.

The trumpet has been blown. Judgment Day has come.

Hurriedly she rushed to check with the powers that be to confirm the inevitable, that

And now an excited Miss Loi is jumping up and down like a siao cha bor (to the chagrin of all passengers at Qatar International Airport), for she couldn’t wait for her final connecting flight to Singapore to come soon enough, to send her straight into the festive atmosphere of excitement and anticipation … and to witness your eventual tears of joy.

Suddenly that S$27 A&W meal doesn’t seem to make Miss Loi that angry anymore …

P.S. Meanwhile, pour out your feelings at the Judgment Day Facebook Event Wall, even as Miss Loi speeds back to Singapore!

Welcome to Morocco! And after this, you must speak French!

… so said the man (for the 10^nth time) to Miss Loi as she downed another bottle of Arabic Coke at the Marrakech cafe.

Looking down at the indefatigable, eternal show that is the Djemma el Fna, Miss Loi smiled at the Moroccan man (for the 10^nth time) and began massaging her sore feet.

Feet that were sore from the past days of wandering aimlessly and getting lost in the endlessly labyrinthine souks …

and from the long treks to the villages …

with those countless mounting and dismounting from her friendly mule on the way up the mountains …

… who promptly abandoned her when the snow began to fall (just joking)

In any case, as Miss Loi prepares to embark on the next phase of her journey to the Road of A Thousand Kasbahs, she would like to take this opportunity of a good internet connection to wish all

And remember in Morocco, you MUST speak French!

Au Revoir!