The Ex-Expat

North Korea to be headed by 'The Morning Star King'

2009-01-16T15:31:00.003+13:00

There have been reports that Kim Jong Il has named his third son, Kim Jong-un, as his successor. Son number one, Jong-Nam ruled himself out of contention after being snapped trying to enter Japan on a Dominican passport because he wanted to go to Disneyland, son number 2 Jong-chol is reported to be thought of as too effeminate for the role which leaves the youngest Kim as heir to the North Korean throne.

Little is know about 'The Morning Star King'

- He mother is Ko Yong Hi, a former star of Pyongyang’s premier song-and-dance troupe who died of breast cancer in 2004

— He was reportedly educated at the International School of Berne, which he attended under a pseudonym.

— Since his return to Pyongyang in his late teens, he has been shrouded in secrecy. No picture has ever been published or released.

We'll know in about March what is happening as that is the date for North Korean 'elections.' If the younger Kim is promoted, say hello to the new leader of North Korea if a power struggle between his elder brother and/or Jang Song-taek, Kim Jong-il's powerful brother in-law emerges.

Objects of Annoyance redux

2009-01-15T14:07:00.002+13:00

Car and house alarms - Their only purpose seems to be annoy the fuck out of your neighbours who are too busy watching TV/rooting to go check on your property.

Nationalism - 'kiwi' is not a prefix and claiming anyone with any sort of connection to New Zealand as being 'Kiwi' makes you look like the kid at school who never has any real friends to invite to his/her birthday party. Give it up already New Zealand just ain't that important.

My car horn - So pathetic I just take to waving my middle finger at Auckland's drivers so they don't laugh at me.

Overdone steak - If I ask for medium rare, it means I want some red left in the centre.

Children's indoor playgrounds - No matter where I go, they always seem to smell putrid.

Ten Events that Shaped Asia in 2008

2009-01-14T21:55:00.005+13:00

Following on from last year's stock take, I take a look back on ten events that shaped Asia in 2008. A little late, but better late than never.

10. Dear Leader soon to be Dead Leader?
There has been ongoing speculation over the health of DPRK dictator Kim Jong Il. Cutting through most of the slightly madder speculation (not quite as unlikely as the recent claim that he in fact died in 2003) the claim, originally from South Korean intelligence sources, is that in late August Kim suffered a minor stroke. He is expected to recover fully but was not fit enough to attend the Sept 9th parade marking the state’s 60th anniversary, an absence which sparked the speculation over his health. DPRK news institutions denied that the Leader has any health problems at all and released photographs of Kim Jong Il out and about but as always getting an accurate picture of what is going on in North Korea remains difficult. However the death of the Dear Leader remains a concern as Kim has not anointed a successor and his passing could lead to internal strife within the Stalinist state if a power struggle between rival factions emerges.

9. New PM for Japan
This really should be a standing item for an annual round-up on Asia, a new Japanese PM. After two unsuccessful bids for Prime Minister of Japan under his belt Taro Aso finally took over the reigns from Yasuo Fukuda who lasted less than a year in Japan's top job. Aso is an interesting figure. A former Olympic shooter who loves a good cuban and is a well-known fan of Japanese manga (comic books), he is also the country's first Catholic leader. During his time as Foreign Minister under Junichiro Koizumi, Aso annoyed China by not only referring to Taiwan as a country, but also by praising the role Japanese colonialism played in the territory. Those comments and his family's history of employing forced Korean labour during World War Two would not make him popular on either side of the Korean DMZ. Whether he lasts long could depend on the political fortunes of his Liberal Democratic Party.

8. First direct commercial flights between China and Taiwan
After China and Taiwan agreed in June to start direct flights for tourists, the first planeload of tourists from the mainland touched down in Taiwan in July marking a significant rapprochement between governments estranged since the Chinese civil war ended in 1949. Relations between China and Taiwan have improved significantly since Taiwan's new president, Ma Ying-jeou, took office in May. An agreement to introduce direct cargo shipping and postal services across the strait was signed was signed in November. Hopefully closer economic ties will lead to improved political and security relations in this part of the world.

7. Sunset on the Sunshine Policy
Last year I mentioned the opening of the first train service between North and South Korea as a strategic event. Well it looks like I spoke too soon and the North suspended the service as part of a series of measures aimed at cutting suspending relations with South after the election of a conservative president in the ROK last year. Tours to northern locations of Kaesong and the mountain resort of Keumgangsan (where a southern tourist was recently shot) have been suspended and the DPRK announced that it would be cutting staff and reducing the number of "windows" available each day for South Korean vehicles to enter the Kaesong Industrial Complex. But it isn't just South Korea and Russia are interested in building oil and natural gas pipelines which would cross the DPRK. Why the DPRK government would be risking this project as they would benefit not only from the construction but also "rental" fees—in effect taking a cut of all the energy resources that cross their borders remains a mystery. But then North Korea is a whacky place.

6. Beijing Olympics
Yes there were scandals, as there are inevitably at every Olympic, the switcheroo with the little girl who could sing like an angel but whose face was deemed not pretty enough to be China's face, the pollution, human rights violations, ticket scams, the fireworks that were digitally doctored for the newspaper and television pictures. But there was still plenty for China to be proud of. The amazing architecture and infrastructure that housed the events, the ceremony and organisation that seemed to work like clockwork . Although many have been quick to compare the Beijing Olympics to those in Berlin, I think a more apt comparison would be of Seoul in 1988, where the hosting of the games marked a new era in South Korea's history. Like China, South Korea had also endured a civil war, years of poverty and then years of brutal dictatorship in order to ensure a prosperous future for their children.

5. The Credit Crunch
While falling sharemarkets (not to mention sharebrokers) and bailouts in the west might have captured our attention, I say look east my friend. In the short term the increase in unemployment due to the cut backs in production could cause internal instability. The workers of Asia do not have the luxury of a generous welfare state to fall back on if their jobs disappear and large numbers of hungry and desperate people are never a good thing. However in the longer term, we westerners who have become addicted to consuming cheap goods produced in Asia and financed by Asian savings might find that they aren't so keen on risking their savings on our shopping habits again.

4. A tale of two natural disasters - Nargis and Sichuan
First Cyclone Nargis slammed into the Ayeyarwady (Irrawaddy) Delta region of Myanmar and then a week and half later Central China was rocked by a massive earthquake. Both events bought a scale of suffering that is almost impossible to comprehend, the dead were measured in tens of thousands, the displaced in the millions. However the responses two governments to the crises in their respective countries could not have been more different. Myanmar's military dictatorship quite rightly drew condemnation for their inaction and delays in letting foreign aid into the country. In contrast Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao was in the affected area within hours and the government had formally approached the UN for relief within days of the earthquake.

3. The Blockade of Bangkok
The People's Alliance for Democracy, a political pressure group made up of middle and upper middle class Thais, blockade of Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi International airport marked yet another foray by the group into the tumultuous world of Thai politics. The airport, one of the busiest in Asia, was at a standstill for nearly 8 days trapping travelers and freight until a Thai court barred then-PM Somchai Wongsawat from political activity for five years. Thai politics has long been dominated by military governments punctuated by brief periods of democratic rule between coups however 2008 marks the second time that the actions of the PAD has lead to the overthrow of an elected government after they played a major role in deposing Wongsawat's brother-in-law Thaksin Shinawatra from power in 2006. The one consistency seems to be the Thai King who steps in times of trouble, his ailing health should be of concern to all Asia watchers in the coming years as Thai democracy lacks one critical component, the losing side accepts defeat.

2. The Melamine Milk Scandal
A sad demonstration of all that is wrong with the Chinese economic miracle, a combination of media controls by the state combined with commercial greed, poisoned hundreds of thousands babies and killed at least half a dozen due to milk and infant formula being adulterated with melamine by Chinese food manufacturer Sanlu. The effects of the crisis were not confined to China with countries throughout Asia introducing restrictions on Chinese dairy products while India and South Korea banned their importation entirely. In a example of how to not do business in China, Fonterra which owned a 43% stake in Sanlu, appeared to be caught out by not having enough human resources (ie. people fluent in mandarin and highly knowledge about how things roll in China) to cope with such an ambitious extension to their business. Still a loss of face and money is nothing compared to what Tian Wenhua, the former board chairwoman and general manager of Sanlu Group has to contend with, namely the death penalty.

1. The Attack on Mumbai
The brazen attack by less than a dozen Pakistani nationals saw 200 people killed, many more injured and significant damage sustained to the legendary Taj Mahal hotel. Mumbai is the powerhouse of the Indian economy, generating 5% of India's GDP and accounting for 25% of industrial output, 40% of maritime trade, and 70% of capital transactions. The attacks which targeted foreigners, may see overseas firms become more hesitant to invest in the sub-continent. This would be a tragedy not only for the people of India not only for the loss of jobs but because it would ensure that the overarching aim of this vile acts, the creation of an environment of fear and hatred, would succeed despite the body count being far less than the stated target of 5,000. I controlled aid money, I'd be putting as much of it as I could into education in this region. So long as education is controlled by the radicals, there will always be young men pumped up on the teachings of hatred ready to die for their cause.

There to teach, not to preach

2009-01-12T14:57:00.003+13:00

Ah a particular annoyance of mine, religious education and ceremonies in state schools. Despite our supposedly secular education system, there's still plenty of preaching going on and not just in the 'special character' schools. A state school my mother taught at offered up 30 minutes of christian teaching a week to its pupils and I doubt that school was alone.* Apparently the human rights commission has finally gotten around to drawing up guidelines so that now pupils have the freedom to 'opt out' of classes. Did they ever stop why the hell it was being offered in the first place?

I have no problem with people practicing religion in their own time and place. If you want your kids to receive a *insert religion here* education send them to Sunday school or cough up the cash for private schooling. Outside of this the state has no business in being involved in exclusively promoting your faith especially if it disrupts the education of the non-believers or even, shock horror, the believers of other faiths who either have to suffer through the teachings or the ostracism of being pulled out of class to do make-work.

I also have no problem with children learning about religion in schools if it is done correctly. The best teaching I received on the topic of religion came from my form one teacher. During the course of the year we learned not only about Christianity as we required to by our Anglican school but also studied Judaism and Islam. Despite being a devout Christian, our teacher was so keen that we hear from multiple viewpoints that he arranged for us to visit a synagogue and mosque to hear about their take on religion from the horses mouth and encouraged us to talk about the differences and similarities between the faiths.

That's the difference between teaching and preaching.

* Primary teachers in particular are generally none to keen to rock the boat on this as the religious education segment is often the only non-contact time they have.

Stealing my Birthday thunder

2009-01-12T10:12:00.000+13:00

Early January can be a really shitty time to have a birthday, between Christmas and New Year people aren't really in the mood to celebrate another occasion. People who are cheap tend to double up on combined birthday/Christmas presents and lots of people are still on summer vacation. My birthday also happens to be the day after my father's birthday so we've shared cakes on many of occasions. Last year a good friend of mine had her baby on my birthday and this year another one of my friends had a bub on January 7.

A good day to be born.

Bangkok, Oriental City

2009-01-08T11:34:00.002+13:00

And the city don't know that the city is getting...

I've spotted a flight for under 1k return to BKK and have 5 weeks annual leave up my sleeve. The actual city holds little interest to me apart from being a good place to get flights and/or visas to other places.

Top of my list:

Burma
Laos and/or Cambodia.

Although I could just be normal and hang out in Thailand as there will be less annoying people due to most of them being scared away by the airport blockade last year while the credit crunch will have gotten rid of the rest.

Doing some mulling over the next few days.

Almost done with my 20s...

2009-01-07T09:10:00.002+13:00

Officially the big 29 today. Was feeling a bit sad about how old I am until a lovely aqua box with a white ribbon showed up. Yes jewelery is totally superfluous and getting branded jewelery even more so, but hey it's my birthday and I got something that sparkles.

Surf's up?

2009-01-06T13:49:00.002+13:00

Cactus Kate wonders if New Zealand's beaches, in particular the wild western ones, are just too dangerous to swim in?

Respect the ocean
Humans don't really belong out in the waves it's not our environment. People who spend extended periods of time in the water know that and don't over-extend themselves in the water because they know they'll get into trouble. The most cocky people out in the water are nearly always the people who know jackshit about it and then get into trouble when the get out of their depth which can happen in the blink of the eye.

Learn to swim
This should be bloody obvious but I thought I would add it since too many people think flippers, bogey boards and floaties will save them from the surf, the answer is always no, no, no. Adults and children need to be able to swim unaided for at least 200m before they enter the surf. If it was my kid in the water, I'd demand they could swim at least 400m and the adult in charge a lot further before I let them in the sea.

Watch your kids like hawks, teach them about the water
That means you have to be with them in the water rather than watching on the sidelines. Many years ago Sister of Ex-expat saved a toddler from drowning in the sheltered rock poll they were playing in after a freak wave knocked the little one over and started pulling her out to see. The adult-in-charge of the youngster was nowhere to be seen and she would have been sucked into the ocean without anyone being the wiser if my sister hadn't stepped in. If at all possible try enrolling your kids in programmes run by the local surf club. Not only will it improve their fitness, but they'll learn how to keep themselves and others safe a lesson that will last a lifetime.

Swim on patrolled beaches during patrolled times
While Bethells is a patrolled beach, according to the report I watched on tv3 last night the group Sonny Fai was swimming with were swimming after 6pm which is well after the local surf club calls it a day. If you go swimming and get into trouble, then you are going to need someone to help you. I've heard of too many tragedies where the person who drowned is the person who went in after someone who got into trouble. This is where lifeguards come in. They know they beach, have the equipment and more importantly the training to deal with these situations. Don't play hero (go back to respecting the ocean).

Swim between the flags
The lifeguards don't just put these out for shits and giggles. They want you in this area to avoid you getting sucked into a rip or falling into a hole. It also means that you and/or your kids have access to professional help straight away so nobody else needs to put their life in danger trying to save someone out of their depth.

Not dead, just offline

2009-01-05T10:00:00.002+13:00

And now currently looking for a new ISP (preferably naked DSL) in the Auckland area. Recommendations please.

All that is wrong with the Wedding Industry

2008-12-17T11:19:00.006+13:00

They might be dirt poor with four kids, but life's just grand because she has a brand new shiny $10,000 engagement ring which may or may not be a blood diamond. Honey quick buy me something we can't afford to show me how much you love me!

I admit I'm not all that keen on weddings since traditionally they were a ceremony to signify the transfer of property (sorry woman) from their father to their husband but I find many of the more modern interpretations aren't that much better.

It's your wedding, spend more on a dress that you'll wear for 12 hours than the rest of your annual wardrobe because it's your special day. It's your wedding, so of course everything needs to be monogrammed with the word 'bride' because otherwise people won't know it's your special day. It's your wedding, we're going to charge you a whole shitload extra for services than we normally would in order for you to have your special fucking day.

And that ceremony thing, well that's just a formality that detracts from all the stuff you didn't know you need to buy, buy, buy to have your special day!

Over-assessed and under-educated

2008-12-13T14:00:00.000+13:00

Sometimes I really don't understand the National Party. First up we have Tony Ryall telling us that targets will magically fix elective surgery waiting times next up we have Anne Tolly more tests will improve the standard of education in our schools because of course no educator has ever come up with the idea of testing students.

Well not exactly. The New Zealand Council for Educational Research has the good old Progress and Achievement Tests (PAT) which I remember taking back when I was at primary school. There's the asTTle (Assessment Tools for Teaching and Learning) developed for the Ministry of Education by the University of Auckland which enables teachers to grade student achievement against curriculum levels, curriculum objectives, and population norms. Then at a system level, there is the NEMP (National Education Monitoring Project) run the University of Otago which looks at how New Zealand is doing on a national level. Plus of course the assessments for the NECA, Cambridge (if offered) and all the in-school assessments that are part of schooling in New Zealand. If anything our kids are already over-assessed. What is missing from the equation is what you actually what we want to teach our children and more importantly how are they going to teach it.

One of my education lecturers always used to say there is no point in repeatedly weighing a pig in order if you want it to gain weight, you need to feed it in order to fatten it. We actually don't need to test to find out which students are not achieving, the classroom teachers already know, hell we all know. Working out how to fatten up those brains is our problem.

Unfourtantely what is holding teaching back is the reluctance of the teaching unions to accept that all teachers and teaching gigs are not created equal I've had teachers tell me with a straight face that teachers at Remuera primary face just the same demands as those teaching in Otara and as such should be paid just the same. To me it just doesn't make sense. Because if you really want to fix educational under-acheievement you want to have the best teachers in the toughest schools providing leadership and passing on their expertise. I'm not sure the present system enables that to happen and judging by the number of my former high school teachers now teaching at private schools after 'doing their time,' perhaps the system is actually driving the good ones out of the system all together through excessive paperwork and being expected to clean up other people's mess. Because sadly the parents that really need to sit up and take notice of poor results on these new standardized tests are probably the ones that weren't paying much attention under the current system.

But I can see the sort of parents that these new national testing regime is designed to placate, the nervous middle class. Schooling and how well your kid is doing at what school is fodder for many a dinner party conversation not mention years of parental angst. Despite not yet attending school, The Child is already being assigned reading and writing homework by her kindergarten populated by the children of wound-up parents worried that their kid isn't going to make the educational cut. But sometimes I wonder if this hot-house environment is actually good for her in the long run. Due to the individualised nature of her kindy, which places children a desk apart so they can't interact with each other, and at home care for the rest of the time, the Child hasn't developed any social skills and as a result does not play well with others. Her Dad and I have been trying hard to instill the importance of taking our turn, respecting other peoples things, sharing and most importantly saying please and thank you in order to give her the skills to make friends when she starts school next year. To be fair to The Mother, the kindy was worth the thousands of dollars she spends sending her there, The Child already writes and reads at an advanced level, it's just a shame she won't have anyone to enjoy the story with.

Exhaustion

2008-12-12T16:45:00.002+13:00

Stupid virus.

My eneregy levels are still not even close to what they were before I got sick. I feel tired all the time. I wake up tired, go to work where at about 3 I want to fall asleep at my desk (and a couple of times have) before going home where my evenings consist of falling asleep on the couch for three hours, forcing some dinner down and then going to bed. I've managed one gym workout where even a light workout left me feeling worn out for the rest of the day. If I push myself past my limits, the joint and muscle pain quickly return and my temperature starts shooting up.

The most frustrating thing is that I completed a half marathon just over a month ago and have now been reduced to a shadow of my former self.

Argh.

Prop 8 - the Musical

2008-12-09T21:05:00.001+13:00

in the wake of referendum in Californa to restrict marriage to men and women this wonderful musical has been released. Play spot the famous person in between enjoying the lyrics

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Thai up my credit card?

2008-12-09T12:05:00.004+13:00

Oh for fucks sake. These dumb shit tourists are the reason some people should be banned from having passports. First they want the New Zealand Government to fly them out when civil unrest happened in a Asian country (because New Zealanders have never been stuck some random European location due to public transport strikes) and now they are bitching about the high cost of being stuck in Thailand.

One of the travelers complained that they spent about $2,500 on food and accommodation over a period of 2 weeks and now had no money for Christmas presents. Excuse me but WTF? $2,500 got me to three towns in Laos and then from Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City over the space of 5-6 weeks with plenty of presents for the folks back home.

How did I do it?

By staying at guesthouses I walked into off the street and eating street food. The guesthouses I stayed at were clean always had a private shower, aircon and a TV because I actually checked out the location rather than relying on the internet and I also didn't pay internet prices because I negotiated a discount by staying multiple nights. If I was on serious budget, I could always forgo the luxuries like aircon and hot water but there are some things are girl can not live without.

What about the street food? Surely that is just asking for some nasty South East Asian food poisoning. My theory is that you are far less likely to get food poisoning from a popular street vendor where the food is prepared before your very eyes than at a mid-range western place where the food might sit around for days due to a lack of demand from the locals and quality standards of the high-income tourists. True to form, my only case of South East Asian food poisoning happened at a French place in Phnom Penh.

And as for Christmas presents, jesus christ you are in Bangkok one of the shopping meccas of Asia. Chances are these traveling cheapos would be shopping in some chain like K-mart or Briscoes in which case why not cut at the middleman and shop directly from the people that manufacture the stuff or better yet get something cool from the many tourist markets around the city. My $2 handbag purchased at a night market in Laos has lasted almost two years despite taking a good beating on regular occasion.

Right I need to go hit my head against a wall somewhere to counteract the stupidity of the stuff I read in the Herald.

Bestest birthday Cake for a five year old girl ever!

2008-12-07T18:20:00.008+13:00

So like an idiot I keep trying to impress the child with my culinary skills despite the fact she will only eat white bread rolls, bananas, chocolate dairy food, processed cheese slices, chicken luncheon and mcdonalds fries. And produced this little number for her fifth birthday.

She liked the decorations and the blowing out the candle bit but was having nothing to do with the eating part which in my opinion is the whole point of cake. Especially as this cake is pink on the inside! Pink cake, surely a winner with the five year old girl audience you'd think. But alas no. I blame myself really. I could have whipped up a simple chocolate cake that wouldn't have had so much emtional investment. But no in my continued attempts to corrupt this child to the evils of food colouring and sugar I had to make this strawberry cake.

This is a Southern US-style cake. Which is basically cake mix (gasp) fancied up with additional ingredients and in case you are wondering about the pink colour it comes from, it's strawberry jelly crystals. Despite the processed nature of the cake, it still makes for a good eating especially with some cream cheese icing and strawberry jam in between the layers. The cake is so easy to make that you could bake it with the five year old in your life.

Southern Style Strawberry Cake
Adapted from Joy the Baker

Ingredients
1 box of vanilla cake mix
1 package of strawberry jelly crystals
2 Tablespoons self rising flour
4 teaspoons white sugar
3/4 cup canola oil
4 eggs
1/2 cup water1/3 cup fresh strawberries, finely diced.

Preheat the oven to 175 degrees. Grease, flour and line the bottom of 2 8 inch round cake tins. Combine cake mix, jelly crystals, flour and sugar in a large bowl. Mix well. Add the oil. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition Add the water and strawberries and mix well. Divide the batter evenly into the cake tins. Bake for 25-35 minutes, or until a tooth pick inserted into the center of the cakes. Let the cakes cool in their pans for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, run a knife around the inside edge of each pan, then unmold each them onto the racks to cool completely.

Now comes the best bit decorating time!

Cream Cheese Icing
250g cream cheese, softened
250g unsalted butter, softened
500g of icing sugar
pinch of salt
1 teaspoon vanilla essence

In a bowl combine the cream cheese and butter. Beat until soft and pliable and no lumps remain. Gradually beat in the icing sugar, salt and vanilla extract until incorporated. If you like a smoother consistency, add a slash of milk. If you would like a thicker consistency, and a bit more powdered sugar until the desired consistency is achieved.

Cover the bottom layer with cream cheese and then put a hearty helping of strawberry jam the ice the rest of the cake.

Btw, if you are wondering about the 'grass' on the top, it's shredded coconut that I dyed by chucking it in a lunch box with a couple of drops of food colouring. The 'daisies' are white marshmallows cut in half with a pebble in the middle.

Flat Fridge

2008-12-03T17:40:00.000+13:00

One of the joys of flatting is being able to live in a kick-ass place in a location you would otherwise be unable to afford. My current abode is valued at $1 million. It has large living area, gas cooking and heating, harbour views, located on bus routes, close to the supermarket as well as to Ponsonby and a little backyard with a lemon tree. But for $150 a week, I get to call this bad home. My flatmates have been fabulous and I have yet to encounter a non-bill payer or for that matter nutty flatmate. The fact this flat employs a cleaner once a week to give the 'general' areas a once over has also cut down on the potential for conflict between the neat freaks and those who are bit more lax with they hygiene habits.

There is just one area of the flat that has the potential to cause conflict, the flat fridge. The flat fridge is cleaned on sporadic basis when someone (usually but not limited to me) decides that it has gotten too filthy/overflowing with crap for their liking and cleans it out. Last Saturday I decided that I had enough and delved into the flat fridge.

The main problem with our flat fridge is that likes to collect multiple partly-used containers of the same product. The last time the fridge was cleaned out, we discovered that our fridge contained no less than 10 jars of a minced garlic for four flatmates. This time around it has been plum jam, though only four jars were spotted in the clean up. Then there is the food that flatmates forgot, yoghurt months passed its used by date, milk that had solidified and a 1 month old rib-eye steak. The milk and yoghurt I could forgive, but how anyone could neglect a prime cut of beef is tantamount to food abuse.

But it is the vege drawer that always seems to hold the best surprises. True to form, there weren't only veges in our vege drawer but a bottle of apple juice and a bag of grated Parmesan that had deposited its contents into the bottom. The vege drawer also holds some food that has taken on a life of its own, broccoli with a layer of mold on it and some green slush that the bag said was spinach at some point in a previous life.

Two large shopping bags later, the flat fridge was de-cluttered of all the rotten and duplicate food.

Thai Me Up?

2008-12-02T09:05:00.012+13:00

Ex-expat message to travelers stranded in Thailand: Congratulations you just won travel bingo.

Out of all the countries in the world to get stuck in, I can't think of anywhere better than Thailand. Beautiful beaches, awesome food and cheap. Ok it's not so cheap in Bangkok right now where the backlog of air travelers will inevitably be pushing up prices of food, taxis and accommodation so do yourself a big favour, catch a bus and plonk yourself on a beach somewhere and wait for the backlog to clear.

You'll be doing the provincial economies a big favour as they'll be hurting from the lack of in-bound tourists and more importantly you'll be doing yourself a big favour. Right now you are probably stressed and frustrated by the lack of information coming out from your airline about when the hell you are going to get out of dodge. Why not save yourself the bother, it ain't going to be a few days if not weeks so go sun yourself on a Thai beach in the meantime.

This ain't the fall of Saigon people. The protesters are mainly urban dwellers from Bangkok who are protesting against the government who draws its support from Thailand's rural poor. At some point the Army will step and things will settle down with the help of some guns and tear gas. Then it will be business as usual. As with many things in Asia, concerns over cash trump those of politics. Tourism is a major industry and eventually there will be a military crackdown, which you'll want to be as far away from (ie. not in Bangkok) as possible to avoid the mess. The rest of Thailand is well-accustomed to civil unrest and overthrows of government and just works around it. You'll be fine so long as you have money to pay your bills.

If you absolutely have to get home now, (ie. dying relative) you have a few overland options.

Follow the lemmings to other international airports in Thailand. Here you are going to run into problems as most of the flights are operated by Thai air. Thai air operates out of Bangkok Airport where things have ground to a halt. I believe Qantas is currently diverting its BKK services to Phuket so you could hitch a ride with them to Australia.

Go south to KL or Singapore. Bad news is that there are no direct trains from BKK and there is a long-running civil unrest in the South. Still doable, and both KL and Singapore have flights to just about anywhere in the world.

Go east to Cambodia and fly from Siem Reap or Phnom Penh to another Asian hub. Bad news is that some of the borders have been closed in recent times due to stoushes between Thailand and Cambodia. Also the roads in western Cambodia haven't had much work done on them since the 1960s and then were subjected to a civil war. Suffice to say your ass is going to hurt. Throw in Poipet a nasty border town dominated by the Cambodian mafia and you might want to rethink sunning yourself on a Thai beach. On the plus side you'll probably have a few days to spare to enjoy the ruins of Angkor Watt.

Go north to Laos and fly to another hub. You have plenty of choices to get to Vientiane, the capital of Laos. Luxury buses, local buses, and a combination of train/tuk-tuk. But again why the hell you'd be wanting to leave Laos in any kind of hurry is beyond me. Way cheaper than Thailand, beautiful and awesome food.

With a choice of this:

or this:

Ex-expat's travel advice remains the same (and better than MFAT's). Get a lonely planet, find a place not in Bangkok and relax with a massage (no not that kind) and a drink by the beach until this 'crisis' blows over.

Latest Internet Meme

2008-11-30T19:19:00.000+13:00

Arrgh stupid memes. I got tagged at some point and being the lazy bum that I am, I forgot who and can't be bothered tagging more in the hope the meme will die a natural death.

Any way 7 weird or interesting facts about moi!

1. My handwriting is so appalling it was once described by a high school teacher as being 'like a drunken chicken meandering across the page.'

2. I have a congenetial deformity on my chest wall.

3. When I was in primary school, I was seen on the TV News picking my family's fish&chip order from the infamous shop opposite parliament when then-Prime Minister Geoffry Palmer was interviewed lamenting its demise and singing the Flower of Scotland with Winston Peters a decade or so later during University.

4. I appeared naked on the frontpage of the Toronto Star newspaper frolicking in a city fountain at the age of 2.

5. I was a total geek at high school having played the cello in the school orchestra and being the student rep on the Board of Trustees.

6. My family thought my lack of known boyfriend and participation in the hero parade meant I must be lesbian. A myth that lasted a long time.

7. My dad was my primary caregiver when I was a child. He was almost put up on child assualt charges when he bought me into the emergency room concerned I had swallowed his keys but the doctors noticed a large bump on my head from falling off the bed while he was distracted searching for his keys and started asking questions. The huge wad of keys would have been impossible for a nine month old to swallow.

Where's Dr House when you need him?

2008-11-28T19:41:00.008+13:00

What a fucking week.

Apparently this post was the eye of the storm. I had been sick, got a bit better and went to work (huge mistake in retrospect), and then all hell broke loose. By Monday afternoon my throat had started getting sore and my fever was shooting up. I spent Monday night spewing every 30 minutes and my muscles were in excruciating pain. I slept all of Tuesday but my throat felt like I had inserted two golf balls in it during the evening so I vowed to go back to my regular GP on Wednesday. I managed to expend all my energy walking the 200m to the bus stop that by the time I arrived at the office, I looked and felt so bad that the office staff flagged me through to a treatment room rather than polluting their waiting space.

From there it was a barrage of tests. Blood sugar, regular blood test and of course a urine one because to paraphrase Scrubs, everything comes Down to Pee. The regular blood test turned out to be a real bitch as I already had an IV line pumping me full of fluids and some antibiotics but my free arm was wedged up against a wall and there was an EKG machine next to me which meant I needed to do a head to toe switcheroo. Arggh, sore muscles and an immobilized arm made that process a total bitch (which needed to be repeated again sans two arms when I got up to go home 2 hours later). After all that, my GP decided I likely had a kidney infection so lots of antibiotics for ex-expat.

Since Wednesday morning, I've been getting progressively better but am still tired and weak. A follow-up visit to the GP and I got some good news, the fever has come down (but not out), the blood results showed no kidney infection but that my immune system was going nuts on Wednesday with some blood measure reading over 100 when a 'normal' level was about 5.

So now we are back to the original diagnosis, a random unknown virus.

As for costs, they've come down. $45 for the initial visit (as I am registered at an expensive inner-city practice), $3 for prescription charges and since my GP's treatment kept me out of A&E the follow-up visits are free due to extra funding she recieves from the Auckland DHB. That will come in handy as I am still not over this random unknown virus and have at least one more GP visit and some scans to go.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt

2008-11-24T09:31:00.003+13:00

It started with some pain in my knees. Which I thought it was due to my long run on Thursday so went off to my Saturday morning pump class where the weights seemed a lot heavier than usual. I got home feeling hot and dizzy… hmmm perhaps I hadn’t drunk enough water during my workout? By this time my knee and hip joints feel like they have glass in them and my muscles are really hurting. God when did I get so weak? Off to the Suit’s place to make macaroni and cheese for the child who refuses to touch it because it smells yucky. Good god it is hot at the Suit’s house. The next day my joints and muscles are in excruciating pain but still I persist with an outing to the swimming pool where the child frolics around in the kiddies pool while I hope the spa might help my muscles to relax. No such luck. One car ride and a temper tantrum later, I’m using my last bit of energy to make sugar cookies with the child who quite enjoys the process but refuses to taste the finished product. Oh well take them home to mum and nana then. While the Suit drops the child at her Mother’s house, I crash out on the bed cold and exhausted. The Suit texts in from the barbers hoping for a bit of action, but I’m freezing cold. Oh well he says, I’ll help warm you up. On his return, he gives me a cuddle but instead of the usual pillow talk:

TS: Jesus Christ, you’re burning up.
EE: Huh? I already know you think I’m hot.
TS: No, your head is on fire. How long have you been sick?
EE: Umm I not sick.
TS: Yeah you are I could cook eggs on your forehead right now.
EE: Well now that you mention it I’ve been feeling really weird since Friday but I thought that was because I was weak.
TS: Another words sick. You really should go to the doctor.
EE: Why? They’ll charge an exorbitant amount to tell me to take ibuprofen, drink lots of fluids and rest.
TS: Yes but you also spent the weekend around my kid, so best find out if it is something serious.

Arggh stupid emotional blackmail. $75 later, the doctor tells me I have a temperature of 39.6 so I best take some ibuprofen, drink lots of fluids and rest in order to overcome the virus I contracted. Sure enough the next morning I wake up feverless and drenched in chlorinated sweat. Ick.

A new era of colonialism?

2008-11-22T07:22:00.002+13:00

According to the FT South Korean firm Daewoo plans to buy Madagascar. Ok well may be not the entire country just half the country’s arable land and apparently they aren't even paying for it:

Daewoo Logistics of South Korea said it expected to pay nothing to farm maize and palm oil in an area of Madagascar half the size of Belgium..

Of course the usual arguments will be trotted out. The land Daewoo is acquiring is undeveloped, the new farms will provide employment, and the Madagascar government will be taking a 30% cut of the farm profits in taxes. But I can't help wonder that the 'we're helping the poor helpless savages use their land better' is line that might have been used before. Like by Japan in the early part of the twentieth century.

Where pop psychology meets blogging

2008-11-21T13:46:00.002+13:00

According to typealyzer this blog is ISTP - The Mechanics

The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

Interesting as the person blogging is an INTJ

H/T DPF

Burma too man.!*

2008-11-19T19:54:00.003+13:00

For some reason the country formerly known as Burma has been on my mind lately as the next crazy backpacking destination. Yes I know that I'd be spending my traveling money supporting a fairly odious dictatorship with a henious human rights record. But as we all know, it's not like I haven't done that before. I quite enjoy backpacking through Southeast Asia because it is cheap, interesting, has awesome food, oh and did I mention cheap? The only places I've yet to hit are Burma, Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei. The other three don't particularly appeal. I could back to my favourite haunts, Laos or Cambodia, but Bagan and Inle lake are calling my name.

*"You know, North Korea has a pretty bad government, dude."

"Burma too, man!"

The Great Left Wing Migration

2008-11-18T09:58:00.001+13:00

Alright Labour voters the last week or so has been tough. Watching the results on the telly was hard. realizing that west Auckland had voted blue while South Auckland hadn't voted at all. Then to top the night off, Helen resigned and now finding that Phil Goff has been made leader of the Labour party thus completing the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC) takeover of New Zealand. Hopefully by now you all have been through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and have finally moved onto accepting that Labour lost the last election and Helen Clark will soon no longer be Prime Minister of New Zealand. You may now be pondering whether you should stay in New Zealand or join the great New Zealand global diaspora so let's take a look at some possible destinations for pinkos:

Canada
With Obama due to take residency in the Whitehouse, there are bound to be plenty of places in Canada, the Leftie's America, from Bush-dodging Americans migrating South. There's plenty to like about Canada, gay marriage, liberal attitudes to drug use, a huge welfare state, official bilingualism and Canadians don't go around starting unjust wars. But there is just one small problem, the Canadians have just a elected conservative government. Ok a conservative Canada is still far more left wing than America under Obama but the point of the relocation is escape the clutches of the VRWC.

Advantages: English speaking, large welfare state, beautiful scenery, socially progressive, close to the States.
Disadvantages: Conservative government recently elected, colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra for most of the year, a decent command of French would be required to land any sort of public sector job thanks to the stupid Quebecois.
Ease of Admission: If you are under 30, you could try for one of the 1400 working holiday spots otherwise a bloody nightmare if you can't find sponsored employment.

United States

After eight long years, the United States has finally elected a progressive president and a black one to boot can't really get much better than that for a lefty.

Advantages: Obama is president, enough said.
Disadvantages: Small welfare state, economy is in the shit, lots of guns, crazy Christians, likely to gain truck loads of weight due to serving sizes, Red states have yet to be ejected from the union.
Ease of Admission Unless you have sponsored employment, it is difficult to procure a visa to the States and even then fulfilling the requirements of the Department of Homeland security may leave you wanting to take advantage of the country's lax gun laws.

England

Apparently it is some sort of right of passage that you should go forth to England in search of riches to pay off ye olde student loan and to go traveling. With the demise of the Clark government, those student loans might not be interest free for much longer thus leaving you with no financial reason to stay in New Zealand especially now the New Zealand dollar is tanking. On the political front, the British Labour Party has finally replaced the evil right wing Blair with Scottish lefty Gordon Brown however the polls aren't looking good for Labour right now.

Advantages: English speaking, large welfare state, close to Europe for traveling, as geographically far away from John Key as you can get.
Disadvantages: Sharing the same land as the British monarchy likely to offend your republican tendencies, shitty weather, high unemployment, large numbers of New Zealanders already in residence, British Labour Party unlikely to win the next election.
Ease of Admission: Pretty bloody easy. Just about every New Zealander has a British grandparent which qualifies them for an ancestral visa.

China, Japan and South Korea

Ok so you are a trendy lefty and want to move somewhere far cooler than dreary old London, perhaps North East Asia is the place for you. The locals are always up to something whacky, you can earn reasonable money if you have the ability to speak English, and Lefty men will undoubtedly benefit from the Charisma man effect. The New Zealand dollar has recently tanked against the Japanese yen making paying off debt in New Zealand dollars a highly attractive proposition.

Advantages: Weird, cheap health care, cheap eats, low crime, excellent public transportation system and though it is against the pinko code of ethics, you will come to love your single digit tax rate.
Disadvantages: Language barriers, pollution, no welfare state, dodgy bosses and employment practices, small apartments, high cost of non-local food.
Ease of Admission: Have degree, will travel. To increase your desirability (and salary) a Certificate in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages is recommended. Those with talent and nous can easily network their way out of teaching into more interesting work.

The Third World

After years pontificating over your chardonnay about the woeful state of the world due to the VRWC, you decide to actually do something about it by volunteering your time in the Third World.

Advantages: Being the change you wish to see in the world, will look good on your CV when applying for positions in international organizations.
Disadvantages: War, crime and the kind of poverty that will make you cry.
Ease of Admission: Not as easy as you think. Even as a volunteer, you will suck up vast sums of money to any organization if you wish to go 'into the field.' Thus you have to demonstrate some skills that might be useful to the third world, like being able to fix bodies and build bridges (actual ones, not the political kind) . Though organizations still need people to go talk to donors in order to convince them to part with their money for large pet projects, a skill which you have honed well over the years, those jobs are highly competitive.

Europe

The birthplace of socialism, and also home to a number of International Agencies in need of bureaucrats. However two of Europe's major economies, France and Germany, are governed by the VRWC while many of the former eastern bloc states aren't so endeared to Social Democracy after suffering under communism.

Advantages: Food, architecture, large welfare states,
Disadvantages: Strikes, need a local lingo to gain employment, cost of living, high unemployment.
Ease of Admission: Much like the rest of the developed world, unless you are married to a local you'll need to find some sort of sponsored employment in order to gain a work permit.

Australia
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie? As far as destinations go, this is probably the best one for a Lefty. John Howard has recently been turfed out in favour of Kevin Rudd and the Labor party all hell bent on making the world a better place. We like people who want to make the world a better place as they like instituting social programmes that in turn need policy analysts to help run them. Jackpot baby!

Advantages: Close to home, speak English, nicer weather, just elected a Labour government, militant unions, generous welfare state to find employment in.
Disadvantages: Lethal wildlife, water restrictions, higher cost of living, has a far higher proportion of racist, sexist shitheads that make the callers of Newstalk ZB seem positively pinko in comparison.
Ease of Admission: Just hop on a plane, can't get much easier than that.

All hail the victory of the people's republic against the filthy capitalist aggressor swine

2008-11-17T09:13:00.003+13:00

The power of Juche

Ex-expat went along to the game which was rather boring until the People's Republic scored a goal some time in the second half.