Existential Life Matters

Fading Memories of Wellness: Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness | Diary of a Fibro Warrior

2026-10-17T20:32:00.000+01:00

It's Been So Long Since I Felt Truly Well: Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness

It's been so long since I've felt truly well that the memory of good health seems like a distant dream, blurred by the persistent presence of Fibromyalgia and chronic illness. The person I was before my diagnosis now feels like a character from a story I once knew. Almost too distant to grasp.

I've forgotten what it feels like to experience even a single day free from illness. Both my body and mind have adapted to this constant state of unwellness, relentlessly reminding me of my condition.

Even now, as I write to you, my fingers tingle with sensory reminders not to lose awareness of my physical limits. The tingling sensation serves as a caution, urging me to stay present and not to immerse myself too deeply or for too long in any activity.

This mindfulness helps me reduce the risk of exacerbating sensory sensitivity in my fingers and hands. It also helps prevent the onset of joint stiffness and chronic pain. This is just one example of the many symptoms I experience as a result of engaging in this activity. Other symptoms include cognitive challenges such as diminished concentration, headaches, backaches, and joint stiffness from sitting in one position for too long. Most of my symptoms get triggered by prolonged physical or mental exertion. Or sometimes by environmental factors I cannot control or predict.

The severe symptoms of my chronic condition can at times strip away the joy of undertaking activities, leaving behind only the stark reality of daily struggles.

Resisting the Signals: My Early Years with Fibromyalgia

In the early stages of my diagnosis, I resisted the signals my body was sending. I pushed myself through physical and mental tasks to the point of complete exhaustion, exacerbated by the realities of living with a chronic illness.

Why did I resist? It's simple. I've always been driven. Always pushing myself hard in everything I do. I was unaware of the harm I was causing my body. I often felt frustrated, angry, and saddened by my physical and mental limitations, especially since I was accustomed to a "normal," fast-paced lifestyle.

My ambition and work ethic, once sources of pride, now serve as reminders that I am not invincible. My illness shadows me constantly, an unyielding presence with each breath. The inevitable result of overexertion, be it physical or mental, is chronic flare-ups, compelling me to acknowledge and surrender to my condition's demands.

The Hard Lesson of Surrender

Living with a severe chronic illness has taught me the hard lesson of surrender. I've also learned that slowing down doesn't necessarily mean missing out on activities or life's opportunities. It signifies adapting to a new way of living, where I find gratitude and the importance of being present in every activity I engage in.

Viktor Frankl, who survived the concentration camps, wrote: "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." That is what surrender has meant for me. Not giving up, but changing what I can control: my mindset, my response, and the meaning I make from all of this.

This doesn't imply living a life free from ups and downs or devoid of challenges. On days when obstacles arise, no matter how long it takes, I work to retrain and reframe my mindset towards a more optimistic outlook.

Interestingly, it's in my dreams that I'm reacquainted with the sensation of being healthy. In these dreamscapes, I am briefly liberated from the constraints of living with chronic illness and experience life as it was before.

A Call to Awareness and Compassion

This blog post is more than just a personal reflection. It's a call to awareness.

For those who live with Fibromyalgia and chronic illnesses, every day is a testament to our resilience. And for those who have never experienced such conditions, I hope this glimpse into our world fosters understanding and empathy.

Let's bridge the gap between the unseen struggles and the shared human experience, illuminating the path towards compassion and support for all.

A Question for Fibro Warriors

How do you, as a Fibro Warrior, navigate the daily challenges of not feeling well both mentally and physically? I'd love to hear about your experiences and the strategies you use to overcome these obstacles and find moments of wellness amidst the struggle.

Share your thoughts in the comments below. You are not alone.

Access Useful Fibro & ME/CFS Resources I’ve put together for you.

For more of my writing, you can also follow Diary of Fibro Warrior on Substack.

Disclaimer
I am not a medical professional. This post is based on my personal lived experience and is for educational and supportive purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your health.

Cardiomyopathy: The Invisible Chronic Illness That Took My Sister| A dedication to my little sister, Lorraine, who would have turned 30 today.

2026-10-12T20:10:44.252+01:00

This is a little off-topic for this space. Normally, I write about fibromyalgia and ME/CFS. But today, October 12th, my little sister would have turned 30, and I’m finally ready to share part of her story. It connects to invisible illness; it’s a dedication to who she was, and I hope it raises awareness of a condition that is far more dangerous than most of us realise.

The road trip

After my parents divorced, my dad and I went on one of his architectural road trips, which I joined now and then. Out of nowhere, he asked how I’d feel about having additional younger siblings.

I was shocked, and I answered from a place of hurt. I lived with my mum and visited him, and I thought: you could have spent more time with us, and now you’re thinking of more children? We left it there and never spoke of it again, until my dad and stepmum had my little sister.

When she was born, I adored her. I never saw her as half of anything. She was my sister.

As she grew into a little person with her own expressions and needs, I grew fonder and closer to her. She had a graceful nature: thoughtful, caring, almost angelic. She gave beyond her immediate family and quietly served her community, never seeking recognition.

We shared something, too. In my dad’s household, she was the eldest, just as I am the eldest in mine. I would look at her and think, you’ve taken on the big sister’s responsibilities, and I felt protective, wanting her to have her childhood still.

Then life took a hard turn. My stepmum passed unexpectedly, though I knew she’d been unwell. My dad followed not long after. About two or three years later, my sister began to develop an underlying condition that none of us knew about. There was a misdiagnosis.

Cardiomyopathy and Chronic Illnesses

It wasn’t picked up. She had cardiomyopathy, an invisible and deadly condition. When it isn’t recognised in medical examinations, it can quietly affect the heart until it causes serious harm.

By the time we knew, we did everything we could. We searched for the best facilities and the best doctors, but it wasn’t enough. I learned so many lessons along the way.

Before this, I knew about diabetes and high blood pressure. My dad had diabetes, and some extended family had high blood pressure. These were well-known conditions, and I thought of them as things adults get as they age. Cardiomyopathy was a shock because it struck someone young. I knew of young footballers who collapsed from cardiac arrest, but I’d never put a name to it until it hit closer to home.

We flew out to get her the best medical care. During her second examination in hospital, she went into sudden cardiac arrest. I had just stepped away for a few minutes with a family member when a doctor came rushing to say Lorraine had collapsed.

Time stood still. I felt stuck, as if I were in a movie, unable to move or speak. A nurse offered me water; I felt hot, and I saw stars sparkling around me. It was shock. I made myself stand and walk down the corridor, past medics running and talking about transferring her to the main hospital, trying to find my courage to reach her.

She was taken straight to ICU, where they had to induce a coma to stabilise her. She woke only once. Her heart couldn’t sustain her being awake, and they couldn’t stabilise her condition.

I’m grateful I was with her, though I wish it had been earlier and under better circumstances. I noticed her quiet presence, her resilience, and her determination to fight, even when she couldn’t breathe easily. She stayed alert and calm so she wouldn’t put her body into a panic, doing everything she could for the best medical attention. She stayed resilient through months in that coma.

During that time, I learned to find peace in a conflicting time. When you should be focused only on the person you love, there are insurance matters, financial questions, hospital management, and different people needing something from you. I had to hold all of that while keeping my attention on her.

What is cardiomyopathy, and why can it go unnoticed?

This part is general information, and I’m not a medical professional. For authoritative guidance, please see the resources at the end.

Cardiomyopathy is a group of diseases of the heart muscle. The muscle may become enlarged, thickened or stiff, so the heart struggles to pump blood around the body. There are several types, including dilated, hypertrophic, restrictive and arrhythmogenic cardiomyopathy. Some forms run in families, while others can develop from other causes.

Symptoms can include:

Breathlessness, at rest or during activity
Tiredness and fatigue
Swelling in the ankles, legs or abdomen
Palpitations or a racing, irregular heartbeat
Dizziness, light-headedness or fainting
Chest discomfort

Why it can be invisible:

Some people have no symptoms at all for a long time, and may look completely well.
Symptoms such as tiredness, breathlessness and dizziness are common and can be mistaken for other things, including stress, anxiety, asthma or simply being run down.
Not everyone has the same type or the same symptoms, so it can slip past a routine check.
In some cases, a sudden cardiac event is the first sign.

That last point is why I think awareness matters. If you have unexplained breathlessness, fainting, palpitations or chest discomfort, or a family history of cardiomyopathy or sudden unexplained death at a young age, please raise it with a medical professional and keep asking if something doesn’t feel right.

I see you

What I most want to say is this: I see you.

If you’ve lost someone suddenly, especially to an invisible illness, I see you.

And if you’re living with a challenging invisible chronic illness, I see you too.

It isn’t easy to make professionals understand what you’re going through when you look well on the outside. It’s hard to explain an internal struggle, and harder still after years of being misdiagnosed or dismissed.

Life is too precious

We hear that “life is too precious” all the time. It lands differently when it hits close to home, whether through loss or through your own illness.

Through my own trials, I’m always connected to what my sister went through, and to losing my dad, whose death was also unexpected. They would have wanted to live. My sister fought so hard.

So when I’m in a flare, or struggling to explain myself to a doctor who doesn’t understand, I tell myself: be patient, keep going, keep fighting. When it feels like I’m up against a wall that can’t be broken, or in a sadness that won’t lift, I remember there were losses before, and that I’m still here to keep going. I take it one day at a time.

A lifetime plus infinity

I’m forever grateful for my mon petit ange, my little sister, who came into my life for such a short time. In her 18 years, I believe she lived to the fullest she could. She was taken too soon, yet she gave so much with her heart. She taught me lessons I’ll never forget.

Lorraine, I will love you for a lifetime plus infinity. There’s not a moment, not a second, that I don’t think of you.

And to everyone who has sat with me through this, thank you for being here. Until next time.

If my story spoke to you, whether you’re living with an invisible chronic illness or missing someone you’ve lost, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Tell me who you carry with you, or what keeps you going on the hard days.

I see you. You are not alone.

Yesterday, October 11, was International Day of the Girl Child, which recognises girls’ rights and the challenges they face worldwide, including their health. I’m thinking of Lorraine, and of every young woman whose symptoms deserve to be heard and to have access to health services.

Helpful resources

Access Useful Fibro & ME/CFS Resources I’ve put together for you.

For more of my writing, you can also follow Diary of Fibro Warrior on Substack.

Disclaimer: This post shares my personal story and general educational information only. I’m not a medical professional, and nothing here is medical advice, a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Symptoms like these have many possible causes. If you’re worried about your heart or your family history, or if you have sudden chest pain, severe breathlessness or fainting, please speak to a doctor or qualified healthcare professional, and seek emergency help immediately where needed.

Fibromyalgia Warriors Unite: Tips to Minimize Symptoms and Maximize Well-Being

2024-01-29T21:26:00.001+00:00

Living with Fibromyalgia can be a daily battle, but finding strategies to minimize symptoms and improve overall well-being is essential. On our 'Living with Fibromyalgia' Facebook Page, Fibro Warriors and Community Members generously shared their valuable insights and tips on how to navigate life with these challenging conditions. We want to express our gratitude to each member for their contributions and offer these suggestions as a source of inspiration and support.

Embrace the Power of Rest: Some warriors recommend taking a "PJ Day" when your body needs it. Resting for a day can prevent prolonged misery and fatigue. Acknowledge the importance of self-care and allow yourself to rejuvenate.
Warmth in Cold Temps: Stay warm during cold weather with a heated mattress pad and heating pad. Keeping warm can help alleviate muscle tension and discomfort, making sleep more restorative.
Heat and Comfort: Find comfort in heat, whether it's a heating blanket, hot showers, or wearing warm, comfortable clothes. Heat can soothe muscles and provide relief.
Lifestyle Changes: Warriors emphasize the importance of pacing, healthy eating, and gentle exercise. Lifestyle changes, no matter how gradual, can have a positive impact on your well-being. Self-care is key to managing symptoms.
Going at Your Own Pace: Pay close attention to your body's signals and avoid pushing yourself beyond your limits. Instead of dwelling on past capabilities or comparing your progress to others, embrace your current stage on this journey and practice self-compassion. Going at your own pace is essential for effectively managing your symptoms
Practicing Self-TLC: Prioritize self-care by engaging in calming activities like swimming, meditation, and nature walks. Establishing a bedtime routine, such as a warm Epsom salt bath and reading, can also promote better sleep.
Hot Baths and Muscle Relaxants: Find relief in hot baths or showers, gentle exercise, muscle relaxants, and specific prescribed medications at bedtime.
Taking Alone Time: Enjoy the benefits of alone time. Solitude can provide a much-needed break from external stressors.
Exploring Alternative Therapies: Consider exploring alternative natural therapies, for potential symptom relief. Meditation: For symptom relief, consider the benefits of meditation, among other strategies. Meditation offers a holistic approach to managing symptoms, enhancing both physical and emotional well-being. Exploring new approaches can be an individualized path to wellness.
Sleep Comfort: Create a cozy sleep environment with a memory foam topper, memory foam pillows, and a heavy faux lambswool blanket. Sleep quality can significantly impact your well-being.

A Holistic Approach: Take a holistic approach to wellness, including hot baths with Epsom salts, staying hydrated and pacing.
Nutritional Support and Vitamins: Explore dietary changes, such as cutting out gluten, to identify potential triggers. Make mindful dietary choices and consider incorporating vitamins into your routine.
Seeking Support: Seek support from the Fibromyalgia Community; choose an uplifting and positive outlooking community. You're not alone, and there's a network of warriors ready to stand with you.
Specialist Medical Guidance: When it comes to comprehensive care for fibromyalgia, consider seeking integrated medical treatment, which may include consultation with a Fibromyalgia Medical Specialist, along with access to physiotherapy, nutrition guidance, occupational therapy, and supportive group therapy sessions among fellow Fibro Warriors. Remember to prioritize where possible consultation with specialized medical professionals for guidance on your well-being and medication.

These valuable insights from our community showcase the strength and resilience of Fibromyalgia Warriors. We thank each contributor for sharing their experiences and strategies. While everyone's journey is unique, these collective tips serve as a source of inspiration and support for others navigating the challenges of Fibromyalgia. Remember that you are not alone, and there's a community of warriors here to support you on your journey. Together, we can continue to minimize symptoms and maximize well-being.

Checkout Chiko’s Amazon Store »» Fibromyalgia Relief Products

Disclaimer: This post includes Amazon Affiliate links. I am an Amazon Affiliate Influencer, and I may earn small commissions.

Navigating the Sensory Storm Living with Fibromyalgia

2024-01-18T17:36:00.005+00:00

Fibromyalgia, is a condition that’s much more than just chronic pain. It’s a sensory overload, a daily challenge that we brave with resilience. I’ve gathered some insightful facts, combining personal experience with research from credible sources like the Mayo Clinic and Fibromyalgia Resources, to shed light on what it truly means to live with fibromyalgia.

1. Amplified Sensations: The Unseen Battle

"Fibromyalgia: The silent amplifier of pain. It's not just the aches, but the way our brains intensify every sensation."

Our journey with fibromyalgia begins in the complex network of our brains. It’s not just about the pain we feel; it’s about how our brains process and amplify these sensations. It’s an invisible battle, where our brain turns into an overactive sensor, making every experience more intense.

2. The Overwhelming World Around Us

"Living with Fibromyalgia means being painfully aware. Loud noises, bright lights, and even certain smells can turn an ordinary day into a sensory challenge."

Imagine a world where everyday sounds and lights feel like an assault. This is our reality. A car horn, loud noises, a brightly lit room, or even strong perfumes can be overwhelming. It’s a testament to our daily courage as we navigate through these sensory challenges.

3. When Touch Becomes Pain

"In the world of a Fibro warrior, even a gentle touch can feel like a wave of pain. Our skin remembers and reacts, making every contact a test of resilience."

A simple handshake or hug can be a source of pain for us. Our skin, the barrier to the world, becomes a canvas of sensitivity, responding to every touch with a memory of pain. It’s a challenge that we face with silent bravery.

4. Sensory Storm: Beyond Pain

"Fibromyalgia is more than pain; it's a sensory storm. Every sound, light, and smell can strike like lightning."

This quote perfectly captures the essence of living with fibromyalgia. It’s not just chronic pain; it’s a storm of sensory inputs. Every sound, light, and smell hits us with the force of a storm, leaving us to find our calm amidst the chaos.

5. The Fog of Fibromyalgia

"In the fog of Fibromyalgia, even the simplest tasks demand extraordinary effort. Our minds are clouded, but our determination shines through."

‘Fibro fog’ is a real struggle. Simple tasks like remembering a name or focusing on a conversation require immense effort. It feels like walking through a thick fog, but our determination acts as our guiding light.

My Parting Words To You

Living with fibromyalgia is an everyday battle against a storm of sensory and cognitive challenges. But remember, we are warriors. We navigate this storm with resilience and courage, finding strength in our struggles.

I hope this post brings awareness and understanding to our daily battles. If you find this helpful, please subscribe for more insights and join our community of Fibro Warriors. Together, we’re stronger.

Stay strong, keep fighting Fibro Warrior!

Fighting Fibromyalgia with Food: Recipes for Symptom Relief

2024-01-09T23:41:00.001+00:00

Living with fibromyalgia or any chronic illness is undoubtedly challenging, and managing the symptoms can be a daily battle. While there may not be a one-size-fits-all solution to alleviate the pain and fatigue that often accompany these conditions, one aspect of our lives that we can have a significant influence over is our diet. The foods we choose to consume can either exacerbate our symptoms or become powerful allies in our fight against fibromyalgia.

In our journey as fibromyalgia and chronic illness warriors, we understand that the right nutrition can make a world of difference. It's not about fad diets or miraculous cures but rather about finding foods that nourish our bodies and help reduce the impact of our symptoms. So, in the spirit of sharing and supporting one another, let's dive into the world of fibromyalgia-friendly foods and secret recipes for symptom relief.

1. The Power of Anti-Inflammatory Foods

Inflammation is often at the core of fibromyalgia symptoms. Many warriors have found relief by incorporating anti-inflammatory foods into their diets. These include:

Fatty Fish: Salmon, mackerel, and sardines are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which have anti-inflammatory properties.

Leafy Greens: Kale, spinach, and Swiss chard are packed with antioxidants and vitamins that can help combat inflammation.

Turmeric: This spice contains curcumin, known for its anti-inflammatory effects. It can be added to various dishes or consumed as a tea.

Berries: Blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are high in antioxidants, which can reduce inflammation.

2. Energizing Breakfast Ideas

Mornings can be especially tough for those dealing with chronic fatigue. What breakfast recipes give you the energy you need to start the day? Share your favorite recipes, such as:

Overnight Oats: A simple mix of rolled oats, almond milk, chia seeds, and berries left to soak overnight can provide a nutritious and easy-to-digest breakfast.

Green Smoothie: Blend spinach, banana, Greek yogurt, and a dash of honey for a refreshing and energy-boosting start.

3. Comforting Soups and Stews

There's something about a warm bowl of soup that can soothe the body and the soul. Do you have a go-to soup or stew recipe that helps you on difficult days? Share recipes that incorporate anti-inflammatory ingredients, like:

Turmeric Lentil Soup: A hearty blend of red lentils, turmeric, and vegetables can offer both comfort and inflammation relief.

Chicken and Vegetable Broth: Loaded with chicken, a variety of veggies, and herbs, this homemade broth can be a comforting and anti-inflammatory base for many dishes.

4. Creative Snacking for Pain Management

Snacking doesn't have to be a guilty pleasure. It can also be an opportunity to fuel our bodies with goodness. Tell us about your favorite fibromyalgia-friendly snacks, whether it's:

Homemade Energy Balls: Mix nuts, seeds, dates, and a touch of honey to create bite-sized energy boosters.

Veggie Sticks with Hummus: Carrot, cucumber, and bell pepper sticks paired with a homemade hummus dip can be a satisfying and nutritious snack.

5. Desserts That Delight Without the Guilt

Yes, you can satisfy your sweet tooth without aggravating your symptoms. Share your dessert recipes that are low in sugar and high in flavor, such as:

Gluten-Free Chocolate Avocado Brownies: Avocado adds creaminess and nutrients to these delicious brownies.

Refreshing Fruit Salad: A medley of fresh fruits drizzled with a honey-lime dressing can be a sweet and nutritious dessert.

6. Hydration Hacks

Staying hydrated is crucial for overall health, but what beverages do you find particularly soothing or energizing? Whether it's:

Herbal Teas: Chamomile, ginger, or peppermint teas can have calming and anti-inflammatory properties.

Infused Water: Add slices of cucumber, lemon, or berries to your water for a refreshing twist that encourages hydration.

7. Mindful Eating Practices

In addition to specific recipes, let's explore the concept of mindful eating. Share your insights on how being present during meals and savoring each bite can positively impact your symptoms and overall well-being.

Remember, we're all in this together, and your experiences and recipes can make a world of difference to someone else fighting the same battle. So, don your apron, fire up the stove, and let's cook up a storm of support and symptom relief. Your secret recipes may just become someone else's lifeline in their journey with Fibromyalgia. Together, we can turn food into a powerful ally against chronic illness.

Embracing the Storm: Finding Strength and Purpose in the Journey with Fibromyalgia

2024-01-07T05:30:00.001+00:00

Living with fibromyalgia or a chronic illness often feels like navigating through an unending storm. The quote, "Embrace life's mystical wonder; each challenge is a stepping stone to wisdom. Confront adversity with courage, knowing that through each struggle, we find strength and clarity. Remember, the most vibrant rainbows follow the darkest storms," captures the essence of hope and resilience that can guide those on this journey.

Finding Fulfillment Amidst Chronic Illness:

1. Pursue Enjoyable Activities: Engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy can significantly improve one's quality of life. This could be anything from gardening, painting, to gentle yoga or meditation. The key is to find something that resonates with your interests and abilities.

2. Mindful Living: Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help manage the emotional aspects of living with a chronic condition. It can reduce stress, which is often a trigger for flare-ups.

3. Connect with Others: Joining support groups or communities of people with similar experiences can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Sharing stories and tips can be both comforting and informative.

Minimizing Flare-ups:

1. Diet and Exercise: A balanced diet and regular, gentle exercise can help manage symptoms. Avoiding foods known to trigger flare-ups and staying active within comfortable limits can make a significant difference.

2. Regular Sleep Patterns: Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule is crucial. Poor sleep can exacerbate symptoms, so it's important to establish a relaxing nighttime routine.

The Role of Mental Health:

Sadness and stress are not just emotional states; they can have physical impacts, particularly for those with fibromyalgia. Managing mental health is crucial. Existentialist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche famously said, "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." Finding purpose and meaning in life, even amidst the challenges of chronic illness, can be a powerful tool for maintaining a positive outlook.

Engaging in meaningful activities, practicing gratitude, and seeking professional help when needed are all strategies that can improve mental well-being. Therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective in managing the psychological aspects of chronic illness.

Conclusion:

Living with fibromyalgia or a chronic illness is undeniably challenging, but it is also an opportunity to discover inner strength and resilience. As Viktor Frankl, another existentialist thinker, said, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." Embracing this perspective can transform the journey from one of suffering to one of meaningful endurance and growth.

Resources:

"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl, 1946, Beacon Press: A seminal work by Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, introducing the concept of logotherapy and emphasizing the pursuit of life's meaning even in extreme suffering.

"Twilight of the Idols" by Friedrich Nietzsche, 1889, Published by C.G. Naumann: This work includes Nietzsche's famous quote "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." It's a philosophical critique of German culture and a reflection on life's purpose and resilience.

"Diary of a Fibromyalgia Warrior," by Chiko Matenda, 2023, Amazon: Unseen Struggles, Navigating Life and Survival with an Invisible Chronic Illness.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or mental health. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog. The insights and information provided here are based on general contexts and may not apply to individual circumstances. Your health and well-being are important, and making informed decisions with the guidance of healthcare professionals is paramount.

Breaking Mental Barriers: A Fibro Warrior's Journey to Self-Confidence

2024-01-03T13:44:00.005+00:00

These past three days, I immersed myself in interior decorating—a task I once deemed mentally and physically beyond my capacity as a Fibro Warrior. As the paint dried and the furniture found its place, I found myself grappling with severe widespread chronic pain, a harsh reminder that my condition dictates my limits.

In moments like these, I forget my disability, succumbing to the illusion that I can power through unscathed. This false reality occasionally sneaks into my mindset, teasing me with the idea of being well again. It's a mental struggle that has persisted since the early days of my Fibromyalgia diagnosis, a time when waking felt like a cruel return to a nightmarish reality.

Lessons Learned: One of the most significant challenges of living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue lies in the mental realm. Integrated Medical Care, including Group Therapy and Physiotherapy, has become my ally in confronting self-limiting beliefs. The initial hurdle was learning to slow down, a stark contrast to my accustomed fast-paced lifestyle. It took four years to relearn how to walk and dance, and I'm gradually rebuilding my confidence to jog freely.

Existential Perspective: Embracing the essence of existentialism, the journey becomes not just a physical transformation but a profound exploration of self. The hill, once a symbol of dread, transforms into an opportunity for existential growth—a reminder that challenges, though daunting, are integral to the human experience. In navigating these challenges, I've come to understand that life is not about immediate accomplishments but the continuous process of becoming.

This week's mental challenge is confronting a local hill, an obstacle I've avoided since my diagnosis. Confidence in my physical abilities is on the rise. Previously, fear and self-doubt fueled by chronic pain kept me from climbing inclines. Physically, my body is calmer now, but mentally, the narrative persisted—the hill equated to inevitable suffering.

Now, with a changed confidence level and a more calculated approach to physical activities, I'm ready to break through this mental barrier. I acknowledge the possibility of experiencing pain and fatigue as I climb, but the key difference lies in my newfound mindset. No longer driven by the need for immediate accomplishment, I embrace a slower, more mindful approach, ensuring I rest when necessary.

Existential Insight:

The journey is ongoing, and challenges remain, but the evolving interplay between my physical and mental well-being reflects the resilience of a Fibro Warrior. The hill represents not just an ascent but a triumph over self-doubt, a testament to the strength cultivated through facing the toughest battles—both within and beyond.

Embrace the New Year with Resilience and Hope | Fibro Warrior

2023-12-31T14:00:00.002+00:00

As we stand on the threshold of a new year, let's welcome 2024 with open hearts, unwavering resilience, and a spirit filled with hope. Each one of you is a true Fibro Warrior, battling through the challenges of fibromyalgia with unparalleled strength and courage.

Living with fibromyalgia is undoubtedly tough, and yet, here you are—navigating through the storm, one day at a time. In the face of chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and the myriad of symptoms that Fibromyalgia presents, it's normal to feel overwhelmed, low, or even depressed. But remember, you are not alone. Your Fibro Warrior community is here, united by shared experiences and a collective determination to find light amid the darkness. Acknowledging Your Strength: A Journey of Triumphs Take a moment and acknowledge the battles you've faced, the mountains you've climbed, and the strength you've discovered within yourself. Your journey is unique, and your progress, no matter how gradual, is a testament to your incredible strength. Living with fibromyalgia is an ongoing challenge, but every step forward, no matter how small, is a triumph. A Collective Resolution: Embracing Self-Compassion As we step into the New Year, let's set an intention together—a collective resolution to embrace self-compassion. Be gentle with yourselves, recognizing that every victory, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is a crucial building block of resilience. Share your experiences with your fellow warriors, draw strength from this supportive community, and celebrate each other's victories. Celebrating Victories, Big and Small

In 2024, let hope be your guiding light. Hope for better days, for breakthroughs in treatment, and for moments of reprieve from the grasp of pain. Your strength is immeasurable, and together, we will continue to wage this Fibro War with unwavering courage.

Examples of Resilience in the Face of Fibromyalgia: 1. Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate mindfulness practices such as meditation and deep breathing into your daily routine. These practices can help manage stress and improve overall well-being. 2. Support Networks: Build a strong support network by connecting with fellow Fibro Warriors. Share your experiences, offer and receive support, and create a sense of camaraderie. 3. Adaptive Strategies: Explore adaptive strategies to make daily tasks more manageable. This might include breaking tasks into smaller steps, using assistive devices, or finding alternative ways to perform activities. 4. Creative Outlets: Engage in creative outlets such as art, writing, or music. Creative expression can serve as a therapeutic outlet, allowing you to channel your emotions and find moments of joy. 5. Education and Advocacy: Stay informed about Fibromyalgia, its treatments, and advocacy efforts. Knowledge empowers you to make informed decisions about your health and be an advocate for yourself and others. Wishing you a New Year filled with moments of joy, pockets of peace, and an abundance of strength. With love and solidarity, Your Fellow Fibro Warrior - Chiko💜

Learn more about my story "Living Diary of a Fibromyalgia Warrior"

Unmasking the Unseen Struggles: Navigating Employment Challenges with Fibromyalgia

2023-12-12T05:39:00.001+00:00

Living with Fibromyalgia presents a unique set of challenges that often makes consistent work difficult. The unpredictable nature of chronic illness symptoms adds an extra layer of complexity, making it challenging to maintain a regular work routine. In this blog post, we'll explore the hurdles faced by individuals with living Fibromyalgia, discuss potential job opportunities, and shed light on the isolation and misunderstanding that often accompany this chronic illness.

The Unpredictable Struggle: Fibromyalgia and Work

Living with Fibromyalgia introduces individuals to a complex and often unpredictable landscape where symptoms fluctuate on a day-to-day basis. Symptoms such as chronic pain, chronic fatigue, insomnia, stomach and bowel problems, sensory issues, headaches and cognitive challenges create an unpredictable landscape for those trying to hold down a job.

Chronic pain, a hallmark of Fibromyalgia, can manifest differently each day, affecting various parts of the body and intensity levels.

Chronic fatigue becomes a constant companion, leaving individuals drained and exhausted despite rest.

Insomnia further compounds the challenge, disrupting sleep patterns and contributing to the relentless fatigue. The cumulative effect of sleep disturbances intensifies the struggle to maintain focus and productivity during working hours.

Stomach and bowel problems add an additional layer of complexity, as digestive issues may fluctuate, impacting comfort and concentration.

Sensory issues heighten the sensitivity to stimuli, making a typical work environment potentially overwhelming. Bright lights, loud noises, or even the texture of clothing can trigger discomfort or pain, requiring individuals to navigate their surroundings cautiously.

Persistent headaches add yet another layer to this intricate puzzle, affecting cognitive function and making it difficult to concentrate on tasks.

Cognitive challenges pose a significant hurdle for those with Fibromyalgia. The so-called 'fibro fog' can manifest as memory lapses, difficulty concentrating, and challenges in processing information. This cognitive cloud further complicates the already demanding task of maintaining a consistent work routine.

The struggle to uphold a predictable work routine is a multifaceted experience that extends beyond the physical symptoms. Often, this struggle remains invisible to others, contributing to widespread misunderstanding and isolation. The unpredictability of symptoms means that what might be manageable one day becomes an insurmountable challenge the next. This inconsistency can lead to missed workdays, increased stress, and a sense of frustration for individuals striving to navigate both their professional and personal lives.

The invisible nature of these struggles is a key aspect that frequently leads to misunderstanding. Colleagues and employers may find it challenging to comprehend the ever-shifting nature of Fibromyalgia symptoms, contributing to a sense of isolation for those managing their chronic condition. Raising awareness about these unseen challenges is crucial in fostering understanding and empathy in the workplace and beyond.

Ideal Jobs and Entrepreneurship Opportunities for Individuals with Fibromyalgia

Despite the unique challenges posed by Fibromyalgia, there are jobs opportunities and entrepreneurship paths that can be more accommodating for individuals with Fibromyalgia. Consider roles that offer flexibility, such as remote work or positions with adaptable schedules. Freelancing and entrepreneurship also provide a platform for individuals to create a work environment that suits their unique needs.

Embracing these options can bring about a range of benefits that enhance the overall well-being of those with Fibromyalgia:

1. Flexibility for Health Management: Remote work and positions with adaptable schedules provide the flexibility necessary for managing health effectively. Individuals can tailor their work hours around periods of lower pain or fatigue, allowing for better self-care and improved overall health. 2. Reduced Commuting Stress: Remote work eliminates the need for daily commutes, reducing the physical and mental stress associated with traveling to a physical office. This can be especially beneficial for individuals with Fibromyalgia, as it minimizes exposure to environmental triggers and preserves energy for more essential tasks. 3. Personalized Work Environment: Entrepreneurship and freelancing can empower individuals to create a personalized work environment that caters to their unique needs. From choosing a comfortable workspace to controlling sensory stimuli, having autonomy over one's work environment contributes to a more manageable and supportive setting. 4. Pacing and Prioritizing Tasks: Entrepreneurship allows for better control over workloads and deadlines. Individuals can pace themselves, prioritizing tasks based on their energy levels and focusing on what matters most. This autonomy helps in avoiding burnout and managing symptoms more effectively. 5. Opportunities for Rest and Recovery: Entrepreneurship often enables individuals to integrate periods of rest and recovery seamlessly into their workday. Whether it's taking short breaks to stretch or incorporating relaxation techniques, having control over work hours allows for a healthier balance between productivity and self-care. 6. Enhanced Job Satisfaction: Engaging in work aligned with personal interests and passions, a common aspect of entrepreneurship, can contribute to increased job satisfaction. This positive connection with one's work can have a profound impact on mental well-being, serving as a source of motivation even on challenging days. 7. Community Support in Entrepreneurship: Joining entrepreneurial communities provides a supportive network of individuals who understand the unique challenges of managing a business while dealing with Fibromyalgia. This shared experience fosters a sense of community, encouragement, and shared knowledge. By exploring roles that offer flexibility, considering entrepreneurship, and embracing opportunities that align with personal well-being, individuals with Fibromyalgia can not only navigate the challenges of employment but also create fulfilling and sustainable careers that contribute positively to their overall quality of life.

The Isolation of Chronic Illness

Living with Fibromyalgia can be isolating. The inability to consistently engage in social activities or maintain regular work hours can lead to a sense of detachment from the world. This isolation is further intensified by the lack of understanding from those who do not grasp the intricacies of living with a chronic illness.

Addressing Misunderstandings

One of the prevalent misunderstandings surrounding Fibromyalgia is the assumption that if someone is not working, they must not be suffering. This blog post aims to bridge that gap by providing insights into the daily struggles faced by individuals with Fibromyalgia, emphasizing that the inability to work consistently is not a reflection of laziness but a consequence of the unpredictable nature of the illness.

In conclusion, living with Fibromyalgia involves navigating a multitude of challenges, particularly in the realm of consistent employment. By shedding light on the unseen struggles, exploring adaptable work opportunities, and addressing common misunderstandings, we hope to foster a greater understanding of what it truly means to work while living with a chronic illness.

Useful Resources and platforms that offer support, information, and opportunities for individuals dealing with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, particularly focusing on entrepreneurship and work-from-home opportunities:

United Kingdom:

Europe:

United States:

Work from Home Opportunities:

These resources cover a range of topics from condition-specific information to entrepreneurial support and work-from-home opportunities. Always ensure to verify the credibility of any platform or resource before engaging with them.

Disclaimer: The information and resources presented in this article are intended for educational purposes only. Individuals dealing with Fibromyalgia should always seek professional help and guidance for their specific circumstances. While the provided resources aim to offer support and information, it is crucial to consult with healthcare professionals, disability advisors, or relevant experts to receive personalized advice tailored to individual needs. Fibromyalgia is a complex condition, and treatment plans should be developed in consultation with qualified healthcare professionals who can provide comprehensive assessments and recommendations.

Navigating the Unseen Struggles of Fibromyalgia in the Workplace: Beyond the Polished Exterior

2023-12-12T04:32:00.005+00:00

Fibromyalgia, akin to the end product of a successful story, presents a polished exterior, concealing the intricate steps taken to reach this state. It's comparable to the unseen manual labor that goes into constructing a new home. On the surface, individuals living with Fibromyalgia might present a polished external appearance. However, what often remains hidden are the unseen challenges and obstacles they encounter.

Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome entails the unseen struggle of completing tasks, often taking longer than usual. It's an ongoing battle to maintain cognitive alertness while combating brain fog, which, at times, results in postponed tasks. Behind the scenes, there's an internal conflict—a sense of guilt for being unable to accomplish basic tasks and the mind's struggle to remain focused amid increased brain impairment from sensory overload. In the midst of engaging in a conversation, what's imperceptible is the person navigating a multitude of internal sensory activities alongside other symptoms while attempting to maintain a semblance of normalcy. Unseen are their efforts to articulate words, maintain focus, and remain engaged despite cognitive challenges. What's often left unspoken are the difficulties individuals face in completing basic tasks and their reluctance to reveal their imperfections or express their embarrassment about their struggles.

The Unseen Realities of Fibromyalgia: Comparing the 'Normal' Perception with Daily Struggles

The perception of looking 'normal' frequently results in a diminished understanding of a 'Fibromyalgia Warrior's challenges. Envision a scenario where both a 'Fibromyalgia Warrior' and a 'Healthy Work Colleague' are assigned identical tasks in an office. The healthy colleague can swiftly commence work without any hindrance, whereas the 'Fibro Warrior,' must carefully consider various factors before initiating the same tasks.

For the 'Fibro Warrior,' simple actions like sitting comfortably, typing, or even gripping a pen become daunting. They grapple with a cascade of physical ailments, from body pain, muscle stiffness to sensory disturbances in their fingers. As they engage in the task with enthusiasm, uncontrollable coldness engulfs their body due to temperature regulation issues, triggering fatigue and cognitive challenges.

Concentration becomes a battleground as chronic fatigue sets in, leading to cognitive impairment, headaches, and sensory overload from the office environment. With additional struggles like bladder issues and stomach pain, completing the task becomes a near-impossible feat. Ultimately, the 'Fibro Warrior' must concede defeat for the day, hoping for a better opportunity to finish the task another day, if physically and mentally possible.

Let's not overlook the sheer physical and mental effort it takes for the 'Fibro Warrior' to commute to and from work, alongside the daily chores while enduring the relentless symptoms of Fibromyalgia.

Hence, sustaining employment in a conventional job setting can become unrealistic for a 'Fibro Warrior' due to the demands for consistent time management, attendance, and task completion. Accommodating a person with a disabling condition that presents unpredictable symptoms becomes a challenge for employers. These symptoms can unpredictably trigger, necessitating the individual to take sick leave from work.

It's important to note that not all individuals living with Fibromyalgia are unable to work. People experience varying symptoms and cope differently. Some find alternative self-employment options more suitable. For instance, working from the comfort of their home environment allows them to operate during periods when they experience fewer physical or mental struggles due to their condition.

Some individuals find it challenging to sustain working from home due to the unpredictable nature of their symptoms. They struggle to consistently complete tasks or meet expected results due to their condition's variability.

Returning to the beginning, the story of how long it took a Fibro Warrior to complete a task often ends up hidden. What's usually evident is the finished product and not the laborious struggle behind it. While occasionally their story might be heard or seen, what lingers in memory for others is their polished appearance and completed tasks. Unseen is the agonizing pain, muscle stiffness triggered by simple actions like sitting longer than expected, chronic fatigue, sensory issues, headaches, digestive problems, and cognitive challenges faced to stay focused on tasks. The aim was to complete this article in one sitting, whilst striving to manage despite the brain's limitations and physical aliment challenges.

This encapsulates the daily reality of my life with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, revealing the unseen struggles of living with a chronic illness.

Learn more about my story, "Diary of A Fibromyalgia Warrior: Unseen Struggles: Navigating Life and Survival with an Invisible Chronic Illness."

Brain Fog Living It's Best Life & Season Without Me | Fall Season

2023-10-13T20:00:00.005+01:00

Brain Fog is undeniably one of the most formidable symptoms when navigating the complexities of a chronic illness like Fibromyalgia, particularly since it can be triggered by shifts in weather. The fall season, with its wet, foggy, and overcast conditions, seems to offer the ideal environment for Brain Fog to thrive. One of the most arduous challenges lies in the powerlessness to prevent or treat these symptoms. The only recourse is to endure the crippling and disabling effects of Brain Fog.

There's no magic cure or pill for alleviating the symptoms of brain fog. It's not something one can simply sleep off and wake up feeling reenergized and ready to conquer the world again.

Brain fog disrupts daily activities, as it hinders both mental and physical functionality. Often, the only recourse is to rest and wait it out.

Ongoing migraines, impaired cognition, vision problems, and chronic fatigue are just a few of the symptoms of brain fog. These are only a fraction of the overall symptoms experienced by those with living with Fibromyalgia.

As we enter the fall season of 2023, brain fog has chosen to thrive, seemingly without me. I find myself watching from the sidelines of my own life, envisioning an energetic version of myself engaged in tasks that my body and mind won't currently allow. I'm compelled to lay still, to slow down, and to reconnect with my inner self. Left with no choice, I embrace the beauty of Mother Nature as she graces my balcony window with rain, sharing her soul's desires through thunder.

Her Soul Departed Before The Passage of Time

2023-10-12T17:46:00.011+01:00

She adorned this world with her angelic beauty and chose to depart before the passage of time could mar her grace. Her presence, beauty, and extraordinary spiritual radiance were ethereal, transcending her earthly years. Her voice possessed a gentle, melodic quality that effortlessly captured attention without the need for raised tones.

Although she spoke softly, every word she uttered demanded your full attention. Her infectious laughter and playful demeanor had the magical ability to melt hearts and spread happiness.

Her soul depart this earth prematurely, as if it were an integral part of her calling and destiny. During her time, she wholeheartedly dedicated herself, using her golden heart and unyielding desire to assist those in need.

She had so much to offer this world, yet she departed before the world truly discovered the immense depth of her heart. Her presence carried a lesson for us, through we didn't we didn't grasp it immediately; we learned it in the most unexpected, gut-wrenching, and heartbreaking way.

She lived with a heavy diseased heart, an invisible chronic illness that eluded our awareness at the time, slowly eroding her essence. She departed prematurely because her heart was too magnificent to be confined to this world.

She lived every moment through her unwavering faith, believing in something greater beyond herself.

Even in the final moments, her presence gave no hint of fear. Her only hesitation lay in closing her eyes, knowing that she might not awaken again.

She departed this world before her time, understanding that her vision and mission was fulfilled.

Her departure left me with a profound lesson, one I couldn't immediately acknowledge or come to terms with. How does one embrace the painful reality of death as lesson?

She left me a crucial teaching, which was to recognize that Cardiomyopathy is an invisible chronic illness that can reside within a loved one's heart without detection. It is a chronic heart condition and unseen severe ailment that can abruptly and unexpectedly claim a loved one's soul.

On your 27th day of your birth, may your beautiful and spiritual soul continue resting in eternal, Mon Petit Ange Lo Lo. Love you a lifetime plus infinity.

Dedicated to my baby sister Lorraine Matenda, October 12, 2023

George Floyd: I Have Seen The Confederate Flags & K.K.K Crosses

2021-01-27T18:19:00.006+00:00

Why Am I Greatly Affected By The Killing of George Floyd?

Photo Credit: The Guardian Nigeria

This blog post serves as an outlet for the intense emotions stirred by witnessing the killing of George Floyd by a racist police man, through the lens of the camera. The shock, numbness, stomachache, and heartache I experienced were overwhelming. As I navigated the stages of grief, tears flowed to release the tension and emotions surrounding this tragic event. I wept not only for George Floyd and his loved ones, but for the collective sense of vulnerability we all share as he could have easily been any one of us.

It's crucial to understand that this isn't the first time I've grappled with such emotions. However, the difference now lies in the proximity – seeing someone fighting for their last breath right before our eyes. Over the years, countless murders of individuals with the same skin color as mine have desensitized me to the ongoing brutality within a deeply rooted, systematic racist U.S. government. Unfortunately, like many, I've grown desensitized to the relentless civilian killings, overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness against a system beyond our control.

For many years, I have witnessed through the camera lens and heard of numerous murders of people who have the same skin color as mine. Too many countless murders and innocent killings have occurred. Growing up in the U.S., news of police shootings, inner-city violence, and racial crimes had become the norm. Yet, witnessing the Confederate flags and KKK crosses firsthand during my upbringing underscored the deeply ingrained culture of hatred and discrimination perpetuated by historical governmental systems.

I have inadvertently been aggrieved and emotionally traumatized too many times to remember through listening to the Radio, T.V. and Social Media (as the latest norm). Through hearing directly from friends who have grown up in deprived areas where gun and gang crime was rampant.

Such broken systems empower some individuals, even civil servants, to act as judge, jury, and executioner, as evidenced by George Floyd's tragic death. White supremacists, waving Confederate flags and proudly declaring K.K.K affiliations, perpetuate a toxic mindset that enables heinous acts in broad daylight.

I have seen Confederate Flags and K.K.K. Crosses

It is important for me to let you know that I have seen Confederate Flag and KKK Crosses as part of my upbringing in the U.S. There were towns which we clearly could not go to or travel through, without being apprehensive of potential harm being caused to us. I believe these symbols and objects all interlink with humankind to part what is broken in the America System including government, financial, health, economy and political systems. It is some of the inherited extreme culture immoral values and irrational radical beliefs behind historical governmental systems and symbolic objects, which are the main issues that have been weaponized to create divisions. Especially, extreme cultural and ingrained hatred of otherness, which have been used to create racial hatred and discrimination.

Ancient Governmental systems created on the premise of divisions intended to oppress, deprive, exclude other people due to the color of their skin, which continue to play out in modern times. These types of systematic divisions have filtered from governmental systems into local communities whereby others especially people of color have been deprived of the same equal services in their communities. Black communities which have been made to feel less than and disadvantaged as government systems have not equally funded them as their counterpart affluent communities to equally contribute in improving black communities.

There is a long history of a governmental systems which facilitated and supported wealth for most White American People.

"From at least the Land Act of 1785, Congress sought to transfer wealth to citizens on terms that were quite favorable. In some instances, land could be attained by the luck of the draw — but only if you were a white man." - Market Watch

It is these types of systems which have inheritably made most white people feel this sense of entitlement to land ownership, a sense of belong to a land which was not originally theirs and to feel better than other who have a different skin than theirs.

It is these types of systems, which have made white people feel more entitled to ask people who are of a different skin color than theirs, where they are originally from or why they are in "their white neighborhoods."

It is these types of broken systems, which have empowered some vicious white people who are paid civil servants to act as though they are the law, including judge and jury. Which has given them the sense of entitlement to kill and torture another human being without a blink of an eye in broad daylight and in front of a camera lens.

It is these of inhumane systems which have empowered white supremist to believe that they are better than what is different. Enticed them to wave confederate flags, to proudly proclaim themselves K.K.K. and patriots of a land which was not theirs to begin with.

These systems, rooted in division, have infiltrated modern society, perpetuating racial disparities in local communities. The long-standing governmental policies have favored white Americans, fostering a sense of entitlement and superiority. This entitlement has seeped into everyday interactions, prompting questions like, "Where are you really from?" in predominantly white neighborhoods.

These are some of the main reasons you were sadly and blatantly killed in broad daylight for all of us to see.

George Floyd, your tragic demise serves as a start reminder of the evils that persist in humanity. I hope your death becomes a catalyst for justice and change, a global reminder that oppression and violence are unacceptable. A reminder that no one is entitled to oppress, deprive, kill another human, and walk away freely without any legal criminal convictions.

May your soul continue resting powerfully in eternal peace
George Floyd

Photo Credit: Guardian Newspaper

In Loving Memory of You – Mon Petit Ange (Lorraine Matenda) | Transcending Grief & Loss

2021-01-27T16:11:00.010+00:00

Topic Inspired in Loving Memory of My Mon Petit Ange & Late Sister Lorraine

Today began as a beautiful celebration in memory of you, Mon Petit Ange. Despite the joyous start, the day concluded with the familiar deep sadness that accompanies the annual countdown to your birth and death every October and December. It’s as if my mind and body, on autopilot, transport me to relive those days and month we spent together, including the hospital moments leading to your final resting place beneath the earth.

With each passing year, the heartache becomes more manageable, though I held onto the pain as a lingering connection to you. Yet, even as time lessens the intensity, it doesn't erase the repetitive emotional spells of missing and thinking about you or the acute pain of your premature departure. I believed the fading pain in my heart symbolized my mind letting go of our soulful magnetic synergy and connection. The memories, like a recurring movie, vividly play, transporting me to yesterday, where we are the main characters.

Flashing memories take me to the corridors of the hospital, with a primary nurse tearfully saying the final goodbye. I relive the excruciating pain, realizing this was not an ordinary day. The vivid recollection of choosing coffins, seeing you laid in the morgue, and rushing to buy your final burial dress adds to the tapestry of memories. There are moments of breakfast at a lodge, the surreal sight of tubes and machines keeping you alive, and the never-ending days and nights spent by your hospital bed. At this precise moment, a vivid memory emerges of one of the primary nurses who cared for you. She rushes down the corridor, calling out my name in tears, to bid the final goodbye, embracing me tightly, expressing how deeply sorry she was.

Followed by the memory of excruciating physical and emotional pain, which struck suddenly as I realized I was leaving you behind. The pain immobilized me, urging me to cling to the floor or the wall, desperate not to part from you. It was a painful acknowledgment that this wasn't an ordinary day, where we took our regular hospital visit break and returned to see you again.

These are flashing memories of moments when I wasn't physically present, lost in a trance. Vivid recollections of choosing coffins for you in the funeral parlor, a surreal experience that felt both routine and otherworldly. The sharp memory of being summoned to the back room by the Funeral Director to see you. Walking in, I saw you laid bare in the freezing cold on a metal bed. A vivid flash of the lady in the morgue asking how you wanted your hair styled. The moment we hurried to buy your final burial dress before flying back to our ancestral home. There was also a moment, lost in a trance, unaware you were flying with us, enclosed in a coffin beneath us, as we sat comfortably in our plane seats.

These numerous flashbacks include short-lived moments, like the time we spent at the lodge before heading to the hospital. A once-in-a-lifetime moment when we had breakfast together. Life changed the night before you entered the hospital, never to come out again. Vivid memories of you appearing to force yourself to stay awake, driven by the fear of never waking again. Surreal moments when you collapsed just a few doors away from us, only to see you laid on an emergency bed and rushed off by the hospital staff.

Then there are the memories of walking into the Intensive Care Unit for the very first time in my life, witnessing all those tubes and machines plugged into you, working tirelessly to keep you alive. These tubes and machines became familiar, a source of comfort, reassuring me that they were sustaining your life. Countless days and nights were spent sitting next to you in your hospital bed or in the hospital break room, in between meetings with doctors and the hospital management team.

These are just a fraction of the many memories that cross my mind. They are memories that will forever be a part of us—of you and me. These memories, though painful, are an integral part of us, an eternal bond that time cannot unravel. They weave a narrative that binds us together for eternity.

The pain lessens as I am frequently reminded of your relentless fight to cling to life. It was only your heart that chose to let go, not you giving up. You never surrendered in the battle; instead, you responded to your higher calling from your heavenly father to depart from your physical form and this earthly existence.

Your radiant spirit is eternally imprinted in my heart and soul. Today, I fondly recall you with a glimmer of sunshine and warmth in my heart. The seagulls outside my window seem to dance in celebration of your existence and spiritual essence.

As I sip my coffee, a partial smile graces my face, even though my heart holds a touch of melancholy as it reflects on what once was, on who you once were. I'm reminded of your deep love for life, which is precisely why I now cherish each moment and find internal happiness, knowing how much you valued life and bravely fought to cling to it.

All I see right now is your beautiful smile radiating through me, compelling me to let go of the melancholy within my heart.

All I hear is your infectious laughter, hitting my chest and penetrating through my heart, forcing me to laugh a little without feeling guilty.

All I feel is you cheering me on with your beautiful smile, encouraging me to let go, be free, and express everything I am feeling.

As I sit here, memories of you continue to flash right in front of my eyes. Memories of you borrowing my nail polish, trying on my lip balm, creeping into my bedroom in the middle of the night to sleep next to me, and our late-night chats about everything and nothing at all. Memories of talking to you while you were in boarding school and so much more.

I'm also reminded of the sad memories of us in a foreign land, of you fighting through the toughest battle of your life. Short-lived memories of comforting you until you felt at ease to fall asleep, of you trying to be strong externally while facing the toughest challenge. You taught me a courageous lesson about letting go of anger toward a racist doctor who could have treated you better. This is what made you so angelic—you believed in forgiveness and kindness even toward those who did not treat you the same way.

I treasure the joyous and sad memories we shared, memories that will remain etched in my heart for eternity. As I sit here a few years later, I reflect on our shared memories without you being here physically. Our lifetime together feels like a surrealist painting, a dream, and sometimes a nightmare due to the torment you endured before leaving this earth.

I feel blessed and honored to have been your older sister during our lifetime. Our souls will forever be bonded for eternity, plus infinity. You were and will always be one in a million, a beautiful golden treasure to me—Mon Petit Ange.

You had such a pure, loving, caring, and compassionate heart. You showed us light when there was darkness, and you brought together and united thousands of people from all walks of life across the globe. They saw how pure and giving your heart was, and they fought with you and in your name. We will forever be indebted to the beautiful souls who showed up and supported you.

You had so much to give to people in need and would have given so much more.

You had so much more to conquer in this world and in this lifetime.

These were all my dreams for you and a future that was never meant to be. In your heart of hearts, you knew when it was time to go. You departed quietly in solitude when your mission on earth was complete.

You never gave up and fought with all your strength and might. Although a deadly heart disease afflicted your heart, you never gave up. Your heart aged before its time, and you left way too soon. My heart, though pained, felt at ease knowing you were no longer suffering. It was your time to depart this earth in your physical eternity.

Today, I sit here deeply grateful for the life gifts you left with me. The gift to let go soulfully, to stand still, and release another loved soul. To sit still in solitude and say the words, "If it's your time to go, it's your time to go. It's okay for you to let go and be at peace."

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to connect with you deeply on a spiritual level before your entity left this earth. Even during months of silence when your physical entity was not fully conscious, thank you for allowing me to go deep within myself, reconnect with life's true meaning, rediscover myself, and understand my true purpose in this lifetime.

Thank you for gifting me with the value of life and how not to take it for granted.

Thank you for showing us the toughest life lesson in the disease known as Cardiomyopathy. I hope today you are celebrating a rebirth birthday with your heavenly father, the father you were devoted to and prayed to often.

May your soul resting in eternal peace, Mon Petit Ange – Lorraine Matenda (January 26^th 2015).

Images Credit Arts Connect International

#cardiomyopathy #lorrainematenda #grief #loss

An Evil Alien Invader Left The White House| Reflecting on Women's 21st January 2017 | Inauguration 2021

2021-01-21T15:56:00.012+00:00

It all began on January 21, 2017 when we participated in “The Women’s March,” in downtown Washington D.C. The march was a response to the numerous anti-women and offensive statements made by the evil mad alien who, as of today (January 20, 2020), has left our city.

Our collective demonstration unfolded the day after this evil man's inauguration on January 20, 2017 and continued through his first 100 days in office. At this moment, "evil mad alien intruder," seems fitting as the best way to describe and name him.

Since then, our days have been saturated with shock, horror, disbelief, emotional and physical torment. We've grappled with feelings of distress, depression, anger, resentment, grief, and anxiety, navigating each day with unpredictability and an overwhelming sense of the unknown. Whether or not we willingly subscribed to this reality, mental impacts have been inevitable, particularly for those with a connection to the U.S. Regardless of our global locations, the impacts and effects have resonated universally.

For four long years, we've carried the weight of emotional torment. Amidst our advocacy for women's rights, we've witnessed heart-wrenching losses as our sisters and brothers fell victim to violence captured by our camera lenses. We've listened to the devastating toll of millions affected, including lives lost to Covid-19, a tragedy exacerbated by the outward negligence of an alien presence once in power.

We've been forced to endure ongoing trauma as extremists with outward hatred commit criminal acts and often walk away freely or with lighter sentences. The systemic bias favoring certain skin colors in the judicial system adds another layer to the injustice we witness.

Even as we (women) dispersed into our respective cities and countries, resuming our lives, the memories lingered. We will never forget. Our voices, once loud and fervent, may have softened on a global and national scale, but we have not forgotten, nor have we chosen silence.

Thought our footsteps grew quieter, our resolve remained unwavering as we march on in our respective cities and countries. We persisted in standing up and speaking out for equality and justice for all, emphasizing that 'All Lives Won't Matter Until Black Lives Matter.'

Four years later let’s forget:

91% of Black Women voted for Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden.

57% women voted for President Biden in 2020.

42% of women still voted in favor of the outgoing administration.

Injustice in Broad Daylight: We witnessed firsthand what injustice looks like in broad daylight.

Sleepless Nights: Let's remember the nights when many of us stayed awake, anxiously wondering if our loved ones were safe.

Endless Loss and Grief: Regardless of whether the loss directly touched our families, we collectively endured needless grief and pain.

Accountability for the Future: This new administration must prove itself by demonstrating equal justice and ensure that terrorists and their leaders face consequences for criminal acts, rejecting impunity.

As this troubling figure and evil invader has now left our city (Washington D.C) let’s forget that he will continue to walk amongst us freely, seemingly untouched by the inhumane acts and crimes he has committed.

The inauguration at least signifies what justice looks like when good triumphs over evil acts. Today showcases that there is still hope for a better tomorrow, proving that goodness can prevail over malevolence.

I hope America transcends the divisions of Democrat or Republican affiliations. May everyone rediscover the path to unity and become a united nation. Let us return to caring, loving, and showing compassion and kindness towards one another, mending any fractures caused by political differences. Stand up against injustice and call it out whenever it surfaces. Together, let's build global nations founded on shared values and mutual respect.

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly." - Martin Luther King Jr

“Women are the ones that bear the greatest burden. We are also the ones who nurture societies.” -Leymah Gbowee On that note Auntie Kamala Harris (no pressure), I hope you will emerge as an active female leader and advocate for women's greater causes that unite us all. Additionally, may you serve as a nurturing forces as we embark on the healing process.

For now, I am still waiting to fully exhale, unable to breathe until justice is rightfully served and fully realized.

For now, I want to extend heartfelt congratulations to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. I sincerely hope your path going forward is not too fraught with struggle, considering the immense turmoil you have inherited.

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge you as a reader or watcher. I value your humane acts - your kindness, empathy, understanding, and care for other human beings. Regardless of your political affiliation, globally, I only care and focus on the compassion and care you you show for others. This includes the love you extend to your country and all its citizens, whilst embracing diversity in background, race, gender, religion and culture.

At the end of the day, we all bleed the same color. We come into this world alone and we die alone. We go in the similar fashion with no exceptions to the rule.

Love and kindness over hatred is the only answer.

My name is Chiko Matenda, I am a Creative Entrepreneur (Content Creator) and a Fibro Warrior. I am also an existentialist at the core. Everything, I write about is primarily based on my personal perspective and outlook on the world. I grew up in Washington D.C., East Coast, United States. No matter where I am in the world, the U.S. will always be home.

Learn more more about me here

Connect with me via Instagram, Tiktok and Facebook

Can Adversity Be A Gift? Unveiling Life's Challenges

2020-08-17T23:34:00.014+01:00

How can adversity be considered a gift when it's brings emotional turbulence and disrupts our daily lives? How can one be grateful for something that seems like a cruel and unfair twist of fate?

It's challenging to accept adversity as a gift, especially when you're in the midst of emotional pain and heartache. As an outsider, it might be easier to offer words of wisdom like "be strong," and expect a quick return to "reality." However, I won't downplay the difficulty, as I deeply empathize with the profound impact of life adversities.

Dealing with life's challenging adversities isn't a quick fix. It's a process that takes time and involves growing through painful and stressful experiences. While some may appear to have overcome on the surface, behind closed doors, the reality may be different. Ultimately, facing adversity means dealing with ourselves and confronting internal struggles.

There's no instant healing button for life's challenges. We must navigate through the rawness of existential crisis such as emotions, pain, and anguish that adversity brings. It's a journey that exposes vulnerability, testing us in our weakest moments and catching us off guard when we least expect. Adversity challenges us precisely when we're unprepared pushing us to confront and grow through our most vulnerable moments.

Lessons Learnt from Adversity:

Experiencing or being affected by adversity is undoubtedly challenging, taking a toll on our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In the midst of adversity, its often hard to envision an escape or an end to the struggle.

The emotional journey through adversity can be draining, leaving a person emotionally exhausted. Feelings of loss of hope, anger, and fear, among others, may overwhelm, making it seems like life is an unrelenting assault. This feeling is especially poignant when life takes an unexpected turn just when things seemed to be going well well.

Navigating Adversity:

Emotional Exhaustion: Adversity can lead to a profound sense of emotional exhaustion, where every challenge feels like an additional burden.
Loss of Hope: The prolonged nature of adversity can erode hope, making it challenging to see a way out of difficult circumstances.
Anger and Fear: The emotional impact includes heightened feelings of anger and fear, adding to the complexity of the adversity experience.
Feeling Singled out: Adversity may create a sense of isolation, as if you're being unfairly singled out by life's challenges.
Unfairness of Life: Sudden disruptions can evoke a deep sense of unfairness, especially when it feels like life was finally on the right track.

The Path Forward:

Resilience Building: While adversity is touch, navigating through it can build resilience, imparting strength to face future challenges.
Perspective Shift: Overcoming adversity often involves a shift in perspective, allowing you to find meaning and growth in the face of difficulties.
Community Support: Seek support from friends, family, or a community to share the emotional burden and find strength in collective understanding.
Acknowledging Emotions: Recognize and acknowledge the range of emotions stirred by adversity, create a foundation a foundation for healing.

In the midst of adversity, the journey may seem arduous, but acknowledging the emotional landscape and seeking support can pave the way for growth and resilience.

Where There is a Mindset, Will Power, There is Always a Way?

1. Inevitability of Adversity:

Adversity is an inherent part of life, a universal experience that manifests in diverse forms and intensities for everyone. During our lifetime, we will all experience adversity in different forms, shapes and levels of experience.

2. Power Amid Powerlessness:

Despite the overwhelming nature of adversity, resist letting it dominate your mindset. Even in moments of apparent defeat, recognize your inherent courage and the enduring willpower that will guide you through.

3. Acceptance of Life Challenges:

The journey of overcoming adversity begins with accepting the realities of life. Acknowledge that challenges are an integral aspect of the human experience.

4. Learning from Adversity:

When adversity strikes, embrace it as an opportunity for growth. With time, reflect on the lessons embedded in the challenges you face, understanding that each trial carries valuable insights.

5. Victory Through Mindset and Will Power:

The key to triumph over adversity lies in maintaining control over your mindset and willpower. Your mental fortitude empowers you to persevere physically, allowing you to emerge victorious against all odds.

In navigating the complex terrain of adversity, your mindset and willpower become indispensable tools, guiding you towards resilience, growth, and ultimate triumph.

"Looking back, adversity always leaves footprints."

In times of adversity, take heed of those who navigate the landscape of your challenges:

Family and Friends: Value those who stand by you through life's storms and sunshine. True companions are the ones who weather adversity with you, offering unwavering support.
Selective Presence: Be mindful of those who seem to vanish when adversity strikes, especially those who only appear in moments of joy. True connections extend beyond happiness and encompass shared burdens.
Unexpected Guides: Acknowledge the silent or vocal individuals who emerge during your darkest hours. Whether known or unknown, these guides play a pivotal role in helping you overcome challenges and move forward when you least anticipate their presence.

As you reflect on the footprints left by adversity, discerning these roles will deepen your understanding of relationships, resilience, and the intricate dynamics of life's journey.

Lessons Learned: Pay Close Attention to the Footprints of Adversity

Facing adversity is a demanding and emotionally draining aspect of life, but it carries invaluable lessons. Acknowledge the following insights from my personal journey:

Real Pain is Valid: Acknowledge and validate your pain during adversity; it's an authentic experience. Don't negate the emotional toll, and allow yourself the necessary time for healing.

Mental Resilience Through Self-Development: Develop mental resilience through self-development to navigate adversity. Your ability to move forward stems from nurturing inner strength, allowing progress one day at a time.

Mindset Over Adversity: Recognize your wisdom and courage surpass the challenges you face. Even when circumstances seem beyond control, will your mindset to triumph over adversity. Refuse to let it win.

Personal Journey Through Adversity:

Childhood Comfort from a Stranger: Amid chaos as a child, a stranger appeared with an aura of light and courage. Their comforting presence during a tumultuous school event left a lasting impact.

Monk's Unspoken Comfort: Exhausted emotionally, a chance encounter with a monk at a gas station in South Africa provided unexpected solace. His presence eased internal pain and offered a moment of respite.

Solace in the Quran: Seeking solace in a hospital prayer room, I found peace in the Quran. Despite not being religious, the words provided a sense of calmness during challenging times.

Yoga and Meditation for Calmness: Amid adversity, activities like yoga and meditation became crucial for calming internal turmoil. They anchored me in the present, especially during my sister's medical struggles.

Fibromyalgia's Wake-Up Call: The diagnosis of Fibromyalgia brought mortality into focus, prompting a determined fight against mental and physical anguish. It reframed life's meaning and resilience.

Combatting Coronavirus Adversity: Overcoming coronavirus challenges involved mental resilience. Running on the spot became a symbolic act of fighting back, refusing to let adversity dictate the outcome.

People in Adversity:

Compassionate Strangers and Loved Ones: People, both strangers and loved ones, showed compassion, empathy, and understanding during times of adversity.

Lessons from Dark Auras: Adversity also tested me through encounters with individuals lacking care and empathy. These experiences clarified my boundaries and standards for tolerable behavior.

Conclusion: Adversity's Footprints: Adversity manifests in various forms, introducing different levels of pain. Reflecting on my journey, I've learned that people and circumstances often appear during dark hours to ease our path forward. Life's challenges persist, but the choice lies in letting adversity consume or mentally fighting back. The journey involves learning, growing, and maintaining the resilience to actively seek solutions.

USEFUL EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES:

The School of Life - Resilience Cards - Find Confidence in The Face of Adversity by the School of Life.
The Inside Track: An Inspirational Guide to Conquering Adversity
Audible Audiobook – Unabridged by Peter Sage

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BLACK LIVES MATTER - What has protesting accomplished?

2020-06-14T13:34:00.001+01:00

Image by Alexandra_Koch from Pixabay

Within the first few weeks of sustained protests the following has been accomplished so far:

Minneapolis bans use of chokeholds.

Charges are upgraded against Officer Chauvin, and his accomplices are arrested and charged.

Dallas adopts a "duty to intervene" rule that requires officers to stop other cops who are engaging in inappropriate use of force. A temporary Black Lives Matter was painted outside Dallas City Hall.

New Jersey’s attorney general said the state will update its use-of-force guidelines for the first time in two decades.

Maryland, a bipartisan workgroup of state lawmakers announced a police reform workgroup.

California bans private prisons and immigration detention centers. It moved to end the use of private, for-profit lockups in America’s largest state prison system as well as in federal immigration detention centers in the state under a measure signed into law by Governor Gavin Newsom.

Los Angeles City Council introduces motion to reduce LAPD’s $1.8 billion operating budget. 

MBTA in Boston agrees to stop using public buses to transport police officers to protests.

Police Brutality captured on cameras leads to near-immediate suspensions and firings of officers in several cities (i.e., Buffalo, Ft. Lauderdale).

Monuments celebrating confederates are removed in cities in Virginia, Alabama, Florida and other states.
"The University of Alabama announced it would remove three plaques dedicated to Confederate soldiers who attended the school. The plaques will be placed in an "a more appropriate historical," setting, according to the school.
The Confederate monument in Hemming Park in Jacksonville, Florida, was removed.  Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry announced all Confederate memorials in the city would be removed
Other confirmed Confederate monuments which would be removed were from sites in Indianapolis, Richmond and Alexandria, Virginia, and Birmingham, Alabama." - ABC News 

Street in front of the White House is renamed "Black Lives Matter Plaza.” "by the Mayor Muriel Bowser on June 5, 2020, after the Department of Public Works painted the words "Black Lives Matter" in 35-foot (11 m) yellow capital letters, along with the flag of Washington, D.C., as part of the George Floyd protests. Black Lives Matter DC activists, on the evening of June 6, 2020, removed the three stars from the D.C. flag and added "Defund the Police" in capital letters to the end of the mural." - Wikipedia 

Military forces begin to withdraw from D.C.- "Mayor Muriel Bowser asked that Trump withdraw "all extraordinary federal law enforcement and military presence" from D.C. On Sunday, Trump ordered the National Guard troops to begin withdrawing from the city." - Yahoo News

 Juneteenth Declared a State Holiday in Pennsylvania by Gov. Tom Wolf. "A National Freedom Day to commemorate the ending of slavery in the United States.To also recognise the importance of continuing to build a nation that truly reflects the self-evident truth that all people are created equal.” Then, there's all the other stuff that's hard to measure:
The really difficult public and private conversations that are happening about race and privilege.
The realizations some white people are coming to about racism and the role of policing in the U.S. and Globally.
The self-reflection and personal growth that a lot of people are going through.
The internal battles exploding within organizations over issues that have been simmering or ignored for a long time. Some organizations will end as a result, others will be forever changed, or replaced with something stronger and fairer.

 The changes and further consideration/review Business Owners, TV Companies, Sports Institutions, Brands are making to support Black Lives Matter Cause. Including the removal historical racist and slavery TV shows. 


Image by UnratedStudio from Pixabay 

Globally:

 Protests against racial inequality sparked by the police killing of George Floyd are taking place all over the world.

 Rallies and memorials have been held in cities across Europe, as well as in Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, South Africa.

 As the US contends with its second week of protests, issues of racism, police brutality, and oppression have been brought to light across the globe.

 People all over the world understand that their own fights for human rights, for equality and fairness, will become so much more difficult to win if we are going to lose America as the place where 'I have a dream' is a real and universal political program," Wolfgang Ischinger, a former German ambassador to the US, told the New Yorker.

 In France, protesters marched holding signs that said "I can't Breathe" to signify both the words of Floyd, and the last words of Adama Traoré, a 24-year-old black man who was subdued by police officers and gasped the sentence before he died outside Paris in 2016. French Police have now banned choke holds. 

 Cities across Europe have come together after the death of George Floyd:

  England and Wales Labour Councils plan to review Historical Statues of Slave Owners. This following a group of people involved in the protests in Bristol removed a Edward Colston who was a Slave Trader. Consequently a statue of Robert Milligan   in London was taken down by The Canal River Trust. People have protested in most cities in U.K. in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement. 

Amsterdam, an estimated 10,000 people filled the Dam Square on Monday, holding signs and shouting popular chants like "Black lives matter," and "No justice, No Peace." "The black community in the Bijlmer has been a victim of oppression for decades. Racism and police violence have been the subject of frequent attention in the Bijlmer since the 1990s," organizers said in a statement. 

 Germany, people gathered in multiple locations throughout Berlin to demand justice for Floyd and fight against police brutality. A mural dedicated to George Floyd was also spray-painted on a stretch of wall in Berlin that once divided the German capital during the Cold War.

 Ireland, protesters held a peaceful demonstration outside of Belfast City Hall, and others gathered outside of the US embassy in Dublin.

Italy, protesters gathered and marched with signs that said "Stop killing black people," "Say his name," and "We will not be silent."

 Spain, people gathered to march and hold up signs throughout Barcelona and Madrid.

 Athens, Greece, protesters took to the streets to collectively hold up a sign that read "I can't breathe."

 Brussels, protesters were seen sitting in a peaceful demonstration in front of an opera house in the center of the city.

Denmark, protesters were heard chanting "No justice, no peace!" throughout the streets of Copenhagen, while others gathered outside the US embassy.

 Canada, protesters were also grieving for Regis Korchinski-Paquet, a 29-year-old black woman who died on Wednesday after falling from her balcony during a police investigation at her building.

 Australia tens of thousands of people marched through cities and towns for Black Lives Matter protests, to oppose the 432 deaths of Indigenous people in police custody since the 1990’s, and the fact that not one of those deaths has seen any justice, With zero convictions of any police or corrections officers ￼involved in these deaths.￼

New Zealand, roughly 2,000 people marched to the US embassy in Auckland, chanting and carrying signs demanding justice.

 Memorials have been built for Floyd around the world, too. In Mexico City, portraits of him were hung outside the US embassy with roses, candles, and signs.

 Balkans and in Central Europe - "Activists in Zagreb, Belgrade, Podgorica, Warsaw and Sofia rallied to show solidarity but also to point out the problem of racism and police violence in their own countries." Poland, candles and flowers were laid out next to photos of Floyd outside the US consulate.

 Syria, two artists created a mural depicting Floyd in the northwestern town of Binnish, "on a wall destroyed by military planes. The mural reads “I Can’t Breathe” and “No to Racism”. " 

 Palestine  full-blown Palestinians for Black Lives movement is taking shape.

 Tunisia - "Anti-Racist organization Mnemty, spearheaded by Tunisian Anti-Racism activist Saadia Mosbah, organized a protest in support of the Black Lives Matter movement. According to the organizers, the protest is a stance in solidarity with #BLM and against anti-black racism in Tunisia."

Before the murder of George Floyd some of you were able to say whatever the hell you wanted and the world didn't say anything to you...

THERE HAS BEEN A SHIFT, AN AWAKENING...MANY OF YOU ARE BEING EXPOSED FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE. #readthatagain

Don't wake up tomorrow on the wrong side of this issue. 



It's not too late to SAY -
Maybe I need to look at this from a different perspective.
Maybe I don't know what it's like to be Black in America, or Australia, or anywhere...
Maybe, just maybe, I have been taught wrong."
There is still so much work to be done. It's been a really dark, raw week. This could still end badly. But all we can do is keep doing the work.

Keep Protesting (Peacefully)

WE ARE NOT TRYING TO START A RACE WAR; WE ARE PROTESTING TO END IT, PEACEFULLY.

How beautiful is that?

All lives cannot matter until you include Black Lives 

You can't say 'All Lives Matter,' when you do nothing to stop systemic racism and police brutality. 

You cannot say 'All Lives Matter,' when Black People are dying and all you complain about is the lootin. Or complain about the protestors partaking in marches due to the fear of potential spread of Coronavirus.

You cannot say 'All Lives Matter,' when you allow children to be caged, veterans to go homeless, and poor families to go hungry and to lose their Health Insurance (US). 

You cannot say 'All Lives Matter,' when Black Communities neighbourhoods have been defunded from essential community services. When you complain about defunding the police without seeing that it is necessary for low income communities. When you refuse to see the humanity necessity to equally re-align society's funding priorities. This in the long could help reduce crime, improve social, education, health, economic and financial welfare for most black people living in deprived areas. 

DO ALL LIVES MATTER? YES.

 BUT RIGHT NOW, ONLY BLACK LIVES ARE BEING TARGETED, JAILED, AND KILLED EN MASSE- SO THAT'S WHO WE'RE FOCUSING ON.

BLACK LIVES MATTER

IF YOU CAN'T SEE THIS, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

Original Source of Content from Facebook (Writer Unknown): 
Originated from the US, but has been added to. If you have something to add, please do), Copy and Paste and Create Your Own Post. Some parts of the content have also been amended by me with the latest updates. 

RESOURCES: 
1. Learn More About Black Lives Matter movement and cause the following link- https://blacklivesmatter.com/global-actions/

2. Institutional racism Definition (also known as systemic racism): is a form of racism expressed in the practice of social and political institutions. It is reflected in disparities regarding wealth, income, criminal justice, employment, housing, health care, political power and education, among other factors. - Wikipedia 

3. "Powerful Photos of Black Lives Matter Protests Around The World."

4. Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man 

(Pic Courtesy: Erin Jones/CBS 11 News): The art, approved by Dallas city, was created

by dozens of volunteers overnight and has already created quite an impact.

I CAN'T BREATHE & I AM IN THE U.K. -(REST IN POWER GEORGE FLOYD)

2020-05-28T14:11:00.044+01:00

I simply can't breathe

My stomach is aching

My gut is wrenching

My nerves are shuttered

I can't breathe

My throat is sore

Rest in Power George Floyd

I am emotionally disturbed and deeply saddened

I can't concentrate

I can't breathe

I am in the U.K. and I simply can't breathe

I do not need to be in the U.S., in order to feel this deeply wounding and gut wrenching painful emotion

I have woken up feeling as though my soul has been ripped out, intentionally stamped on repeatedly without any empathy, compassion, or care in the world.

I can't breathe

I am deeply pained, saddened and in shock

I can't breathe

I am a witness to a murder through the lense of a camera

I can't breathe

The world has seen the killing of George Floyd and many more others like him, like me, like us (black people)

I can't breathe, I am deeply pained

I can't breathe, because George was killed senselessly with outward arrogance, ignorance and with an aggressive criminal act by police officers. The other police bystanders are just as guilty for allowing this to happen.

I can't breathe because, I saw a human being first of all being restricted of his basic human rights, which was the deprivation of liberty to be able to simply breathe.

I can't breathe my stomach hurts, my heart bleeds

I saw a man who has the same skin colour as mine being treated inhumanely

He was killed because of his skin colour and for having a darker skin pigment

I can't breathe because, I mourn deeply for all the lives that have been lost senselessly

I don't have to be in the U.S., in order to feel this deep emotional and soul destroying pain

Everytime, I see similar acts of purposeful cruel, inhumane and mindless acts, I weap and grieve with everyone affected.

I grieve because my ancestors would be in shock that these intentional illegal acts of mass murder and modern day slavery continue to still go on today.

I grieve because everytime, I see and we (the world) sees; there is yet another physiologically disturbing illegal act that is allowed to continue to happen to black people.

I can't breathe, because I am traumatised and emotionally pained by what I have seen and can't unseen.

I am furious, I am angry, I am upset, I am in shock,

I am psychologically disturbed

I used to think it was a privilege for me to be born in the U.K., to be a Black African first of all and to have lived in the U.S. and yet not be directly affected by the history that most Black African Americans' had to go through and still go through today in the U.S.

I should not have to feel grateful for being born in a different country.

It should not be a privilege for others with a lighter skin pigmentation to have this false sense of superior entitlement and to be able to continue to get away with it.

I grieve and mourn for George Floyd, his family, his friends,

his community and everyone greatly affected

I grieve and mourn for all the souls that have passed unjustly before their time due to intentional acts of violence, torture, cruelty, acts of genocide and of enslavement due to their skin colour.

I can't breathe and I am in the U.K.

I choose to no longer remain a silent witness just because I live in a different country.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality. - Desmond Tutu (Brainy Quotes)

I still can't breathe

I won't be able to breathe, because George Floyd and many more others (our family members) before him are no longer breathing.

I won't be able to breathe until these intentional illegal acts of aggressive physical contact, bodily harm, shootings and killing are stopped against people of colour (black people).

How many more times will the world need to hear another black person say "I cannot breathe" before these intentionally acts of genocide are stopped.

REST IN POWER GEORGE FLOYD

- May you receive the justice you richly deserve in this lifetime -

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Nelson Mandela
All Black Lives Matters
May Your Souls Continue Resting In Eternal Peace

Pic Source - @Tasha Black Lives Matter

#GeorgeFloyd #georgefloywasmurdered #BLACKLIVESMATTER

Coronavirus: Living with A Disabling Condition & Excluded From U.K. Government Covid-19 Measures

2020-05-22T19:51:00.002+01:00

It has now been over two months since the Government imposed U.K. Lockdown and limited Online Supermarket Shopping accessibility to only people at increased risk of severe illness from Coronavirus (COVID-19). To date, I do not believe that serious consideration has been given, or discussed in a wider context concerning people living with disabilities (regardless of health conditions). I am a long term chronic illness Fibromyalgia warrior and someone classed as living with a disability (disabling condition).

I also writing this blog post in recognition of Fibromyalgia Awareness Day and Mental Health Awareness Week which are significant days for most people, living with disabilities, whether it be physical or mental health related conditions.

Given the opportunity, I would ask the U.K. Government the following questions for further consideration and clarification;

1. Why people who fall under the protected Equality Act 2010 laws have not been considered to date as a group at risk in the UK Codvid-19 Risk Assessment Response Measures? Especially in relation to empowering and enabling disabled people to still access online supermarket shopping as basic human rights necessity. At least giving the option for this category of people to have the accessibility rights to access online shopping. Taking into consideration that most of us prior to the pandemic would have relied on this easy online access and means of shopping for necessities as part of our daily independent living.

2. When will people living with disabling conditions be included into further serious consideration and discussions of “people at potential risk category,” within the U.K. Government’s wider communication and approach to public risk reduction measures? For instance, people like me who are living with invisible disabilities and incurable long-term chronic health conditions who have to self-isolate, or take extra-precautionary measures healthwise to minimise the risk of being infected with Coronavirus.

3. Is the government aware that by excluding this group of people further, there are further financial risks and well-being pressures impacting these group of people?

Ever since the U.K. Government imposed lockdown, online shopping access and additional financial support measures, I have felt as though I should be grateful for all the special measures which have been implemented, so far in the best interest of the majority of people. Additionally, to be grateful that I still have access to alternative online shopping means, even if these new means are more expensive than before.

On the other hand, I have started to feel more disempowered and restricted in the ability to freely access online supermarket shops the longer the lockdown has gone on. Being excluded from some of the key government measures has also meant that additional financial pressures have started to occur for some of us, due to having to find alternative and more expensive means of online shopping.

These limitations and imposed restrictions feel as though my equal rights to easily access essential livelihood and basic necessities have been stripped away. Making it harder for those of us who must self-isolate, to find or rely on other means of being able to access necessities we need. Further, consideration has not been given that not everyone will easily have the capability to access new alternative ways of finding necessities especially in the absence of family, friends, and neighbours to assist.

It has also not been considered that it can be difficult for some people living with disabilities to ask for help, due to numerous factors. This is especially if you are used to have some of independence, it is not easy to been seen as being vulnerable and dependent on others. Others who might be strangers, even if they volunteer to provide a service on your behalf.

Overtime, I have increasingly become disillusioned by the U.K. Governments (England) approach in its application of risk management measures, which has excluded people like me, who are living with disabling long term chronic health conditions.

It was a reminder for me of how far U.K. Government still has to go before invisible and long term disabling chronic health illnesses such as Fibromyalgia are taken more seriously and recognized equally as disabling and incurable conditions. A disabling condition which has limited most people like me from being able to live ordinary lives and limited our capability to work in ordinary work conditions.

The current pandemic has not made things easier, only shown how equal opportunities can be easily disregarded for some protected groups. According to the U.K. Government website their social distancing measures focus on people who are who are understandably so, “at increased risk of severe illness from Coronavirus (COVID-19). I do not dispute this fact and serious measure that has been implemented. My concern is the long term well-being effects limiting access for disabled people has, especially those who have underlying health conditions as well. Even though they may not be as high risk, there can still be adverse and costly impacts our lives in the short or long term.

The groups they have included include the following groups of people;

aged 70 or older regardless of medical conditions)
under 70 with an underlying health condition listed below (ie anyone instructed to get a flu jab as an adult each year on medical grounds):chronic (long-term) mild to moderate respiratory diseases, such as asthma, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), emphysema or bronchitis
chronic heart disease, such as heart failure
chronic kidney disease
chronic liver disease, such as hepatitis
chronic neurological conditions, such as Parkinson’s disease, motor neurone disease, multiple sclerosis (MS), a learning disability or cerebral palsy diabetes
a weakened immune system as the result of conditions such as HIV and AIDS, or medicines such as steroid tablets being seriously overweight (a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or above)
those who are pregnant

Sadly, the list above does not include people with disabilities (regardless of medical conditions) and those of us who would struggle to undertake ordinary activities such as going to the supermarket due to physical impairments/limited physical ability and the adverse health impact of having to stand in queues for prolonged periods.

Additional further consideration has not been given that within this category of disabled people, some of us have underlying health conditions and compromised immune systems, which does not necessarily fit in the above U.K. Government guidance. It excludes, people who also must self-isolate to minimise potential risk of being inflicted with coronavirus or people who would ordinary be housebound most of the time due to living with disabling health conditions.

The current pandemic has restricted most of us further from exercising our equal right opportunities and easier equal accessible means to help us maintain our independent living and overall well-being. Some of us that were able to occasional obtain self-employment have also been excluded from new self-employment government grant as we do not meet the threshold, thereby being inflicted by secondary livelihood challenges.

Over a couple of weeks ago, I heard the Boris Johnson, U.K. Prime Minister mention people with chronic health conditions in the category of people at risk, who should continue to remain isolated, or take certain extra precautions. This was when he along with U.K. government decided to change the U.K. Lockdown measures, from "Stay At Home," to "Stay Alert." Although he mentioned people with chronic conditions, this was not clarified or specified at to what type of conditions he was referring to. I can only assume based on the U.K. Government category of people at risk, he was still referring to people with high risk health conditions.

What has not been considered is that most of us relied on being able to independently shop online with major supermarkets, as our means of independent living and reasonable financial livelihood.

The other factor that has been forgotten under the new "Stay Alert," policy is that most of us our lives won't change that much, even though we have been granted the right to go out as often as we can. Most of us will still continue to avoid Supermarkets and Crowded Areas for different reasons, in order to maintain our well-being safely.

The current measures are not practical for most people living with chronic and disabling conditions. Here is why;

I live with a chronic disabling musculoskeletal widespread pain condition known as Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.“Musculoskeletal pain affects the bones, muscles, ligaments, tendons, and nerves. It can be acute (having a rapid onset with severe symptoms) or chronic (long-lasting).” Aside from these musculoskeletal pains, people also experience other numerous ailments which including cognitive issues. – Mayo Clinic

What hasn’t been factored into the government new conditions is that most people who live with a chronic pain condition such as Fibromyalgia in the absence of other underlying high-risk conditions are not able to stand in one position for prolonged periods at time, such as waiting in long queues at supermarkets to buy food. Standing, or walking for prolonged periods than expected does trigger muscle stiffness and chronic pain widespread pain. For some this can lead to mental health related conditions, as result of being stressed (i.e. depression and anxiety). No one wants to voluntary live with severe chronic pain or other illnesses, especially in circumstances where it can be reduced. Anyone living with chronic pain, will tell you that prolonged periods of pain induces sadness, which can then escalate into other ailments.

This then rules out the opportunity for someone living with Fibromyalgia to be able to physically go to supermarkets. There also has to be further consideration given to the current climate, there are longer queues at most supermarkets due to the implementation of physical distancing measures. The whole process of shopping takes longer than it would was before.

Additionally, most of us who fall into the category of people with compromised immune systems and additional underlying conditions, who must self-isolate, have not been included in the priority of people needing access to online shopping necessities.

Nor have the people with disabling conditions with low risk health conditions who can physically go to the shops, been given further consideration in equal accessibility rights at supermarkets. For instance, suitable times, they can go into the supermarket, whereby they can go and shop briefly without having to aggravate, or impact their well-being adversely, as a result of having to wait with lots of people.

I am also someone as a case in example, who became inflicted with severe coronavirus symptoms, which took me seven weeks to recover from due to my compromised immune system and flare up of my underlying chronic health condition. Fortunately, I was able to recover and did not have to go into hospital. Thankfully, I was informed by Emergency Medical Service, it was safer for me to recover from home due to protect my compromised immune system. To date there is no medical or scientific confirmation, that I will not be re-infected again with coronavirus symptoms, therefore I have to continue to self-isolate. Regardless, I would not be able to access supermarkets in the current conditions we are living in.

We have been asked to reach out to neighbors and families that can help. At the same time, these measures only work short term.

Living with a chronic condition already feels disempowering and disabling. Especially when you are placed in a position where you must rely on someone else in some cases strangers in the absence of familiar assistance.

There are no mental health benefits in asking for help over a prolonged period. One can also start to feel guilty about potentially putting someone else at risk by asking them to do you a favor.

Not everyone is the position to reach out to people who can help them when they need to. Or they might be surrounded by other people who are potentially at high risk as well. Or surrounded by people who also must self-isolate.

Most of us only qualify if at all for Universal Credit only and not Personal Independence Payment (PIP), because our condition is not considered “disabling enough.” Nor do we meet the threshold for self-employment grants, due to limited capability to work on a regular and consistent basis. Or we have stopped receiving new work self-employed work opportunities.

The challenge here is over a short-term period these measures work where certain liberties and freedoms work in the best interest of the everyone. Over a prolonged period, the current U.K. Government measures will not work and will start to impact the overall well-being of most people.

Based on my own personal experience and journey so far since the lockdown, I feel more disempowered than I have felt before. I am in the group of people who have been forgotten about, left behind, and excluded by U.K. Government new measures. I do not fit in the low, or high-risk group category. I cannot afford the luxury of being able to go out without worrying about the potential high risk of being inflicted again with coronavirus system. Nor, do I fit the category of someone who is sufficiently physically able to undertake ordinary activities such as going to supermarkets and queuing up, without aggravating my chronic health condition symptoms.

To conclude, I feel as though once again in the wider U.K. Government Communications and approach certain equal liberties for people living with disabling and incurable conditions have been disregarded from equal opportunities and accessibility rights. Social and physical isolation alone is mentally challenging to adjust. When you add other liberties such as your livelihood being taken away, or limited it becomes much harder to manage well-being over a prolonged period.

I do appreciate that there are serious concerns for people who are at increased risk of being impacted by coronavirus. At the same time, I believe that further consideration and measures by the U.K. Government should have been considered for people in my category.

We are a group that still wants to continue to access our independent living rights of being able to supermarket shopping slots online.

This is also keeping in mind that most of the people who are at high risk do receive government food boxes. Therefore, there should be further consideration for some online delivery slots to be opened to those of us who have had to self-isolate and those of us with disabling conditions, who are limited from engaging in ordinary activities.

Our civil and equal liberalities were implemented for a reason in the U.K. This was to ensure that there was equal access to services to everyone. This is the reason, I have chosen to write this blog post and to no longer remain silent.

My Lessons Learnt: Experience Of Being Inflicted with Coronavirus Symptoms

2020-04-26T14:41:00.000+01:00

In this blog post, I wanted to share with you my lessons learnt following experiencing severe Coronavirus Symptoms. This is with the hopes that by raising further awareness, so that someone's else's is much easier than mine. Also, to share a story of hope and an optimistic outlook especially during this complex and challenging time. Thankfully, we starting to see and hear more stories about people who have been able to recover and overcome the battle of being afflicted with a viral infection.

Disclaimer: The information, I am sharing is based on my personal experience and for educational purposes only. Always consult your Health Professionals for medical guidance including Emergency Services (if required). Do not wait to seek medical help if you are very concerned about your health. Also always remember if choose to use any homely natural remedies to ensure you are well informed about the products before consuming them.

Background and Context:

In my previous blogpost I shared a detailed experience of what I went through as a result of experiencing severe coronavirus related symptoms. I was informed by an Emergency Services Doctor that my symptoms were similar to what 95% people had also reported to emergency services.

So far, my symptoms have consisted of the following:

Cold Symptoms, on and off chills and rising temperatures. Intolerance to cold temperatures and room temperature drinks (or anything that felt cold)

Chest pain (pressure and congestion)

Back pain (pressure, including difficulties with deep breathing)

Sore throat, dry mouth and throat

On and off headaches and lower abdomen pain

Breathlessness in the chest and upper throat

It has been an up and down roller coaster ride of challenging trials and tribulations. Including moments and day's when I felts as though I was on the road to recovery. To only be hit again with the viral infection symptoms. The most challenging times have been when during the night time and colder temperatures. This is when it appears that the viral infection is most active and aggressive.

I know understand what some people who have experienced the moderate and severe symptoms have been going through. This virus can challenge your mental and physical strength. Due to its complex and overwhelming nature.

Health wise, I am someone whose immune system is already compromised and I also have two underlying health conditions: a chronic illness known as Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue and Hypothyroidism. Initially, I was apprehensive about the potential impact of coronavirus including whether I could withstand its storms healthwise.

MY LESSON LEARNT: Knowing what I know now, this is what I would have done proactively in the beginning to potentially minimize my symptoms from progressing into something more serious:

1. Treat initial cold symptoms more aggressively like flu symptoms. Reason being is that is it easier to become susceptible to catching the flu, or the current viral infection when your immune defense mechanism is down. It did not take long for my cold symptoms to escalate into full blown pneumonia symptoms.

Initially, I assumed my cold symptoms and eventual chest infection would go away. What I didn’t expect was the additional impacts of other symptoms, such as the severity of the breathlessness. It felt as though I was dealing with, managing and treating 5-6 symptoms all at the same time.

2. Increased natural hot water drinks, with homely remedies such as lemon with fresh ginger, vinegar, black pepper, fresh turmeric to 3-4 cups or more to keep hydrated. Also, to help boost my immune system and to fight off the cold.

I usually buy the above ingredients as part of my monthly shopping list for my cooking and hot water drinking routine. Unfortunately, I had become inconsistent with my routine of drinking hot water with natural root based remedies on a regular basis, prior to being inflicted with a viral infection.

I found that drinking the above hot water remedy helped me to remain hydrated. It ease sore and dry throat symptoms.

As I was intolerant to room temperature and cold drinks the hot water remedy above helped.

3. Used Hot Water and Vicks Steaming Inhalation more regularly especially first thing in the morning and evening before temperature decreased and to minimise symptoms from escalating as a result of exposure to coldness. Other hot water inhalation mixer, I used was with hot water, vinegar, lemon, ginger, lemon. It helped to clear my nose, airways and chest pressure.

It would have been beneficial to implement a hot water steaming routine, during the initial stages of develop cold and flu symptoms. To help clear my nose, airways and lungs. Hot Steaming has become my new normal now. I have become familiar with the nature of the beast (coronavirus) and when it's likely to be trigger and potentially become aggressive. I counteract it by being proactive earlier with hot steaming to minimise escalation of symptoms to breathlessness.

My Malawian Grandma (on my maternal side) used this hot steaming remedy for us when we were younger, with root based ingredients to help us ease cold and flu symptoms. She also used to drink 8 glasses or warm water everyday, including eating root based ingredients raw, with plant based foods. She didn't eat much meat from what I recall. In her 80's she visited U.S. and was examined by a Dr. who informed her she was the healthiest person he had seen at her age. This is what has also motivated me to apply these natural measures so far, to help ease my symptoms.

This virus thrives, or becomes more active and aggressive during cold temperatures. During heightened states it becomes more aggressive by triggering off chest pain, tightness, back pain and restricts airways in the throat and lungs. It escalates very quickly before you even know what is happening.

There are some days when just regular hot steaming didn’t work. I found leaning over a boiling pan more alleviating and it seemed to provide more relief and cleared my airways. Obviously, health and safety is the highest and most essential thing to consider. I wouldn’t recommend this, but at the time I was desperate for to try anything that could ease my breathing. There are safe hot steaming products which you can purchase online via Amazon for instance.

4. Sleep sideways more, or on your stomach. As sleeping on your back restricts airways and makes it difficult to breath. I only realized this much later after I watched a video on Youtube from a Health Professional who recommended this. I have watched other videos from Health Professionals on Youtube and Co to help me learn more about natural treatments, prevention measures and how to treat pneumonia and breathlessness. Reason being is I can’t take paracetamol (react adversely to it), so I have had to be creative in how I manage and minimize my viral infection symptoms.

5. Other remedy I used:

Echinacea - a traditional herbal cold remedy which reduces the severity and duration of colds. I took drops of this helped ease sore throat and clear the airways a little bit.

What I have learnt from this viral infection is that you will end up experimenting with different treatments (including professional health input) to find out what works best. What your body is responsive to or not. As I highlighted earlier, it feels as though you are treating numerous symptoms. Also for the fact that there is no known vaccine or cure to date.

5. Keep Warm to protect your chest: Wearing layers of clothes, blankets, a cloth or scarf to protect your chest all the times helps to minimise aggravation of symptoms. Minimal exposure of the chest to the cold, even if you feel hot can exacerbate chest pain, pressure and breathlessness issues. I folded a mini blanket and placed it underneath my top to protect myself and to keep my chest warm at all times. Use vicks and any other homely remedies for your chest.

Early evenings appear to the worst and when the viral attacks are aggressive. Morning time, I would usually wake up with moderate and manageable symptoms. In the afternoon, if the temperature outside was warmer, my symptoms would ease until early evening.

This is where regular hot water steaming throughout the day (with natural remedies) helps to have at least a good night’s sleeps. During my trials and tribulations, I also came across hot water steaming products on Amazon. Unfortunately, at the time when I was searching for products they were sold out, or held on a waiting list for several weeks.

OPTIMISTIC OUTLOOK BEYOND FEAR AND DOUBT: Beyond thinking of the worst that could happen.

1. You get used to a daily routine, when you start to understand the beast and its patterns. I started to get used to daily routine of how I could minimize the potential adverse attacks of this beast. I wanted to fight and to not be vulnerable or feel defenseless to it. Since I didn’t know how much or how far it could push me. I didn’t know physically what I could be withstand, as feeling breathless and attacked can leave you feeling helpless.

For instance, I used to get early initial warning signs of the chest starting to tighten up or a sharp shooting pain, this is when you don’t want to wait until symptoms become aggressive to breathlessness. Use hot steaming regularly until symptoms clear. Until you feel like your body is starting to relax. Implementing this method, alleviated my symptoms.

Medical Guidance and Advice: You also want to ensure at each stage that you are in regular contact with Medical Professionals and do not leave anything to last minute. Also do keep in mind that Hot Steaming Remedies may not work for everyone, it's best to find out from your medical health care professional if it is okay to apply this method; especially if you have a complex medical health condition.

2. Somedays you feel like you have recovered which may not be accurate. Continue with homely remedies, which you feel are helping to include any medical guidance you have received from your Health Practitioner. For some people with minor symptoms it takes between 7-10 days to start feeling better. Unfortunately, as I was inflicted with pneumonia it is taking much longer for my symptoms to clear. Fortunately, I have not been coughing repetitively or had consistent high temperatures.

4. Avoid stress, listen to motivational and inspirational information to help you to remain calm. As this virus does test your mental and physical ability. In the moment of experiencing the attacks you feel powerless.

5. Mentally when you have the ability Healthwise to manage independently, you start to realize that the attacks will soon pass, and you have the willpower to fight every day. Do not get me wrong, in the moments you still feel like it's never going to end, but it does, and you come through it. Do not let is escalate to the point where you feel very powerless, do everything you can minimize it was escalating. This includes contacting your Health Professional services if you are concerned for further guidance.

6. Regular daily deep breathing exercises helps lung function. I medicate, do Yoga on alternative days. I also do deep breathing through the hot steam routines just to ensure that body feel relaxed.

7. Exercise regularly, helps with lungs and improve in breathing. I found exercise helped to also keep me mentally positive and to see as though I could fight though the toughest challenges.

8. Drink and eat healthy food and drinks especially warmer or hot foods/drinks during the time you are feeling unwell.

I am continuing to fight through with remaining symptoms, I still have good and bad days. I am in my 4^th week and part of me felt as though I had fully recovered. Unfortunately, that has not been the case as soon as the temperatures decreased, I was back again to having a sore throat, chest pain, pressure and milder symptoms of breathlessness. I am holding to an optimistic outlook that the worse it potentially over and will continue to fight through until I am fully well again.

Tomorrow is not promised. I can only focus on doing the ultimate best of what I can do today. I hope you are too and continuing to remain safe.

The best advice that an Emergency Doctor gave me was to have faith, hope and belief that I would be well again and not to think the worst. To believe that I was going to be well and that I would recover. I would like to leave you with the same message.

To end, please note that what I shared is only for information and educational purposes only based on my own personal experience. There are no cures at the moment, the homely remedies, I used were intended to help alleviate my symptoms. Always ensure you are well informed about any homely remedies prior to taking them and with consultation and guidance from Health Professionals.

Thank you to all the Health Professional

and Frontline Key Workers, without you. Including Health Professionals who have been involved my direct Health Care and Well Being.

You can also connect with me via Instagram Click Here

Additional Resources:

The World Health Organisation

National Health Service U.K.

Steam Inhalation: What Are The Benefits?

Ginger tea benefits: Drink THIS to beat a cold or flu this winter

Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

I AM PRESENTING WITH CORONAVIRUS SYMPTOMS!

2020-04-01T19:00:00.001+01:00

Disclaimer: This blog post is based on my personal experience in the U.K. I am not a Specialist Medical Professional. Please consult your Local Health Medical Practitioner & Emergency Guidance including the World Health Organization (WHO) guidance. I did what personally worked for me including following my Hospital Consultant and General Practitioner Service, medical guidance. I am sharing for educational purposes, to raise further awareness and as a lesson learnt process. Lastly, also as an opportunity to connect with people who may have experienced similar symptoms as mine.

"You have to believe you will be okay, you will recover and

must try not think the worst"

- Emergency NHS Medical Doctor

On 27th March 2020, I started frantically calling the U.K. National Health Service (NHS) number 111, which resulted in me being connected to 999 Emergency Services. After nearly 8-9 days of trials and tribulations of attempting to cure myself through homely remedies, including following General Practitioner (GP) advice and NHS 111 Medical Guidance. I progressively started feeling worse within a short space of time from mild cold/flu symptoms to moderate/high persistent breathlessness, chest pain, chest pressures and congestion symptoms.

Although, I maintained mental and physical calmness during my ordeal, I was becoming exhausted by self-medicalizing and trying to control my own symptoms, which appeared to become progressively worse each day. I was becoming slightly mentally and physically exhausted with having to cope independently without specialist medical input through the attacks and in overcoming the periods of breathlessness. Thankfully prior to the calling 111, by the divine intervention of the universe, I was encouraged by my brothers in Canada to go hospital, consequently their words prompted me to contact 999. I had reached the stage of requiring emergency guidance before my symptoms became potentially worse.

Furthermore, I was self-diagnosing based on past experiences of suffering with similar pneumonia and bronchitis ailments. Also reacting more emotively based on hearing dire and deadly global corona virus pandemic news. Instinctively, I feared being breathless more than any other symptoms and the impact the viral infection was having on lungs. I chose not to prolonged matters with family input by waiting until last minute, when my condition could have potentially been more of a high-risk emergency incident.

MY PERSONAL JOURNAL & EXPERIENCE:

In the back of my mind I suspected corona virus could be reason of my symptoms but chose to hang onto an optimistic outlook rather than overly panic. I was also conflicted by NHS and World Health Organisation Guidance, in terms of whether my symptoms were associated with the corona virus or something else such as a chest infection.

According to the WHO, “The most common symptoms of COVID-19 are fever, tiredness, and dry cough. Some patients may have aches and pains, nasal congestion, runny nose, sore throat or diarrhea. These symptoms are usually mild and begin gradually. Some people become infected but don’t develop any symptoms and don't feel unwell. Most people (about 80%) recover from the disease without needing special treatment. Around 1 out of every 6 people who gets COVID-19 becomes seriously ill and develops difficulty breathing. Older people, and those with underlying medical problems like high blood pressure, heart problems or diabetes, are more likely to develop serious illness. People with fever, cough and difficulty breathing should seek medical attention.”

MY SYMPTOMS:

Upper chest pain with sensations of persistent pain, pressure and congestion. At times wheezing and sensations of feeling like the air in my throat was closing in.

Back pressure contributing to breathlessness, pressure, pain and as though I was being deprived of oxygen.

Sore throat, dry mouth, dry lips and minor coughing, sneezing.

The viral infection triggered Fibromyalgia flare up symptoms such as numbness sensations in my hands and legs and feeling of loss of circulation. Including fiery sensations musculoskeletal chronic pain sensations and brain fog (includes cognitive issues such as limited concentration levels and headaches).

Intolerance to exposure to cold temperatures, including drinks and food.

WHAT MY SYMPTOMS FEEL LIKE:

Medically, my symptoms are not seen as being severe nor fall into the NHS category of high-risk person with a persistent unbearable cough with high temperatures.

According to 111 NHS Guidance these are the symptoms that we need to look out for in the U.K. which are related to the coronavirus.

“Do you have a new continuous cough?

New: means a cough that you've not had before, or if you usually have a cough, it's got worse.

Continuous: means coughing a lot for more than an hour, or 3 or more coughing episodes in 24 hours.”

As a personal experience, it felt like a survival game of endurance in being able to overcome viral infection attacks thrown my way.

The viral chest infection feels like an attack on my lungs and chest. A pressure as though something is pushing against my chest, filling up my lungs and restricting my breathing. If felt as though something was trying to test how long my immune defense mechanism can cope being afflicted before it stopped.

It felt as though being tested for mentally patience, calmness and tolerance. Also, physically to see if my body could cope and persevere through it before it attacks again.

The most heightened stages of these attacks are early evening hours, during the night and early morning. During the day, I was able to still manage some of my daily living tasks. I had already adapted a slower pace lifestyle as a result of living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue for the past four years.

Therefore, as a result of pre-existing underlying condition, was not able to distinguish whether aches, pains, tiredness symptoms where related to Corona Virus or Fibromyalgia.

TIME FRAME OF SYMPTOMS:

Over two weeks ago, I started experiencing minor seasonal cold/flu symptoms followed by chills. I brushed off the symptoms as something that would eventually go away. At this stage, I was not coughing repeatedly, or presenting with high temperatures. I was presenting with low to moderate temperatures, until recently where I’ve had on and off episodes of high temperatures. Mind you, this was based on a gaussmeter of checking how hot my chest and back was (NHS Guidance). I have been waiting for over three weeks for my thermometer delivery order to arrive due to shortages.

Up to this point, I was self-assessing and medicalizing at home and trying not to think the worst. I have been completing my NHS GP Service online self-assessment forms for my own sanity and medical history records. Also, as a means for GP Health Professionals to keep track of my health progress.

I decided to be proactive and take matters into my own hands, rather than wait and be left out when the U.K. Government starts testing the general public. Currently, testing in the U.K. is limited to patients in Hospital, Health Professionals and some Dignitaries.

PHYSICAL DISTANCING IN SHOPS HAD BEEN IMPLEMENTED YET:

I started to keep my distance and be mindful of crowds prior to developing a minor cold. As, I knew that I could potentially be compromised due to my weakened immune system. I also didn’t want to sit around until the viral infection hit me, to find out what impact (if any) it would have on my underlying conditions of Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigues and Hypothyroidism.

I was in full-self lockdown mode, just a day or two before I started to develop cold symptoms. I made my last trip to the post-office, pharmacy and supermarket over 16 days ago. During that time, I was also surprised that the most business owners had not implemented physical distancing in their shops. As much as, I tried to keep myself safe, it was becoming increasingly harder to maneuver around people who seemed oblivious to potential risks of being close. The only person, that I could control was me by taking myself out of the social community equation.

Initially, we were informed by U.K. Government to wash our hands regularly and to be mindful of surfaces. So, most of us carried on, with our social habits, as though there no pending high-risk health concerns.

If we washed our hands and were being mindful of surfaces and refrained from shaking hands, we would be mimimise risk of exposure.

Initial U.K. Health Guidance

The other reason, I chose to start implementing physical distancing at the time was due to the lack of clarity about the potential impact of the viral infection on people with underlying chronic illness health conditions such as mine including weak immune systems.

I didn’t need to sit around to test out whether I could survive this virus, or not (herd immunity). I already knew based on previous experiences of affected by seasonal colds and flu's that it took me longer to recover. More so, after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. You can refer to my previous blog post here of my concerns for people living with chronic illnesses.

PROGRESS TO DATE OF MY SYMPTOMS :

I am now on day 15-16 since experiencing my initial symptoms. I am starting to lose count of how many day's I've been in self-isolation as every day has started to look and feel the same. Yesterday, I started to feeling as though I had recovered, which turned out to not be the case during the night. During the night, I started to develop familiar symptoms of persistent breathing issues until early morning hours. I continue to still experience uncomfortable minor breathing issues, which have woken me up from sleep and kept me awake.

Initially, I thought my chest infection would clear within 7-10 days, but that hasn't been the case. I didn't expect to experience unbearable prolonged periods of breathlessness, with at times seemed to occur instantaneously. Nor being woken up during sleep from wheezing as though my wind wipes were closing in.

The symptoms have also been confusing at, as I have felt as though I recovering and well a few times. Only to start feeling adverse impacts later in the evening until early morning hours. I have now become accustomed to the symptoms patterns and time frame of potential attacks, which usually start off as minor before quickly escalating, into a full-blown unbearable experience.

My homely remedies consisted so far have consistent of the following routines:

Hot water steaming with Vicks Rub to clear my airways/lungs (early morning and evening time, including regular intervals during the day if required).

Drinking Hot/Warm water at regular intervals to maintain hydration; usually mixed with fresh ginger, lemon and vinegar. Occasionally, I drink lukewarm soda water with lemon.

I have also been mindful to maintain healthy nutrition and eliminated alcohol intake. Mainly sticking with warm or hot foods for now.

Implementing breathing exercises and Yoga/Pilates, via YouTube videos to maintain calmness through the storm.

Ordered a Salbutamol Inhaler to alleviate wheezing and breathlessness. I have used inhalers in the past.

Advised by my GP Health Professional to take Paracetamol: Initially, I uncertain about taking Paracetamol due to Hospital Consultation Guidance (re: Fibromyalgia Management). I refrained from taking it, including Anti-Inflammatory Painkillers. I started taking paracetamol days before, I rung 999 out of panic and feeling hopeless in being able to alleviate my symptoms. Prior to this, I had taken 1-2 antibiotics as a last result (previous prescription for similar severe chest infection relation symptoms), which I found in my medication box. I prefer to refrain from taking antibiotics to protect my immune system, as much as possible.

Prior to the pandemic impacting us in the U.K, I started searching online for additional supplements, homeopathy medication (homely remedies) in advance preparation of the eventual impact of the deadly virus afflicting us.

As far as I am currently aware, there is no definitive solution to curing this current viral infection. Aside from alleviating symptoms, in order for the immune system to fight the viral infection off on its own.

There hasn’t been an equal number of good news on how many people are managing to recover and fight through their viral infections. I have yet to come across people who have experienced similar chest pain symptoms.

By now you might be wondering why I didn't into hospital?

If you are in the U.K., you will know why. If you are not, the current situation is that we can no longer go to the hospital, or our local GP Services. We must follow a triage system and process, which includes contacting our GP services, or 111-service (out of hours) followed by contacting 999 for emergencies only.

EMERGENCY SERVICES CALL ON 27th March 2020:

I fortunately managed to get to speak to a 999 Emergency Doctor, who informed me that, I was presenting with symptoms (breathlessness, chest pain, congestion and other symptoms) which were similar to 95% of people in the U.K who have reported their health concerns during to emergency services.

I was relieved at the same time to know what was causing me to feel so ill at the same time reality began to sick in. I become emotional and started to cry.

I cried in order to let go, let be and to come to acceptance of what is.I cried because he was there at my most vulnerable moment and was being empathic. For the first time, I felt the enormous distance between me and my immediate family who are in U.S. and Canada.
I cried not because I thought the worst, or about dying.
I cried because, I needed a moment to simply cry and cleanse my soul for the first time ever since this surreal and life challenging pandemic started to cause its global affliction.

“You have to believe you will be okay and that you will recover and not think the worst. You have to remain calm due to your Fibromyalgia as you don't want your symptoms to flare up.” These were the reassuring words from the Emergency Services Health Professional during the call.

He was compassionate and empathetic. He took his time to listen to me and to understand my symptoms and to also calm some of my anxieties (which stemmed from fear of the unknown). He understood my Fibromyalgia Flare Symptoms without me needing to explain, which I didn't even suspect at the time. Such as numbness and feelings of deprivation of air circulation in my arms and legs, which I thought where to do with my chest infection and/or coronavirus.

He waited to ensure that I had taken paracetamol during the phone call. He patiently and repeatedly informed me of the adverse symptoms which, I needed to look out for and what to do if I could no longer manage being at home. At this stage, I was also experiencing brain fog, which at times makes it harder for me to retain or remember detailed information during conversations.

He also told me honestly, the stark reality of hospitals being at full capacity, including how medical professionals were prioritizing high risk patients. Also, that it would be better for me to remain at home, rather than potentially becoming sicker in hospital, or infect others.

To be quite honest the last place, I wanted to be was in the hospital. All, I could imagine was sitting in a crowded emergency room for endless hours. I also needed to keep warm to protect my chest infection and minimize Fibromyalgia flare up due to intolerance to the cold.

For the first time his explanation made sense to me. Prior to this, I felt as though the national government message had not been very clear or simple enough. If someone had explained it to me in the basic terms the Emergency Doctor had explained it to me, I wouldn’t have entertained thinking the worst of what could potentially happen.

THIS IS WHAT I UNDERSTAND ABOUT OUR CURRENT UK HEALTH SYSTEM & SUPPORT:

1. There is no cure or vaccine yet for this viral infection.

2. The hospital staff are not doing anything different from what a person who is well enough to cope with their symptoms is doing at home. Such as meeting nutrition needs, medication treatment and care needs of those who need it most. With the exception of the ventilation medical care they are providing for those at high risk and unable to control their breathing on their own.

3. If you can manage your own health and well-being even though unbearable than usual symptoms. Such as being able to clear/alleviate your airways and other symptoms, it is better to remain at home than to go into hospital

4. My understanding now also is that people who have additional complex conditions, can also be supported with easing and managing their pre-existing conditions.

6. My GP Service Doctor has informed me that there are some people who start to show signs of improvement after 4-5 days of experience the worst symptoms.

For the first time ever, I am much calmer about my future prospects in being able to
battle through this viral infection more than before. Even though there is still
uncertainty about the future and including impact the viral infection has on our internal
organs.

Although I am not fully recovered yet, I have choosing to hang onto an optimistic outlook and to focus on what I can control. I am choosing to believe in hope and the possibility of a full recovery.

Had I not experienced being afflicted with a chronic illness prior to this viral pandemic; I may have had a different outlook and thought the worst would happen. I may not have been as calm and optimistic as I have been (even though I've experienced moments of slight fear these moments haven't been long lasting).

Being afflicted with a chronic illness has opened me up to so many life and death existential life lessons, including the importance of slowing down, calming down, being grateful and being mindful of my overall well-being. The importance of being in tune mentally and physically with what’s going on with my chronic illness symptoms (so that they don't escalate). When you are confronted with life changing news about your own mortality, life going forward and your perspective changes.

Lastly, I would also like to emphasize that I have not been tested yet. I have only been informed that I am presenting similar coronavirus symptoms based on what 95%
people have reported so far. Regardless of whether I have the symptoms or not, I am choosing to hold onto hope. I am choosing to continue focusing on listening to positive information; and to embrace fun things including mindless scrolling through Social Media and watching Netflix.

Laughter is the best natural medicine

I am not closing my eyes to the absurdity of life and the grave global challenge we are currently being confronted by. It is a very saddening and devastating reality, which is awakening most of us to the fact that we are not invisible to life adversities. I was prepared mentally of potentially being impacted by this viral infection. So, when it did finally impact me, I was not overly fearful.

As an Existentialist, I am choosing to live life in the now, for today and nothing more. Tomorrow is never promised. I am choosing to not focus on external forces, that I cannot control and to focus on creatively what I can control.

To end, I hope somehow that by sharing my personal journey, you can relate on some level. If you are in self-isolation and practicing social distancing, I hope you are focusing on feeding your soul, mind and body with feel good factor things, which will continue to service you well and help you mentally and physically.

This too shall soon eventually pass.

Stay Safe

YOUR POSITIVE OUTLOOKING VIEWS & FEEDBACK DO MATTER!

If you have been impacted and are experiencing symptoms, I wish you a speedy recovery and overall well-being. I wish for everyone to continue to remain safe as this viral infection is no joke and I would not wish anyone to experience what and so many other people globally have experienced so far.

Many thanks to all Health Care and Frontline Key Worker Heroes for your best efforts in meeting essential needs of many people, under extraordinary and very challenging circumstances.

I cannot thank my family and friends enough, including the positive and optimistic social media network of Creative Entrepreneurs which I belong to.

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge families and people that have unexpectedly and tragically lost a loved due to this deadly virus. I cannot begin to image what you must be going through. May the souls who have passed on, rest in eternal in peace.

What is your experience? How are you managing through this surreal experience of the pandemic?

Have you been experiencing similar symptoms I have been experiencing, especially those associated with chest pain, pressure/congestion and breathlessness? I would like to hear what your experience has been life.

Feel free to connect with me via my Social Media Accounts:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chikocfm/

Tiktok: @chikomatenda

YouTube: Chiko Matenda

SOURCES:

National Health Service (NHS UK)

111 NHS Online Service (Check if you have symptoms)

Wealth Health Organization (WHO)

999 for U.K. Emergencies Health Services
Telegraph U.K. Lockdown Explained

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CORONAVIRUS: DAY 7 OF SOCIAL-ISOLATION (MY EXISTENTIAL EXPERIENCE SO FAR)

2020-03-23T14:00:00.000+00:00

In this blog, I am going to be focusing on what I have been experiencing, so far as a result of self-isolation (currently on day 7). I would love to also hear about your own experience.

Foremost, I would like to share with you my experience of living with a chronic illness and limitations of social engagements. This current Corona Virus Pandemic seems to parallel my experience of having to implement social distancing measures as a result of becoming chronic ill with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue a few years ago. I noticed the similarities of between my intial of challenging experience of having to remain indoors due to illness, to the current situation, where most people who are not used to social isolation or disatncing are becoming bored, tired and frustrated by having to remain indoors. Whilst, for most people like me with debilating and limiting physical and mental health conditions, being indoors for days or months at is the norm.

Since 2016, I have unknowingly and partially been implementing social distancing, as a result of having to leave my full-time job and due to developing a chronic illness. I have become accustomed to living a minimised social lifestyle, in comparison to my previous active lifestyle. I have had to modify my lifestyle significantly, in order to minimise the risk of making my symptoms worse. This has also meant, living a new lifestyle which mostly in the first couple of years, limited me from partaking regular social engagement activities and contact with people.

I have also had to adjust to being mindful not to expose myself to seasonal cold/flu due to having a compromised immune system. Also being mindful to not trigger adverse symptoms of widespread chronic musculoskeletal pain and having to cope with endless days/weeks of being in bed as a result of being easily susceptible to flu systems.

The current Codvid_19 pandemic reminds of my life challenging experience when I first was diagnosed with my condition. At the time, I felt like my free will, choice and lifestyle liberties were being taken away. As though, new measures were being imposed either by being physically challenged, or by health professionals. Externally, health professional echoed the same message to me to slow down and to start adjusting to a new lifestyle. It took me to a couples of years to start mentally and physically adjusting to my new normal.

As an existentialist, I struggled with the concept of free will and choice. As with existentialism we have choice and free will in any given circumstance, even during times we feel restricted and challenged by life challenging situations.

At the time, it felt as though life challenging events were being imposed on me, before I was ready to adjust. I was physically and mentally challenged; in that I couldn’t go out for several days and months at day due to
my condition being very debilitating.

I found myself struggling with being patient, including mentally and physically slowing down. I reached a stage where I had no option but to do so in order to start healing.

Even though it felt as though these limitations were happening suddenly or too fast enough for me to catch this wasn’t the case. Similar to the current Corona Virus Pandemic there were signs. I had pre-warning signs that of not being well and assumed it was cold or flu symptoms that would eventually go away. Unknowingly, by the time, I realised by condition has become to severe, I had not option but to seek urgent medical care.

This is the similar warning we received with Corona Virus. Most of us have been listening sadly to the news about the impact of the virus in China. Then the impact in Italy and other countries. As it had not hit home, we still continued to carry on, without adjusting our lifestyles in anyway. Even after we had started to hear news about the impacts that were occurring, we still carried on.

Reason being is that, something invisible is hard to believe until it, impact you. Then some of us will start to adjust our lifestyles. If you have experienced something similar, even though it’s invisible you are most likely to start paying more close attention, including taking immediate action to safeguard you and others around you.

What I have learnt through these years, that you do not have to wait for something to be true (especially something with a serious warning label), in order to start taking action.

During the period of living with severe chronic illness symptoms, I missed things such as

Regular social contact and engagement

I missed being in nature and being able to easily go out to enjoy my previous leisure activities such as jogging or hiking. I cried often due to feeling as though, I was missing out on life.

I missed normal work routine, in terms of the regular engagement with work colleagues and customers.

Deep gratitude for life and for still having the ability to do somethings including the most valuable things such as being able to breath.

I have learnt to value new physical and mental abilities even though more limited than before. Reason being is that I still have the capability to be mobile and to write this blog. It took me a long time and it was a battle to reach the stage of acceptance of losing what my physical and mental capability.

"Life has no meaning the moment you lose the illusion of being eternal."- Jean-Paul Sartre

As a result of slowing down, nature became more meaningful, because I took time to notice the beauty in things, that I hadn’t invested much time noticing before.I took the time to notice people and the value in connecting with my people in local community and the nature around it. Even if human connections meant only brief daily encounters such as a smile, good morning and a thank you; it was still important for me to recognise people and to connect with them. Prior, to that I didn’t have time to truly notice people, because I had brought into the fast pace lifestyle (road to nowhere).
I started to focus more on actualizing my vision and true-life purpose. Living in the now and with minimal regrets become

more essential for me. Flash forward to today, it almost feels like it was a lifetime ago and a surreal life changing experience. I am a completely different person than I used to be. I have become someone who is meant to, the person who appreciates the more meaningful things in life. How to be present in the now, and grateful for what I already have. A person who has become patient, learnt how to become peaceful internally, less stress and more mindful maintaining good overall well-being. I have learnt to simply slow down and to value life and being (truly existing).

This is what I learnt through the most challenging life experience:

I had to go through a soul cleansing including

grieving the loss of me, in order to start living again.

There are similarities of living with an invisible illness and the current pandemic. In terms of having to isolate and implement social distancing. Also, in terms of being impacted by something invisible. Whereby, as much as you try to explain to people they won't understand or believe until they experience it themselves, or it hits much closer to home.

My current Experience of Corona Virus Pandemic 2020

Staying indoors is not so much a struggle now, due to my pre-existing experience. What I am struggling with slightly again is the lack of free will, choice and lifestyle liberties to go out. When you have certain liberties and privileges taken away from you, it takes a slight, or major mental adjustment.

As a result of my current self-isolation I miss;

The civil liberties and privileges of being able to go out to leisurely activities such oing to the local Café, Culture Activities and Shopping.
The connectivity to otherness, even if it’s just in passing and brief.
Sitting in a café observing other people and feeling this sense of connectivity to humanity.
The basic human connectivity of seeing someone smile, laugh, people exchanging words, even the kids crying in the background. I miss the exchange of sitting in front of someone in an outdoors setting and being able to exchange some form of physical interaction; for instance hugs and handshakes.
Not having to be very mindful all of the time of potentially catching an infection, as a result of touching something in public or potentially be infected by someone with a virus. Even though, I am thankful of this new lesson of why it's essential to be mindful.

Yesterday, I was fortunate to receive a food and essentials delivery from my local supermarket, which is now becoming scarce due to long waiting periods, or limited availability of some items in the supermarkets. There are so many sensory things, I have started to noticed as a result of social-isolation. For instance, I noticed that even with the delivery, I have started to miss the social face-to-face social interactions even with strangers. Reason being is that I am self-isolating, so now all my products are being delivered to my doo, with minimal contact with a delivery person.

My human senses of yearning for human social interaction have become more heightened. For the first time, I felt as though my civil liberties had been stripped away, limited and restricted by a boarder between us; in my case my door. Instinctually, I felt this is what it must feel for those people in prison or mental health facilities, who are put into self-isolation. The only difference is that I have the luxury of being in my own home environment.

I felt guilt and empathy during my experience and encounter with the delivery person. I felt guilty for not being able to help carry the food crates in, as I usually. This time around, I was peering through a pipping hole, as the delivery person left my items inside the boxes I had left outside my door. I felt empathy for the person, because I felt sorry for them. I not sure why, but I guess sorry on my part for not being able to help. Also, sorry that they had to experience this type of limited engagement. I also wondered, if they thought, I believed they were infected. Or if they believed, I could not open my door because I was infected.

This had become a surreal moment in my mind, and too hard to digest of what the potential reality could become if the impact of the Corona Virus does not end soon.

At the same, I felt gratitude for being able to receive food and necessities even though, I didn't receive everything as expected. I reflected on what it feels for most people globally who are still living in hunger and have to ration their food portion or have to go without their basic needs being met. I reflected on people who fought in wars and those who have experienced life challenges, where they were deprived of their civil liberties including basic nutrition.

I also felt content in knowing the safe measures, I was implementing in order to protect myself and the other person. I was also content in knowing that I didn’t have to touch the food crates that t was one less thing I had to worry about touching. Then I reflected on some people in Asian countries who have become accoustomed for years to wearing masks, as part of their lifestyle, because of being afflicted by previous viruses. How some of us found it hard to understand why they wore the masks in the first, including in the U.K. Now I have awoken to their reality. Even if some of them of wear the face masks for vanity reason.

For now, I am waiting for my chest infection, to clear as I adjust to the new U.K. government risk reduction measures and approach to managing this pandemic. I will share more of my thoughts of this in my next blog including being born in a privileged society.

To end, I am starting to realise now that some of you will start to experience similar feelings of loss, which I went through as a result of being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Feelings of grief, loss, fear due to uncertainity. You may also be going through a mental adjust to having to physically and mentally limit your current lifestyle. A new lifestyle which you has all of a sudden been imposed of you, due to circumstances beyond your control. You might also be adjusting financially, like I had to due to suddendly losing your job, or not being able to obtain your new opportunities.

All your feelings are normal and all part of the process of healing and growing through a life challenging experience. Be kind to yourself and protect your physical and mental well-being at all costs. As you need to maintain your immune system, as much as possible.

I hope during this period, you will see it as opportunity to deeply reflect on what’s most positively meaningful for you. To eventually, also see this time as an opportunity to see the new lesson, this exprience is bringing you. I hope you will eventually start to see that you are not losing you (if you feel this), that you are gaining a renewed you. Due to being given the space and time, to tap into your creativity and focus on things which bring you joy. Including connecting with your life vision and purpose. This is especially if you are having to stay home most the time. It is time to deeply focus on what’s possible, rather than what is beyond your control. Lastly how you can contribute to the adding virtual social value through your creativity.

Thank you for taking the time read my blog and for connecting with. I would love to hear your own personal experience how you are dealing with social-isolation or distancing. Including if what you have resonnate with in my blog post (if anything at all).

Stay Safe

Corona Virus: Reasons Why Someone Living With Fibromyalgia & CFS Might Be Worried

2020-03-13T15:52:00.000+00:00

This blog post is based on my own personal experience as someone living with Fibromyalgia plus other medical condition such as Costochondritis, Chronic Fatigue Sydrome , Hypothyrodism and a Compromised Immune System. My views also take into consideration similar concerns, I've heard or seen from people like me in the Fibromyalgia and CFS Community. Consisting mainly of people who have compromised immune symptoms aside in addition to Fibromyalgia.

For the first time ever, following the public announcement from Boris Johnson (U.K. Prime Minister) and Sir Patrick Vallance (Government Chief Scientific Adviser) yesterday; I have a better understanding of the significant impact Corona Virus could have on people at risk and the economy. The serious impact that is now being considered is for the high risk and vulnerable people who could potentially be adversely impacted, as a result of coming across someone who has the virus.

From the beginning my main concern has been the adverse impact corona virus could potentially have on me as someone with living chronic illnesses, such as Fibromyalgia with other additional underlying medical conditions. Also, for people who are considered to be at high risk and in need of urgent medical care.

I have been astounded especially by people who consider themselves to be well and healthy, have been over buying and stock piling food, toilet tissues and hand sanitizers without serious consideration on the potential impact of the most vulnerable and high risk groups in their community. Mind you, I am not including myself yet, in the most vulnerable group (even though my condition is disabling and debilitating).

What has been highly concerning for me from the beginning of the new of Corona Virus developments has been the lack of information on the potential impact for people living with Chronic Illnesses.

Understandably, the highest priority and focus for the U.K. National Health Service and Government is for the high risk groups; the elderly and those in hospital.

My other concern is that at some point we "the vulnerable group," may be left behind and not considered seriously as a group category to include in special measures when the time comes. This has been the normal approach and attitude that most people in the Fibromyalgia Community experience when it comes to serious issues impacting on our health and financial support from government. Most people, including myself continue to experience on going and much harder times in trying to prove how sick we are. At a local level (GP's Services) and national level (Government). Reason being is "we look well," this is the challenge of living with an invisible chronic illness.

Here are my thoughts:
1. As Fibromyalgia and Chronic FatigueSyndrome is often not taken seriously as a debilitating chronic illness already by most Medical Professionals, Government Officials and Local Communities Officials, how we will fair during the most challenging times? This excludes Specialist Health and Government professionals who are well informed about Fibromyalgia (which is a small number). It remains to be one of those invisible conditions that is excluded from the category of being a serious chronic illness which adversely affects millions of people.

The following quote from Fibromalya Action U.K demonstrates some of the challenges, people with chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia experience;

"FMA UK have worked to improve training content that people working at the DWP use when considering people that are diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Therefore, we are shocked, dismayed and angry that there appears to be a culture of intolerance towards people with disabilities and specifically fibromyalgia. It certainly explains some of the stories that we receive on our helplines about people being mistreated at assessments. To hear from Charlotte within the DWP talking about the "cynical attitude" and them "not being empathetic towards certain illnesses." However, it was really shocking to hear comments like "another claim of fibromyarse." This is not acceptable on any level and is clear discrimination."

2. Most people living with Fibromyalgia have compromised immune systems, due to other conditions they either had prior to, or after they were diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. The condition alone of Fibromyalgia is debilitating on its own and is made worsened by other diseases and viruses such as the Flu Virus. I also have an autoimmune condition known as Hypothyroidism and previously suffered from adverse impacts of Seasonal Flu's such as Bronchitis (stretching over a three year period).

3. Fibromyalgia symptoms mimic flu like symptoms. Some of us still do not know how we will be able to distinguish between Fibromyalgia versus Corona Virus Symptoms. Including when would be the most appropriate time to contact Health Services. Some of us may also be at risk of delaying contacting Health Professionals for various reason, thereby worsening our symptoms.

4. People like me are more vulnerable to flu and pneumonia symptoms and on top of that we have the added pressure of potentially having to deal with Corona Virus. Most of us have been able to rest assured with having the option to be protected against preexisting seasonal flu viruses. Flu alone for me triggers a flare up, or chronic fatigue symptoms, plus other ailments which impede on cognitive and physical functioning. My symptoms including sensory and nerves are more heightened and feel worse than they would normally in a healthier person.

A significant flare up at its worst means experiencing more severe musculoskeletal wide spread pain all over the body, which impacts on muscles, bones, ligaments, tendons and nerves. The adverse impact potentially means becoming immobile for days, weeks or months. Then there are the cognition issues, such as Chronic Fatigue, Insomnia, Sensory Overload and Cognitive Impairment. Which are made worse also by external environment factors and cold and flu symptoms.

5. There is still the unknown factors of what could potentially happen to a person with a chronic illness who has an underlying chronic illness with multiple ailments.

Lastly, there is still the unknown factor whether people with chronic illnesses such as Fibromyalgia will be given serious consideration in the category of, "the most vulnerable?" Or whether there continue to be a disregard of people living with this debilitating and incurable chronic illness, as "a not serious enough condition."

There is the potential risk that this group of people could be overlooked and excluded from being given serious consideration, as one of the most vulnerable, or potentially at-risk groups. As explained above, due to historical behavior and lack of awareness of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, as well as other similar chronic illnesses.

When the time comes, when the U.K. Government decides vulnerable groups must self-isolate, who will be our voice in government? Who will represent and speak on our behalf in Parliament, or other Government/Media Platforms?

Additional Lasting Thoughts:

For the healthier people who are still wondering what the panic is all about. Our panic is us (people like me or high-risk groups) coming into close contact with you. Should you be the carrier of the virus "universal gods forbid." You are most likely to experience milder symptoms and recover after a week or two. While those of us with comprised immune symtpoms and additoanal chronic illnesses conditions are most likely to experience severe symptoms which could last for months.

Even if the illnesses may not lead to death (we don't know yet), there is the change that most of us, could potentially become seriously debilitated and bedridden for days, weeks, months. This is the same impact, well for me, that I experience for example when infected with cold/flu like symptoms, or prolonged activity/travel. Point being, is that it doesn't take much for people living with Fibromyalgia to become more debilitated.

To end, next time you decide to go shopping. If you intend on going overboard in medical supplies and stock piling on food (due to fear) please consider someone who might medically and urgently need those items. Thank you in advance:)

YOUR FEEDBACK AND VIEW MATTERS!
I value your feedback, especially if you are living with a Chronic Illness and Invisible Illness like Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome with other underlying conditions. What has been your experience so far? Do you have any concerns or worries?

You can connect with me via the following Social Media Platforms:
Living with Fibromyalgia Facebook Page
Instagram ChikoCfM

Additional Resources:

Diclaimer:

I write as I think and review my writing (if needed) after publishing my blog posts. My intention is not to be grammatly or politically correct. Otherwise knowing me, I'll would end up spending ridiculous hours reviewing and re-editing my written work before pressing the publish button. Consequently, I may end up not publishing anything due to fear what other people think, or end up diluting my initial thoughts in order to please others.

If you notice any errors, spelling mistakes or incorrect grammer, please do keep this in mind. Plus, I suffer from cognitive impairement:) I hope by reading my blog post, you undrestand the substance of what I am trying to say, that's what matters the most for me.

Living with Fibromyalgia- The Things I don't Tell You!

2019-07-16T17:45:00.002+01:00

The things I don’t tell you about living with a debilitating musculoskeletal widespread pain and chronic illness known as Fibromyalgia.

First and foremost, you'll often find me looking seemingly well. It's a facade I've grown accustomed to, to the point where I've stopped outwardly explaining that I'm still not well.

There's a lot I keep to myself.

One reason is I don't want you to think, "Oh, here she goes again with her sob story," not that you would necessarily react that way, but it's a concern that crosses my mind.

Each time we meet, I choose not to disclose that I'm not well because I don't want to be the party's killjoy.

Here are some things I wish I could share:

Just because I appear well on the outside doesn't mean all is well inside. Most of the time, I'm grappling with my health. It's a constant struggle that never relents.

It requires ten times the daily effort to coax my brain into a semi-normal state. I have to push through and surpass the mental fog that clouds my thoughts before even contemplating stepping outside on most days.

Describing how it feels is a challenge in itself.

In the intricate dance of daily life, what you see is just the surface, the facade I've mastered – the art of appearing well when, in reality, my world is a constant struggle. There's so much I don't share, not because I don't trust you, but because I fear the label of the perpetual bearer of bad news.

Here are glimpses of the hidden battles:

Imagine waking up one day and realizing that some integral part of your brain's functionality is lost. The effortless activities we take for granted become monumental challenges. My new normal is a realm where even the simplest routines demand Herculean efforts.

I must will my mind to coax my body into action – waking up, walking to start the kettle, or taking a shower. Mundane tasks, once thoughtless, now require meticulous planning and strategic execution to overcome the exhaustion that accompanies them.

It's an internal struggle that defies description.

Physically, it feels like moving dead weight, especially when navigating stairs, which, to me, feels like scaling the Himalayas. My feet need time to awaken, pushing through the numbness as if I have no legs to hold me.

This is not a plea for pity but a window into the unspoken aspects of my life.

Before meeting you, my mind meticulously calculates the distance I'll have to traverse and the mental and physical toll it will exact. I'm constantly strategizing how to navigate our social interaction, contemplating its impact on my well-being, both physically and mentally.

But this is not about changing mindsets. I've become adept at self-development, honing resilience in the face of adversity. The challenge lies not in thinking about it but in the relentless, painful reminders from my body and mind that I'm unwell.

No matter how well-rested I may seem, the nights are restless, and sleep offers no sanctuary. It's a vicious cycle that can lead to isolation, an inability to fully participate in the world.

So much remains untold.

The hesitation stems not from a lack of desire but from the fear of revealing vulnerabilities that may prompt sympathy. I halt myself because, at times, my throat feels like it's on the brink of tears, and I don't want you to witness my vulnerability.

As we converse, I strive to absorb your words and mirror your enthusiasm, all while wrestling with the sense of alienation from a life I once knew. Simple words escape me, spelling becomes a challenge, and I navigate a world where the mundane is now a puzzle.

While we sit together, I'm juggling thoughts about our surroundings, anticipating the discomfort that might set in and calculating how long I can endure before succumbing to the need to move. The awkwardness of standing mid-conversation in a seated crowd becomes a concern, as I try not to draw attention to my physical struggles.

In these moments, my senses intensify, reacting acutely to noise and lighting. Sometimes, I leave earlier than anticipated, my heightened senses demanding solitude.

And then there's the joy – a different kind, accompanied by the bitter realization that every waking day begins with sickness. I've learned to slow down, sacrificing the fullness of life to find a more balanced existence. I live half a life, moderate and limited, to prevent the consequences of overexertion.

This is what I needed you to understand:

Appearances can be deceiving. While I may look the same, I'm no longer the person you used to know. There's much more to tell, and perhaps, with time, you'll come to know the intricacies of the life I now lead.

Counting My Spoons (Living with #Fibromyalgia)

2019-04-11T21:38:00.003+01:00

Thanks in advance for watching and for your contributions. In my video below, I discuss what it means to live and cope daily with the numerous Fibromyalgia Symptoms. Especially, the effort it takes to manage an activity which might appear like a simple task but can become complex. A simple task for someone living with Fibromyalgia can lead to exhaustion, a trigger of symptoms plus much more...

I talk about my experience of counting my spoons, what it felt like physically and mentally to attend my Physiotherapy Hospital Appointment, which took about 2-3 hours in total to commute via public transport.

Note: My video stopped halfway due to limited space on my phone. To be continued...

For Fibro & Chronic Illness Warriors - Join me @Fitbit App. A group for Well Being. Connect with me and PM via Living with Fibromyalgia Facebook Page

Existential Life Matters

Fading Memories of Wellness: Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness | Diary of a Fibro Warrior

It's Been So Long Since I Felt Truly Well: Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Illness

Resisting the Signals: My Early Years with Fibromyalgia

The Hard Lesson of Surrender

A Call to Awareness and Compassion

A Question for Fibro Warriors

Access Useful Fibro & ME/CFS Resources I’ve put together for you.

For more of my writing, you can also follow Diary of Fibro Warrior on Substack.

Disclaimer

Cardiomyopathy: The Invisible Chronic Illness That Took My Sister| A dedication to my little sister, Lorraine, who would have turned 30 today.

The road trip

Cardiomyopathy and Chronic Illnesses

What is cardiomyopathy, and why can it go unnoticed?

I see you

Life is too precious

A lifetime plus infinity

Helpful resources

Fibromyalgia Warriors Unite: Tips to Minimize Symptoms and Maximize Well-Being

Navigating the Sensory Storm Living with Fibromyalgia

My Parting Words To You

Fighting Fibromyalgia with Food: Recipes for Symptom Relief

Embracing the Storm: Finding Strength and Purpose in the Journey with Fibromyalgia

Breaking Mental Barriers: A Fibro Warrior's Journey to Self-Confidence

Embrace the New Year with Resilience and Hope | Fibro Warrior

Unmasking the Unseen Struggles: Navigating Employment Challenges with Fibromyalgia

The Unpredictable Struggle: Fibromyalgia and Work

Ideal Jobs and Entrepreneurship Opportunities for Individuals with Fibromyalgia

Embracing these options can bring about a range of benefits that enhance the overall well-being of those with Fibromyalgia:

The Isolation of Chronic Illness

Addressing Misunderstandings

Navigating the Unseen Struggles of Fibromyalgia in the Workplace: Beyond the Polished Exterior

Brain Fog Living It's Best Life & Season Without Me | Fall Season

Her Soul Departed Before The Passage of Time

George Floyd: I Have Seen The Confederate Flags & K.K.K Crosses

Why Am I Greatly Affected By The Killing of George Floyd?

In Loving Memory of You – Mon Petit Ange (Lorraine Matenda) | Transcending Grief & Loss

An Evil Alien Invader Left The White House| Reflecting on Women's 21st January 2017 | Inauguration 2021

Can Adversity Be A Gift? Unveiling Life's Challenges

Lessons Learnt from Adversity:

Navigating Adversity:

The Path Forward:

Where There is a Mindset, Will Power, There is Always a Way?

Personal Journey Through Adversity:

People in Adversity:

USEFUL EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES:

The School of Life - Resilience Cards - Find Confidence in The Face of Adversity by the School of Life. The Inside Track: An Inspirational Guide to Conquering Adversity Audible Audiobook – Unabridged by Peter Sage

BLACK LIVES MATTER - What has protesting accomplished?

Within the first few weeks of sustained protests the following has been accomplished so far:

Juneteenth Declared a State Holiday in Pennsylvania by Gov. Tom Wolf. "A National Freedom Day to commemorate the ending of slavery in the United States.To also recognise the importance of continuing to build a nation that truly reflects the self-evident truth that all people are created equal.”

Cities across Europe have come together after the death of George Floyd:

I CAN'T BREATHE & I AM IN THE U.K. -(REST IN POWER GEORGE FLOYD)

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Nelson MandelaAll Black Lives Matters May Your Souls Continue Resting In Eternal Peace

Coronavirus: Living with A Disabling Condition & Excluded From U.K. Government Covid-19 Measures

My Lessons Learnt: Experience Of Being Inflicted with Coronavirus Symptoms

I AM PRESENTING WITH CORONAVIRUS SYMPTOMS!

"You have to believe you will be okay, you will recover and must try not think the worst" - Emergency NHS Medical Doctor

CORONAVIRUS: DAY 7 OF SOCIAL-ISOLATION (MY EXISTENTIAL EXPERIENCE SO FAR)

My current Experience of Corona Virus Pandemic 2020

Corona Virus: Reasons Why Someone Living With Fibromyalgia & CFS Might Be Worried

Living with Fibromyalgia- The Things I don't Tell You!

Counting My Spoons (Living with #Fibromyalgia)

The School of Life - Resilience Cards - Find Confidence in The Face of Adversity by the School of Life.
The Inside Track: An Inspirational Guide to Conquering Adversity
Audible Audiobook – Unabridged by Peter Sage

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. - Nelson Mandela
All Black Lives Matters
May Your Souls Continue Resting In Eternal Peace

"You have to believe you will be okay, you will recover and

must try not think the worst"

- Emergency NHS Medical Doctor