I have had a few of the expected side effects:

• Breast tenderness (and growth! I’ve gone from a C to a D)
• Spotting
• Minor mood swings
• Heart palpitations the first two weeks

The spotting has only occurred around my period.  When I first started the pill I was two days into my cycle, my bleeding and pain decreased within 48 hours though it took my period a few days longer to finish.  My period is due again right now and I have had some minor spotting and cramping.  This side effect is supposed to go away after the first pill cycle, and is likely due to the low hormone levels in the pill.

I haven’t had any emotional numbing or sexual side effects.  I have actually been a lot more emotionally even, and more interested in intimacy since I am in worlds less pain.

Between ovulation, PMS, my actual period, and my body recovering for 3-4 days afterward I was dealing with fatigue and pain 2-3 weeks a month.  This month I have not had a pain day that even comes close to what I used to have, and the pain I do get is easier to resolve and overall is so much less.

This little pill has given me my life back.

Seriously, I feel like I’ve been reborn.  Over the past month I have felt my energy come back, I no longer need to be worried about eating, making plans, or being physically active.

The cramps I get when I spot are like a joke compared to stabbing pains, and digging aches I was getting from my shoulders to my knees.  I am still having some tension and pain in my right leg, though over this first month it has started to resolve, and for the first time has been responsive to massage.  I’ve been able to eat and go to the bathroom regularly.

This might get TMI, though before starting this medication I often would be unable to #2 for 3-5 days at a time depending on where I was in my cycle.  The week before and during my period I often couldn’t eat normal meals due to how bloated and swollen my abdomen was.

A month ago I wanted to go to a spin jam (meet up for fire performers), I was on my period and had no hope of driving a car, not to mention being steady enough with my equipment to light it on fire.  Last night I was able to go no problem.

More information:

• Lo Seasonique (drug information)

 Humidity

Once again, I can't cope
and I talk about the weather.
It's too raw
and it's rainy.
You know how I am on cloudy days.

I am not happy,
I think I am ok.

This is no different than anything else I have been through
it is just something else to survive.
And the humidity is sticking my shirt to my back
my face is swollen;
though that may be the thought of tears.
And I am soaked through
too numb -
too wet with circumstance.

This is one of those days I have nothing to offer
except that sense that I need
Something.

The weatherman says it's supposed to rain all week.
And I heard that the month of May has the highest rate of suicide;
not for the ones who think about it
for the ones who really die,
like Lucy.

I used to be the one who thought about it
now I think about how to keep all of you alive.
I swore to keep living at that damn Catholic funereal.

And I think there may be a God
every time there is a warm hand to hold in the ICU
and the tubes come out
and we get another chance to pick up the pieces.

But there isn't enough glue in the world
to put it all back together.
And rain will fall
lightning will strike
and I'll get another one of those phone calls.

I remember the sound of death in his voice.

I am not happy,
I think I am ok.

I know every moment, every thought, every feeling this poem comes from though I am still deciphering all it has to say.  It has a lot to say about faith, particularly my atheism.  That Catholic funereal was amazing, the priest was more forward thinking than most, though there was this stigma to the whole thing because of how she died.

We love to credit God for all of our second chances, though not question God when those chances are ripped away from us.

This poem touches a bit on survivor’s guilt.

At the heart though, it is about all the reasons to stay alive despite and because of the darkness.  It is about survival, all these things can happen and we can be ok.

I remember when I first got Vegan with a Vengeance  I was immediately drawn to the Stroganoff recipe, and was nearly incompetent at making it, let alone finding all the ingredients.  So this past winter I set off on a mission to make Stroganoff with more accessible ingredients, and with less intensive preparation and cooking.  This recipe came out of playing around with a few different basic recipes, and then finally hitting the right notes.

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp butter
• 1 large sweet onion
• 1 package Gardein beef tips
• 1 8 ounce carton baby bella (crimini) mushrooms
• 1 1/2 tbsp chopped garlic (jarred), 1-2 cloves fresh garlic
• 1 tablespoon dried parsley
• 1/4 cup cooking wine
• 2 tbsp tomato paste
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 2 teaspoons vegan Worcestershire
• 1 1/2 cup warm veggie broth
• 1/2 cup vegan sour cream
• 1 cup soy milk
• 3 tbsp flour

Thinly slice onion and quarter the rounds, thinly slice the mushrooms.  Put water for noodles on to boil.  Melt 2 tbsp vegan margarine in deep sauce pan, sauté onions until translucent, add beef tips and sauté until they begin to defrost, add mushrooms and garlic.

Once mushrooms have softened and released their moisture, and the beef tips have cooked through add the dried parsley and stir through, then add the cooking wine and put heat on high.

Salt the water for the noodles and add noodles to the water.  Stir as cooking wine reduces by two thirds, add tomato paste, soy sauce, and Worcestershire.  Stir until the consistency of the liquids thickens, and most of the cooking wine has evaporated.  Add 1 1/4 cup of the veggie broth and stir, reduce heat to medium high.

Mix flour into remaining warm broth until it forms a paste.  Allow mixture with veggie broth to simmer 1-2 minutes, then add sour cream stir in and break up all lumps, then add soy milk, allow to simmer 1-2 minutes stirring frequently, add flour and broth mixture and simmer 1-2 minutes.

Turn off heat on stroganoff, drain the noodles and serve!

Variations:

• Use full sized portabella caps in place of the vegan beef tips.
• Use Boca Crumbles in place of Gardien
•  Sprinkle with a bit of nutritional yeast
• Use 1/3 cup nutritional yeast, and 1 1/3 cup soy milk if you do not have vegan sour cream

Below is the divs for the current layout.  #box centers the layout and sets the layout width, #body sets up the header and begins the content background, #box2 sets up the tiles the content background, #content and #side are floats, and #footer closes the floats and contains the last sidebar.

#cross is not gone into in depth in this tutorial as a lot of the positioning concepts were explored in the article CSS Header Tutorial.

<body>
<div id="box">
   <div id="body">
	<div id="cross">
	    <div id="expiation-header">
                <a href="/">ex&nbsp;piation</a>/<a href="/blog" style="font-size:30px;">blog</a>
            </div> close #expiation-header
	    <div id="nav"></div>
	</div> close #cross
   </div> close #body
   <div id="box2">
      <div id="content">
      </div>  close #content
      <div id="side">
      </div> close #side
      <div id="footer">
      </div> close footer
   </div> close box2
</div> close box </body> 

The Classes:

We’ll start with the html and body declarations for the page, as they really set the stage for everything.  “html, body” sets the height of the page to 100%, padding and margins of those page elements to zero.

The body declaration sets up the background.  Note that background image is a large tiled jpeg, I still wanted the background centered on X, I set the tile of the background move around the center of the graphic, centering the background with the background-position attribute gives the page cleaner look.  Note that the background is also in a fixed position, I choose this option to really let the page’s transparency show through as the user scrolls.

html, body {
    height: 100%;
    margin: 0;
    padding: 0;
}

body {
     background-color: #8bc1bf;
     background-image: url('/images/layout/adore_bg.jpg');
     background-attachment: fixed;
     background-position: top center;
}

The main box has a static position, this forces the position attribute into it’s default state.  This is important as the rest of the style declarations play with positioning a lot. The width of the layout is set, along with centering the page through the marin-left/margin-right auto trick.

#box {
	position: static;
	width: 1000px;
	min-height:100%;
	margin-left: auto;
	margin-right: auto;
	margin-top: 0;
	margin-bottom: 0;
	padding: 0;
}

The #body declaration sets up the main header image.  The graphic begins to gradient of the background in the content box, along with the borders.  The actual header image is set as a background to allow divs within this ID to set up functional portions of the header.  At some point I’ll do “Header Tutorial Part II”, and show how drop down menus in #cross were set up.  Setting the height, width, padding, and margins of this ID was important to make sure that this div stays in line with the rest of the page content.

#body {
	width: 1000px;
	height: 654px;
	margin: 0;
	padding: 0;
	background-image: url('/images/layout/adore_body.png');
        background-position: top center;
        background-repeat: no-repeat;
}

The #box2 declaration is set in a div directly after #body, this div wraps around the rest of the content setting the width and the background.  Just in case of a mistake in the code the background is set to only repeat on Y.  This background is a transparent png with a Y tiling of the content borders, and the transparent background of the content box.

#box2 {
	width:1000px;
	margin: 0;
	padding: 0;
	background-image: url('/images/layout/adore_main_bg.png');
	background-repeat: repeat-y;
	background-position: top center;
}

The #content declaration floats left and has the padding set to clear the left border, and to make space between #content and the sidebar.  Remember that padding gets added to the total width of the div, so with 20px padding on the left and right the actual width of the div is 740px.  This is important to prevent throwing the layout out of alignment by going over 1000 pixels total between #content width and sidebar width.

#content {
	margin: 0;
	padding-top: 8px;
	padding-left: 20px;
	padding-right: 20px;
	padding-bottom: 0px;
	width:700px;
	float: left;
}

The #side is set to a width of 220px with a left and right pad both set to 20px, making the actual width 260px.  260 + 740 = 1000.  Which means both divs are the exact number of pixels to remain next to one another as floats inside of #box2.

#side {
        margin: 0;
        padding-top: 16px;
        padding-left: 20px;
        padding-right: 20px;
        padding-bottom: 30px;
        width:220px;
        float: right;
}

The #footer clears the floats from #content and #side, allowing the background in #box to tile behind all of the content on the page.  The last of the sidebar content is displayed in the footer of this layout, look for another tutorial in the near future on horizontal footers.

#footer {
	width:1000px;
	margin: 0;
	padding: 0;
	clear: both;
}

Evangelion at it’s heart is a series about humanity.  It explores the question of what it is to be human, why we choose to survive, and whether or not all the pain and suffering of being an individual is worth it.

The television anime starts off in an age of innocence.  Big fighting robots fighting aliens that are coming 15 years after a massive disaster that only a handful of people know the truth of.  The purpose of this being the genesis of the series was to mirror our own collective state of self awareness.  The series slowly begins to deconstruct the concepts of what it means to be human, why we want to be alive, why we are afraid, why we love, and most importantly why we need one another.

Evangelion isn’t about big fighting robots and aliens.  This should NOT be a spoiler as in the very first few episodes we see that the Evangelion has a human appearing hand, and can activate on it’s own.  The Angels are called such for a reason, and the imagery and mythos of the series is more heavenly and godlike from the get go on purpose.

So if you like big fighting robots, and series drawn out of cool action sequences Evangelion might not be for you.  Both the Evangelion TV ending, the End of Evangelion movie ending, and most likely the Rebuild ending all devolve into nearly incomprehensible meaning of humanity mindfucks.

At age 15 this series gave me a primer in Fruedian psychology before I really knew who Freud was, or what the word psychology meant.  Fifteen years later I still feel stupid when I try and grasp the ending of the series (TV and movie versions).  Over fifteen years and forcing people in my life to sit through all 26 hours Evangelion’s insanity and beauty on at least four separate occasions I am still learning what the hell it all means.  My partner is also a long time fan of the series and the two of us have sat down and watched huge chunks of the series at least three times, and we are still learning.

This series is a must watch for anyone who gives a damn about theology, evolution, philosophy, and/or psychology.  This series is a must watch for anyone who loves science fiction.  Evangelion continues to influence modern day science fiction with season four of Fringe, Iron Man, and the Avengers being recent examples.

Thoughts on the Rebuild

The Evangelion Rebuild start off as an abbreviated remake of the original series.  However, by the last third of “You Cannot Advance” the plot deviations are substantial from the original television series.  The first movie is a great abbreviation of episodes 1-7 of the original series.  For a more gorgeous version of the animation, a higher quality dub, and skipping a few really boring scenes “You Are (Not) Alone” is not a bad way to start the Evangelion series.  The second movie begins to deviate from the original plot from the very beginning.  So if this is your first go through of the series and you want to experience the original environment of Evangelion I recommend not watching the rebuild past movie one prior to viewing the original series.  It is also safe to watch movie 1 and then episodes 8-26.

For me the Rebuilds skip past a lot of essential character development, and several angels that greatly deepen the Mythos of the series.  The approach to the characters and the series mythos feels more superficial in the movies.  This was necessary as the first 11.5 hours needing to be condensed down to four to give the series ample time to finally have a proper ending.

I still recommend watching the television version of the series.  It deepens the experience of the characters and gives a lot more background and insinuation regarding the series mythos.  While some characters and events are changed between the Rebuild and original version Evangelion is clearly the same series at heart, plot changes are made simply to quicken the pace, rather than to alter the story itself.

The Beginning of Massive Spoilers and Pondering on Evangelion’s Thesis

I can easily understand why there was a need for at least 3 endings of this series.

After knowing Evangelion’s endgame episodes 1-15 of the TV series can feel like a meandering wander to the end.  However, the pace mirrors our own individual journeys.  Starting where we all begin as teenagers just beginning to realize our own autonomy, to injured adults, and then if we choose self-aware adults who know and choose their own suffering.  This is precisely why the original series will always have a  place.  With its painful minutes of still frame, the ongoing frustration with Shingi’s endless screamings of “I mustn’t run away”.  All of this is a slow descent into the madness, ending in a sense of meaning and identity.  This is something the Rebuild will never be able to truly offer of its own accord.

What the slow descent of the original series did not allow for was ample time to explore the third impact, and(depending on interpretation and version) human instrumentality.  This is why the movies, original and rebuild,  have a purpose in the telling of the thesis.

Third Impact

The third impact is an amazing concept, with so many interesting dimensions.  At it’s heart it’s man attempting to recreate itself in God’s image.  The whole series is man attempting to become God.  From removing Lilith’s soul from her body and placing her into a human, to cloning the bodies of Gods and powering them with mentally unstable teenagers.  The third impact initially is a fight between Adam’s children and Lilith’s children.  Adam‘s angels are trying to recreate earth in Adam‘s image by initiating Third Impact.  When the Angels fail, and humanity realizes it has complete control over all the components of God the series becomes a war over potential philosophies and outcomes regarding the evolution of the human race.

The third impact itself has so many potential points of genesis, and so many potential outcomes that it is a hard story to tell.  I do however like both versions told by the original series and “End of Evangelion“.  Shinji under the guidance of his mother turned Goddess deciding whether or not he (and therefore we) should join as one entity, or remain individuals.  The idea that Unit 1 starts as the parts of the God that created humanity, to gaining the entire soul of a human, to gaining the last remaining piece that it needs to become an independent entity, while being guided and protecting the offspring of its human soul is such a powerful vehicle to explore these essential questions of humanity.

The movies take a sharp turn right into the third impact before the second movie is even over.  So much of what led up to the third impact in “End of Evangelion” has gone undone, and I don’t know how it is all going to turn out in the Rebuild though I am exited that we have up to 4 hours to tell the story.  Not having Leliel (the Zebra ball) to absorb Unit 1 and go through Shinji’s and Yui‘s mental process of reawakening, as well as not having Shinji absorbed into Unit 1 along with Zeruel’s S2 engine leaves me with a lot of questions as to how the Rebuild will approach the Third Impact.

Third Impact is initiated by Unit 1 with a cloned body of Lilith merging with the soul of Lilith while in the presence of a human soul along with the body and soul of her son.  “End of Evangelion” begins Third Impact with Rei III(with Lilith’s soul) absorbing Adam’s body and soul into herself, then merging herself with the original body of Lilith.  The tree of life is channeled through Unit 1 along with Shinji and Yui, while being held by the Adam derived Evangelion production series.

Gendo Ikari’s character in the Rebuild hints to purposely speeding up the timeline to prevent Seele’s version of the Third Impact.  However, in the series Gendo planned to merge directly with Lilith’s soul, Lilith and Adam.  All this hints to a potentially new environment of the Third Impact.  However, I trust Hideaki Anno to leave Shinji Ikari in charge of the fate of humanity no matter how the Third Impact starts.

Based on previews movie 3 appears to start with Kaworu coming to earth in Unit 6 and halting the beginning of the Third Impact by impaling Unit 1′s head with the Lance of Longinus.  So it would appear the genesis of the Third Impact is a false start, and is meant to tutor the viewer into knowing what the third impact looks like so we know when it happens later on.

A Few Words for Critics of the Ending(s)

Do you have a brain?  Episodes 25 and 26 are clearly titled “The Human Instrumentality Project“  which is clearly where the series was headed, it is mentioned multiple times and it was loudly announced in the series that Kaworu is the last Angel.  If Shinji and Yui‘s experience inside Leliel’s sea of Dirac, or Shinji’s full absorption into Unit 1 while defeating Zeruel wasn’t an indicator to you as to where the series was headed, I guess I can’t help you.

The first part of “End of Evangelion” is simply what was happening outside of Shinji’s mind.  Though really it is what is happening inside of his mind that really matters, which is why we still spend a lot of time in his head throughout the “End of Evangelion”.  What I loved about Human Instrumentality was that it left so much of the outcome open to interpretation.  Once we get into “End of Evangelion” we get tied to all of the Lilith/Adam mythos, and are forced to pick a fork in the road.

In “End of Evangelion” is more about the questions the series poses, versus the outcomes of the individual characters. Hideaki Anno has stated that this was his intention for the series, and wished for viewers to interpret as they will.  I think it’s great to have a series that leaves you with more questions, than it gives answers. The endings of Evangelion mirror the stories of our own lives, each journey gives us answers, and then gives us many more questions.

Congratulations!

I want to thank EvaGeeks for their incredible, easy to use, and thorough wiki.  EvaGeeks makes a great companion for decoding this incredible series.

There is a memory that comes back to me at least once a week.  I was nineteen and inpatient at one of the most “renound” psychiatric hospitals in the country.  I was a mess, about ready to drop out of college for the second year in a row.  I had sliced my body to ribbons, was terrified of going to sleep, and spent most of my time trying to figure out the best way to die.

This was my second admission in said hospital in less than two months.  It was late in the evening, and this admission was spotted with psychology interns from the local hospital.  I was sitting at a table in the day room trying to pass the time, and not think about whether or not I was going to be able to sleep that night.  So I tried making small talk with one of these interns.  She had curly red hair, freckles, and squinty eyes.  She was at most a few years older than me.

I asked her, “So you’re studying psychology?” to which she provided a strained, “Yes”.  I proceeded to ask her some questions about her program.  She gave me as little information as she could.  Though she told me she hoped to become a therapist.  I realized the conversation wasn’t going very well, but for whatever reason I proudly blurted out, “You know I’m studying psychology too, and am going to be a therapist!”

She laughed, and said, “That’s nice.”  At the time it was crushing, one of the worst things anyone had ever said to me (honestly it is still one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me).  Even though at the time I was fucking lying about wanting to be a therapist.  I loved psychology, and wanted a doctorate in research, but deep down I knew I could be a therapist if I wanted to be.

So a few times a week driving home from work I think, “Who’s laughing now bitch?”

Several of my trauma clients have said they wanted to become helping professionals.  I support them, and nurture them.  One time a vocational specialist from another agency made a snide remark about one of them stating their goal was to become a case manager.  I don’t remember what I said, but I remember resisting my desire to slap her.  I remember my words being so forceful that she ended up back inches from the wall and looking like I had hit her with all I had.  I did hit her, with words.

Another one of my clients is likely to be starting her BA program within two years.

She is one of those women who has scared me, tested me, and taught me more than she will ever know.  She is the client ever closest trauma survivor therapist dreads.  From the moment I met her I knew she was me.  She’s even around my age.

Within several months of working with her she asked the two questions every young therapist dreads.  How old are you? And do you really understand what I am going through?

Both questions are double-edged swords. Age places me in the context of her own development, and she knows immediately I know too much and not enough.  Whether or not I really understand opens the door for her comparing herself to me.

I stumbled my way through my first version of the “Stuff” monologue that answers question number two.  “What I you want to know is if I’ve been through stuff, and if I get the whole concept of getting stuff. The answer is yes.  Though my stuff is different than your stuff because we’re all different.  I can’t get into my stuff with you, because our relationship is about your stuff.  I can’t open the door for you to compare me and my stuff, to you and yours.  What matters is if you think I have the ability to understand.”

The far less graceful version of that soliloquy was accepted gratefully.  Though I knew from that moment she knew exactly what I was.

A few months ago as I was helping her accept herself through dropping some courses we got to talking about self injury.  I started talking about the work of one of my therapy mentors (who is adamantly not a trauma survivor).  Midsentence she started jumping up and down,  “I knew you were a cutter, I know it, I can hear it in your voice.”

We had a talk then, I told her the words I was saying came from someone who had never cut before, that I knew this for fact.  I told her she had a right to her belief, though I could not confirm nor deny it.  Though it was important to know that people who for certain had not been there could still understand her.  She said, “Yeah, I know, but you used to cut.”

The other day we were talking about her career aspirations, she asked if it was an issue to have been in the hospital and work in one.  I said with a bit too much of a smile that it was definitely not a problem.

I had an extra laugh, and fuck you moment for that intern on my ride home.

As women we’re often made to feel like our periods are expected to be an inconvenience, and all women have cramps and pain.  When the pain and problems impact you’re ability to function, it’s not ok, and should never be viewed as normal.  Any healthcare professional who tells y0u otherwise, is insane and shouldn’t be allowed to practice.  At some point I need to talk more about what I went through, I think more women need to hear that it is not ok to be in that kind of pain.  Though right now I’ve got a whole lot else to say.

Nothing quite makes you stare yourself in the face and identify who you are, where you’ve been, and where you need to be like being in that sort of living hell.  Unless you’re me, who needs an additional kick in the ass.  For that I credit my partner, he is there for me in the way that so many others should have been.  Over the past few weeks he has been helping me recognize where I need to be.  My work has also played a role in honoring who I’ve been, and who I have become.

Though I’m left with the question: What of me belongs here?

Since I started this site I have held back a lot.  I have become a sanitized version of me.  I’ve written some nice articles about stuff.  I think I need to say more about me.  Perhaps if I wrote (and cared) more about my own story the past few months of this site would have passed by with more than a few blips on the radar.

It’s all kind of hilarious inside my head.  Did you know I found my voice on the internet?  Did you know the more I find my voice in the real world the more I hide and censor myself online?

It’s gotta stop.

In less than an hour there is going to be another post that starts to change all that.

I’m going to leave this crazy mess as is, to be testimony to the promise that I am going to start acting like myself, and using this space for all I wanted it to be.

Now the Macbook is completely off the market which is a blessing due to the terrible case issues.  However, now the intro computer is the Macbook air which has limited HD space due to requiring a solid state drive.

The cost of a new basic Mac laptop has been the same since I’ve been buying them.  The spec structure has also been about the same.  The 17in pro version of the machine has always had a processor, hard drive, and ram about double the speed of the 13in version.  In 2-3 years the stats of the most expensive new mac will be the stats of the basic version.

My current Macbook pro was released in 2010, it has a 2.8 dual core processor and 4gb of ram, with a 500gb hard drive.  My machine is still faster than the intro 13in Macbook pro, and is close to equal in stats as the upgraded 2.8 GHz dual core processor Macbook pro.  It’s almost like my computer was made in the future and is just now catching up to present day.

The 2008 15in Macbook pro has similar stats, sporting a 2.4ghz dual core processor, 200gb hard drive, 2gb of ram with the ability to upgrade to 4gb.  The machine can be bought used for around $600.  For $200 it can be upgraded to be just shy of my current machine, that’s $800 for a used Macbook with comparable stats to a new $1200 Macbook with a smaller screen.  The graphics card and the ram speed will be a bit slower, though likely the difference is negligible compared to the price tag.

To spell this all out, I’ll make a little chart!

Other than a loss in the ram speed, and probably a small loss in graphic processing, these machines can be made pretty much equal, with vast differences in cost. The risk is ensuring that a used mac purchased outside the Apple Kingdom is in good working order. The upgrades are not difficult to do with a touch of hardware savvy, and aren’t necessary right away.

The USB, Airport, and DVD specs have remained virtually the same since 2007.  There have been advances and upgrades in Firewire technology, though I have yet to make use of my mini super Firewire port, and instead have needed to spend $80 on a converter cable.  Since 2006 Mac OS and processors have been intel based with no signs of a major shift occurring anytime soon.

Most legitimate sellers of used Macs provide a 30 day dead on arrival policy.  That’s enough time to inspect the machine, check the display, battery life, and initial health of the battery and other components.  With a bit of research, and some online tutorials on replacing internal components it is possible to get a used machine with virtually the same stats for about half the price of a new Macbook.

References and Links:

• Apple Store Macbook Pro
• Mid 2010 17in Macbook Pro 2.8Ghz specs
• 2008 15in Macbook Pro 2.4Ghz specs
• Tutorial on Replacing Ram in late 2008 Macbook Pro
• Tutorial on Replacing Hard drive on early 2008 Macbook Pro

We have two terribly mischievous cats.  When they aren’t destroying antique furniture, sleeping on our clothes, or chillin’ in the bath tub they are good little hunters.

I used to know when I had a mouse because Toxico would just be staring at the radiator in my old apartment.  My friends would come over and wonder what was wrong with my cat, and I just knew she was onto something.

So when her and Harlequin developed an obsession with our stove, we knew something was up.

As vegans this is a tough one.  We can’t stop the cats.  Once Mike was actually able to save the mouse from becoming Harlequin’s new cat toy.  Though usually we’re late to the party.  Once I came home and Harlequin and is new friend were inseparable.  I chased him all around the house with his new buddy in his teeth.

We are lucky that at least they don’t seem to recognize that the mice are edible, and they always leave them out for us, dead but not mutilated.

So with our stove mouse we knew it was just a matter of time, one day we would find the little bugger laid out on the kitchen tile, with a confused cat nearby wondering why the toy stopped being so much fun.

A few Sundays ago the cats were at full attention in the kitchen, and I was cleaning up the living room.  I had been looking through my vegan cookbooks for new inspiration, after finally taking the time to tackle some of the Post Punk Vegan recipes.

Harlequin in particular loves to use books and shoes as scratching posts, usually when his nuts kick in the testosterone and he gets that sudden whoosh of confidence.

So I was pissed off to find “Eat, Drink, and Be Vegan” all scratched and bent up, claw marks through the cover page and all sorts of screwed up.  The book wouldn’t shut right it was so mangled, so I go to smooth the pages out -

“It’s in the book!” I scream throwing the book across the room.

“It’s in the book! It’s in the book!” I keep screaming, louder now, and then that wave of shock hits me and it was more like, “AHHHHEHHHINWAHHHBOOO”.

At this point Mike had pretty much figured it out, but still had to ask me, “What’s in the book?”

“AHHHHH THE MOUSE EWWWW AHHH”.

Marking some vegan delicacy that nether of us bothered to check was a squished up mousey.

We figure that Harlequin caught it, played with it, and then wandered off.  The mouse limped off and decided the vegan cookbook was a good hiding place.  Then Harlequin realized where is new friend was.

It was quite the evening.

Harlequin is also a creepy cat, he has been coming up and cuddling me the entire time I’ve been writing this, it’s like he knows.

On the plus side I’ve gotten way back into kink, enough so that I’m planning to restart the kink blog.  So there has been a lot of mental sorting as to how all this is going to work, since I don’t want this blog to go away, and I’m not planning on spending every spare moment typing blog posts.

How it’s likely going to pan out is that some posts will be cross posted here.  This blog is probably going to mostly become a web geek blog, as people have really been enjoying my posts on css, php, and html.  I also really enjoy writing about that stuff.

There’s probably going to be a bit more radio silence here as I get the other site up and running.  Though likely as I go through re-designing that page I’ll have some new tutorials to post.

Thanks to everyone who has continued to check in, and I’ll be back and posting actual content at some point in the not too distant future.