The Explicited Scribbles

2008-10-07T23:45:00.002+08:00

Waking up to the memories of the times that we both had.
Moments like these grow older as each day comes to its end.
For always, days will pass, one day at a time.
Soon after, december, will slowly pass us by.

Till then I'll be here,
Cuz time stands still...

...When the day turns to night,
and your stars light the darkest skies.
Everything will be alright,
cuz the moment will come when I know I once wasn't on my own

2008-10-05T02:01:00.002+08:00

Now seriously, who would want a friend who calls you 'one of their best friends' yet puts a fake front cause all they really care about is themselves. You know if insulting and mocking people makes you feel like you have a life, then it really goes to show how shallow your life really is.

It's strange how everything came round one whole circle. The circle of course being the period of a year. Everything that is gold does not last. Things come to an end. The bridge has been burnt and I won't bother to help rebuild it. I'm better off on my own.

13th August

2008-08-13T00:59:00.007+08:00

The vicious 10:30 alarm from my handphone inconveniently rings me out of a beautiful sleep, ushering the late morning light through the slit in between my eye lids, alarm still ringing as annoyingly as ever. Here I am, getting up to start a new day, which only means one thing - the deadline for Project 3 (furniture project) getting a day closer. Okay maybe I should not have phrased it like that, as I'm not overly anxious in doubt whether or not the prototype can be completed on time. Not because I'm presenting arrogance but rather, I choose to focus on a thinking that provides positivity. In fact, each passing day so far has been a testament to the progress made the day before.

It's a wonder how we can work ever so fast with the aid of an oncoming deadline. Those in creative faculties would understand this term of speak. So here it is, Project 3, the last project before the Final Year Project. Don't know bout you, but I've learnt a lot. More than I ever thought I would. So here's to the days remaining before this monstrous yet enjoyable task reaches its completion. Hey afterall, we will never be able to experience the studio environment again. You know, the encouraging peers, the whole atmosphere of everyone pushing onward together, knowing we are all in this together. After all that's said and done, everyone has come out stronger, and more importantly, together. So savour this experince while it lasts. It'll never be the same again.

Psalms

2008-07-02T21:47:00.005+08:00

Here's a chapter that got me best describes what I'm going through.

Psalms 37
1 Do not fret because of evil man or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil. 9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land. 10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found. 11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.

This chapter has helped me bounce back straight away from all the negativity that had consumed me. I especially like verse 10. Thinking about it, it's so true. Once you're able to conquer the negative things said by those who wish to see fall, you'll be able to block out all the abuse thrown at you, to the point that it was as if those nay-slayers weren't even in the same room as you. That way you've cleared them out of the land and inherited it, not allowing it to rob you of your platform. Amen.

21st Jun 08

2008-06-21T16:30:00.004+08:00

Hello again there faithful readers or rather, due to my irresponsible lack of posts, whoever chances upon this entry, to another weekend of sloth. Yes, a Saturday could not be better described than this, a lazy afternoon spent lying on my bed, ipod plugged in to my hi-fi playing This American Life, as the fan churns out gusts of cool air for my tired body. After the busy two weeks of assignment deadlines and tests for my Japanese class, I'm here at this stage, in the off season of the school calendar. Or at least for the weekend. But whatever it is. little golden moments similar to a moment like this is in fact the only time I actually write, or blog, whatever you call it.

So to make up for the long blogging hiatus that would be sure to ensue, here's something you can do during your free time that would help the fight against poverty. The website freerice.com allows you to help donate rice via the UN Food Program. All you need to do is play the vocabulary game and for every correct answer, you'll be donating 20 grains of rice, paid for by sponsors. It'll take less than a minute without any hassle to feed at least one person who's suffering from poverty. Try it out, I stopped at 600 grains.

27th Apr 08

2008-04-27T10:22:00.003+08:00

Awaking form my slumber with the morning sun shining gently through the panels, warming the white paint on the brick wall that laid adjacent to the lower bunk where I laid after a well deserved rest. A welcoming start to the last day of a relaxing weekend. My 5th week in Mexico.

Though my stay here isn't really that of a sweet story, at times being unpleasant and maybe even torturous as I drag myself through the monotony of the week, this was certainly one of the more pleasant moment. In a foreign country where they speak a language not of my understanding, the weekends are more a less a bracket of time to enjoy the non-material side of a simple life. A rare chance to escape from the eventful schedule of the life back home.

Three weeks more to go, and I'm writing this not just because, though it crossed my mind, I felt that need for at least one decent entry during my stay here but rather, thinking about it, for chance to capture this chapter of my life so that say 10 years down, I will look back and have at least a slight reminiscent of my 2 months here.

Which would be interesting, thinking about the future Kenneth and addressing him in this humble writing, for I wouldn't know what he might become, or what he might not. I wouldn't worry too much though, the future would take care of itself. For now, I'm satisfied with this little retreat to my lower bunk, where I lie awake staring at the metal rods exposing the fabric of the mattress above. Somehow, life feels good.

22 April

2008-04-23T01:46:00.002+08:00

My 5th week here in the state of Morelos and I thought I could do with an update. I've just finished my lunch break and am going to continue on the project I've been working on for Air Design's sub brand of household products. I've been going through the motions more a less as it is, with each Monday hoping to get to Friday quickly, just cause of the monotony of the work days.

There isn't really much to do in this small town of Tezouyca, leaving me with just the weekends to take a bumpy 45 min bus ride to the town of Cuernavaca. Haven't really went around to shop for stuff yet, which probably wouldn't go down so well with those who want me to get stuff for them, but seriously, there isn't much stuff worth buying that I've seen so far.

So, yeah I'm going to go back to doing the 3D model of the bin cover I'm working on. Cheers.

Week 1-2

2008-04-07T22:39:00.000+08:00

4th April 08

2008-04-04T23:45:00.003+08:00

It's now 9.46 am here in Mexico and I'm in the middle of work. Now working on a project that sees me developing a paper bin and an office trash can. It's for this sub brand of Air Design. I'm happy that I'm doing household products instead of some car bumper. I feel household products allow you to go into a deeper level of thought, one that sees you designing closer to people and their environment.

Yesterday's work was refreshing compared to the other days. Check out the portfolio of this guy, Christian Lorenz Scheurer. Some really detailed and inspiring concept art. christianlorenzscheurer.com I'll upload a vid or something next week I think. Need the weekend to edit and everything. Oh and I haven't got my pay yet.

2 Months In a Foreign Land

2008-03-25T03:23:00.006+08:00

The last time I travelled courtesy of my school was with my fingers still stained with spray paint and putty, mind still fatigued from the exhausting demand of Project 1. That was back June 07, on a 6 hr flight to Osaka. This would be about a total of 19 hours in the air and thankfully with the welcomed luxury of 5 days to recuperate after Project 2.

I have been travelling a lot, especially recently. But this time it feels strange. I'm not nervous or overly excited, or least not as much as I expected myself to be. And maybe that is cause I don't know what to expect. Mexico has always been this distant reality where my closet encounter with anything to do with that land on the other side of the world was the images on travel channel, and probably tacos. So to Cunervaca (I don't even know if I'm spelling it right) I go, for when the sun rises, I'll be somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, putting ink on a fresh page as I trot on to this new and exciting chapter. Cheers!

Sweet December

2008-02-01T23:30:00.003+08:00

The worst has come, it's gone away
I'll live to see you another day
Those times were times I could not see,
The beautiful life I lead.

The year passed by you'll leave too soon,
Would it hurt if I missed you?
The night stretches as I remember days of light

Times never shared, would it be worth looking back?
My sweet december, fades as it grows further away

I would walk this beaten road,
Here without you I would do this alone
I wouldn't die without knowing you were there
For me when I fell, here's to moments never shared.

Mp3 Link

Death by media

2008-01-18T19:51:00.000+08:00

Here are two narratives I did for my Consumer Lifestyle Research class. It's based on ethnographic research that my group and I did, on the topic 'The Perfect Body'.

The perfect body is a complex topic, with opinions on the what defines it varying from each individual to another. The media has a huge influence on society and society gets sucked into the hype that the media creates. This nonsense as we can call it slowly creeps into our oblivious minds, consuming us slowly towards being trapped inside this glass box, where we think we have freedom yet are enslaved but invisible boundaries.

The idea of skinny for the perfect body is sucking in more and more people daily, as this vicious cycle of torturing one’s self for the sake of image continues. Yet I feel not like this slave, for it’s what I want to do and it’s who I want to become. And it makes me feel good.

________

Chained to these shackles, I wake up. Bounded by my lack of confidence, I start my day. Society has its eyes pierced to this glass box I’m trapped in. From dieting to taking my pills, clocking in some exercise and immersing my susceptible self to the nonsense of the media, it has become a routine. A routine that allows me to break free from this bond, to possess the perfect body.

After months, I walk free. I’ve reached my goal. But this routine I’m out of feels too native for me to let go. So here I am shackled once again. Free but trapped.

Christmas 2007

2007-12-25T03:54:00.000+08:00

A blessed and merry Christmas to all!

This Christmas for me has been one of the more meaningful and enjoyable ones. So yeah, thankful for all the people in my life that add colour to this otherwise monochromatic world. Cheers!

Life

2007-12-20T23:43:00.001+08:00

Please take my hand with me tonight,
this dream will slowly pass us by.
The sun would shine upon us soon,
I'm glad I shared this time with you.

It feels so near yet faraway,
time will catch up as this fades.
Last night would be one I'll remember
through the days

Cause nights I'd rather die, are far behind me now.
To which dear you had a part to play.

Life seems so obvious, and I'll stay through to this
I've learnt to live and let go
As this new chapter carries on
To become one of the best
moments that I have had
in such a long time.
I can now say there's peace inside

I'll be right with you till the end,
I'll never let you fall back down.
Dear, you turned into one of my best friends
through this time

2007-12-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

Alcohol never hit me as hard as last night. It was a strange experience, not decent but not awful. Thanks for the night mighty mouse, enjoyed the company.

Another Turning Point

2007-12-14T00:43:00.000+08:00

Life moves on. I'm still learning how to move along. Nothing last forever here.

And yeah, having someone by my side will be good.

28th Nov

2007-11-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

One fine point of doing work (design related) is the huge sense of exhilaration you get, derived from the aesthetic nature of the end product. Spending the whole day tweaking camera angles and setting frames for this product animation module turned out (surprisingly) not to be a drag. The deliverance one gets watching 20 secs of the product moving as the camera pans across screen, after a full hour of tweaking and moaning in agony trying to troubleshoot, is actually quite phenomenal.

Kudos to decent company who make the computer lab a much more lively environment for one to work in; not to mention the support and help that is generously spread throughout the 4 walls. Too much of work can drive one insane though. So... Or rather, but, I'll just have to go through the motions for just one more day and the whole of December shall be vacant for whatever of life I need. Suddenly I feel buoyant once again. Hmmm.

27th Nov

2007-11-27T13:57:00.000+08:00

The mind is a powerful tool. What you think, can control how you feel and the way your body behaves. Why is it that I can just switch over to a depressive state just like that? Once something negative, like paranoia, envy and fear clouds my mind, I fall into this cold dark abyss. I've lost my appetite now, just when it was so good last week.

Getting emotionally attached with something or someone is dangerous. So one would try and keep some distance. But is that trying to avoid how you really feel? Like trying to cheat yourself of your real feelings. Which then brings me to, what is love? Which leads to am I loved? And honestly does anyone actually care? Which eventually comes to I wish I could just die cause really no one cares anyway. And if no one cares then what's the point of living, cause it's the people in your life that make up your life.

Basing your emotions and feelings on people would end up in a let down. And it's strange how people need people, yet if someone bases their self on someone, it ends up with unfavourable outcomes.

Right. I think I'll go to school now and do work instead of being cooped up here at home, where my mind seems to wonder off to places that would only be destructive. There was a time where I said that I'm at my best when I'm alone. And now it's just the opposite. Why? Maybe I'll try to figure that out some other time.

21 Nov

2007-11-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

Life is good.
The perfect balance. Well, maybe. We'll see.

The Last Wish

2007-11-21T00:01:00.001+08:00

The night stays young as the day gets older
My heart is lost in search for affection
As this script rewrites itself
From the times that I felt...

...that this world could be this better place
where I'll just fit in
And start each day with a life of reason
You came and gave all that to me
Though you'll never believe it.

As I take a walk,
from the days that were much brighter
It all seems to end so fast, too fast
For me to look back on the..

...Times we both had, moments we never shared
How did it end so fast, why did it end like that?
You're the one last wish I wish that I could have

As I close my eyes praying that you will appear
Right by my side with me as I lay here
The ending seems so near today
With the light still far away

I would try my best to be all that you wanted
Though I know it's not me whom you would be with
With the last calls lights I'll say my goodbyes
With my heart bounded inside

22 October

2007-10-22T19:02:00.000+08:00

The past weeks were not good at all. I went to the state of deep depression more than once. And last week, I felt that way for the entire week. It was real bad. There were just so many things on my mind. And so many things I tried to figure out. It's scary how powerful the mind can be, what's worst is when your let your emotions take over. I'd be lying if I said emotions don't get the better of me. They do, and almost all the time. And why haven't I learnt. Guess I was too caught up.

I guess now I'll learn and watch as the world moves on. Whoever comes by comes by and I'll take it in my stride. My face has lost it's smile. The time has comed where I'll turn my back and walk my way, away from it all. Sucks that where I want to walk away from is the place I'll be, and as much as I'll hate it, I will have to face it.

Thank God for people who care. I guess I'll need to open my eyes to that, instead of being trapped inside the thick fog of illusion. The sound of rain never sounded this good. So, here it goes, the first proper song in a long time.

Touched by an angel here tonight,
Held my hand up as tears came to my eyes.
Breath of comfort caresses me,
Hold your head high, I'll be here by your side.

They're times it'll be so hard to walk away.

I'll say my prayers tonight and everything wil be alright.
The world moves on, but I will choose to be left behind.
The last call lights are flashing.
Behind this mask, you'll never see the good that's left in me.

The reason of life

2007-10-07T20:56:00.000+08:00

Ah, the sweet pain of dying never felt this good.
The peace, serenity of the four walls that surround me.
I always knew that I will die alone.

So thanks for the memories however empty they may be.
It's something I'll feed off as I go to sleep.
Tomorrow I will awake, or maybe not.
Now I know that there's nothing I've got.

Thank God there's a better place after death.
Now death seems the most attractive option.
I should take it right?
Or no, I'll just wait to die.

Yes. Death - the only reason I live.

6th October

2007-10-06T16:19:00.000+08:00

Ah, finally the weekend. Three words to describe the week - hectic, hectic, hectic. Having a presentation is bad enough, but two on the same day, one after another just makes it even worse. Especially since the two presentations are each on totally different topics. In the morning I'll have to give a presentation on my thesis statment for ComDA, and later at noon I'll have a mock interview and a portfolio presentation.

Muji Cardboard Speakers

2007-09-28T02:27:00.000+08:00

This is a hack of a clever idea for portable speakers, from Muji. In a world where consumer electronics often bring the headache of wires and clutter, this one brings a refreshing change. Fold the speakers up when you need them, and fold them away when you're not using them.

25th September

2007-09-25T02:00:00.000+08:00

A clever bag design by Demelza Hill, which opens up into a picnic mat. Now there's one less thing to remember to bring along when going to the beach or park.