expressyourselftosuccess.com

Top 10 Ways to Improve Communication Within the Team

Lynn Ferguson — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:34:17 +0000

Effective communication is such an important part of successful teams. When team members effectively communicate, they are well equipped to work through any team challenge or opportunity that comes their way. There is no one-size-fits-all for how to communicate optimally with each individual but the basics of effective communication will put you on the right [...]

Good Communication Skills: Speak to be Understood

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:37:05 +0000

You may think that you’re speaking clearly and it’s easy to follow what you’re saying, but expressing yourself effectively isn’t as easy as we sometimes assume. Like any skill, it can take some practice and thought. Follow some of the points below to make sure your listeners won’t have difficulty understanding what you’re saying. 1. Know [...]

Thinking on Your Feet

Robert Britt — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:42:34 +0000

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to blurt out an answer in a hurry and either the wrong thing came out or nothing came out at all? It’s a situation we have all been in at one time or another in our lives. How do you remedy that situation? Quick Think Training. [...]

How to Influence Group Members to Work Well Together

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 13:04:55 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/MichaelDeLeon Projects which are assigned to groups benefit from the variety of personalities and perspectives of its members. These personalities and perspectives, however, also bring with them challenges as we try to work productively together. The group route to success is both exciting and bumpy. A technique to establish a successful working group is to approach the [...]

Leadership Communication During Uncertain Times

Debra Hamilton — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:27:30 +0000

Change is all around us. Effective leadership communication during times of change creates stability and trust. Leaders at all levels must communicate change and share information as soon as possible. Here are tips for a communication-rich culture. 1. Communicate change as soon as possible. People do not want to hear about a merger or acquisition through the [...]

Making Space Guidelines for Respecting Personal Space

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:10:14 +0000

At work, at home and in our social circles, we carry with us a sense of our own personal space that we often unconsciously protect. Respecting another’s personal space is key in maintaining good interpersonal relationships. Probably the most readily thought-of personal space is that which physically, although invisibly, surrounds us. You’ve probably felt what [...]

Good Tips on Poor Listening

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:55:48 +0000

There’s a lot on the internet on the importance of listening, active listening, effective listening, and how to be a good listener. But there’s very little instruction on how to be a poor listener. So many people listen poorly that one can assume that it must be important. In light of this assumption, I’ve outlined [...]

How Words Add Fuel to the Fire

Anne Warfield — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 00:51:56 +0000

Do You Ask Or Dictate? There is definitely a certain finesse to doing things that either magnetically pulls people to you or repels them away. So why do some people tick you off with the way they handle things and others don’t offend you at all? Is it the intent behind the words? Is it the [...]

Three Steps to Resolve Your Complaints

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 01:24:49 +0000

We all complain. Sometimes, our complaints are legitimate and we voice them because we want to draw attention to a situation which we’d like to improve. Complaining can also be therapeutic when we need to vent and get something off our chest. Other times, however, they’re reactive, idle rants that go on and on over [...]

Taking No for an Answer

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 01:46:02 +0000

Have you ever been invited to a party and didn’t want to go but you also didn’t feel comfortable simply saying ‘no’? So instead of going you made up an excuse to get out of it? And you tried to be a bit creative so it sounded as if it was true - like you’re [...]

Are You an Annoying Coworker?

Ken Okel — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 00:33:02 +0000

I came across this as I was browsing through a bunch of interesting articles and I thought it gave some good advice. ~Laurie Multiple workplace studies have found that one of the biggest reasons why people leave their jobs is that a coworker has annoyed them out of the workplace. Now with the economy being in [...]

Five Ways to Make Others Feel Included

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:41:36 +0000

To one degree or another, we all want to be accepted. We’re social beings and we like feeling that we’re part of the group, we enjoy being recognized and acknowledged and we desire to have a meaningful sense of belonging. These make us feel good, valued and respected. If we want to feel this way, [...]

What are we going to do?

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 01:41:07 +0000

One of my friends sent me the link to this video. While I had seen it before (and posted it) I still think it’s great so after having another good laugh at it, I wanted to put it up again. This is probably one of my favourite videos because it reminds me so much of [...]

Body Language Communicates

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 23:28:25 +0000

Last week, I was walking through a mall and passed a table where some volunteers were raising money for charity. As one mother and her young son passed by the table, the boy spotted some toy cars that were part of the display. Naturally, he shook loose from his mother’s grip and zoomed over to [...]

I’m Not Yelling

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 30 May 2009 13:26:55 +0000

I heard a snippet of a conversation as I walked by a guy talking on his cell phone. At first, I didn’t hear what he was saying, but I could pick up from how he sounded that it was probably one of those “difficult” conversations with someone he knows well. By the time I passed [...]

Making Assumptions

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:05:42 +0000

We all make assumptions. I think they’re part of our survival mechanisms. We have so much coming at us on a daily basis that making assumptions is part of our mental filtering system that protects us from information overload. They also serve us by helping us make decisions and understand new situations more quickly. There [...]

The Importance of Greeting Others in the First 90-Seconds

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:52:29 +0000

Have you ever been greeted by someone who didn’t even look at you? Or when they asked, “How are you?” it was obvious that they really didn’t care how you answered? It probably didn’t do much to make you feel good, welcomed or that it even mattered you were there. On the other hand, have you [...]

Don’t Take It Personally

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 21 May 2009 11:57:12 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/winterling I know - easier said than done, right? It’s taken me years to really understand what “don’t take it personally” means and how to do it. I used to think that I should just ignore the comments, criticisms or “well-meaning” opinions; that I should turn a blind eye, the other cheek, or let them go [...]

Awareness Test

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 18 May 2009 17:47:44 +0000

I’ve always believed that I’m observant. I usually know who’s doing what or who likes this and dislikes that. Or I thought I did. I saw this a while ago and can’t believe I got it wrong. So much for being observant. How well did you do?

The Strength of Kindness

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:17:08 +0000

This morning, I read a blog post by Roger at A Content Life. I knew it was going to be another good post just from the title, Beware of False Kindness. He made me think some more about what is kindness. There are two things I know for sure about kindness. 1. Kindness is not weak. 2. [...]

You’re Amazing

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 08 May 2009 12:03:55 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/shironosov I’ve been trying out a new way to approach everybody, from my friends and acquaintances to people I don’t know like cashiers, wait staff, and receptionists. I’m assuming from the get-go that everyone is amazing. That’s the starting point: amazing. With everyone I meet, I’ve been presuming the best in them - that they’re [...]

Self-Expression: Is it OK?

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:13:57 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/pcatalin We may not always remember this, but we all have the opportunity to choose how we express our feelings. The consequences of our expressions are no big deal when we’re feeling good. At those times, we’re often smiling, ready to laugh, kidding around, and happy. The way we express ourselves becomes an issue when we’re [...]

An Important Interpersonal Skill

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:19:01 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/ZoneCreative “So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastating effect.” ~~ Eleanor Roosevelt I’ve been thinking a lot lately [...]

What We Do Behind Closed Doors: Black Button

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 19:26:49 +0000

I watched this video months ago and it stuck with me. Not because of the storyline about the temptation to have a lot of money or material things, but because of what we’re sometimes willing to do when we’re under the cover of anonymity and know we won’t (or think we won’t) be held accountable. [...]

Courtesy is a Daily Act, Not a Random Act

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:08:40 +0000

For whatever reasons, I’m hearing a lot about random acts of kindness. I think it’s fun, to be sneakily kind on the side, but it’s made me think (again) about where courtesy ends and random acts begin. I don’t think courtesy does end, but it doesn’t seem to be as ‘in’ as random acts of [...]

Thoughts Well Said

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 14:14:24 +0000

Suzie, my adorable little cat, curled up on a sofa cushion proclaiming what I’m sure are words of wisdom. These are a few of my favourite quotes from my collection on relationships. I hope there’s something here that will resonate with you. (By relationships, I’m referring to all the different types of relationships we have - with [...]

Here to Listen

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:34:23 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/realitybytes The other day, my friend was told some bad news. Really bad news. She wanted to talk to her friends about it. When she did, they listened to the story and commiserated by telling her theirs. But by sharing their stories, she didn’t get to talk about how she felt. She didn’t get to say that she’s [...]

Criticism and Feedback Aren’t the Same

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:40:39 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/RTimages Last week, I posted Do We Have to Say What’s On Our Minds? where I wrote what I do when I feel a criticism coming on. Sometimes, we mistakenly call criticism ‘feedback,’ but when we state only our observations based on personal judgments, or our opinions, or a list of what’s wrong, it’s not feedback - [...]

Saturday Short Film: Validation

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 02:00:44 +0000

I saw this video on Michael Scott’s site, Love to Spare. It’s a fun and entertaining film that may make you smile. Here’s how a few good compliments can make a difference in the lives of lots of people. Enjoy!

Do We Have to Say What’s on Our Minds?

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:37:26 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/biffspandex I admit it. Every now and again (and then some) my mind wanders into the realm of criticism. I tell myself this is natural and that I’m not the only one who does it. The problem comes when I have the urge to tell the ‘offender’ what’s on my mind. Sometimes it feels good to say [...]

Thoughts of Happiness

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 20:36:11 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/juanestey The other day, I listed various posts about happiness by other bloggers and I’d like to add my two-cents worth, but just focusing on how our thoughts can affect our happiness. Happiness is an inside job. It’s an emotional consequence to positive thoughts – when we think positive thoughts, we’ll have positive feelings and those [...]

Good Reads: Happiness

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:35:15 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/ayzek I read several posts recently and found a recurring theme that connected them: happiness. With regard to having good social skills, we can learn different ways and techniques to interact with those around us, but those who are genuinely happy will be more effective socially than those who aren’t. People want to be around happy [...]

Saturday Short Film: The Power of Mortality

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 12:33:54 +0000

Here’s a new video put out by Patrick Mathieu of the Power of Mortality. Enough Time? is meaningful, thought-provoking, and powerful. Take some time to check out his website too.

Good Reads

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:00:00 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Bart Sadowski Here are some blog posts I’ve come across over the past week that I found interesting and useful so I thought I’d share them with you. This is my latest online discovery. It’s a gem. Lee Ann Lambert’s Living Introverted is not just for the introverted, it’s a great resource for extroverts to better understand [...]

Me First

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:44:13 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/kickers Want to be around people who are friendly, helpful and respectful? It’s easy. Be friendly, helpful and respectful first and others will follow. I recently put this to the test when I was traveling by plane across the country. I’m not a big fan of flying, mostly because there are so many people in so small a [...]

Saturday Short Film: A Difficult Call

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 12:30:25 +0000

Here’s a short and funny film about … ah - just give it a go, it’s under two minutes long. Produced by Rachael Scalf

Laugh It Up

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 01:03:06 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Yuri Arcurs The most recent Express Yourself to Success survey asked: Does humour in the workplace interfere with productivity and effectiveness? Forty percent of respondents said “yes” – that humour does interfere with productively and effectiveness and sixty percent said “no, it doesn’t.” Also, two respondents left quite different comments: - “mental disturbance hampers the productivity” - “when it’s positive humour, [...]

Shake It

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:10:43 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/LiseGagne I’ve seen several articles here and there offering advice on how to shake hands and I’ve always thought they were ridiculous. I mean, everybody knows how to shake hands, right? Really, it’s so obvious. Well, I was wrong. On different occasions in the last week, I was introduced to two individuals who had really, really bad handshakes. [...]

Wrong Side of the Bed

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 15:34:21 +0000

Happy 2009! I hope your year goes like the guy’s on the left of this 1-minute film… Film overview: “Normality takes a turn on his head when Mr Average Joe suffers a very unlucky day when he gets up on the wrong side of the bed. Will he manage to get back on the right side of life [...]

What is Social Success?

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:02:23 +0000

It seems to me that we’re inundate with images of what it is to be popular and the centre of attention. Has that become our expectation? The desire to constantly be the centre of attention? To obtain celebrity stature in an “ordinary” person’s life? I’m not talking about having the paparazzi follow us everywhere, but there [...]

Saturday Short Film: The Job

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:57:39 +0000

I thought this was a creative spin that shows what others have had to live through - even when economic times aren’t as difficult as they are today. It also hints at other aspects of our society. ******************** WHAT DO YOU THINK? The EYS Question of the Week Does humour in the workplace interfere with productivity and effectiveness? Yes [...]

What Do You Do? EYS Question of the Week: December 5, 2008

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:02:04 +0000

©http://www.istockphoto.com/index.php/Rod MacPherson Last week’s question read: When you’re at a small social gathering or in a meeting and someone new comes into the room, are you more likely to take the first step and introduce yourself. wait for him to come up to you and introduce himself. wait for someone else to make the introduction. A whopping 73% said that they [...]

Five Easy Steps to Being Invisible

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 14:54:44 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/4×6 Here are a few ideas for those of you who want to avoid drawing attention to yourself and being noticed. If you find you’re already feeling invisible in social situations, chances are that you’ve probably mastered the following suggestions. 1. Ignore Everyone Around You Paying attention to others takes work and wastes time. It also seems [...]

Good Reads

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 01:47:38 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Bart Sadowski Here are some blog posts written by various people that I thought you may find interesting. Some are “old” and others are new-ish, but the content is relevant regardless of when they were written. Enjoy! Another little somethin’ by Daniel Goleman. “We often emphasize the importance of keeping cool in a crisis. But sometimes coolness [...]

…and another thing about smiling

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 11:56:04 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Izabela Habur Last week, I wrote a post called Why Smile? I have a couple other points I’d like to add: First, when I write about smiling, I don’t mean smile with some great big toothy show-off-your-expensive-dental-work, eye-popping grin so you look like a goof and makes people think you’re nuts. I mean to turn up the [...]

My Short Film

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:30:54 +0000

It’s easy to make assumptions about someone else and judge those around us. Here’s a reminder that what we see at first, isn’t always what is.

EYS What Do You Do? Survey: November 28, 2008

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:27:06 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Giorgio Fochesato Last week’s survey question read: Generally speaking, when you’re walking down the street, are you aware of the people around you or are you lost in your thoughts and on “automatic pilot”? The responses tied: 50% of readers are aware of the people around them and 50% are on automatic pilot. Being aware of the people around you Paying [...]

Gotta Reads

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:40:57 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Alex Slobodkin I spend hours every week surfing the web; I don’t know what I did before the internet. Sound familiar? I read a lot of good stuff and I’d like to share some of my favourites with you - in case you’ve missed it on your www travels. I’ve got two favourite introvert articles. These [...]

Get to Know Yourself

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:13:32 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/ranplett When you’re out mixing and mingling, it’s pretty likely that someone along the way will ask you questions about yourself. They’ll ask the standard, arms-length ones like “What do you do for a living?” “What are you after-work interests?” “Do you have kids?” “Where were you born?” You know the general questions I mean. They’re [...]

Saturday Short Film: Think Outside the Box

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 14:12:35 +0000

I know it’s the weekend, but here’s a little mental workout. ******************************************** WHAT DO YOU DO? Generally speaking, when you’re walking down the street, are you aware of the people around you or are you lost in your thoughts and on ‘automatic pilot’? Please take a second and click here to tell me what you do!

EYS “What Do You Do?” Survey

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 13:38:59 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Stefanie Timmermann Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer last week’s survey question, When you go to a social or networking event where you don’t know anyone, you… The breakdown of the responses are: “Slink in and stand beside a potted plant.” Good zero response here. Why go to an event to hide when you can [...]

Action Required

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:19:37 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Joseph C. Justice Jr. I met someone, let’s call her Helen, about a year ago who made me sit down and really think about interpersonal relationships. Although my experience with her was rather negative, I learned many lessons from watching her behaviour and interacting with her. This is one of the lessons that Helen taught [...]

Why Smile?

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 00:57:16 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/DSGpro “I’m sick of being told to smile and make eye contact. That’s what everyone says.” Even as I type this, I can still see him rolling his eyes. I hear comments like this about social skills from time to time. Every time, I agree - we are told this a lot. And there’s a very simply [...]

Kiwi!

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:11:51 +0000

Many of you have probably seen this short animated film by Dony Permedi, which he created as part of his Master’s Thesis Animation at The School of Visual Arts, MFA Computer Art, in New York City. It’s a touching film about a little Kiwi with a big dream. FYI - The Kiwi is a flightless, nocturnal bird [...]

Pay It Forward

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 23:21:38 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Alex Slobodkin Everyone reading this is probably familiar with the pay it forward concept: someone does a favour for another but instead of repaying the giver, the receiver does a favour for another person. The novel Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde, is a story about eleven year old Trevor who is given a project [...]

Leadership and Empathy

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:37:52 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Zlatko Kostic The Harvard Business Review recently published an article co-written by Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis, Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership. The one-line summary (as much as one line can summarize an eight-page article!) reads, “New studies of the brain show that leaders can improve group performance by understanding the biology of empathy.” Empathetic leaders? [...]

The Simple Act of Noticing

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 12:50:04 +0000

This is a March 2007 clip from TED featuring noted psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, who offers his insights into compassion. The clip is 13 minutes long and worth watching but if that sounds too long to you, here’s a veeeeerrry brief summary: Although we as humans are predisposed to helping others, [...]

It’s Better to Give than to Receive

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:33:04 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Andrejs Zemdega Really? Is it better to give than to receive? Aren’t they equally important? After all, no one can give something if there’s no one to receive it and no one can receive something that isn’t given. So aren’t they opposite sides of the same coin? You can’t have one without the other. I think the [...]

Employers Value Soft Skills

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 23:53:14 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Ben Blankenburg Many have the talent, but lack important attributes I came across an interesting career article in The Province, Employers Value Social Skills, which was written by Wendy Mclellan. It’s a report on Adi Rosin, a former CEO of a high-tech company, who was looking to hire engineers for the firm. He choose the best and brightest [...]

Helpful Habits

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:17:31 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Richard Foreman I read a story last week about Robert Ebert who attended the Toronto International Film Festival. He was at the screening of a film which contained subtitles but his view was blocked because of a man sitting in front of him. Ebert later wrote in his column in the Chicago Sun-Times, “In my medical condition [...]

Saturday Short Film: A Day In The Life Of An MC Escher Drawing

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 07:25:48 +0000

…I’ve nothing to say about this one - other than I thought it was a good idea and it made me laugh. I figure those are good enough reasons to post it. by Uphill Both Ways Sketch Comedy; http://www.uphillbothways.com/

Saturday Short Film: Best Day of My Life

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 21:53:16 +0000

The key to having good social skills is to be genuinely interested in another person and, to do so, requires that you to give your full attention. While this short film doesn’t deal directly with social skills, it does communicate how valuable giving your attention to another really is. It starts out slowly, but keep [...]

Social Skills Q & A: How to Remember Names

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:51:00 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Rod MacPherson Q: I find it really hard to remember names. When I’m introduced to someone, I hear their name and sometimes repeat it back like I’ve been taught, but two minutes later, I’ve already forgotten it or remember only part of it. Was it Julie, Julia, or Juliana? Then I feel badly asking their name [...]

Table Talk

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:20:53 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Andrew Johnson A few weeks ago, I attended a weekend conference for a charitable organization where I’m a volunteer. Most of the agenda comprised of working sessions and participants were requested to sit at round tables, six per group. As I looked around the room prior to the sessions starting, I noticed that many people at [...]

You’re Boring

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 01:11:58 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/4X6 Nobody likes to think they’re boring, yet it’s easy to get wrapped up talking about things that you find interesting but that other people don’t find as exciting. When speaking, discretely check in with the other person or the group to make sure they’re not bored and want to get away as soon as it’s [...]

Will Somebody Please Do Something?

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 13:38:59 +0000

This is a great video and it’s only one minute long. It reminds me of the challenges we face when working towards success. We can still be successful when our situation changes as long as we adapt to the new conditions, alter our plans, take different actions and keep moving forward. In this video, the [...]

Small Talk: 7 Don’ts and Do’s

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 21:07:52 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Claude Dagenais Being able to make small talk is a very handy social skill. While there are no concrete rules for it, there are guidelines that provide some guidance to get the conversation started and keep it rolling. Here’s a list of seven top don’ts and do’s when making small talk. 1. Don’t: Be interested only [...]

How Telling Jokes Can Improve Your Speaking Skills

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:50:06 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/digitalskillet It’s true. Telling jokes can help you become a better and more interesting speaker. Really. This is how it all began for me… I’ve never been a natural at telling a joke; I was always one of those people who would unintentionally, yet ruthlessly, massacre it. I’d start off strong and by the third sentence I had [...]

The Power of Words

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:06:39 +0000

Have you watched this yet? I discovered it only this morning and would like to share it with you. It’s a short film (about 5 minutes) by Alonso Alvarez Barreda. For me, it showed how we can all make a difference in the lives of others by freely share our talents and abilities…if only we stop for [...]

The Unexpected Benefits of Saying Thank You

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:46:07 +0000

©iStockphoto.com/Mustafa Ilker HELVACIOGLU I had a surprise waiting for me in my inbox this morning - I received a thank you email from an acquaintance. Here’s the story: I’m part of a group of volunteers that comes together twice a year to do a job that we’ve done for some time. We know the drill and enjoy [...]

Say No Series - Post III: The Rejected No

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:46:38 +0000

As mentioned in the previous post, saying ‘no’ is a social skill. While choosing to say ‘no’ isn’t a social skills issue but our choice, how we say ‘no’ and how we accept ‘no’ are social skills. Accepting ‘no’ respectfully and gracefully is a good social skill. This is the final post of a three [...]

Say No Series - Post II: The Making of No

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:31:59 +0000

Saying ‘no’ is a social skill. Whether or not we decide to say ‘no’ isn’t a social skills issue – that’s our choice. How we say ‘no’ is a social skill. If, after being asked to host next week’s club meeting, we exclaim, “What? Are you crazy?? You’ve got to be kidding if you think [...]

Say No Series

Laurie Wilhelm — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:21:00 +0000

Post I: What Happens When You Can’t Say No Over the past few years, I’ve been working on saying no. No. No. No. … Nope. …. Nuh-uh. … No-can-do. Sounds like it should be easy, but it wasn’t for me. I was addicted to yes. In this three post mini-series, I’ve outlined my journey to [...]

The Unsung Social Skill

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:25:13 +0000

Have you ever gone to a dinner party, BBQ, or a networking event where you didn’t really know anyone? Have you been the “new guy” at work and you went with the rest of your department to the surprise birthday party for someone you hadn’t even met yet? Sure, you kind of know some of [...]

Social Skills: The problem may not be you…

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 15:08:50 +0000

There are many people who want better relationships, more friends, and meaningful interactions with others. Often, they recognize that part of their problem is that their own communication and social skills aren’t very good. It’s true that if you lack various social skills then you’re most likely part of your problem. But let’s look at [...]

Even with good social skills, would someone want to be your friend?

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:33:46 +0000

Having good social skills will definitely help you make friends. Learning and practicing social skills are essential during the initial stages of meeting people and when building long-term friendships. Strong social skills will make you feel more comfortable in social situations by providing you with techniques such as how to make a good first impression, [...]

Social Skills: Get the Most Out of Your Practice Time

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:49:33 +0000

One common suggestion that is recommended for improving social skills is to practice. Practice meeting other people, going to social events, joining clubs, taking classes or practice being with different people in various situations. But practice what? Practice being in a crowded room and standing by yourself in the corner? Practice feeling awkward? Practice being nervous around [...]

Social Skills: More Makes You Better

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 02:01:55 +0000

The thing with social skills is that just having a couple won’t make you succeed socially. It’s a collection of skills, ranging from being able to introduce yourself and knowing what to say after “hello,” to non-verbal communication to giving feedback and a whole bunch of other skills in between. We find ourselves in many [...]

Five Tips to Help You Improve Your Social Skills

Laurie Wilhelm — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 22:36:56 +0000

There are many different social skills and the impact they have on other people varies. Acting on two or three “easy” skills isn’t enough. The best results are achieved when several skills are used in combination with one another. The expression “the total is greater than the sum of its parts” resonates loudly with respect [...]

Four Common Myths About Social Skills

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:52:35 +0000

Many people misunderstand what social skills are - and what they’re not. Here’s a quick look at a four common myths. Myth #1: People who like talking are interesting and have good social skills. False. Verbosity isn’t a social skill. In fact, it can damage one’s social popularity and result in avoidance by others. Such over-talkative individuals may [...]

Calling All Extroverts and Introverts

Laurie Wilhelm — Tue, 20 May 2008 14:01:47 +0000

Here’s a link to a terrific article, written by Jonathan Rauch, that was published in The Atlantic (www.theatlantic.com). It’s a must read for extroverts and introverts alike. Really. If there’s one thing you read today, read this: Caring for Your Introvert by Jonathan Rauch.

Three Steps to a Powerful Thank You

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:13:36 +0000

Everyone likes being appreciated - I know I do and I suspect most other people do also. We were taught - or “trained” - at a very young age to say “thank you” at the same time we were taught to say “please.” I still hear parents today asking their kids the same question my parents [...]

Making Small Talk Easy

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:28:35 +0000

Just the thought of small talk congers up painful memories of stilted conversations that revolved around the weather and umpteen other dreadfully boring topics. While small talk is engaging in non-personal conversation that is casual, light and “safe” – meaning that the topics are of general interest and are not offensive – it doesn’t have [...]

Five Steps to Giving Constructive Feedback

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 16:15:01 +0000

Giving feedback is one of the most important interpersonal skills for any manager. The purpose of constructive feedback is to provide information that will make improvements and create better results. For feedback to be useful, it has to be actionable, otherwise it’s likely that the situation or behaviour will recur. Whenever you’re giving feedback, keep [...]

Technique for Approaching Conflict Resolution

Laurie Wilhelm — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:37:57 +0000

Conflicts are a normal part of life. We interact with so many different people in so many different situations that we’re bound to run into difficulties. A conflict is a disagreement where those involved feel that they are somehow being threatened. It could be that they perceive a threat to their way of thinking, their interests, [...]

What Are Good Non-Verbal Social Skills?

Laurie Wilhelm — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 01:38:09 +0000

Good social skills are key to getting along with others and help us to connect with the people around us. They’re not about conforming, but having a healthy respect for others. There are many, many different elements to social skills and if you’re looking for an all-in-one, short-and-sweet, how-to lesson on social skills, you’re going [...]

Asking for Feedback

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:05:09 +0000

This was my question to my peer when I was requesting feedback from her: “I’ve attached the two ads that I spoke to you about when we met. If you have a moment, could you please take a look at both and give me your feedback?” This was her response: “I do not like either. The image looks [...]

Characteristics of Good Constructive Feedback

Laurie Wilhelm — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:03:55 +0000

We often confuse feedback with criticism - probably because much of our experience with it has had more to do with what we’ve done wrong than what we’ve done right or how we could do better. This is unfortunate. Feedback should not be viewed as a personal assault or a list of errors, mistakes, [...]

Ten Benefits to Maintaining Good Relationships

Laurie Wilhelm — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 00:31:17 +0000

Strong positive relationships are essential to achieving our success - whether they be work relationships, family relationships or relationships with others in our communities. We’re in almost constant contact with others and we should make every contact an opportunity to strengthen our social skills and reinforce our relationships. With that in mind, here are ten benefits [...]