When life hands you lemons, you make lemonade.

But when life hands you a 2-day-old baguette, a freshly opened bottle of Maker’s Mark and five delicious snowbound days, you make Bourbon Bread Pudding. With a warm, buttery bourbon sauce. And bourbon-soaked raisins.

It’s the sort of dessert you want to curl up around and savor while you watch the snow fall. Or read a book. Or watch “The Matrix” trilogy from start to finish in its entirety.

Traditionally, cooks made bread pudding to use up stale bread, but if you don’t have a geriatric baguette handy, you can tear the bread and toast it in the oven. You want the bread to be dry so that it can fully soak in the custard, a magical concoction made up of common ingredients – egg yolks, brown sugar, heavy cream, whole milk, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt and bourbon.

Once the pudding is baked, with a liberal sprinkling of cinnamon and sugar and yes-yes sweet butter on top, it’s like a hug in a bowl. Soft and warm and wonderfully familiar. But add the bourbon sauce, and it’s more like a grope.

So, what are you waiting for? Add the bourbon sauce.

New Orleans Bourbon Bread Pudding with Bourbon Sauce

Adapted from “Cook’s Country”

Serves 8 to 10

• 1 (18- to 20-inch) French baguette, torn into 1-inch pieces (10 cups)
• 1 cup raisins
• 3/4 cup bourbon, divided
• 6 tablespoons unsalted butter, cubed and chilled, plus extra for dish
• 8 large egg yolks
• 1 1/2 cups packed light brown sugar
• 3 cups heavy cream
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon, divided
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
• Bourbon Sauce (recipe follows)

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Butter 13 by 9-inch baking dish, and set aside.

2. Arrange the bread in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake until crisp and brown, about 12 minutes, turning pieces over halfway through and rotating the baking sheet front to back. Let bread cool. Reduce oven temperature to 300 degrees F.

3. Meanwhile, heat raisins and 1/2 cup bourbon in a small saucepan over medium-high heat until bourbon begins to simmer, 2 to 3 minutes. Strain the mixture, placing the bourbon and raisins in separate bowls.

4. In a large bowl, whisk yolks, brown sugar, cream, milk, vanilla, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Whisk in remaining 1/4 cup bourbon plus the bourbon used to plump the raisins. Toss in the toasted bread until evenly coated. Let mixture sit until bread begins to absorb custard, about 30 minutes, tossing occasionally. If the majority of the bread is still hard when squeezed, soak for another 15 to 20 minutes.

5. Pour half the bread mixture into the prepared baking dish, and sprinkle with half the raisins. Repeat with the remaining bread mixture and raisins. Cover the dish with foil, and bake for 45 minutes.

6. Meanwhile, mix granulated sugar and remaining 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon in a small bowl. Using your fingers, pinch 6 tablespoons butter into sugar mixture until the crumbs are the size of small peas. Remove foil from pudding, sprinkle with butter mixture, and bake, uncovered, until custard is just set, 20 to 25 minutes. Increase oven temperature to 450 degrees F and bake until top of pudding forms golden crust, about 2 minutes.

7. Let the pudding cool on a wire rack for 30 minutes (or up to 2 hours). Serve alone or with Bourbon Sauce.

Bourbon Sauce

Makes about 1 cup

• 1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
• 1/4 cup bourbon, divided
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• Pinch salt
• 2 teaspoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces

1. In a small bowl, whisk cornstarch and 2 tablespoons bourbon until well combined.

2. Using a small saucepan over medium heat, heat the cream and sugar until the sugar dissolves. Whisk in cornstarch mixture, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, and cook until sauce thickens, 3 to 5 minutes.

3. Take the pan off the heat, and stir in salt, butter and the remaining 2 tablespoons bourbon.

4. Drizzle warm sauce over bread pudding. Or ice cream. Or directly into your mouth.

(Storage: Sauce can keep for up to 5 days if refrigerated in an airtight container.)

Here in Nashville, there’s a certain low-frequency buzz. And if you’re quiet and listen very hard, you’ll hear the sounds that make up that buzz – the electronic bleeps of grocery cash registers ringing up hot chocolate and popcorn, the rumble of salt trucks and the fervently whispered prayers of thousands of kids (and their teachers) – because, OMG, SNOW IS IN THE FORECAST.

Four inches. This Friday.

To many of you, that’s nothing. A dusting. A joke. But here? Any accumulation is cause for celebration. And an excellent excuse for making a chocolate chip cookie bigger than your head. Something fun to bake, break and nibble while you watch the big flakes fall.

You start with a batch of chocolate chip cookie dough. (The one given has slightly less butter and egg than most.) Then, instead of dropping tablespoons of the dough onto baking sheets, you press all of the cookie dough into the bottom of a 10-inch ovenproof skillet and bake it for about 45 minutes.

Once the cookie has cooled, you’ll be able to invert it onto a plate or cutting board, and divide it into rich, cakey, chocolate-filled wedges. Just don’t forget the milk or a serious scoop of vanilla ice cream. And maybe some caramel sauce.

And remember, it’s not the size of the snow. It’s how much fun you have with your flakes.

Here’s to the Blizzard of 2010!

Snow-Day Skillet Cookie

Adapted from “Martha Stewart Living” (July 2002)

Serves 8

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups mixed milk and semisweet chocolate chips (about 9 ounces)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

3. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter and sugars until the mixture is light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.

4. Add egg and vanilla, mixing until they are fully incorporated.

5. Add flour mixture, and beat until just combined.

6. Stir in chocolate chips.

7. Transfer dough to a 10-inch ovenproof skillet, and press to flatten, covering the bottom of the pan. Bake until the edges are brown and top is golden, 40 to 45 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool, 15 to 20 minutes. Cut into 8 wedges. Serve each with a scoop of ice cream or a large glass of milk.

Back in the days of my Bachelor Girl apartment, I read one of those “step outside your box!” articles and decided to give “sleep naked!” a try. My bedroom was three floors over the parking lot, so there was no reason to break out my giant martini glass and work up a Burlesque routine. Nope. I just shimmied out of my clothes, hopped into bed and waited to greet the morning.

Only the morning greeted me first.

I woke up to a row of construction workers standing on the roof of the building across from mine, looking down through my blinds at my naked-naked self.

However, I still believe that trying new things is always a win-win situation. If all goes well, you’ve added something new to your repertoire. And if something goes awry, you’ve got a great story. Either way, you become an even more fascinating person. So, here’s a new experience for you: making panna cotta.

It’s the most amazing stuff. A cold Italian dessert that’s rich, creamy and luscious. Perfect for when you want just a few bites of something sweet, especially after a heavy meal. And it’s as easy to make as pudding from a box.

“Panna cotta” literally means “cooked cream,” and you start the recipe by simmering half-and-half and sugar in a large saucepan until it reaches a boil. Then, stir in a tablespoon of dissolved gelatin and vanilla, ladle the mixture into ramekins or wine glasses, and let it chill until it sets. The finished texture will probably remind you of a slightly firm pudding or a loose creme brulee (minus the egg yolks, water bath and torch).

The panna cotta will be infused with vanilla flavor, which makes it the ideal companion for something more adventurous. Here, you’ll find a recipe for a simple blackberry sauce, but you could also pair your panna cotta with mixed berries, hot fudge or caramel sauce, strawberries soaked in balsamic vinegar and pepper, blood oranges – almost any fresh fruit, compote, jam, syrup, sauce or preserve.

If you’re feeling especially experimental, replace the vanilla in the panna cotta recipe with two teaspoons of something you love. Orange blossom honey. Almond extract. Maybe a liqueur, like Frangelico or Grand Marnier. Citrus juice and a little zest for color. Lemon verbena or matcha.

Have fun experimenting! And if you decide to cook naked, always check the rooftops.

Panna Cotta with Blackberry Sauce

Adapted from Catherine Newman (“O Magazine,”July 2008)

Serves 8

• 1 envelope unflavored gelatin (about 1 tablespoon)
• 3 cups half-and-half (or whole milk or heavy cream)
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Sauce:

• 2 cups fresh or frozen blackberries (or cherries) , plus more for garnish (optional)
• 2/3 cup sugar

1. Sprinkle gelatin over 2 tablespoons cold water in a small saucepan; let stand a minute to soften. Heat on low, stirring, until gelatin dissolves, about 1 minute. Remove from heat.

2. In a large saucepan, bring half-and-half and 1/3 cup sugar just to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring. Remove from heat; stir in gelatin (it may need to be scraped off pan with a spatula) and vanilla. Ladle into 8 (1/2-cup) ramekins (lightly oiled or greased with nonstick spray) or glasses; cool to room temperature. Cover and chill at least 4 hours or overnight.

3. To make the fruit sauce: In a small saucepan over medium-low heat cook the berries and 2/3 cup sugar, stirring occasionally, until berries release their liquid and begin to break down, about 20 minutes. Puree the mixture in a blender, strain, and chill for 1 hour.

4. Serve panna cotta in ramekins or on plates: To loosen, dip each ramekin in a bowl of hot water for 3 or 4 seconds, run a knife around the edges, then invert onto a plate. Spoon fruit sauce on top and garnish with extra berries (if using).

Some things just inspire curiosity. The Apple Tablet. Lady Gaga. Jamie Oliver’s Red Grape Pizza.

I saw this recipe on Jamie’s website and just kept coming back to it. Mini-pizzas brushed with rosemary and olive oil and topped with blistered (but still juicy) red grapes, a drizzle of honey and some bite, courtesy of a liberal amount of shaved Pecorino. The sort of fruit-and-herb combination you won’t find at Domino’s, no matter what they say about that new formula.

The flavors are complex, but the recipe is simple and ripe for variations. Add a few walnuts or pine nuts for a little crunch. Maybe some shallots to take things more savory. Replace the Pecorino with goat cheese, feta or blue cheese. You could even ditch the honey and trade the grapes for cherry tomatoes. I won’t tell Jamie.

Red Grape Pizza with Honey, Rosemary and Pecorino

Adapted from Jamie Oliver via JamieOliver.com

Serves 4

• 1 recipe pizza crust (homemade or store-bought)
• 2-3 sprigs of fresh rosemary
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 large handfuls red grapes, halved and seeded
• 4 teaspoons honey (1 for each mini pizza)
• 1/2 cup Pecorino

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

2. Prepare your dough, place it in a bowl greased with a little olive oil, cover, and leave it in a warm place for 15 minutes to 1 hour (until it doubles).

3. Meanwhile, bash the rosemary in a mortar and pestle, add olive oil, and bash again.

4. Divide the dough into 4 pieces. Knead each one briefly, and shape them into 4 small pizza crusts. Place them on a baking sheet.

5. Brush the pizzas with the rosemary and olive oil mixture. Scatter with the halved grapes. Drizzle each pizza with a teaspoon of honey, and shave some Pecorino over the top.

6. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes, until the crusts are cooked and the cheese is melted.

When it comes to dips, I’m an equal opportunity glutton. Warm spinach and artichoke? Yes. Ro-Tel® Queso? Can’t pass it up. French onion? Give us some privacy.

But every once in a while, you find a dip that transcends the genre, and for me, that’s Seven Layer Dip. Black beans, sour cream (or Greek yogurt), chunky guacamole, fresh salsa, scallions, cheese and cilantro. It’s like a bean burrito in a bowl. And by that, I mean it’s like Heaven.

I’m in love with this version, because it takes only a few minor tweaks to make it a little fresher and healthier than most. You can go with black beans and/or pintos for the bean layer instead of the usual canned refried beans. Replace the full-fat sour cream with light sour cream or Greek yogurt, and stir the cheese into it to thicken it and disguise the change in flavor. Sneaky, yes?

And you can make your own guacamole instead of buying the packaged stuff. Who needs the preservatives and the stale flavor when you can mash together a perfectly respectable guacamole in short order with just avocado, a squeeze of lime juice and a pinch of kosher salt?

This is a great party dip, so to keep the layers from getting “muddy,” don’t worry about pureeing the beans. You can slightly mash them with a fork or just keep them whole, and then you won’t have to worry about that unsightly brown bean smear making its way through your layers.

However, if you’re making your own private stash, you’re going to love how versatile this dip is. You can:

• Use it as a meatless filling for tacos or burritos.
• Pile it onto tortilla chips and shredded lettuce for a quick taco salad.
• Spread it onto a prebaked crust to make a meatless Mexican pizza.
• Serve it as a side with fajitas or enchiladas.
• Layer it over a warm plate of nachos. (Love that whole hot/cold thing.)
• Spoon it alongside a cheese omelet to jazz up your breakfast.

Ah, the joys of practical recycling. Especially when that recycling involves guacamole.

Seven Layer Dip

Rebecca Crump (EzraPoundCake.com)

Adapted from “Cook’s Country.”

Layer 1:

• 2 16-ounce cans black beans (or 1 can black beans and 1 can pintos), drained
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• Pinch of salt

Layer 2:

• 1 cup light sour cream (or Greek yogurt)
• 2 cups freshly grated cheese (preferably pepper jack or Cheddar)

Layer 3: Guacamole

• 2 avocados, halved, seeded and peeled
• Juice of 1/2 lime
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• Pinch of kosher salt
• 1/4 cup diced red onion
• 1 tomato, cored, seeded and diced

Layer 4: Simple Salsa

• 3 large tomatoes, cored, seeded and diced
• 2 jalapeños, seeded and minced
• 1 to 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

Layer 5:

• 6 scallions, thinly sliced

Layer 6:

• Up to 1/4 cup grated cheese (pepper jack or Cheddar)

Layer 7:

• Chopped fresh cilantro

1. Layer One: Combine the beans, chili powder and salt in a small bowl. Mash lightly with a fork, if you like. Transfer the beans to an 8-inch square dish or glass bowl of a similar size.

2. Layer Two: In a small bowl, stir together the sour cream and cheese. Spread the mixture evenly over the bean layer.

3. Layer Three: Mash avocados, lime juice, garlic and salt. Stir in the red onion and tomatoes. Taste and adjust the seasonings. Spread the guacamole over the sour cream mixture.

4. Layer Four: In a medium bowl, combine the tomatoes, jalapeños and fresh cilantro. Layer the salsa over the guacamole.

5. Layer Five: Sprinkle scallions over the salsa.

6.Layer Six: Top the scallions with the cheese of your choice.

7. Layer Seven: Add as much cilantro confetti as you like.

8. Serve at room temperature with tortilla chips and carrot and celery sticks.

Do you remember in “Steel Magnolias” when Shelby (Julia Roberts) says, “I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special”?

That’s how I feel about dessert.

After spending this week trying healthier options, I can honestly say I’d rather have a spoonful of Banana Pudding than a metric ton of Quinoa Fruit Pudding.

Banana Pudding doesn’t get much respect, but it is the tiramisu of the South. Both are made with cookies, custard and a strong flavor element. Both are made by layering those components.

And yet, you never see a recipe like “Not Yo Mama’s Tiramisu.”

I guess Banana Pudding is just more vulnerable to trashiness. You can find an instant and/or processed form of every ingredient, except the bananas. And I’m sure scientists are cloistered underground working furiously on “Banana in a Can” right now.

But every once in a while, you come across a new Banana Pudding recipe that uses real ingredients and gives the old recipe a twist. Take the Lee Brothers’ recipe for Banana Pudding Parfaits. Layers of banana puree, vanilla custard, crushed gingersnaps and rum-flavored whipped cream.

Gingersnaps! Sure, you could still use vanilla wafers, but the crunch and zing of the snaps are worth a try.

I also like that you store the components separately in the fridge until you’re ready to serve them. No mushy cookies, no discolored banana slices, no leaky layers. Every parfait is cold and fresh and portion-controlled. You can’t just reach into the fridge, grab a casserole dish full of pudding, and mindlessly eat it for breakfast. Or lunch.

Oh, and if banana puree isn’t your thing, you could add freshly chopped bananas as you need them for each parfait or substitute them with something completely different. Maybe pineapple and toasted coconut for a piña colada-inspired pudding. Mango. Orange segments.

Just no quinoa.

Banana Pudding Parfaits

Adapted from Matt Lee and Ted Lee’s “The Lee Bros. Simple Fresh Southern”

Makes 6

Banana Layer:

• 2 pounds ripe bananas (about 5 large bananas), peeled and chopped
• 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Custard Layer:

• 3 cups whole milk
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 3 large eggs
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch

Rum-Flavored Whipped Cream:

• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1 to 2 tablespoons confectioner’s sugar
• 2 tablespoons premium-quality dark rum, like Mount Gay or Myers’s

• 3/4 cup crushed gingersnaps (approximately 8 cookies)

1. For the Banana Layer: Using a food processor, combine all of the ingredients in the banana layer, and pulse until the mixture is a smooth puree. Press plastic wrap on the surface of the puree, and set it aside in the fridge. (It will keep for 24 hours.)

2. For the Custard Layer: Heat the milk and vanilla in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until it begins to steam. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs, sugar and cornstarch. Whisking constantly, pour the warm milk into the egg mixture in a thin stream. Return the mixture to the saucepan, and cook over medium heat, stirring slowly until the custard is thick and making large bubbles, about 4 minutes. Transfer the custard to a bowl; let it cool to room temperature. Refrigerate the custard, covered, until it is well chilled, about 30 minutes. (This would be a good time to slip your mixing bowl into the freezer to prepare for making the whipped cream.)

3. To Serve: When you are ready to serve the dessert, whip the cream with the sugar and rum until it forms stiff peaks. Layer the custard, banana puree and cookie crumbles in parfait glasses until the glasses are two-thirds full. Finish with a generous dollop of whipped cream.

It’s been cold and gray for days on end here, and that has me craving vegetables. Not sensible wintry root vegetables but bold, bright, summery, grows-in-the-sun vegetables. Sunshine-get-in-mah-belleh vegetables. Red peppers and zucchini and summer squash. Vegetables that are notta so hotta right now.

Unless you roast them.

Roasting these out-of-season vegetables intensifies their flavors, bringing the best out of even the puniest squash. Just slice and cube your favorites until they fill a half baking sheet, and toss them with olive oil, garlic and seasonings. Ahhhh.

But then what do you do with all that goodness?

You can …

•Use them to fill an omelet.

•Toss them with couscous and feta.

•Pile them on top of a big bowl of grits.

•Mix them with your spaghetti.

•Scatter them on top of a pizza.

•Use them to jazz up a veggie side, like these French String Beans.

•Spoon them over a twice-baked potato.

•Make quesadillas! Or some badass fajitas.

Or, you can try this Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables. Combine the vegetables with cooked pasta, cheese, thawed peas, seasonings and your favorite marinara. Pour the mixture into a 9-by-13-inch baking dish, sprinkle a little extra cheese on top, and bake it for about 25 minutes. You’ll get a baked pasta with the warmth of a winter comfort food but the flavors of summer.

It’ll have you humming “Here Comes The Sun” in no time.

“Sun, sun, sun, here it comes …”

Baked Penne with Roasted Vegetables

Adapted from Giada De Laurentiis (“Everyday Italian,” Food Network)

Makes 6 large servings

• 1 to 2 red peppers, cored and cut into 1-inch wide strips
• 2 zucchini, quartered lengthwise and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 2 summer squash, quartered lengthwise and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 4 to 8 ounces mushrooms, sliced
• 1 yellow onion, peeled and sliced into 1-inch strips
• 3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 teaspoon salt, divided
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided
• 1 tablespoon dried Italian herb mix or herbs de Provence
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
• 1 pound penne pasta (I used the Barilla Whole Grain Penne.)
• 3 cups really good marinara sauce
• 1 cup grated fontina cheese (can be replaced with Gruyere or Gouda, or just use more mozzarella)
• 1/2 cup grated smoked mozzarella
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan (plus 1/3 cup for topping)
• 1 1/2 cups frozen peas, thawed
• 2 tablespoons butter, cut into small pieces (optional)

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

2. On a baking sheet, toss the peppers, zucchini, squash, mushrooms, and onions with olive oil, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon pepper and dried herbs. Roast until tender, about 15 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook for about 6 minutes. Drain.

4. Transfer the pasta to a large bowl. Add the roasted vegetables, marinara sauce, cheeses, peas, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Using a wooden spoon, gently mix, until all the pasta is coated with the sauce and the ingredients are combined.

4. Pour the pasta into a greased 9 by 13-inch pan. Top with the remaining 1/3 cup Parmesan and butter pieces. After the pasta has been in the oven for 10 minutes, turn the temperature down to 375 degrees F. Bake until top is golden and cheese melts, about 25 minutes.

This popcorn will set your soul on fire.

That’s a good thing if you’re like me, and you like to crunch mass quantities of things when you are a.) anxious, b.) stressed, c.) frustrated or d.) home with the sniffles, watching the all-day Elvis movie marathon on TMC. You can’t eat a ton of this popcorn without gulping several glasses of water (or, even better, a glass of milk), since it’s tossed with a searing mix of spices: chili powder, cumin, paprika, cayenne, salt and pepper. A few pieces are pleasantly tingly. A few handfuls will turn your mouth into a blazing inferno.

If super-spicy isn’t your style, you can still experiment with other spice mixes to add loads of flavor to your popcorn. Replace the chili powder and cumin with garlic and onion powders for a Cajun corn. Take out the hot stuff, and add Italian seasonings and a little Parmesan for an Italian version. Try wasabi powder. Curry. Pumpkin pie spice. Your choices are only limited by your imagination. And if you draw a blank, there’s always butter.

P.S. Here’s a clip of Elvis’ ‘68 comeback special. Today’s his 75th birthday, so put on your best white cotton panties, throw a few random karate kicks, and enjoy the hawtness of The King.

Spicy Southwestern Popcorn

Adapted from The Moosewood Collective’s “Moosewood Restaurant New Classics”

Makes 2 quarts

• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 1/2 cup popcorn kernels

Spice Mix:

• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 to 2 teaspoons ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne, or more to taste
• 1/2 teaspoon salt, or more to taste

1. Using a 6-quart heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven, heat the oil and a few kernels over medium heat. When the kernels pop, add the remaining popcorn. Cover with the lid slightly ajar to let out steam.

2. When the kernels start popping, shake the pot until the popping almost stops. Remove from the heat, and let the final kernels finish popping before you remove the lid. Transfer popcorn to a large bowl. Set aside.

3. In a small bowl, combine the spices. Shake them over the popcorn, and toss thoroughly. Adjust the seasonings to taste.

So, you’ve managed to eat this and not that, your willpower is at its zenith, and you’re starting to think maybe Jillian Michaels should be calling you for tips. THAT’S when it strikes. A chocolate craving so intense you start feeling around in the cabinets for loose chocolate chips. You debate the merits of just making a pan of brownies and snorting them with a straw.

OK, deep cleansing breaths. You are not comic-strip Cathy. (ACK!!) At least, that’s what I told myself last night when I was ready to trade my car for a peanut butter cup. Seriously.

I was flipping through my cookbooks, looking for SOMETHING that might tame the beast without leaving me with an entire batch of cookies, candy or cake lying around. And that’s when I stumbled on this Chocolate Orange Fondue.

Oh, yes.

You don’t need a fondue pot. Just grab your favorite small saucepan, and bring a half-cup of cream (or half-and-half) and some orange peel to a boil. Take it off the heat, cover it, and let it steep for 30 minutes, so the cream gets infused with orange flavor. Then, reheat the cream to a simmer, and pour it over a few handfuls of milk chocolate chips. Yesss. Wait for 30 seconds, and then grab a whisk and make some magic. A rich, deep, dark, satiny-smooth cup of orange-infused chocolate ganache.

Wanna swank it up? Add a tablespoon of Grand Marnier.

And then, forage, my friend! Gather an assortment of healthy, delicious foods begging to be dipped or drizzled in chocolaty goodness. Sliced apples? Yes! Pears? Yes! Bananas, orange segments, pineapple chunks, cherries, berries and figs? Oh, yeah.

The fruits will help fill you up and keep you from just tipping up the ganache and throwing it back. If you have a chocolate goatee, you’ve gone too far! But seriously, if portion control is an issue, just put a spoonful or two on your plate, or drizzle the chocolate on your fruit instead of dipping it. The flavor is so intense, you won’t need much quantity.

Now, look at you. You stunning inspiration! You beacon of hope! This is your year to get fit and take names.

I’M LOOKING AT YOU, COMIC-STRIP CATHY. ACK!!

Chocolate Orange Fondue

Adapted from John Scharffenberger and Robert Steinberg’s “Essence of Chocolate”

Makes about 1 cup; serves 4

• 1/2 cup heavy cream (or half-and-half)
• 3 strips orange peel
• 7 ounces milk chocolate, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon Grand Marnier or other orange liqueur (optional)
• For dipping: orange segments, apple slices, banana slices, cherries, berries, figs, marshmallows

1. In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, bring the cream and orange peel to a boil. Remove from the heat, cover, and let stand for 30 minutes. Remove the orange peel.

2. Place the chocolate in a medium bowl.

3. Reheat the cream until simmering. Pour the cream over the chocolate, and let stand for 30 seconds, then whisk gently until the mixture is very smooth. Whisk in the Grand Marnier, if using.  Serve warm with a variety of magnificent dipping ingredients.

Hello, you magnificent example of humanity! Did you have a spectacular New Year’s? Join the Polar Bear Club? Make any resolutions?

I know, lots of people don’t “believe” in resolutions. But what if – instead of swearing to lose this and quit that and organize everything – what if we resolve to do something fun? Plan our own film festivals. Master the chopsticks. Learn how to mix a monthly cocktail (or bake a pie). Take a weekly self-portrait. Fill a piñata with strange and wonderful things, and give it to a friend. Spring for concert tickets. Plan a road trip. Check out a new restaurant once a month. Go skinny-dipping. Keep the party going until everyone gets hungry for breakfast. Make out at the drive-in. Open an Etsy shop. Surprise the kids with our own killah Nerf guns, and show no mercy. Start planning our “Jersey Shore” Halloween costumes. Figure out what to do with agave nectar.

You get the idea. You’re perfect the way you are, so resolve to do something that actually gets you excited about the big, juicy year ahead. Oh, and learn how to make risotto. It scares people, but all it requires is a little patience. Think of adding each ladleful of vegetable stock to the risotto the same way you would add juice to a toddler’s sippy-cup. Wait until the rice has almost absorbed each small amount of stock before you add more to the pot, and keep stirring. Gently. And don’t stop until your name’s on a blimp! Go, 2010!

Mushroom, Leek and Lemon Risotto

Adapted from Linda Fraser’s “The Vegetarian Kitchen”

Serves 4

• 5 cups vegetable stock
• 8 ounces trimmed leeks
• 8 ounces (2-3 cups) mushrooms
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 3 garlic cloves, crushed
• 6 tablespoons butter
• 1 large onion, roughly chopped
• 12 ounces (1 3/4 cups) risotto rice
• Zest of 1 lemon
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
• 2 ounces (2/3 cup) freshly grated Parmesan
• 4 tablespoons mixed chopped fresh chives and flat-leaf parsley
• Salt and freshly ground pepper
• Garnishes: lemon wedges and parsley

1. Pour the vegetable stock into a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Bring it to a simmer.

2. Meanwhile, wash the leeks. Slice them in half lengthwise, and chop them roughly. Chop the mushroom. Set aside.

3. Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the garlic, and cook for 1 minute. Add leeks, mushrooms, salt and pepper; cook for about 10 minutes, or until softened and browned. Transfer the vegetables to a plate or bowl.

4. Return the saucepan to medium heat, and add 1 ounce of butter. As soon as it melts, add the onion and cook for 5 minutes, until soft and golden.

5. Stir in the rice, and cook for about 1 minute, until the grains begin to look translucent and are covered in butter. Add a ladleful of stock to the pan, and cook gently, stirring occasionally, until the liquid has been absorbed.

6. Continue to add stock, a ladleful at a time, until all the stock has been absorbed. This should take about 25-30 minutes. The risotto will turn thick and creamy, and the rice should be tender but not sticky.

7. Just before serving, stir in the leeks, mushrooms, remaining butter, lemon zest and juice. Add half the grated Parmesan and herbs. Adjust the seasoning and serve, sprinkled with the remaining Parmesan and herbs. Garnish with lemon wedges and parsley.