You know what else I would do? I’d try on swimsuit cover-ups in a darkened dressing room so you don’t realize yours is actually see-through until you’ve been parading around your hotel all day and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize, THIS COVER-UP IS NOT COVERING ANYTHING UP.

Sigh. Sometimes I make some seriously nut-job decisions.

Having said all that and coupled with the additional fact Heather contracted some virus, which burst her eardrum (right before we got on the plane, nonetheless), we had a fantastic time. As Chris said, wherever we went was just a background for catching up. Which we did for three days straight (Heather powered through her laryngitis because we obviously had very important things to talk about like why the hell won’t Kim Kardashian finally give in and start wearing on maternity clothes already?!?!). We slept in until we woke up, ate dinner at a leisurely pace, and enjoyed the sun. In short, we had a blast.

In fact, I’d say the most stressful part (outside of Heather’s illness and the worry I’d get called onto stage during Zumanity, Cirque du Soleil’s “sensual” show, which was a very real fear because people were getting naked and I’m in no sort of shape for those hijinks) was figuring out what I was going to wear to the pool. I’ve avoided maternity swimsuits because they’re all kind of, ahem, maternity-esque, but Jill convinced me it was preferable to my sitting by the pool in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, which is what my cheap, San Francisco self was contemplating.

In fact, once I got going, I decided on a whole look (of course, I did) that hopefully said, yes, my drink is virgin, but I still know how to rock an accessory. Maybe not a cover-up, but that’s a different story.

1. If you’ve seen me anytime in the last month, you’ve seen this dress from Old Navy because a. maxis don’t fall down like pants do and b. I’m not buying any more damn clothes // 2. Jaunty fedora from Urban Outfitters // 3. Sweet shoulder length earrings from Bella Boutique // 4. Yes, that’s a maternity swimsuit (pretty cute, right?) 5. Don’t worry, you can wear these sandals even when you’re not building a human

Chris was such a trooper he actually ATE the taco meat, although there wasn’t much sour cream left by the time he was done (very reminiscent of the time I cooked spaghetti for my family when I was about eight and everyone had to gag down noodles that I’d boiled for almost an hour. Longer = better, right?).

And I’d love to tell you this was an isolated incident, but I have a whole list. Oh, you want me to share it with you to make you feel better about your far superior brain power? Here you go and, keep in mind, these are only the events I remember. Dude, we’re in trouble.

DUMB THINGS I’VE DONE WHILE PREGNANT:

Things I’ve thrown away: a brand new tube of mascara, my keys, a just cooked bagel

My least favorite was the keys because I spent a full hour trying to find them and finally realized I probably tossed them with the trash from the car (hey, at least I brought in the trash from the car).

My favorite was when the teenager at Einstein’s handed me my bagel and I walked over to the trash and threw it away. Literally. He handed it to me and I threw it in the trash (not even the compost, for God’s sake). I went back up to the counter and we had this little exchange:

Me: I just threw away my bagel.

Him: Why would you do that?

Me: Because I’m pregnant?

Him: Huh.

Yes, my dear bagel friend, huh, indeed. (He very kindly made me another one and didn’t even charge me.)

I know, let’s play Chris’ favorite game called “What the Hell is My Wife Talking About?” If you can correctly guess the word I’m looking for in all three instances, you are officially not pregnant. Or having a really cognizant day. Congratulations!

1. Can you get me the thing where I put my things to carry them around when I leave the house? (Oh, you mean a purse?)

2. I need to go to the place where they keep our money and hand out suckers. (That would be a bank.)

3. So I read this article on the… Oh, you know, the place where I work. It’s fast and tells us things. (The word you’re looking for is the Internet. You know the place where I work.)

Does my husband deserve a round of applause or what?

Things I’ve dropped:
-a Starbucks that I literally just let go of. Not over a table or a counter. I pretty much just threw it on the floor (they also very kindly made me another one).

-my phone, only 759 times

-my sunglasses, only 354 times

-an entire dish of pasta, which I also just threw on the floor. Which was weird because I was really, really hungry.

BUT NOT MY DAUGHTER. Phew.

General Dumbness:
-At my baby shower, a friend gave me a card that read, “I like it when my husband and son dress the same” (hint: this is a big clue). I then opened two hats – one baby-sized and one much larger – and exclaimed how great it was the baby would have a hat to fit no matter what the size of his head when he was born. What I was actually thinking was ”OMG, my son’s head better not fit into that enormous hat or it’s going to be one helluva a birth.”

And, yes, the hat fits Chris’ head quite nicely.

-Today I texted my friend a question we had discussed in length last night (like 10 or so texts back and forth) as if we’d never had last night’s conversation. It’s like I’m an amnesia patient and every day is a totally clean slate…

Feel better? The scary thing is I still have eight more weeks out in the wild… I’ll keep you updated.

Four years ago I took a leap of faith into what I imagined would be a soft place to land. Turns out it also includes scaling to heights I hadn’t even registered as possible. (*Dude, I warned you.)

Happy Anniversary!

**Chris is totally dying right now (if he’s read this) because he is notoriously private while I’m embarrassingly…not. But, sometimes you have to “Say Anything” it out there and let the world know you’re psyched you landed a hot, British hunk-a-burning-love, am I right?

What I really want to do, though, is crawl under the covers and read the week away. Did you guys used to do that when you were home sick? It was heaven. I’d watch “The Love Boat” (a huge treat since we didn’t watch TV) and then get my stack of books and tuck in. (Yes, I was also the kid who had friends over for “reading dates” where we literally wouldn’t talk for hours while reading side-by-side. We may have also checked out books to each other and implemented a modified version of the Dewey Decimal System. I never said I was cool.)

Unless I miraculously get a call from the Babysitting Fairy, I’m probably going to have to keep sneaking in reading time while microwaving or brushing my teeth, but, just in case, I’d like us all to be prepared. So, here are my fave books from the past couple of months.

1. The Expats by Chris Pavone: I may have waxed poetic earlier about what a huge fan I am of the thriller, but there is nothing better than stumbling upon a page-turner where you’re willing to risk an exhausted day with a toddler in order to find out how the damn thing ends. This one is worth the caffeine necessary to get through the next day…

2. The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe: I’ve gotta admit the title of this one kept me at bay for a couple of months  because it sounded so…intense (hey, I’m pregnant and, my husband might say, a teensy bit hormonal). And it is, but it is also a poignant love letter to the power of books and motherhood. I found myself scribbling down Mary Ann’s words of wisdom as guideposts for my own parenting and how to live my life (everything from the importance of thank you notes to managing family and work to buying art from young artists at a point in their lives where it will make a real difference). I first borrowed it from the library, but ended up ordering a copy so I can refer back to it.

3. The Mystery of Mercy Close by Marian Keyes: Okay, so I screamed when I saw a copy of this over Christmas in a UK bookstore. It doesn’t come out here until April, she’s one of my favorite authors, and I could lord the copy over my entire family? I think that deserved a (potentially unsettling) scream of joy, although the lady next to me in the queue may not have agreed.

Marian never fails to deliver. Her books are frothy and fast-moving, but deal with characters who are working their way through what feels like very real pain. And, they are invariably hilarious! Maybe it’s because of all my sisters, but I have a soft spot for the Walsh sisters and I am happy to report Helen is as quirky and charming in a totally messed up way as the rest of her brood.

4. Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick: I knew things were bad in North Korea, but reading this book gave me an entirely new level of chills. Told from the perspective of six ex-pats now living in South Korea, it’s full of harrowing tales of starvation, propaganda and fear (way to sell it, Kara). But, it’s also full of humanity and stories of ingenuity and survival. To me, it hits that sweet spot in non-fiction where Demick drops you so completely into her subjects’ lives that you’re left thinking about their stories months afterwards.

Now, please, share! Are you reading anything that you love? I need some new books!

I was talking with one of my friends about ways to not let social media take over your life and we came up with…zilch. My solution lately has been to go pretty much offline, which I think we can all agree is a brilliant move for a blogger, but which isn’t working because, well, I’m a blogger. When I’m with Alice, though, I want to give her my full attention – I’m already grocery listing and distracted by pretty things – so I’ve been trying to find a middle ground where I get my job done without turning, for example, into the mom whose kid tries on an aisle of lipstick while she’s on her phone tweeting about her swollen ankles. I offer this merely as an example, which has nothing to do with the fact I know Alice can rock Maybelline’s Ravishing Rouge like nobody’s business.

The one place where I have made strides is with my inbox. One day I realized having 3,127 emails in your inbox is a teensy bit overwhelming and, perhaps, not the most effective way of managing communications. I kept reading about this service called SaneBox, which invokes such passion people claim “to want to marry it.” I was skeptical (I already have a pretty hot husband) but it’s free to try so why not? A month into it and, let’s just say, I’ve started thinking about how many carats I’d like.

It is AWESOME. Basically, it’s like a really smart assistant for your inbox. It goes through your emails (magically, obviously) and filters them into different folders based on how important it thinks they are. If they’re from an actual person, they’ll stay in your inbox, otherwise, they filter into a SaneLater folder for you to read later or a SaneNews folder so you can glance at your newsletters at once. Then once a day (or however often you set it up) they send you a compilation of all your emails so you can quickly look them over and move anything important to your inbox or bulk delete.

At first I was terrified I’d miss an important email, but, you guys, I didn’t miss anything. Because turns out that out of the bazillion emails I get a day, I actually only care about a fraction of them; the rest were draining what little mental energy I have left and taking time away from the present. I’ll admit, it’s totally disconcerting at first to check your email and only see a couple new ones rather than the hundreds or so I would have had before (no ones loves me!), but it’s also been a reality check for how I spend my time. It’s way easier to go through all my newsletters, Facebook and Twitter notifications, and – fine – sale emails and bulk delete or act on them at once rather than one by one as they come in. I feel a lot less important, but am getting over it, because knowing about the latest Fab.com sale probably isn’t the best way to get a hit of self-esteem, am I right?

Once a week they also send an email that outlines how much time you save by using their service; last week they calculated I saved over 4.5 hours, which I obviously put to good use scrubbing the kitchen and bonding with my daughter (ie. online shopping and napping). One of these weeks I’m going to use it for something really important like working out world peace or learning how to tweet while sleeping…

Heart’s Desire Ruffle Dress is from the always lovely Spool 72.

Which makes my plan for dressing the toddlers of the world in contrasting prints seem downright sane. It’s taken me a bit of time to jump on this train, but, now that I’m on, I’m in full conductor mode. Personally, I think the key to making it work is simple – make sure the colors match and have one unifying color (in most cases white). Oh, and a little bit of sass never hurt.

All of these are from Old Navy and 40% off until tomorrow! I may have already done some retail therapy over there in the hopes of erasing the sounds of Breast Side Story from my brain…

1. For the little Francophile: striped umbrella tee / rockin’ polka dot pants / lovely bird shirt // 2. A version for the non-believers: adorable jean dress / cutest tights ever / coral shoes that match everything // 3. Little rock star outfit: gingham shirt / star jeans, which kiddo wears everyday / OTT French Bulldog t-shirt

This all started the year I was working with a brilliant coach (seriously, if you want to change your life, talk to Mary Ann). I’m sure she inwardly rolled her eyes at the laundry list of changes I was bent on making that year (she’s very polite like that) but instead she merely suggested I choose something fun. For me, at the time, this concept was laughably ridiculous: Things worth doing are hard, Mary Ann, not fun, and everyone knows that resolutions should come with a side of dread because that’s how you know they’re resolutions and worth changing. I may have also said this in my head because I also am very polite.

Fortunately, I listened to Mary Ann and, instead of becoming Mother Teresa that year, I simply decided to laugh really hard at least once a day. I saw funny movies, sought out happy people, and found myself choosing to laugh at situations that otherwise would have pissed me off (one of my favorites was courtesy of my hairdresser who, rather than getting all road raged at bad drivers, would give them a thumbs-down while shouting, “Boo on you!” It is strangely satisfying and totally hilarious.). I sincerely believe that year was a turning point for me; I learned to take myself less seriously, respond to situations more gracefully, and find fun in everyday situations (none of this is to say I’m still not a colassol grouch somedays; it’s just easier to get me out of it).

Since then I have resolved to: have one adventure a week (which resulted? coincided? with us moving to San Francisco), really listen to people when they’re talking rather than worry about what I’m going to say next, make time every day for reading, practice being kind rather than right (still very much a work in progress), and, last year’s, make Alice laugh really hard at least once a day.

This year’s resolution is to do one thing for myself that I’m only doing for the sheer joy of it. Not because I “should” or it will make me a better person or it will help my career or it will eventually turn me into the next Oprah, but because it’s something I really, really want to do. Which is how I found myself back in Acting class.

I know for most of you the idea of performing in front of people makes you want to take a Valium and sleep until next year, but I couldn’t be more thrilled. Yes, every Monday afternoon I mentally berate myself for signing up for this damn class when I have so much to do and when is the laundry ever going to get done and really I should just cancel because who has time for this sort of frivolousness? But by the end of class, I’m totally giddy and race home to talk Chris’ ear off, then stay up late running lines, high on the excitement of being back in a space where I feel completely at home.

It is so much fun.

I don’t know if it’s making me a better person (although I have noticed I’m extra patient the day after class), but I do know it’s bringing me such a ridiculous amount of joy that I can guarantee I won’t be squandering my resolutions on a clean house anytime soon…

Have any of you made any juicy resolutions?

And I’ll tell you what I tell them: PUH-LEASE go to BabyList. BabyList is an online registering tool, but that is only part of it. They just released a baby registry checklist where, after you fill in a short quiz, you get a tailored registry checklist based on your budget, diapering and breastfeeding plans, and style aesthetics. And it’s AWESOME! My results were all things that I actually used with Alice almost to a tee without a bunch of fillers like the lists I remember from the big box stores.

The checklist will get you the basics, but, of course, you want fun stuff too. So their fab founder, Natalie, conscripted a bunch of us to put together inspirational registries and just be careful, will you? There’s so much good stuff on there you’re going to want to put your credit card somewhere safe, like in a different state, while you’re browsing (my Colorful and Playful Registry is right here).

Okay, and I haven’t even gotten to the bomb-diggity basics of Babylist. It lets you register for anything, anywhere on the web – etsy, Giggle, Anthropologie, Ban.do (hey, babies, need pom poms too), and yes, Amazon, Target, and BabieRUS too. You can even register for babysitting, meals, cleaning services, hair cuts, all the things that will help you maintain your sanity when your life starts to revolve around feeding times, poop, and lost sleep.

Plus, it’s really pretty and easy to use. See?

Have I convinced you yet? After you get your registry together, I’d love for you to leave me the link in the comments so I can check it out. Happy registering!

Find the bunny coat and all sorts of other adorableness over at Bunnies By the Bay.

I was an idiot. And, yes, I ate crow, washed down by a very large Krispy Kreme donut because by that point I’d figured out the joys of maternity jeans.

This time around I hold no such ill-conceived follies. I know our lives are going to be toppled upside-down beyond recognition for a year or so before they finally right themselves… And, wait, I forgot to tell you our big news! I never know how to tell people so I just kind of slip it in and, yes, WE’RE PREGNANT! We are absolutely thrilled and couldn’t be happier. Alice is obsessed with being a “big sister”, which I assume lasts until the baby actually gets here.

It’s weird with the second one because I forget all the time I’m even pregnant, but, when I do remember, there’s a knowing that wasn’t there with Alice. In place of all the fear and incessant worrying (although there’s still plenty of that), there’s a buzzing excitement of what’s to come: the daily discoveries of what thrills and interests this completely new-to-the-world person; the way this one will no doubt challenge me in a completely different manner while opening my heart in unforeseen ways; getting to see Alice in a completely new role and Chris further embrace his dad-ness; having bigger and better dance parties; sharing the love around our family even more.

I know it’s going to totally kick my ass, you guys, and I don’t even care. Either I’m living on my own planet or I’ve finally come down to Earth…

Secondly, I know that we’re all probably shopped out after the holidays but how adorable is this poster from Minted’s new kids’ collection? I can’t wish anything bigger or more beautiful for my kiddo going into the New Year.

In other Minted news, I finally managed to get all of our holiday cards in the mail! This is a vast improvement over last year where I got them printed, but never managed to address the envelopes. Here’s a peek at this year’s card:

I can’t emphasize enough what a gorgeous job Minted does – there were a ton of designs I would have been happy with and the quality is stellar, which is important because, obviously, this is going to grace fridges for years to come.

This year they added a new feature where you can upload your address book and then they print out your envelopes for free. I swear that’s the only reason these actually made it to the post office.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, I further fancified the back with a custom stamp from Save the Date that I’ve been using it on every piece of mail I can get my hands on – no doubt my electric company appreciates a well-designed return address.

Is your mind blown yet? No one would ever guess these cards are from the home of a woman who is currently wearing Winnie the Pooh socks with holes in the toes, which I believe is the point of holiday cards.

At the last minute I included last year’s card, which seemed like a quirky, fun idea at the time, but now that they’re in the mail seems a little weird. Ah well, I wouldn’t want everyone to think I’m too together. And a hint of Pooh never hurt anyone, am I right?