++Faeries and Demons++

Like We Were In College Together

2015-10-15T13:33:00.001-07:00

[REMINDER: THIS IS A DREAM AND NOT REAL!]

College dorm ... A JOHNNYS ONLY UPLB style college dorm (with wooden floors and really narrow hallways).

I was in a middle of an argument with Sho-kun & Matsuoka-senpai (yes Matsu-nii!) about when does an idol group's fanbase really start to decline. Other members were there listening or getting bored.

As I was finishing my statement, a junior came in bringing a new Battleship PC game. Excited, everyone left me, Matsu-nii, Oh-chan and Sho to our little debate. Yup, they left the old people behind. After Matsu-nii finished his response to my statement, which ended the debate, Sho got up to head for the their room. He was shirtless, and I noticed he looked like his 18 year-old-self. Curious about the PC game, I decided to head to the room too. I placed my hands on his shoulders (surprisingly not as sloping as the older Sho) and let him lead the way. Oh-chan followed closely.

We watched the three younger members play the game with their PCs and laptops, each one playing against a junior. Oh-chan lit a cigarette behind us, disinterested by the game.

Then Matsu-nii yelled, "Aids' favorite is here!" It meant a professor was at the door.

Arashi's room was too crowded already, but Sho-kun insisted to hide in there. Oh-chan then pulled me into the room next door. He sat behind the door so no one could get in. It was just the two of us in there. He offered me a smoke even though he knew I already quit. I thought I could do one stick, that it should be fine. So he handed me his smoke case, it was an old Gatsby (pink) Spiky Edge Moving Rubber. Inside were half-burnt weed instead of ordinary cigarettes.

I didn't know how to react to it. Probably why I woke up.

Choices

2015-02-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

I was part of a troupe of actors, con-artists, devoted suicidal cult following. We had finally finished the conversion mission. Our last act was to sacrifice ourselves. In the group of 10, only one will survive to do the sacrifice. It wasn't me.

We dressed up in our best garbs -- white lace gowns and tuxedos. And we waited on the second floor of the nearby church in the middle of the slums. Four of us at the right balcony, and rest at the other side. We watched the sun set through the stencil(?) Window of the mother holding her hands out to her devotee. And when darkness rose, we lit the candles around us and laid down on the floor. Our hands clasped together in prayer over our bellies.

As our leader went through the members, my decision wavered. I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. I counted the moans of the dying. On the seventh, I opened my eyes. On the eight, I watched a woman stabbed and die. On the night, I heard my self beg. Please don't kill me. Please, I changed my mind. I want to WRITE. I have yet to finish my piece. There's so much more I have to write. I have to write about this!

The leader and I struggled with the knife as my pleads fell on deaf ears. We rolled on the floor and I found myself on top of him, overpowering him, stabbing him,.

I ran down and away from them dead fanatics. I looked for a garb to hide the splash of scarlet on my white lace gown. I found a priest's cloak, a San Franciscan robe. I wore it and ran towards the exit under the mother holding her hands out to me. I knocked down the candles and it ignited the whole place as I ran away. Far at the edges of the slum, I watched the church burn down. I watched the people living in the slums gravitate towards the spectacle. While all backs were turned on me, I turned my back on them and left.

I found myself at a bank bed of a creak. It used to be a flood that etched a permanent tide. Industrious people had made it a living to offer a means to cross to the other side. One was a barge; it was easy and clean, but the wait was long. Another is a series of planks meant to serve as a bridge; they were long and they were winding, and they were muddy, but there was no waiting to get through. It takes about the same time if you take either.

I didn't have enough for the boat, and I had plenty for the plank bridge. I took out the only money I had from my pocket -- a $5 coin and it shone like gold. There were four faces on the head. I didn't care to see the tails. But I felt the texture of it and I felt it was a waste to just use it to cross a simple creak. I looked on the muddy banks and I found a series of stones to get me to the other side, faster and free. Yes they were slippery and unstable, but the other two means had their own risk. The barge could sink if it went over the maximum capacity. The planks could break from wear.

So I took my chance and jumped from one stone to another as a barge crossed adjacent to me and people on the planks balanced themselves from falling. I reached the other side safely. A man with light brown hair and long face complemented me for making my own path, and I saw from his eyes the twinkle of attraction.

As I was changing my bed's linens, the man with light brown hair and long face pleaded to me to go with him to party. I told him I'll go when I finish changing the shams. He took a sham and started finish withd vigorous speed.

After a night of partying, we took my patron's limo and dropped everybody home until it was just the man and me left. The limo driver asked us where we off to and the man said to bring us back to his place. The driver asked clarifying if he should wait for me or just drop me off and come back. Considering we had to get the limo and the driver back to the mansion before my patron was back, I threw the decision to the man: either we go back to my patron's, his parent's mansion and he could leave as soon as he was fit to drive; or I go to his place and I stay overnight, and the driver could pick me up in the morning.

He was held aback. I could feel him sobering up because of the choices I had given him.

I woke up before I could get an answer.

~oOo~

Interp pending

Anime team vs Evil Totem Poles

2015-01-16T00:21:00.000-08:00

The feel of the characters were very Soul Eater. The team's objectives were very common anime objective. While I don't recall having seen the art before, it was kind of like a cross breed between manga and Vertigo.

The team is made up of a few students from this highly futuristic looking art school. Not everybody in the team fights in the same mission. Probably some of them were reserves. Like a trasher dressed up as a cowboy weilding a baseball bat. And a lady in capris driving the team's car, and it seems like her weapons a beads in a string (like Sailor Venus). They were only in one scene each, I didn't even hear the others call their names. (Since I didn't hear her name, I'm naming capris girl Tessa from here on, and she would be a modern art-metal sculpture student)

My point of view switches from two different female characters: Mika and Mei.

Mei was a transfer student in the classical arts department -- oil and charcoal. The whole story started when she got caught in the middle of the team's mission. She was immediately drawn to Mika as she faught.

Mika (probably from Soul Eater's Maka) was an architecture student who wielded twin guns (like Death Jr. In Soul Eater). She was the leader of the group. Excessively stubborn and over protective of her team. Everybody looks up to her as their team leader.

Joe (felt very like Soul himself) was Mika's love interest, sort of boyfriend but not really. They're both tsundere. But Joe is hella loyal to Mika. Joe does wood sculpture and weilds an ax.

Boy (was never named in the dream) dressed up like Grey of FT, white shirt and black pants. He weilded a crossbow, but his major was never mentioned. He seems to be blood thirsty and chaotic in the missions, but he's totally cool and collected at rest. He's always the first one on the scene and will always be staying to fight the enemy with Mika until it's gone. He only answers to Mika.

Yunlong (probably because of Nodame) was a classical music piano genius. He alone can spot where the enemy. He doesn't fight, but he has the vast knowledge of the enemy, and continually does the research the others couldn't do. He is tiny, frail, and with glasses. Whenever he called any of them, the ringtone would be of him playing one of his composition.

The enemy seems to be a weird interdimensional demon. They appear to be totem poles that sprouted overnight in the plain dimension. The team has a gadget to let them enter a 2nd dimension where they fight this totem pole without hurting the ordinary people surrounding it. Each totem pole have different abilities. Although in the plain dimension the poles are static, in the other dimension they are violent.

Mei's first mission is at the port, kinda like Coney Island. It was crowded with tourist. They were all riding skate boards. Mika gave the order to fall back. Cowboy and Joe did. Boy held it off until Mika came back. Mika skated towards it, as she saw Joe and the cowboy retreating in their own skate boards. But as Mika faught, Mei and the others came back to fight it with her. This totem pole was yellowish -- perfectly blending with the port.

Another mission, the totem pole was red and black and it was harder than the others. It was also able to hypnotize ordinary people and it tried to congregate to their adviser (which I never saw, he was just giving orders to the team). Mei, Mika and Joe finished it off on their own. They were alerted at how this one could contorl people. The situation was getting severe everytime. They were picked up by Tessa. And as Mei and Joe played tug-o-war for Mika (which at some point Mika said to Tessa, "you try being sandwhiched by an Asian cat and dumb jock"). Yunlong called.

This was where I woke up. One of the best dreams I've had yet.

A Dream Convention

2014-02-15T12:29:00.001-08:00

Tonight's dream was obviously foretelling how much I have missed my New Worlds Family. Every regular attendees where there. Also, how my unconscious head is filled up with stories that needs to be written down.

I entered a convention hall filled with people dressed up in different costumes and teen-agers in ordinary shirts and jeans and backpacks. I met a busy Pao by the entrance reading a memo on a console table. He immediately gave me a hearty side hug and told me to go see everyone. I went straight to a corner where a white faux leather couch lay surrounded by storm troopers and trekkies. I saw Jon sitting on the couch, he was dressed up in an unfamiliar armor, and immediately showered me with gifts.

First it was 8 VHS tape-recording of an entire TV series I supposedly like (but have not heard in my waking life) -- THE 8TH STRATOS *something something* -- a live action space adventure with a female captain and a motley crew of rejects. Sounds like Star Trek: Voyager meets anime: Captain Tylor meets Jdrama: Boss. Then Jon greeted me a Happy Birthday and gave me a brotherly kiss on the cheeks.

Then he offered me a whole duffel bag filled with THE FIVE KINGDOMS TCG -- old and battered, but complete set of every card printed of this defunct game. Even though I haven't played TCG since Magic: The Gathering in high school, I excitedly accepted. Apparently, I'm a fan of this socio-political driven story about five kingdoms trying to invade each other (but I've not heard of it in my waking life). Camelot meats Romance of the Three Kingdom meets Dune meets every YA dystopian future.

As I retreated back to my car to set aside my loot from Jon, I watch teenagers go up from one booth to another. The people in the booth were all in costume matching the display in their booth. I pointed my finger at one person in a medieval costume and a booth adorned with swords and shields, because apparently I knew him (I don't think I've met him in my waking life), and he pointed his finger back at me. Then he started to declaim a start of a story in a loud theatrical booming voice. I apologized and told him that I have to leave and will come back when able. Every booth I passed by, the attendant in costume will point at me; when I point back, the booth person would start his/her declamation. They were different groups and genre too. There was a witch, there was a guy in a very badly made tin robot costume, there were different medieval countries, there were pirates and ninjas and assasins in suits. When I came back from my car, I realized, pointing my finger back to these people meant I'm participating in a short campaign they have prepared for the convention. It's a GAMING CONVENTION! The people in the booth are table-top RPG masters. I facepalmed and avoided the Table Top RPG area.

I eventually found Tobs in the electronic game area. He told me to try this new game that was reminiscent of the old Silent Hill games, but instead of creepy faceless nurses, they had creepy gothic lolita with baby carriages attacking the POV-character. There were girls with parasols, too, and girls in ordinary shirts and capri pants attacking the character with shopping carts in the supermarket setting. When I asked Tobs why the chacter was being attacked by these women, he said, I have to finish the game to find out (however, my conscious brain has started to work a story around it). It was Silent Hill meets Alice: Return to Madness.

I told Tobie that I wanna cosplay the girl with the baby carriage. He laughed and started planning with me how to get it done.

I woke up in here.

The Prize at the Top

2013-10-10T09:52:00.001-07:00

I won a school competition. I went to the restroom to brush my teeth. That was the first sighting of the hang-up. I quickly spit out the bubbles from my mouth, and ran back to the classroom. The session was dismissed, and my mom and I headed back home. My mom decided to use the stairs all the way down from third floor. As we socialized with classmates and other parents on the first floor of the building, another classmate called my name and told me I had won a place in the competition and I should go up to the fourth floor to get the prize from the principal. My mom told me to go up and she will follow. But, she never did.

To make things quicker, I decided to use the escalators. The classmate who called me dared me to a race. But, I noticed all escalators were going up, none of them were set to go down. But I still ran, 2 steps at a time, stopping only to catch my breath. We got there at the same time, despite my classmate's huge head start.

When I got up, there was a waiting line to the Principal's office. I sat down with my classmate and waited. But, I got impatient so I got up and looked around. I heard someone call the hang-up's name. And then, he walked out from the Principal's office. We started bickering passively--directing everything to our own companions, answering each other's accusations. I got impatient again and just pushed him on the floor. The sexual tension built up, and I heard someone say "that's how you do it." He was waiting for a kiss.

The prizes were given out, but I missed mine. The principal left, and it was just him and me. In my head, I thought, "Ah, He's my prize."

~oOo~

Competitions -- a need to grow and expand. Also, a need to be more assertive.
Winning -- I have a goal. I have the means to achieve the goal. I only have to enter this competition against myself. Winning is also symbolizes SEXUAL CONQUEST. Conquistadora is back! (#LOL)
Brushing Teeth -- means, I'm a little shaky in the confidence area.
Classroom -- Personal growth and learning something about myself. I am currently on a soul/self-searching phase.
Going down the Stairs -- setbacks. The decisions my mom made is holding me back.
Third / Fourth Floor -- The fourth floor was the top floor of the building. Third floor means I didn't do well enough to reach the top prize. Everything I did was halfhearted, but, if I give it my all, imagine what I can achieve.
Going up Escalators -- That all the escalators were going up means I'm being pushed to go up. This is the only way. I need not question it. Just take advantage of it.
Race -- Still about obstacles and achieving it.
Waiting in line -- means, that I need to learn patience. Exactly what I didn't have in the dream.
Principal's office -- Low self-esteem. My id is trying to tell me something (#LOL).
Prize -- Signifies progress in my personal goals. But, because, I didn't actually get it yet or I didn't kiss him in my dream, I don't my prize yet. Something I have to work for.

Drunken Frenzy

2013-06-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

It was Camellia School. The B clan were there, as young as they were when I had left them. The school also doubled as an apartment complex; like a dorm for all the students; like White House in ElBi. And just like it, at night, the whole complex partied.

I went around from room to room, and met some people. One of whom is JGL. He was studying amidst the exchange of alcohol.

I got a little drunk, and logic evaded me. I thought it would be faster to get to my apartment going around the complex. As drunk as I was, I mistook the fire exit staircase as the proper one.

Before I knew it, it was breaking dawn. One of the younger B girls was opening the school gates. She caught me climbing up and down the fire escape, obviously lost and confused. The drunkenness faded away when she started scolding me. She had someone escort me back to my quarters; and someone else to keep me in the apartment until she summons me. Slightly tipsy, I asked her to make JGL guard me. She shook her head as she went away.

-oOo-

Interp pending.

My Own Silent Hill

2013-01-28T12:28:00.001-08:00

It's been a while since I had the reason to write down my dream. I haven't even been able to interpret these dreams. However, this one I just had moments ago was so disturbing, I was compelled to put it in writing.

It started out an Arashi fangirl's dream. I was with Arashi's management team, but I didn't really know what my job was. It was in the middle of a music video or a commercial shoot set, and people were preparing the set. They were all treating me like a child, telling me not to do anything, instead of telling me what to do. But, true to their fear, I did break a whole set and we had to put it back again. In the dream, I described the set as a necklace for the house, it had no use, but, to accesorize.

Ohno and Nino came and started teasing me, like we've always known each other. But, my memory intact, I knew I wasn't acquainted to them, not in real life anyways. And, so, I started blushing at the attention they were giving me. Fangirls participating in the shoot were fighting in over a flying balloon, one girl claiming it her own. Nino asked me to break up the fight and give the balloon to the the girl claiming it, for he knew it was hers. Later, after the whole crew have eaten, I started doing the dishes. The higher ups thanked me for doing that, however, Nino distracted me and when I came back, the dishes were done.

After the shoot was done, I had to run to a meeting. The meeting was in a rundown complex, where some people lived and some people did business. In a corner stall, a person was screening Lea Salongga's sing-along karaoke webcasts. She looked so young in the TV, but I couldn't figure out what the stall was really selling or if it was selling anything at all.

In the middle of the meeting, I felt that my period came and I wasn't prepared. I ignored it thinking maybe it was just the first gush. But as time wore on, I felt how badly wet and sticky it felt, and I was worried it'll leak and stain my velvet skirt. I ran to the nearest bathroom, past the stall still screening Lea Salongga's sing-along. I went in and notice a lot of people were in it, both male and female. They seemed to be investigating an incident, which I didn't really care to know. I didn't care they were there at all. They can watch me put on napkin or whatever, just as long as I could do what I went there for. But, almost all the stalls are occupied. And everytime I asked, the people kept on telling me to ask permission from the chief -- a lady in the middle of the public bathroom.

I decided to ignore it and just went in a stall on the right of the entrance. As I was putting down my pants, a man in a SWAT uniform came in and said that the chief told him to use this stall instead. So, I put my pants back on, and left. I started towards the next stall, but then, the reddish/brownish muck from the bathtub of that stall suddenly bubbled and a female figure slowly came out of the muck as if being lifted up. Then a pair of muscular arms came out as it lifted the female body and let it fall down without care. A mascular male body came out of the muck and stayed there staring at me.

I ignored it as I approached the chief. I asked her to give me a stall just so I could put on a fresh pair of underwear and deal with my period. She pointed me to the same stall where the bathtub was with all the muck. I said, "ayoko nga, may gumagalaw dun eh (I don't want to go there, something's moving in there)." The chief was surprised to hear that. She turned to look at the bathtub, her subordinates followed. Her eyes started to widen in fear. Then in a flash, the man who displaced me from the first stall I went to, was thrown between us, dead with a open skull. Not, yet done with the violence, he was pulled back by the feet as quickly as he was thrown out.

I saw the male figure rise out of his muck in the bathtub. Another muscular male figure came out of the shower stall beside the toilet stall I came from, also covered in reddish/brownish muck. I panicked and ran. Right behind me, the chief was also running to save her life. I have no idea how she lost all her clothes. She was completely naked by the time we reached the double doors of the building.

But the doors were all closed and locked. And losing all senses, we couldn't open it. We started trying to break the glass. It was made of flexiglass. But the strength of a terrified and panicked woman could be stronger than any sharp bullet. The chief, with her naked body was able to break the glass and got us out of there.

We separated as soon as we got out of the building. And as I walked away, I said to myself, and out loud, too, "That bathroom again, same bathroom, always that bathroom. I've got to wake up. Wake up, Dekya, wake up!" I slapped myself twice. And I woke up disturbed by the dream.

In Big Bang's Dormitory

2012-09-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL BIG BANG FANS WHO GOT LOST AND ACCIDENTALLY FOUND THEIR WAY HERE: This is a dream journal. This is not a fanfiction blog. Can I make it any more clear?

~oOo~

My Uncle was taking care of Big Bang -- sort of like a house dad for the boys. Because of this, I frequently go to their house to hang out. I was midly aware they were Big Bang and that they were popular, but I didn't feel like I was a fan. I was, however, close enough to call them by their first names.

I was there that day to watch TV with the boys. I was lying on the floor, at the foot of Youngbae's bed. He was lying beside me, his head almost touching mine. I felt I was closest to Youngbae -- most likely because he was nicest to me. I had this sense that I was also close to Daesung, but he wasn't there. He had a solo gig to attend to, while the other four boys while their day away.

I didn't talk much to Ji Yong and T.O.P. Ji Yong was just plain snobbish, and T was just plain quiet. On the other hand, Seungri was just too distracted -- like he had ADHD.

Youngbae was the right mix of everything. He talked to me in right succession and right time -- and we could share a peaceful silence without any awkwardness at all.

I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the bathroom. Youngbae tucked his legs in to give me space. He didn't want me to walk over him. I struggled with opening the bathroom door a little. With a nudge, I opened it, and almost fell down, I found Seungri sitting on the toilet. He tried to catch me without rising up from the toilet much. I apologized profusely and immediately closed the door.

I leaned on the closed bathroom door, more chagrined with Seungri trying to help me back on my feet while sitting on the toilet, than actually seeing him sitting on the toilent with his pants down. Instinctively, I looked at Youngbae. He was now sitting upright and using the bed's end as a back rest, and he was smirking. I laughed in embarassment, he laughed in amusement.

T.O.P stood up from his bed, placed the book he was reading down, took his top off and went out of the room. In my mind, I thought, he was going to take a swim in the pool. Ji Yong shushed us and went back to whatever he was listening to in his headphones.

I went back to the foot of the bed and sat beside Youngbae. Now we were shoulder to shoulder. He tried to console me jokingly, as if the sight of Seungri in the toilet was something to mourn over. I tried to keep my laugh in, else we'd be shushed again -- or worst kicked out of the room. He put his arms around me casually, still joking about Seungri, then I felt him heat up to the closeness of our faces. He instantly took his arms off me and he looked away as he blushed.

We sat there quietly for almost a minute -- felt like hours -- before he stood up and grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room.

[below this is rather TMI]

He just pulled me all the way to the other bathroom (it looked like gym bathroom with shower stalls and toilet stalls). But, I let go. Not because I didn't want to do what he was intending to do, but because, I was wearing a pad and needed to take it out before he sees it. No girl in the moment of intimacy would want the guy to see that. I was also making sure my period was over, for in my mind, the pad was just an assurance in cases of last few drops.

He went ahead of me to the shower stall, and I went into the toilet stall. I threw the pad away in the toilet, where I saw yesterday's pad opened and all red.

As soon as I pulled my pants up, I ran to where Youngbae was.

And then, I woke up IRL, looked at my alarm clock and panicked as I was already 30minutes late for work.

Had I not had work, I would have went back to sleep and tried to find out what was supposed to happen in that shower stall.

[update: the following night, I dreamt of Arashi again, as if they were reminding me, I'm not allowed to dream of any other band or group of guys. Such possessive guys LOL]

A CM Shoot in SEA

2012-08-18T11:57:00.004-07:00

This was a dream that occured a couple of weeks ago. So most of the details have degraded because I was too lazy to keep my writing table clear enough for me to work on.

I remember having to go to Malaysia (or was it Indonesia) for a commercial shoot. That commercial shoot had Ninomiya Kazunari and Sakurai Sho as its main celebrity endorser.

I remember begging and bribing a man with US$1500 just to get me in the project, this on top of the money I had to spend on the trip. Chelli did the same, but she got it cheaper since she came from the Philippines and I came from California.

I remember riding a boat around the river as we went sight-seeing, waiting for the man and waiting for our assignments in that commercial shoot.

I remember watching the chaos of the production in the shadows, and hearing people call me AD (Assistant Director) as they prep the actors.

I remember seeing Chelli pull Sho-kun inside a bedroom (doors open), and making him practice the choreography for the shoot in front of a large dresser mirror. I watched Chelli giggle and laugh, flirting to the max. She was taking advantage of the fact that Sho was flirting back.

I remember Chelli teaching one thing and Sho doing another. Chelli said he should raise his arms out in front of him, but Sho stepped behind her and raised it forward from behind her. They started dancing, not so much of the choreography. Chelli said he should put his ass out like how she's doing it, and Sho started dry-humping the girl.

I remember Nino coming out of his green room in a suit. He was embarrased by what was happening over at Sho's corner, and he started apologizing in the man's behalf, as Sho and Chelli continued dry-humping.

I remember one of the wardrobe people calling out "AD-san!" and I came out of the shadows to answer the call.

I remember Nino's face, vividly, at that moment he saw me, AD-san. His mouth agape and his eyes fixed on me. He was gawking. I found it highly amusing, since I was supposed to be gawking at him. But I had to play it cool, because, in all technicality, I wasn't supposed to be there at all. Especially not as AD.

I remember Nino started fumbling with his words and slightly stutter as he continually apologized for Sho-kun in embarassment.

Then, I woke up. And all that I could think of was that stunt that Chelli pulled with Sho-kun in my dream.

I remember, there wasn't any dancing in the commercial script at all.

Interviewing Arashi

2012-06-06T12:23:00.001-07:00

I was accompanying an older woman, and she brought me to a studio of sorts. There, we waited at a circular table for the people she's meeting.

Then Aiba Masaki came out, followed by Sakurai Sho. When Aiba the woman, he crossed his arms and stopped right before her, she was standing up by now. They talked in Japanese, and I could barely get what they were saying to each other. It was heated up that I'm sure of, and Aiba was getting angry as the woman continued pleading. From what I summise, the woman had interviewed Aiba before and offended him by what she wrote in the end.

A staff interrupted, and with his paper, confirmed instructions with the two idols. The two guys used this opportunity to ignore the pleading woman.

Seeing as it is my only chance, I poked Sho on his muscular eyes as widarms, twice, to get his attention. He turned to me with wide questoning eyes. I thought that the only way for him to grant me this interview is to talk to him in my most perfect American english, accent and all.

I told him without falter, "Hi! I'm here to interview you for a Japanese-American newsprint in San Francisco. If it's alright with you?" Of course, I really wasn't, but continued to introduce myself, "Hajimemashita, Dekya [surname] desu. Oh, but, it should be [surname] Dekya, isn't it?" putting some American infliction in the accent.

Taken by surprise, he nodded. I handed him documents of my credentials and he sat down looking at them. I continued building myself up, "I am also correspondent for newssites in North America, South America in Chile, France, Spain ..." he just kept on nodding, "oh, and of course some countries in South East Asia as I am from there." I seem to be enumerating places I want to go to.

As I wasn't even there to interview him, wasn't even aware that I was gonna see him, my notebook was devoid of questions. He grabbed it from me to see which questions aren't allowed and not. He looked at me full of doubt again, so I said quickly, "My interview style is more conversational than sticking to a set of questions. I come up with questions from the answers you give."

Oddly enough, he was satisfied with the excuse. Aiba was still behind him, ignoring the other woman. I took out my mobile phone which I use to record reports.

As I settled to start the interview, Ohmiya, arms wrapped around each other, came skipping in, followed by, I pressumed, their manager. Ninomiya Kazunari looked at me, Ohno Satoshi continued being oblivious. Nino lead Ohno to our table and stood right beside me, moving Ohno to his right side. Nino's hips touching my arms, and I thought he was doing it deliberately.

They started talking in Japanese, but this time I understood.

NINO: What is this (grabbing my documented credentials)

SHO: Interview for an American tabloid.

ME: Would you mind if I interview you as well?

NINO: Ok, 15 seconds.

ME: That's not even enough for a quickie. (all my seduction tendrills in full force)

NINO: (looks at me, still holding my credentials but with eyes flirting forcefully back) 15minutes.

SHO: (to me) Do you have time tomorrow?

ME: I was hoping I could finish this today so I might beat my deadline.

SHO: I trust that you can do it.

ME: My deadline's on Wednesday, I have little time left.

Sho looked at Nino who was still staring at me, and back at me. With that, we understood each other and I said, "I can do what interview we can have right now and return tomorrow for more."

~oOo~

Sadly, I woke up here and didn't get to find out how it went the following day.

I don't need to analyse this do I? And no, I don't know where MatsuJun was. And I didn't notice what happened to Ohno and Aiba once the exchange between Nino, Sho and I started. By the way, Sho and Aiba were wearing the pink AAA 2008 costume, while Nino and Ohno were in sweatpants.

Battle Royal Mystery Solving Dream

2012-06-01T11:30:00.001-07:00

Last night, I dreamed of riding busses and Battle Royal in the air.

Mystery solving and a circus show, with idol angels performing on stage (blame Momoiro Clover on VSA).

I was just a spectator of Battle Royal, solving the mystery of who created this masacre.

The kids dare not touch me as I go about my business. They stop the killings while I'm in the room. My purpose was to solve the myster, so I go in and out of the rooms, the fields, every nook and cranny ... looking for evidence.

Then the bell rings (I blame Game of Thrones). Then each child still living, grabbed on to rocket looking things. I ran. I ran to hold on to one, and avoid the killings to get to one.

Then the rockets took off, and we were in the air. And even in the air, I witness the kids, with their hands tightly gripping the handles of the rockets, kicked and hit each other, trying to take the others out of the game.

We all land in the middle of an amusement park, the cheap ones, like that of a roving circus. On stage an Angel was singing. An idol in an all white lace costume and a cape that looked like wings. I ran up to the stage, as the kids continue their carnage in the ground.

I see the Angel idol finish her song. It was time for the next Angel to take the stage. I follow the Angel who left. I see her enter their waiting tent. I see beside it, the bus I'm to take to get away from here.

I jumped into the bus, sat down beside the driver and let him drive me off away from the circus.

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Jay in the Elevator

2012-06-01T11:16:00.001-07:00

It was in same Ortigas I had been before. In a hotel/mall with weird elevator system, like it was from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory (the Tim Burton version) -- transparent/clear and goes sideways.

I rode the elevator. A man in drag, white dress with Lily print and red heels, pushed the buttons for me as I mentioned my destination. His name is Jay.

The elevator ran, like it was roller coaster ride. I held on tightly, as if I knew it was like that.

The elevator went through a tube filled with water, underground. I held my breath knowing we'll won't be able to breathe. But, I didn't close my eyes. I watched as Jay disintigrated in the water, trying to reach out to me for help.

Then as soon as the elevator came out of the water, we weren't wet. Jay was gone. And I was thinking to myself, "what did he do to deserve that?"

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Catching Nino's Attention

2012-05-23T11:08:00.001-07:00

My alarm goes off at 8am and I usually just hit it, sleep some more and wake up at 10. Because of this, most of my dreams are divided into two parts.

PART 1: THE HOTEL INCIDENT

We were in a bus, me and a few fangirls who I have not met before IRL, traveling along Southgate Ave. in Daly City.

I can't remember exactly when was it Nino got on the bus, I only remember he sat beside me and asked me directions to his hotel. I gave him directions. As the bus turned left on Lake Merced Blvd. towards Westlake Shopping Center, I told him that this was his stop and he had to walk back Southgate Ave., crossing it and turn left towards his hotel (IRL, where the hotel stood, is the building where the banks and Kaiser Hearing Center are.)

He thanked me and got off as soon as the bus stopped and opened the doors. As he was getting off, I was reminding him of a few more instructions, to which I ended with, "ok, baby?" unconsciously (redundant, i unconsciously said something in my unvonsciuos state).

The fangirls in the bus caught that little bemused statement. They started wooting and bantering, as I realized what I had just said. I looked back to the Nino's descending back. Before taking the last step off the bus, he stopped and shook his head with an amused smile on his face (this is the only part where it had a reverse shot from my perspective).

I was red with embarassment, but it felt great saying it anyways.

CUT TO

In the place I was living in (a place I've never seen before -- some dormitory or shared house), a note came addressed to me. It was a piece of paper torn from a notebook or pad, with blue ink.

It was a threat to me. It said that it was my fault that Nino had commited suicide in his hotel room and that all fangirls are out to get me.

My housemates, all were also fangirls, were telling that we need to go to the hotel and do news research, verify the facts before we look for the girls who were trying to threaten me.

If Nino did commit suicide, then we'll prepare for the outraged women with their pitchforks and torches. If not, then we'll have to show them that we're not going to be bullied.

PART 2: SUMMER HOLIDAY STUDENTS

In a shared house (different than that of Part 1), Nino and I lived as students. Separate bedrooms, sadly. We do share one study hall and living room, and the computers are in the study hall.

I was cramming a paper. Or was I cramming HIS paper because he was slightly ill and I was the one tending to him.

Although, this dream, came later than the first one, I can't remember clearly as of writing. I only remember general feelings of anxiety, anticipation, deep love and frustration.

I was trying so hard to do everything for him, waiting for a bone for him to toss my way -- even if it was just a simple thank you. I wanted him to appreciate me and I wanted him to like me just as much as I like him.

But, his reactions were confusing. I couldn't be sure if he likes me or he's just fond of the attention I was giving him.

It felt like he was Uno once more. I hate the feeling, most of all.

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

My Lesbian Affair with MatsuJun

2012-05-19T15:42:00.001-07:00

This is the first time I'm actually fooling around with another member of Arashi, other than Nino, in my dream. I feel like i'm cheating. However, I should mention it here that in this dream, MatsuJun is a woman like me, with A-cup boobs and the softest lips.

On to the dream ...

We were in a king sized bed beside the door. There were three of us on the bed. MatsuJun and I were cuddled up by the wall. B, a friend of mine who had no interest whatsoever in Jun, was beside us, ignoring the familiar flirting of a couple in the early stages of a relationship.

The cuddling and the flirting progressed to full on make-out, to petting to the initial act of foreplay. In which we were interrupted by a couple of bold, overweight, otaku-nerds. They started wooting and whistling and proding us to go further, because it was hot to watch two girls do it.

So, we stopped. And fell asleep soon as the men left.

When we woke up, we were alone in bed. B, had moved to the smaller bed to the other side of the wall. Relieved that we were somewhat alone, I started caressing MatsuJun, and pulling up her shirt. She did the same thing, pulled me on top of her and started suckling my right breast. We were in the heat of things when we noticed that B had moved beside us again. She wasn't watching, but, she was pretending to be asleep facing us.

It killed the heat. I got off of her and laid my head on her arms. MatsuJun said it was ok and that we'll continue later when B was gone.

B pretended to wake up and gave her greetings. B, then, reminded MatsuJun that they were going to see Lolo Ohno (yes, that's what I heard B say) and that they had to hurry and get ready. Surprised and pissed off, I looked at Jun. She told me to keep calm and expect to have her tonight without interruption all the way.

I left to dress up and attend to my own business.

CUT TO

I was moderating an event. Screening of a game -- very much like Zelda -- turned live action film. That's why there was a lot of otaku around.

CUT TO

I needed to use the bathroom for no. 2. When I got to the theater bathroom, someone did not flush. And when I tried to flush, it overflowed. All the shit on the floor, I tried to clean it up. I didn't wan't my event to look bad just because there was a malfunction in the venue's only toilet rendering the bathroom littered with shit.

I was using a handheld-pail (tabo) to push the shits to the drain with water. One of them, surprisingly, evolved everytime it hit the water. From literal crap, to sandwhich to mousse, to cake to a really huge cake. A Japanese comedian, a guest in the event, caught me cleaning up and told me, that the evolving crap was his invention. I complimented him for the ingenuity of his creation and the impressive way it evolves.

CUT TO

I was looking at available business. ICS was with me, looking it over, too. There were three options. But we focused on the Bakery and the bread machine. For $/PhP6,000 (I can't remember the currency), the bread machine was the most sound for ICS. I wouldn't need any other employee, nor would I need a to spend too much time tending to it. I can even go have a different job, too. ICS told me, if I chose that, he'll help me with the initial payment.

So, I took it and brought it to a small grocery (very much like where I work right now). The bread machine only sells dinner rolls of three sizes for now, packs of 6, packs of 10 and packs of 20. The bags or packs were the same sizes, but as the number of dinner rolls increase, the size of the rolls decrease.

A woman asked me if I had a loaf of bread. I apologized and explained that the machine only makes bread rolls and that maybe in the future we will have loaves and other kind of bread.

END

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Laruku Concert

2012-05-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

I rarely dream of HYDE. I don't even remember dreaming of him before. But, this is one awesome dream that I wished was real.

On to the dream

I came in late to the L'arc~en~Ciel concert. It was my first. Even though, I only got to see the last three songs, I was extremely happy.

When it ended, the band got off stage and walked at the edge of the audience (it was a small venue) to their green room. Like any other fan in the audience, I tried to get their attention. Being as complicated as I think, I used the poster I was holding as a drum stick and pretended not to be too excited and hit some beat using the poster and the chair.

Somehow, how unlikely it ever seemed, it worked. HYDE looked at me and approached me. He pointed at me, while TETSU stood behind him smiling, albeit slightly sinister.

Then they left. All girls in the audience looked at me, some were angry, some were envious, some were even crying. A staff came up to me and lead me inside the stadium's inner bowels and into their green room.

HYDE pushed a plate of food in my hand and told me to eat. As I took some more food from the buffet spread before me, HYDE explained that I have been chosen to do something for them in their next concert.

But, then I woke up, and I never knew what was I supposed to do in their next concert.

~oOo~

Analysis to follow

Zombie VS Alien Apocalypse

2012-05-14T02:54:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to have only a 30-minute nap, but had set the alarm for 7:30 AM instead of PM. *facepalm*

On with the dream.

I was a young boy of 12 on the run in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Alone, I hide in the shadows, to avoid the zombies, and to survive. I have a natural gift of knowing who has been infected before they turn into zombies. (These zombies don't die first, they just keep on living, decaying and lose their mind in the process of the turn).

While avoiding some zombies, I find a group of girls holding a fort of their own. As a party went out to make their rounds from their garage, I ran into their fort before the electronic door came closing down. It was a condominium garage. I saw cars, mostly pick-up trucks and a lot of tools. One girl was left clearing up the tools she used to upgrade their cars.

I follow her in the elevator, hoping she wouldn't ask who I was and just assume that I was part of their small community against zombies. But, when she looked at me, she knew I was a survivor out there. She welcomed me, and brought me up to her unit.

She offered me food, a warm bath and clean clothes. She told me stories as she sorted clothes that I could use. I watch her roommate go in and out of the place. A flash of memory projected in my head. I have been in this unit before, and with her, too. In that memory, I was with an older woman, someone we were both related with. Like a mother figure. Whether she remembers me or not, I never asked.

As the time moved and she continued to tell stories, she exhibited signs that she has the zombie affliction. She wasn't aware though, or if she was, she hid it very well. But, not to me.

I excused myself and entered the bathroom with the clothes I took off. I planned to put my clothes back on when I get out of the building. I escaped through the bathroom window. It wasn't too high, and there was a container of sorts right beside the ledge I could reach by jumping down. I carefully walked along the ledge to its end. The lady from the condominium looked out of her bathroom window and pleaded I come back, that it was safer inside the building than the zombie infested streets. I gave her a last look and jumped.

CUT TO

I'm now part of a motley crew kind of group that has the zombie apocalypse resolved. There were still zombies out there, but a bigger problem has shown itself in light. ALIENS.

Aliens were the root cause of the zombie apocalypse. So, our group hunted down these aliens, in the midst of battling the zombies that still ran rampant in the streets. Each alien had their own weakness.

There was an old man, the watcher of our group, the one with the all the knowledge that we need. The lady in the condominium was there, her zombie infliction contained for the moment. A young girl, the same age as me and younger boy. It seemed like we had more members, but for the moment, they were out on a mission.

A pressing matter came to our attention. A couple of aliens were coming our way and we needed to get rid of them. And the only thing we needed for this particular aliens were NUTMEG spice.

We grabbed a couple of spice bottles of nutmeg, the zombie woman and I. We armed the other children, while the old man was working on a plan.

CUT TO

We were able to intercept the alien couple's car, found them seated in the back with a lone zombie driver as their entourage. We killed the zombie. We studied the aliens. One male, one female. Both looked human with creepy faces.

With complete arrogance, the alien couple looked at us, a smug smile on their lips. Without uttering a word, we knew it was a threat, we knew they meant that they were dispensable, and that more were coming or have already come.

I splashed the nutmeg on the male. The zombie lady splashed another bottle on the other. They disintegrated. They did not scream, cry or showed any form of pain, as if they are completely fulfilled by the death we had inflicted upon them.

END OF DREAM

I should have a tag for *cinematic game-perspective* OR I'm in need of a new game that my brain is making one for me.

*analysis to follow*

Sulu　Whirlpool

2012-05-12T03:31:00.000-07:00

It's in a place where I had been before in one of my dreaming lives, but have never been in real life; the place with lots of interconnecting malls and a very confusing light rail train; an alternate Philippines.

A competition was being held. And my ex, Squal, was entering a song he had written in collaboration with Chiaki Kuriyama. But he had forgotten his music sheet in Sulu.

And so I took the fastest route to Sulu, through the Whirlpool I once took in another dream to Palawan.

(got distracted and wasn't able to finish writing this. so the dream memory has faded a bit and i can only write of what i remember)

Although, I was supposed to go to Sulu, I went to Palawan, where there were boats that ferried people to Sulu. I took a boat just to get that music sheet, and in the trip, a couple of guys from the island tried to pick me up. I liked the attention.

I spent a night in Sulu, and got back to the competition in the city just in time, with only a minute to spare.

I found Squal in the waiting room, sitting beside Uno. I delivered the music sheet and then sat on Squal's lap while looking at Uno and watching how he'd react.

I saw discomfort in his eyes. But, one could also interpret it as disgust.

(From here on, I can't remember anything else except going back to the beach and the amusement park I once went to)

*analysis to follow*

Powerhouse Nap

2012-05-07T05:07:00.001-07:00

Obviously, to most Arashi fans, it's about Nino again.

I wasn't feeling well when I got home from work today. So, without taking off my make-up and without even dressing down to house clothes, I snuggled under my comforter and took a 20minute power nap. Sadly, my brain ignored the 20minute alarm and seven hours later, I've completed a ful REM cycle.

I remember having so many dream sequences. But, as a lot of people know, only that which concerns Nino remained in my awakened head.

In my dream, I was supposed to look like Nino, parading as his decoy and slightly flirting with Becky (yes, Aiba's Becky, Tarento Becky, Becky we all love and adore). Becky thinking she was spending her time with Nino, all these time, fell in love with me and was expecting more.

Until, Nino came in and revealed that I was really his lover and wife. Becky looked at me with tearful eyes. I tried to explain to Becky that even though I'm a girl, and married to Nino, I seriously like her and would have her as my wife as well (I know, it's become surreal from here on). If it's really Nino she wants, and not a girl like me, then I'm fine sharing Nino, too. I told her, I never meant to hurt her.

Becky ran away sobbing. I was about to chase after her when Nino pushed me back down to where I was sitting. He told me to let her go, that if Becky really wants one of us, she'll have to deal to accepting both of us.

Then Nino gave me the most torrid kiss, yet. It was so torrid and hot that I came even before Nino took off his pants. I'm keeping what happened afterwards to myself. Though, I've detailed other Nino dream exploits far more elaborately before, I just can't with this one.

~oOo~

On to the meaning...

Being a decoy myself means I'm trying to be someone I am not. I'm wondering which part of myself right now am I not being myself?

As for that orgasm, maybe I just need one. but I hope, that I'm gonna have a blast finishing a project soon.

Crossings and Decisions

2012-04-26T22:44:00.002-07:00

A friend asked me to interpret her dream for her on Plurk. When she told it to me, it was long and had too much symbols that it was almost impossible for me to respond through Plurk. With her permission, I have posted it here instead, along with the interpretation.

Of course, I do not claim accuracy in my interpretation. I'm neither schooled or trained in psychology, or dream interpretation. I just have a fondness of interpreting my own vivid dreams and nightmares that made me a little bit more knowledgeable than the average kid. Eventually, friends learned that I can do this sort of thing and have sought advice from me about dreams that have bothered or sparked an interest in them. Friend A from Arashi fandom sent me this message:

A	I was going home from...somewhere, I don't know where. I was in the overpass near our house when I saw Jun first.

A	I asked him "Hey, you're going home already?" and he just gave me a smile. Then he went down one flight of stairs. (In reality that set of

A	stairs doesn't exist in the overpass.)

A	And when I was about to go down the flight of stairs that does exist in our overpass, it was...different.

A	there were two flights of stairs that seemed parallel to each other. One was narrower, only one person can pass through it at a time.

A	I took that set of stairs, but halfway through there was a fork. One led to a slide and the other was more like a ladder instead of stairs.

A	I'm not sure if I saw a child or children go up through that ladder, but either way I chose to go back up where I came from and go back down

A	through the other, wider set of stairs.

A	I decided to change my route walking home a bit. One block before my house, I saw Matsujun curled up on the street, as if he was sleeping.

A	when I got closer, I (actually dared) to feel his arm and I felt he was shivering.

A	I think I tried calling up my dad, but more importantly I hugged Matsujun, hoping he'd wake up and feel better.

A	after a while, his shivering seemed to subside and he finally opened his eyes.

A	I helped him up and helped him walk to our house. I had to support his weight a bit because he still couldn't walk properly.

A	when we got home, i let him sit on our couch. Mom asked him in English "Do you want to eat anything?" and I was all "Mama, he can't speak

A	English." Jun just smiled.

A	/end dream

A	some points to consider din: i was reading a Junba fic before I slept, but none of the scenarios i described was in that fic.

HighPriestessDeksays

give me the first 5 words you think of when you hear matsujun, no cheating, go!

A	diva, gwapo, hard-worker, masungit, short-haired

THE KEY-SYMBOLS AND MEANIGN:

Overpass is a structure meant for crossing roads without the danger of getting run over by moving vehicles. While it is technically NOT crossing a road, the point of an overpass is to get a person to the other side. What does the other side usually hold for us? It depends on each person, and it greatly depends on what one does on "the other side."

At the end of an overpass, one would need to go down to get back to the road. Going down stairs, can mean a visit to the subconscious or one is experiencing setbacks in life.

A was given an option of two stairs, a narrow and a wide one. She took the narrow one first. I know A is slightly religious, and being religious a narrow path can mean hardships with great rewards. A wider path has been socially accepted as an easier path, that, or a more liberating path.

A chose the narrow path at first, subconsciously, this straight and narrow concept is imprinted in Filipino children's minds from birth to forever. In that narrow path, she came across a fork -- which in every form of rhetoric, is a decision one has to make. One leads to a slide and the other to a ladder (children are irrelevant, since she can't remember). A slide means a sense of lost of control. While, a ladder means a way to a higher status or promotion (again with the concept of straight and narrow = rewards). We can see that to A, losing control is the other option to promotions; it's one or the other. (personally, i've always thought losing control comes WITH promotions, that's why one needs great confidence in leading).

A turned back, she wasn't ready for this. She took the wider path, lesser responsibility, more freedom in life.

And then it was followed by the whole story about Matsumoto Jun.

MY INTERPRETATION:

Obviously, A's fear of losing control is greater than her desire to achieve greatness. Obviously, she's not scared of the responsibility, as she went through it twice, progressing and regressing. Taking the wider path is a temporary fix.

As for the scene with MatsuJun, it is merely her repressed emotion rampantly showing itself in her subconscious. Hugging, does mean, repressed emotion in itself.

Someone, give this girl a boyfriend!

2012-04-25T10:37:00.004-07:00

For the first time in the U.S.A., I was trapped in multi-layered dream.

I was a private detective in a small company. We do odd jobs, but, we also do negotiation jobs. I felt, I was more like a Closer, than a Law and Order kind.

I know there were a lot more cases from my dream, it was like watching a TV drama. However, only the last part stuck because of what happened in the end.

There was this desperate black girl. She was a nurse, based on the pink scrubs she was wearing. She had an Afro, and a pink headband wrapped around the Afro. She had pulled a mob boss of mulatto descent in a room of sorts, and I went with her. I was convincing her not to do anything, and I was telling her that retaliation would be severe.

The nurse said, she want her old "something" back. I try to imagine that this gentle young mob boss was even gentler before (the mob boss sounded like Earl Jones Jr.). She took out a syringe and pumped it up with some sort of fine brown powder from a bag -- like brown sugar only as fine as confectionery. Then she jabbed it in the mob boss's veins.

The mob boss's henchmen finally got into the room. The mob boss changed instantly and became the evil boss that he's supposed to be. He held the woman by her neck, and as the nurse's legs dangled and the henchmen stared distracted by what's happening, I grabbed a bucket of water lying around and splashed it all over the henchmen. I ran towards the door, and as I left, I heard the mob boss say to let me go and that they'll deal with me later.

I ran down the stairs as fast as I could and found one of my colleagues (the love interest in my story) waiting for my with his bike (really, it's a bicycle, not the cool motorbike that would be better as a getaway vehicle). We drove off and planned the next steps in this failed mission. I did the pedaling, he did the navigating. My hair being blown by the wind.

DISSOLVE

(told you it was like a movie)

I woke up in my bed, I stood up and caught sight of another figure sleeping with her high heeled red shoes on, on the other bed.

I walked up to it, and found a dead woman and so I ran screaming "help." But what I heard come out of my mouth was a muffled sound of "help." I couldn't pronounce it right. That's when I knew I was sleeping and that I was trapped in a nightmare again.

I kept on screaming the word and I keep on waking up. At one point, I even went back a layer falling asleep in my dream. I continued screaming waking up from one layer of dream to another, hoping that the next time I wake up would be for real. The last layer, I screamed help while walking down the stairs of an old building. Afterwhich, I woke up in my real bed. Or at least, in this plain, or this nightmare where I am in the U.S. struggling to get by alone.

Lezies in Faeland

2012-04-23T12:02:00.003-07:00

It was a place and time where lesbians weren't accepted. It was a place and time where I was a gorgeous androgynous lesbian artist with a magical strap-on.

I had fallen in love with a woman, who looked like Annabella Sciorra, in San Jose, when once I visited my friend and partner-in-crime there. However, I would not be tied down so easily. With my magical strap-on, I wanted to taste the wonderful delights of different women in different places. And being a gorgeous writer wasn't helping much, women were throwing themselves at me.

I lived beside a restaurant, or I was living in the restaurant's compound. I was friends with the man who runs it and he knew I was a woman disguised as a beautiful man. His family knew, and they accepted, thus. I write a play and produce it in the restaurant's compound -- a play inspired by The Little Mermaid.

In the heat of the moment, I had made love with a white woman and it felt so good, she was so eager to please me. For the first time since I received my magical strap on, I had tried to position a woman on top of me. She complained it was a little soft, but she was happy nonetheless.

In the middle of things, a knock was heard from my door. I hear Annabella's voice looking for me. I hear the restaurant man strike up a conversation with her while blocking the view from the open window. He looked at me, his baby in his hands, and asked me should i make her wait in a more comfortable situation. I thanked him and pushed the woman off of me. I shushed her when she started to complain. I told her to take a shower and leave quietly as I distract "my girlfriend". I dressed up, and opened that door. It seems, my friend and partner-in-crime had also arrived and was already conversing with Annabella. I gave my greetings and my thanks, and I lead Annabella to a table with a canopy.

As we were making our way across the restaurant's space, I found another of my "girlfriends" patiently waiting for me in one of the tables, reading her book. She tried to stand up, but I said "You, I will talk to you later" and she sat back down. While driven by curiosity, my friend followed me and Annabella.

I wanted to tell Annabella the truth about my sexuality. If she accepts me, then she was meant for me. If not, at least emotional investments haven't been to great for me to bleed my heart out. We did try to tell them. Even with my friend and partner-in-crime in a dress instead of our usual suit and tie, they didn't believe us. By now, my other girlfriend had joined us in the conversation. She even played with the imaginary balls that seemed to bunch up at my crotch. I covered that part with my hand, embarrassed that my girlfriend have no decency even in public.

In the end, they both said they'd think about it. I expect the other one not to come back. But, I had hoped that Annabella would.

As I crossed back to my apartment, I looked at the rehearsing Little Mermaid on the stage. I looked at her and she was gorgeous in green paint and her stage fins were impressive. I was the director, but I was impressed with my art department.

2PM Date

2012-03-03T21:23:00.001-08:00

Chicken Isaw

As yesterday was the day that Wild at Heart PV came out, of course, I'd dream of them. No Ohno Satoshi, though. Only the younger four.

In this dream, Nino was as usual, my boyfriend. A strict kind of boyfriend. Restricts me from eating junk food. But, in the end he let me eat it anyway. Let me feed him, too. By the way, we were eating Isaw. And we were in the Philippines speaking in Tagalog.

It was actually Aiba's idea. He heard the bell that the street vendor rang, he ran out of the house where we all were just hanging out, while I was contemplating on taking a bath, and called the street vendor's attention. He was jumping repeatedly waving at the vendor.

Pork Isaw

I ran after Aiba, equally excited over the prospect of eating Isaw. Nino, MatsuJun and Sho ran after me. Nino keeps on pulling me away from the vendor. But, I begged and pleaded with puppy dog eyes. Eventually he let me have a pork isaw (In real life, I don't eat pork isaw, just chicken). Beside me, Aiba was happily pigging out on a chicken isaw.

After eating on isaw and Philippine street style barbecue, the four of them told me they have to leave and that they'll all see me at 2pm for Myna's birthday party.

I looked at the clock and it was only 12pm, I can still go to a geek meet up and get back home to get ready for 2pm.

So I went to the meet up, had coffee with the girls. At 1pm, I said my goodbyes to the geek girls; started my way home, hoping that I could get a cab immediately. But, a slight drizzle kept the traffic heavy, and I had to walk all the way to the corner of EDSA. I couldn't find a cab even in EDSA.

Murphy's Law. Just when I was in a hurry to get back and be pretty for Nino.

I woke up and went back to sleep. In the next set of dreams, I did get to go home in time; I did get to take a bath with my lavander Palmolive soap; I did get to put on my make up and gorgeous dress.

When I went to the address where the party was going to be held, it was right beside the coffee shop where I met the geek girls. I told myself, I could have just stayed there and waited.

It all boils down to socializing. I need to get out, I need to meet up with people over a cup of coffee. I also need to have more guts and face my endeavor; ask for help (cab).

I still don't get why Ohno wasn't in there when I was spazzing over him all night while watching Wild At Heart PV. In the end, it was still Nino I'm involved with. Why is that?

Sakurai Otousan's Advice

2012-02-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

I found Sakurai Otousan in front of the TV, having dinner, as our guest. There were a lot of plates scattered around.

Excited, I tried to entertain Sakurai Otousan. I told him all about his own son, how he is in Arashi. And Sakurai Otousan quietly and patiently listened to me.

He stood up and started clearing up the messy plates. He said he'll wash the dishes (my most hated chore, btw). I said, "No, I'll wash the dishes." However, he insisted.

While he was washing the dishes, he told me: that he's happy that I've come to appreciate his son and his friends, and that I support them with all loyalty; that I should have some time for myself and my own goals, to remain equal rather than stay beneath them forever.

Sakurai Otousan finished washing the dishes quietly, in his crumpled suit, in my unfamiliar house supposedly in Japan.

I have no idea what it all means. I do get the message. I just don't get where it came from. Is it something in my head all along? Whose message is this from, really?

Dishes/plates mean ideas. Dirty dishes mean my ideas are all over the place. Someone cleaning it up for me, means that I'm screwed. I've lost touch. I have too much ambition, but no courage to go through with it. Enough with the envy, get on with the work.

Relationships and Dependency

2012-01-18T14:27:00.001-08:00

I remember looking at my naked self in the mirror. One breast was swollen, one nipple was bigger than the other. Surprised by the difference, I checked for more irregularity. I found a third nipple on the swollen breast. When I pinched it, milk came out, or was it pus?

I remember calling She for help. I remember her coming in and taking a look at my breast, and that the breast had sag so low it had become a lump in my belly. She pushed it, pushed it down hard, and I felt the pain that came with it. She cut my back and pushed it out.

I remember staining my top. I remember going to the river to wash it. I remember following a girl who was going to wash her clothes in the river. I remember the river was up to my waist and I borrowed a soap floating around that the other girl used. When I tried to return the soap to the other women washing the clothes, they said it wasn't theirs. No one would claim it. I let it float in the river.

I remember noticing the edge of the river rising. High tide. But it was rising fast. Rising in a hurry. I called everyone's attention and warned them to go up. I remember watching people climbing up the riverbed. I remember waving through the river to reach the bed.
_______________________________________________________________________

I'm growing dependent again. But, right now, I have no choice as my expenses are higher than my income. And with that comes with the feeling of debt.

That's all it means.

Resolutions

2011-10-17T08:00:00.001-07:00

For two days straight, I dreamt of a continuing story about resolving things with Uno.

FIRST NIGHT

He finally sat down and listened to me. He finally accepted the love I have for him. He even listened and understood all excuses I threw at him.

He made a deal with me: I forget the past; I abandon all excuses; we ignore all external influences; we start over, as two people in love. As should have been done from the beginning.

He took my hand and pressed it on his chest. I felt his beating heart, strong but steady. It calmed me down.

He pulled me into his arms, wrapped me in an embrace.

All was quiet. I was at peace.

SECOND NIGHT

Distraction walked my way. Nino came, and swept me off my feet. I was excited and embarrassed, like a shy five-year-old girl being given a Christmas gift by a newly introduced uncle.

I fell for his commanding presence, his charm and his assurance. He didn't promise anything, just made me feel my existence is important.

As we were cuddling on the couch, Uno came in and caught me, in a way, cheating.

Uno turned around quickly and stomped out. I ran after him, apologetic and shaking.

I told Uno that I still wanted him and that I still loved him, but I couldn't let Nino go now that I have him; that I'd understand if he hated me and didn't want to see me anymore.

Uno told me calmly, though I could see him controlling his anger, to go to Nino, enjoy my day with Nino and be back to him by midnight.

I obeyed.

I ran quickly to find Nino with the strong resolve to end things with him. But, I couldn't find him.

I was left torn. Who do I belong with?
_________________________________________

Granted this came out because I had mentioned UNO again in a conversation with ate Jo.

Yet, this wishful thinking is the most relaxing feeling I've had in months.

I still want to see him. But what will come out of it? Would I really have to leave my fangirling behind if UNO comes with me?

++*Faeries and Demons*++

Like We Were In College Together

Choices

Anime team vs Evil Totem Poles

A Dream Convention

The Prize at the Top

Drunken Frenzy

My Own Silent Hill

In Big Bang's Dormitory

A CM Shoot in SEA

Interviewing Arashi

Battle Royal Mystery Solving Dream

Jay in the Elevator

Catching Nino's Attention

My Lesbian Affair with MatsuJun

Laruku Concert

Zombie VS Alien Apocalypse

Sulu Whirlpool

Powerhouse Nap

Crossings and Decisions

Lezies in Faeland

2PM Date

Sakurai Otousan's Advice

Relationships and Dependency

Resolutions

++Faeries and Demons++

Sulu　Whirlpool