In the wild, prodding a porcupine with a stick or by yelling doesn’t work very well…it just makes the porcupine more angry. You risk being on the receiving end of some sharp, painful quills. It’s the same way in our relationships. If you prod a porcupine spouse, teen, or in-law, with your words, things usually don’t go to well. Saying things like “What’s your problem?” just makes them even more mad.  There are better ways to respond.  Kind words or a hug work well. For other responses to these prickly people in your life, visit my blog MarkMerrill.com.

I can tell you firsthand that there are two things husbands really want: respect and adoration.  So if you want to love your husband well, then adore him well. Here are some ways to help you get started.  First, adore him as he is.  Don’t wait until he’s nicer, more patient, or making more money.  It’s important to lay a foundation and adore him right now for who he is.  Second, adore him for what he accomplishes.  Be specific in how you adore him—whether it’s the way he treats you like a lady, the way he taught your daughter to ride a bike, or the way he fixed the plumbing on his own. For more on this topic on my blog go to MarkMerrill.com.

The question is not whether your teen will make a bone-headed or maybe even rebellious decision. The question is how you, the parent, will react. Here are some ways that will guarantee your teen learns absolutely nothing from a bad decision. First, protect them from all painful, uncomfortable, expensive or embarrassing consequences. This will ensure that they will do it again. They’ll think they can do pretty much what they want, when they want, to whom they want, and they won’t feel the heat. Second, show more concern for things than for them. If they get in a car accident, get mad about the car, but show no concern for them or others.   For more on this topic on my blog go to MarkMerrill.com.

As parents, we want to do everything we can do for our kids, but that’s not always best. It’s important to teach our kids to do things for themselves.  So here are some ways to teach your children self-discipline.  First, teach structured routine. Organized and consistent structure breeds discipline. For example, by setting a designated time for homework to be completed each day, the routine will become a natural habit.  Second, teach committed determination.  Show your child that success comes with focus and determination, not distractions and changing emotions.  Third, teach your child the fundamentals. The fundamentals start with character…things like honesty, integrity, courage and love.  These are the virtues that our kids need to learn to live by. For the rest of the 5 Ways to Teach Children Self-Discipline go to MarkMerrill.com. 

Mark Twain once said that “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” Well, the bad news over the years about the institution of marriage has been exaggerated as well. In her book, The Good News About Marriage, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn presents groundbreaking research that reveals the shocking and incredibly inspiring truth. Her research shows first that the actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent. Second, that those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who don’t. And third, that most marriages are happy. To hear my exclusive interview with Shaunti on the Family First podcast, go to MarkMerrill.com. 

When our expectations for our wives become unreasonable, we are really setting our marriages up to falter and perhaps even fail. Here are some unfair expectations husbands should avoid. First, that she always needs you to fix it. Just because Susan tells me about a challenge doesn’t mean she wants me to fix it. She usually knows how to fix something and just wants me to listen to her. Second, you should not just expect that your wife knows you love her. I tell Susan “I love you” every night before we go to bed. So tell her you love her, and tell her often. For more unfair expectations, visit my blog at MarkMerrill.com.

We all want our marriages to get even better. But improvement only comes when we are intentional with our words and actions with our spouse. To become more intentional, here’s a simple checklist of things to do for your wife each year.  First, take a trip alone with her.  Spending time together away from the world is the perfect way to reconnect.  Second, make a big deal about her birthday.  Instead of just celebrating her birthday, celebrate her birth-week!  Third, give her a weekend away with her friends while you watch the kids. Fourth, write her a hand-written love letter. It’s not only good to show her you love her with your actions, but also with your words.  

For more on this topic go to my blog at MarkMerrill.com.