Family Musings

Motherhood and God's Sovereignty

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 18:40:00 +0000

Sometimes, I don't realize how odd I am until I share the inner workings of my brain with other people. They kind of cock their head to the side and look at me, confused or bewildered at what I've just said. Or maybe they are trying to think of a polite way to point out that I am crazy.

As this pregnancy has progressed (I'm now almost 18 weeks along), I've left a few people with tilted heads as I explain my thoughts about motherhood and God's sovereignty. You see, for lots of reasons, I've thought a lot about how I would react if something went wrong. And while I can't be sure until I am in that situation, I know that God is sovereign.

Here is how that is playing out in my mind during my third pregnancy (and where the tilted head might come in)...

Because our family already has 2 daughters, many people have assumed that we are hoping for a boy. This question is mildly irritating when I think about what it implies about Mary (not having been a boy, she isn't good enough, so we are trying again to get that boy that eluded us during the last pregnancy), but I generally overlook it and let the inquisitor know that we truly don't have a preference, that God will give us a son or a daughter as He sees fit.

And until recently, I would have added, "I'll be happy so long as the baby is healthy."

Then, one day early in this pregnancy, as I started to say this out loud, I was stopped in my tracks. All of a sudden, I didn't feel right declaring that I'd "be happy so long as the baby is healthy."

What was I really saying about my God when I declared the gender didn't make a difference in my satisfaction with God, but that the baby's health did?

Go ahead. Tilt your heads. Most people do that at this point in the story. The first time I asked myself this question, I tilted my head too.

If I believe that God is sovereign over the gender of my child, how can I also not believe that He is sovereign over the health of my child? If he is sovereign over one thing, then He is sovereign over all things. I can't pick and choose what I will accept from God. He's an all or nothing kind of God.

Does this mean that I am hoping for a child who has disabilities or health problems? Heck no. Too many times, I have seen friends walk the halls of hospitals, cry over medication choices that aren't working, and give up any leisure time so they can care for their ill child. I'm far too selfish and lazy to make a choice to give myself over to that life on purpose. (As an aside, I do know some families that are specifically called to invite "special needs" children into their family, and they obey because God has given them a special measure of grace and patience for these children and their doctors. Yes, I'm talking about you Dorothy.)

Generally speaking, have you ever heard of the mother of a child with any type of disability who wishes their child hadn't been born at all? Yes, their road is hard, but every one I've ever met will declare, that, through the doctor's appointments, therapies, and surgeries, their child is still a blessing to them, that their child is worthy of all the love and affection a parent would lavish on any healthy child.

To their credit, I have some very good friends who "got it" as soon as I explained where I was coming from. And then, I felt as if I was on the right track when I met the mother of a baby who doesn't have tomorrow promised to him (none of us really do, but his medical condition makes it more obvious to his family). I hesitated to share my thoughts with her because I was afraid of diminishing the pain that she has experienced as she walked through this valley.

But, after I was done explaining the above, she affirmed that not only did she think I was right, but that people didn't realize it was painful to her to hear them say, "so long as the baby is healthy." In her eyes, it diminishes the value of her son to the world.

Ultimately, I want to be content in all circumstances and I want my words to accurately reflect what I believe about God's sovereignty and His role in my happiness.

For that reason, I declare that God is sovereign over both

the gender and the health of my children.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter. Even if you disagree with me or think my logic is flawed. But especially if you have walked the path of an unhealthy child.

PS - My declaration about God's sovereignty doesn't make it true, it is simply a declaration of truth.

Am I Raising a Proverbs 31 Woman?

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 23:09:00 +0000

I have no idea what I am going to do with my 4 year old. I really think that she might be smarter than me. And more compassionate too. Tonight she totally brought me to tears with this conversation that my husband shared on his Facebook page.

Charlotte was bothering Jennifer, asking for so many things so quickly. So, Jennifer said, "Just a minute Charlotte. I'm not Superwoman." Charlotte responded, "Yes you are, Mommy. You extend your hand to the poor." Charlotte actually quoted Proverbs 31 about her mother. We have such an awesome daughter.
"She extends her hand to the poor,

And she stretches out her hands to the needy." (Pro 31:20, NASB)

Lord have mercy on me... I hope I can always live up to her image of me. And that, when I inevitably fail, she extends her compassion towards me. All I meant was that I couldn't do 5 different things at once, which is clearly how I would define a Superwoman. But that didn't matter to her. She defines Superwoman in her own awesome, 4 year old way - biblically. Talk about being schooled!

As her mother I obviously try to instill my values in her, that she might grow up to love Jesus with all of her life. But until tonight, it never really occurred to me raise her according to the description found in Proverbs 31. Reflecting upon my mothering, other than teaching her Bible stories and memorizing scripture with her, I don't think I have intentionally set out to instill these principles in the hearts of my daughters.

Now I feel motivated to work through Proverbs 31 to pull out the main attributes of this "wife of noble character" so I can become more intentional in the training of my children.

If you happen to know of any resources that already do this, feel free to pass them along. Otherwise, I know what I'll be working on this summer.

Happy Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sun, 13 May 2012 19:40:00 +0000

Bruce here, hijacking Jennifer's blog again. Today is Mother's Day. And I thought I share a little bit about my appreciation for Jennifer.

Jennifer and I met in 10th grade history class. And, within one week of meeting Jennifer, I told her that we were going to get married, one day. This is an undisputed fact. But, Jennifer still has trouble believing I really meant it. Of course, she also shook her head "no" when I asked her to marry me 5 years later; she couldn't believe I was serious that time, either. But, I was.

So, why would a 15-year old punk be picking out his future wife? It sure does sound pretty absurd. But, even back then, I knew what kind of woman I wanted to be the wife and mother of my future family. Yes, I was a strange kid.

Years later, when I actually asked her to marry me, I had already planned out our financial future so that I knew we'd be able to make it. I was only 19, at that time, but I knew people, including Jennifer, would wonder about the logic of two college students getting married. So, whenever someone tried to say we wouldn't have any money to pay the bills, I could just reference my long term budget.

I've always thought years ahead.

I knew what I wanted.

I had goals.

And that nice girl in my history class was just what I was looking for.

So, here I am, 19 years after first meeting Jennifer, and I know I made a good choice. See, Jennifer is a great mother. Anyone who knows Charlotte Moon and Mary Mitchell knows what awesome kids they are. (Yes, I'm bragging, but it's true.) And, while I can take partial credit for some of their awesomeness, I have to be honest and admit that most of it comes from Jennifer. She really loves them and teaches them.

From the beginning of each daughter's life, Jennifer has worked to help them understand the world. And, she has helped each girl be a positive influence in the world. And Jennifer has even become a Titus 2 woman, as she ministers to, and advocates for, other moms.

I could go on and on...but suffice it to say that I made a good choice all those years ago. I did some dumb things as a kid, but choosing that sweet girl in history class was one the best decisions I'll ever make.

Happy Mother's Day, Mrs. Jennifer Sabin.

WFMW: Helping a Toddler Use Stickers

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 12:10:00 +0000

Sometimes I impress myself with my brilliance. I have no idea if other moms have discovered this trick to help toddlers use stickers, but I made it up one day out of frustration with helping Mary, 2 1/2 years old, get new stickers to put on her paper. Maybe you've known about this for years, in which case I say to you, why didn't you tell me?!

In order to make sure none of my friends can say I didn't share this amazing trick, here it is:

Pull the non-sticker sticky paper off the page before you let your toddler work with the stickers. It means all they have to figure out is how to get the sticker off, without messing around with the background of the stickers. This is really great for developing fine motor skills too.

And yes, those are princess stickers. Don't judge me. They were on clearance and at the rate Mary uses stickers (a little over 100 on the day I took this picture!) I'm not too picky. They have bug and airplane and dinosaur stickers too though.

Linked up at Works for Me Wednesday hosted by We Are THAT Family.

I eat like a homeless person, and I love it.

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:50:00 +0000

Bruce here. I've hacked into Jennifer's blog to post something. I want to share one of the ways Jennifer makes me proud.

Jennifer's friends might know that our church started a homeless ministry about a year ago. But, what few people know, is that shortly after the ministry started, Jennifer got the idea that one day a week she would cook dinners for the nine homeless people being served by the ministry. And she's continued that for about a year.

Every Tuesday, she cooks a big dinner. Most of it goes to the homeless people. She even packs the food up and drives it the mission. And some of it stays with us and becomes our dinner.

Moreover, she makes really good food for this ministry. In fact, the food is so good that I often joke with her that one of the things I appreciate about her ministry is that it means at least one day each week, I get to eat well.

It's sort of a joke because she does try to cook well for me other times. For example, a few months ago she decided to make Friday nights "guy food" nights. That's when I get some red meat, BBQ, or other guy food.

But, it's not completely a joke. It's true that I look forward to Tuesday night dinners. See, the Sabin family lives on a tight budget. We have vegetarian night, for example, not because we're trying to be healthy, but because meat is an expensive part of dinner. So, I look forward to Tuesdays because Jennifer makes sure the food she makes for the homeless is on the upper end of what she would ever make for our family.

And that's why I've hacked into her blog. I want to publicly praise Jennifer's Christlike attitude in this.

[Jesus] said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”
Luke 14:12-14 (ESV)

When it comes to charity, most people, if they give at all, give from their excess. We donate the older clothes that we don't want anymore, or that we outgrew. We have some money taken out of our paychecks because, we're assured, we'll never even notice it's gone. While all such donations can still help people, they don't represent our savior, "who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" (Php 2:6-8).

Jennifer is giving of herself, taking extra time to cook for 13 people (the 9 homeless and our family of 4), and then she delivers that food, every week. And, in that, she cooks some of the best food we'll eat all week. She doesn't combine vegetarian night with homeless ministry night. She truly gives her best to those who cannot repay her. And she has done this, week after week, since last Fall.

Few people know about this because she doesn't do any of this for her own glory; she does it out of her love for God. And that's why I am proud of her and have been blessed by her.

And while she wouldn't want the glory for this, I feel fine praising her in public. And while Jennifer might be embarrassed by this blog post, I'll gladly accept a little appropriate glory. After all, Solomon once advised young men to look for the woman who's character would bring him glory. The whole "Proverbs 31 Woman" passage hinges on its central thesis:

Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:23 (ESV)

Tonight's mouth-watering baked chicken, seasoned beautifully,
served with twice-baked potato. Scrumptious.

Fun Playdate at Indian Summer Farms

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 18:57:00 +0000

I love finding new places to do cool things in my chosen town. And as active as I am in my community and as much as my husband likes to tell people I'm the "stay at home mom who never stays at home," I still find new places to explore with my kids and friends all the time.

My most recent discovery is a produce stand called Indian Summer Farms. Obviously though, it is more than just a produce stand. I organized a play date there for my MOPS group and for $5 per kid, we had a great time! Here's a peek at what it included:

Feeding the animals in the petting area. Mary had NO fear and walked right up to the goats with her bread. She might have even been a little too bold at moments for this momma!

Hanging out in a unusual play area that included a wider variety of toys in an outside area than I ever expected.

There are also two swinging tires that the oldest kids really enjoyed. Gave one of the moms a pretty good work out trying to get the swings higher and faster!

A few rides on this water barrel train. It carried the kids between the different areas of the farm that we visited. And then at the very end, they got to take one long train ride all the way around the property.

In the middle of all this fun, we did get to pick strawberries. Each girl picked about a bucket's worth and it was included in our cost. I was having so much fun out in the field chasing Mary (not!) that I didn't get to take pictures, but the berries were delicious, both straight off the vine and later that day when we ate them at home.

The playdate ended with some home made ice cream! This might have been the best part for the kids.

Oh, and that strawberry onion next to her ice cream, she picked that. We had never been able to do that before so it was kind of cool to see the onion coming out of the ground.

Some more pics from our fun day at Indian Summer Farms:

Mary is definitely the camera hog these days. She loves posing and smiling for the camera, whereas Charlotte runs the other way when I even suggest I might like a picture of her!

And quite possibly my favorite picture from the entire morning... Mary reacting to the news that it was time to go home:

Have you found a new favorite play date spot? When was the last time you visited some place new with your kids?

It's All About Relationships

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:22:00 +0000

There has been a theme in my life in the past several months. Anyone lucky (?) enough to hear me talk about the problems in the world knows that I always come back to the same solution. I don't intend for things to always turn this way, but it just seems that if people would listen to my advice, the world would be a better place.

That sounds awfully vain. I know. But I am not suggesting something new, even though it might feel radical to some. This idea is biblical and where it is practiced, life improves for everyone (but maybe not before it gets a little uglier).

For me, it's all about relationships. I honestly feel that, if we are willing to engage in honest communication and let the messiness of life spill out of and into us, then so many things would be better in life.

But, what do I mean by "let the messiness of life spill out of and into us"? Good question.

What I mean is, if I am willing to be real with other people and not be scared to get into their messiness, then we'd be in relationship together. And it goes both ways, I have to be real about my struggles and my challenges too.

For example, how is it that we can have churches in America where probably 50% of the people aren't even saved? I'm not talking about those new churches that are genuinely attracting the lost. I'm referring to people who have grown up in church their whole lives, dutifully come to church each week, and then walk out the exact same person they walked in as, week after week after week after week. No amount of music or preaching is ever going to change them.

However, if we were willing to truly be in relationship with these people, and be willing to engage them beyond the 3 hours of "church" on Sunday morning, we might see that they are trying to fill their "god sized hole" with all the wrong things - academics, career, family, community service, exercise, etc... And then, if we are in relationship with them, we can show them how those things are not bad, but that they will never be able to complete them as a human being.

Or consider this example... an unwed girl gets pregnant and the father definitely wants nothing to do with her or their baby. Which serves her better - a picket line at her local abortion clinic or real people who commit to helping her find ways to keep and support her new family? Are we willing to let her come and live with us when her boyfriend/parents kick her out? Are we willing to invite her messiness into our neat world that may already be running smoothly?

One final example... and this one is closer to home than any of the others. What about the moms of young children who aren't sure if anyone else even knows what their days are like. Pick up toys. Wash the dishes. Sweep cheerios. Read "Pokey, Little Puppy" for the hundredth time today. If that mom comes into our church and she is ignored by the other women, she is going to feel hurt. I've been in that position. New to town, no friends, new church. The women who had been there for years looked right past me. Eventually, one person made an effort and that effort made a world of difference.

I could go on and on, as I am sure some of you could too. The lack of genuine community and relationships in the current American culture is abysmal. The fact that it is just as bad within our churches is inexcusable.

My challenge right now is to find other people to be "in relationship" with, to make sure I am putting feet to my idea that life is best lived when we "let the messiness of life spill out of and into us." Are you willing to get real and honest with another person? Will you accept this challenge with me?

A Hole to China

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 01:17:00 +0000

When I was a little girl my family spent a lot of time at the beach. I even had a fringed shirt that said "Beach Bunny" on it!

One of the many activities that kept my attention was digging a hole to China. Did anyone else ever do that? I can't be the only one. Can I?

It occurred to me that no one ever told me I couldn't do it. I don't have a single memory of any grown-up saying that it was impossible to dig a hole through the earth and end up in China.

In my head, I started to form a metaphor about letting kids have dreams and ambitions. About never letting them think anything was impossible and the adults all wishing they could have the hope of a child.

But then, suddenly, I realized why no one ever told me that digging a hole to China is impossible.

Think about it. What reason can you think for not telling a super chatty child that she can't actually dig a hole deep enough and that she'd die from the molten core long before China was even an option?

Yep. Now that I'm a mom, I totally get it. If any of my children ever want to dig a hole to China I'll be happy to let them try while I enjoy the beauty of the beach.

Image: Lisa McDonald / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Cardboard Testimonies

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 23:08:00 +0000

Today, I received an email from my church asking me (and everyone else on the church distribution list) to consider participating in sharing a "cardboard testimony." I've been watching videos of other churches doing this for at least a few years and always hoped I'd get a chance to participate.

Then, this afternoon, given the opportunity, I could barely think of anything to share. Figures! Right now I feel like I am in the middle of finding out what the back of my piece of cardboard ought to say. God is still not finished writing my story and I don't really know how it is going to turn out.

But, I really want to participate, so I did come up with a testimony that is relevant to who I am now and will be sharing it on Sunday, April 29th in my church's evening service. (If you are local to me, that would be Kathleen Baptist Church. Feel free to come and visit!)

Until then, I am watching all sorts of cardboard testimony videos from other churches. Each one of them moves me to tears. It really confused my girls today! I explained that the tears were happy ones because I was watching people share how God had changed their lives. Charlotte can't read yet and kept asking me to tell her what the testimonies said. And if you have ever watched one of these videos before, you know many of them reference porn0graphy addictions, adult.ry, sexu@l abuse, and other sins and hurts that are too much for a 4 year old to comprehend.

I explained that not everyone was as blessed as her to grow up in a home that loved God and that meant they were hurt by bad choices, either their's or someone else's. But that when they flipped the sign, they were saying that somehow, God had made them better, had healed them, or brought someone into their life to make it hurt less.

Finally, after asking me to read every single one, even though I could barely talk because of the tears, Bruce summed it up for her very well. Here is my version of what he said: Everyone has problems. God is there to fix those problems if we trust Him with our deepest hurts and pains. These people had trusted God and experienced freedom and God offers that freedom to everyone.

So it doesn't matter what choices you have made in the past; whether you were the sinner or the one sinned against. God cares about you and wants you to be in relationship with Him so He can heal you. Watch this video with me and see the healing He brought to many others that you can also be yours if you just ask for it.

The Value of Popularity

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 23:38:00 +0000

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about how Charlotte fits in with her peers. In part this is because I hadn't been certain that we would home school her and she might end up at the local elementary school.

Right now, when I observe Charlotte with her peer group, I think she's a bit socially awkward. She isn't as concerned with personal space as others and is overly enthusiastic for even the small things. It kind of makes me cringe a little when I see them react to her excitement over something they don't consider a big deal.

After exploring the issue of her social behavior a little more, I've decided it is important to me because I want Charlotte to have a better social experience growing up than I did.

If my memory is correct, I was "popular" until 4th grade. I had lots of friends, don't remember being the object of teasing or bullying, and faintly recall creating an exclusive club for my friends and I to join. However, once 4th grade started, I was in a different school and didn't have any social capital to build on. Then, after 9 weeks, I was in another school. Same story. Moving onto 5th grade, I was in yet another school.

By the end of 5th grade, my family moved to a new city. At the beginning of summer. To a neighborhood with hardly any kids, let alone any my own age. To their credit, my parents enrolled my brother and I into a summer camp, but there were enough days at home that summer and the next that the entertaining myself with food started to affect my body shape.

So, lucky me, I got to start 6th grade as an overweight newcomer, in the special program for "gifted" kids. You'd have thought they would all be uncool together, but that wasn't really the case. Even in our class of 20 or so students, there was still a hierarchy of coolness. I was not even on the scale.

Fortunately, it wasn't all doom and gloom. I made friends, some of whom I still talk to until this day (Hi Michelle & Jennifer!) But from that point forward, I never really fit in. In fact, I don't think I really fit in anywhere until I was in my 30's (Thanks MOPS!). Seriously. It took me that long to work my life out so people enjoyed being around me, or at least tolerated my bad habits long enough to see the good in me.

And in between 6th grade and 30? There was a lot of teasing and a lot of bullying and a lot of being lonely.

Everything in me wants to protect Charlotte and Mary from that life experience. Is that a realistic desire? No, but it doesn't change what I want for them.

Luke's post about the "Popular Kids" prompted me to explore more of what I want for my daughters. I asked my daughter's Sunday School teacher to share with me what she saw as Charlotte's strengths and weaknesses. And what she told me made me feel a little better. While she kind of hedged on the weaknesses as being typical of a 4 year old, she also observed that Charlotte is extremely compassionate and knows how to manage her emotions well by walking away from a conflict instead of escalating it.

That made me really proud of Charlotte. I realized that even if her peers consider her a little odd because of her enthusiasm for animal crackers, it's okay. Because even though I want to protect her from unkind looks and "mean girls," at the end of her life, I'd much rather she have spent her time worrying about helping others than fitting in.

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.' Matthew 25:37-40

Sharing the Love: Counting the Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 12:53:00 +0000

Do you ever read someone else's blog post and really, really wish you had written it? Not in a jealous, "I want to be better than you way," but in a "I've been there and I know that feeling" sort of way.

Recently, I've had so many things going on that blogging has fallen to just the bare minimum, just the posts that I've made outside commitments to write. As that trend continues, I want to send you over to Five in Tow to read her post "Counting the Hours."

This particular quote described me perfectly after I had Mary:

With all the hours counted, I knew just how tired I could be, or irritated, or unproductive. I knew how much to require of other people and how much to coddle myself. I knew what I could or could not do.

Ok, I confess, I started doing this after Charlotte was born! I began to idolize sleep. I told anyone who would listen that all of my problems would be solved if I could just get a full night's sleep. It wasn't true then, and it isn't true now. And letting go of that belief was very freeing for me. Refusing to let sleep be an idol was one of the best parenting decisions I ever made.

If you are a mom of young children, I guarantee Kristen's Counting the Hours will move you to tears. Especially if you are sleep deprived. (You are more weepy when you are sleep deprived like me, right?)

Review: Glade® Expressions™

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 04:00:00 +0000

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Triad Retail Media. All opinions are 100% mine.

I like it when my home smells yummy. And I also like trying scents that are not typical. Lavender is nice, but the new Glade® Expressions™ fragrance mist scent of Lavender & Juniper Berry is just different enough to keep it interesting. For me, this is a good scent to have in my bedroom.

As I was getting ready to write this post, I probably looked pretty silly smelling the 4 different scents from Glade®, making mental notes about what I liked about each one.

Of all the new scents (there are 4), my favorite was Cotton & Mandarin. It was fresh, citrusy, and reminded me of when we used to live surrounded by orange groves. I think that has to be one of the best smells ever. Well, that and fresh baked bread.

The other two scents are Fuji Apple & Cardamon and Pineapple & Mangosteen. I liked the apple based scent but the pineapple one was weird to me. I don't think the smell of pineapple fits me or my homes style. Maybe if I were having a tropical themed party though...

Glade® says their scents are long-lasting and the new Glade® Expressions™ oil diffuser lasts 30 days without electricity. So that means, even though the packaging is attractive, if it doesn't suit your needs, you can hide it anywhere. It also means that I don't have to worry about little kids playing with it, since I can place it up high, away from the outlets.

Glade® also offers a fragrance satisfaction guarantee. Just go to that link and follow the instructions if you are not satisfied with the scent.

You can also get a $2 off Glade® Expressions™ fragrance mist coupon and a $1.50 off Glade® Expressions™ oil diffuser coupon to use on your next purchase.

I Need Your Advice

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 18:44:00 +0000

Next week, we'll try once again to enjoy a family camping trip. Try being the operative word!

You see, our first family camping trip, way back when we only had 1 kid, was not quite as idyllic as we had hoped. Then, about a year later, Bruce decided to take Charlotte on a father-daughter trip. That camping adventure ended when they came back home at 9 pm so she could sleep in her own bed.

So, this is where you dear reader and friend come in!

What is your best tip for camping with a preschooler and toddler? Advice on getting them to sleep in a new, noisier place? Easy recipe that can be made ahead of time but is still real food?

I'm Not Here Today

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 16:12:00 +0000

Today, you can find me bragging on my wonderful hometown in Family Friendly Places in Lakeland, published on Lakeland Local.

I didn't even scratch the surface of family things to do in Lakeland and hope that this is the first of many articles about this awesome family friendly town.

Please take a moment to hop over and check it out! Thanks.

Praying for Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 19:49:00 +0000

I hadn't expected to post again so quickly, but my friend Brandy shared a story that is too heartbreaking to not share with others.

Ashley is a surrogate who is 21 1/2 weeks pregnant. An ultrasound revealed a cleft lip and palate. These are conditions easily fixed with surgery however, the intended parents want her to terminate the pregnancy.

I don't understand all of the legal ins and outs of how surrogacy works, but how can it be right for them to force her into having an abortion?

I am sure there has to be a way to get out of this situation. It might even cost this family thousands of dollars to repay her fees to the intended parents. Does any one know how to help her? Either to get out of the contract, to convince the intended parents to change their mind, or to meet the financial needs this family will surely have if she breaks the contract and is sued?

Please pray for intended parents up that they might reconsider and make a different choice.

Please pray for the surrogate mother that she will make a choice that honors life.

Abort73.com: Abortion Unfiltered

EDIT: I updated the gestational age of the baby up above. I heard from a woman tonight who has the resources to help Ashley find help and that info has been forwarded onto Ashley. Please continue to pray for this situation as it will likely unfold rapidly over the next several days.

Public Service Announcement: Dryer Vent Cleaning

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 18:39:00 +0000

Does your dryer take extra long to dry? Like more than 30 minutes to dry a regular load? Mine used to. In fact, sometimes it would take nearly 2 hours my dryer to get the job done.

Finally, I decided to do something about it. I called a local dryer vent cleaning service and this picture shows just a small part of what they found at the top of my dryer vent. Apparently, the builder of our 2-story town home added these metal shields to prevent debris from falling into the vent. Well, guess what? It also prevented proper venting.

Before I was a mom and before I was a teacher, I was a claims adjuster. I knew before I was even a home owner that clogged dryer vents are one of the leading causes of home fires. You'd think I'd know better. Apparently I didn't.

Please, please, please call and have your dryer vents cleaned. You can just google it with your city name and it will probably find several choices for you. Mine cost $89, though they offered discounts if neighbors had it done at the same time. I've heard it suggested that you can recover this cost in your electric bill because you won't be running your dryer as long. If that happens for us, great. But at least I know that I've taken an important step in protecting my family and my home.

Mary's Getting Picky

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:31:00 +0000

I offer this conversation as evidence of Mary's on going improvement in the area of speech.

Me: Mary, don't pick your nose.

Mary: Me no pick my nose?

Me: That's right.

Mary: Me pick Mommy nose?

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you.

I hope you made a good pick!

(PS. You still have time to finish The Husband Project. Be sure to comment and enter to win one of the great prizes!)

The Husband Project - Day 5

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:37:00 +0000

Y'all are amazing. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I have been by reading your comments and seeing how you are expressing your love for your husbands. If you've been doing the project with us, but not commenting, take time now to do so. Not only will you encourage other wives, but you'll also be able to enter the drawing for all the great prizes listed below.

In case you missed it, here are links to the rest of the Husband Project assignments: Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4. Also, if you want more Husband Project inspiration, check out Kathi Lipp's blog, or buy her book.

For the last day of our short blog project, I want you to let your husband know directly what you think of him.

You remember what flirting is, right? Even if you've been married a really long time, you should still flirt with your husband. So, today, send him an email or text message saying something nice and, if maybe a little saucy. For the more adventurous among you, consider sending him a photo of you pretty smile or other feature he admires.

Here are Kathy's tips about how to execute today's assignment:

Use an e-card service (hallmark.com or americangreetings.com) to send a cute and flirty note.
Don’t know how to text? Ask any teenager in the general vicinity.
Most phones have a camera feature where you can send a photo message. Be sure to keep it G rated so that he doesn’t get in trouble at work.

You don't have to leave a comment letting me know what you said. But if you want to be entered to win one of the prizes listed below, then be sure to fill out the Rafflecopter form. I'm going to leave it open for the rest of the week in case anyone joined us a little late and needs time to plan or accomplish all five tasks.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Making Dinner Time Special

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:27:00 +0000

On a typical night, dinner is a pretty casual affair. I make something. We eat it. The mess gets cleaned up (eventually). And it is typically over in about fifteen to twenty minutes. About as long as it takes me prep and make dinner most nights.

Sometimes, I like to make dinner time more special by making fancy food. You know, things that require sauteing and deglazing and stuff. But I don't always have time for all that. Other times, it is easier to make a simple meal, and dress it up. That is what I did for a recent dinner.

In this case, I took a simple meal of soup, salad, and warm bread and treated it like a restaurant meal. When the family came home I immediately welcomed them to the "Sabin Restaurant" and led them to their seats. I used a cheery, over the top greeter voice to set the tone. I also let the girls use my Fiestaware and cups without lids (BIG deal in my house!). I busted out my Crate & Barrel cloth napkins and my favorite Pandora jazz channel was playing quietly in the background to establish some ambiance.

I also thought of some conversation topics more interesting than, "tell me about your day." The best part of the conversation was between Mary and I.

Me: If you could be any animal, what would you be?
Mary: (without hesitation) Mon-ee (monkey)
Me: Why would you want to be a monkey?
Mary: Ing (swing, which she also signed)

She really is the most hilarious 2 year old I know!

Now, back to the food... The soup was chosen for me. It is a newer product called Bertolli Meal Soup that is purchased from the frozen food section. I chose the Roasted Chicken with Rotini Pasta flavor. It was easy to make on the stove top and honestly had the taste of homemade soup. But don't lie and say you made it yourself. Because if you do that, your next bite will be too hot and you'll burn your tongue. Or something like that.

Bertolli gave me a challenge to "make dinner special" in 60 minutes or less. Ha! I did it in less than 30 minutes. This is what I started with, a messy table covered with stuff that belonged some where else.

And this is what my family came home to.

Charlotte really got into the idea that we were dining at the "Sabin Restaurant," and insisted on being referred to as a guest. She also kept referring to me as "owner."

As for the soup... it was really good and more filling than I expected it to be. Flavor wise, this is definitely comparable to some of the best soups I've been served in restaurants. I even caught Bruce spooning the broth left in his bowl (no, not that kind of spooning!). This is highly unusual for him because the broth is often his least favorite part of the soup. (Yes, he's odd like that.) The only drawback for me is that it cost almost $7 for a bag, which serves 2 people. They are generous servings and more than you'd find from a canned soup, but this is still a pricey convenience item if you ask me.

In case you are interested in trying this yourself, I am giving away a coupon for a free bag of Bertolli Meal soup as part of the 5-part Husband Project. You can enter to win by participating in the challenge at least one day.

How do you make dinner time special?

Also, you can learn more about the Bertolli Meal Soups via the Bertolli website, Facebook or Twitter.

FTC Disclosure: I did receive free soup and compensation for this post. All opinions are my own (or Bruce's) and I really did burn my tongue on my soup.

The Husband Project - Day 4

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 12:26:00 +0000

It's been 3 days since we started this project together. Isn't Kathi Lipp amazing for coming up with such simple ways for us to connect with our husbands? In her book, the full project is 21 days plus bonus projects that will really blow your husband out of the water. Trust me, even if you have a good marriage, it can always be better. I highly recommend you consider buying the book even if you don't win the giveaway.

Someone once asked me if this was similar to The Love Dare. I haven't read that book, but based on what I saw in the movie, I'd have to say yes, but... The Husband Project is much simpler. There is no need for dramatic moves like spending your life savings. Almost all of the projects can be done without spending any more money than you might normally do in the course of serving dinner to your family. Plus, The Husband Project is hilarious. Kathi Lipp is truly one of the funniest people I know.

Today's project is meant to remind you that sometimes the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

There's a good chance you are the one primarily responsible for planning, making, and serving dinner to your family. And there's a good chance you make casseroles and salads and other "lady food" that your husband eats because he's hungry and it is in front of him. You probably make the best tuna casserole on the block. But for most men, that is not going to cut it. That is not man food. (Yes, I'm relying on a stereotype. It exists for a reason... most men would prefer a juicy burger and steak fries to a tuna casserole.)

For Bruce, since starting the Husband Project last fall, I've tried to serve "Man Food" once a week. That means hot wings, hamburgers, meatloaf, fried chicken... all of his favorite foods. Foods that cost a little more to prepare because they are heavy on the meat. Foods that make up for Meatless Monday and Salad Tuesday.

Kathi encourages us to think outside the box and shows other ways to accomplish today's project.

Get his favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s and hide it behind the frozen chicken. Even if you buy it on Tuesday, you’ll have it ready and waiting for his special night later in the week.
Is there a certain cut of meat that your husband loves? How about having the butcher cut something just for him? Most supermarkets will even do the marinade for you – one less thing to think about.
Is there a certain candy that your husband loves from his childhood? Check out www.candywarehouse.com. They have all the nostalgic candy you could want (Black Jack Gum, anyone?) while also carrying any modern favorite you could be looking for.
My husband’s family loves something called “noodles and mashed potatoes” (we lovingly refer to it as “The Starch Fest”). I learned how to make this special dish just for him.
My guy loves the smell of baking almost as much as he enjoys eating the treat. Have some brownies in the oven when he gets home from work or working out. (I know, it negates the workout, but isn’t chocolate always worth it?)
Our friend Scott mentioned that he loves cranberry sauce, but eats it only at Thanksgiving. His wife intentionally made the holiday treat for him this past July.
Are you a wife who is an expert at low-cal salads and other forms of chick-food? Check out The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com for ideas

How are you going to declare your culinary love for your husband? What special treat is going to be all his today? Leave a comment to let us know and then make sure to complete the rafflecopter form to be officially entered to win one of several great prizes!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Review: Tiecoon.com

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:55:00 +0000

If I receive a product to review that I'm not absolutely thrilled with, I usually beg off the review with a polite email to my contact. Generally speaking, I only share items with you that I really like.

But this time, since I had already listed the prize as part of my Husband Project, I felt obligated to carry on with the review.

So I started thinking about how I could share this with you in a way that would make you excited to win the prize. So, here's my review of the Tiecoon.com Jon Vandyk striped navy tie and hanky that I received.

This tie is great for the following things:

kid's dress up (because it's cheap)
messy men (because it's polyester)
woman's accessory (because you can only pull this look off so many times)
photo prop (because who needs a silk photo prop?)

So, if you need a tie for any of those reasons, then Tiecoon.com is a reasonable choice. Shipping for 1 tie was about $4 to my house, but your mileage may vary. Plus, the variety of their tie selection is pretty impressive.

Remember, if you want a chance to win 1 of 4 $25 Tiecoon gift cards, be sure to participate in The Husband Project. I've already got the first 3 days posted so you still have some time to get in it to win it!

FTC Disclosure: I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.
<a href="http://www.tomoson.com/?code=CONTESTab739b9148fc66c94472053de864b77e">Sponsored by Tomoson.com</a>

The Husband Project - Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:35:00 +0000

2 days down ladies! What are your husband's thinking? I've heard from so many of you who said this project came at just the right time. Doesn't it feel good to do things that make our husbands feel good? I'm glad you agree. Let's see what Kathi Lipp has come up with for day 3 of our blog project!

Oh, this is an easy one, especially if you are both active on social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter. Heck, if you have a blog, why not write a post about him and make sure to leave your screen open so he sees it.

My husband's love language is words of affirmation so this is a pretty important project for me. I wish I could tell you his love tank is always full because of the loving words I use to and about him. But that isn't the case. The Husband Project is as much for me as it is for any of you.

I know not everyone likes their husband all of the time, but here are Kathi's suggestions for finding something nice to say about him.

Who are the important people in your husband’s life? Your kids, his parents, his friends? Be intentional about who you chat with when you brag on him – it’s almost as important as actually doing it. Having a hard time coming up with something? I still brag on my guy for things he did years ago. He loves when I tell the story of how brilliantly he proposed (there were waterfalls and stuffed portabella mushrooms involved…). Here are some other areas to think about when crafting your brag:

His parenting skills

His patience level

The way he treats your mom

His culinary ability

His job

His loyalty to you

I really like the advice about using something from year's ago. Of course, you can't do this EVERY time you say something nice about him, but it can remind you of earlier times and help you recapture some of that experience. Life can be draining and remembering the good times is a great way to get through the hard times.

Leave a comment and let me know how you bragged on your husband. And make sure to keep track of your giveaway entries via the Rafflecopter widget below! That's how I'll be choosing a winner of all the great prizes!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Memorable Gifts

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:41:00 +0000

When I was a little girl, my family experienced the unpleasantness of divorce. As is normal in these situations, every one hurt and mourned for what was lost. Of course, I can't speak for anyone's experience but my own. And I know that it hurt. It was hard to be separated from one parent or the other on opposite weekends.

But I always remember something my mom did to make it a little easier. She gave me a bear. It was a small stuffed bear with rainbow fur. And she told me that the rainbow was a promise that things would get better.

My mom has always been a good gift giver. She's thoughtful and likes to think about how the recipient will use the gift. I try to be like her in this way.

This month, DaySpring (in)spired Deals helped me give a special gift to my husband. They sent me this set of Mr. & Mrs. mugs. What makes these thoughtful is that the inside rim is printed with "I found the one my heart loves. Song of Solomon 3:4"

We have a lot of coffee mugs around here, but most of them are of the plain or promotional variety. It is nice to drink out of this cup a few mornings a week (because let's be honest, it's not always cleaned right away) and feel a smile sweep over my face not because my coffee is good (it is), but because I am reminded about the good man who paid for my coffee.

If you'd like the chance to win a $35 gift certificate to DaySpring so you can pick out the perfect gift, be sure to participate in the Husband Project this week.

What about you? What is the most treasured or memorable gift you’ve received or given?

FTC Disclosure: I received a Mr. & Mrs. gift package in exchange for this review. All opinions are my own.

The Husband Project - Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:17:00 +0000

Let me just say I had fun reading your comments from Day 1 of the Husband Project. I am sure some of your husbands were shocked at the extra 30-minutes they suddenly had on their hands. Of course, some of you are already on this and it is part of your regular family routine.

For day 2, we are going to reconnect with something our husband's did before we got married.

This might be a tricky one, so if you need all weekend to make it happen, go right ahead. It was mostly easy to figure out how I wanted to do this assignment because my husband loves motorcycles. He has been riding since he was 15 and a motorcycle has been his primary form of transportation for almost our entire marriage. At least once a year he takes off on his bike for a 2-5 day trip and has been some pretty amazing places.

While I am not yet ready for him to go off on a 3-4 week Alaskan motorcycle trip, I do want to make sure he enjoys his motorcycle as a hobby and not just a form of transportation. For this project, I did two things. First, I suggested a day trip on his motorcycle by himself since we weren't in a position for him to be gone the whole weekend. And I also asked if we could ride the bike on a date night after we dropped the girls off at a friend's house. We circled back to our place and hopped on the bike, just like we did before we were married or had kids.

Kathi Lipp, the author and creator of The Husband Project, offers this creative advice for how to make today's assignment work in your marriage:

Many a man’s hobby has gone by the wayside due to matrimony. Is it possible that it’s time you learned to golf or fly fish? Don’t try to beat him, just join him.
Possibly the only thing your husband would enjoy more than playing chess with you is teaching you how to play chess. Ask for a lesson so he can teach you something that he is an expert at (or really loves). Just your willingness to learn will be a huge boost to your guy.
Pick up a magazine about your guy’s now dormant hobby. Ask him questions about why he loves it so much. Learn a couple of technical terms so that you are better able to discuss it.
Do a little research. Find out what the definitive website is on your husband’s favorite subject. Maybe there’s an event in town, a lecture to attend, or a game to watch.

Now, I want you to leave a comment with your plan for making Project Day 2 happen. Then, be sure to fill out the rafflecopter to enter to win lots of great goodies!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The Husband Project - Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Jennifer) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:44:00 +0000

I am not a perfect wife. I make mistakes and get selfish. I put my own needs above my husband's needs plenty. Last Spring I was looking for some help in changing this and my friend Shawna Lee suggested The Husband Project. I took her advice and it worked to adjust my attitude towards one of service towards my husband and not one of entitlement. I finally feel ready to share it with all of you and invite you to do it with me.

The only reason I feel confident sharing this advice with you is because I know it works. And I know it works because I have done everything I am going to share with you. I've seen the change in my house when I do these things and it was good.

We are going to take a 5-day journey together. Five days of loving our husbands intentionally in ways that mean something to them. This won't be about us and our needs, it will be about meeting 1 of his needs each day. Each day I'll share 1 "project" that we will do together. I'll share how it worked out for me and my husband and ask you to do the same. There will be happy times. There will be frustration. There will be lots of love. AND, there will be prizes! You have to play along at least 1 day to be eligible to win the prizes.

Let me introduce you to my friend and the creative genius who came up with this idea - Kathi Lipp. She wrote the book that makes husband's every where happy - The Husband Project - 21 Days of Loving Your Man on Purpose and with a Plan. Our 5-day project was designed by her to introduce this idea to as many wives as possible. At the end of the project, I'll be giving away a copy of this book along with lots of other goodies!

Let's get started with the first project! Try to do this tonight if you can.

Would he like to be left alone to rest and rejuvenate, or does he want some undivided attention from you? What would show him you value his work and want him to feel like home is a safe place?

My husband has a 50 minute commute home at the end of his day. He spends all day with 7th graders and really needs that quiet time on his motorcycle to help ease his transition. Does that mean he is ready to deal with cranky, hungry children when he walks in the door? No. So, every now and again, I let him know in the morning that when he comes home, I want him to head straight upstairs to decompress for 30 minutes or so.

Already, some of you have come up with all sorts of excuses as to why you just can't do this. That's okay. Kathi has suggested some ways you can make this work for you, even if hubby works from home:

My friend, Joann, purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.

One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)

Crockpots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crockpot to be finished thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know that you don’t need anything until dinner is ready. Don’t know a crockpot from a flower pot? Check out the recipes in The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com.

Does your husband already have a great transition routine after getting home? Find some other little thing to bless that time. Maybe it’s making sure the TV is available, his favorite sweats are clean and ready to be changed into, or there’s a cold soda waiting for him in the fridge. It may be so small that he doesn’t even notice. That’s okay – you’ll know what you did.

What if your husband works from home? Maybe the best way to help him relax is to ask what he would like the schedule to be. Does he want dinner before or after he gets some time to recharge? Ask him what would make his night better.

So there's your assignment for today - bless your husband with 30 minutes of his transitional time to do with as he pleases. You don't have to do it every day. Just one day. Just 30 minutes.

Leave a comment to let me know how you plan to complete this assignment. Or if you've done it already, how did it go? Do you have any tips or advice for other wives? Each comment counts towards an entry into a great prize pack that I'll reveal more of as the days go by.

a Rafflecopter giveaway