Far Out Shirts

New Shirt: Hello Cthulhu

2009-06-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

Phase One was to win the hearts of a worldwide army of weak mortals, all in the guise of cuteness, pinkness and kitty-ness. The use of a bow on one ear and an array of equally cute "friends" aided in achieving this feat of near-universal psychological dominion.

Now -- Phase Two. The stars and the earth are once more ready for Them, ready for a glorious resurrection. All the earth will flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom!

New Sale Shirts

2009-06-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

Word has come down from Central Galactic Command: ADJUST UNIT PRICING IMMEDIATELY.

Please be enjoying these monetary savings.

Ninjas Killed My Family - now starting at just $8! While supplies last.

I Spell Fun D-&-D and I Spell Fun R-P-G - reductions continue to the substrate-bottom price of $5! While supplies last.

Level 70 - this retro World of Warcraft shirt can belong with your possessions for merely $8! While supplies last.

And finally but certainly not insignificantly, two "classics" from the genre of science-and-fiction, reduced for only a limited time: Trekkie and He's Dead, Jim - both now just $15! No limit.

Please recall: all sale items can be found on the sale item page.

New Shirt: Rekall

2009-03-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

Do you dream of a vacation at the bottom of the ocean?
But you can't float the bill?

Have you always wanted to climb the mountains of Mars?
But now you're over the hill?

Then come to Rekall, Incorporated. Where you can buy the memory of your ideal vacation. Cheaper, safer and better than the real thing. So don't let life pass you by. Call Rekall. For the memory... of a lifetime.

Inspired by the 1990 classic sci-fi movie Total Recall.

The Case of the Missing Sizes

2009-02-17T10:12:00.000-08:00

We discovered last night that inventory errors in our database were keeping a bunch of our shirts from being listed as available in some sizes. These sizes included women's small, 3X-Large and 4X-Large.

That is, we do offer those shirts in those sizes — we even have stock on hand for most of them — but the size dropdown on those pages didn't list them that way.

So if you've ever wanted a particular shirt of ours, but it didn't look like we had your size, you should check again.

Though we offer the full range of sizes on most of our shirts, we unfortunately still aren't able to offer all sizes for all shirts at this time. It's simply a matter of whether we can get those sizes from our wholesaler in the color we want.

If there's ever a shirt you want in a size that we don't have, let us know, and we'll see what we can do!

Super Duper Mega Hyper Giga Mondo Monster Sale

2009-02-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

This is the first time we've done a large scale sale like this: we've put more than half our shirts — 45 in total — on serious sale: just $10 each! (2XL, 3XL & 4XL are slightly more.)

All kinds of shirts are included in this gigantic sale: movie shirts, gamer shirts, geek shirts, and of course, the just plain far out. But act soon: these prices are only good between now and Feb. 14!

Tell a buddy, bring a friend: it's the Far Out Shirts Super Duper Mega Hyper Giga Mondo Monster Sale!

Far Out Tweets

2009-01-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

We invite you to follow us on the Twitter, if you swing that way.

Big news will still always be posted to this blog and sent via the email newsletter. On the Twitter feed, we'll post more non-site-related stuff: other shirts (from other sites, *gasp*!), geek culture, etc. You can see the 3 latest tweets over there on the right-hand side of this page.

Try it.

Spelling Problems with Little Lebowski Urban Achievers

2009-01-06T19:23:00.000-08:00

There's plenty of embarrassment to go around on this one. Somehow, we all missed this, from the designer to the printer: it's spelled "achievers", not "acheivers". Ugh!

Our mistake is your chance to get a bargain: this misprint is going for just $5. While supplies last! Maybe if you hang out with poor spellers, nobody will ever notice...

To customers who ordered & received this misspelled version of the shirt: too bad! It was misspelled in the picture, and that's exactly what you got, suckers! Just kidding, just kidding: we'll be getting in touch with you to make it right. If you have any questions, just contact us.

(We do have the corrected version of the shirt, too.)

Printing Problems with Donnie's Deadline

2009-01-06T18:23:00.000-08:00

After trying every trick in the book, we've finally admitted defeat on getting our Donnie Darko inspired Donnie's Deadline shirt printed.

We wanted it to look like this:

But as you can see in these photographs of the final shirt, the closest we could get was this:

(click to see full size)

We still want to have a shirt that pays homage to Donnie Darko, one of the coolest cult-classic movies in modern cinema, but we're going to have to go back to the drawing-board for one that will print right.

Until then, you can pick up the result of our less-than-successful experiment for the rock-bottom price of $5. While supplies last!

To customers who already bought Donnie's Deadline: we know you didn't get the shirt you thought you were getting. We'll be getting in touch with you to make it right. If you have any questions, as always, you're welcome to contact us.

Christmas Deadline: 12/19

2008-12-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

The very very most lastest day to order from us and get your shirts by Christmas is this Friday, Dec. 19.

That's for orders to be shipped within the United States only. We'll ship foreign orders as quickly as possible, but cannot guarantee they'll arrive by Christmas.

Guarantee
If you order Far Out Shirts on or before Friday, Dec.19, to be shipped anywhere within the United States, we'll refund your shipping charge if you don't receive your shirts by Thursday, Dec. 25.

Bye, Edith

2008-12-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

The weird posts by "edith", functionary of the secret one world government, disappeared from our blog sometime last night. I'm not sure if she was found out, or moved elsewhere, or what. Probably she just didn't have the time or determination to keep up a bizarre scheme like that. In any case, from here on out it will just be shirt stuff. We hope.

Speaking of shirts, don't forget we have them for sale. Apparently there's some big holiday coming up, which includes a lot people exchanging gifts with each other. Please remember that T-shirts, ours in particular, make excellent gifts.

Far Out Sale Shirts

2008-11-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

We're excited to announce a new section of the Far Out Shirts site: the sale page.

Our first batch of sale shirts are some real steals, with prices starting at $12. That's more than 35% off our usual price of $19! They include "Minimum Flair" for Office Space fans, "Ninjas Killed My Family" for ninja-raised orphans, and more.

These are clearance items, so act soon. Once they're gone, they're gone for good!

New Shirt: Donnie's Deadline

2008-09-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

If a Tangent Universe occurs, it will be highly unstable, sustaining itself for no longer than several weeks.
28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.

New Shirt: Little Lebowski Urban Achievers

2008-09-03T19:07:00.001-07:00

These are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak. Racially, he's pretty cool, you might ask? No, no, no. They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers. Inner city children of promise, but without the necessary means for a higher education.

"R.P.D.M.": Far Out Shirts Design In Movie

2008-08-05T16:57:00.000-07:00

Here at Far Out Shirts, our involvement with movies is usually limited to making designs inspired by them. So we were excited to be contacted by independent filmmaker Mark Harris of Desperate Comfort Films about using an image from one of our shirts in a short film.

The film, finally done and fresh from winning 2nd place in a film festival in Los Angeles, is great. You can't miss our shirt design, which is from Cthulhu For President, one of our most popular shirts.

NOTE: The film is unrated, but is definitely "not suitable for work". I'd hazard to guess that if it were rated by the MPAA, it would be in the "R" neighborhood (drug use, violence, brief nudity; all that good stuff).

That disclaimer out of the way, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present: R.P.D.M.

Everyone Welcome Edith

2008-07-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hi, everybody. Chris from Far Out Shirts here. I tried to log in yesterday to write a short post, and found our blog had a, um, new guest author. "Edith," who works for the secret one world government, or something like that.

It also had a new password, and I couldn't log in. Great, I thought. We've been hacked.

So I tried to send this Edith person an email, but it bounced. And before I even had time to finish double-checking the address, I got another email. It had no sender or reply-to addresses, and no routing information.

Here's the full contents of the message:

dude, don't waste my time. if you want access back to your zero-audience blog, log in as [REDACTED], password [REDACTED]. but don't mess with me.

edith

Sure enough, the login worked. But I didn't have any administrative access to the blog anymore; I could only post stories, and edit the ones I posted. Totally unacceptable.

I didn't know how she got that bounced email before, but it seemed like somehow I could communicate with her that way. So I wrote another, angrier message. I think I threatened to close the account if I had to. Anyway, that was a big mistake, though I didn't realize it until later. At the time, all I got was another message. Again, it came immediately and had no sender information at all. All it said was, "dude, seriously. what did i tell you?".

Half an hour later, my cell phone went dead. I called AT&T from a landline, but despite spending an hour and a half on the phone with them, they couldn't find any trace that I'd ever had an account with them.

On my drive home that night, I was stopped and ticketed four times. And when I got home, I found my city water bill, in an envelope postmarked two days ago, was for $17,543. It also said that the name of my "personal customer account manager" was -- you guessed it -- Edith. Though it was printed on my bill as "edith", all lowercase, like she writes.

I got the hint. Edith, enjoy the blog. I'm still a little hurt that she thinks our blog is so obscure that she could publish humanity's deepest, darkest secrets here.

Oh well. At least it'll be updated occasionally now, I guess.

P.S. The post I was going to write yesterday wasn't much, anyway. Just a link to this guy's Teach the Controversy shirts. Making fun of this "intelligent design" bullshit, they're just really funny and well-done. Hats off to you, Jeremy Kalgreen. We're jealous.

Drawing Winners

2008-04-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

It's time -- past time, actually -- for some free shirt giveaways. Since it's been more than a month since our last, we're going to pull TWO lucky winners out of the helmet this time (emails obscured to protect the innocent):

AMAZINGLY LUCKY WINNER NUMBER 00001:
archer873@xxxxxxxx.com.au

SHOCKINGLY LUCKY WINNER NUMBER 00002:
Sillylillydog@xxxxxxxx.ca

We've also sent emails to these amazingly, shockingly lucky individuals. All they have to do is tell us which shirt they want, and where they want it sent.

Meanwhile, condolences to all of you who didn't win. We won't say, "lost". "Winning-challenged", how about that? And unfortunately, this drawing was the last chance, as we're going to stop doing these freebies. For a while, at least. Thanks for playing!

P.S. We're putting the kibosh on this promotion because we're starting another one. It will only be available to our email newsletter subscribers, though, so you might want to make sure that you're signed up for that! The sign-up blank is over there in the right-hand sidebar. (If you're not sure if you're already subscribed, just sign up anyway; our email system will make sure you're only on the list once.)

Shop Now For Mother's Day

2008-04-10T11:24:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is coming (in the U.S.): May 11th. And some of our shirts would be totally, absolutely, unreservedly perfect for your ma. Others wouldn't. For your convenience, the 2008 Far Out Shirts Mother's Day Shopping Guide.

We carefully selected the following designs, hoping to suit the tastes and preferences of most woman who have given birth to you, along with an indicator (YES vs. NO) of how they held up in a survey of similar women recently conducted in local leek-farming communes. There may also be others we missed: see them all and decide for yourself.

YES

YES

NO

YES

NO

YES

NO!!

New Shirt: Prepare To Die

2008-04-08T12:11:00.001-07:00

Are you seeking revenge on a man with six fingers on his right hand? Have you dedicated your life to the study of fencing? Are you not left-handed? Familiar with Bonetti's Defense and Agrippa? Then this is the shirt for you, my friend. Passing it up would be inconceivable.

In: Movies & TV

New Shirt: Aircraft ID Chart

2008-04-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

At long last, and as a belated April Fool's gift to you and yours, here's our latest & greatest! (There wasn't room on the product page for the full text of the Act, but it's included here for reference.)

49 U.S.C. subtitle IX--ch. 701, sections 70101-70121, (the Act) provides for the Department to grudgingly tolerate and reluctantly accept civilian assistance in identifying airborne objects which by performance, aerodynamic characteristics, or unusual features, do not conform to any presently known aircraft or missile type, or which cannot be positively identified as a familiar object.

Further, the Act may impose civil penalties if a person is found to have violated a requirement of the Act, a regulation issued under the Act, or any term or condition of the Act. This rulemaking partly consolidates parts 405 and 406 into one part, part 406. To that end, Sec. 405.7 is removed and new Sec. 406.9 is added. Section 406.117 provides for non-disclosure of certain information. This subpart is based largely on 14 CFR part 13 subpart G, under which certain civil penalty cases are adjudicated by the Department. The Act prohibits public disclosure of information that qualifies for an exemption under 5 U.S.C. 5521(b)(4)(ii) or information that is designated as confidential by the person or head of the executive agency providing the information, unless the Department decides that withholding the information is contrary to the public or national interest. All authority under the Act has been delegated to the Administrator. Under section 413.17, these mandated amendments are being adopted as the final rule without prior notice or prior public comment.

In: Far Out

(Update: minor changes to shirt design)

When I Die [Onion Shirt]

2008-02-14T06:46:00.000-08:00

Came across a shirt in the Onion's store that I couldn't resist pointing out: When I die, I am going to haunt the fuck out of you people.

I also like their Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder All Day shirt.

Buzzkill - Malaria Charity Shirt

2008-01-25T18:33:00.001-08:00

I bring to your attention this fine shirt, the purchase of which benefits a fine cause. Note that this is not a Far Out Shirts shirt, but is produced by the Nothing But Nets campaign, sponsored by the UN, to raise money to buy mosquito-proof bed-nets for malaria-ridden parts of the world.

I first heard about this campaign, and indeed, about what a killer malaria still is in much of the world, after reading an article about it in National Geographic. It made me say, "holy shit", anyway.

The bottom line is, malaria's bad, and there's no vaccine yet. It's transmitted almost exclusively by mosquitos, at night. People that can have a net over their bed, especially little kids, have a better chance of not dying a horrifying death or being permanently brain damaged.

And, that's a cool shirt. Available in men's & women's styles, printed on American Apparel shirts, $20. $10 of which buys somebody a lifesaving bed-net. Check it out.

January Winner & Newsletter

2008-01-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to the winner of this month's free shirt drawing. Kyle S. is our lucky winner, and his new "It's A Trap" shirt will be shipped out ASAP.

It could be you next month, but only if you enter!

We also just sent out this month's newsletter. Subscribe when you sign up for the drawing with just one mouse-click. It's only sent once a month, we'll never give your address with anyone else, and it's easy to unsubscribe if it's not your bag.

New Shirt: Cthulhu Loathes You

2008-01-18T14:42:00.000-08:00

Cthulhu loathes me, this I know
For the Necronomicon tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong

In: Far Out

New Shirt: I'll Be Back

2008-01-18T14:41:00.000-08:00

"I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told that she's here; could I see her please?" Whenever a badass cyborg assassin from the future asks you something like that, don't be difficult. If you are, well, they'll probably be back.

In: Far Out

Apple T-shirts, old vs. new

2008-01-14T21:51:00.000-08:00

On the eve of this year's Steve Jobs Macworld keynote, here are some Apple-y shirt for you.

First is one of our favorites, which would have been perfect to wear at the Macworld: WWSD?. Sorry, should have told you that a few weeks ago, I guess. If Jobs announces some kind of Apple-branded time machine, you could use that to go back in time, order one and wear that...

The next one comes from a post by Fake Steve Jobs (a hilarious blog that's been turned into an even funnier book) titled, "We weren't always so good at marketing":

Speaking of Fake Steve, here's another shirt that would've been good to wear at Macworld. Not much to it, honestly, but a cute idea, especially for that event.