Fathers’ positive involvement can bring many benefits to their children. But it matters to mothers too – helping shape their mothering and their own relationship with their baby, and enabling a more gender-equal division of care and domestic work. 

That’s why for us, the drive for involved fatherhood is a key component of a gender-equal world – a world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. Gender-equity underpins all our work, including our Time with Dad campaign to improve support for fathers (find out more here).

This International Women’s Day, we’re taking the opportunity to celebrate six outstanding women who share our vision, and are transforming our world for the good of all through their work researching, writing about, and campaigning for, involved fatherhood.

We asked each of these change-makers why supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matters to them, to women, and to society. 

Dr Helen Norman

Dr Helen Norman is a Senior Research Fellow at Leeds University Business School. Her research focuses on fathers and fatherhood, the gendered division of labour and gender inequalities in work, employment and family life.

Q: Why does supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matter to you, to women, and to society?

“Involved fatherhood is a strategy for gender equality. Women are disadvantaged in paid and domestic work because they tend to assume primary responsibility for childcare and housework. Supporting men to be involved fathers – through the sharing of care and domestic responsibilities – contributes to a more gender equal division of labour, which directly supports women, and has multiple benefits for fathers and children.”

To learn more about Dr Norman’s work, please visit her project website: PIECE (Paternal Involvement and its Effects on Children’s Education), in partnership with the Fatherhood Institute.

Dr Jasmine Kelland

Dr Jasmine Kelland is an academic and author at the University of Plymouth. Her work on the ‘fatherhood forfeit’ has been widely cited within the press (such as The Guardian and The Times), by professional bodies (such as CIPD), government Select Committee reports, and media outlets (such as Sky News and BBC Radio).

Q: Why does supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matter to you, to women, and to society?

“Whilst some progress has been made regarding equality in the UK, equality for parents remains very challenging. One of the key reasons for this in my view is that fathers are not supported as caregivers in the workplace and routinely face challenges, such as ‘fatherhood forfeits’. These challenges push women towards the role of primary carer regardless of their career, working hours or wishes. Wider support of men in caregiving roles will enable gender equality for both parents to improve.”

To learn more about Dr Kelland, please visit her university profile. She recently published her first book, entitled ‘Caregiving Fathers in the Workplace: Organisational Experiences and the Fatherhood Forfeit’ – you can learn more here.

Jane van Zyl

Jane van Zyl, Chief Executive of Working Families, has 18 years’ experience working in the third sector and has held senior leadership positions at a number of UK charities, including Samaritans and Sands. She believes in the value of a fulfilling, balanced working life and its transformative power to create social connections, build self-esteem, and impact the wider community.

Q: Why does supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matter to you, to women, and to society?

“We can’t achieve gender equality without supporting men to be involved fathers and caregivers. If fathers aren’t empowered to share the load at home, then we will never escape the ‘motherhood penalty’, which leaves many women’s careers in tatters from the years of managing childcare. And we can’t change the narrative that part-time work is inferior without a shift that sees both men and women enjoying its benefits.”

To learn more about Jane’s work at Working Families please visit their website. 

Professor Tina Miller

Tina Miller is a Professor of Sociology at Oxford Brookes University whose research spans sociology of family lives, gender, identities and caring and family disruptions. She has been an advisor at the World Health Organisation and contributed to think tanks and parliamentary and EU committees, as well as publishing widely on experiences of fatherhood and motherhood.

Q: Why does supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matter to you, to women, and to society?

“Men’s capacities to care for their children in practical and loving ways is well documented and has all sorts of benefits. Becoming a father marks a rich, pivotal moment of personal change, and an opportunity for broader social change. But structures continue to assume female caregiving and lock women in and men out. A fairer society needs to recognise men’s caring, too.”

To learn more about Prof Miller, please visit her university profile. You can listen to her recent BBC Radio 4 Analysis podcast in which she asks whether society and its structures are still trapping women in caring roles, both paid and unpaid, while men are kept out. 

She recently co-wrote (with Prof Esther McDermott) a chapter in ‘Men and Welfare’, entitled ‘Being a Father and a Refugee: New Social Worlds of Welfare and Integration’

Nikki van der Gaag

Nikki van der Gaag is an independent consultant and Senior Fellow at Equimundo. She is the author and co-author of a number of books and reports including Patriarchy in Practice, Feminism and Men, four State of the World’s Fathers reports, and six State of the World’s Girls reports.

Q: Why does supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matter to you, to women, and to society?

“My interest in masculinities and fatherhood comes from my longstanding work on women’s and girl’s rights around the world. It is clear to me that we will never achieve gender equality – or end violence against women – without the involvement of men and boys, not just as allies, but as equal partners in caring for the next generation.”

Nikki’s latest book, released last month, is ‘Patriarchy in Practice: Ethnographies of Everyday Masculinities’, coedited with Amir Massoumian and Dan Nightingale.

Dr Anna Machin

Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist who is world renowned for her research into the science and anthropology of human fatherhood.  She is the author of The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father and is passionate about sharing the outcomes of her work to empower fathers to be confident and equal parents, and to campaign to gain recognition and support for the unique role dads play in their children’s lives.

Q: Why does supporting men as involved fathers and caregivers matter to you, to women, and to society?

“We know that men are as biologically primed to parent as women, that they build attachments which are just as strong as, but uniquely and importantly different from, mum and that they have a unique and separate role to play in their child’s development.  As a society we need to acknowledge dads as the great untapped child and adolescent mental health taskforce: their special role in building resilience can reduce the risk of loneliness, low self-esteem and depression in our youngsters. 

To learn more about Dr Machin’s work please visit her website.

A new ‘Paternity League’ Table released today (4 October 2022) by childcare service Koru Kids, shines a spotlight on the most and least generous paternity leave packages that the UK companies on Glassdoor’s ‘Top 50 Best Places To Work 2022’* offer.

The table highlights how workplaces need to step up their game and help level the playing field when it comes to giving fathers access to paternity, parental leave and family-friendly workplace policies.

Research commissioned by Koru Kids** to accompany the publication of the league table, found that almost half (46%) of parents with young children were dissatisfied with their/their partner’s paternity leave package. The top reasons included not being given enough time off (73%), being displeased with their pay (59%) and a lack of flexibility upon returning to work (28%).

Three quarters (76%) of fathers and non-birthing parents were offered just two weeks’ leave by their employer – the current minimum statutory requirement in the UK – which is scant when compared to the 52 week entitlement rightly given for maternity leave.

Over half of parents said that inadequate paternity leave negatively impacted their mental health (56%), while a quarter (24%) say their physical health suffered as a result. A third of dads/non-birthing partners (34%) also said that their relationship suffered, whilst a further third (32%) said they were left feeling financially unstable.

Almost three-quarters (73%) of mothers surveyed say they felt abandoned during such a vulnerable time, whilst more than two-thirds (67%) had to take on the majority of household chores and childcare duties alone.

Overall, 80% of parents said they believe the unequal maternity/paternity leave policies in the UK reinforce traditional gender stereotypes, where the mother adopts a homemaking role while the father returns to work.

Perhaps most concerning of all, three in five (62%) mums surveyed said they felt their partner struggled to create a bond with their new baby due to a lack of time off, and over half (52%) of parents said their child didn’t receive enough attention during those crucial first months.

The Fatherhood Institute has partnered with Koru Kids to help interpret the findings and promote a wider discussion of the issues raised. Adrienne Burgess, joint CEO and Head of Research for The Fatherhood Institute, said this about the survey findings:

“We’ve been calling for a father-inclusive parenting leave system for years, but it’s still startling just how little progress has been made to change the status quo in the UK. Together with Koru Kids, we’re campaigning for fathers and non-birthing partners to be given six weeks minimum paid leave in the first year after the birth of a child, and for workplaces to be transparent when it comes to the package they offer.”

Rachel Carrell, founder and CEO of Koru Kids, said: “Gender inequality starts at day 1, thanks to poor paternity leave packages, and our research confirms that paternity leave is severely underfunded and overlooked. With 60% of dads saying  good paternity leave would be a factor when finding a new role, every employer should check their paternity package and make sure it truly provides financial stability, flexibility and enough time for new parents to bond with their baby. Our Paternity League table shows some companies have outstanding and inspirational policies, but disappointingly, others that are renowned for being great places to work actually have paternity packages that leave much to be desired, while several in the top 50 declined to share details of their package at all. It’s time we broke down the barriers to accessing parental leave, so that men, women and children can flourish.”

To build a broader picture of the state of paternity leave in the UK, Koru Kids has created a tool that allows people to input their employer’s paternity policy and see how it matches up against the paternity packages of the Glassdoor ‘Top 50 Best Places To Work’. To use this, visit www.korukids.co.uk/blog/paternity-league. 

Further information

* Glassdoor’s Top 50 Best Places To Work

**Survey by Censuswide of 1,505 parents of children aged five or under, who have either taken paternity leave or their partner has. The survey took place between 18th and 23rd August, 2022.

*** Statutory paternity leave is: either 1 week or 2 consecutive weeks’ leave at a rate of either £156.66 a week or 90% of their average weekly earnings (whichever is lower). Tax and National Insurance are also deducted: https://www.gov.uk/employers-paternity-pay-leave

Methodology for the paternity league table

Data was collected directly from ranked companies, via their websites, by telephone and via email correspondence with HR teams.

Once the data was collected, Koru Kids put in place a ranking system which aimed to rank both paternity leave and paternity pay from highest to bottom. These two metrics were ranked independently and a third rank was put in place to decide which company was the best based on both paternity leave and paternity pay. Where two or more companies scored the same for the combined ranking, the Glassdoor rank was used as the deciding factor for which company should be placed higher.

In order to come up with a hypothetical paternity leave pay, the average salary of £24,600 (rounded up to £25,000) as per HMRC data was used, which then enabled the companies in the study to be split into 3 distinct categories – Gold, Silver & Bronze.

The calculation of the splits was based on the difference between the upper and lower salary value in our study which then was split into 3 thirds providing us with the following splits: 

 > £10,839 = Gold

£5421 – £10839 = Silver

£0 – £5420 = Bronze

About Koru Kids

Koru Kids is a tech start-up, whose bespoke digital platform helps families flourish by connecting them with vetted and trained childcare. From part-time after-school nannies to fill that afternoon gap, to full-time early-years childminding. Simple and streamlined searching, matching, interviewing, payment and tax, all under one roof. It was set up in 2016 by Rachel Carrell, and borne out of a need to improve the way childcare works in the UK.

NHS maternity, health visiting and other family services are failing babies by ignoring their fathers during the first postnatal year, according to our latest evidence review, Bringing Baby Home, published for Father’s Day 2022.

The review, funded by the Nuffield Foundation, delves into a systematically collected body of almost 800 pieces of research exploring fathers and fatherhood in the first year – including many studies based on the UK’s three large-scale birth cohort studies, which track children’s outcomes over decades.

Even without the additional challenges of the Covid-19 lockdowns (during which fathers were routinely excluded from most elements of maternity services – for more on this see our earlier survey report, Dads Shut Out) – and taking into account ongoing concerns over staffing (the RCM and Institute of Health Visiting report shortages of 2,000 midwives and 5,000 HVs respectively) – Bringing Baby Home paints a picture of NHS systems not set up to engage with, assess and support new fathers.

This is despite clear evidence, set out in the report (and summarised below), of how fathers’ physical and mental health impacts on babies’ future health and wellbeing, and despite studies suggesting the perinatal period can be a ‘golden moment’ for encouraging better health behaviours among fathers.

The ‘dad-shaped hole’

Data gathering is a key problem: health records for babies in the UK only allow the inclusion of one adult (the mother), so any record relating to the father is held separately – if it is held at all – and family records cannot be seen in a joined up and connected way.

For this and other reasons, fathers have no status as patients or clients of maternity and other perinatal services; and are, as a result, treated as visitors rather than central members of a new family. Health topics not routinely discussed with fathers include smoking, alcohol/drug use, and obesity – all associated with negative child outcomes.

Fathers receive little or no support to develop their caregiving skills, help them understand child development or inform them how to keep their babies safe; nor are they screened for stress, anxiety, depression or other important psychological factors. This is despite the fact that, while almost all fathers (95%) take care of their crying infant regularly, 14% sometimes fear their stress levels are so high that it may harm their baby. 

Fathers also have significant impacts on key maternal outcomes, including initiation and continuation of breastfeeding, and post-natal depression – which also impact on babies. But services do not provide information to help fathers in their support role, even though there is evidence that this can be highly effective – and 80% of new mothers say their infant’s father is their main source of support.

Finding a way forward

We suggest four key recommendations for how policy and services could be improved:

1. Fathers’ names, contact details and NHS numbers should be entered onto NHS birth notifications so that fathers can be contacted directly by services. As is the case for mothers, the father’s NHS number would link to his medical record for use by practitioners and for research purposes, within a framework of data protection law and ethical guidelines.
2. All tax-funded services and interventions for families in the perinatal period – including those commissioned by central government (e.g. the Reducing Parental Conflict programme and Family Hubs) should be commissioned, designed, delivered, promoted and evaluated in ways that recognise fathers’ own need for support (whether or not they share a household with the child’s mother) and their impact on children and mothers. Practitioners should use evidence-based strategies to achieve high levels of father-inclusion, and should follow – and where relevant be inspected against – key guidance. To support change, the Fatherhood Institute is working with the Royal College of Midwives to produce a father-engagement toolkit, to be published in October 2022: within this we will map good practice and highlight promising strategies. Find out more here.
3. The government should fund, pilot and evaluate a scalable, locality-wide approach to embedding father-inclusive practice across a whole network of perinatal services in a number of local areas.
4. Given the unavailability of parental leave to the vast majority of UK fathers, and the huge significance of fathers’ participation in solo parental care in baby’s first year for later care patterns, the government should pilot new approaches to leave taking, focused on different groups of working fathers, including those who are employed, self-employed and working in the ‘gig economy’. Ways in which employers do or could support fathers should be included in the pilot.

How fathers’ health impacts on children’s: a summary

Bringing Baby Home identifies many ways in which, according to empirical evidence, fathers’ health and wellbeing impacts on their children’s. These include:

Physical health

• Children of obese fathers are almost three times as likely to be obese than children whose father is not overweight (National Statistics, 2017).
• Almost one new father in five is a smoker (Harrison et al., 2020) and mainly smokes in the home (Blackburn et al., 2005).  Infants of fathers who smoke are more likely to develop wheeze, asthma, lower respiratory illness, chronic middle ear disease, stunted growth and to fall victim to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) (Burke et al., 2012; CDC&P, 2006; Washington, 2017)
• International research finds that i) fathers’ alcoholism is linked with negative father-infant interactions, including lower infant responsiveness (Eiden & Leonard, 1999); and ii) fathers’ heavy alcohol use doubles the risk of an insecure mother-infant attachment (Eiden & Leonard, 1996). The effects of fathers’ alcohol/drug use on mothers or infants in the first postnatal year have not been studied in the UK.

Mental health & wellbeing

• Postnatal stress in UK fathers, which may relate to stressors including work and financial pressures, sleep deprivation, lack of time to spend with their infant, wider family concerns and housing or food instability (Philpott et al., 2017) is understudied. For example, studies have not tracked men’s stress before and after having a first baby – even though 14% of fathers worry often that their stress level may have a negative impact on their baby (Scourfield et al., 2016).
• Depressed fathers (fewer than 5% of UK fathers in Year One, but with higher percentages in certain groups) are more likely to behave negatively towards their infant, and fathers’ early depression is associated with: poorer infant development (Wanless et al., 2008); more problematic behaviour in their pre-schoolers (Butler, 2012; Ramchandani et al., 2005); greater risk of children’s psychiatric disorder at primary school (Opondo et al., 2017; Opondo et al., 2016); and lower educational achievement at secondary school (Psychogiou et al., 2019).
• High anxiety in Year 1 – again, more common in disadvantaged fathers (Ben-Shlomo et al., 2016). – has been found to predate recurrent abdominal pain in children later (Ramchandani et al., 2006), and is associated with worryingly rapid weight gain in infants (Griffiths et al., 2007). ‘Mental distress’ in fathers reported at infant age nine months is also associated with steeper increases in fat/ body mass index in girls and boys aged 5-14 (Tommerup & Lacey, 2021).
• High conflict between parents exacerbates the negative impact of mother’s depression on children (Hanington et al., 2012) and 23% of first-time fathers report increased conflict in the year after the birth (Easter & Newburn, 2014).

Download the reports

For more detail, read Bringing Baby Home: the fifth in our Contemporary Fathers in the UK series of evidence reviews, funded by the Nuffield Foundation. You can download the main report, executive summary and recommendations using the links below.

Improving practice

To help spread the word about some of the key messages from the report, we have created a series of factsheets, aimed at fathers themselves, and the people around them – including NHS professionals and other practitioners). Find out more here.

We are also working with the Royal College of Midwives to develop a father-engagement toolkit, to be published later this year. Read more about this and other policy work on our Time with Dad page.

Families in the UK, and around the world, are experiencing unprecedented challenges, ranging from enforced proximity to enforced separation, not to mention coping with financial stress and the difficulties of keeping small children entertained.

Here are some links to sources of information and advice that you might find useful as you navigate your way through this…

We are adding to and updating the information on this page periodically, as and when updates and resources allow. We cannot guarantee that the information here is the most current and appropriate at any given time; do please consult your local NHS providers and other local sources, to find out the current situation in your area.

Covid-19-related information/advice

UK Government advice, including about employment, education, school closures and childcare

ADDED 15.12.2021: Additional Government guidance on supporting children and young people’s mental health during the Covid-19 outbreak.

ADDED 10.02.2021: Since the first lockdown in the spring of 2020, we and others have been campaigning for a common sense approach to allowing fathers (and other parents) into antenatal appointments and scans, and labour/birth. We are part of #ButNotMaternity, a collective of volunteer campaigners, aiming to ensure that maternity restrictions in the UK are evidence based and proportionate to the risk of birth trauma as well as Covid-19. You can find out more on the But Not Maternity website, which features practical actions you can take if you are personally affected by the restrictions. Updated 15.12.2021: Since the start of the pandemic we have heard about widely differing ‘visiting’ policies in NHS trusts across the country, with fathers and other birth partners being totally excluded from, or having extremely restricted access to, some maternity services. We recently joined Birthrights in objecting to restrictions in Wales, but the Welsh Government rejected our call for them to be amended. The But Not Maternity coalition will reconvene regular meetings after the New Year.

ADDED 15.12.2021: We published Dads Shut Out, based on our 2020-21 survey of fathers’, mothers’ and health professionals’ experiences of maternity services visiting restrictions, in November.

Here is our article summarising what to expect as an expectant dad, which we published during the first lockdown (April 2020). Updated 15.12.2021: The situation has changed since this was published, and especially in the wake of the Omicron variant. Please contact your local NHS provider to check current restrictions.

ADDED 31.01.2021: Birthrights (also part of #ButNotMaternity) published an article drawing on latest legal advice, at the end of January 2021, making clear that trusts which as well as preventing fathers/ partners from attending scans, don’t allow them to be involved in the appointment remotely, may be acting unlawfully and unreasonably: read more here. Updated 15.02.2021: Birthrights is also pushing for more ‘common sense’ guidance in the NHS around birth partners (in most cases, fathers) – arguing, for example, that being a birth partner and visiting your baby in a neonatal unit should exempt one from self-isolation regulations: read more here. Updated 15.12.2021: See above for an update about recent/ ongoing But Not Maternity actions.

Some trusts are proving better than others at communicating with parents about the do’s and don’ts of hospital attendance during lockdown. Here’s a case study, published by Birthrights, about how one NHS trust has taken a considered, proactive approach to communicating with parents at this time.

A top tip from several dads: make sure your wife/ partner has a phone charger with a long lead if/when she goes into hospital – especially if she is having a c-section. This can help her communicate with you much more easily, saving her from having to bend and lean to use her device, and saving professionals valuable time having to help her get plugged in comfortably!

ADDED 10.02.2021: The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists’ Information for pregnant women and their families was updated in January 2021, and includes wide-ranging information, including for birth partners. Updated 15.12.2021: These guidelines were updated in July 2021, so the link above is still valid.

Guidance from the Royal College of Midwives & Royal College of Obstretricians & Gynaecologists about the provision of home births (NB, This is guidance aimed at professionals, exploring the impact of midwife shortages and how services might best organise themselves in response. It may help explain why home birthing options are or are not currently available in your area).

Parenting through Coronavirus: regularly reviewed and updated advice from the Institute of Health Visiting.

Leeds Clinical Commissioning Group has produced this page to help expectant and new parents know whether to seek emergency care.

World Health Organisation Parenting in the time of COVID-19

Unicef’s Coronavirus guide for parents.

Parent Club Scotland has produced this guidance about keeping your family safe from the virus.

Iconcope has produced some importance guidance aimed at protecting babies from shaken baby syndrome (men are more prone to shaking babies, so this is well worth a read).

Greater Manchester Centre for Voluntary Organisations has produced this listing of Covid-19 support and resources for black, Asian and minority ethnic communities.

Doctors of the World and the British Red Cross have produced this summary of latest Covid-19 guidance in 48 languages.

What happens if you lose your baby to miscarriage during lockdown? Here’s a case study and some useful information from the Miscarriage Association.

The Co-SPYCE study, a collaboration between the Universities of Oxford, Southampton and Reading, is exploring how parents of 2-4 year olds are coping in the Covid-19 pandemic. Take part in their survey here. Updated 15.12.2021: This survey is no longer active.

If you are unable to be present during your partner’s labour, for example because you have the virus, you could suggest she consider a birthing app like the Positive Birth Company’s Freya App, to help with breathing techniques.

Fatherhood Institute guide: Supporting breastfeeding during Covid-19.

General information for expectant/new dads

NHS information for expectant dads and partners

NHS guidance on visiting inpatient facilities (including maternity services) – issued in June 2020, and superseding the guidance issued in April. Updated 15.12.2021: This page is no longer active.

NHS information for pregnant women

Updated 15.12.2021: Becoming Dad: A Guide for New Fathers, written by the Fatherhood Institute and published in collaboration with the Mental Health Foundation, is now available for free to dads directly, or via family practitioners. Register to receive it as a PDF here. Best Beginnings’ Baby Buddy app is also now available, featuring daily information specifically for dads, written by the Fatherhood Institute. Download it here.

DadPad – a practical guide for new fathers – is available for dads to buy here.

Online birth preparation courses: Birthing for Blokes; DaddyNatal online

Information about home births from NCT.

Dads Rock is running online parenting workshops (free but with a suggested donation of £10) – find out more here.

If you can access Netflix, check out its Babies series, especially episode 1, which explains how vital a role dads can play in caregiving. Here’s the trailer (link to Youtube).

National Childbirth Trust: How can dads bond with their baby

Family Lives: Becoming a dadD

Tameside Early Attachment Service: Getting it right from the start (Youtube video)

NCT courses

As part of its Tiny Happy People resource support parent-baby communication, BBC has published this guide to mental health for new dads.

Fatherhood websites

Fatherly

Dad Info

The Dads Net

Local and other support groups

Leeds Dads

Dads Rock Edinburgh

Dad Matters UK

Dangerous Dads Network

Dope Black Dads

Combining earning and caring

Citizens Advice

Working Families

Working Dads

If you’re enjoying spending time with your young children, maybe you could enjoy a career looking after other people’s! Our MITEY website is packed with resources aimed at supporting more men into careers in early years education. If you are a man based in the North West of England, you could even join Kids Planet’s apprenticeship programme, and train to be an early years educator. Find out more here.

Protecting your mental health

Dads Matter UK

Fathers Reaching Out

If you are experiencing problems with your mental health, please reach out to trusted and supportive friends, family members and/or your GP. You may also find links to useful support via the MIND website.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact The Samaritans (tel. 116 123) or the CALM Zone, or call 999.

Protecting your relationship

Relate

Tavistock Relationships: General online couple counselling and Free online support for parents in London

Relationships Scotland

Sharing care in separated families

Cafcass guidance for children and families, clarifying the official advice on children moving between households.

Child Law Advice

Citizens Advice guidance on making child arrangements.

Families Need Fathers has published useful guides to help you navigate child arrangements, child maintenance and universal credit. Here’s a link to the FNF Covid-19 page.

Only Dads is running daily online chat sessions and has published useful Covid-19 links. Click here.

Shared Parenting Scotland and Both Parents Matter (based in Wales) have produced this survey to find out about separated parents’ sharing of care during the pandemic.

Family Mediation Northern Ireland are still supporting separated families remotely.

Some activities to do with babies/toddlers

Check out the Department for Education’s Hungry Little Minds campaign.

National Literacy Trust Family Zone.

Watch/listen to our Celebrity Story Time video clips (on Youtube).

EYFS Home, a start-up created since the Covid-19 crisis hit, offers a simple, organised programme of activities for 3-5 year olds.

Book Trust Home Time.

PACEY (the Professional Association for Childcare and Early Years) has pulled together a range of activities and other resources on its Learning at home page.

If you have a child due to start primary school in September, here’s a useful BBC Bitesize article from a head teacher, about how you can help get them ready.More to follow….

Found a useful resource and want to share it? Please email Jeremy at j.davies (at) fatherhoodinstitute.org or contact us via Facebook or Twitter.

Updated 15.12.2021: Please note: This article was written in April 2020, and the situation has since changed, such that visiting restrictions are in place in many NHS maternity (and other services). To find out about restrictions to your local NHS and other services, please contact them directly.

Doctors’ and other clinicians’ professional bodies in the UK have issued clear guidance that fathers who do not have symptoms of Coronavirus should be able to accompany women during labour/birth.

Dads or partners may be blocked from accompanying women to antenatal appointments, including scans, and from staying overnight following the birth – this is subject to local restrictions. Some antenatal and most postnatal appointments will now be taking place virtually, via telephone, Skype or Zoom.

The Royal College of Midwives told us that expectant parents should check with their midwife or local service to find out what the latest guidance is. They said: “There are localised restrictions in place which vary and are dependent upon how severely various trust and areas have been affected by Coronavirus. So RCM advice for concerned women and their partners is to check with their midwife or local service to see if there are changes that may affect them.

“Local restrictions on visitors may mean that partners are not allowed to attend antenatal or stay with women on antenatal or postnatal care wards, however, this should not impact on a birth partners presence during labour or birth, unless they are unwell.”

There have been some reports of men being turned away for all or part of their wives’ or partners’ labour, and earlier on in the crisis a petition calling for protection of the right to have a birth partner during COVID-19 attracted more than 400,000 signatures. The charity Birthrights also issued this statement calling on services to respect women’s right to have the support of a birth partner during labour/ childbirth.

What do the experts say?

The latest guidance and statements from the key clinicians’ organisations is unequivocal about the continued importance of (asymptomatic) fathers being present during labour and birth, including these Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists guidelines, and this Royal College of Midwives press release and advice for pregnant women.

The International Confederation of Midwives’ guidance and this World Health Organisation Q&A on Covid-19, pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding are similarly clear.

In terms of postnatal care, the Institute of Health Visiting and Public Health England have issued advice clarifying that most face-to-face appointments should be replaced by virtual sessions for the time being.

So what’s happening?

Our goal is not to create additional stress at a time when the NHS is under severe pressure, and individual staff members are putting their lives at risk for the benefit of others – and we would ask all fathers to evaluate and respond to their own situations, and their partners’, with this in mind too.

However, it is worth bearing in mind that clinical priorities and local responses may not always match up. Even before Coronavirus, the NHS was patchy, to say the least, in its engagement with men – despite the kind of clear acknowledgement of fathers’ importance highlighted above. This was revealed by our 2018 Nuffield Foundation-funded report Who’s The Bloke in the Room? and supporting survey, ‘How was it for you?’.

Only a few months ago, dads were accused of using maternity wards ‘like a hotel’ by a midwife at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. You can hear more about this story, and the Fatherhood Institute’s response to it, in this pre-Covid-19- lockdown episode of BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour.

So we are concerned that individual organisations, units or staff members may unconsciously be viewing fathers as an unwanted encumbrance, and allowing infection control to become a convenient excuse to exclude men.

One health visitor told us this via the Fatherhood Institute Facebook page:

“I’m a health visitor but also pregnant myself and due in May. I’ve been informed by my local hospital that if baby has to stay in for any reason after birth or if baby comes early and has to go to special care then only mothers can visit. This could be for weeks and I have real concerns about the impact on fathers mental health and their ability to bond with their baby if they’re not have physical contact with them.”

In answer to the question ‘Do you think this is clinically justifed?’ she replied:

“No I don’t think its clinically justified personally, as the mother will be entering and leaving the ward to go home everyday same as dads would be. I think the mental health for both parents will be massively affected, we’re already seeing the effects on mums who have had to stay in hospital for a couple of days and not allowed their other children or partners to visit.”

Some midwives have also expressed the view that fathers should be allowed to stay with mothers after the birth – especially if mothers have had Caesareans or difficult births resulting in restricted movement. Check out this from Family Included.

Updated 15.12.2021: We published Dads Shut Out, based on our 2020-21 survey of fathers’, mothers’ and health professionals’ experiences of maternity services visiting restrictions, in November.

Got a story to share? Please get in touch. You can email Jeremy Davies j.davies (at) fatherhoodinstitute.org or contact us via Facebook or Twitter.

Need advice or support? Check out our list of key Covid-19 sources here.

NHS maternity services’ engagement with fathers has always been piecemeal. In Who’s the Bloke in the Room, our 2018 Nuffield Foundation-funded review of evidence about fathers in the antenatal period, we explored the UK evidence about expectant fathers’ impact, including around labour/birth.

In the accompanying survey, How was it for you?, conducted by the Fatherhood Institute and Fathers Network Scotland, we asked fathers to share their experiences of maternity services in detail. The stories they told were of occupying an uncomfortable position – neither patient nor visitor. In almost all cases, men felt that their role was, rightly, secondary. But secondary all too often translated as unwelcome, ignored or sidelined.

Fast-forward to 2020 and the widespread imposition of restrictions on fathers’ access to maternity services during the Covid-19 pandemic: men not being allowed in to accompany their partners to antenatal appointments or scans; to birthing units; to postnatal wards. Although we had no funding to support a well-resourced programme of research about this, we felt that we should do something to capture what was happening in those most challenging of times.

So we set up an online survey in October 2020, with questions aimed at three groups: mothers; fathers/ partners; and maternity professionals. The survey remained open until July 2021, and was filled in by a total of 1,731 respondents. Of these, 1,240 were expectant/new mothers; 247 NHS practitioners; 167 expectant/new fathers; 18 female partners of expectant/new mothers; and 59 other people.

These are the main headlines of what, collectively, they told us:

• More than four-fifths of fathers/partners[1] said they had been shut out from antenatal appointments (81%), ultrasound scans (80%) and antenatal classes (83%). Only a fifth (19%) were allowed to stay with their partner for the whole labour/birth, and half (49%) were banned from maternity wards afterwards. Two-thirds of fathers/partners (67%) said they felt less well-prepared for fatherhood as a result, with four-fifths (84%) less able to support their partner.

• More than four-fifths (84%) of mothers[2] said that the restrictions meant they had received less support than they needed or wanted from fathers/partners.

• More than four-fifths (84%) of midwives/healthcare professionals[3] reported that parents had complained about fathers’ restricted involvement, and a quarter (24%) said mothers’ and/or babies’ health had been put at risk

• Both mothers and fathers said the maternity restrictions had badly impacted their mental health: 88% of mums and 79% of dads were more stressed, 88% of mums and 77% of dads were more anxious/fearful, 86% of mums and 62% of dads felt more isolated, and 57% of mums and 44% of dads felt more depressed as a result.

And these are some of the comments that survey respondents added in the free text boxes we had provided:

Some women gave harrowing accounts of giving birth and recovering without their partners’ support. For example:

“I was left alone during labour and I honestly was not thinking about the midwives and how to call them to the ward where I was because I was in so much pain from the contractions, my only goal was to get over the pain without losing it. My partner would’ve been my best advocate in those moments.”

“My baby’s father not being able to stay with us out of visiting hours in the postnatal ward made me feel very isolated and alone. It made it harder for me to rest after a very difficult birth, as I was alone with baby overnight. Also, my partner felt underprepared for looking after me and baby when we came home, as we had spent so much time apart while I was in hospital for 3 days after delivery. I believe this will have some serious impact on mother-infant mental health in the future.”

“My mental health concerns were dismissed by the midwife on my very first appointment. I was in a very vulnerable position and not being able to attend any appointments with my partner made it quite difficult… I didn’t have a community midwife contact… I ended up in A&E with a depressive episode and a panic attack on two separate occasions.

Men described the emotional impact of being excluded, on themselves and their families: 

“I have been allowed to attend only one scan. My wife has had to attend all other scans tests and consultations on her own. I have totally missed out on this vital support to my wife and in developing a bond with our baby son. The system has been in disarray and the emotional toll on us is telling…. no account has been taken of the family unit and the stress caused to both parents by the draconian measures… There must be a better balance.”

“Mum now has postnatal mental health issues due to all the stress and trauma of being alone for so long during labour and birth. Poor postnatal care also has contributed to this.”

“I’ve been made to feel like I don’t matter.”

“I feel like I missed out on vital bonding time with my son and this has caused undue mental impact to us as a family unit.”

Healthcare professionals recognised the negative impacts of fathers’ exclusion during the pre- and post-birth period:

“It is difficult to provide the level of emotional and practical support that some women need when partners are absent.” 

“I have seen the severe emotional and psychological effects for fathers missing out on important interactions with both their partners and their new-borns. Lots of professionals have commented on how easy it has been without fathers/men to attend to, but this is not my view”

“Our service has encountered parents who have been traumatised by their birth experience. The lack of support has had a negative impact on their mental health.” 

“It concerns me that relationships, birth experiences and family bonding are impacted”  

Encouragingly, within the period of the pandemic, new and powerful antenatal and postnatal guidelines from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) have been published that nowrequire healthcare professionals to enable fathers/partners to attend appointments (including remotely), offer them a chair in the consultation room, and provide them with information about pregnancy, breastfeeding, infant care, bonding and supporting their baby’s mother.

But as we write this, in November 2021, we know that in some places in England and Wales, pandemic restrictions remain in place. Only this week, we joined Birthrights, AIMS, Pregnant then Screwed, But Not Maternity, Birth Trauma Association, Doula UK, Queer Birth Club and Paternal Mental Health in calling on the Welsh Health Minister to revise maternity service visiting restrictions in Wales (for more details on this, see Birthrights’ press release).

So we’re publishing the results of our survey today for two reasons:

1. To show, on International Men’s Day, that improving support for men can have huge implications for the women and children around them – and that father-exclusion must not be allowed to slip into ‘normal practice’ unchallenged; and
2. To help foster a recognition, at societal level, that as we move out of the pandemic, maternity and family services need to be redesigned in ways that ensure dad are ‘brought in’ systematically to receive key information and support – for their own, mothers’ and babies’ benefit.

With all this in mind, the Fatherhood Institute is today announcing a package of support, including:

• Becoming Dad – a free guide for new fathers produced with the Mental Health Foundation, launched today for International Men’s Day
• A new suite of training courses for midwives, health visitors, early years and Family Hubs staff
• A ‘what works’ network, to be set up in 2022, which will consult with parents and practitioners, promote best practice and help NHS and family services ‘build back’ from the pandemic in ways that make the most of fathers’ and partners’ involvement and support. To find out more and/or register your interest in this, please contact our Head of Communications Jeremy Davies at j.davies@fatherhoodinstitute.org.

[1] 183 fathers/partners responded to the survey

[2] 1240 mothers responded to the survey

[3] 247 NHS practitioners responded to the survey

There is a real lack of well-written, evidence-based information designed specifically to help men navigate their personal journeys into fatherhood. This matters not just for the men themselves, but for the women who love them, and the babies they will father.

And it matters now more than ever, since men have had little or no access to maternity services during the Covid-19 pandemic – as highlighted by our Dads Shut Out report (published for International Men’s Day, 19 November 2021).

Becoming Dad is a guide we have created to fill the gap – helping men make sense of what’s happening to them; look after themselves and the others around them; and do the best possible job of becoming a confident father.

What’s in the guide

Here’s a summary of what the guide covers:

Chapter 1 The science of ‘becoming Dad’

Many centuries of evolution lie behind what you’re experiencing today as a soon-to-be-father. What can science tell us about what children need from fathers, and how fatherhood changes us as men?

Chapter 2 Looking after yourself

It’s a cliché, but true: how can you look after somebody else if you don’t know how to look after yourself? This chapter is all about opening up to your inner self, being honest about your feelings around fatherhood, and finding ways to stay calm and focused on the things that matter during what can be an exciting and stressful time.

Chapter 3 Supporting mum

Whatever the nature of your relationship with this woman – romantic or otherwise – she will be the mother of your child, and she’s going through some serious stuff right now. Here we focus on what’s happening for her, and what you as a dad can do to help her on her journey.

Chapter 4 Looking after your relationship

The perinatal period is a minefield for couple relationships – it can make or break them. In this chapter we focus on what the key challenges are, and offer practical tips on how to maintain or even improve your relationship. We also look at what you can do if it’s all going wrong.

Chapter 5 Getting to know your baby

Men can find it hard to ‘engage’ with the baby in the womb, and even once it is born. Here we look at simple ways to connect with your infant, build a strong bond and enjoy your time together.

Chapter 6 Juggling work and home

Family, friends, wider society – and we ourselves – can put a lot of pressure on dads to be ‘the provider’. Here we look at how to navigate this aspect of your paternal identity, providing practical tips for making the most of the time you have with your baby, and for creating a work/life balance that allows you to be an involved father.

Chapter 7 What to do if you’re struggling

Early fatherhood can be tiring and stressful. Most dads muddle through it, but some find it really difficult to cope. This chapter is all about how to spot problems before they get too serious, and where to go to for help.

Join the Fatherhood Institute network to receive a free PDF of Becoming Dad.

Go further

If you’re a professional working with families in the perinatal period – a midwife, health visitor, GP or early years practitioner, perhaps – you may want to share Becoming Dad with the fathers you work with.

You can join the Fatherhood Institute network to receive a free PDF of Becoming Dad – or share this link with fathers and other family members you work with.

We’ve also created a poster and flyer (see below) that you can download and print off, to promote the guide to the families you work with.

But why stop there? Here at the Fatherhood Institute our trainers can work with you to help make your father-engagement more systematic and impactful. Our training courses help you engage more effectively, and provide high quality support to men as they work out how to become the best dad they can be.

Here’s a brief description of our courses for practitioners:

Becoming Dad – Perinatal peer-support sessions for expectant and new fathers

Our Becoming Dad perinatal peer-support sessions offer small groups of expectant fathers the opportunity to learn caregiving skills, and navigate the practical and emotional challenges of early fatherhood – supported by other men who have recently become dads.

Working alongside these recent new fathers and trained facilitators, the expectant dads progress through a wide-ranging curriculum designed to build their confidence around hands-on babycare (e.g., nappy-changing, bathing and baby-handling); health and safety (e.g. danger signs to look out for, safe sleeping and shaken baby syndrome); bonding and attachment; and mental health (their own and their partner’s).

Based on the well evidenced Hit the Ground Crawling course, this updated intervention draws on the Becoming Dad guide and our Nuffield Foundation-funded reports on contemporary fatherhood. It works because it is a ‘one-stop shop’ intervention for expectant fathers, delivered over three hours (either one block or two sessions), where the men can get crucial and timely information and support without signing up to a long commitment.

This course requires two facilitators: we will train you to recruit and promote directly to fathers and deliver the course as a peer-led group. Becoming Dad can be delivered through maternity services, early years and voluntary sectors.  

Supporting Fathers in the Perinatal Period

The transition to parenthood has been called ’the golden moment‘ to engage fathers, and this unique, evidence-based training course provides participants with knowledge and strategies to embed change in their agency and in their own practice. Exploring expectant and new fathers’ impact on mothers and babies, and the impact of fatherhood on men themselves, the course addresses the challenges and rewards new parents face in relation to health behaviours, work-life balance, couple conflict, perinatal mental health, hormonal shifts, breastfeeding, fathers at the birth and the early formation of family. This course is suitable for anyone working in family and children’s services, including; midwives, health visitors, managers, students on placements, family support and outreach.

Father-Inclusive Health Visiting Services

This popular course, first piloted through the Burdett Trust and evaluated by Institute of Health & Society, University of Worcester, supports staff to explore and develop strategies to engage with new fathers, develop the confidence, knowledge and skills to work effectively with them, and discover a ‘whole team’ approach to supporting the whole family. The course includes exploration of fathers’ unique influences on infant feeding and brain development; and on infants’ and new mothers’ mental health. Health visitors are equipped to talk to families about what babies need from their fathers; how new parents can support each other; and the sometimes less-than-helpful beliefs about gender roles and gendered capabilities that surround us. This course is suitable for anyone working in health visiting services.

What New Dads Need to Know (and How We Might Support Them)

Building on many years’ innovation and collaboration, we have developed a framework setting out what information new fathers need, and when they need it. Using this, we will help you define the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of your messaging to fathers, including around their own and their partner’s mental and physical health, couple and family relationships and baby and child development. This new course is highly recommended for anyone working with families in the perinatal period, including practitioners and heads of services and communications.

Find out more by downloading our 2021/22 Training Brochure or contact our Head of Training, Jeszemma Garratt at j.garratt@fatherhoodinstitute.org, tel 0791 786 4130.

Follow us on social media

Help us change the national conversation, and amplify our messages, by following our social media accounts:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

The government’s new proposals around flexible working, launched this September – especially the plan to give people the right to request flexible working from day one in a job – are a step in the right direction.

They include making the right to request flexible working a day 1 right – currently employees need to have worked for an organisation for 26 weeks before being able to make such a request; and shortening the period employers have to respond to flexible working requests.

But the right to request flexible working is not the same as the right to work flexibly. Many flexible working requests are refused, often for reasons that are unclear or rely on the argument that flexible hours can’t be justified for ‘business reasons’. We also know that fathers are less likely to request flexible working arrangements – and, if they do, are more likely to have their requests refused.

We are part of the ‘Flex for All’ campaign, alongside the TUC, Pregnant Then Screwed, Mother Pukka and Young Women’s Trust. As part of this campaign, we are asking dads to make their voice heard in a government consultation that’s happening now (it finishes on 1 December – see more details below).

Let’s push for a better deal on flexible working

Please help us make sure dads’ voices are heard in the government’s consultation. Here’s a link to a survey we’ve created with the TUC and other Flex for All partners, to make it easier for you to do this. Just fill in the online form to feed in your views and experiences. You’ll find some ideas, facts and figures alongside the question boxes, to help you work out what you want to say. It shouldn’t take more than 10 to 15 minutes to complete.

Not sure?

If you’d like to hear more about the Flex for All campaign and why this consultation matters, join us for this online event at 7pm on 22 November: https://actionnetwork.org/events/flex-for-all-organising-call/.

And what next?

Join the Time with Dad campaign to stay up to date with our campaign for better support for fathers to take the time they need to care for, look after and support their children’s health, learning and development.

WEDNESDAY 9 JUNE 2021, 2-3PM

During the Spring 2020 lockdown in Britain, fathers spent more time at home with their families than at any point since the Industrial Revolution. 

Lockdown Fathers: the untold story, funded by the Nuffield Foundation, details their experiences and their aspirations for ways of working post-pandemic. Fathers want to maintain the balance widely achieved during lockdown of working effectively while parenting their children better. 

Drawing on a nationally representative survey-sample of more than 2,000 men with children aged under-12, the study explored the lockdown’s impact on physical and mental health (20% reported improvement), relationships with children and partner – and parenting skills. Two-thirds report a better father-child relationship post lockdown, two-fifths feel more confident as parents and better able to support their children’s schoolwork, and three-fifths report greater awareness of the importance of fathers spending time with their children. Aspirations include more remote working (63%) and more flexibility in working time (76%). 

Please join us for a presentation and discussion of the findings and their implications for employers, employees. gender equality and family wellbeing on Wednesday 9th June at 2pm. The webinar will include a presentation from the Fatherhood Institute, before Q&A and discussion with attendees. 

Please note that the webinar will be run using Zoom. Spaces are limited so please register as soon as possible to ensure your place. You will receive joining details via email 24 hours before the webinar. 

If you are unable to attend and would like to receive a recording of the presentation after the event, please contact events@britainthinks.com 

We hope to see you there!

BritainThinks/ Fatherhood Institute 

Our study found that overall, dads grew in confidence, learned new skills and built stronger relationships with their children. They want to stay more involved in future – and their contribution to their children’s learning and development could be massive.

But long working hours and commutes, and lack of direct contact with schools, get in the way. The fathers we surveyed want that to change: 76% of those full-time at home during lockdown said they’d like more flexible working, and 63% more home-working in future, for example.

That’s why we’re launching a new project, Time with Dad.

What’s Time with Dad?

Time with Dad aims to create a space where employers, education providers, and parents themselves can work together to give fathers the time and support they need to keep supporting their children’s education.

We want to explore new ideas, share our stories, form collaborations and trial new approaches.

Maybe you’re an employer, a teacher, a dad or a mum, and saw in lockdown how important dads’ input can be. Perhaps you’re a researcher, or work in national or regional government – and would be interested in creating or evaluating new approaches to father-involvement.

Whoever you are, we want to hear from you. You can join our network, or get in touch, here. And you can talk to us and others on social media using the hashtag #timewithdad.

Let’s rethink men’s work

Employers: What flexible working options do you offer – and how do you communicate them to dads?

Schools and early years settings: How did you engage with dads during lockdown – and how are you going to do this in future?

Dads: What did you enjoy about supporting your children’s learning during lockdown? What did you find difficult? What would make it easier for you to keep things up post-pandemic?

Mums: Did your child’s dad get involved in home schooling? Have you noticed a change in him? Are there things you could do to support his future involvement?

Researchers: What do we know about ‘what works’ in employer support for men’s domestic involvement, and in father-engagement by schools? What don’t we know? How could we get better evidence?

Policy people: Are you thinking about fathers as you develop post-pandemic ‘build-back’ programmes? What kind of help would be useful to you as you do this?

What’s next?

As we develop our project, we’ll provide updates on this page through e-shots and on social media, using the hashtag #timewithdad. So for now, bookmark this page, sign up for updates, follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and start sharing…

Press coverage for Lockdown Fathers

Sunday Telegraph 20 June 2021: How the pandemic led to a nation of better dads

The Observer, 20 June 2021: Dad’s the word: how the pandemic got men talking about fatherhood

CTV News: Why fathers may continue spending more time at home with kids after the pandemic ends (Youtube)

Nursery World: Dads want more flexible working options to be better dads

Working Dads: Why time with dad matters

Lifting Limits: Lockdown Fathers