Fat Little Legs

Xs and Os

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 13:30:00 +0000

I know its a couple of days late...

But, Happy Valentine's day from me and my sweetheart!

We love Valentine's day because of all the XOs! XO is Lily's official chromosomal karotype.

A Butterfly or a Grizzly Bear?

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 13:30:00 +0000

I have the pleasure of sharing another guest post with you today from Kirsten, whose daughter Sienna is featured in my beautiful butterflies post, and who shared with us last week her struggle with the infertility aspect of Turner Syndrome. I am so thankful for Kirsten sharing her feelings with us, and giving me a little break from writing for a few days.

A Butterfly or a Grizzly Bear?

It is February 2012, Turner Syndrome Awareness month - the shortest month of the year to celebrate our short little princesses.　Doctors told us Sienna would be 4’6” to 4’8” without growth hormones and closer to 4’11 or maybe 5’ with them.　I want her as tall as possible. Maybe I am more of a realist or people may say down to earth, but I LOVE the TSSUS slogan of “Short Happens!" Short stature is a common diagnosis and the most common trait of TS for most girls or women. And since TS has no real cause – it is nothing either parent did or contributed to – it just happens. I like to think sometimes our eggs and sperm follow the recipe and sometimes they get it wrong. So short really does just happen.

And the TSSUS symbol for TS is a butterfly. As Sarah writes in her blog:

“The butterfly is the Turner Syndrome symbol.　 The TSSUS chose the butterfly because the butterfly is feminine yet strong, every butterfly is unique, and butterflies fly on their own which is our hope for our girls.　 I think it fits so well because butterflies may at first glance　appear fragile, but are truly strong and beautiful, just like these girls!”

I like the butterfly and I do get this meaning. It is positive and supportive. It is hopeful.

I would be lying though if I also said I liked it all the time. When I really think about this in my life, as it pertains to my butterfly, I think I get defensive. And this is weird – because I am usually the person who gets all this stuff and is OK with it or does not think about it. But those times it usually does not pertain to me or I get the joke. And here is why I can say it bugs me. And it could bug other moms who are like me.

Up until around May or June 2011 I was raising a perfectly normal and healthy child. She was healthy and active and learning and smart and full of life, love and attitude. The attitude part really makes Grandma happy for some reason…but we will not talk about that here. She was much shorter than her peers but every bit as smart, normal, active and happy as everyone else. Then we did a blood test and found out she has Mosaic Turner Syndrome. Some percent of her cells only contain one X chromosome, and some contain two X chromosomes but one is apparently broken. Of all the things that can go wrong or are more likely found in a TS girl – she has relatively few. She has no heart defects, and no outwardly physical symptoms one would recognize as TS. She does have a horseshoe kidney, she does wear glasses, and she has tubes in her ears (2x times now) because of recurring infections and fluid in her ears that impacts her hearing if left unchecked. That is pretty much the entire list.

Now I have a daughter with TS. OK. Nothing has really changed for me except we now give her a growth hormone shot every day and we have to have a few more doctors appointments every year. She is still the same girl and still so full of life. I feel sometimes this verbiage around this butterfly symbol is saying there is something defective or substandard about our girls. I have heard other mothers say they know their daughter will endure the laughter from other children and people as if they are assuming their TS butterfly is already imperfect. To me, there is a sense of faultiness implied here mixed within the support and hope.

Maybe it’s how I trust doctors and go to them to fix the things that needed fixing, and have from a young age. Maybe it’s the 15 surgeries I have had in the last 14 years and still consider myself　healthy. Maybe it’s the fact nothing a doctor could do to me anymore scares or worries me in the least. Maybe it’s is my overall personality about this stuff. It is just a procedure and I know why it’s needed and I do not get overly emotional seeing my baby scared or poked. Sure, you might be thinking it, but I am not heartless. I do not like to see her scared and unsure, but I stay calm and we handle it. And I think I am passing this attitude to my child. She was not thrilled about shots as a baby / toddler getting her vaccinations. She is unsure of new doctor appointments and procedures. She was not particularly thrilled the night the nurse came over to teach us how to administer the GH shots and had to get the first one. She is 5. I get it. But after the first shot - it really has been painless. Her dad and I treat this as putting on your jammies or brushing your teeth, and we do not waver in this. If anything, we use humor to make it just another thing.

Maybe it’s my defiant attitude – and most people I know would verify this for you - adamantly. I am a fighter, persistent, and most of the time “you can’t” or “no” is just a dare to me. TS is not who she is or what she is. It is something she has. And will always have, but in my mind it does not stop her from doing anything, ever. It does not limit her in any way – except maybe reaching the top shelf without a step stool. I do not feel I am in denial in any way as well, as I do not neglect any appointment, recommendation or treatment. I keep an open mind to things that could go wrong and I watch for them. I pay attention to her moods, her feelings, and her behaviors. I am very observant and mindful of what is “wrong” with her and the things that could still appear.

But some days I feel I am raising a grizzly bear, not a butterfly. There is nothing neither delicate nor fragile about her. She is decisive, active, and curious. She is a tough little cookie. She has no problem standing up to me, even when I remind her who the mom is and that we do not talk to each other that way. She has no problem getting what she wants or letting others know she is there. There is nothing in my mind about hoping she will fly on her own – she would do just fine if she moved out today! She is resourceful, smart, adamant, and independent. She is the same little girl I had before May 2011.

Please don’t get me wrong. I know TS girls come in all varieties and all with unique and different conditions or symptoms. I would never discredit or make light of the struggles others go through and what they had to deal with. Some TS girls can have very serious issues and this is devastating to a family. At the very least, it is hard on any family. There are things which go wrong that do cause tough emotions to surface and difficulties for the girls. We all have different lives, thoughts, abilities and concerns. For me, the days it pops into my head that only 1-2% of babies conceived with TS actually make it to a live birth and if there are not 15 other things on my mind when, it can stop me in my tracks. My little grizzly bear is a miracle. She is here despite the odds.

I also know I am lucky and she is lucky. I can see the other difficult issues many parents, especially the ones who knew before their daughter was born, had to endure. These people are strong. They are survivors. So are their butterflies. I am not bragging nor refuting the TS world with this post. I am saying for me, there is nothing fragile or need for more hope in my life. There is no doubt in my mind my little girl will grow up just fine. I feel this makes us stronger and better able to deal with all the things that are going to happen in our lives that are not good. This is something that makes her unique, and will help her see the differences in others. This is one more step on the journey we call life. Whether she is a grizzly bear or just a cute little butterfly, she is still my daughter, the love of my life, and she will grow up as a good person if I have anything to do with it. Now, we just have another purpose, to share with and help the rest of the world see TS as normal, acceptable, and not the end of the world.　

Single Serving Vanilla Cheesecake

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

I don't know about you, but I certainly can't have a full cheesecake in my house... kudos to you if you can! So, I came up with this single serving recipe instead. It takes all of 5 minutes to throw together (not including baking time). My husband has graciously taste tested it, and declared it delicious!
Make it for your sweetie tonight, and Happy Valentine's Day!

Single Serving Vanilla CheesecakeServes 6
6 Weight Watchers Points Plus

12 Nilla wafers - crushed
1 Tbsp butter, melted
1-8 oz package cream cheese (do NOT use light or fat free)
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 325.
Line a 6 cup muffin pan with cupcake liners.
Mix together the Nilla wafer crumbs and melted butter, spread evenly in the bottom of each cup, and press lightly with your fingers.

In a mixing bowl combine cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla. Beat on high with a mixer until well blended (about 1 minute). Add in the egg and beat another 20-30 seconds. Divide evenly among the muffin cups.

Bake at 325 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Remove from oven, and cool at least 4 hours.

Serve topped with a little pie filling, fruit topping, caramel or chocolate drizzle.

Note: After removing from the oven the cheesecakes will sink a little in the middle. This makes a very intent to fill with the topping of your choice. We topped ours with organic, cherry preserves.

Menu Monday 2/13

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Happy Valentine's week!

I know a lot of people hate Valentine's Day. Personally I'm neutral about it. I think its stupid that men are expected to pay 3-4 times as much for roses on this day. That isn't to say I wouldn't LOVE to get flowers (in case my husband is reading this), its just I would never expect someone to waste money like that, and I'm not really a roses kind of girl.

Instead of buying my husband something he will likely never use, I almost always make him a nice dinner, and he loves pasta! So... pasta it is. I'm using the Pioneer Woman's Cajun Chicken Pasta, but I lightened it up by using less pasta, less oil, less butter, and fat free half and half in the place of heavy cream. We think its delicious!

I also wanted to make him a cheesecake, but I didn't want to have a whole cheesecake in my house because, well... honestly I'm weak! So... I'm doing a little experiment with a Vanilla Mousse Cheesecake recipe in single serving sizes. If it works out, I'll post the recipe later in the week.

Sirloin Steak with Whisky Cream Sauce, Baked Potatoes, Steamed Broccoli
Jack Daniels Chicken (purchased already made from Costco) and Alexia Sweet Potato Fries
Pioneer Woman's Cajun Chicken Pasta Lightened (recipe below), Caesar Salad, Vanilla Mousse Cheesecake - single servings
Spaghetti Pie... yes I promise we will finally eat this... it has been on my menu for 2 weeks!
Cod (from Costco) used to make "fish and chips", roasted butternut squash

Pioneer Woman's Cajun Chicken Pasta Lightened
Serves 5 @ 8 Points+ each

Fair Warning: This recipe is spicy
2 whole Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts (about 1/2 a lb), Cut Into Cubes
3 teaspoons Cajun Spice Mix
8 oz uncooked Fettuccine
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1 Tablespoon Butter
1 Green Bell Pepper, Seeded And Sliced
1 Red Bell Pepper, Seeded And Sliced
1/2 Large Red Onion, Sliced
3 cloves Garlic, Minced
4 whole Roma Tomatoes, Diced
1 cup Fat Free Chicken Broth
1/3 cup White Wine
1/2 cup fat free half and half
Cayenne Pepper To Taste
Freshly Ground Black Pepper, To Taste
Salt To Taste
Chopped Fresh Parsley, To Taste

Cook pasta and drain.

Sprinkle 1 1/2 teaspoons Cajun spice over chicken pieces. Toss to coat.
Heat 1/2 Tbsp oil and 1/2 Tbsp butter in a skillet over high heat. Add the chicken in a single layer, and allow chicken to brown on one side, about 2-3 minutes(depends on how big you cut up your chicken). Flip to the other side and cook an additional minute. Remove with a slotted spoon and place on a clean plate.

Add remaining olive oil and butter, and add the peppers, onions, and garlic. Sprinkle on remaining Cajun spice, and add salt. Cook over high heat for 1 minute, stirring and trying to get the vegetables as dark as possible. Add tomatoes and cook for an additional 30 seconds. Remove all vegetables from the pan.

With the pan over high heat, pour in the wine and chicken broth. Cook on high for 3 to 5 minutes, scraping the bottom of the pan to deglaze. Reduce heat to medium-low and pour in half and half, stirring/whisking constantly. Cook sauce over medium-low heat for a few minutes, until it starts to thicken. Add the rest of the spices to taste

Finally, add chicken and vegetables to sauce, Stir and cook for 1 to 2 minutes, until mixture is bubbly. Add drained fettuccine and toss to combine.

Top with fresh parsley if you want.

A Proverb

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 15:00:00 +0000

The Turner Syndrome symbol is the butterfly.

Here is the history of the symbol, according to the Turner Syndrome Society (TSSUS):
"The four circles from our previous logo have evolved into the wings of the butterfly. This evolution connects our past to our present. The butterfly is feminine yet strong like our members. Every butterfly is unique just like our members. Butterflies fly on their own which is what we hope all of our members will do with the help of TSSUS!"

I found this quote on Pinterest

Reverse Weight Watchers - An Update

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 14:30:00 +0000

Maybe you'll remember back to Reverse Weight Watchers. That would be where I was trying desperately to get Ms Lily to gain weight - and at the same time wanting myself to lose weight.

Well... we are nearly 4 months down the road, and as desperately as I've tried, my Lily gains weight slowly. She weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs, 2 oz at her 4 month appointment last month. She was in the 0 percentile for weight and the 1st for height. Yes, I know that a fact of Turner Syndrome is that she will be smaller. But I didn't expect it to show up so soon and so severly. I often wonder how I got children that are in such low percentiles, when I'm in the 200th percentile for weight - or at least that's how it feels.

Fast forward to early this week. I weighed Lily... and.... drumroll please!
10 lbs even!
Really?
You have to be kidding me? In 3 weeks, my daughter has managed to ~~gain~~ oops I mean lose 2 oz?
Really?
OK, she was sick for a week. That must be it.
Who am I kidding? She is never going to be the huge, roly poly baby I always imagined myself with.
She is going to be her... uniquely her, and if I've learned anything in the past year, it is that Lily does things Lily's way.

Meanwhile, we see this repeat for the last several weeks at Weight Watchers:
Down 1 lb
Gain .2
Down .8 of a lb
Down 1 lb
Sigh... yes, my weight is also decreasing... slowly, but surely. I am down a total of 8 lbs in 2 months. Those 2 months include the holidays. I'm not making excuses. I am in all honesty doing exactly what I should be doing: counting my points. Its just painstakingly SLOW! My average weight loss is under a pound a week. I can't say I'm thrilled. Can you tell? I'm not sure when my body is going to wake up and realize that I'm no longer pregnant, and it can let go of the weight - hopefully before summer though, since I really, really don't want to buy a new summer wardrobe. I already had to buy a new winter wardrobe. I really miss those pants and tops I put in a bin down the basement.

Lily is destined to gain slowly... I am destined to lose slowly. I just have to take a few deep breaths and remind myself that in a couple of years none of this will matter - for either of us!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:42:00 +0000

You might remember - or not if you're new - back in April of 2011, when this article appear in the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

Blogging it off: Lose weight, with help

It was the first time I've ever been published!

And now, with the help of another local new source, I've been published... again, or rather I should say Ms. Lily has been published. Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Yesterday the Eagan Patch ran part 1 in a two-part series:
How Eagan's Lily Reitsma Beat the Odds
And today was Part 2.

I am so honored that their editor chose to do a story about Turner Syndrome and to help spread Turner Syndrome awareness! Thank you!

Also... starting today, I'll be blogging regularly for the Patch. Yes... I was feeling bored, you know with a 4 year old, 4 month old, and full time job, so I decided I needed something else to do! I'll mostly be sharing content from here, but stayed tuned because you never know what might end up over there, that isn't posted here!

Now, if the line will form orderly to the left... we'll get started with the autograph signing...

A Place to Belong

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

When I was 19 weeks pregnant and I found out that something was not quite right with our baby, I felt alone. All around me were happy people, experiencing normal pregnancies. I felt like I was the only person in the world that was going through what I was going through.

Alone. Terrified. No hope for the future. I struggled just to exist for several weeks.

I wrote this.

The emails started coming in. They were filled with stories of other people with babies that were diagnosed in utero with a cystic hygroma. I met Deanna. She made me feel it was going to be OK, regardless of whatever condition was causing Lily’s hygroma. I started hearing from other people: people that had lost their babies, people whose babies survived the cystic hygroma, but were now coping with their ultimate diagnosis. And while we wouldn’t find out until Lily’s birth that the reason for her hygroma was Turner Syndrome, it didn’t seem to matter. I suddenly wasn’t so alone.

Our baby, Lily, made it. She was born… alive! I felt so relieved. She made it from my womb into my arms safely. We were finally told that the growth on her head was not connected to her brain, and 4 days after her birth they sent us all home… together! For weeks my brain couldn’t process any more than feed baby, sleep, feed baby, change baby, sleep, over and over again.

About six weeks after Lily’s birth, I finally started to process her diagnosis, Turner Syndrome. I started to process what this would mean – for her life, for our family, for our future. I’ll be honest, I started to freak out a little. When Lily was still in my womb I was so focused on her making it, that I never started to think about what it would be like if she really did. Suddenly, I was faced with a new reality. Again, I felt alone. Sure, I had those stories of other babies that survived a cystic hygroma, but none that I can remember actually ended up having Turner Syndrome.

In the past, even with my weight loss journey, I found that online support groups, either through email or now through facebook or other social media outlets, have been a huge source of support for me. And so, desperate to not be alone, desperate to feel normal, I started my search. I needed a place to belong. I found a yahoo group for Turner Syndrome parents at first, and then I found a Turner Syndrome group on facebook. I posted Lily’s story, I posted about our struggles, I posted about weight gain issues and reflux. It was only a matter of minutes until the responses started pouring in. These people understood. I knew I had found "my people."

No matter what you’re facing - maybe it’s a the birth of a child, a divorce, the death of a loved one, a weight loss journey, or a health issue – I encourage you to search for an online support group, to lift you up when you are down, and provide advice when you need it.

I’ve learned more from my Turner Syndrome online support groups in the past month than I ever could have imagined I would. I’ve developed friendships with people I’ve never physically met. These people are an amazing community, an extended family. They get it. We walk the same road, but we walk together – never alone. And Lily and I, we’ve finally found a place to belong!

It's True!

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:53:00 +0000

Turner Syndrome Fact #3: Girls with Turner Syndrome are super cute!

OK, OK, maybe that really wasn't a fact, but it is true!

To Be or Not to Be a Mommy?

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Today, I have the privilege of sharing with you a guest post! This was written by Kirsten, she is the mother to a beautiful TS butterfly, Sienna Rain (who was featured in this post).

TS Fact #2: One of the common features of Turner Syndrome is incomplete sexual development and ovarian failure and infertility.

To be or not to be a mommy?

I admit I struggled with this question for a long time throughout my life. When I was five, I loved playing with my “babies” and practicing being a mom. I would feed them, dress them and love them like they were real. I grew up, went to college and got a job. The thought of having my own real babies at the time did not seem appealing. I enjoyed life and still had a lot to do. Being a mommy did not seem like a high priority on my list.

I did, however, give myself a deadline. My plan was to become pregnant by 34 – if I was going to do it at all. It seemed like a reasonable age to become a mommy, and if I lived to 34 – since I had no real plans formulated after Y2K, since the general consensus was the world might end – seemed like a goal I did not have to think about. I would be 30 years old in 2000 and if I was going to die young and cool – it would be before that – the problem removed from my life, for the time being.

Despite the hype, we all lived through Y2K. I turned 30 years-old and was not as young and cool as I once thought of myself. I had divorced my first husband and was living with my dog and two cats. Still the questions of being a mommy haunted me. Not to where it consumed my thoughts in life, however it always seemed lingering in my brain wanting an answer I could not give.

I married a second time in 2003 and was enjoying life again. The same year, a doctor informed me about a health issue called endometriosis I was unfortunate enough to have. This painful condition can cause severe fertility issues, and I had four surgeries in two years to help control it. I did not have the intense pain everyone talked about with the common side-effects–in my mind if the pain was not there, how could the fertility issues be there?  I was wrong. And the dang mommy clock kept ticking in the back of my mind.

In Oct 2005, I had a myomectomy, which is a large tumor removed from my uterus growing into the walls and muscle tissues. The doctors told me I should not even attempt to get pregnant for at least 3 months and when I did, I would have to have a C-section due to the possibility of tearing the uterus during labor. The C-section I was happy about – I always thought getting and having the baby were more important than how it came into this world. Something happened in November of 2005 – maybe it was a full moon or something – the clock won. I decided to have a baby. I admit I felt the weight of the decision gone in an instant and I was OK with my new goal: 35 – 1 year later than my original goal - however better late than never, right?

I quit taking birth control pills in Nov – 1 month after the myomectomy surgery. Always a rebel at heart, I guess. And I was pregnant by Jan 2006. After a 24 hour panic attack in my head: “who was going to pay for this thing and was this a good decision?” I embraced my new growing baby bump. I made a decision to be a happy pregnant woman no matter what for the next 10 months and start planning the parent I wanted to be. I prayed I would have a cute little girl – I only wanted a girl – and she would be more like her dad than me. I was not the cute skinny cheerleader girl in school and was always jealous of those girls, besides, her dad is a nice average build – no significant fat and　stable metabolism. I wanted her to be cute and little to give her the opportunity to enjoy all those things I felt I missed myself. She would be strong and independent and smart like her mommy. Oh yeah - and humble! ;-)

My little princess came into this world on Sept 11, 2006. She was early and impatient like her mother and perfect in every little tiny way. She was 5 pounds 4 ounces of cute. We named her Sienna Rain. I am around 5’5” on a good day and her dad is 5’7” – you can guess we are not professional basketball players. My little peanut was just that. She was small to begin with and stayed there. 　She always grew on a steady curve – only the curve was always on the one percentile or lower of the growth chart. 　

I never went back on BC pills. I wanted two babies to make my ideal family perfect. I tried and tried over the next four years and ended up having more surgeries and different check-ups to make sure the tubes were not blocked. There was more money spent at fertility clinics than I care to admit.   Lots of visits and procedures involving drugs I couldn't begin to pronounce, let alone spell. Every attempt failed. No second baby ever came into this world for us. This made me a bit sad. My life was not over with only one child, and in reality my check book was heavier with only one child to spoil, however I felt a little sad not being able to give Sienna a sibling.

Over the next 4 years, Sienna's doctors expressed concern about Sienna’s height and weight – however their fears always subsided when each milestone became met as expected. Sienna is a fast learner, her speech was fine and we were also using the American Sign Language at home - all proper development according to her doctors. They could see nothing else wrong with her other than her height– they watched and waited. I had another deadline, also: if by the time she turned 5 and was not catching up to her peers in height, I would have her tested for something. No one ever said Turner Syndrome to me, however in the summer of 2011 she had a blood test and the result was Turner Syndrome (TS). The TS result explains the cute and short little girl I wanted in the beginning. My prayers were answered in a round about way!

TS girls come in all flavors with a wide variety of possible issues. Short stature is 99% universal among girls with TS. Fertility issues are the next highest side-effect. After that, heart and kidney issues can arise, and scoliosis is common also. There are even some learning issues tied with TS in some cases. TS girls can have only one X chromosomes in all or a portion of their cells. And many times if they have two X chromosomes, the second broken one is the cause of the different varieties of responses and conditions of the syndrome.

Today is 2012 and I have a 5-year-old girl with TS. We started the prescribed growth hormone shots in Dec 2011. She is a trooper. The shots are a non-issue at our house, despite the horror stories out there and the anxiety this can cause to little ones. The TS does not define us – it is something we have. Sienna is a healthy little feisty girl who tires out her mommy every day. I had a hysterectomy in December of 2011 and found out how horrible my mommy parts had become. The endometriosis did a number on my system, while those fertility issues I did not think I had, turns out I had more than anyone else expected. There was a rare chance for me to have a baby, at all, and somehow Sienna made it here. She is my miracle.

She is also me circa 1975. She is the 5-year-old me now playing with dolls, being the mommy.　 She sees her friends from daycare and school having little brothers and sisters. She wants one. This breaks my heart all the time. It broke my heart before the hysterectomy and the TS diagnosis　because I could not get pregnant again. Today, it now breaks twice every time she brings it up because she knows her mommy’s baby parts are gone. She tells me says she will have a baby in her tummy and it will be her little brother or sister. Any older than 5, this would be a creepy story, ending in millions of dollars of therapy; however I understand her 5-year-old thought process. She is trying and willing to help me get her a baby brother or sister. She is such a sweetheart.

And now I worry about how I tell this sweetheart someday she may run into these problems herself.　 The doctors did see a uterus when they did the kidney ultrasound, and it looked normal for a little girl of 5. However, at this age they cannot tell if her mommy parts will work as intended or even at all - she's still too young. We will wait until puberty and see how it’s going. It’s not unheard of for a TS girl to get her period and breasts as non-TS girls would and to have a baby. The chances are slim though. Maybe it will be early ovarian failure or maybe her parts won’t work at all. At best she will probably need whatever fertility options are out there in the future or she may need to adopt.

Every time she says “when I become a mommy…” I hope and pray she cannot decipher the look of pain on my face. I cannot dash her 5-year-old dreams of being a mommy – it would do neither of us good. She should have those same dreams and times to pretend as every other little girl does. She should practice being a mommy today because we can be mommies in other instances. My 3 dogs and 4 cats can attest to this now.   And she, as I have learned, will need all the practice, dreams, and those ways she pretends in her imagination when she becomes mommy age and starts to deal with all of these adult issues. She will have to decide if she wants the responsibility in the first place and depending on what her body can or cannot do, may have to decide sooner than I wish. To be or not to be a mommy? This question will have a lot more meaning and choices for her, and possibly some heartache I don’t want to think about, and I hope I am still here as her mommy to help her through it when the time comes. 　

Menu Monday 2/6

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 13:15:00 +0000

Best laid plans... that was really the theme of last week.

Our week took a turn around Wednesday when Lily, who had had a cough since Monday, needed to go to the doctor to get the cough, that was turning particularly nasty, checked out. They swabbed her for RSV - negative, but then turned around and said it was probably RSV anyways, she also had an ear infection. On Thursday and Friday both "L" and her were home from daycare because of a runny eye (Lily), coughs and sporadic low grade fevers. Lily also has her first ear infection, and the Amoxicillin is doing a number on her stomach. Her reflux is back, including projectile vomiting, with a vengeance, and she hasn't been feeding well either. I feel so bad for her. We are now going on a week of the cough, and it just doesn't seem she is recovering very quickly. Friday, I also ended up with the nastiness, manifested for me as a sinus infection. I was so spent by Friday at 10 am, that I asked my dear husband to come home early and rescue me. So... needless to say some of the planned dinners of last week went to the wayside.

Which brings up a good point. If we plan a dinner and something unexpected happens... what do we do. Well...we make due. We either make french toast or pancakes for dinner, eat frozen pizza, make pasta - last week it was pasta with a jarred pesto (we always have pasta and sauces on hand in our pantry), have sandwiches, eat cereal, or get take out. Life happens. We do what we can to recover and cope and move on. And we move extra meals to the next week.

Sometimes I get stressed and eat a piece of chocolate cake. Yep... that happened!

So... this week you might see a couple of meals from last weeks menu as repeats... its because we haven't eaten them yet.

What's for dinner this week

Chicken Paillards with Lemon Butter sauce, boxed risotto, butternut squash
Chicken Fajitas and Homemade Guacamole
Sweet and Sour Meatballs and Rice - Recipe Below
Spaghetti Pie, Salad
Naan Bread Pizzas
Chicken Baseballs, Veggie, and Sweet Potatoes

Sweet and Sour Meatballs
Serves 4: 4 meatballs, and 1/4 of the sauce/veggie mix 8 Points+ each

For the meatballs mix
1 lb extra lean ground beef
1 package Lipton onion soup mix
1 egg
1/2 cup dried bread crumbs (I use panko)

Roll into balls, and cook in a skillet over medium high until browned on all sides.

Sauce:
1/4 cup cider vinegar
Reserved Pineapple Juice (from below)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 Tbsp soy sauce

Mix all together and pour over meatballs, bring to a simmer and simmer 10-15 minutes. Mix 1 Tbsp cornstarch and 1 Tbsp of water... add to the mixture and stir, cooking about 1 more minute.

Add:
1 green pepper chopped
1 can (20 oz) of pineapple tidbits packed juice, drained, juice reserved

Stir and serve!

Winnie the Pooh Was a Wise Bear

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 16:00:00 +0000

Turner Syndrome Fact #1: One of the most common features of Turner Syndrome is short stature.

Winnie the Pooh was a wise bear...

It fits Lily perfectly!
I'm pretty sure given my new found love for this quote, Lily needs this for her room!

Brotherly Love

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 22:59:00 +0000

My friend Deanna (who by the way a huge thanks goes to for helping me promote Turner Syndrome Awareness month) always posts hilarious pictures of her 2 little ones. Her baby boy, Carter, was born around the same time as Lily and she had an almost 2 year old, "Chubbs" who just happens to sport an extra chromosome. Chubbs had a cystic hygroma prenatally, just like Ms. Lily did. That's how Deanna and I were "introduced". Anyways, together those two equal hilarity.

Whenever I see her pictures I think... oh my children would NEVER act that way. They are much too ~~sweet~~, ~~kind~~, ~~well-behaved, docile~~

Chubbs and Carter, this is for you

Be prepared... I am about to...

Use my magic to extract all your thoughts out of your head... and replace them with a...

... bright pink hat! And I quote: "I didn't knock her over... I was just playing with her, because she likes to be knocked over"

I'm so glad Ms. Lily has her big brother to "help" her as she grows up.

You have Taught Me

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

You have Taught Me
by Anne Maclellan March 1998

You have taught me patience
to rejoice in small gains which others take for granted.
You have taught me tolerance
to accept that your perspective is different
and deserves respect.
You have taught me courage
to fight for you when no one else will.
You have taught me endurance
to go on when I feel I can't any more.
You have taught me humility
to accept when I can't make things better
but can only be here for you.
You have taught me to love
at a deeper level than I ever thought possible

"You have taught me patience"
I had to wait for a full 18 weeks to find out your exact diagnosis. This required a level of patience I didn't even think I had.
"to rejoice in small gains which others take for granted."
small gains for us means in your weight and height. You are small, everyone has to comment on it, and not necessarily in the nicest way. They seem to think we are starving you. You sometimes only gain 1-2 oz a week, while other babies are gaining 1/4 to a 1/2 pound. You are tiny, but mighty. You are in the 0 percentile for weight and 1 for height at 4 months. At least you are getting good use out of your clothes! Some people take the growth of a baby for granted... I rejoice at each small ounce bigger you are, at each millimeter longer you get.
"You have taught me tolerance..."
Tolerance... tolerance for the hours and hours of fussy, colicky crying, and the hours I begged for you to eat more than an ounce at a time.
"You have taught me courage to fight for you when no one else will."
I fought for you before you were born. I didn't have an amnio because even though the miscarriage risk is small, it is still real,and I don't play odds well.
I fought the neurosurgeon for an answer after you were born. He didn't seem to care we were waiting for an answer. I was never so glad when we were told we wouldn't be needing his assistance.
I fought for you when you were projectile vomiting twice a day, and no doctor seemed concerned. I knew your little tummy was having issues.
I fight for you daily... to bring you the best medical care available, and the happiest life possible.
"You have taught me endurance to go on when I feel I can't any more."
Some days... maybe more like a lot of days... I feel at the end of my rope. When I have a full load of work, and the garage door doesn't open and the stove is broken, when both you and your brother are sick, and I haven't showered in 3 days... when you cry and cry and cry. I wonder how much longer I can do it. Then I think about how strong you were before you were even born. How you showed amazing endurance then and every day since! You are strong, you make me stronger.
"You have taught me humility to accept when I can't make things better but can only be here for you."
There is so much I cannot change with and for you. I cannot get your missing chromosome back, I can advocate for you, but I can't change the essence of your make up. And even though I initially wanted to, now I accept it. I don't want it back, because then you wouldn't be you. And I love who you are... all of it.
"You have taught me to love at a deeper level than I ever thought possible"
Before I ever met you (except on an ultrasound screen), I loved you. I tried for many weeks, after our devastating ultrasound to detach myself from you even though you were living inside of me. I wanted to stop loving you, because I didn't want to hurt if you died. I tried to ignore your kicks and punches. I wanted to stop loving you, and the more I tried, the more I loved you. I hold you now, I smell your little head, with its gorgeous little swirl of a curl right on top, and I am so grateful you are here, and the past year seems like a distant nightmare!

Lily's Story

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Its day 2 of Turner Syndrome Awareness month, and I'm beyond excited to share that I've received nearly 2000 views of the Turner Syndrome awareness posts from the past 2 days in just the past 24 hours! That doesn't count the 500 email and feed subscribers that have also received the posts! Just think of the people, we've been able to educate. I am humbled and grateful to other bloggers that have helped me spread the word! THANK YOU!

For today, I wanted to bring your attention to this little girl

You remember her, right?

I've added a tab at the top of my page - Lily's Story. This chronicles in order - from pregnancy announcement (before I even knew of Lily's condition) to Lily's birth story - my pregnancy. It contains links to all of my weekly pregnancy update posts, and other posts that were significant for me along last years journey. While that journey has ended - and another type of journey, raising Lily, has begun, I wanted to make sure that anyone visiting here had easy access to it, that it might offer them some peace and hope, or maybe just show them that maybe they are feeling angry and that's OK. Read it and marvel in the miracle of a Turner Syndrome girl that was part of the 1% that made it.

To anyone reading this with Turner Syndrome, I hope you realize what an amazing and wonderful miracle you are too!

I hope when you read Lily's story you will know that God - the God of wonders - is definitely an amazing, loving, and all knowing God.

Our Beautiful Butterflies

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Several weeks ago I had an idea - an idea to share with you what Turner Syndrome looks like. To show you that Turner Syndrome girls are gorgeous and amazing and come in all varieties... just like anyone else.

There is a video that the Turner Syndrome Society created that has the tag line, “I am the same as everyone else yet different than everyone else". I hope by viewing this video and seeing the girls below that you will truely come to believe this.

This project quickly became my passion. I have spent a large amount of my "free time" in the past several weeks, working on this project and learning more about these sweet girls and their mommies! I have been moved to tears many times, and I have been touchly more deeply than I ever thought possible. I learned that Lily and I are not alone, and it has made a huge difference for me. I'm beyond thrilled to share this with you today.

My hope is that you'll share this post as much as possible. Please post it to your facebook, tweet a link to it, email it to your family, friends, your local media. Together we can make a difference!

The butterfly is the Turner Syndrome symbol. The TSSUS chose the butterfly because the butterfly is feminine yet strong, every butterfly is unique, and butterflies fly on their own which is our hope for our girls. I think it fits so well because butterflies may at first glance appear fragile, but are truly strong and beautiful, just like these girls!

You, of course, know Ms. Lily Grace, my miracle baby and 4 month old girl wonder, but let me now share with you some of the other amazing beautiful butterflies that have Turner Syndrome.

Sienna Rain - 5

Diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at age 4.
Sienna has a horseshoe kidney, short stature, and she is far-sighted - both parents wear glasses though!. She has no other physical symptoms and has a perfectly formed and working heart! Her mom says that her only worry is for her future fertility issues. Like any normal 5 year old playing with dolls does, she wants to be a mommy, and her mother doesn't want to see her heartbroken.

Ivy - 18 months

Diagnosed with Turner Syndrome by a chance amnio, Ivy showed no signs in utero.

Her parents are happy they knew though, as she had a heart defect that came about a day or two after she was born and demanded immediate attention. She came home at 10 days old with a fixed heart! She is now full of spunk, love and snuggles. She's funny and smart. She loves her tutu's, babies and hotwheels. Her mom says that they are "blessed and greatful for our little redheaded princess.."

Mackenzie - 3

Diagnosed at 5 months. Mackenzie is deaf and has some behavioural problems that often come as a factor with Turner Syndrome. Despite all this she is an amazing little girl who has just started nursery school 5 afternoons a week.

Kelsey - 6

Diagnosed July 2011. Kelsey plays ice hockey (go Kelsey!) She loves the color pink, her stuffed puppy "Penny" and swimming in the summer. She also loves to eat pasta!

Check out Kelsey's mom's blog

Sajda - 11 months

Sajda was born with a congenital heart defect - Pulmonary Atresia with VSD. She had open heart surgery at 5 days old. It wasn't until later testing that it was determined she had Turner Syndrome. She has the Mosaic form of Turner's Syndrome. So far she is doing great and is enjoying life with 4 older brothers. Her mother says, "She is our joy, our sunshine."

Check out her Sajda's mom's blog.

Caroline Bella - 14 months

Caroline has Classic Turner Syndrome and was diagnosed at birth due to a cystic hygroma during utero, and her puffy hands and feet at birth. She is a true fighter. She is still getting a grasp on her gross motor skills because she had developmental dysplasia of the hips (DDH) (dislocated hip) that was not diagnosed until 4 months. She had 8 months of hip treatments in which the final three months were in a Spica cast. The cast went from just above her belly button to her ankles. Caroline loves pretty much everything as long as she is not hungry or sleepy. She loves to be outside, she loves her doggies, and she loves her mommy and daddy the most. Caroline's mom says, "Caroline is a true joy and an amazing little girl. It has been one emotional journey, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I am looking forward to seeing God’s plan for our little miracle."

Check out Caroline's mom's blog

Veronica - 9

Veronica was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at 6 years old.
She has various medical issues-Long QT, IBS, recurrent upper respiratory illnesses and Aspergers. In spite of all this she is a fire ball of activity. Her favorite mode of transportation is somersaults everywhere she goes! She is a great actress and Drama Queen - friendly, loving and bubbly! Veronica loves to read and anything to do with science.

Alessandra "Ali" - 6 months

Ali has classic Turner Syndrome (45 XO.) that was diagnosed at birth. She loves to eat applesauce and bananas! Some of her favorite things that she loves to do are... SMILE, play with Mommy, Daddy, Papa and Mema and she loves, loves, loves to roll over! Her mom writes, "I am so blessed to call her my daughter/miracle!"

Josslyn Maren - 6

Josslyn is currently in Kindergarden. She loves to play with her dog and siblings. She wants to be a Veterinarian/Zoo Keeper when she grows up! Check out her mom's blog

Emma Rayne - 7 months

Emma was a definite miracle and blessing to her family after a stillbirth (Emily) at 28 weeks and a miscarriage. Emma had hydrops and a cystic hygroma that resolved at 28 weeks. She loves her Laugh and Learn school house clock and her little pink pig that attaches to her car seat carrier. Her favorite thing in the world right now is her 4 year old sister Erika Shae. She looks up at her and you can tell she already adores her. Currently her day consists of physical therapy once a week to try to get her to sit up and visiting her Grandma Bollmer. She is a very curious child and it is funny to watch her watch people. She is also starting to become an avid cartoon and history channel watcher!

Ainsley Grace and Aubrey Lynn - 15 months

Twins with mosaic Turner Syndrome. Often referred to as "my tinkerbugs" by their mom. They are your typical happy-go-lucky, social toddlers, they just happen to be smaller. They both like little people toys and mega blocks, The Wiggles, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and being outside and swinging in their swings. They are both advanced for their age in certain areas, so even though they may lack in certain areas they definitely make up for it elsewhere.

Ainsley is the more serious of the two and prefers to play quietly, she is so content reading books, her current favorite is 'Go, Dog. Go!' by Dr. Seuss. She walks around saying "go dog, go" all the time, then she woofs. Her favorite part is at the end of the story when they go to the dog party because her mom sings "Who Let the Dogs Out" and she dances around. Ainsley has glasses, but doesn't really like to keep them on.

Aubrey, "my tiny mighty", as described by her mother is definitely the clown of the two. Despite all of the ordeals she has gone through she is one of the happiest little girls ever! She does have congenital heart defects, but she has loads of heart! Aubrey also loves to read and dance. Her favorite book right now is Farley Farts, thanks to her adoring Aunts we own a book with farts in the title and that makes fart sounds. If anyone says Farley both Ainsley and Aubrey start making raspberry sounds with their mouths.

Juliana Grace Rose

Juliana has Classic Turner Syndrome 45x, diagnosed in utero with an amnio because of a 16cm septated hygroma and hydrops. She was born at 35.6 weeks on June 2, 2011. She had CoA and hypoplastic arch repair at 3.5 days old.

Feburary is Turner Syndrome Awareness Month

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:08:00 +0000

February is Turner Syndrome Awareness Month. During February 2012, The Turner Syndrome Society of the US (TSSUS) will launch its second Annual Awareness Campaign: “Celebrating 25 Years and Growing Stronger.”

Turner Syndrome is a chromosomal disorder that affects one in 2,500 female births. It is where a female is missing all or part of the second "X" chromosome. As you may already know my daughter Lily is missing all of her second "X" chromosome and was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome at birth.

Turner Syndrome girls/women are usually of average intelligence, but have a varying set of other conditions such as:

Delayed puberty

Heart defects

Puffy hands and feet

Infertility

Kidney, Thyroid and Liver Concerns

Hearing loss

Frequent ear infections

Learning and Social Difficulties

Osteoporosis.

Plus many females with Turner syndrome show common physical traits including:

Short Stature (under 5 feet)
Many moles
receding lower jaw
Low-set ears
Triangular face
A webbed neck

Currently, there are approximately 80,000 women and girls affected with TS in the United States with approximately 800 new cases diagnosed each year.

Unfortunately, many people, including physicians, are not aware of Turner syndrome and often the diagnosis is missed. Half the girls are not diagnosed until their pre-teens or later. Because of some of the medical issues, early diagnosis is critical. With the help of medical specialists and a good social support system, a woman with Turner Syndrome can live a happy, healthy life

Starting on Wednesday - February 1st - I am dedicating 29 days of blogging to crushing the ignorance of Turner Syndrome in honor of my daughter, Lily. Please join me, find out more about Turner Syndrome, and pass as much information on as you can to your friends, family, the media, business associates, health care professionals, and even strangers! You never know whose life you could affect. Together we can Crush Ignorance of Turner Syndrome!

The information used for this post is taken from the Turner Syndrome Awareness Press Release, put together by TSSUS for Turner Syndrome awareness month.

Menu Monday 1/30

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Happy Monday! I'm actually glad the weekend is over. There is something comforting about being back to the weekday routine, and winter weekends leave us with a very active 4 year old that needs to be constantly entertained!

This week we have a couple of appointments in the early evenings, so for those days I'm trying to keep it as quick and simple as possible!

Here's the menu for this week:
-- Bruschetta Chicken Bake (recipe below) - Lettuce Salad - This passed the 4 year old pickiness test!
-- Marinated Steaks, Baked Potatoes and Salad (We made this last night, and we actually BBQed... charcoal BBQ, in January in Minnesota! Love it!)
-- Frozen Pizza - yep... even in our house these nights happen. We buy the thin crust Bellatoria pizzas from Costco. They have an amazing chicken fajita pizza that is very reasonable in the calories/fat department.
-- Spaghetti Pie, Steamed Broccoli
-- Tomato Cheese Quiche, Fresh Pineapple
-- Sweet and Sour Meatball and Steamed Rice

Bruschetta Chicken Bake
(Courtesy of Kraft)
5 servings - 6 Points+ each

1 can (14-1/2 oz.) diced tomatoes, undrained - I used the Italian style ones
2 cloves garlic, minced

1 pkg. (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Stuffing Mix for Chicken
1/2 cup water
1 lb. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into pieces
1 tsp. dried basil leaves I used fresh and would not substitute
1 cup KRAFT part-skim Shredded Mozzarella Cheese

PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Place tomatoes with liquid in medium bowl. Add garlic, stuffing mix and water; stir just until stuffing mix is moistened. Set aside.

PLACE chicken in 13x9-inch baking dish; sprinkle with basil and cheese. Top with stuffing mixture.

BAKE 30-40 minutes until chicken is cooked through

Real Choices on a Real Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 13:40:00 +0000

Yesterday was a bad, bad day. Yes, I used two bads. I get to. It was just that type of day. Nothing seemed to be going right.

So... in the interest of full disclosure, I'm going to give you a peek at what my Weight Watchers tracker looked like yesterday:

PointsPlus® Tracker entries

Friday, January 27, 2012

Morning

1/2 cup(s) uncooked old fashioned oats

1 Tbsp unpacked brown sugar

1 1/2 Tbsp ground flax seed meal

SF Vanilla Americano -- Cream

Subtotal

Midday

1/3 cup(s) cooked white rice

1/2 serving(s) sweet n spicy cashew chicken

Subtotal

Evening

Smashburger - Quick-added food

Fried Pickles - Quick-added food

Subtotal

Anytime

32 fl oz light beer

Subtotal

Food PointsPlus values total used

Food PointsPlus values remaining

Activity

No entries for activity.

Activity PointsPlus values earned

Check off these important items daily:

Liquids	Milk & Milk Products
Fruit & vegetables	Multivitamin/Mineral
Healthy Oil	Activity

Notes

© 2012 Weight Watchers International, Inc. © 2012 WeightWatchers.com, Inc. All rights reserved.
WEIGHT WATCHERS and PointsPlus® are the registered trademarks of Weight Watchers International, Inc. and are used under license by WeightWatchers.com, Inc.

Now you might think my journal looked like that because of the previously mentioned no good, very bad day. That is actually the farthest from the truth, so stick with me here.

For several weeks my husband has been asking me if we can go to Smashburger. Now, I'm not sure if you know Smashburger, but it is delicious in my opinion. They "fry" their burgers on a flat-top instead of grilling them. They come loaded with the fixins. They have garlic rosemary french fries and fried pickles for goodness sakes! I ate there a lot when I'm pregnant. Yes, Weight Watchers, feel free to thank Smashburger for the 40+ pounds I have to take off in order to get back to my goal weight. Smashburger probably single handedly assured that I would never make it back to goal in the "free" 12 weeks I'm allowed after baby. Anyways... its good, its greasy, and the small Smashburger with really no condiments except cheese is 15 Points+. The Smashfries are 14 Points+.

So... my husband has been asking to go, and we have planned all week that last night would be THE NIGHT. I have all my weekly points, I planned a healthy, filling breakfast, and a light lunch. I didn't eat any snacks. But then... impromptu happy hour struck... I drank beer... light beer, but a big beer! But we had still planned to go to Smashburger, and so we did. I ate a burger, but instead of fries I got the pickles... because they are way less points.

I enjoyed my dinner, it tasted good. It was worth it. I planned this. I chose this. I am happy with this choice, and now I'm moving on. This is Friday in my world. This is real life. Not sure what Friday in your world looks like, but I don't eat vegetable soup and carrot sticks. I drink beer with friends and have a good time. I eat Smashburger with my family. I choose this. This is not reflective of my bad day, this is not emotional eating. This is reflective of a lifetime of changes and choices.

These types of choices helped me lose 115 pounds. I chose ice cream and real cream in my coffee, and I made swaps other places to allow that to happen. Its all about balance, and choices, and lasting change!

What do you choose?

Have an amazing weekend!

Weigh In Thursday... Nada!

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:06:00 +0000

I think I've finally broken my scale addiction habit. I have now successfully stayed off my home scale for 2 full weeks in a row! This is huge for me. I am not weighing myself like I am an addict, and last week I still thought about it a lot, but this week, I barely thought about it at all. Its nice to have my mind back for awhile.

Unfortunately, the scale was not kind to me this week. I was very hopeful, as I tracked everything I ate, got my water in, and ate within my points. My reward... nothing! I didn't lose, and I didn't gain. This postpartum body really has me tearing my hair out some days.

I can do everything right and lose 2-3 pounds, or I can do everything right and lose nothing. I'm not sure how to deal with that. On top of it all my face is broken out like a hormonal teenager, and I just got over this strange breakout of some type all over my lips. I did not have so many issues reclaiming my "normal" body back after "L" was born, so I have to admit all of this is not something that I expected still 4 months postpartum.

I'm sure my stress levels, and my lack of sleep from having both a 4 month old, that was extra cranky from her shots, and a sick 4 year old both in the past week has probably contributed not only to the stall on the scale, but also to the Clearasil that is needed on my face.

Today after I weighed in, I did sit and mope for awhile. You would have done the same thing... don't lie. But as usual, I left my meeting feeling empowered. It always does that for me. Empowered to take on a new week, keep making healthy choices, and know that eventually the stupid scale has to budge... right?

I hope some day to wake up and be back in my size 8 pants, with perfect skin, and a naive life, but I fear that is not on the docket for any time soon. So in the mean time I do my best. I pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue on the journey. Really... what other options do I have. I am not about to go back to this:

EVER!
As Winston Churchill said, and I love "Never never never never give up!"

Things I'm Loving Right Now

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:31:00 +0000

Since starting back to diligently counting points I've found some new to me things that I'm loving. I thought you might love them too!

Chester's PuffCorn

You can have 3 full cups (1 oz) of this fake-cheesy, salty, goodness for only 4 Points Plus. Um.... what are you waiting for? Why are you still reading this post... go to the store and get some... now! Just remember that if Cheetos/chips are a red light food for you, definitely pre-portion these first so you don't find yourself eating the whole bag, and don't say I didn't warn you!

Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk

OK, you guys probably already know about this, and I'm late to the party, but the Almond Breeze unsweetened vanilla almond milk is 1 Points Plus for 1 cup! I love it in smoothies, on my oatmeal or over my cereal.

Ruby Red Grapefruit

0 points of deliciousness! And if you think grapefruits are sour nastiness... try this kind. So sweet! For some reason, eating a grapefruit squashes my cravings for other things... not sure why, but I'll take it.

Fat Free Vanilla Frozen yogurt with cashews

So I've discovered Kemp's fat free frozen yogurt - vanilla flavor. It's only 2 Points Plus. I add half an ounce of salted cashews for another 2 Points Plus. Salty and sweet, yes please!

Panera - Pesto Garden Veggie Soup and Thai chopped chicken salad

This lunch (half salad, cup of soup) - minus the baguette - for 8 Points Plus! So delicious, and an amazing choice for eating out and staying 100% on plan.

Costco - Cranberry Orange Breakfast Rounds
These are almost like little round pitas. You find them by the prepackaged breads... not in the "bakery section" You can carefully slice them in half and make into 2 pieces. I've been toasted and eating with butter for breakfast. 4 Points Plus total!

Making my own oatmeal
I've finally stopped buying those oatmeal packages. This is cheaper, you get a bigger serving, tastes better, and has less sugar. I take 1/2 cup of old fashioned oats, 1 Tbsp craisins , 1-1/2 Tbsp ground flax, 1 Tbsp brown sugar and make it in the microwave in a big mug. I add 1/2 a cup of almond milk.
Points Plus total = 6 points

I hope this gives you some new food ideas. What are you loving right now? Leave me a comment, as I love to get new ideas, or post a comment to my facebook page.

Menu Monday 1/23

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

Happy Monday!

I wanted to let you know that you can now "like" Fat Little Leg on facebook! All of my blog posts should then show up in your feed... or at least that's the idea. Stick with me while I figure all of this out over the next few weeks.

Anyways... on to the task at hand. What's for dinner this week!

We've passed the middle point of January, and in my mind that means hopefully only a couple more months left of winter. Yes... sometimes I wonder why I live in Minnesota. I am not a lover of winter that's for sure. Looks like we'll have a little freezing rain covered with an inch or so of snow this morning. FUN! Has me thinking comfort food, and the Skinny Salisbury Steak with mashed potatoes below is perfect comfort food! 2 thumbs up on that one from my family!

Oh, and I almost forgot... look who's sitting in her new high chair, joining us at the table now

Peanut in her new high chair!

Nope... she's not "eating" anything yet, for now she's just practicing sitting, and we are practicing getting 2 hands back to eat with!
Skinny Salisbury Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Peas
Rachel Ray's Fire Roasted Cheese Enchiladas - lightened... recipe below
Chicken BLT Panini - new recipe I'm trying, review will be forthcoming and Caprese Pasta Salad
Pancakes for Dinner
Sweet and Spicy Cashew Chicken, Rice

What's on your menu this week? What's your favorite comfort food.

Fire Roasted Cheese Enchiladas
Makes 13 enchiladas at 4 Points Plus each

1 tsp olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
garlic cloves, finely chopped
Salt and black pepper
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 14-ounce can fire roasted crushed tomatoes

1/2 cup chicken broth

13 corn tortillas

4 green onions, chopped

1/4 cup cilantro, chopped

3-1/2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese (I used Co Jack)

Saute onions and garlic in olive oil for about 5 minutes. Add in salt, pepper, cumin, and chili powder, can of tomatoes, and chicken broth. Bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes on low heat.

Meanwhile combine 3 cups of the shredded cheese, green onions and cilantro. Set aside.

Soft corn tortillas in non-stick frying pan over medium heat, one by one. Fill each with around 1/4 cup of the cheese mixture. Roll up and put in a greased 9 x 13 pan. Top with tomato mixture and remaining 1/2 cup of cheese. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

Weigh In - 1/19/12

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:30:00 +0000

Can you believe that we are already nearing the end of the third week in January?
Can you believe that this little pumpkin is already 4 months old as of Monday?

I can't!

Can you even believe that I lost 2.6 pounds this week and got my first 5 pound star?

I'm now at a total of 6.2 pounds lost since I returned to Weight Watchers 5 weeks ago.

Would you believe me if I told you that I never weighed myself even once between weigh ins this week. That felt good. It sure made me feel more sane. More sane = good. It actually made this week feel easier.

For the first time all winter my winter coat doesn't feel super tight. Its a good thing too, because it was 8 below zero here Thursday morning. I could actually breathe when I zipped it up. I noticed the little bit of extra room, and smiled happily to myself. I regained a little of the confidence and pride I had when I was working my way down the scale before Lily (BL). That felt good... really good!

Attitude Adjustment

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 14:29:00 +0000

So last week I was whiny... really whiny. It happens. I posted this. I was hating my body... hating my weight. I was feeling like it was all really unfair. And then, I got exactly what I needed, this comment:

Valerie (seattlerunnergirl)said...

I know you might want to smack me for this, but I would trade every one of those 40 pounds for your daughter in a heartbeat. Or, rather, I think you would. If given a choice between whether you could erase the last year AND the weight, but in so doing you'd have to give up your little girl, I'm pretty sure you'd choose to keep Lily and the weight. It just sucks that you can't have BOTH Lily AND your goal weight right now. But you will eventually. I'm believing it for you AND for me because I'm pretty much in the same place.

Now I don't know if you read Valerie's blog, but I have for probably about a year and a half. It was one of the first blogs I started reading when I started running. Then, last year within about the same week we both announced our pregnancies. Val was due in September... 3 weeks before me. And in September, her little girl was born just 1 day before mine. We both had C-sections. We are both "losers" of weight and now gainers of weight because of our sweet babies.

I read Val's comment and I cried. I'm not talking a dainty little cry, I'm talking big sobs, snotty nose crying. What she said was so obvious and so true. Why, why did I not think of that myself?

I would absolutely 100 percent any day trade even more than 40 lbs for my daughter. I would trade it all back. I would trade all 115 pounds back if I had to for her. I would trade 200 pounds for her. I wouldn't want to, but I would do it, without even thinking about it.

As much as the miracle of Lily has changed me, it is obvious that the old ways of thinking about myself are still sometimes fully intact - the old ways of equating my worth to a number on a stupid scale.

I am not what I weigh!

I have been letting the post-pregnancy weight define me, rule my emotions, get me down. I am done.

Don't get me wrong, I am still as driven as ever to get back to my goal, , but at this point if I never lost another pound, but was guaranteed to be able to snuggle my sweet baby girl every day, I would be happy.

I will love myself where I'm at.

I will live my life where I'm at.

And that... is why I do this. Why I put this out here, because I know I'm not the only person that struggles with these things. I know I'm not the only mother who's gained too much weight during a pregnancy, I know I'm not the only mother of a Turner Syndrome miracle, that wonders what the future will bring. I know I'm not the only woman that judges her self worth by the number on the scale, and I know when I'm being short-sighted and not seeing the forest for the trees, that I have someone who will come and pull me up and give me what I need - which this time was a good attitude adjustment!

Zipfizz Winners!

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah - Fat Little Legs) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 03:45:00 +0000

We have 2 winners!

The first winner is comment #17 from Melanie:
"Just liked it on FB too! I need that pick me up in the afternoons too!!"

The second winner is comment #4 from RJ:
"I've been following your blog for quite some time, but I just made it official! I look forward to reading your postings each day."

Congrats Melanie and RJ. Please email your mailing address to fatlittlelegs@yahoo.com and I'll pass your info on to Zipfizz! Enjoy and please come back and let me know what you think!

Thank you everyone that took the time to enter!