I don’t get the toilet paper thing – use baby wipes – use a washcloth – use a leaf.

I don’t get the water thing – hello – turn on the faucet in your kitchen.

I don’t even get the bread thing – I have a bread maker – I can do that.

But Cheez-Its!
Oh I get that. It’s not like I can actually make them. I went to several stores and then the almightly Amazon and guess what – NO Cheez -Its for at least 2 weeks. All it says is limited quantity in red letters with a red exclamation point. That’s the exact same color red and language they use for Purelll. Which you can make yourself if you have alcohol but unfortunately that has the red exclamation point as well.

So just to be clear – Cheez-Its, Purell and rubbing alcohol are all in the same category of “you can’t get that anytime soon – too bad you didn’t think of hoarding it earlier.”

If I don’t go outside I really don’t need the Purell or rubbing alcohol but the Cheez-Its? That’s gonna hurt.

Initially I started a diary of all the things I was going to accomplish while at home. This way I could recount how productive I was. I had a huge list of to-do items that have been hanging around my head for months. In my head the list was giant. Well it seems that they either didn’t take as long as I thought they would or there really weren’t that many because after 7 days I was out of chores.

Which brings me to here – writing a blog – the thing people do when they don’t have anything else to do.

Closets and drawers organized and cleaned out.

Basement and garage ditto

Gardens mulched

These were the obvious things and my friends were sending me photos of their under the kitchen sink organized areas. Ahh is this is what we have come to – after only 2 days?

I dyed my hair – successfully – but then I am not going out so who’s to know.
I don’t think hair dressing will be my next career choice.

I gave my dog Justin a hair cut – turns out grooming a dog is way harder than it looks. He looks like I trimmed him with a weed-wacker. Then again he’s a dog and no one is coming here to visit so who’s to know.

I don’t think dog groomer will be my next career choice.

It’s been so long…
I moved to a real farm – no really, we have goats and a sheep and a rooster and hens.

My two oldest daughters are married. Miracle of Miracles.
Middle daughter is a Nicu nurse.
I had breast cancer and a double mastectomy and I am fine. Real Miracle.
Both of my parents passed away 3 years ago. It’s still a little sad. I miss them.
I have one granddaughter. I’m making her into a farm girl.
Business is great.
Husband is great.
Third daughter is in law school.

That’s it in a nutshell – now let’s get down to the details – cause you know that is where the devil lies!!

instagram @fauxfarmgirls

Where the heck have I been? Not dead! I have been around and very busy – I guess too busy to write but I am finding the time so I’m going to give this another shot. So get your boots on cause we are going for a ride.

Amish snowman and snow lady

What can you do with fabric scraps? Ask the Amish! You can make 110 drawstring school bags. That’s what our Amish friends did with the fabric scraps. Last Friday I joined them at the one room school house where their children go to school. I helped the Amish children, grades 1- 8, filled the bags with school supplies. The children all sang a few songs for us, followed by a snack and then a quick snow ball fight at recess. I felt like Laura Ingalls!

We delivered the school kits to Christian Ministries where they will be distributed in Haiti.

This is a new term and I made it up all for myself and now I am sharing it with you.  Because I know you feel my pain.

DIFM stands for Do It For Me!  I have had just about enough of all of this DIY crap.  I work, I have kids, I have to clean my house and now you think it would be a good idea for me to re-tile my bathroom. By myself? Think again buddy. If I were  good at tiling it would BE my job.  But it ain’t my job which would leave one to conclude that I am not really not any good at it. And really  - what’s the learning curve here? I only have one bathroom so why would I want  to learn to do something that I am only ever going to do once in my lifetime.  My brain is already overloaded with useless once in a lifetime info like how to put together an Ikea bookcase.  By the time I finish the last tile it might look ok but what the 300 tiles that came before that final good one.  They  would look horrible and we both know it.  I will either have to live with my rotten crooked tile job or pay a professional to remove all of it and do it again correctly.  So here’s a thought – why don’t I just have them do it for me right from the git go. It actually saves me a lot of money and time and I will certainly feel so much better and a lot less frustrated. And after all, it is all about me?  So when it comes to re-tiling my bathroom I will love picking out the tile and the grout and then I will happily wait for the professional to come and DO IT FOR ME.

If you are handy in the yard you might be able to make one of these. This was made out of twigs.

This is Bob’s idea of cleaning his toilet.  What?

That’s the horse I want.  And the poster is cool too!