I am almost 46 and definitively perimenopausal.

How do I know? Certainly I’ve not learnt it in the manual I was given at birth (NOT!), but from my reactions in the morning when my perimenopausal persona comes alive and kicking!

It’s funny how most of us know (both women and men) that young girls go through puberty and those pesky hormones create all sorts of havoc in theirs and their parents’ life. We know the craziness is unintentional, temporary and natural. So we know that “even this shall pass”, we brace for it and prey it will be over soon. 

As a woman I have gone through that very confusing time, and I remember what’s like to be both a little kid and growing human that doesn’t know what the heck is going on in their body and mind. So, when I see a girl going through puberty, I know her behaviour is normal because I’ve been there, done that. 

Then, there is being pregnant. If one has not experienced first hand the joys of your body and mind being actually taken over, there’s plenty of filmography showing crying women that get transformed into screaming beasts by the time they hit the delivery room. We all have seen it. We know what looks like. We know what is normal. 

And again, on my part, been there, done that.

But then you hit your 40s and you really think “that’s it, I am in control now”, which feels so liberating. You know who you are and what you want in life. Finally. 

Until perimenopause hits you. And it’s when everything gets very confusing… again!

It feels like someone else has taken control over who you are. So, forget all you know and have taken for granted for 40 odd years…that you are that person, that you patience has that limit, that you never break a sweat and you are a morning person. Because when you enter the perimenopausal arena, all the rules and what you knew to be true for you, are to be re-written. 

And there is so little we know of what that looks like, it is crazy!

I remember my mum being my age when I was 25. She never mentioned the ‘M’ word, so I thought that being crazy, moody, depressive and anxious was part of her personality. But I now wonder…because this is how I feel now…

Most mornings I feel that I would bite anyone’s head (even our poor cat’s) just because they had the audacity of interrupting my train of thoughts with a laugh or even a deep sigh. 

Concentrating on even the smallest tasks can be a challenge. I often find myself halfway through going to a room or opening a drawer and hanging there for seconds trying to remember what I wanted to get.

Periods are all over the place. One month you are blessed with two and the next you don’t know when it’s coming, which is very inconvenient for so many reasons. Sex? Events? Holidays? Anyone?

My moods. What to say? For some time I had honestly thought I was going mad. Feeling horribly down (I know it’s raining and the winter blues are a real thing) one minute and terribly anxious the one after that has become my almost daily challenge.

Waking up in the middle of the night with a rushing mind that wouldn’t stop creating the worst case scenario of any of your worries like in the best scripted horror film. I thought I was bipolar. 

Feeling paralysed and wanting to hide has been one reaction that scared me lately as it leads to even more isolation and overthinking, which is never a good option, especially in this delicate period of our lives. My duvet has never had so much appeal…

As a female representative, I can confidently say that this hormonal craziness sucks big time! Men are luckier because they travel through life pretty untouched by any of this troublesome crap.

All is lost? Of course, not. But we need to discuss options ladies, because perimenopause is still considered taboo and there is little information out there. Getting together and talking about it is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves and our partners as well.

There is no denying that everybody experiences different symptoms with different intensity and we do not know honestly how long this mayhem will go on for (5-10 years?), however, we do know that there are things we can do to cope better and feel well about ourselves.

So…”Roll roll up ladies and gentlemen, here comes the marvellous balancing act of maintaining our sanity whilst stop fighting with ourselves and nature”:

Exercise

I resist it like mad, but actually exercise in all its forms has so many benefits that its importance cannot be overstated:

1. Makes you get out of your head. Overthinking and getting stuck in a negative thought patterns is very damaging to our confidence and wellbeing. The best way of interrupting those patterns is by grounding yourself and exercise is its supreme expression.
2. Replaces food and other habits that do not serve us in the long run with a healthy that makes you stronger
3. Gives us the opportunity to connect with others that go through the same journey and we stop feeling abnormal or alone in this. It can help normalising the way of looking at menopause which is very healthy
4. We move our bodies. Practicing a functional training keeps your body healthy and strong, which is the base of our mobility when we will be older
5. We have an opportunity to get out in nature. It has a proven calming effect on our body and mind
6. Provide a serotonin boost. Yes, ladies, the nature high that makes us happy and content. Bring it on!

Meditation

How many times did I actually say ”it’s not for me” before I embraced it properly? Tons.

I used to find standing still with myself almost impossible. What a waste of time! I also thought I wasn’t doing it right because how can you just breathe and that’s it? But it is that simple, and it actually helps. Through meditation you slow down (and man, living in London we really need it!) and you get the opportunity to have honest look at what we have been trying to run from. And the good news is, it’s not as scary as you might think.

Compassion

Yes , you heard me.

I get it. This is one I really struggle with as well, especially when I am in the midst of all the hormone storm that takes my rational self to another planet. But being patient with yourself is incredibly challenging and important. There is no point in beating ourselves up for feeling a certain way… just learn how to surf the wave and do something for yourself while it passes. It can be honestly fun to laugh at ourselves. It really doesn’t’ have to be so serious.

Connection

If you have no time or patience for anything else in life, do this one thing. 

We need to come together, girls. We need to talk about what’s going on with honesty and without shame. Being perimenopausal is natural, it happens to 50% of the population and it’s time we help each other here. For ourselves, our partners and kids. 

Because if we do not know what’s going on with us, and we think we are going mad, then it’s normal for anyone alse to look at us like we are murderous aliens.

The more we accept that this is happening and it’s normal, the more we can feel better about ourselves and go back to saner everyday life. 

It’s as easy as taking the phone to call a friend, get to the park to have a chat and a walk. 15-20 minuets. This is what I call “a quickie” with a friend. Sounds awesome, right? 

This very morning I have beat my morning blues and I dragged myself out of the door to get some exercise, fresh air and be with a group of women I knew would have made me feel better. In those 45 minutes I had the most benefits I had in weeks. That single decision to get myself out of the door made a miracle happen. I am so grateful that I had a chat after the exercise!  I had hugs from half crying women saying a more positive “me too”. 

Let’s get real, girls. Menopause is not a swear word, it’s part of nature and it’s part of life. 

So, never apologise for who you are.

Never feel bad for what you’re going through. It’s normal and you are not alone.

And never forget that together we are stronger. 

Talk to your girlfriends and make sure you do whatever you can to celebrate yourself right now, feel feminine and sexy and because that girl is still there and needs kindness and attention. She’s alive and kicking and full of life!

Yes, perimenopause sucks!! But you are beautiful and worth celebrating. Always. Remember that.

The post Perimenopause sucks! first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

Michael came back us to us with a heavy heart and informed us that his wife was not ready. For now, he said he would like to postpone the shoot. We too felt sad and thought about ways to help Veronica come around to the idea of feeling confident in her self-image!

TREATING YOURSELF AS YOU TREAT OTHERS

We invited Veronica and Michael to come and meet us together for a coffee. No strings, no obligations, just a good old chat. We learnt that since Veronica’s third child (at the time her baby was only 8 months old!), had caused her a problematic pregnancy, and therefore, she turned to food for comfort and slowly let go of her self-image (sounds familiar, right!). In her words, she has always had a curvy frame, but since her last child, she could not seem to get rid of the excess weight. While Veronica was telling us her story, we couldn’t help but notice Michael’s adorning eyes on his wife. The entire time. His incredible love and respect for her was something of a marvel to behold. We knew then, that all together, we could help Veronica get her confidence back.

The expression goes “treat others how you wish to be treated”, and as far as their marriage goes, this rings so true! Unfortunately, Veronica was unable to treat her own self-image in the way she treated her partner. With true love, and admiration. We wanted to help her change that, and eventually, we did.

STOP FOCUSING ON THE DETAILS

We helped her through every step of the process. From the mood board to the lingerie… The makeup to the guidance… We ensured Veronica, (and her unhappy self-image!) felt safe and confident in the space we had created for her. We also taught her to stop focusing on the details, and try to see the bigger picture. Her beauty in all its unapologetic glory! Her self-image was glowing, and her confidence was exploding! Our Veronica was finally ready.

Despite all of the work we did together before the photoshoot, ironically, this was the smoothest part for her (she later informed us grinning!). After a little Barry White to get everyone in the mood (just kidding!), we got into it. She made it clear she would like to be guided as much as possible. We told her we did not expect her to know how to pose, and that she could do no wrong. We were there to guide her every step of the way… Michael sat with us quietly observing his beautiful wife, and his admiration was endearing. We believe Veronica may have seen this, and then she really came into her own. Self-image and all!

VERONICA’S INCREDULITY AND MICHAEL’S SMILE

A week later, as we turned down the studio, popped open a fresh bottle of bubbly, and eagerly awaited our special client… We couldn’t help but smile. We just knew Veronica (and her nasty self-image!) had no idea what was coming…

As we opened the door to our beloved duo, the room filled with excitement and anticipation. “Is this really happening?” Veronica had asked. We passed her a tall glass of fizz and asked her to take a seat. She grabbed Michael’s hand, and we began the slideshow. Silence fell across the room, and for a moment, we felt nervous. Like REALLY nervous. We so badly wanted her to feel amazing, it was our turn to feel apprehensive!

As Veronica had studied every image as though it were a final to a degree! Yet, all of a sudden, she jumped up and exclaimed, “WHAT, THAT’S ME?!” We weren’t sure if it was from the shock of silence to squealing so quickly, or that tall glass of fizz… but we had all fell about laughing! And then we said, “YES. Yes, Veronica, that is YOU.” She stared at us in utter disbelief, and a sweet, little tear rolled down her cheek. She turned to Michael, and whispered, “Is that really me?” Michael looked into her eyes for a moment, and said, “Yes, my love. That is really you.” For so long, her self-image had been filled with hatred, and you could almost see it lift off her shoulders. We were so moved by this, and we all took a moment to take it in.

THE NEWFOUND SELF-IMAGE OF VERONICA

Veronica’s incredulity and Michael’s smile were simultaneously the greatest things that happened to us out of the entire Experience. Veronica was finally able to see her body for what it really was and learnt to truly appreciate it. The viewing of her photos had changed her mind entirely. This was the day Veronica’s negative self-image disappeared forever.

As we all know, our flaws often override the few things we admit that we like about ourselves. All of this is born from confronting ourselves with an image of perfection, yet we are unique. We must celebrate our uniqueness, and know when it’s time for a little empowerment. And a way to remind ourselves of who we are. So, we managed to prove Veronica wrong, would you let us prove you, too?

The post This Is How Your Negative Self-Image Can Change Overnight first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

We will tell you of Elizabeth and her “almost perfect body”. More importantly, we will tell you how this ruined her mental health.

So, are you ready to hear why a perfect body is an oxymoron? Why it can’t exist? Yet, we also want to tell you that having an imperfect body and accepting it is much better for us. We previously spoke about the perfect body, and you can read about it here.

Perfect body: what’s that?

The evolution of our world is not always “for the best”. The idea of the “Perfect Body” is one of the areas in which we have sidestepped. There is huge pressure on women’s appearance. In my mind, there is always the question: what is a perfect body? Are we taking into consideration the French “petite” frame? Do we go for the British “rose” or the person of colour where the “lower curves” define beauty? Defining what a perfect body is, is not difficult, it is impossible. You can’t generalise a concept so abstract and personal.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it? However, we all try to adapt to one trend or another.

The issue with trends is that they tend to change over time. The ’80s athletic model replaced the ’60s curvaceous beauty. It was then the ’90s emaciated girl to trend. When do you win? Well, the answer is “never”. You will never have the perfect body because there is no such thing!

Latins used to say “Mens sana in corpore sano“*, which was much healthier (pun intended). (*A healthy mind in a healthy body). If you are healthy, and you accept that a healthy body comes in different sizes and shapes, you will live better. You will also enjoy a better relationship with food.

Social media pressure

Ten years ago, when we started photographing boudoir, we knew society had an issue. To put the same concept in better words, society created problems for women. How can you open a magazine, see a 60 years old woman with no sign of age and feel good about yourself? It is like me baking my cake and comparing it with the ones on the pages of “Bakers’ of the Year!”. If ten years ago someone had told me things would have gotten worse, I would not have believed them. You can’t beat Vogue for showing a perfect body on every page, can you?

Alas, here comes social media. The growth of Instagram comes with the growth of “perfect people”. Always happy, in dreamlike locations, everyone with a perfect body. How the hell is that possible? And how is this affecting us?
We know Vogue is about models and that was already bad. What about Instagram? The real issue is we think it is people like us. Yet, assuming that many of our “friends” on Social Media have a more perfect body than ours is worst.

The story of Elizabeth

Here comes the story of Elizabeth, a beautiful client we photographed some time ago. When she stepped into our studio, our makeup artist expressed her appreciation by saying “I want that body!”. While a “perfect body” doesn’t exist, Elizabeth had one that closely connected with that idea. When she was ready with her makeup on, she took us aside. In a very sombre tone, she asked us to make sure her photos did not show her “nasty mole”.

Now, we are quite detail-oriented people, but the mole was invisible. She hated to show that, under her makeup, a slightly darker spot was still escaping her beauty. Elizabeth hated it with all herself. She confessed she went to such lengths to see a surgeon to remove it. The fact that one of the top surgeons in London refused to take her case made her reconsider a bit. He had told her he wouldn’t have risked a scar on her face to remove what was a small, benign mole.

Trust me, even without the makeup on, the mole was barely visible. Still, Elizabeth’s focus was solely on it. Makeup, light and a tad of skin cleaning made of Elizabeth a delighted woman. So, for us, this was a valuable lesson.

The white sheet of paper and the black dot

Our body is like a sheet of paper. Mine, for example, is full of marks, with some curves where I would have loved some straight lines. I look at it, and I know it could look better, but at the end of the day, it is my body. The real trouble starts when the sheet of paper is almost completely white. The comparison is simple: a perfect body equals a white sheet of paper. The whiter your sheet is, the more you will focus on the black dots.

The research of the perfect body is a hunt for unhappiness. No matter how close you come to the “perfect body”, you will never truly reach it. Trends and ideals change. Trying to be something so subjective is a neverending task. How can you be happy knowing you will never achieve your goals? Of course, you can tell me that it is about the journey, not the result. Therefore, the journey to a perfect body is a journey which will always shame you. It is because you will always differ from floating ideals. This does not look like a healthy way of living to me.

Self Appreciation

Remember the Romans. They did not say “a healthy mind in a perfect body”. They always mentioned a healthy body. This is what you should focus your attention on. Your journey should not be towards something ephemeral as physical perfection. Let it be about a healthy lifestyle, reaching targets and looking at yourself with kind eyes.

So, no matter how beautiful Elizabeth is, her mole will always concern her. But for the thousands of women who have accepted their bodies, the future is brighter. In accepting their bodies, they have gained something much more valuable: confidence. Boudoir can only do so much. It cannot show you a body you don’t have. Being photographed without veils means being ready to love yourself. It does not mean trying to be a white sheet of paper.

Remember that the pages of the best books are not white: inks and words stain the paper. That’s what makes them unique.

The post Perfect Body: you’ll be fooled by this social oxymoron first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

Find Your Wedding Style

First things first, know your style. This can get connected with your everyday lifestyle, as well as the clothes you like to wear. When considering your wedding decor options, remember that this is YOUR day. When you walk down the aisle, you want to feel surrounded by things that you love… including your wonderful partner (hehe)! Your ceremony should represent all things you, from your beautiful dress to all the little personal accents you’ve chosen to add…

Will the ceremony be inside or outdoors? Will you have a traditional priest marrying you? Or are you going for something a little less conventional? When you wake up and put on your dress, does it show you off in the best way possible? These are all necessary considerations when planning your wedding decor. And will make a huge difference to how you feel on your special day!

If you are still searching for your dream dress, have a read of The Most Spectacular Wedding Dresses For Your Body Shape

Choose Your Lighting

This may sound weird, especially if you’ve chosen an indoor venue… they’ll have lights right? Right! But… using certain lighting to personalise your wedding decor can create that “dreamy” wedding feel. From fairy lights to lanterns, and candles to fire pits… the possibilities are endless. Whatever you choose, remember to consider the venue itself… and what works with it’s already stunning features.

Aside from the whimsical vibe you’ll have created, your lighting will have more than one purpose. You can also incorporate it into an activity! Interactive wedding decor is a great way for people to meet each other. And perhaps a photo booth filled with props could be one of them! Speak with your wedding photographer and see what they can do to mix it up. Check out: 5 Questions To Ask When Booking Your Wedding Photographer. Even if you decide on something different, creative lighting will be a vision in your photos. Plus your photographer will truly thank you!

All Things Delicate (and thoughtful)

As someone who has a true love for details, this part is my absolute favourite! The accents to your wedding decor are the best way to give your wedding that personal edge! Let’s start with some organisation and work our way out…

When your guests arrive, will they know where they need to go? It may sound silly, but if your venue is large, or in the middle of a forest, there’s a chance people will get lost. The last thing you want for your wedding is some lost guests! Take the DIY route and make decorative signs with informal directions to get placed throughout the venue. Or opt for something a little more decadent and get them made by one of the many bespoke wedding vendors out there. They will also be able to help you out with your name cards/menus/anything else that needs to be beautifully printed (though I’ll touch more on this shortly…)

As we’ve already got lighting covered… consider whether you prefer the flowy or elegant wedding decor to match. Bunting is a great way of tying a place together, but remember to choose what will work best with your theme.

Nowadays, there are millions of alternatives to bunting including paper lanterns, fabric garlands or natural floral pieces… These are just a few of the options you can consider for your wedding decor.

Naturally saving the best for last… we have FLOWERS! From your bouquet to your centrepieces… flowers are a running theme in almost every wedding! My advice: stick to your tones. If you have a specific colour tone in mind, choose flowers that accentuate this.

Consider whether it’s necessary to have a huge array of flowers scattered around your wedding when taking a simpler route could be the way to go. Stick to what you know, and work from that. You will feel happiest surrounded by flowers you love (and your wallet will thank you!).

The Centerpiece (and the tables!)

As we’ve looked at the delicates, the flowers and the lighting… you are now ready to create your ideal centrepiece. Maybe you’ve already decided on a floral centrepiece? Or want to focus more on the table decorations? Either way, consider a few of these for your table wedding decor:

• Candles: to create a homey, personal vibe, and always a little romance.
• Runners: a perfect way to tie in your colour theme, alongside your bunting and hanging decorations.
• Table Numbers (and the plan!): for obvious reasons! The guests can read the table plan and figure out where they need to be sitting.
• Name Cards: again, so needed! Also, a way for you to make everyone feel included, and considered. An easy step to personalising your wedding decor!
• Trivia/Games: to break the ice and have some fun, of course!
• A sweet surprise: because everyone loves a bit of chocolate!

Whichever you focus on, make sure they work with your theme and you will be pleasantly surprised! Your tables create an aesthetic to your wedding – make sure they say “this is OUR wedding“.

For more tips and tricks on planning your wedding, have a read of Time To Plan Your Wedding? Here’s what you need to know

The Food And The Liquor

Wedding decor is typically viewed as the decorations, while many of us forget about the food and the booze… in this context, of course! There’s no reason to suggest your food (especially, the nibbles!) can’t tie in with your wedding decor. From the plates to the actual food that’s served on them… this little attention to detail will make your wedding truly memorable! Remember, as humans, we eat with our eyes, and love with our tummies. This is a fail-proof way to personalise your wedding decor for your guests.

Secondly, consider cocktails. This can either be an interactive activity where people can go to the bar, follow a menu and take a “crash-course” in cocktail making (whilst drinking them… duh!), or they can sit and watch some really awesome bartenders do it! Either way, cocktails have a way of exciting people and creating something unique like “Beth&Terry’s Wedding Water”… is another great way of creating a memorable wedding day.

Party Favours

This post may have a way of making you feel a large amount of your wedding decor goes into making other people happy. Ultimately, this is not the case. Your guests’ memories will help you relive your uniquely special day… and that is something to you’ll enjoy for years to come!

Regarding party favours, think about what you would like your guests to take away from your wedding… both physically, and metaphorically. Something easy and financially forgiving would be something DIY. Goodie bags filled with yummies or a personalised keyring/card/something trinkety… are always received well. For something more engaging, consider putting disposable OR polaroid cameras on a stand amongst your wedding decor… you can either send out the photos a week later as a thank you or get everyone to take a polaroid home with them.

Additionally, you could opt for a favourite artist, or DJ, and create an amazing dancefloor! Though not the most memorable option (after a few too many!), music is the ultimate way to celebrate.

Last but not least… who needs the biggest gift of all? Your newly-wedded partner! This is something that must be truly unique and special, and we have something you might like… (eBook: Choosing The Best Wedding Gift For Your Newly Wedded Partner)

Whatever you decide for your wedding decor, just remember three things:

• Keep it personal.
• Choose to be unique.
• Make it memorable!

And you WILL have the best day of your life.

The post How To Personalise Your Wedding Decor, And Why It’s So Important To first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

From finding the right photographer to choosing the style that says “this is MY wedding”… I’ve put together a simple guide to get you through your wedding. With a MASSIVE SMILE on your face. Having amazing photos of your wedding day are crucial – these are the memories that will last. And I’m here to show you how to make that happen! Here’s exactly how to feel more confident on your special day…

Find The Right Photographer

It goes without saying, but it would surprise you to know how many people are willing to overlook this. It is SO important to find a photographer whose work you love. And who both you and your groom can connect with. AND feel more confident in their presence. After all, they are there to take photographs of you and they want to make you look your best! And they are going to be around for the whole of your wedding day – you are going to need to like each other!

What are you looking for? Have you considered what sort of “feel” you want your photographs to have? Do you prefer the “fly-on-the-wall” approach, or someone more direct? Take time to work through the potentials you have selected, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. The closer you feel to your photographer, the better the images will be. A lot of photographers offer an engagement shoot which is great for pre-wedding prep. This will show you how your photographer works with you, and how to feel more confident on your big day! Thus creating a connection between you, plus a little bonus of trying out a few poses before your wedding!

Choosing your photographer can be challenging, but once you do, it’s guaranteed to take a huge worry off your shoulders. Remember they are just there to make you feel at complete ease on your special day (hence the rapport you’ll already have)… and capture all the beautiful memories!

For more help finding the right photographer, take a look at 5 Questions To Ask Before Booking Your Wedding Photographer

Learn Some Basic Poses (and how to feel more confident doing them!)

Once you’ve booked your dream photographer, and enjoyed a pre-wedding photoshoot… I have no doubt you’ll have learned a thing or two about posing! Now, while I use the term “posing”, I am not trying to influence you envisioning squinty eyes and duck pouts! Natural and relaxed poses are what we’re aiming to achieve. Remember these three things, and you WILL look and feel more confident in your wedding photos:

• Work those angles
• Forget about the camera
• Have a laugh!

When we laugh, we release endorphins that make us feel happy, and this will show in your photographs! A natural smile speaks wonders and helps us feel more confident.

Another thing – if you’re like me and enjoy a good visual aid, then Pinterest is your new best friend! Create a mood board of poses and photographs you like, and even share them with your photographer (or take a look at one I put together here!). Trust me, you will both appreciate it! Going into your full day’s coverage with an idea of what captures the best version of you is a valuable thing.

Choose The Best Look For You

Feeling overwhelmed? With the endless amount of stunning wedding dresses, quirky makeup looks, and racy lingerie to consider… it’s no wonder! First things first, choose YOU. Choose what makes you feel more confident (and comfortable!) because this will be your most treasured memory for life – AND you need to have fun!

Often, less is more, and I agree with this. I value any photograph that allows the subject’s uniqueness to shine through. After all, this day is all about you, and someone who loves you for YOU. Take some time for yourself and focus on what you want. Choose that dream dress, and spoil yourself with a treatment or two! A little bit of pampering can go a long way to helping you feel (and look) your best. Show them the best possible version, and it will reflect in the photos!

As I’m all about empowering women, I chose to explore what the perfect wedding dress is for our body types. I can guarantee this will help you feel more confident (and incredible!) because it helped me, too! Now I truly understand what flatters my shape, I’ve had no problems finding my dream dress!

Have a little read of The Most Spectacular Types Of Wedding Dresses For Your Body Shape

 Know Your Personal Aesthetic And Style

Phew! You’ve finally found the wedding look that defines the best you, but… hold on? There’s still a bunch of those little extras to consider! What colours do you want? Are you going to have a theme? What decor works with the venue you’ve chosen? Don’t even get me started on the flowers! Knowing your personal style is so important. And believe it or not, if you walk into a space that feels like home, you WILL feel more confident.

Struggling for ideas? Start at home, and work outwards. There is nothing wrong with loving the idea of that 1950s vibe. BUT if it lacks what you actually value, then your wedding will not feel personal to you. A little attention to detail, a few creature comforts, and a familiar aesthetic can go a long way. You can sit back and revel in the beauty you’ve created for your special day – plus, the photos will be stunning.

Want to feel more confident in choosing your wedding style? Have a look at How To Personalise Your Wedding Decor, And Why It’s SO Important To

Use Your Groom To Create A Safe Space

Have you ever had a meeting, interview or even a job that makes you so nervous you can hardly breathe? Your focus is off and the more you worry about not nailing it, the more you panic? 9 times out of 10, what do we need to calm us down? Erm…wine?!

No, come on! Someone we LOVE. How many times have you come home ranting about that awful day you had, and after a simple cuddle, you cool off? They have a way of empowering us while helping us feel more confident. Well, remember this feeling on your wedding day.

Yes, you will feel overwhelmed. A LOT. Your special day will fly away in a heartbeat. After the ceremony, use your wedding photographer as an excuse to be alone with your groom. Yes, you’re allowed to use 15 minutes to enjoy the feeling of being newly married. Take a moment to immerse yourselves in your wedding, and let the photographer get to work. Forget the world around you and bask in your new found happiness.

Then, remember why you are there. No matter the emotions you’ll be feeling, your groom is there with you. And for you. Look into their eyes, take a deep breath, and carry on. Let them bring out the best parts of you, allow yourself to feel more confident, and take some kick-ass photos! This human has unconditional love for you, and that is the most precious thing in the world.

For a full guide to wedding day confidence, download our FREE eBook: An Important Guide To Looking Natural In Photos (Especially on your Wedding Day!)

If you have other worries about feeling more confident on your wedding day, let’s talk about it! Write a comment below, and let’s get the conversation going to bring out more confident brides in 2018!

The post How To Feel More Confident In Your Wedding Photos… first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

1. Do you connect with their style?

By far one of the most important questions to ask! So, you know that feeling when you’re scrolling through your newsfeed and something makes you stop and look? There’s just something about it that catches your eye. THAT is your connection to a photograph. The style that you get drawn to. Take some time to look through different photographer’s websites and blogs until you figure out the style you are looking for.

Some will focus on using a reportage “documentary” style, with the “fly-on-the-wall approach”. This will usually contain an array of candid wedding imagery. Others will create what’s known as fine art photography, which has a very dreamy and ethereal feel to it… as opposed to a dark and mysterious style which appears to be more fashion and editorial focused. These are all useful questions to ask yourself when understanding what style you are drawn to.

Also to this, consider when you prefer black and white, or colour photographs. Though most photographers will combine both, there are a few that’s style will host only one OR the other. Be sure to check this. Once you’ve got a better understanding of the style you connect with, you’ll find the initial searching so much easier. And be ready with the right questions to ask.

Need some more guidance on looking great in photographs BEFORE the wedding? Check out How To Feel More Confident In Your Wedding Photos

2. Are they available?

Words cannot stress enough how important this is! For obvious reasons… If you are lucky enough to find your dream photographer pretty early on, then do not delay! Get your dates over to them asap, (with all your questions to ask at the ready!), and book them! If you love their work, there’s a high chance many others do too, and they will get booked up very quickly! Some photographers can get booked up to two years before the wedding date… because they are that desirable. Don’t lose out on all your hard work and research, only to get told last minute they are no longer available!

Once you have found your ideal wedding photographer, here are a few extra questions to ask:

• What dates for this month are you available? (highlighting your ideal date first – granted you haven’t already booked your venue)
• What is your typical wedding turnaround time? (how long it will take them to process and work through all your images – you can expect up to 6-8 weeks)
• How many hours coverage do we get? (and do you provide an assistant/second shooter? Tip: this helps massively with a large wedding party for maximum coverage!) – see point 5 for more info

3. How much do they cost, and what’s included?

Now it’s time for the nitty-gritty. Discovering the price of wedding photography can often shock people… though this mindset would do well to change. My advice is to allocate a photography budget for your wedding initially. This way you’ll be able to see where you can and cannot budge the investment in your wedding. If you consider that every single thing you invest in (other than your fiance, and the ring), is a one-time thing. After all, the only remaining memory of your wedding are the photographs! It makes sense to invest in getting beautiful ones right? This is one major question to ask YOURSELF and make peace with.

Once you have a clear idea of what you can spend, ask your proposed photographer what packages they offer… and what they include. Some useful questions to ask would be what extras there are, so if you need to, you can budget for those after the wedding…

Do they include a printed wedding album in the price, or is this considered an extra? Is post-production part of their package? And, a personal favourite… Do you offer a pre-wedding/engagement shoot before the wedding? This is a fantastic way to build a connection, and grow confident with your photographer before your special day. If they offer it, snap it up!

Need more convincing? Got a friend who says they can recreate that style? Have a read of Wedding Day Approaching? Why Your Friend Shouldn’t Photograph Your Big Day

4. What is their professional experience, and do they have the support to prove it?

Living in 2018, we’re both blessed and penalized for having such an online presence. But, nothing says it clearer than looking up a business and having the instantaneous access to every review they’ve ever received. While it may be detrimental to certain businesses… it’s a fool-proof way of gaging other client’s experiences with your photographer. Get online, and figure out those questions to ask google!

It is also important to consider where they have worked before, or if they know your wedding venue. Have they worked with said videographer before? And the best question to ask is of course, how long have you been doing this? Though, while experience is important… there are many up and coming photographers who can be equally, if not more talented than others. At the end of the day, it is your prerogative and your gut will tell you who’s the right fit for you and your special day. Especially if you know the right questions to ask, right?!

Last but most certainly not least…

5. How many hours coverage do we get, and do you provide a second shooter?

This question can often go overlooked, which in the grand scheme of things, seems crazy! You need to know how long your photographer(s) will be there for in order to plan your day properly! Try out these questions to ask them: Will you be there from makeup prep right through to the first dance? Or is there only a specific part of the day I should have photographed? Again, it is totally your call, but your photographer NEEDS to know your plans – see Time To Plan Your Wedding? Here’s What You Need To Know for a little more help here…

In addition to this, you need to find out if they offer a second shooter (someone who photographs with the main photographer in order to capture another perspective and potentially missed moments otherwise!). This is a bonus, and in my opinion, a necessity. With so much happening on a wedding day, it is near impossible to expect one human to capture EVERYTHING. Knowing there is a second pair of hands on deck will make all the difference to your final photos. If you have any doubts about the second shooter’s capabilities… fire up those questions to ask, and make sure you see their portfolio AND at least two full wedding coverages. This will allow you to see how they photograph in relation to your chosen photographer. And if they’re experienced enough to handle a full days coverage!

Typically, most wedding photographers will offer full coverage. But, you can also discuss with them how many hours you think are necessary. My advice: don’t cut it short. Weddings have a tendency to fly by, and before you know it the dinner has delayed everything by an hour and a half… and your trusty photographer(s) are about to leave! This is the last thing you want to have on the most important day of your life!

Invest well, play it safe and you can guarantee (almost) to have the most amazing wedding photos ever!

If you want a little more guidance on the ins and outs of looking natural on your wedding day, download this FREE ebook: An Important Guide To Looking Natural In Photos (Especially On Your Wedding Day!) to help you through any more questions to ask, and any pre-wedding nerves!

The post 5 Questions To Ask When Booking Your Wedding Photographer first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

1. Photographing a wedding is HARD

While the prospect of a free wedding photographer sounds appealing, the reality is… if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. There are so many factors that could go wrong. Simply because it is something your friend does not practice as their profession. What would happen if they got sick? Who would replace them? Do they have the correct insurance? It’s very rare to find any amateur with a backup plan to cover themselves when things go wrong. This is NOT a stress you need on your wedding day.

Additionally, an amateur is someone who uses the craft as a hobby. This means they’ll have little to NO experience in shooting a wedding day as a professional. And this will show in the photos! A wedding is one of the hardest to photograph as there are CONSTANT changes. Plus, nothing says “I didn’t realise that was so important!” like missing the first kiss of the bride and groom. The cons continue to outweigh the pros because it is a simple fact. An amateur should not take on the vast responsibility of a wedding day.

No bride should be taking risks on their wedding day: confidence is key. And I cannot stress this enough. For a little more in-depth help, take a look at How To Feel More Confident In Your Wedding Photos

2. An awesome camera does not equal awesome photos

Equipment is not everything. Yes, I repeat, having a good camera does NOT make you a good photographer. Your friend may have the latest “5D800NX10…” but consider this – do they know how to use it to the best of its (and their own) abilities? Have they had training or experience that has taught them how this specific camera can help them? Do they know what lenses to use on the wedding day that will work best with the camera body? If the answer is no to any of these, then their camera is irrelevant. Its qualities are at a waste and will only end up confusing your friend. The last thing you want on your wedding day is your friend panicking about how to use their camera!

On a lighter note… (though it may seem arbitrary), I am sure you’ll have heard a photographer go on (and on) about the light, “ooooh, the light!” – trust me, it is SUPER important.

A professional knows how to use light to their advantage, and capture images in the best way to suit it. Wedding day schedules that have chosen the ceremony to finish at midday, usually mean horrendously bright light… which is rather unflattering. It is not ideal for anyone to shoot in these conditions, yet, professionals will always have a plan. This will guarantee you beautiful photos!

3. Professional and Protected

Do you know how many people lose digital files? And sadly, how many of them are their wedding day photos? An insane amount. Opting for a professional means the photographs of your wedding day will be secure and protected. For years to come. This may not seem like a massive consideration right now (as it’s not something we’d expect to happen). Yet, in the event of this occurring, it is far better to be safe than sorry.

Entrusting your photographer with creating, and protecting your wedding photos are the main reasons it’s considered… an INVESTMENT. This allows us to run a successful business, which includes the protection of your images. It can take one wrong click of a button and BAM! Gone are your photos! Why risk that happening with your friend? You would both feel terrible, and honestly, it’s not worth the stress.

Need help finding the right photographer? Check out 5 Questions To Ask When Booking Your Wedding Photographer

4. Taking photos is only one part of being a professional photographer

Have you ever wondered why photography (not to mention weddings!) can be so expensive? Because taking photos is just ONE of the many jobs we do. We spend years of time investing in and refining our craft before braving it into the big wide world…

It would be so great if all we had to do was pick up our camera, shoot a couple of weddings a month and watch the money pile up… in reality, this is not the case! There’s a lot of work that goes into making a professional photographer successful… and we work hard to maintain these standards. At the end of the day, we just want to make people happy! And this, amongst many other things, is a craft that always needs improving.

5. This is your only shot

You only have one shot at your wedding day… (excuse the pun hehe!), which means everything must go the way you’ve anticipated. From all of the pre-wedding plans: the venue, the decor, the flowers, the dress… the list goes on… what’s left are the three most important things: your husband, the ring, and of course, your photos.

Your photographs will be the only memories that you will have of your wedding day. Not to mention the future generations of your family. Make sure they’re captured right.

Another thing to consider would be a unique gift for your newly wedded partner, right? As you can see from our website, we are the leading experts in Boudoir Photography in London. Have you ever thought about getting your photograph taken and seeing yourself in a brand new light? Have a look through our Boudoir Brides for a little more on what we do…

And if you are still looking to beat those wedding day nerves, download this FREE ebook providing you with An Important Guide To Looking Natural In Photos (Especially On Your Wedding Day!)… to help you through every step to wedding day confidence!

The post Wedding Day Approaching? Why Your Friend Shouldn’t Photograph It first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

It’s the combination of practicality and personality that we need to feel our best on our wedding day! Have a scroll through the best types of wedding dresses, and the other vitals to consider before investing in your dream dress…

Mermaid

Best for: Hourglass brides who are dying to show off their curves!

Let’s get things started with none other than the beautiful mermaid. You’ll notice with most conventional types of wedding dress styles, they look aesthetically very close to their name (helpful that, hey!). This a very flattering style as its long length and curve-hugging features create a truly gorgeous silhouette.

Avoid: If you’re not looking for the types of wedding dresses that can feel constricting. You won’t have a huge amount of movement in the mermaid.

Column

Best for: Petite brides who want to highlight their svelte figure.

Again, the column does what she says on the tin. These particular types of wedding dresses focus on brides with a slim figure, and follows their natural body shape. The column is an elegant choice of wedding dress, with a formal and classy touch.

Avoid: If you’re curvy around your bottom. These types of wedding dresses can make your figure appear imbalanced.

Ballgown

Best for: Athletic brides who want to create a more feminine silhouette.

The ballgown is THE classic wedding dress. The one we all doodled on paper in our childhood and dreamt of wearing one day. Nowadays, there are so many unique types of wedding dresses… the ballgown can get overlooked. Distinguished by her cinching waist, and full skirt, the ballgown is a true princess’ dream.

Avoid: If height is not in your favour, as this wedding dress could drown you in all her glory!

A-Line

Best for: ALL brides (without generalising too much hehe!)

Although considered one of the safest types of wedding dress, the A-Line is a trusty number for a reason. As her name indicates, she starts narrow and flows down to the bottom… creating a truly favorable “A-like” contour for any body shape! Additionally, these types of wedding dresses are continuously modernized…. so now, there are many neckline options too!

Avoid: If your aim is to bowl your partner over with pure sexiness. While this dress will flatter almost any body shape… it will not achieve the jaw-dropper effect you may well be searching for!

Still looking for a little confidence boost pre-wedding? Have a read of How To Feel More Confident In Your Wedding Photos

The Designs and The Materials

With the many styles created for these different types of wedding dresses, it can be a minefield. Especially when deciding on the actual design and material for your body shape. A few things to consider are:

• Aesthetically, what pleases you? Do you like a minimalist style, or prefer something visually bold?
• In day-to-day life, what is your style?
• Have you considered what materials you would like your dress to have?

All these are valuable questions to consider when searching for your wedding dress! Are you an undercover eccentric who is dying to stand out? Then go for chiffon as a material that can create awesome designs. Rather a bohemian queen who wants to have all things flowy? Consider lace – it is a classic connection to the boho lifestyle. Or are you a very sophisticated lady, who wants to feel effortlessly beautiful? Then silk’s your winner!

Taking the time to decide what types of wedding dresses will make you feel like a million bucks. My advice? Log into our trusty friend Pinterest, and make a mood board. Or have a peek at one of ours here.

Pin all types of wedding dresses to a board, head down to your local bridal shops and show the merchant. They will be able to help you find EXACTLY what you’re looking for, for you AND your body shape.

Want your wedding theme to work well with your dress? This may interest you: How To Personalise Your Wedding Decor, And Why It’s So Important To

The Accessories

Lastly… (as a little afterthought), accessories are something to consider for your body shape. When you finally have your ideal wedding dress, you will need to style it. Is it bold enough to stand on its own, without jewellery? To flower or not to flower? (I can hear all the boho queens squealing FLOWERS!!! from here)… And, do you need those 6-inch stilettos on your wedding day?

Depending on the varied types of wedding dresses out there, you will need to consider all these things to match. A post dedicated to pre-wedding planning may help here: Time To Plan Your Wedding? Here’s What You Need To Know!

One accessory that cannot get disregarded is, of course, lingerie! If you want to look and feel your absolute best, then consider it as important as the dress itself! Once you’ve identified your body shape, and which type of wedding dress is going to be THE ONE… then it’s time for the real fun to start! Remember, bridal lingerie is far more than an old garter… and this is your opportunity to keep a surprise under wraps for your newly-wedded partner!

Looking for more wedding lingerie ideas? Download of our FREE eBook on…The Most Breathtaking Wedding Night Lingerie To Consider For The Best Night Of Your Life

If you enjoyed this post, and have some more tips on finding the best types of wedding dresses designed for your body shape… leave a comment below!

The post The Most Spectacular Types of Wedding Dresses For Your Body Shape first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

The Decor

When it comes to pre-wedding planning, the decor is one of the few things that can go overlooked. After all, your wedding is your voice. Your style. Your love story! Let it speak out loud by personalising your decor. One of the best ways to plan your wedding is through visualising what you want – by creating a mood board on Pinterest. Or check out one of ours! And sifting through all the bountiful wedding decor inspirations. This will allow you to learn the style you like, and choose all your accessories effortlessly. It will really help you to plan your wedding.

Choosing whether to have a wedding inside or outdoors, can have a large impact on the overall aesthetic. Going for a forest wedding, and want to invest in millions of flowers? Is it really necessary? Maybe you’re choosing a more traditional theme in a classic venue? Then perhaps that extra load of bunting is too much… These are all things to consider when you want to plan your wedding, but creating a mood board will ease many of these concerns.

Want to know more about how to decorate your wedding? Have a read of How To Personalise Your Wedding Decor, And Why It’s So Important To

The Makeup (and the Confidence)

It may seem funny that makeup and confidence are under the same heading, especially as we are living in 2018… but the world of body positivity is finally open! (YES!!!) Yet, we cannot stress enough how valuable it is for you to have the correct makeup and hair artist for your wedding. This goes far beyond having a beautiful face of makeup. MUA’s train to help you look AND feel amazing while having a positive impact on your confidence.

Your makeup artist will also be able to help you decide what look to go for, plus what will suit your features. They want to HIGHLIGHT the natural you, not hide it! One MUA we have had the pleasure of working with over the years is Sylwia Kunysz. She is a specialised wedding makeup artist and a beauty therapist. She says her client goals are to “enhance their natural beauty, so they can feel and look their best.” You can see her portfolio here: http://bridal.sylwiamakeup.co.uk/

Feeling confident for your wedding is a huge part of what should make your day feel so good. To successfully plan your wedding and feel at ease, be sure to book a fantastic MUA who will look after you. Especially when the nerves are at their highest.

For more on wedding day confidence, have a look at How To Feel More Confident In Your Wedding Photos

The Photographer

Now, why is choosing the right photographer so hard these days? Well, there is a continuous flood in the market of wedding photographers. It is increasingly difficult to find the unique one that is right for you. There are also now so many things to consider that have to coincide with how you plan your wedding. From their style and experience – to their initial cost, PLUS any extras they offer… let alone their availability! It’s a minefield out there. No wonder they can get booked up years in advance.

When it comes to weddings, booking your photographer is up there with, if not, the largest priority. After all, these are the only true records you will have as memories of your wedding day. It seems pointless to invest all this time and energy in order to successfully plan your wedding, for no recollection of it, right? Exactly. Make sure to set aside a decent budget for your wedding photography and take time to work on all the details.

For more guidance on finding your ideal photographer, check out… 5 Questions To Ask When Booking Your Wedding Photographer”

AND, Wedding Day Approaching: Why Your Friend Shouldn’t Photograph Your Big Day – trust us, they really shouldn’t!

The Dress

Possibly the most treasured item of any wedding day ever… the dress is personal to you. And, when you need to plan your wedding, it’s ALL you can think about. What dress do I want? What will suit my body shape? Where do I start? Too. Many. Questions. Start with the basics.

Think back to your childhood. Was there ever a specific dress style you used to doodle on your notepads at school? Did you ever see one through a shop window and thought, “that’s the one”? Or even your idol in a dress to die for? All these are signs of your subconscious storing visual memories of what you love. And one day, dream for on your wedding day. Note a few of these down, and head right back online to our trusty friend: Pinterest! Get another mood board together and start to understand what makes you excited.

At the end of the day, you need to feel good. And what is going to make you feel good? The dream dress for your body. Want some more inspiration? Have a look at The Most Spectacular Types of Wedding Dresses For Your Body Shape

The Gifts

Okay, so your wedding style, confidence and the memories of your precious day are all sorted. What’s left? The gifts! Nope, it may not be an immediate priority when you have to plan your wedding. And there are definitely ways around spending a huge chunk of your budget on thanking guests. Yet all things aside, it is a must. People travel from all over the world to celebrate your love for your fiance… and they deserve a little gratitude. Whatever it is, make it thoughtful. Everyone loves a personal touch! If you haven’t already, have another read of How To Personalise Your Wedding Decor, And Why It’s So Important To for more ideas on gifts for your guests!

Lastly, and most important of all: what do you gift your newly-wedded partner?

Our new eBook on How To Choose The Best Wedding Present For Your Newly Wedded Partner may be able to help you with some fresh ideas!

We hope this post helped you through some of the priorities to know when it’s the time to plan your wedding day. If you have any more questions, or think of any other thoughtful pointers, comment below and let’s have a chat!

The post Time To Plan Your Wedding? Here’s What You Need To Know first appeared on Faby and Carlo.

Today we will talk about those small attitudes we sometimes give for granted. We will underline why they are important and how you can make them count even more. So, it is time to look at ourself and tell us: well done to foster these signs of good self esteem in my life! You will find many other signs of good self esteem around. We wanted to pick these which are the ones that leave the mark.

1. You do enjoy others without looking for comparison

This is my personal number one, hence the top spot in this post. Many people love to compare themselves to other, yet you like to see your life as unique. The fact that you don’t need external validation comes almost as a natural trait. Some people may find your “sailing alone” as a sign of a self-centred person, yet you know it is far from the truth. You like others for what they are, without having to run agains them.

Keep up your great way of life. If you avoid comparison, you support your being unique. If you want to make a step forward, boosting your self esteem even further, why not helping others? Many times people who compare themselves, tend to do it as a way of releasing stress. You know that by looking at your own good sides, the comparison vanishes. If a friend start comparing herself to someone else, underline few things about her you love? You won’t confirm nor deny her stand on other people, but you will brighten her day.

2. You welcome mistakes as learning technique

It is funny how people around you tends to beat themselves down every time they fail. You, on the other side, tend to look at your mistakes with a curious look. It feels incredible you did not do it right the first time. Yet looking back at your decisions you can see what drove you down the right path. You reassess yourself and start again, no harm done. There is no judgement on yourself for your mistakes, you seem to bounce back.

Of all the signs of a good self esteem, this is the one which can give you better momentum in gaining confidence. Why don’t you apply your natural non judgemental approach to your feelings and words? Try to look at what surrounds your life as if it was coming from an external eye! It will reduce the emotional attachment to moments, giving more clarity.

3. You are kind to yourself

We all have meltdowns. Yet, what make you stand out from the crowd is that when it happens to you, you choose your words with care. You tend to be kinder in the words you use to describe yourself. This approach is very healthy and it helps bouncing back.

Moving one more step forward is helping others being kinder with themselves. Helping others to be kinder to themselves will only make you stronger. Make sure you don’t underline the fact that they are using harsh words with themselves. Smile and help them reshaping the way they speak with themselves. A simple “I am sure I will be more careful next time” is a hundred times better than “I am stupid, as I always hit my foot on the bed”.

4. You speak in positive terms about other people, or not at all

What Bob says about Alice says much more about Bob than about Alice. Gossips are treacherous, and you avoid them. Well done! If you talk about someone you see their good side. And when you can’t find a good side, you don’t speak about that person at all. Why should you linger on negative thoughts?

We are always conditioned, in a way or another, by the environment we live in. The way of moving forward, if this trait is one of the signs of good self esteem you have, is to project it outside. The healthier the environment you live in, the healthier you are. So, when someone in your social circle starts gossiping, deviate the discussion. Gossip is a spiral which hugs us in its dark embrace. While some may feel enriched by this, gossiping is always a lose-lose situation. The more your social circle is empty of gossip, the more time you will have for positive talks.

5. You accept the fact you are not perfect

I look in the mirror and I don’t see the man I was twenty years ago. Of course I am a more defined person and I appreciate how I live. It is my body which has taken some beating. I know I am not perfect, yet I accept it. As well as I do, you know nobody’s perfect, neither are you. When you come to terms with the reality and you accept it, your world has much more free time for what is great!

You are not perfect, but can you become better than today? That’s what you can work on if you’d like to shine even more. My perfect example is, once more, my body. I know it’s not perfect, but there are things I can do to make it better. I should start exercising more. Eating a bit less would do as well. With these two things alone, I would bridge a lot of what I don’t particularly appreciate. Remember, this is not about getting perfect, it is about working hard to make better what you can

What are signs of good self esteem I left out?

So, did you see in one, two or all these signs of good self esteem? Well done! And if you haven’t, you now know what you can work on if you want to live a better life. Now that you have read my five points you can have your say about yours!

The post The 5 signs of good self esteem first appeared on Faby and Carlo.