WARNING: These images are pretty gross.

The UK keeps giving me reasons to think it’s tipping the scales of awesomeness all the time.

First there was “Black Adder” and The Clash, then there was “Trainspotting,” those wicked candies called wine gums, and now, they’ve got Cockney ATMs.

That’s right, Cockney. Cockney Rhyme to be exact. It’d be like having an Ebonics ATM in the States (do people still speak that?).

For three months starting today, an independent ATM machine company by the name of Bank Machine, a division of Cardtronics, will allow their ATMs in London’s East End (the birthplace of Cockney) to communicate in Cockney Rhyme.

Where an ATM user would normally select the preferred language, like English and Spanish, Cockney Rhyme is offered as an alternative.

Now, Cockney Rhyme is not just a bastardization of the British accent, it is slang that replaces words with rhyming phrases.

So, a flight of stairs is “apples and pears;” money is “bread and honey;” a card is “bladder of lard.”

The only problem is, just like American slang, not everyone is privy to the meanings of all the words, so some might be confused by the machine.

The Associated Press reported that one user felt a little strange when she selected to withdraw her “sausage and mash” (cash), and another user who thought the machine had been tampered with, promptly grabbed her bladder of lard and went on her merry way.

Though it’s a funny and clever scheme on the part of the guys at Bank Machine, is it really appropriate for an ATM to be so lighthearted about its user’s finances?

How would you react to a machine that asked you if you wanted your money in speckled hens (10 pounds) or a pony (25 pounds), and what would be the American equivalent?

 For a fun little tutorial and history of the dialect click here. To learn a few more fun rhymes, check out these guys.

Oh, it's Hans Christian Ørsted's birthday.

And this is an homage to the Danish physicist who discovered if you run a current through a wire, then the electricity creates a magnetic field, which will deflect a compass needle.

Now you know.

Thanks Google

Just so you know, Google could have gone with any of the following homages:
-- Halle Berry's birthday
-- Marcia Gay Harden's birthday
-- Magic Johnson's birthday
-- Steve Martin's birthday
-- V-J Day
-- Pakistan Independence Day

But hey, even Danish physicists get their day

Orlando Sentinel headline
Deliberations will resume for man accused of groping Minnie Mouse

Fark.com headline
Some goofy guy arrested for grabbing Minnie Mouse's big thunder mountains at Disney World

Here's the story

 It seems that Sarah Palin is the gift that never stops giving.

For those of you who missed the show, Conan O'Brian ingeniously invited William Shatner, renouned for his spoken-word skillz, to commemorate Palin's resignation. In this video, he recites a series of the former governor's tweets, which seems to make more sense after he reads them. 

Just for funzies, check out Shatner in his spoken-word heyday:

It's got not one, not two, not three, but four naked women with our favorite little friend -- the black bar. And then of course Music Steve himself -- with an even more welcome black bar.

He's trying to get noticed and bothered to e-mail me this, so here it is. Enjoy.