1 // This guy's racism is hilarious! (Trust me...watch to the end)

2 // What men would be like in labor...probably...

3 // The WORST. PRODUCT. EVER?

(Brought to you by the SAME guy who got in HUGE trouble for THIS: http://bit.ly/WFsZ8e)

4 // An INCREDIBLE collection of photographs that tell the story of our humanity (click the image to see the rest)

5 // A quote for your consideration. Straight from the mouth of Frederick Douglass, an escaped slave, and one of the most powerful figures of American history. Let this sink in...it may change the course of your entire day...year...life.

"If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.

This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them, and these will continue till they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."

Well, my friends...there we are. Happy weekend to you - until we meet again on Monday.

peace

m

The day we were there was actually Martin Luther King's birthday. I'd been telling them a little about him during the week, and even showed them a clip from his "I have a dream" speech in front of the Lincoln Memorial. 

Lincoln Memorial, Washington DC, USA

They couldn't understand why anyone would want to kill him. I explained that sometimes, when people are working hard to change things, other people don't like that. I shared that MLK was challenging our nation to get rid of racism and segregation, and some just completely rejected that entire notion. They rejected MLK because they thought he was a troublemaker and an upstart. They thought he had too much power, and it made the afraid...so they took his life.

We walked down the steps of the memorial to the very spot where he delivered his speech. As we looked out over the reflecting pool toward the Washington Monument, they were quiet. It made me so proud as a dad that they were really GETTING IT. FINALLY. We stood there in silence for a few moments, just thinking about what the scene must have been like...hundreds of thousands of people cheering for racial equality.

"Dad?" My 8-year-old broke the silence. Sensing a teachable moment, I knelt next to him to find out what powerful words would come out of his mouth next.

"Yes, Josiah?" He paused for a moment. I just knew whatever he said next would be profound and enlightening.

"Do you remember that scene in Transformers 3 when Optimus Prime was at the Lincoln Memorial? I think he stood right over there. That was awesome."

Um. WHAT?!

Here we are, reliving some of the most powerful bits of history our nation has experienced, and you're thinking about TRANSFORMERS?!

I almost rolled my eyes and told him we weren't talking about Transformers, we were talking about IMPORTANT things...but, I didn't. All I could muster at that point was...

"Yep, I think he did stand right over there. That really was awesome."

"Yeah...it was. I'm cold, can we go now?"

So, we walked back to the car, turned up the heat, grabbed some Chipotle, and hit the road back home.

For a while I was kinda bummed. Ultimately, I didn't take them to DC to remind them of a sci-fi movie, but that's what they thought of. Because they're kids.

Adults revere monuments of heroic days gone by.

Kids believe in heroes right now.

I remember those days, but now I'm a grown up. Yet, if I'm quiet long enough, I can still feel a little bit of that thrill from when I was a little boy. Of when everything seemed so much bigger than I was, and everything was amazing.

As C.S. Lewis said,

“When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

Washington DC is FILLED with monuments of incredible events and people that did something amazing once. People spend days visiting them and recalling the moments that changed history. Then, for the most part, we all go back to our normal lives where we do everything possible to not rock the boat too much...all while wondering why things don't change.

My children believe that things still change. In our house, I think all six of our children were born headstrong, strong-willed, and fighters. It's exhausting, flabbergasting, and glorious all at the same time.

They still believe, as Chesterton wrote, that fairy tales are true, "because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."

When our children look out at the world, they see plenty of dragons. What they're wondering is 'where are all the dragon slayers?' The reality is, Optimus Prime isn't coming to save the day. But, they're not waiting for him, they're looking to us.

I don't believe Martin Luther King's goal was to one day have monuments and streets and churches and scholarships named in his honor. I believe he set his eyes on the ugly, foul dragon of racial inequality, donned his armor, and went to work.

So must we all.

peace

m

A little historical context. I grew up in a conservative (Biblically and socially) conservative home. I'm a preacher's kid. I'm the oldest of eight children (fun fact: I'm also now the SHORTEST). I was raised to be "pro-life". At the time, that meant vehemently opposing abortion in all forms. I walked the picket lines outside our local women's clinic every year as a child, carrying a sign that read, "ABORTION KILLS CHILDREN." Every time someone would drive by, roll down their windows and scream obscenities or flip us off, we were made to feel like heroes or martyrs. As if our sign holding was REALLY reaching people. Those picketing days were the same Sunday each year. The church would be packed, a sermon on the sanctity of life would be preached, we'd all get fired up, go hold our signs, sing some hymns, then exchange stories of how persecuted we were for standing up for Jesus and life over some pizza. Then, we'd all retreat back to our safe, Christians homes filled with framed scriptures, Twila Paris, and no abortion. I'd often hear (not in my own home, but around Christendom in general) about how evil those women were who got abortions. How they were selfish...how they were under the control of satan...how they were all liberals...how they hated God...how they were literally ushering in the destruction of America.

At first glance it might sound as if I'm a bit disappointed with those chapters of my early life. Perhaps that's part of it, but looking back now, that was just my culture. The REAL sadness I have is this:

It wasn't until I was 23 years old that I met someone who'd actually had an abortion.

It was someone I'd known very well. She wasn't evil. She wasn't liberal. She didn't hate God (in fact, she was actually a Christian). She wasn't trying to destroy the nation.

She didn't know what to do.

She was afraid. 

It ruined every stereotype I'd ever clung to about abortion and the women who sought them out. So, I decided to rewrite my own story on what exactly it meant to be "pro-life."

And, there's a difference, by the way, in being "pro-life" and simply "anti-abortion."

I believe much of what I experienced growing up wasn't "pro-life as much as "anti-abortion." The people who screamed prophecies of great woe against physicians who performed abortions and women who chose to terminate their pregnancies were the same people cheering when we dropped bombs in the Middle East. They were the same people calling for us to make the Arab world a "glass parking lot." They were the same people who NEVER made a point to adopt unwanted babies, or care for the women who carried them. Their definition of fighting abortion was to throw a few bucks at the local Crisis Pregnancy Center every once in a great while, then be done with it until the next picketing day arrived. If I were a young, pregnant, single woman in my town right now, I'd have absolutely no idea where to turn.

A local church places small white crosses in their lawn to represent the number of pregnancies terminated since the passing of Roe v. Wade. That's a lot of crosses. Every time I drive by, I wonder if they've also helped that many struggling women. And, I'm not talking about making a church donation so SOMEONE ELSE can "help", I'm talking about members of the church sticking their OWN necks out. I'm talking about inviting those women into their homes...into their Sunday School classes...into their lives. I'm talking about offering to adopt the baby (or finding a family who can)...I'm talking about offering to cover medical expenses...I'm talking about being willing to care, love, and comfort even if she decides to go through with the procedure anyway. (After all, it's not like HER sins are any worse than my own).

For the record, I'm pro-life. I believe life should be valued and protected in as many stages as possible. But, that's risky, because claiming to protect the unborn is the easy part...caring for every other stage is difficult and complicated. Because people are difficult and complicated...messy...disappointing. Being pro-life to me also means I'm anti-death penalty, and passionately anti-war.

I believe with all my heart the pro-life movement has lost its mojo because people simply don't take it seriously any longer.

Why?

The movement as a whole has an abysmal record at advocating for and caring for the BORN. I know there are small pockets of incredible people who care for women considering or recovering from abortion, but I'm talking about the bird's eye view. It's easy to advocate for the UNBORN, because, at the end of the day, that baby is someone else's problem. That baby is safely tucked away somewhere else.

The pro-life movement will only get its mojo back only when they start generously care for the life in the womb, AND EVERY LIFE effected by its very presence. (This includes even the women who terminate their pregnancy anyway).

If we're to be taken seriously as "pro-life", then we must give ourselves for the born AND the unborn. Until that happens, the wheels will simply spin round and round in the mud.

Because babies in the womb are only ONE aspect...perhaps even the tip of the iceberg. Defending life isn't for the faint of heart, or flippant, or partisan. In fact, my wife and I wrestle with so much of this every single day. I'm convinced more laws (or repealing Roe v. Wade) won't ultimately affect this massive issue...investing in people WILL. But, in order to invest in people, we have to get to know them, and to get to know people, we have to go where they are.

The truth of the matter is that each one of us are a crisis pregnancy center. We don't need to send people away somewhere to get help, we need to invite them in.

One of my goals this year is to befriend a physician who works in a women's clinic. No agenda, just to get to know him/her. The reality is, abortion probably won't ever be illegal again, but my hope is that with enough love, care, and generosity, perhaps we can make them (almost) unnecessary. 

To all the "pro-lifers": Let's put down our picket signs. Let's replace our clever slogans with invitations. It's impossible for our calls to be heard if we're not willing to take the same risks we expect of the mothers we're begging to carry their pregnancies to term. It's time to get the mojo back.

To all the "pro-choicers", women who've had an abortion, or are considering one: My wife and I are your friend. No judgement. We're here for you. To vent...to question...to struggle. We know where you're coming from...maybe even better than you'd ever imagine.

Click HERE to see some incredible info graphics about abortion and the women who seek the out. (For instance, did you know 73% of women who terminate a pregnancy are religiously affiliated?)

There's MUCH more to say on this...but I'll save the rest of my thoughts for later...

In the meantime, what say YOU?

peace

m

“Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.”

When I had to cancel my first flight to Uganda in 2008 because my wife experienced near-death complications while pregnant with our twins, I thought the dream I'd carried since I was eight was ending before it had even begun.

The good news: it wasn't over.

The other news: it wasn't going to look anything nearly as romantic in real life as it looked in my head.

So, next Tuesday, I'll fly from Tennessee to Uganda. I'll wear suits (and maybe even a tie) every day. I'll be in wall to wall meetings with leaders on every level: village, parish, county, district, parliament, and national. 

Next week will conclude FOUR YEARS of ground work. Behind the scenes, no fanfare, nothing to write home about...ground work. The particulars. Building consensus. Checking and rechecking. Solidifying relationships and partnerships.  

All the while, trying to figure out how in the world to continue raising support.

Ground work is the unsexy side of missions. Everyone cranes their necks to see the big, beautiful, finished product, but this is what has to happen before. If you want an all-access pass to see how missions REALLY works, take a trip that's PURELY about ground work. Sometimes it's tedious, frequently it's more expensive than you planned, and often it takes much longer than you hoped.

But...every moment of it is worth it.

Because the work we do shouldn't feel like a missional one-night stand. We work with PEOPLE...real people. Wipe away the veneers and they look a lot like us, or maybe we look a lot like them. Whatever the case, whether you work in your own town, or 8,000 miles away from your town, NEVER skip on ground work. I speak from experience when I say it has the potential to be disastrous.

This is my final trip for the initial ground work. In March, 2013, we'll actually BREAK GROUND on a medical park in Central Uganda...then it's back to the ground work. It might not ever end, but change in the world that's worth our lives is also worth the work it takes to get there.

My best advice for myself as I prepare to leave and for you is this:

The magnitude of the journey we're on just shows how crucial each small step is. Walk well, even if you walk slow.

Can't wait to show you what's next!

peace

m

They'd always try to spin it so us teenagers would think talking about modesty was cool, but it never worked. Mostly, it just felt like a GIANT guilt trip that went something like this...

[I'm paraphrasing...keep in mind these are filtered through my teenage memories of myself]

"Girls, you dress like sluts...it breaks God's heart...you should feel terrible...and don't be surprised when guys act like animals...you're just asking for it. MODEST IS HOTTEST, AMIRIGHT?!" (Whoever came up with this is probably a monk)

"Guys, you're a bunch of hornballs...quit staring...I know the girls are wearing those sinful bikinis...and short shorts...and cleavage...but you're a man...and if you stare too long, that means you've just had sex in your heart...and we all know what that means, don't we?" (We didn't)

Then, they'd split us up by gender and pour on as much guilt-and-shame-inducing lectures about sexuality, porn, thoughts, and virginity (or 2nd chance virginity, or 4th change...5th chance? Basically, however many times you'd had sex, you could rededicate yourself to God and be a virgin again. To this day, I'm not quite sure how that worked, but I think the magic only worked if we signed a pledge card...then, BOOM, you're a virgin again?)

Honestly, as a teenage guy, in those moments, there was this strange strength I'd get from the "sex nights" at youth group. I'd go home after I signed my card and believe (even though, the BIble was RARELY used correctly during the sermon) that I was indeed called to live the way they told us to.

This feeling would last until the next morning. After that, it was back to the normal feelings of, "but, how do I do all the stuff they said in REAL LIFE?"

Every girl and guy I knew would wake up on Thursday and still long to be enjoyed...attractive...invited.

I'll often write at a local coffee shop, and the number of women that wear purpose-driven yoga pants combined with the number of men that take notice is staggering. (And they're not teenagers in youth group anymore.)

What are purpose-driven yoga pants, you ask? Well, they're form fitting (and by form fitting I mean FORM FITTING), opaque leggings worn by women who may or probably don't do yoga, worn under the premise of comfort, but really in hopes someone will notice.

Men always notice.

My wife and I had a conversation about this the other day - I just happen to be married to a woman who could look beautiful in absolutely EVERYTHING.

Anywho...

I asked if she thought women still needed what they needed in youth group. I believe men do, and I think part of the issue is that we don't talk very honestly about sex. If the questions get too awkward, suddenly we revert back to "modest is hottest" or "just make sure you keep your pants on!"

None of these ever really address the deep needs for intimacy humanity is born with. We can ignore them on the outside, but anyone with eyes and a tiny bit of intuition knows what's really going on underneath.

Because sex isn't a mechanical act. 

Attraction is art, and sex is (supposed to be) poetry. It doesn't always turn out like that, but I suspect perhaps that's because we have much to unlearn when it comes to a connection of that depth. I'd been married nearly 11 years, and I can't even begin to fathom how much I have to unlearn and relearn and learn for the first time.

Going through the motions just means you know how to participate, but sex is more than participation.

So, I pose the question to you...

Why do you think it's STILL so difficult for people of faith to discuss sex and sexuality honestly?

WOMEN: Do you have a need to be noticed? Is your confidence hurt when it doesn't happen the way you hope? Are you able to be COMPLETELY honest with yourself / significant other / spouse about this? Why/why not?

MEN: Do you feel ashamed of your own needs? Is rejection / delay a regular part of your life? Are you able to be COMPLETELY honest with yourself / significant other / spouse about this? Why/why not?

Everyone has different needs and perspectives and desires and expectations when it comes to the deepest, most intimate parts of who we are. That's why it's crucial that when we have a longing...we tell the truth instead of pretending it's not there.

I raise my glass to purpose-driven yoga pants, for they remind us of our need to be honest!

peace

m

Ok, TECHNICALLY, we ARE in the market since our family is now the size of a small city, and we've outgrown our minivan. But, HERE is what we're dreaming fondly of, and I've never heard a radio commercial for it...and there will have to be a miracle for us to EVER actually own one since we're missionaries and don't have have our own show on TLC.

Anywho...

The radio ad played uptempo music, and the owner of the used car lot began to practically yell about how everyone needed to come buy a car from him RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT!

The ad lasted around one minute, but, the script took a very strange turn right out of the gate.

Those were the opening lines of the commercial.

"I've made a huge mistake. Last month I made a giant error and purchased TOO many cars, and now we have to sell them IMMEDIATELY or else we're gonna be in trouble! To make up for my mistake, we've SLASHED ALL THE PRICES TO RECORD LOWS! WE will handle your financing IN HOUSE! Good credit, bad credit, no credit...NO ONE IS DENIED!"

When the ad ended, I turned off the radio to process for just a minute.

If this guy was telling the truth, HOW in the world could anyone make a bad enough mistake that led them to buy too many cars?!

If this guy was telling the truth, wouldn't historically low prices on their vehicles be bad for business?!

If this guy was telling the truth, why would they handle loan financing in-house and not turn anyone away? Wouldn't that be a disaster?!

Does this guy even know what he's doing?!

Most of this was probably just...hype. Typically, I run far and fast from hype. When I see or hear lines like, "Biggest event EVER!" or "BEST opportunity in our lifetime!" or "Guaranteed to fix EVERYTHING!", I tune out almost immediately. Mostly because, in my almost 32 years of life on earth, to date, nothing has EVER lived up to the hype.

Ever.

Yet, we still use it, fall for it, and are incredibly disappointed when we're let down.

What's most disappointing to me is how often we use hype in Christianity. Leading up to almost every weekend, I see pastors tweeting or posting about how AMAZING the upcoming worship service is going to be...how the new sermon series (that they're the star of) is going to be life-changing! I've seen church ads about how if people miss the service, they'll be missing the greatest service of all time.

Christmas and Easter weekends are often as commercially marketed for churches as they are retail stores. Pyrotechnics, helicopters, epic movie-trailer-esque advertisements, booming voiceovers, scandalous sermon titles to get media attention.

(Spoiler: pretty much ALL sermons on sex, no matter HOW pornographic the title, will end the exact same way.)

I love imagery, creativity, expression, and innovation, but I despise HYPE.

It's as if we've reduced the Bible down to either the simplest or the most self-righteous versions, and because they can't draw a crowd on their own, we have to find a way to make Jesus go big or else people will go home.

And, there's intense pressure to go bigger and better each time around or else people will lose interest. But, lose interest in what? The song and dance?

I interact with people from all over the United States, and many parts of the world. (A mixture of Christians and faith seekers). The 3 comments I hear about church the most, and nearly word for word from all of them is:

THIS: "It was big and loud, but there wasn't any community. I had no idea how to connect. There was a main event, then everyone left."

OR THIS: "It was like a social club. I received a few glances and one or two greetings, but that was it."

OR...THIS: "They seemed more interested in pushing a political agenda than being a church. I don't quite follow their particular beliefs, so there just wasn't room for me."

None of those phrases should ever be said about the group know as the "Body of Christ."

When this happens, not only is it incredibly disheartening, it's also false advertising...JUST like the used car salesman. Drawing people in with a certain, compelling storyline, only to have them show up and realize isn't really not like the way he said it was at all.

I've never known anyone to crave a big "Christian" show as the answer to their questions, doubts, struggles, or deep spiritual needs. Yet, when an outsider looks in on American Christian culture, that's exactly what they see.

(Yes, this is a broad brush, and there are genuine exceptions to the rule...my issue is that the genuine, arms-wide-open church should be the rule, not the exception.)

As I said earlier in this post, I think creativity in the church is beautiful and vital, but it may also be distracting and detracting instead of inclusive and inviting. In fact, we probably need far more art within the church instead of entertainment. Entertainment is where we go when we need a break...sometimes it's even where we go when we want to hide.

But, people are searching for a safe place to be, not another place to hide. 

May our communities of faith never come across like an ad for a used car lot...because we're not here to sell Jesus at a discount, we're here to give him away with our lives.

peace

m

Then, in the midst of what we read as a hopelessly jumbled up mess of terrible events, the narrative camera zooms all the way in to a short conversation between Jesus and the Roman-appointed prefect, Pontias Pilate.

At stake in the moment is literally life and death. By the end of the conversation, Pilate will put it to the people as to who should live and who will be beaten almost to death...and then crucified.

Christ knows what's coming. I believe that's why he so poignantly explains to Pilate how starkly different we handle things in the Kingdom of God. In the kingdoms of men, we humiliate, destroy, and negate those we don't like anymore...in the kingdoms of men, the servants exist to fight on behalf of the powerful.

In the Kingdom of God, we protect the humiliated, destroyed, and negated. In the Kingdom of God, the powerful give themselves to be servants.

Therefore, Jesus says...

I'm convinced Pilate had never judged a case like this before.

In his closing statement, Jesus simply states, "Every one who is of the truth hears my voice."

I imagine all eyes on Pilate as he mulls the complicated ramifications of condemning Jesus and the even more uproarious consequences of letting him go. Finally, he takes a long drink of wine from his goblet, places his hand on Christ's shoulder, and utters...

Indeed.

Whatever it is, it's become the god of the church. Not necessarily "truth" itself, but loudly and often condescendingly communicating whichever "hot-button" issue is sending the United States to hell in a hand-basket on any given day. From the impossibility of Obama's Christianity (because his sin must be bigger than the cross could handle?) to gays to abortion to economic perspectives, and everything in between. Christians from all sides and every corner have a knack for tossing aside the Kingdom of God when the mentality of the kingdoms of the world are more convenient.

Suddenly, we find ourselves humiliating, destroying, and negating the very ones who need our protection from humiliation, destruction, and negation.

When pressed, we'll simply say, "We HAVE to tell 'the truth' in love...but we HAVE to tell 'the truth'."

What I find most provocative about the whole (oft-misunderstood) phrase, "speak the truth in love", is that nowhere in the Bible is speaking 'the truth' ever the goal.

Now, before you think I'm just some mouthpiece for relativity, let me tell you that I most certainly am not.

My point is this:

We've come to view the truth as a giant pill we and the rest of heathen society must swallow, and love as a sugary coating we place around the outside to help the medicine go down easier.

But, that's just not it at all. I mentioned Paul's call for the church to "speak the truth in love" is often misunderstood and thus wrongly taught.

When he pens those words, our English translations lead us to the conclusion that he's simply saying we need to use love when communicating difficult truths. However, the preposition between "speak" and "love" is the greek word "ἐν". We use it all the time...it's our word "in".

The phrasing in this passage shouldn't make love out to be a tool to better proclaim truth, but rather Paul is telling these new Christians that love is the avenue, the vehicle, and the destination of truth itself. 

I believe a better translation would be this:

"Rather, speaking the truth BY loving..."

See the difference? Love isn't a sugary coating, and truth isn't a giant pill. Love is truth itself.

John 3.16 doesn't say "For God so loved the truth, that he gave...", it says, "God so loved the world, that he GAVE..."

1 Corinthians 13 doesn't say, "The greatest of these is truth...", it says, "The greatest of these is LOVE..."

There's much to be said on this, but for now, I'll simply leave you with this final thought...

When Pilate asked Jesus, "What is truth?", I believe instead of answering him with words, Jesus simply showed him with the cross.

peace

m

To this day, the question I still remember more than any others from the book was this:

"What percentage of work around the home do you think the husband and wife should be responsible for?"

It was fairly broad...groceries...cleaning...cooking...bathing children...decorating...etc.

To the best of my knowledge, I put 70% for my wife, and 30% for myself (at the time, I considered 30% to be VERY generous of me...but I figured real life would be more like my spouse doing 90% of the world around the home).

After all, the woman's TRUE place was to make sure our abode was pristine, the pantry was always full, our offspring always spelled lovely, dinner was steaming on the table when I arrived home, and to greet me at the door in full makeup, sassy dress, and a GIANT kiss. Right, guys?!

Anyone who's been married longer than the honeymoon is aware of how my pre-marital views weren't even in the same universe of actual marriage. That doesn't mean it's bad, just that real life is much different than the life we project on paper.

I'm writing these thoughts today mostly for men (or the women who enable them) to keep those expectations. It's a little awkward, but worth a conversation at the very least, and MAYBE even some relational changes in your home.

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves on social media is when I see posts like this:

...OR....

"Came home and my husband had vacuumed! BEST. HUSBAND. EVER!"

There are infinite variations of this kind of posting, but...

SERIOUSLY?!

It's not a pet peeve because a wife posts it, it's a pet peeve because this shouldn't so rare that when it happens, it's such an incredible surprise that a man automatically wins the BEST. HUSBAND. EVER. award.

Men...your wife shouldn't be completely floored and surprised when you do "her job" for her. Because, it's not really HER job. When you vowed "from this day forward", you signed on for the full package. It's not two single people with divided roles who happen to live together and procreate (or PRACTICE procreating), it's a unified front.

There are PLENTY of mistakes I make in our home. Sometimes, I'm consistent, available, and wholly invested in making sure Jordana has the domestic support system she needs, and other times I'm not. This message is as much pep talk for me as it is for anyone else.

I wager that if your spouse is completely shocked and surprised if you help in the kitchen, or make a grocery run, it's time for the two of you to have a little chat.

HUSBANDS: When was the last time you asked if you were providing her enough support around the house? When was the last time you asked if you helped enough with the needs of your children? (And not just the fun stuff, like going to get ice cream.)

WIVES: When was the last time you expressed a SPECIFIC need you have around the house? Which areas are you running thin? 

EDIT (added after publishing): Both of you may work. Your life might be completely different than I've alluded to in this post. That's fine. You wife STILL needs to know you're available and attentive to her needs in the home / outside the home / wherever.

Communication in marriage isn't always pretty or smooth. These sorts of conversations can be pretty uncomfortable sometimes, but they're ALWAYS worth having.

Going to the grocery store ONE TIME A MONTH as a romantic surprise for your wife is easy...finding out how to support her every day of the month is difficult...and WAY more romantic.

I don't have any idea what your wife's needs are (because that would be creepy and weird if I did), but YOU should. It may be completely different than anything I've mentioned in this post, but I promise it's crucial that you find out, and she'll be so glad you asked.

(I have some thoughts for women/wives as well, but that's a post for another day)

Now, get out there and be the BEST. HUSBAND. EVER.

peace

m

Meet Amar Bharati, the world's most devoted follower of the Hindu deity, Shiva.

He's not waving at anyone, he's worshipping, and his arm has been raised that way 24/7 for the last 38 years. Somewhere along the way, he decided his faith would be complete if he left his wife and children and held his arm in the air to show just how devoted he was to his god. I don't know if Shiva has ever told Amar "thank you" for his faithfulness, but nonetheless, he's given himself fully to this act.

It might be easy to make fun of Amar, and point how how ridiculous one might think this is. After all, his arm is now atrophied, and is stuck in that position. But, when I first read his story, I couldn't help but wonder how often we do similar things.

I'm a Christian, and sometimes, I've found myself to be more passionate about my devotion than my actual faith. It can start small...preferring a certain style of worship...or Bible version...or personality. From there it becomes more serious, all the way to the point where we begin questioning someone else's devotion, or commitment, or even the position of their very soul.

When that happens, we make fools of ourselves, because WE become the centerpiece instead of the God in whom we seek to follow. Our standard becomes THE standard, and when others don't measure up, they must not be as devoted as we are...right?

Devotion destroys when we hold it in higher regard than the faith it's tied to.

My prayer is that my commitment to God will ALWAYS outweigh proving my devotion.

peace

m

Today is inauguration day.

Today, lots of people will be watching President Obama be sworn in for his second term.

Today, many will be saying terrible things about him. Terrible things they would NEVER want said to or about them (or anyone they care about).

Today, I'm inviting anyone who is willing to hear these words to hear my heart behind them:

It's ok to disagree, it's not ok to demonize.

It's ok to vote against, it's not ok to character assassinate.

It's ok passionately question and debate, it's not ok to completely negate another's ideas simply because they're different from your own.

It's ok to believe what you believe deeply, it's not ok to write off someone else's beliefs when they don't line up with yours.

Perhaps Christ had us in mind when he spoke the ageless command:

I'm 100% convinced he meant what he said. I'm also convinced this might be the most challenging passage in the entire Bible. Not when people we like are involved, but when we're faced with those we don't.

I've never met President Obama (even though I'd like to), but, from what I can tell, while I agree with some of what he says and believes, I find myself in disagreement with others. But, that doesn't make him any different to me than anyone else, including my wife...I love her dearly, but we still disagree, and sometimes quite dramatically. That's part of the deal.

We aren't called to love, care, and invest in only those we completely agree with (if that were the case, there wouldn't be anyone to love, care or invest in, since those people don't exist). Love is about giving ourselves away especially to those we may even deem unworthy.

The entire message of the cross of Jesus is that love was extended to a worldwide population of unworthy.

So, let's do unto Obama as we would have him do unto us. Let's do unto Glenn Beck...Rush Limbaugh...Hugo Chavez...Gordon Brown...Yoweri Museveni...Al Qaeda...

The world doesn't change because we keep trying the same old stuff and expecting different results. The world doesn't change because we bully another group into submission. The world doesn't change because we cast the correct vote.

The world changes when WE change.

To that end, I leave you with the final 2:38 of Martin Luther King Jr's final speech, given April 3, 1968. He was murdered the very next day.

What a legacy.

peace

m

1 // Believe something // if you ascribe to ANYTHING, someone will oppose you.

2 // Ask a question // this is still the most sure-fire (sure-fire?) way to get a rise.

3 // Try something new // new is often terrifying and therefore very upsetting.

4 // Deviate // if you leave the insulated comfort of "typical", the first obstacle you will encounter are those who think you shouldn't leave in the first place.

5 // Don't treat anything or anyone as untouchable // it's ALWAYS a good idea to raise legitimate issues...even with individuals or groups with whom you mostly (or even partially) agree. 

6 // Avoid predictability // if people don't know what to expect, they tend to stay defensive. (When this happens, refer to #10)

7 // Disrupt the status quo // nothing changes the game like a trick play.

8 // Stay malleable // you can't call for change in someone else that you're not willing to undergo yourself.

9 // Consistently reevaluate // I'll often practice this every few steps. The road changes, which requires us to regularly adjust. This isn't popular.

10 // Refuse to view anyone as your enemy // our societies NEED enemies. Everything seems to be based on "us" vs. "them". Change doesn't happen most effectively at the end of a spear but when we extend the olive branch.

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If you do ANY of these things, you might lose followers on Twitter. You might be faced with some tough conversations. You might be labeled. You might not get invited back. 

But, if your life only revolves around those with whom you agree, nothing will ever change, grow, mature, or develop past where you are right now. 

I used to be offended when people got upset with me. Not anymore.

Just because we happen to disagree (even vehemently at times) doesn't diminish your value as a person. And...if somehow we become enemies, I'll do my best to love anyway.

My challenge:

Don't be afraid of making people upset. Be afraid of what could happen if you don't.

Oh, and one more thing...if you do any of those 10 things above, chances are you'll often find yourself doing them alone, or at least in the significant minority. Do them anyway.

peace

m

Last week my wife and I flew with our oldest (Tobin), and youngest (Rhys) to Southern California for my brother's wedding. It was lovely. But, during our stay, something I'd been mulling over finally boiled to the top, and I wanted to share some thoughts and see what YOU think.

This is something that riles up in me every time I see a movie like The Hobbit, or Skyfall, or read about Taylor Swift, or see one more commercial for one of those dreadful "Real Housewives of..." or "Big Rich..." shows. It's especially palpable now that Lance Armstrong has decided with his conscience (i.e., public relations team) that "confessing" a decades-long lie to Oprah is the best move.

Without people like Taylor Swift to date one of the Kennedy's and write songs about ex-boyfriends....

Without Hobbits and dwarves making epic journeys across Middle Earth...

Without 007 spouting clever one-liners, always getting the girl, and saving the world...

Without wealthy housewives fighting over who is the bigger b*tch and who has the best plastic surgery...

Without Lance Armstrong timing his apology just right....

Without all these things (among others), we'd be stuck...in our own lives. And, I'm not sure we'd be able to stomach that. Not because we aren't pretty enough or have ex-boyfriends or can't sing or never do anything wrong, but because we don't experience enough risk or adventure.

We need all those people and films and songs because they allow us to experience something we long for but aren't willing to pursue.

The picture above is of my son as we prepared to land in Salt Lake City, Utah. Every inch of Utah was covered in snow. It was incredible. He was ready to skip the rest of our trip and just go exploring...it didn't matter where we went, he was ready to find an adventure. 

On one of our final flights, he asked to go visit the pilots in the cockpit before we took off. As we turned to find our seats, the pilot said, "Thanks for coming to visit...that hardly ever happens anymore."

And, there's the problem.

As G.K. Chesterton quipped,

We've become so accustomed to our schedules and calendars and comfortabilities that when anything comes along and seeks to disrupt what we're used to, we fight back. How DARE life feel bigger than we are...

It'll always be easier to live vicariously through James Bond, or complain because Taylor Swift made millions off a song about a break-up (again), or fein shock and horror at Lance Armstrong for injecting a banned substance so he could pedal his bike faster.

But, none of those things will ever absolve of us of our sin of safe while crying louder for personalities to keep us distracted with entertainment.

I say, by all means, love good music and celebrate incredible stories (both fiction and non-fiction), but don't forget to live. Because, one day, you'll wonder why you didn't.

peace

m

He died in 1908, but has some gut-check-inducing admonitions to give on what it means to love our enemies. Personally, I believe these could be the most poignant words oh the topic of people ushering in God's will on earth as it is in heaven when it comes to regarding "our enemy."

Allow this 100+ year old wisdom to reawaken the call of God for how you were created to engage those with whom you find yourself opposed.

peace

m

You hate your enemy? You are foolish. Why? Because if your enemy persecutes you, you also inwardly persecute yourself...

"...for say, is it not persecution, and the most cruel persecution, to torture yourself by your hatred towards your enemy? Love your enemy, and you will be wise. O, if only you knew what a triumph, what blessedness it is to love your enemy, and to do good to him! So did the Son of God, so did God in the Holy Trinity, triumph, and still triumphs, through His love, over the ungrateful and evil-natured human race; so also did God's saints triumph over their enemies, by loving them and doing good to them."

I used to pretend they didn't exist. Like everything was just fine...I was fine...no questions.

And then it happened. A tiny inkling of, "But, what if..." popped into my mind one day.

"What if it's not exactly like I think it is..."

"What if it's not what I've always been told it is..."

"What if it's not what I've always BELIEVED..."

But, how could I doubt?! I'm an ordained Christian minister! We're not supposed to doubt., right?

Wrong.

The longer I'm alive, the longer I interact with people, the longer I'm the father to a moderate to severely disabled little boy (who will never pray or verbally convert to ANY faith...so he just trusts that he'll be taken care of), the more depth and texture I see and experience in my faith. It's as if doubt is in essence an element of my belief. 

How?

Well, the entire reason that any of us arrive at any set of beliefs is because we doubted something else was true. In other words, we can't even believe something until we've doubted something else. 

In the creation narrative of Genesis, Adam and Eve are tricked into believing a different truth because they doubted what they always understood to that point. A socialite inquired of Christ about salvation because he doubted he'd done enough to reach it. The criminal crucified with Jesus cried out for rescue because he doubted there'd be another chance.

Our faith begins with doubt.

Out faith is also sustained by doubt. If you never doubt, it could mean you're not thinking about your believe enough. If there's anything I've come to understand, it's that the reality of God and the Gospel story is HUGE. There's nuance, twists, turns, wonder, and great mystery.

Does it all work just like we think? Probably not.

Can we figure most of it out? Hopefully not.

And there's the word I was working my way towards...HOPE.

For a while, I'd only give airtime to my doubts. This in-turn gave birth to fear. Fear only leads to dread. There was zero hope, and I couldn't figure out why, until...

I discovered a better definition and practice of hope. Since I was young, I always thought hope was that thing you had when your best friend said he'd call and never did...or when you were supposed to go somewhere with your dad but it didn't work out.

I figured hope was holding on for good news while expecting to be let down.

Now, I define hope quite differently...like this:

Hope is simply extending grace to doubt.

What does that mean?

It means that hope gives our faith a forward trajectory, and endures the wandering gaze of doubt with patience.

I used to feel very guilty when doubts would arise that were connected with my faith, but now I see them as my mind and heart deeply engaged in peace talks.

Don't feel silly if you have more hope than doubt. Don't feel guilty if you have more doubt than hope. Just remember to allow room for both.

In the end, my faith is stronger now than it has ever been., because I've stopped fearing my doubts more than I trust my hope.

To the doubters...I'm with you!

peace

m

Here's why:

Because we need to challenge each other.

We don't get better when we all find the group where everyone agrees with our perspective and then go split off into separate groups and talk about how wrong the other groups are.

Is it easier to write posts like "Why Hobby Lobby are the best Christians ever?" or "How Chick-Fil-A really showed why they're God's favorite restaurant?" Absolutely. But, there are already thousands of pieces like that...so I wrote something different. I see things a little differently, and I write because I enjoy sharing what I see.

It's not easy.

If you challenge any idea with a different one, you will most certainly be met with some pretty intense push back. People will get angry with you. People might even say nasty things to you. 

For generations, people frequently met to hash through ideas. In Churches (they even had HUGE councils to wrestles with difficult tenants of theology). In pubs. In homes. Around dinner tables. In the public square.

The forum for healthy challenge and interaction of ideas and belief seems to be some kind of lost art. Our culture is split by red state/blue state, left, right, conservative, liberal, etc. The hope is that by slapping those labels on different people groups, you won't have to dialogue because you can already assume you know everything you need to know about them, and what they believe.

I think that's incredibly wrong.

You and I most certainly will not always agree. But, that shouldn't negate the power of interaction. 

So, why the heck do I write blogs like this? 

Because I must. And it's worth every moment of push back (even the ugly ones) if we can challenge each other with different ideas and perspectives, yet remain friends in the end.

And, if we EVER expect anything on this earth to change, our addiction to only spending time with those we agree, our addiction to our own comfort, and our addiction to scoring political points over everything else has to end.

peace

m

1 // To NEVER wear...MEGGINGS (man leggings)

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2 // To go on more of these...(the bigger and crazier the better)

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3 // To make GIANT headway on building THIS:

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4 // To launch THIS:

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5 // To take GREAT care of THESE:

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Those are mine...what are YOURS?

peace

m

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“The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.” // G.K. Chesterton

“Whatever’s there to feel, feel it – the riddance, the relief, the fright and freedom, the fear of forgetting, the dull ache of your own mortality. Get with someone you can trust with tears, with anger, and wonderment and utter silence. Get that part done – the sooner the better. The only way around these things is through them.”

Thomas Lynch

I never thought that someday I'd find such life and hope in books, poems, and essays written by a funeral director from Michigan...but, wow. And, it seemed appropriate to use words from Thomas Lynch as we prepare to lay 2012 to rest.

If there's one principle that continues to beckon, it's what he captures in his final sentence: "The only way around these things is through them."

I wager, the ones who end up changing the world are the ones who commit to pressing on THROUGH whatever they face instead of finding a way to go around.

See you next year!

peace

m

“We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, will also reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Indeed only by myth-making, only by becoming 'sub-creator' and inventing stories, can Man aspire to the state of perfection that he knew before the Fall. Our myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily towards the true harbour, while materialistic 'progress' leads only to a yawning abyss and the Iron Crown of the power of evil.”

J. R. R. Tolkien

Here's to living lives that carry a twinge of the stuff of myth and legend in 2013. Here's to steering shakily towards the true harbor.

peace

m