Life Coaching

Confidence

2011-09-26T16:03:00.000-05:00

One's life is usually not perfect by any means, but it can be resourceful, artful, ingenious, inventive, and successful as long as we believe in ourselves and start at a young age developing our confidence. We must believe we are here for a purpose, a goal, an invention, and to give of ourselves to humanity. We must know that if we do not have confidence in our own abilities; no one else will. Balance is key. If we are confident; we are sure of one thing; we know who we are and where we are planning to go.

How exactly do we define "confidence?" The dictionary implies that Confidence is:

"belief in oneself, certainty (which means positive assurance), conviction, belief and credence." This contains only a small portion of what confidence is. Yet, these definitions give us plenty of words to describe how we should view ourselves if we are to tackle this thing called life in an appropriate way.

Why does one need confidence to live a life of success? Without "self confidence" we struggle to be who we are meant to be. If we are affected emotionally and lack confidence; we cannot focus on strong decisions, how to resolve problems, being effective in our presentations or believe in our convictions. If we self doubt; we are inclined to think that someone else can do it better than we can and this weakens our ability to perform successfully.

How do we resolve this lack of self confidence and become confident?

Rule number one: We must first remember that we are all unique. We do not have to be like anyone else to be confident and successful. Forget about being like someone else; it doesn't matter how good someone else is, it is about how good and self confident you want to be. Learning from others is key. The good, the bad and the ugly; knowing your desire is of course, to become what is considered as excellent. You might never be as "excellent as someone else," but you are not striving to be; you are striving to be the best you, and you alone, can be.

Rule number two: Never expect it to come all at once. It is oftentimes a learned behavior and it sometimes depends upon the circumstances of our life. If we are praised as children, when we reach adulthood, we will automatically be more confident. If we live in an atmosphere of peacefulness; we are likely to be more peaceful in adulthood. On the contrary; if we have not been given praise in our childhood, or live in a constant upset during our growing years, we have tendency to need more self discipline in growing our confidence to the level of being emotionally intelligent. Some humans have to grow up before they are ready, and experience hardships, difficulties, and pain early in life. Depending upon what these things are it can affect how one feels about their level of performance, and their quality of life. Loss in ones life can create a lack of belief in oneself, or a lack of confidence with fear that they are going to lose other things or everything. Of course this is not true. We must learn from loss and remember that all things in life are for our teaching, has a purpose and whether we understand it or not; it is for a reason, good or bad.

Rule number three: Be prepared to admit your weaknesses, yet believe that you and you alone can make your weaknesses, your strengths; if you choose. Dwell on the strengths but work on the weaknesses; we all have them even though sometimes they are not easy to see with the eye. We each know what our weaknesses are so we may as well fess up and deal with them. Someone who is actually confident will normally learn from criticism. They take the criticism and put a corrective plan into action without allowing resentment toward the critic. Our path to self confidence begins in our mind just like our goals, our hopes, and our dreams; nothing separates these because we must act on all of these mind things to make them a reality. Just saying I want or need to be more confident, does not bring it to fruition.

Rule number four: Dreaming about it does not bring it to pass. Reading about it will not make you do what is necessary to shine as individuals without an in-depth commitment to do what is necessary to live a life of confidence. This does not mean trying to outdo someone else. This is because someone with high emotional intelligence has confidence and they believe in themselves yet respects the wisdom and strengths of others. In the workforce today; employers are seeking those with emotional intelligence and confidence is one of the number one ingredients of being emotionally intelligent. In so many words; you do not have to try to outshine anyone else; you make your own course of action with a stable self assurance that you are where you are meant to be.

Rule number five: If one is seeking improvement in a career; they must educate themselves to become a leader, if leadership is what they are seeking. We gain nothing by being satisfied with old knowledge or old education; even though it was essential to get the job. Part of progress is being able to submit to change. Being up-to-date on what is changing in any work environment is absolutely necessary and then the road is paved for more self confidence. Leadership abilities come with responsibilities. One must be responsible for their own actions or no actions, their ability or inability to deal with failure, loss or defiance of others. It is not for someone who cannot be a team player, promote others, welcome new ideas from everyone and take the blunt for all mistakes. Confidence in oneself brings the ability to motivate, challenge, praise, contribute, and accept that someone other than self just might have a more efficient solution to a problem that can get the job done more adequately then yours.

"It is not who you are that holds you back; it is who you think you are not." Unknown

"Make the most of yourself; for that is all there is of you." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Let me never make the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted when I am contradicted." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Confidence come from not always being right; but from not fearing to be wrong."
Peter T. McIntyre

The best yet: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You are on your own and you know what you are. And, you will decide where you go." Dr. Seuss

It's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence. Paula Cole, "Me," This Fire

Not any of us know all there is to know about everything in life. This is just not practical. Yet we are confident that we can know a lot about many different things, and be intelligent, but still not all knowing. We must choose a specialty, something we have a passion for and something specific to our knowledge. It would be no fun, no satisfaction or bliss to having all of this to ourselves alone; we should have a purpose that will enhance other people's lives as well as our own. Living for ourselves only is not gratification in living life well; we must have the confidence within to share what we do know with others.

Life Coaching- Starting Today No Procrastination

2010-12-08T12:59:00.002-06:00

In this session of Life Coaching-Starting Today- No Procrastination is acceptable to fully enjoy life as it should be for all. When we put the brakes on; for whatever reason, we are missing out on more accomplishments. First we should know that every accomplishment is not going to be perfect. Believe that, accept it and know that you are human. There is nothing wrong with a person who does not get everything right the first time; not any of us do always. It is only by trial and error that we sometimes succeed and that is just part of any life. If we accomplished everything we started without any delay or struggle; we would not know how to sympathize with others or know how to work with problems and stumbling blocks.

Procrastination is something that occurs when we start thinking about something we need to do, yet put off what seems harder to do and start thinking of multiple other things we have to do before doing what we really need to do. Or, not do anything at all and then when we must get the hard thing done; we are full of anxiety, stress and anticipation because we have to get it done now....right? It amounts to putting something off that we have assumed in our mind, will be too tough to get done, will be too costly, is not really as important as we once thought it was, and sometimes just can't make ourselves do it. The issues which we Procrastinate about, can sometimes be detrimental to our survival.

Let's use the example of getting the car fixed. It just so happens that there are several things wrong with the vehicle, savings are short and other thing seem to be more important, in the mind that is. The brakes need shoes, the tire is wobbling, the window is not going up and down, the air conditioner is blowing cold air on one side and it is winter time. The cost is predicted in ones head, instead of the appropriate mechanic, air conditioning expert, or person who can give the accurate estimate. If this is put off too long; the car could become a danger to travel in and the issues grow instead of being eliminated. Now, we realize that most people realize that these issues should be taken care of, and they should have been when they occurred but, not all individuals have sufficient money on hand to do these kinds of things. Yet, it will probably cost more as the end result, than if the brakes had been fixed, before tire began to wobble as the tire wore due to the brake condition.

One must identify the cause of Procrastination in their own life. What makes one person procrastinate; may not be the same for another, as we are all different and think differently. It can possible be only in one area of our life that we procrastinate. We usually do not hesitate to eat our food which gives us nourishment and we might be better off sometimes, if we did procrastinate at times, instead of eating the wrong foods or eating too much of the wrong foods. Getting things done well and with quality results, putting it off hinders the aforementioned in most cases. What ever the problem is; we should identify it, work on it and resolve it as best we can. Fear, negative thinking, believing it will go away or just simply not being able to put the best foot forward can be some of the causes of Procrastination.

It may not be the car needs repairs; it can be that we need repair or maintenance, for instance take a course to become more proficient in our work, study to get a job in which we would love better than the one we have. Anything which hinders our improvement; physically, mentally, or socially, and whether it is a fixed asset, liability, or is tangible or in-tangible. Starting Today, we should do the right thing and let go of Procrastination. That is what Life Coaching is about; helping us see ways to improve what we might be lacking or that which needs more constructive behavior. It is hard sometimes to put things into prospective and decide that we will work with each issue in our life; as it comes so
that we do not get into the state of being bogged down, depressed
and full of anxiety and confusion. Notice the two pictures below.
We should try to stand like a mountain, firm, strong and without
wavering, yet flow like water, constantly, with calm and resolve.

Stand Like a Mountain

Flow Like Water

When we put things off until the last minute, we stand the risk of not being able to finish it properly and with quality. So if one has a essay to write; there must be research first, it must not be copied material and it must be thoughts and facts which prove it to be true. When one is in a rush; they cannot focus properly, they become full of anxiety, fear and insecurity that the job will not be finished timely, nor will it be quality material if jumbled in a non-constructive written format.

In Life Coaching today we learn that life is full of things we need to do on a daily basis. Yes, we must prioritize that which is most important but not Procrastinate when something seems too difficult or that it could be bad news. Procrastination is a bad word....it can stagnate us, keep us from being productive and fulfilled with our accomplishments.

In our goals for a better life, we should make sure we do not get Procrastination mixed up with constructive thinking before making decisions. They are two separate things and we should not make rash decisions or do something spontaneous without appropriate thought of the consequences.

Starting Today- No Procrastination is acceptable if we are to live our life in harmony and balance and we must remember in our Life Coaching that this is part of life responsibilities.

Life Coaching - What is it About?

2010-11-30T22:12:00.003-06:00

There is not anyone who is without "life" things which come our way 24 hours of everyday. Not any of us are immune to having issues that bring us wonder, resistance and confusion and that is simply the facts; most of us need someone at some point to talk to. That is what "Life Coaching" is all about.

Life Coaching is absolutely not about any person who has deep seeded emotional problems or anyone who might need a licensed professional. It really is about having someone to speak to, who may have more answers than you do. They understand the possible harm it could cause, if not talked about and resolved. It is about having somebody that has an aspiration and skill of helping others and to help those individuals who appear to be at the cross roads of making actions which could in reality affect their life forever.

Life Coaching is for all those who want to become "A Better You." It is for those who know that the most educated, knowledgeable and steady people; from time to time needs another individual who has the wisdom to merely "listen" to what they cannot tell anyone else. More than likely; it truly is for those who would not think of telling anyone else. It calls for a person who is merely a name to us; they do not know who we really are but they help us in deciding who we might be, if we choose.

Life consists of the yesterday, the now and tomorrow. We already know that we must never borrow trouble from tomorrow. We know that we should put yesterday out of our mind and live for today only. Is this the easy and simple road traveled? No, it is not and when we have made a handful of mistakes along the way, it definitely is sometimes hard to put into prospective why we must focus on today only. Sometimes having someone who's not attached to us in any way is more important than some may think. A great friend, relative or acquaintance probably knows too much about us and could not be non-biased and this really is when we need a Life Coach who can listen, coach, recommend and help us look inside ourselves to discover answers which were there all of the time.

A Life Coach looks at what they see from what they are being told; and give a professional evaluation based upon what they see from our actions. Not a précis of knowledge based upon having known us for a long time. Seems conflicting, doesn't it? Actually not, as they are focused on helping you observe what is really there within as sometimes, until we are fully aware of what we are portraying to others; do we actually may not know who we are.

Life Coaching looks at our individual habits, our views, our capability and our ability to concentrate on altering things which could possibly need shifting. We cannot develop our character exclusive of change to some area of our life. So before anyone can see the necessity to get a Coach or someone to talk to; they must see a necessity to alter something. It may be a desire to stop self blame for constantly making bad decisions after which construe ways to change the habit of not thinking before a decision is made. It is perhaps that an individual loathes a family member who fails to meet our expectations. It could actually be that an individual needs to keep their negative responses to themselves and thereby cause less friction in family, work and play.

It can actually be care we have about ourselves which we want to say it out loud to someone who will listen will complete respect and dignity without condemnation and fault finding. It will never hurt anyone to admit they know they have a need to have personal growth and a Life Coach.

Your Own Worst Enemy

2010-11-13T13:39:00.004-06:00

Life Coaching Help

Are you, Your Own Worst Enemy? Probably! Most of us tend to degrade ourselves worse than others do. Why? When we do something that we feel was inadequate, not sufficient, not up to par, way overboard, less than perfect, and without expertise; we badmouth ourselves. We become Our Own Worst Enemy. We want to make ourselves feel better by saying we know that we were these things mentioned; just in case someone else noticed and thereby we are ready with a self defeating statement. "Oh no, I know, I should have done this or that better." Then we feel better to some degree because we acknowledged we are less than perfect. We also sometimes carry the less than perfect feelings of ambivalence to a higher level and even take it to bed with us, causing sleepless nights and a mind of worry. Yes, this is an excuse to doubt ourselves in every way, not just in the not so perfect something we did on one occasion, but we can begin to doubt everything we do as being "good" enough.

Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

Instead of self defeating thoughts and harboring self pity; tell yourself the exact opposite:

I am at peace with who I am.
I am learning from my experiences.
Without failure or less than perfect situations; I would not grow into being a more accomplished human being.
I make mistakes sometimes, more often than I wish, but I am working on perfecting the flaws which need perfecting and face the facts that actually no one is "perfect."
If I need to progress further with self discipline; I will work on that, I will work to produce what is needed of me without badgering myself for not being perfect the first or second time.
I do not claim to know all there is to know, but I am always looking to improve the quality of all I do.
I feel good about what I have accomplished as I am aware that excellence take work and lots of it.
I know that I do not have to steal any show; I am who I am, not someone else and everyone should have a chance to shine, not just me.
I know that I have a lot of life balances; not just work and it takes a strong person to clearly know what is most important in life.
I know that sometimes I must make sacrifices, but I also know that it should not be sacrifices that would alter my quality of living.

When you turn out the lights at night, close your mind to the things of the day. Tell yourself you have done the best that you could possibly do for the day. Tonight is rest time and I will give my body, mind and soul, what it needs. I refuse to let the things of the day, cloud my mind so that I do not sleep. I will be refreshed come morning and what I need to do will be clear.

Being Our Own Worst Enemy is not healthy nor profitable for changing what we could possibly need to change to become more of what we would like to be. It limits us because it produces fear and disgust at our own actions. There are times when we need to know exactly what we are reaching for as well.

The most profound accomplishments start within us. If we believe in ourselves, we usually have the ability to accomplish more. What we think, is what we get. It really does not matter what someone else thinks. Most of the time, they are not paying attention anyway. If we believe we can, we usually can; improve, accomplish more, be more assertive, and productive. Perfect? No, striving to be perfect is a useless waste of time and uncalled for. We can't sit on the porch and criticize everything we do and wish we were more perfect or, we will find ourselves lacking in our ability to even start a task, project or whatever it is we need to do. If we can't start something; we can't finish it or even try to become better. It all comes down to being at peace with one little accomplishment at a time and knowing that all things come to those who take their time and wait but most importantly; know that; "You" can't be You Own Worst Enemy.

Life Coaching -Getting Yourself Motivated

2010-10-12T00:42:00.005-05:00

If you aren't motivated; you can't motivate others.

You are the only person who can motivate you; so here we are going to talk about Life Coaching and Getting Yourself Motivated. There are questions we need to ask and of course answers you will need to make honestly. If you are an individual who is not motivated; you are not seeking success and you have a problem if you are looking to achieve much in your life. Motivation is part of success and success takes work. Have you ever been around someone who always seemed like they were on top of the world and loved doing whatever they were doing? These are the people who have obviously, in some part of their life decided that they would get themselves motivated. It might not have been in Life Coaching - that they became Motivated; but they decided at some point in their life; life would be better with a positive and motivated outlook.

We know from being around people at work and other public places that a person who has motivation is easy to spot. For instance, when you enter a department store you will find the motivated sales person who meets you with a smile and a "may I help you?" If you say no; normally sometimes later; they will check on you again, just to make sure. The unmotivated sales person sometimes doesn't even offer a hello; much less a "may I help you?" Why the difference? Either the unmotivated person is unhappy with their job and needs a lot of "Life Coaching-Getting Yourself Motivated" session or a new job. The person who greets you and continues to offer help is not only looking out for his/her pay check but, also; you the customer.

The boss or leader of a group of people can't get a team motivated if they themselves are not motivated. If they drag in late every morning, have 10 cups of coffee, stay on the telephone and avoid the team member; they also need a class of Life Coaching-Getting Yourself Motivated. Plain and simply, to get the job done right; someone must be motivated. If the boss isn't motivated; he/she cannot expect the team to do as I say do. It will not happen; because they will do as they see the boss do....just as little as they can get by with.

Being motivated is probably in a sense a learned skill just like anything else. Some people indicate that they do what they do, because they have to; whether they like it or not. They hate their job, they hate working with the people they work with; they even sometimes hate themselves; which makes them officially unhappy in their life. Life shouldn't be lived by this method. We should love what we do, we should like the people we work with but sometimes it is not the people anyway; it is us. If we are not into what we are doing; job, career, stay at home Mom or whatever the daily life is; it will become boring and eventually we could get ourselves into a depressed state of doing what we hate. In Life Coaching-Getting Yourself Motivated; it is believed that one should find what makes them want to get up in the morning, every morning and tackle it with glee.

How to get yourself motivated depends upon you as well. You must decide what is missing or incomplete or if you are just at a point of needing change. If you have spent years educating yourself in a certain field or career; it is highly unlikely you can change careers and progress as quickly; if you are not education in the new field. This is when (unless you can educate yourself and work also) you might want to somehow seek, Life Coaching help and Getting Yourself Motivated rather than changing something that could cost you more in the long run. Usually it takes some time in any career to advance to the stage of increased earnings and being totally satisfied and secure in any position; even with years of training and education. But, there are times that it is better to stop doing what is making you unhappy and unmotivated than continue and make life miserable for yourself and everyone else as well.

As the old saying goes; one must "shape up or ship out" to be truly successful. Most cases shaping up can get us back to where we need to be to send the message to others that we like what we do and are motivated to change what needs to be changed. Life Coaching and Getting Yourself Motivated cannot help you love your job or whatever it is that you do. But, what is needed; is that you should look at the pros and cons of what you are doing, what is working and not working. Try doing things differently, if possible and try to feel motivated. Start thinking in a different light. See life as exciting and make it show through. This is like any positive mind set. As we tend to think; so are we. Motivation and enthusiasm comes from a positive mind set. But, we also must realize that most everyone gets a little bored at times and we then need to pinch ourselves and wake up.

Life Coaching - Forgetting Yesterday

2010-10-07T16:16:00.004-05:00

This Blog is about Life Coaching- to become a better You!

In today's lesson; Life Coaching - Forgetting Yesterday, we need to remind ourselves that yesterday is gone; flat out gone, and it will not be back again. Usually! If what left yesterday comes back; let's hope it is to your best advantage. It is up to us to forget yesterday, the loss, and those precious memories and keep on moving. Move on to what; my life ruined and I don't want anything but what I had; I will never have it again, poor me.... blah, blah, blah..... Does that sound familiar? My bet is that it is an untrue statement; unless of course that person does not want to go on living period. In Life Coaching- Forgetting Yesterday; we want to review how we hold the memories that give our soul courage and how we let go of the ones which "hold us back."

There is no fun being made here of loss of any kind; because even though loss is a part of life..we still must travel on and not let our losses overcome our gains. That is what Life Coaching and Forgetting Yesterday is about.

What does feeling sorry for ourselves do? Nothing but, put us in the dumps and sometimes into despair with deep feelings of rejection, and then depression. It doesn't matter if it is heartbreak, job loss, friend loss, puppy loss, or someone we love that left because God said it was time....it really doesn't matter. As long as we are living we must go on and face today with new grace and courage. On to where; is absolutely up to the person who feels that forgetting yesterday's loss is out of the question, and just too important to let go of. No Life Coach, friend or foe can tell you it is easy, but it is doable, with time and patience. It is a time to review who we are again and spring forth a whole new person. It can happen.

Life Coaching - the spouse that leaves:

This is not intended to seem insensitive and uncaring. In any loss there is a certain amount of self blame, self evaluation and feeling of insufficiency and embarrassment. This is especially true when it concerns one spouse leaving and there are children to raise, feed and clothe; without any warning. There is sympathy and care; there is a knowing that this is probably one of the most difficult times in any one's life. It is a fearful time, a time of trying to figure out what went wrong, when did it start downhill, what you did wrong, what you did right, how you loved and no one seemed to care. There are questions galore and the mind is in a tailspin. Can't sleep, can't eat, nothing seems important, nothing seems worth trying to go on...for; just trying to make it "one day at a time." Repeat after me; Just for today, I will be happy.

These feelings and conditions are relatively common for most individuals who have loved someone very deeply. There is really no hurt like this but.....time does heal all things. It take time and sometimes; a lot of it, but what will help in enduring this, is to get a mindset that first of all; this almost assuredly had nothing to do with you. You may have done everything right. We come out better though by realizing that most of us are lacking in something and this is probably the most appropriate way to become better as we move along. No one is perfect; we all get into a rut without even trying to but, nevertheless; it probably was not anything you did or didn't do. You must find your own peace again and it can be done.

When someone decides to leave; they want to make excuses and blame, but it is never the real reason. It is usually pressure from the other party; if there is another party and if you stand back and wait you will more than likely see that the move is something they will one day in the future....regret. There are just too many instances where this very thing as happened; but all too late it becomes clear they made a terrible mistake.

Life Coaching - when someone dies:

Not all yesterday's are to be forgotten; we want to cherish some of these memories and remember them as being part of what shaped our life into what it is. Be it family, friends and dearly beloved. That is why it is important to share and enjoy the important people in our lives and make sure they always know that we love them; not just on occasions but all the time. When loss comes by the death of a loved one; it can be some of the same feelings, depending upon who and why. It has been said that loss by death is much easier to face than a living loss. That might be true to a certain extent.

Death is something we have no control over; living loss makes us feel like we might could have changed things; if we had knows, by something we could have done differently or something we did not do. We sometimes look back and wish we had taken more time to let these people we lose; know they were special. It doesn't take but a few minutes to phone and ask someone, if their day is going well. We must remember to not have regrets; we must act as if today is our last day. A hug, a smile, a thank you, a bowl of soup and sometimes just a short conversation is all that is needed to warm some soul. At any rate; when we lose someone by death; it still brings us sadness but these good memories we want to keep to be comforted with when nothing else seems to work.

Life Coaching - the decline of Material Riches

When we lose material things; it can also bring feeling of defeat; which is another word for failure in our mind; but this is when we should have courage enough to realize that though we have lost something that makes our life better; we still have something better than a lot of other humans do not. A job loss can be quite devastating. With our economy today, it is really a big thing to lose your job. What one can do is try to improve their technical skills, their emotional skills and keep telling themselves; that this too shall pass...and it will. Usually when our material wealth is lost if we are searching for answers; we can find out that there are many, many things which are far more important than Material Wealth.

Learn to flow like water

Life Coaching Skills to Overcome:

remember first you must forgive and you shall be forgiven
remember that you are not by yourself; there are others who are in the same boat
remember that you can make it through one day at a time by getting up in the morning with a mindset that it will be a good day
remember that you do not have to change who you are; only the things you think needs changing
remember that we all have back sets sometimes and want to cry; it is okay, just cry
remember you can change another person; only yourself
remember you have a source of strength; keep feed that strength by thinking positive thoughts about yourself and other
do not blame yourself; forget about blaming anyone and just try to move forward
another person can only control you; if you let them, do not give them that power over you
no one is infallible; it okay to drift occasionally
give yourself a pat on the bad, you deserve it
do something special; a hair cut, a massage, do exercise, get a facial or your nails done
don't feel sorry for yourself
do not allow yourself to have too much time to think about yesterday
read a book, any book
learn something new
get someone to talk to that will listen without getting bored and talking about it to someone else
keep your debts paid on time; very important
believe in yourself, trust your inner gut
tell someone you love them
give another soul a hug; they might need it worse than you
keep in touch with old friends you haven't talked to in awhile
don't forget to pray, meditate or whatever your form of feeding your soul is
stand tall, hold your shoulders back and walk like you are wroth more money than Bill Gates has
learn something new, apply for a promotion, sharpen up your skills, be an excellent employee
do not just think that yesterday is gone; know it

Remember David and the giant

Life Coaching - Forgetting Yesterday Summary:

We are all worth millions; see yourself as being worthy. Know that even the sun burns if you get too much and that you must decorate your own soul and not wait for anyone to bring you flowers. You have the ability to move forward with grace and dignity. You and only you control your today....You can do it and that is what Life Coaching - Forgetting Yesterday is about.

Life Coaching and Empowerment

2010-10-05T13:36:00.002-05:00

Exactly how do we in Life Coaching and Empowerment come to a conclusion to what Empowerment really is? That is a good question and hopefully we can give some idea what Empowerment really means. Often this word is used with little or no specified meaning; or we have our own perception as to what it means. Example: the most common thought is just plain old power. Power by itself without the other needed ingredients does not specifically mean that we are doing something well. Why? Because one must use their power to the good of others and themselves.

The empowerment process in Life Coaching, is dependent upon two things. One, empowerment indicates that power can change. If power cannot change, and if it is basic in positions or people, then empowerment is not possible. So, if power can change, then empowerment is possible. Two, this is the idea that empowerment is dependent upon expanding. This is our common experiences of power rather than how we think about power. We must learn in Life Coaching -Empowerment the two differences before we can have it.

Sometimes we think about power as the ability to make other do what we want them to, without it being their own desires or interest. We already know if we have been in Life Coaching for awhile that often in the workplace, we can find some managers who think they have such authority as to believe; it is their way or the highway. This is not productive Empowerment in or out side of Life Coaching and is not a part of Empowerment. If one views power in this manner, then it appears unchanging or not changeable. Power exist within the context of a relationship between people or things. Power is not isolated or is it inherent in individuals. Since Power is basically created in relationships, power and power relationships can change. This is when in Life Coaching - Empowerment become a significant perception.

Often when we think of the word power we think of control or authority. The government has power...the IRS has power and yes they are dominating. In this study of Life Coaching and Empowerment, we will not focus only on these kinds of power as it will limit our ability to understand the true concept of Empowerment. In individuals, when we think we are so powerful over other individuals or trying to get power at another persons expense; this will cut us off from power.

In a general since here we are looking at Empowerment as a multi-dimensional social process that helps people gain control over their own lives; not someone else. This is the power or capacity to act upon issues that they feel as important.

An example: When Sarah Palin became John McCain's Vice President Candidate, she was unknown to all. Even though she had some success under her belt in Alaska, no one in most of America knew about it. Even though the party did not win the election; Ms Palin drew droves of people's respect and admiration because of her ability to be instinctive, genuine and plain old; "just herself". From this prospective; she was without hypocrisy and people love it, not only her physical beauty. She has had a lot of criticism and may have had some Life Coaching and Empowerment appointments; who knows? But, it seems that other people's opinion of her; gave her the empowerment to expand her life into other directions. It seems they could see the inside of this person as being someone who had authority to make things happen. Her power changed; it become wider, more valuable and popular. Everyone has their own opinion, but this brought Empowerment into this lady's life; who is now a millionaire; seemingly without much effort.

This Empowerment which Sarah Palin took control of; is it in a nutshell. She saw the chance to play upon her attributes and qualities and she went with, one step at a time. This is how it works with Life Coaching - and the Empowerment process. It appears those who are opposed to her power; are within themselves wishing for this power which they do not have. It will be astounding to watch as she goes forward.

In short; with Life Coaching and Empowerment is then the "process by which individuals and groups gain power, access to resources and control over their own lives. In doing this, they gain the ability to achieve their highest personal and collective aspirations and goals" (Robbins, Chatterjee, & Canda, 1998, p. 91).

People who are Empowered recognize and identify their own strengths and the strengths of others and this is also in relations to Emotional Intelligence. To be successful or empowered; one must realize that being Empowered does not give them the ability to stand above others in a dominating way. This is truly not Empowerment.

Power can sometimes not be good for some individuals as they forget where they came from and want to dominate the scene. They forget that with and in Life Coaching and Empowerment; one must stay humble. They must stay thoughtful of others and it stands true that real Empowerment of an individual depends upon that individuals ability to really understand; what Life Coaching and Empowerment really is.

References:
Understanding Empowerment

Empowerment Presentation

Success is What You Believe It Is

2010-09-18T15:04:00.001-05:00

Life Coaching - Success is What You Believe It is

It is common for us as humans to get confused in our efforts to understand what Success really is and it is only when we realize that Success is What You Believe It is; do we find contentment in what we are doing. It is not what someone else thinks is best for us; it is our own goals, ambitions and desires which makes our own plan worth following.

No one can make something really successful them unless it is their desire, their aspirations and their choices. Can you imagine taking on trying to build a sales business of selling something that you have no desire to sell? For instance; you dad was the greatest sales person with a lot of financial success. He was a person who enjoyed working in the field, approaching people daily, and talking to his hearts content. You, on the other hand, are more laid back; prefer to sit behind a desk, shuffle papers, put reports together and prepare the budget for the company. Finance is your things, you love dealing with numbers more than talking someone into buying something. Why would you opt for trying to follow in your dad's footsteps just for the sake of respecting his wishes?

What is wrong with that picture; you might question? After all my dad was successful in making lots of money and taking care of his family. He has lived an above average life and has sufficient retirement. Why would I not want to follow his footsteps and try for the same success? Nothing is wrong with the picture, if you are certain these are your aspirations and desires. Do you have the qualities that your dad had for getting people to close a sale? Does it excite you to confront people cold call? Do you have a knowledge of the product you are going to sell and is it something you believe in? Do you see yourself succeeding as your father did? Are you excited about his aspirations or yours? Are you sure this is your choice?

When we examine our motives for making decisions about our life's work; it is important that we fully understand that if we follow someone else; it is then up to us to accept the consequences if things turn out differently than planned. It is important to respect our parents and others who have influenced our life, but on the same note; it is equally important to respect our own abilities, desires and dreams. When we understand that we cannot ever measure our own Success by what someone else has done; we then understand that the road leading there, must be built by us and us alone.

Following in someones footsteps is not all bad, if it makes you happy, fulfills your dreams and brings you satisfaction and contentment. There are plenty of family businesses which have offered these satisfactions to those involved; but there are also times when it would have been better to make a break from the norm and tried something that brought more excitement and personal involvement. Something which sometimes is only achieved by making a break and determining that your aspirations take you to another place.

With that said, in Life Coaching -Success is What You Believe It Is. It can't be someone else dream. If one cannot feel entire, complete and happy to get to work each day or whatever it is you are doing; something is wrong. Following our own dreams sometimes is hard to do and finding what we need to do it. Sometimes we can't for various reasons; finances, or circumstances which are beyond our control. When these times occur one has to make the best of the situation and hopes for a brighter day to explore our dreams. But when deciding our life's work in our plan for success; we should not make the mistake of doing what makes others pleased and happy.

It is our life, our path, our journey and our end results; that leads us to where we feel most useful and happy. If you do not know that Success is What You Believe It is; you just might miss the boat...

Life Coaching - Completeness- How do We Reach it?

2010-09-10T21:39:00.002-05:00

these kinds of things are most valuable

We often hear others describe the awareness of completeness in their life or their yearn for the feeling of being complete, and this brings me to the question. Completeness; How Do We Reach it? A lot of times we yearn for those things which really are a little far fetched. Sometimes we already have what we yearn for and do not realize it and then again, we want what we can't have and thereby feel incomplete. If we were to take the times to consider exactly what we are wishing for and ponder our most felt desires; we might find that bliss lies somewhere beneath all the outside things. We then may have the answer to our questions.

"You have everything you need for "complete" peace and total happiness right now." by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Let me just say here and now that I respect his writing and his bold portrayal of the fact that we are what we think. I have read lots of his books and I have heard him speak on television. I wish I had his in depth knowledge, but here you can find my humble thoughts.

Complete: from the dictionary thesaurus it is described as total and not lacking. All, entire, exhaustive, full, thorough, accomplished, finished, WHOLE and PERFECT... there are more if you want to check....

Let me ask another important question, right here and right now... do you feel that you are all or any of the above, at this moment and do you expect to ever feel these feelings.....completely? Should you feel these feelings completely?

Let me give you my own personal perception of Completeness- How Do We Reach it? Feelings are awareness, an idea, an impression of what we have of something. As with anything else in life; we are all different in how we feel, not only how we act. Our feelings of completeness are perceived the same way as everything else. We each have a different level of feeling compensating or of feeling gratification. We each see differently when reviewing what is most valued in life. Is there different levels of feeling complete? Again, it depends upon the individual not many individuals. One individual may feel total fulfillment from being blessed to live in America. (Especially someone who has lived in a country where they were not free). Another may find total bliss from having good health, a good job, an excellent salary, and a wonderful family. Someone else may think that having money and lots of it and expensive things, brings completeness and makes them feel "valuable."

It seems that most of us should feel more complete than what we do; by simply looking at how fortunate we are compared to some person who lives under the bridge with no food to eat and clothing to wear. We forget and think we are so above such beggary. We seem to be looking for something magnificent that will blow us away and send us to our highest level of notoriety. Are we satisfied with the simple things? I think not. We are constantly longing for more, bigger, better, and perfect things.

Sometimes, some of us want a perfect marriage, a perfect family, a perfect house, a large perfect bank account and a perfect life. Without all these things.....we feel incomplete and a failure.

"The feeling of completeness, contentment and finding pleasures from our life; comes from being satisfied from within. "

This is not anything that you haven't heard before; it is not new, it is old, but nevertheless it is a reminder that we sometimes need again. If you aren't complete, full, whole, satisfied, accomplished, or feel entire within your soul or within you....you will not feel complete... the outside "things" which we possess does not make us complete; it is the satisfying of the soul.

I am reminded of a book by Norman Vincent Peal which quoted the following:

"Man might possess everything tangible in the world and yet not be happy (or complete), for happiness (or completeness) is the satisfying of the soul, not of the mind or body."

by William George Jordan

Life Coach-Knowing When We Need To Change

2010-09-10T16:48:00.035-05:00

In Life Coaching - it is never too late to Change

We all have them. What you might ask? A time, when we should have Known We Needed To Change. Is it ever too late to change? No, never! It is better late, than never and in fact change is a discernible aspect of life that tell people we are in tune to who we are. It is a wonderful thing to see we need change and then progress to making it happen.

"It is inevitable that most humans have a need for change in some interim, some phase or some point of their life."

We are born beautiful babies; we grow into wandering teenagers, become adventurous young adults and when we arrive at full adulthood, sometimes we have developed habits and ways that give us a need to change. It is common to all and we all experience life thing that help us develop precarious, imprudent and recalcitrant behaviors which can and will cause our present and our future harm if not corrected and changed.

What is Knowing When we Need to "Change" exactly? Does this mean that we are bad? Absolutely not; don't let the word confuse you. Change is simply: "something made differently." Alteration, addition, advancement, correction, revolution, development, transformation, and many other words per the dictionary.

Most in touch individuals who want to succeed in life are looking for ways to become more productive individuals and are not afraid to try and transform themselves in ways to get what they need or want to progress as a human being. They do not let the judgement of others stand in the way, and they realize that it is up to each individual to take a look at themselves and their life, for their life's sake and for their future.

We are constantly growing into being different individuals each day (one way or the other) we are on this good green earth. We either make positive changes with each day or we continue possibly down an unrewarding pathway. We either learn from our life actions which may not be profitable to us; or we keep doing the same things over and over again. We do not stay the same, day after day, after day. Well, at least we are not suppose to. This means simply that with each day we should be learning and growing as an individual and hopefully for the betterment of our own soul. Staying the same always may sound like it is the right path to take (if we are not harming ourselves or anyone else). My question would simply be; are you where you want to be at this life stage, and if you are not; what do you need to change to progress further? Fear can make one stagnant.

Example: Jane (not a real person; although like so many people) is a decent person and a nice looking woman, she has not thought about herself this way but, she is. She has average intelligence, a strong desire to succeed and has made a lot of friends along the way.  It appears that she possesses a lack of confidence in her abilities in some areas of her life. Why? Even she does not know because she has succeeded in making above average income, had the necessary business advantages that a lot of people do not have and has experience success in so many aspects of her career.   She has actually had success but it seems it has never been enough and for the most part not even recognized how much success she has had to begin with. It seems that she is always searching for the right job, the right salary, the right house to live in, the right city and the right excuse for her making so many changes. Some good changes and some not so good and some a complete failure or let's say, some that she might have been better off without making and lessons learned seemed just too hard.

She often had the tendency to live in the moment; not thinking about the day when her life could change drastically nor when she might not have the same opportunities. When I asked this person what she had missing; she could not specifically tell me. There is a list of reasons which could have influenced her decisions and actions, but even when she had a few wake up calls; she was unable to recognize that she needed to change something within her life.  Now, later in her life she feels distraught, angry and completely displeased with her life and mainly for the repeated behaviors which is now causing frustrations which could have been simply altered. She could not see the need for change.

Does this sound familiar? For so many it does and this is why it is so important to realize that no one is perfect. No one lives their life through without at some point needing to step back and take a long hard look at their life.  Humans have a tendency to overlook the not so smart things in our own lives but judge others for making the exact same mistakes.

Therefore we keep a watchful eye!

"Wisdom is the ability to see our own reactions to life may be an endangerment to our future. It is knowing that even sunshine burns if you get too much and that we must act proficiently, cautiously and with great thought to every decision we make in our life."

It also mean... "Knowing When We Need to Change."

Life Coaching -Taking Responsibility For Our Actions

2010-08-18T14:05:00.003-05:00

In Life Coaching and any part of one's efforts to become a better individual; it is important to accept that "Taking Responsibility For our Actions" is the most appropriate thing to do and Life Coaching will help anyone who dares to seek it.. Why is it that for most humans; it is hard to take responsibility for their actions, there is resistance, especially when things turn out bad? Yet, it is easy to take the credit when we make the right decisions or something outstanding occurs. Humans being humans! We all want to make sure that everyone knows when we do something right, but we shy away from saying; I screwed up! What can I do to correct this horrible mess?

Life is full of so much learning about things in general as well as what makes us tick and why we do the things we do. In this part of Life Coaching and Taking Responsibility for situations that turn out hurting us instead of helping us; we do not determine that it is always an easy task. It is positively hard, but unless we can stand up and claim our mistakes in life, we loose our ability to know what we are doing that is right and what we are doing that is wrong. We first do not want to admit we made a mistake. We then do not want to look bad to others. We can't get to any kind of neutral ground if we can't see our errors as learning tools to help us grow into making better decisions and weighing the pros and cons before we act on something.

It is said that to error is human and yes, we are human, but in Life Coaching and taking responsibility is also part of growing in our human state to becoming a better person.When a person decides to do something that is not morally right and it become common knowledge to those around them; they begin to find a person to blame it on. Sometimes, it is family, occasionally it is a friend or something just something other than themselves. It can begin with the person saying their childhood was not satisfying, their spouse did not give them the attention they need or they have no time for themselves. Whatever the excuse is for making the mistakes that cost us not only embarrassment, but also causes someone else pain and doubt; there is still only one true way to get over these things and that is to admit we are responsible for our own actions. Bottom line....no one can make us do anything.....when we make a decision to act upon something...it is our final decision that makes us do it. We decide, no one else controls our actions but us.

As the old saying goes; the truth hurts! The next important truth is; "the truth shall set you free." When we take responsibility for our actions, it means we are living in truth with ourselves and we know that our own behavior is what shapes our life; not someone else. Life Coaching would not do us any good if we refuse this one truth. Our own choices is what makes us happy or unhappy. When we make a habit of doing things which are irresponsible and inconsistent with positive results; then it is up to us to change what we are doing that makes us unhappy and irresponsible.

The blame game is also irresponsible and childlike. It gets us no where fast because if we do not accept it is us who is making our life unstable, unhappy, or unsuccessful.....we will continue doing the same old things and blaming the same people who actually have nothing to do with our decisions. Being happy, successful or satisfied with our life is up to only one person. The "I" person.

What we should ask ourselves:

Why did "I" make that mistake?
Why do "I" try to blame someone else?
How can "I" change the need to look before I leap?
Why do "I" make decision when I know the consequences may not be what I need?
How can "I" make my own life better?
Why am "I" making the same mistakes over and over?
Why have "I" not been able to change my life up until now?
What am "I" looking for that "I" can't find?
What am "I" going to do to change the way "I" have been living my life?
How do "I" start taking responsibility for my actions?

When we step up to the plate of accepting our own faults, we can begin changing the things that need to be changed in order for us to be at our best in life. Change is never easy, but we know that living life well is not that easy either. We are going to have roadblocks, mountains, valleys and sometimes it feels like the gutters in life. But, if we choose the straight forward life and take responsibility for all our actions and simply decide that we will change for ourselves and no one else, we will immediately feel better about our life. After all that is why we seek Life Coaching to help us go forward quicker and to see what is there; that we ourselves might not see.

It should be our own choice to start the process of Life Coaching and Taking Responsibility for Our Actions. We will become a better, more equipped person to handle all of life's challenges if we do so.

Emotional Intelligence - How to Improve

2010-05-25T14:13:00.009-05:00

To be truly successful in anything; we must first discover who we really are! We cannot be Emotionally Intelligent without knowing who we are.
Need to get more Emotional Intelligence? Let's talk about some ways that we may can get to a higher EI status within our life. This is for everyone; not just the leader but it is very important for those who want to progress with their professional life period....anyone.

When thinking about any leader in a company; most upper management wants someone that they know has the ability to lead, to discipline, to foresee when something is not going as planned and knows what to do in case of an emergency. They want someone who is going to save the company dollars and cents and they want someone with integrity and loyal.

The latter two characteristics that we mentioned is more or less the part that is taken for minimum qualifications for any job; meaning you gotta have integrity and loyalty...even if you are lacking other Emotional Intelligence....you just have to be genuine and loyal. They do not need you as an employee if you can't be loyal to the company and work with principle.

Most people have part of Emotional Intelligence; if not all the characteristics. Those who have somehow developed their skills to employ all attributes; let me say, I would want them on my team. But, for those of us who need to improve and grow some more; here is how we are going to do it:

Self Evaluation: We start with looking at ourselves and learning who we really are.

What exactly does this entail? Who are you really? Do you really know? You can't really manage others or be a leader without knowing who you are and know that you are not out for just YOU. Have you ever really looked within your character to see what you might could improve? How do you respond to others? How do you react to other people's annoying behaviors? How do you relate to other peoples mistakes? How do you react to stress? How do you react to disappointment? Do you make fast decisions? Do you think things through before making a decision? Do you rush to judgement before knowing all the facts? Can you put yourself into another person's moccasins? Are you judgemental instead of trying to understand? Do you care about other peoples feeling, desires and needs? What are your weaknesses? Do you accept that you are not perfect and that everyone needs improvement in some areas? Can you look within; with an honest evaluation? Do you think that you could be a better person?

This is a lot of questions to be answered by you and you alone. I am sure you know what the right answers are; especially if you have read Emotional Intelligence; part one.

Working environment and/or social environment.

Are you the cool cat that needs all of the attention? Do you like being in the spotlight? Do you want other peoples praises more than you like to give praises to others? Are you the loud mouth who wants to be at the center of everything; without giving anyone else the chance to shine. Character that Shines has the ability to sit back; remain assertive, but still be humble and modest. Being humble and modest with our accomplishments does not mean that we do not have self confidence. Character that Shines is one who is self confident yet able to let another person stand out above them. This person doesn't need anyone to brag on them; they are secure in who they are and what their endeavors are. They are not seeking any one's approval, yet they have the ability to give their approval and encouragement to others. They are first to see that to get the most out of a team; is to everyone the chance to exploit their abilities. All some people need is a change to show their potential; because we all have it tucked somewhere within.

Taking responsibility for actions.

It is really important to be able to see our mistakes and learn from them. As we have already concluded; not any of us are "perfect." I wish!!! If we hurt someone we should have the Emotional Intelligence that we have done something inaccurately and apologize. This is not a weakness; it is indeed a strength. So many people hate to apologize and men have a lot of problems with this, I think more than women. This shows that you are compassionate and care about other people and how they feel and how you are relating to them. You can't pretend you haven't made a misjudgement or mistake. You can't play the blame game for an error if you are the one who has made the error or given the order. If someone does something you have instructed them to do; it is not their fault, should the results not be what was intended. In any situation; a leader is responsible for the team, regardless of how the results are affected...good or bad.

Learning how not to react...

This is a step in all aspects of life that probably needs attention for all of us. Relationships of any type are better guarded if one or both parties know how to control their responses and reactions. THINK and weigh the fact before giving a rebuttal. Work relationships are as important, because when someone makes an error; they are humiliated already, so what is it going to matter if there is a wrong reaction from the person in charge or any other team member. It cannot change the outcome or what the issue is. Thinking clearly and with a positive reaction, is more productive. Remembering it could be you; is the best reaction and finding the best resolution with as little of commotion as possible, is far more profitable to the company.

At the end of each day; we will know that we have accomplished our goals, if we know that our daily task are finished as they were defined, made some improvement in our own personal growth and Emotional Intelligence and that we have not offended another human.

Life Coaching - Emotional Intelligence

2010-05-25T11:46:00.007-05:00

Life Coaching

There is nothing that is more desirable than to be Emotionally Intelligent and this post is going to help us figure out what we need to do to accomplish more of this in our life.

There are those people whom we are acquainted with either on the job, at Church, where we shop and sometimes a friend who seem to have their ducks in a row, so to speak; but let's say it intelligently. People who seem to have it all together and stay calm, cool and collected all the time. They are people that other people like to confide in, talk to and work with, because they are great listeners and supporters. They know how to react or should I say; not to react, when someone else might fall over laughing or roll their eyeballs in disgust; if something other than the ordinary occurs. They know how to calm others who are frightened, upset and worried; they simply know what to say, how to say it and when to say it or when not to say anything. Gee, it just seems like we should all be born with this wonderful virtue and be so together. Well, just in case you haven't notices; we aren't always born with as much of Emotional Intelligence as we might like to have. So you see this is exactly why we have the need to get to the quality of being "Emotionally Intelligent." Of course, only if we choose to.

It is determined that these people are true to themselves; and review themselves as honestly as they do others. They have an ability to make wise decisions and when they should listen to their inner self for decisions. It seems they have the ability to take criticism well and when they do receive it; it is clear they know when and how to use it to their advantage and help improve their work.

Who does this kind of person sound like to you; a guidance counselor, a teacher, a doctor, a psychologist someone who is going to specialize in helping others? Not necessarily these title specifically, nope; this is for anyone who wants to be a better person and become more successful. Emotional Intelligence is beginning to be a part of professional success in the work place, any leader or any person and is being used as a tool when companies want to hire the best quality of performers possible. Decision makers affect the bottom line of any company. If the right decisions are not made at the right time and in a decisive manner; something is going to fall short and it can make or break a company. If you think exclusively about the above qualities; these are the attributes that all leaders should possess.

From looking into this key component to hiring successful performers; it is noted that Emotional Intelligence is as important to the company as technical abilities and therefore when looking to improve our personal performances; this should be a part of it.

There are other attributes which are evident for the Emotionally Intelligent person. It seems in reviewing different information on this subject that people in the work place love to work with this person because they are positive, they are great in a team environment. They know how to handle stress and do not make rash decisions. They have the ability to make decisions for the betterment of the company; not impulsive decisions. In fact they do not make decisions on a flash. They take their time and they weigh the odds and make sound decisions. They do not get angry or upset in stressful situations. They have the ability to look at the problem and find a way to fix it. They are excellent decision makers and they know when those "gut" feelings are right. They have integrity and loyalty in all situations which of course, is always necessary for employment in any field.

Emotionally Intelligent individuals are usually successful with most things they do. They work so well with others in that they promote everyone, not just themselves. They want the team to perform with excellence and they are highly productive themselves; not waiting on someone else to do the work. These people love challenges and feel excited about performance. They enjoy making other individuals feel good about themselves; they do not wait for someone to give them the glory of a job well done. The job must be done and they know that a team effort is better than a one man show.

When broken down, it seems it all falls into these category:

Self Awareness is key component
Self-Regulation
Motivation
Empathy

They know themselves very well. In other words their emotions do not rule them. They are controlled and have the ability to know how their actions affect others.

Life Coach - Taking Responsibility

2010-05-24T16:21:00.002-05:00

It seems to be easier to play the blame game in most of life's situations; rather than taking responsibility for our own actions and this is what this post about Life Coach- Taking Responsibility is about.

Taking the blame for our actions; gives us more creditability!!!!

It usually sounds somewhat like this: It is totally not my fault. I would not have acted as I did; if so and so and so. I would have done things differently if so and so had not pushed me to. I am not totally to blame as I acted out of hurt. If they had only listened to me...if I had only felt loved; if only I had been richer, more beautiful and if, if, and if.

I am not one to sugar-coat....much. So, here it is, as softly as I can say it. All humans are responsible for their actions at all times. Not they, him, her, or anyone else. Sorry, but I can't think of any other way to say this and it is probably the best, because we each must take our own actions seriously and know that only we can make the difference in how we feel in the end. In short, it makes us look weak, when we are unable to react to the things that bring us change.  We are responsible for what we eat, what we wear, what we drive, what we live in and yes; how we act.

Controlling our actions and responses...not always easy...but...

Controlling our actions and our responses is not always easy; I will acknowledge that without much thought. I too, have a problem sometimes with making sure my responses and actions are reviewed by others as having; "Emotional Intelligence".   It is part of personal growth and acknowledging that we and only we are responsible for our emotional reactions.

Life is Unfair...sometimes...it just is...

Yes, life is not always fair and I don't think that I have ever heard anyone say that it is. This is the part that we have no control over. This is the part that we could say; if life had not thrown me a curve. But, everyone has curves and it is not appropriate to blame life because it we must live it; with hope.  We are going to have our feelings hurt, and lose someone we love before our time expires. Everyone is not going to like us or think we are grand. It just doesn't work that way; nor was it meant to be that way. We may have our discomforts of life; we will have pain, illness and sometimes disaster but we still have a choice of how we respond to these kinds of things. We can't blame, anyone; it is life.

The Solutions...

I empathize and I do understand how we can get off tract with our actions and responses to our life. Yes, it is pretty much human to want to blame others or things which are not going well for us; when we get hurt and react inappropriately. Let me just say this; nothing can change some things, absolutely nothing. Only time heals some things and that is not an isolated discovery that I have privy to.

When we become aware that while we live in a world of what is sometimes chaos; we can still make peace within our lives by being conscious of how we let life situations influence our reactions and responses. We can't be unfair to ourselves and let our emotions take over and we can learn more when we are willing to stay healthy and Take Responsibility for our everyday actions. Life Coaching can always help; if we let it.

Life Coaching- Finding What Works

2010-05-21T16:10:00.003-05:00

Finding what works.....

Getting unstuck is one thing but Finding What Works and an alternative to what has been causing you dissatisfaction in your life might be another in our Life Coaching Study- Finding What Works.. If you have decided that you are not unhappy with yourself but you are unhappy with the satisfaction that your life brings...let's see where we reach for these ideas....and how to Find What Works better.

You have been living your life in the same outline as you always have lived it, and there is a way to find out what might work at little better. It is probably a good idea to make a list of what is boring you to death and decide what isn't working anymore. What can you do to make it better?

Any routine that we do day after day, year after year can make life boring. When we are looking for something to make life work better, be more significant, meaningful and fun; we have to measure what we are doing now. Whether it be our home life, our career, our spiritual self or anything else that might need some adjustment; it may not necessarily be what we are doing. It may be how we are doing it. We have to work at finding what works better.

Take a challenge; start taking the kids to school by going a different route. Find another route to work. Prepare a different recipe for dinner. Instead of buying the same old things at the grocery; try new recipes for an entire week. Get enthusiastic about every detail of your life and try working on ways to improve what seems unchallenged, and a bore. Plan a surprise time for your spouse that isn't routine. Do some exercise for an hour with a hot shower and time alone afterwards. Change your bed with fresh linens and put a candle by your bed; and read some chapters in a motivational book before going to sleep. Take time out to be thankful for your many blessings because we all have them as there are many others who are less fortunate than we might be.

If work is boring; maybe it is time to take a look at where you stand at work. Are you in the position you want to stay at? Have you given your best and progressed to the level that best suites you? You must Know How To Find Your Own Success. Are you challenged at work? Have you met your full potential? Would you like to have a promotion? What can you do to change where you are at work that is so boring. Enthusiasm is key to being satisfied at work. Are you anxious to get to work and perform each day? Are you thinking about something else while you are at work? The latter is not a way to feel accomplishment much less success at the work place. Being in the now; is important at work, at home and at play. One cannot dwell on anything but the project at hand to fully be successful with it. If you have your mind on work at home; someone at home is going to suffer the consequences; probably your children and spouse. If you have your mind on your personal life at work; your employer is taking the heat.

Make priorities; most people know what should be most important. If we have trouble at home; it is hard to accomplish our task at work; but sometimes, work is an outlet to conquer something that may be more challenging. Give your best to whatever you are having difficulty with. When we putting ourselves into whatever we are doing; we will naturally have better results. Be in the now; work in the now and live your everyday life in the moment. Think about the very minute you are in. You cannot add to or take away anything about your life from yesterday or what might be tomorrow.

Change the way you are doing things and find what works. Life Coaching Explained

Life Coaching- Still Stuck

2010-03-18T18:28:00.004-05:00

S T I L L S T U C K.....Life Coaching- Still Stuck

The last post asked the question; "Are You Stuck?" I feel that we probably need to address some issues that arise when we are stuck and simply do not realize it.

Every now and then it would be rather important that we listen to our inner voice to see if we are in tune with what we are doing and where we are going or if we are stuck in our own little world. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut and we grow totally comfortable, yet seemingly unfulfilled. Our life is okay but we just aren't doing anything worthwhile it seems. We don't know where to start or know what we need to make things better and in fact we just seem to be frozen where we are. We seem hopelessly stuck where we are and actually feel we don't have anything to tap into; to change things. How do we begin and what do we need to do? We are tired of this finally, but we can't find the answer....We can't do this, we can't do that, all because we do not know what to do, but we are lacking .....something.

Sounds to me like this person, whom ever they are is needing some good old bona fied courage to take a look at the following:

exactly what in your life is working
what is not working
what is fulfilling and works like a clock
what is not fulfilling that you have to do
what are your accomplishments
what would you like to accomplish
what do you want to feel
what is most important
who is most important
why are you feeling deprived
is there a chance that you are just bored
do you need to change your routine
what is your biggest issue
has it always been an issue
what is making it an issue
do you just need a vacation
how do you propose to change things
do you have any ideas how to change things
only you can figure out with the help of someone who is not attached to your situation; what it is that needs alteration

I would say that you are Stuck in your own little conforming world and need to pry yourself from the rubble of the disaster. You appear to have made the rules, and you stick to those rules and have this fear that if you do otherwise you might be in deep despair. Yet, you are unfulfilled because you aren't living your life to the fullest...maybe....

Having certain parameters to follow is not all bad because it takes discipline of sorts to manage a family, a career, taking care of yourself and possibly aging parents. If some of this is somehow screwed up, you need to figure out what it is and change course.

What are the priorities

This is what they should be....

your spiritual self -if you are not in touch with your own inner soul-spirit, you cannot be in tune with what you need otherwise for even your family
your family, children and husband, your parents
your career

Breaking this down a bit you have to know yourself. You can't be in touch with your spiritual self, your soul if you do not know who you are and we have talked about this earlier. We seem to get caught up in making everybody else happy so we have to decide if we are happy and try to eliminate that problem, one step at a time and then we can see what else is wrong. If you are not happy with "you"; you must know why. When you get yourself to the happy stage; you can then see clearly to define what it is that you need to do to change the rut in your life.

This part of Life Coaching is essential to growth...get out of the rut or from between something that is dragging you down.

Life Coach- Are you Stuck?

2010-03-02T15:18:00.007-06:00

*click picture to enlarge

Intelligently, I hope, I am going to ask you if your are stuck? In this session of Life Coach - Are you Stuck; you probably need time to think about it for a moment, so please do. What I mean by this is; are you living your life on automatic, routine and without even knowing what you are doing minute to minute? You are going about your life as if you know it by heart and you probably do, but what could you be missing? If you are...let's get unstuck! Of course if you are happy while being stuck....then you are happy and do not need anyone to tell you otherwise.

What are some ways that we can be stuck in our life and not even recognize it? Okay, let's see....

you are in the habit of making wrong decisions
you are in the habit of being negative
you are in the habit of being too nice
you are in the habit of not taking care of yourself; mentally and physically
you are in the habit of being in a bad mood
you are in the habit of pretending you are happy
you are in the habit of "always" pleasing everybody else
you are in the habit of not letting yourself need anything
you are in the habit of keeping your emotions inside
you are in the habit of failing yourself......

We could very well name a hundred or more of these habit that we humans get into and that is why we are stuck. We do it for so long and we then we think it is a natural state and if anybody questions it...they are crazy.

Let's start with making decisions and how those might be playing out in your life. If you are continually making everybody but you happy...you are continually making bad decisions. Life is not totally about pleasing the world and forgetting about yourself and for that matter; how can you help anyone else if you are neglecting yourself and your needs. Your first stop daily should be you. Even if you have to get up in the morning 30 minutes early to read or exercise and that means, exercising your mind, body and soul. If you are not in harmony with your full self which includes your spiritual self; you don't know who you are fully and you don't know where you are headed. Yes, you have a soul and it is the part that tells us if when we are making a mistake or that give you a quirky feeling when we lie....yep...at some level we lie...if no more than to our self.

We women have a tendency to pretend that everything is alright whether it is or not...habit..trying to please because it improper to act ugly or not like a lady. Stop pretending that all is well if it is not. It is not making you healthy. Someday it will show up as an ulcer or something else. You can still be ladylike and voice your opinions and concerns. In a relationship; it takes two to work at it and I just read a quote that fit is so well...."a journey (life) is like a marriage, a certain way to be wrong is to think you control it." John Steinbeck..... that would be any one's first mistake. Marriage, raising children, managing older parents, managing finances and managing the home period...takes unity and both partners. I am not a martyr and neither should you be. Being saintly would be okay if we lived in this perfect world, but we are not in the Garden of Eden...

Keeping our feelings and emotions inside may make you look stronger than everybody else but I am a firm believer that doing this habitually will bring actions and accountability, in one way or another. When we hide our true feelings we harbor resentment and resentment can turn into much harsher things like disgust and maybe grudges that aren't being settled.

We all get stuck and simply put; it is not the place to be if we are to achieve what we want in life and that is a fulfilled life. Not anyone can or should forget about who they are or their own basic needs to survive only for someone else. No one is suppose to believe we are here to serve others all the time, no question for in serving others we also reap rewards beneficial to our being, but on the other hand, we can't forget how to live for ourselves and maintain an appropriate balance of the good life for us. Taking a walk is not selfish, spending 15 minutes of down time is not selfish, writing in a journal is not selfish. Believing you are worth it is not selfish.

There are many ways to be stuck....it can be in professional life, our personal life and in our spiritual life. It can be that we do not even realize it so we take a look at how we are living and we review the status quo to see if we need to break loose and get unstuck. This is progression in Life Coaching.

Life Coaching - The Journey

2010-03-02T11:45:00.008-06:00

This journey, any journey can be realized if we seek the calm, the beauty and the peaceful feeling that this setting portrays!

Life Coaching- The Journey

When we are born we begin The Journey and we continue on that journey until we are no longer here. It is like any other journey we make; we prepare ourselves mentally and physically. When we are children, we are taught the good life by our parents and we develop our character and create our well being by how we act, react or respond to the life things. It is during The Journey - we learn.

It depends upon how our knowledge has been instilled, as to how we react to our life experiences. We know that we gain an abundance of life experiences along the way and we need to believe that nothing in life is truly unbearable; only if we let it be. I know this is a tough subject as there are life things that sometimes catch us off guard and throw us for a loop and this is when we begin another journey…the journey to performance, again.

It is in our recovery on The Journey; that we sometimes need assistance to perform comprehensively again. No, I am talking about being mentally disturbed or sick, but we are just not back to living life in the moment without thoughts that make us feel inadequate and make us less productive.

Number One: Mind over matter, conscious over non-conscious. No, there isn’t an easy way and in fact one has to make up their mind from today forward, I will see myself as I am, not as this experience has made me feel. As a man thinks; so is he…we cannot think too much of ourselves but, we can think more about who we are, as most of us usually do not. When we started The Journey we were too young to know about some of life things but, you must know tht you are a creation of good, you were meant to be happy, you deserve to have blessings and you are important to many people. Believe in yourself and remember that regardless of what has happened; it is probably not your fault and The Journey will get better.

Number Two: Admit your shortcomings and if it is your fault; admit it, take courage and move forward. Stop dwelling on the past; we are going forward we do not want to talk about the past; it is done, over and will not be repeated again.

Number Three: Speak to yourself with authority and self assurance. Give yourself some slack. ---- I am positive, I will have what I need to make the days ahead happier. I am good at my job, I am a good friend, a good mother, a good employee, and I am just good--- Do not listen to the negative voice, create a positive self language that will help you feel stronger to tackle your new life; whatever it is and know that from now on your journey will be brighter.

So many times in our life we get up to our necks in self pity…we have all done it…everybody does. Oh me….why me…. It does not matter what has happened or is happening; someone, somewhere has faced it before you probably. They made it out of the rain and they are better than they have ever been. It is not what we are experiencing; it is how we deal with it…Straighten you shoulder, walk like you just won a million dollars…who knows you might just do it!!!! Banish the negative and begin the positive on The Journey.

Some Journey Thoughts

“If all difficulties were known at the outset of a long journey, we would never start out at all.” - Dan Rather

“There are many trails up the mountain, but in time they all reach the top.” - Anva Seton

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one stop.” – Confucius

“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” --John Steinbeck

Self Quotes

“If we do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.—Napoleon Hill

“Much of your pain is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.” – Kahlil Gibran

“This above all; to thine own self be true”. –William Shakespeare

Life Coach- Do you Fear

2010-02-26T15:37:00.003-06:00

Life Coach- Do You Fear?What do you Fear? Do you fear the cat will bite your nose? I like the picture because it creates an example of the unexpected. Here this person stands, probably trying to pet the kitty and out of the blue the kitty bits their nose. It is kind of like life in general, you are trying to help someone and bam; it backfires.

This story relates to something important we need to realize.. it starts, like this: "I remember getting a young lady a really nice raise; she was working under my watch and I liked her aggressiveness and thought she had potential. She seemed to have the qualities of making an excellent employee. Lo and behold, she began to spy on me trying to get something on me to get me fired; because someone had asked her to. She was not the only villain but that is another story. I am trying, this person said, to put this behind me but it seems that every time I am trying to help someone; it back fires."

It is easy to be afraid because there are times that the good things we try to do will turns out to be the things that just cause us more problems. We get an unjust reward for trying to do good things. Injustices like this cannot be your excuse for not moving forward; if they do, you are leaning on fear that it might happen again. This is why there is Life Coaching to help you with your fears.

Sometimes it takes a bolt of lightening to make us move and then we move, regardless of the fear. Fear can prevent progress and our future happiness. It can make us leery of our shadow and fear of making sure we don't pet the cat again. We can't judge tomorrow by today even if we did get bit in the rear so to speak. If we did something that was good and right at the moment, we did not fail...the other human did. Other people will disappoint us..those are facts that will never go away but; We should never disappoint ourselves and this is what we discover in Life Coaching and getting rid of the fear.

There are risk involved in anything we do but there are risk to our happiness and well being if we do nothing because of fear. We fear the unknown, we fear the future, we fear we will make mistakes, we fear "it" won't last, we fear we will get hurt, we fear criticism, failure and rejection. If one stops to think about the fear they would never proceed to do what it takes to live life. Rejection is the number one fear. Why? Because we measure the results of our efforts in terms of whether we are accepted or rejected. We are going to fail at some point and at something before we die. That is life and it is evident. If we did not have failure; how would be learn what works and what does not?

"Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear." Cheri Huber

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson

"Nothing in life is to be feared; it is to be understood." Marie Curie

"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear." Rosa Parks

Clearly making a decision gives one a sign of relief because the biggest job was deciding to do it. Most of the time when we decide to do something; we already know if we are equipped to do it and that is why as in the last quote, the fear is gone with the work in process.

Fear can paralyze, cripple and endanger our lives more than what could happen to us. If we stop living because of fear; we are saying we have no right to live.....by me.

We must stop leaning on fear- we learn from our Life Coach - That Fear is only temporary if we choose it to be.

Life Coaching- Who Are You -Cont'd

2010-02-26T13:59:00.003-06:00

Life Coaching - Who Are You?

If a stranger walked up to you and asked you the question; Who are you? What would be your response? Besides thinking they were crazy for asking; what would be you first explanation for who are you? Do you know who you are? Most of us probably do not know exactly who we are or should I say; who we have become.

When we were born we were angelic beings, so innocent and without all of the baggage we carry around now. We grew, developed and became less than perfect individuals and so full of wisdom; at 16 we thought so anyway. We became adults in a world of fending for ourselves, learning, making mistakes and learning some more; sometimes. Other times, we didn't learn enough so we repeat behaviors that caused us pain or struggle and we can't seem to brake bad habits.

So, who are you? Think about who you really are. How do we learn who we are? I believe it is by taking the time to look within and analyze our behaviors and where we want to go or what we want to do. It seems to be human nature to forget who we are sometimes. My parents used to tell me as a teenager to "remember who you are." I doubt that I knew what that really entailed then, but what I did know was that they did not want me to not do anything considered wrong. It could have entailed a whole lot of other things besides doing something wrong. When thinking about who we are; we should look at our actions and how we think about life in general.

"We are all something, but none of us are everything." - Blaise Pascal

"A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else." - Cardinal De Retz

"I think somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision." Eleanor Roosevelt

"People are like stained glass windows: they sparkly and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than be false and to incur my own abhorrence." -- Frederick Douglass

"Without self knowledge, without understanding the working and functions of his machine, a man cannot be free, he cannot govern himself and he will always remain a slave." --G. I. Gurdjieff

Ask yourself some questions and learn who you are.......hopefully this Life Coaching Articles will help...

are you in a state of confusion
do you need to slow down
are you careful for other people's feelings
are you more concerned about you than you are others
are you more concerned about others than you are yourself
is the glass half empty or half full
do you want to change something
do you live one day at time
do you want the possible
why do you want what you are seeking
where do you want to go
what is your purpose
do you have the ability to reach your goals
are you procrastinating
do you want too much
do you want too little
are you calm
are you happy with anything
is life good to you
do you feel blessed
are you always right
are you always wrong
are you peaceful

Analyze your answers and see who you really are.....you might be surprised.

Life Coach-Who Are You

2010-02-23T15:26:00.005-06:00

Let's look into ourselves to see who we are. Life Coaching -Who Are You hopes to bring out some points to consider in know just who you are. Do you know or do you just think you know?

Let's say we are working on a personal career change. You seem to have your life together in most other areas, but you are just not happy with the way your job is going, you can't seem to advance and your work is not appreciated. You feel that you have put your whole heart into what you are doing but for some reason; no one notices. You have decided to leave but you feel a little apprehensive and want to make sure you are making the right decision. So you are need some Life Coaching and know Who You Are. These tips might help..

Some points to consider:

Are you looking for the unrealistic?
Do you present your work with enthusiasm?
Do you show an interest in what others are doing?
Do you like your job?
Could there be another reason that you are unhappy and it only appears to be your job?
Are you in a rut?
Do you join in conversations and meetings to show your knowledge?
Is it really that you are overlooked or is something missing within you?
Are you unconsciously jealous of someone else?
Why do you think you need to leave?
Do you really know Who You Are?

These are just 11 questions but there could be more. Only the individual can answer their own questions in Life Coaching -Who Are You. When being asked number one; is there actually a place in this career for you to advance? Even if you were noticed, it is probable that you would be the choice. Are you capable of handling the task? Are you qualified for the advance? Have you managed people before? Is it a political situation? Yes, there are politics in business just like everything else. Are you reaching for something that is not there?

I hate to say it but there are career situations in which it does not matter what you know; how much experience you have or what kind of degree you have; it is who you know. One does not have to experience Life Coaching or learning about Who You Are; to know that. On the other hand, you should not have to play politics. If you are capable with all of the abilities mentioned above; it could be you are on the wrong path and need a change. In any part of Life Coaching and Who Are You; it depends upon the who you are and what you are willing to do to get what you want. If it is your desire to be in management or at another level and you cannot get there where you are; it is then up to you to make the decision. If you were to make the decision then it would be appropriate to seek management positions to start with. You cannot count on going into a company and automatically being next in line to receive that promotion. A lot of times it is seniority. In Life Coaching and finding out if we know Who We Are, really; sometimes we want something we are not ready for. Be sure you are ready.

Before we up and leave though, let's think about staying first and look at ourselves a little further in this little class of Life Coaching -Who Are You. Are you enthusiastic about your work? Do you have a sense of enjoyment on a daily basis or do you go around grumpy all day because someone else got the promotion? Are you jealous? The work place has no room for jealously, it only decreases productivity and profitability. Be your own person and forget about everyone else and do what you should do and do it well; that is my philosophy and it will always work out sooner or later. If you desire something strong enough and you perform your duties and make any necessary changes to make your dreams come true, they can and they will. When you perform your job with the highest quality of standards and abide by the rules constantly; it doesn't matter who gets the promotion, you still have your history of a job well done and with expertise. It is something no one can take away from you.

Are you friendly with your co-workers and smile with confidence and act like you know your stuff; or are you hiding behind your unhappiness? If you are hiding, then you are not going to come across as manager material. Manager material must be able to put all things aside and project a calm, confident and positive attitude when intermingling with others; managers and peers. This is where Life Coaching help-helps you see Who You Are. You have to enjoy your job or you cannot teach someone else to. Managing people is an art; you either have it or you don't. It does not mean that one cannot learn how to manage others but they should work with a Life Coach to help them know better Who They Are. A manager must help the team work as a whole. They must provide training, objectiveness, positive feedback, motivation, skills, and take responsibility for the team. You got it; there is no blaming someone else for a teams failure, that is why the company has management and if you are that, then you take the responsibility. You have to be an example in all that you do.

Are you sure others areas in your life are okay? Are your relationships healthy, are you giving what you need to give at home, is your personal life where it needs to be? Sometimes when we are unhappy at home, we become unhappy everywhere else also and it shows, believe it or not. No one might tell you but more than likely it shows. If this is the case, it is then you must get this fixed first to know if you are really unhappy with your career or not. First things first always.

Do you know what you are truly feeling yet? Who are you really? Are you the confident person who should get the promotion? Are you needing this promotion to feel good about yourself? Are you being selfish? Are you becoming someone you should not be? Life Coaching - Who Are You is to help you understand what you need know about yourself and what is expected from you in certain situation.

To be continued.......

Life Coaching and Knowing Ones Self

2010-02-22T20:53:00.004-06:00

I wish to give you something to think about. It is important that we each have a Knowing of Ourselves and we learn this in Life Coaching. It is said that we humans pretty much have the same basic needs, in fact I am sure of it. I do not think I have ever met anyone who did not want approval, respect, appreciation and love to mention a few. The way to find out real quick is to give someone a chance to speak in front of a crowd and then criticize what they had to say. Or interrupt them to add your comment to their point of view and you can find out real quickly that they do not appreciate your comments or criticism. It is called needing approval and appreciation. In Life Coaching and Knowing Ones Self; this is a must have.

I do not think that there are many humans walking the face of this earth who really see themselves as others see them. It does not mean that they are people who have problems or are not appreciated by others but we see ourselves in a different light than others do. We have a tendency to believe that we are gracious, kind, considerate, giving, caring, loving individuals. Nothing wrong with that because if we believe we are; we can become that....they say..but sometimes we must work diligently at it in Knowing Ones Self. We see ourselves as being good, most of us and normally we do not understand when someone doesn't see us the way we see ourselves.

In many cases I have found in many years of working in the public and in management; if we have the ability to take up for ourselves when someone lashes out at us; we are instantly labeled as defensive. Some people seem to want to control the situation they are in regardless of who gets their feelings hurt (these people; do not know themselves) or how they push someone else down. Some individuals have to prove they are in charge. Actually what this shows is that they are actually afraid of challenge or insecure about what they are doing to some degree and at some point. Why? Because someone who is comfortable with their position and what they are doing do not have to prove they are "the boss", the "person in charge." They possess the quality by their calm, quiet actions of team work and promotion of the group as a whole. This is Knowing Ones Self really well.

Very few people that we know really understand who we are from our own prospective. Why, we do not know all the reasons, we can only guess possibilities; because we can't read anyone's mind. What we do know is that people are sometimes afraid to try to know others. They probably, more than likely do not know themselves either. It is in Life Coaching that we have to find out about those insecurities and put them to bed forever that people, sometimes seem to have about knowing others. Before we can move on; we must know who we are so that we can find solutions to our problems.

Some individuals are not the best at public speaking. They will tell you that when you asks them to. They will not volunteer to be the speaker of the project. When one become a manager, there is so much of this that is required and this can be hard work and tough on the nerves. Most individuals get nervous and afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid they will say the wrong thing? Afraid of the people opinions who are listening? Probably all of the above. One must learn why they have these insecurity feelings, deal with them and how to make it work better for them. Life Coaching is definitely a way to find and cure what makes us afraid of what how others will judge us; when we have the experience and ability to do the job as well as anyone.

We also have to remember that people hear things differently. It doesn't matter how something is said; it is how it is perceived by the audience. The tone, the expressions, the choice of words and the ability to let people feel your are a part of the team, without making them feel like your are picking on them or scolding. You know management level Life Coaching requires certain techniques to make sure you are providing motivation and not discouragement.

It is not the easiest task in developing all of our own skills to perform our duties as we would care to. But, if we pursue Life Coaching and trying to Know Ones Self; we are making progress as we are working on being more fit for our calling; whatever that may be.

Life and Coaching

2010-02-22T15:53:00.007-06:00

Life and Coaching; what is it about life that needs so much coaching to begin with? We will asks the question why is it that we super humans cannot manage our life without someone telling us what we should or should not do? That, is probably your question; if you are only reading this without searching for someone to help you sort out things. This work or study is similar to personal growth and personal development which goes hand in hand with Life and Coaching.

Life Coaching is not really about someone telling anyone what to do. First of all a participant must already believe there is a need to have another individual; mentor, listen, ask questions, point out, learn about them, and study with them. This could mean they make a plan of action for them or help them help themselves in whatever it is that they are seeking to accentuate in their life. Be it a relationship, extended family issue, a job challenge, a religious issue, or a decision which could alter ones life drastically. Then of course, there are other rolls in which a Life Coach could play as long as there is a plan of action to help progress to the final results. Life Coaching does not have to be continuous, it can be at intervals or a period, a break and then another period. It depends upon the progress and what outcome is expected.

Seeking, wanting or needing Life Coaching does not make anyone weak, incapable of helping themselves or without psychological abilities; it can means that one is needing an additional party to tune into their behavior patterns to see from the outside looking in. It can mean they need a non-biased party to tell them what they see that might be disabling their potential of living life fuller.

All humans seem to live life in a hurry and actually sometimes they are not really living; they are in automatic mode and do not think about what they are doing on a minute to minute basis or even hour to hour. We are sometimes muddling through our life without using our full brain power; and in fact studies show that we use less than 25% of it. What does that tell us? It tells me that if I am to make my life more comfortable, and help myself achieve my highest self; my full potential, then I may need to sit down and take an assessment of my comings and goings to see what I have been missing on a daily basis. It means that I might be able to look within myself to find more reliable ways to make life more meaningful which might include any issues I may have with my relationships, family, work or play.

We have learned behaviors which are automatic and we do not even realize sometimes that we are acting, and going about life as we are. The learned behaviors could be keeping us from enjoying the moment; remember in Life Coaching we do not go back to the past we are dealing with the present and finding remedies for the future.

Life Coaching Framework

2010-02-22T14:15:00.004-06:00

What exactly is life coaching? It is about discipline and finding ways to make things work that already exist in our ability. It is about the process of directing individual (s) or groups of individuals in personal achievement of their current and future life discipline. Life Coaching Framework is not about mental illness or helping heal someone who is to the state of needing medication. It is similar to personal growth and development, exploring the ability to teach ourselves different approaches to change and evaluations of how things currently are. It does not entail trying to heal the sick period; it is future focused with the aim of helping clients determine and achieve personal goals. Life Coaches are not therapists nor consultants; psychological intervention and business analysis are outside the cope of Life Coaches. Coaching is identifying the skills and capabilities that are within a person and enabling them to use them to the best of their ability. It is about increasing independence within the individual, and reducing reliance.

Life Coaching is not regulated by Government bodies as they have not found it necessary to provide standards for life coaching, nor does any state body govern the education or training stand for the life coaching industry. The title of "Coach" may be used by anyone who provides services of this nature. There are coaching schools and training programs available when an individual who decides to get certification or a credential to hang on the wall.

Life Coaching got its origination and/or roots in executive coaching which draws upon techniques to develop managers in leadership roles to become more leadership quality. Life Coaching also is about inspiration from disciplines in other areas of study to include sociology, psychology, positive adult development, mentoring and other types of counseling. It is also traced back to the teachings of Benjamin Karter, a college football coach turned motivational speaker prior to and during 1980.

A Life Coach sometimes mentors, assesses, and helps the client with behavior modification, goal-setting and other techniques.

There are different areas of coaching to include but not limited to:

Business Coaching
Personal Coaching
Health Coaching
Sports Coaching
Dating Coaching
ADHD Coaching
Religious Coaching
Conflict Coaching
Transformational Coaching

As with any other organization or professional capacity; one of the challenges in the field of Life Coaching is upholding levels of professionalism, standards and ethics. Many coaching bodies and organization have codes of ethics and standard which their member are accountable to. At some later date there could be a requirement for licensing for Life Coaches but, to date; it is not.