Sweden: psychodynamic therapy breaks the the grip of CBT

Sweden: psychodynamic therapy breaks the the grip of CBT | are we really improving access to psychological therapies?.

At some time in their lives, at least one person in six, approximately 16%, in modern industrial countries like the UK or US, will be diagnosed with some type of mental illness; other studies even cite figures as high as 25%.  These statistics include a vast spectrum of crippling conditions; depression, eating disorders, phobias, panic attacks, etc. Counselling London can help you with these issues.

More important than these statistics though, are the complex feelings that go on inside people. Are there therapies out there that can truly change feelings?  Although there are no certainties, there is probably a mode of counselling that can help?

All of the types of talk therapy, including counselling, share one extremely important element—they permit the victim of mental health issues to openly talk about, and share, their experiences and feelings.  Consider it, finally someone else who is willing and able to hear what really going on inside!  However, there’s still a problem…

Does your counsellor, or yourself, truly understand the complex feelings that many people experience?

At times, the process of counselling can seem like a murder mystery. During the counselling process the counsellor and you follow the clues that show up in your past; connections that exist between what is happening now, and what has happened to you in the past.  Following this analogy, the client takes the role of Sherlock Holmes and the therapist will, like Watson, follow Holmes’ lead, by asking the client to examine the features of his or her life that seem difficult or puzzling.  In counselling, there is usually no ‘murder,’ but there will always be mystery; hints, clues, backstories, ‘red herrings,’ sub-plots, all of the classical literary devices.  Counselling helps find the path through this maze of suffering and, sometimes, just like a murder mystery, it will not only be difficult, as well as painful and challenging, but it also may be fun!

So you are with your therapist in the consulting room and you are tongue-tied and don’t have anything to say.

The silence keeps growing and you really wish you can get out of the room.

You want to ask your therapist to talk but he or she just simply response “I don’t know what to say”.

So that makes the two of you.

If only you have a way in and be able to discuss with him or her about what’s going inside your head.

So you are looking for words to initiate the communication.

“I planned not to come today”

“I’m having butterflies in my tummy”

“I am unable to concentrate because there are a lot things that I need to do right after this session”

“I am not quite convinced that this is working”

“I think I won’t be coming back”

“Me and my partner had a fight last night”

So what is the most comfortable way to speak out in this kind of circumstance? Occasionally, it is ordinary and sometimes it is the kind of sentence that you believe will strike the therapist between the eyes…

At times, you just feel that you want to blurt it out to him or her “I hate it when you just silently sit there!”

So what are the things that are holding you back? Is it because you are thinking that you will be judged or criticized for the things that you will be revealing to your therapist? Or do you feel that other people are going to judge you? What you should keep in mind though is that the person you are with is a stranger.

Therapy can really be scary as well as a challenging environment. Moreover, therapeutic relationships can become scarier it is because you tell yourself so much about you and what’s going on in your life; but, you don’t get to know more about him or her.

Are there issues of marital conflict like infidelity which can only be resolved by dissolution of marriage? Counselling London can provide you with a safe place to process this and many other difficult questions, why not  call us now?

A partner’s act of infidelity or probably by both partners in one relationship does not often suggest to end the relationship. Hence, what are the other elements that may influence the preservation of the relationship when the guilty, shame, depression, embarrassment, loss of face, anger and trust have been over?

What ties couples together? Status, power, money, kids or lack of it, the idea that a relationship can still thrive into friendship is not quite convincing, the belief that a couple who is not able to keep a solid and supportive relationship may somehow stay as friends after a trauma may not be quite believable.

What about those individuals who are in an abusive relationship? Introducing infidelity can have a little influence if the respective partners are always in war but are not able to end the relationship since they find it hard to do so. An extramarital affair can be as welcoming as to wait in refuge.

Are there equivalents in several other disagreeing situations?

Conflict situations may come up from nothing, a lot of people that I have worked with if I ask them to describe the situation explain that ‘it sparked from nothing at all’, obviously the thing that started the conflict was the triggering factor, which may be not really very significant. The conflict may have taken place because the person who started the fight failed to identify and did not correctly deal with the start of the issue. This is one common trap that a lot of us fall into at a point in our lives. The equivalent to unfaithfulness in a common conflict situation can be the fact that a person hesitates to recognize the existence of the other person in the relationship and at such time feels being neglected and ignored, treated without respect and humiliated, which are similar feelings that one may probably go through in order to find out that their partner is involved with a third party.

Since counselling has become popular for several years being an effective therapy to manage depression, a few people are not quite aware of the benefits of psychotherapeutic intervention and therapy for healing and preventing a range of disorders, both in body and mind. Counselling London offer a range of counselling modalities why not call us for an initial assessment?

Having a good experience as a medical secretary for quite a long time prior to becoming a counsellor has given me a valuable idea on the medical histories of over thousands of patients. As time passes, it became very clear that those people who suffered whether from long-term stress or a kind of mental disharmony most likely fall into physical disorders as well.

I find the evidence really clear and obvious in cases where there are a form of chronic or a type of emotional disturbance so there is a type of physical disorder down the line. But, within the scientific space of the medical practice, it looked like the things I could see were not noticed by the physicians. At last, I had the chance to ask one of the doctors regarding the percentage of the problems or disorders he was dealing that might be caused by stress. He answered that there were about 98%. So through this scientific training and his very long experience of prescribing medications, this doctor believed that a lot of these disorders which the average general practitioner notices are treatable through counselling.

It can be a small yet helpful step to take to comprehend how it can be possible for several mental and physical disorders can be caused by stress. Talking of the physical level, we know that when the body is into stress, the cortisol hormone is released. But, this has also been found in those people who are suffering from depression. When this kind of hormone is produce for a long time, this can cause a lot of physical disorders like decrease in bone density, suppressed function of the thyroid, fatigue, high blood pressure, inflammatory response and lowered immunity.

Going for counselling when you are in stressful times and especially when feeling depressed, this can be a good way to reduce the release of cortisol. Hence, when you see a counsellor, you may be helped both mentally and physically as the problems may be brought by stress.

In order to identify whether you are in a drama triangle then you take not whether it is a repeated pattern. Counselling London can help you understand the process that drives these behaviors.Take not of physical signs or signals that you may have and evaluate yourself what these things are about. Make a sound decision that you don’t desire to pursue playing such kind of game. Just by simply making a conscious awareness and not repeat the old pattern, this will put you in a strong position to make an escape from the triangle and stop the game.

The Roles in the Drama Triangle

Victim: People who are in favour of the victim role find themselves basically vulnerable and open to experience without any pretence and they have the inner capacity to own their experience. If you find yourself in game, you should be asking yourself whether you are discounting your capacity to find an answer to such problem. The victims do have their own feelings and they feel them.

Rescuer: People who are in favour of this kind of spot see themselves to be helpful and mindful and they become dynamically involved. So if you find yourself in a game or perhaps get into such game, then you should be asking yourself whether you are reducing the other person’s capacity to think on their own self and utilize their own initiate. The rescuers are in need of victims since they find it hard to feel their own feelings thus they need victims to be able to feel.

Persecutor: People who take favour of the Persecutor role find themselves to be mainly assertive, able to discriminate and perceptive. If you find yourself in a game or probably get into a game, then you should be asking yourself whether you are reducing the fact that other people have rights and dignity. The persecutors need victims to be able to act out to be able to be connected with their own feelings.

Before we discuss more on this, here is a checklist for you to evaluate your relationship regarding this matter. First, do you always repeat the arguments on issues that have hurt you? Are you always fighting over the same issues? Do you not recall what the issue was originally about? Do you find that in such argument you have experienced some physical discomfort like shoulder ache, headache, loop in the stomach, etc.? Do you cry and wish that you are not trapped in such relationship? Do you want to end these disagreements? Counselling London can help you process these difficult thoughts and feelings, why not call us now?

If you have answered yes one or more questions then you may find help in the following information. This is according to the Drama Triangle which was initially illustrated by Stephen Karpman in the year 1968. This is referred to as a drama triangle since this is one common plot which is utilized in many films, soap operas, etc. Political issues, wars and some problems in the organisations are filled with these drama triangles.

These are ‘high energy’ games of the mind without winners. These games are being portrayed by a lot of people at one point of their lives and are most likely learned since childhood. One should recognise that these are demonstrated without being consciously aware; hence the person doesn’t know at such period that it is a repeated behaviour. If you choose to, you can surely prevent yourself from being involved in such kind of behaviour or make the decision to make that escape.

The drama triangle comes with 3 positions namely, Rescuer, Persecutor and Victim. Those who are playing such game will be switching from one role to another and occasionally this happens with overwhelming speed. Each person has a favourite starting role and they don’t necessarily be in the same position very long and make a switch to another role.

Most often when a couple would approach due to issues of having a difficult relationship or the relationship is breaking, it is quite clear that they have lost good communication. Counseling London offer couples counselling to help you process your blocks that limit your communication skills. As we all know, communication is a two-way process or the give and take process of talking and listening. Moreover, this demands us that we should think and hear. Prior to being able to talk about our feeling, we need to be clear in our minds what the feeling is. Most of the time we feel irritated, upset or annoyed and we are not sure why this is. The person who usually gets the outcome behaviour deals with it and that person is one who is close to us – such as our partner. When we can better comprehend our problems, we are able to explain things in a clearer manner as well.

Most of the time, I hear couples saying they are hurt, taken for granted or ignored. When we try exploring this, we usually find the partners feeling similarly and either of them is quite busy to feel it and try to notice the feeling of the other person. Occasionally, the only place where a couple can possibly hear each other’s hurt feeling is in the counselling room.

It may surprise you that your partner actually feels isolated like you do. This can also offer a starting point in order to have an efficient communication regarding what is happening in the life of each partner and this also offers the chance to start dealing with such issues like long-kept resentments and also hurts that have been embedded in a relationship. The couple feels like there is a wall built in between them and this prevented them from hearing each other or explaining something. At times, couples need to go to the therapy room since this can be a safe place for eliminating some of the issues that are bothering the relationship.

Dating is one exciting experience. Probably, a guy has taken you to lovely restaurants or making plans about interesting trips and probably contemplating on going for couples shopping in Heals to get a new and fantastic piece of furniture. Counselling London offer intensive couples counselling programs to help you improve the art of relating.

I do love that touch of luxury just the same with what the next girl; however, here’s one word of caution regarding the gloss that can be covering the tell-tale signs that you may be deluding yourself on this relationship and some things require change.

1. You are not quite confident about yourself. Surely, this is one sight that you are only deluding this new relationship. If there is a need for you to look differently or dress differently, then this is one sign that the relationship may be heading for trouble.

The relationships should be founded on trust, authenticity and sincerity. And you should be loved for who you are.

2. The two of you don’t have a shared vision of what your future’s going to be like. You are just fooling yourself if the two of you rarely or never discuss about the future. It is a warning sign when your partner doesn’t discuss it or is shifting to a different topic whenever you bring this up.

3. Less than stellar communication. Definitely, couples have an argument; however, if both of you just “talk past” each other, don’t resolve a misunderstanding or not quite talking at all, you are just fooling yourself about the real score of your relationship.

You need to learn better communication skills! Go to the self-help section or probably find a therapist or a relationship expert who can assist you on this.

4. Respect and care are missing. Simply not asking the other when making big purchases as well as ignoring and forgetting anniversaries and forgetting birthdays are some examples.

Simply, when the both of you demonstrate this kind of behaviour, then you are definitely taking each other for granted. What you should do is to set limits and ensure that you follow the golden rule: ask for nothing more than what you give and accept nothing less.

There is no perfect relationship and every couple has its own troubles but ignoring these warning signs is not the way to resolve it.