My Own Little World

When Roles Get Reversed

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Fri, 08 Apr 2016 19:21:00 +0000

It’s just another rainy day. I witness the heavy downpour from the balcony – smell of wet mud, raindrops lashing the leaves, whistling winds, the ominous roar of thunder followed by lightning displays. This nature dwelling was short lived, though, when I hear someone crying out to me from the adjacent room. I rush to see two annoyed faces and I realize they have just finished squabbling over something as usual. This time it is over the television. One says, ‘Too much lightning outside. Tell him to turn off the TV’. The other one disputes, ‘No, no. I want to watch. My favourite show is on’. Taking the matter into my own hands, I proceed to take possession of the remote from the boy’s hand, turn off the TV (much to his bewilderment), disconnect it from the socket and gently but firmly tell him that it is dangerous to switch on electrical appliances when there’s lightning. The girl throws a victorious look at the boy, the boy sulks but thankfully, the disagreement ends then and there.

If you think I am a parent talking about her toddlers, think again. I am someone in my 30’s, living with my ageing parents who are experiencing mid-life concerns when it comes to their health. Parents who have started behaving like children – fighting over the TV, whining over mundane things, refusing to understand what’s good and bad for them and of course, repeatedly going into that much dreaded sulking mode. The pro being they instantly brighten up when you shower them with love and affection.

There comes a phase in everyone’s life when you are no longer a recipient but a provider to your parents and their needs. I am in that phase now (albeit a bit early) where roles have gotten reversed. I remember as a kid I would eagerly wait for dad to get back from the supermarket to see if he had bought some goodies for me and my sister to munch on. Now I see my dad looking at me in the same way when I return from grocery shopping, asking me eagerly if I have got his favourite savouries from the store. I remember, as a kid, my mom would coax me to take medicines when I was unwell. Now I run behind her with iron & vitamin D tabs because if I don’t, she skips having them altogether. I remember, as a kid, mom and dad would peep into the sitting room and switch off the TV if we were found sleeping in front of it. Now every night, like a ritual, I turn off the TV in their bedroom and make sure all lights are switched off. Back then, there were no problems my parents could not solve. At this juncture of my life, I am more of a counsellor to their problems – a listening ear.

It is not exactly clear when, where and how this role reversal took place but it all happened so gradually that I hardly took any notice of it. It is only when you step back and reminisce do you become fully aware that your life has changed a lot over the past few years. This is applicable to almost everything in our life, more so with our parents. As they age, they become more stubborn, you have to speak a bit louder for their hearing is not as acute as before, remind them of events as their memory is fading, lend a helping hand when they are walking down stairs or getting up from a chair, make nerve wracking decisions which you had let your parents blissfully make till now, fuss over their eating habits and feel your heart crumbling into tiny pieces even if they get a tiny scratch from a fall.

Soon enough, you realize with a bittersweet feeling that you have become a parent to your parent… and the role reversal has indeed begun.

The New Neighbourhood

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Mon, 03 Nov 2014 17:29:00 +0000

Moving to a city is what I have wanted since long. Not because I didn’t like my old place. It’s great! But it’s a place more suitable for say.. retired people. Or maybe even dead people. The quiet and calm has a soothing effect but too much exposure to it could make any sane person feel as if they are going to lose it. It has the same eerie feeling that of entering a graveyard. Or maybe it’s the same routine every single day that does it. No matter where you are, if you follow the same time tabled life, it takes a toll on you some day. You might not realize it and only when you step out of it would you come to know you are in a much better space now.

So when I got this opportunity to move to a city, I welcomed it with wide open arms, gave the opportunity a tight squeeze till it couldn’t breathe any further. I was that happy! My friends asked me why I would want to move and that they would die to shift to a place like mine with the greenery and peace all around (something hard to find in the city). But I guess the grass is always greener on the other side? City people crave for a quieter life whereas people like me enjoy the hustle and bustle that comes with living in a city. For now, at least. Everything has a lifespan and who knows.. I might get bored of all this eventually and might want to venture out again to something new. Like they say, change is the only constant in anyone’s life.

Biological Clock and Societal Concerns

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 16:16:00 +0000

“Don’t you miss having a life?”

“Umm.. I feel very much alive at the moment”

“Every woman’s life is incomplete without marriage.”

(Too bored of this topic already) “Okay”

“Don’t you want kids? Your biological clock is ticking”

Now if I was half as witty as Preity Zinta in Kal Ho Naa Ho, I would have retorted “Well, you don’t need to get married to have children”, but instead I go:

“All this doesn’t bother me. I love my freedom right now. It’s awesome”

This dialogue of mine brings on such a compassionate “oh you poor thing” look which people usually reserve for patients diagnosed with an incurable disease. Then this is followed by a deep sigh which gives rise to a self-doubt of whether I truly have a deadly disease I was unaware of. And some souls are so fascinated with this biological clock (somehow I always picture it as something sparkly like a gold watch), I feel like taking it out from its secret chamber, wrapping it in glitter paper and gifting it to them.

.. Probably write a note “Here! For you to scrutinize and stare at all day long. With love.”

The society is in some sort of denial when it comes to your happiness. Being happy when you are unmarried is considered a myth. Being married for some time and still being very much in love is considered another myth!

Before marriage:

“You should get married. Life is incomplete without marriage. You will be happy”

“But I am happy!”

Society: “I refuse to believe”

Early stage of married life:

“Ok you need to have children. Life is incomplete without children.”

“But we are fine now”

Society: “I refuse to believe”

Few years of married life:

“I am so happy. I have been blessed with the perfect husband. We share a very loving relationship”

Society: ”Who’s she kidding?”

I don’t really get it.

Yalla Habibi, Shlonak Ntha?

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 10:28:00 +0000

I was an NRI for more than half of my life, so it amuses me no end when I see new NRIs conversing in a language they mastered recently. I never found the need to talk to other Indians in Arabic when I was in Bahrain or Dubai so I do not really understand why there’s this new trend of showing off your newly acquired language skills to fellow Indians. And I have noticed how it's mostly prevalent among Indians in Europe.

Picture the scene in Queen when Rani (played by Kangana) visits her relatives in France along with Vijayalakshmi (played by Lisa Haydon). They are conversing in their mother tongue when all of a sudden their relatives decide to talk in French, quick to quote that they are now taking tuition classes for the same. Now shift your focus to Rani and Vijayalakshmi’s expressions. Do you see them going “Wow”?

Of course not. These were the exact set of expressions I and my classmates shared back in school when our Indian-born French teachers used to chat with each other. That of amusement.

French sir #1: "Ma femme est si paresseux"

French sir #2: "Toutes les femmes sont les mêmes"

French sir#1: "Mais elle cuisine bien"

French sir#2: "Oui"

Students: "Do you think they are bitching about us?"

It’s totally understandable though if it’s a local you are interacting with and you NEED to converse in this new language for them to understand. But it’s not always the case. On Facebook itself, I see so many changes not just in the language used but also the name. I saw one “Maya” become “Màya” and a “Meenakshi” become “Mènaxi” as soon as they landed in Europe. And the worst part is, I am not even sure how their names are pronounced now.

Closed

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 10:25:00 +0000

"Only if my mind had a computer with an Internet connection, I would have blogged more often."

A dialogue I am constantly using nowadays when people ask me why I have not been blogging. And it's partly true. Even if it has been a year since I blogged anything (except at work where I am into blogging as well), my mind has never been idle and is always brimming with thoughts. There had been instances when I thought "hey, this would make a great blog post" but I am not sure if it was laziness or being tied up with so many things, I just never got around to doing it.

Another reason? I guess I have reached that point in life when I don't really find it necessary to blog about each and every aspect of my life. Maybe I have become more closed and private when it comes to talking about my life on a public platform. I still write to clear my head (it's so therapeutic) but now in an MS Word document. I am not sure if this change is maturity (as a friend claims) but it surely is a change.

A New Desi Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Sat, 22 Jun 2013 12:25:00 +0000

So after years of contemplating on starting my own small little venture online for Indian apparel, my dream finally materialized nearly a week back. Being Desi is finally online. Whether the business would be a success or a failure is not known to me, but I just had to get it out of my system. That want to get out of my comfort zone, where everything is known and familiar, and strive for something even if I have no idea what the outcome would be. My family and I joined hands to make this dream come true and needless to say I am pretty excited, anxious, happy all at the same time.

A special thanks goes to ALL my friends who liked my page and supported me in this venture, especially Abhinav Bhatt for helping me out with the logo. The response to the page has been overwhelming. A lot of likes are from young boys who I assume are more interested in the mannequin. Sigh. Anyway, she has been named Kalyani by yours truly because I just can't call her a 'dummy' or a 'mannequin'. I feel calling her as such would hurt her non existent feelings.

Getting back to my dream, it would mean a lot to me if you guys could support my venture or suggest the page to your girl friends who are into online shopping.. or guy friends who are just interested at staring a cool looking mannequin (she IS pretty). This is the page: https://www.facebook.com/beingdesionline and here are some of the products:

Black and Pink Anarkali

Blue Anarkali

Color Block Saree

White and Blue Shimmer Chiffon Saree

Looking forward to interacting with you all there :)

Finally

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 12:51:00 +0000

I have been thinking about this for a long time now. A really long time. I have been inspired by women I know who have gone ahead with this and around this time last year I decided that I too would follow their footsteps soon. I wanted to sponsor a child. How soon? I wasn't sure. Why? Yes, I wanted to make a difference in some way or the other in a kid's life. Or it might be for selfish reasons too. For that happiness it brings me when I help someone - the feeling's priceless. I always had a soft corner for kids and last year too I involved myself in philanthropy keeping kids in mind. So I guess it was only natural that I would choose this path.

I was looking at World Vision's website recently and I just had this strong feeling that now it's the time to go ahead and do something that I wanted to for a long time. I contacted them and I was given prompt answers to all of my questions. I finally took the plunge and now I am sponsoring a sweet little Indian girl with the warmest smile ever. I hope to write letters to her. But since she cannot read or write English as of now, I am hoping that those employed at the organization would translate it to Telugu for her. Sponsorship is a long term commitment. There are no agreements as such and you can stop whenever you want to but I intend to sponsor her till she's educated properly and can fend for herself.

The whole point of writing this post is not to boast about what I did. I am hoping someone or the other would find some inspiration from this post and take steps to ensure a better future for kids in India. You can go to World Vision India and do your bit today.

I would also like to dedicate this post to a wonderful group of people I met online on FB - the IndiBlogeshwaris. Akanksha introduced me to this group of women bloggers and I can't help gush about how enthusiastic and fun they are. These ladies are always ready to share their everyday life experiences (making you admire them - the things they do and how they deal with problems), applaud you when you have done something credible, wipe away your tears when you are down in the dumps and crack the most insane jokes which make you smile even if you are all cranky or depressed. They have inspired me in so many ways. I don't get to comment on posts as much as I want to but I do tend to read them all ardently. They are turning one today and what more can I do than dedicate such a post to an inspiring group of zealous people. Happy 1st anniversary IndiBlogeshwaris! You people are truly the ultimate rockstars.

Travel Therapy

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Sat, 18 May 2013 10:23:00 +0000

I recently made a short trip to Dubai. It was long overdue because I was getting fed up with the same ol’ routine and desperately needed some change. If you have been working way too hard (even during weekends) you might understand the need to get away and have that much needed fun. So off I went to Dubai to my sister’s place.

When I go traveling I always make it a point to stay away from the Internet, online social networking and such. I’m online most of the time no thanks to my work so I take my breaks pretty seriously and think of it as a break from the virtual life as well. It always helps. Social networking can turn very addictive, and I don’t want any such sort of addictions while I am on vacation at least.

It’s kind of weird (in a good way) that always after traveling or during the course of a travel, I get a fresh perspective over things that were bugging me till then. I learn to relax and realize that I was seriously over-thinking and over-stressing myself with unimportant things. I am a Virgo to the core, I fret about silly things, go crazy over them and make others go crazy too in the process. So this is something that absolutely works for me. It calms me down, gives me a peace of mind, I function better.

And I don’t mean traveling to places that you travel often. I don’t mean traveling to that nearby location which is easily accessible or which follows a culture similar to yours. Catch a plane, go to a place which is completely different from the one you are residing in right now and see the change it brings to you. You get to experience different things this way, your world opens up and you realize there’s so much more out there than what you think. It’s a complete change and changes make me happy. A time tabled life dries me down and I completely believe that change should be the only constant in your life.

I now intend on traveling every year to some place or the other. Last year it was Bahrain, this year it was Dubai, next year I have planned something more and I am hoping it all materializes. 'Coz I realized traveling has a certain magic to it. It’s a therapy. The best that I can recommend.

Time to Change? Maybe Not

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 08:00:00 +0000

How many times have you heard people tell you to change certain aspects of your behavior? Especially when you have made them angry or told them the truth? I have been on the receiving end many a times where people have asked me to change.

"Be more tactful. Control your words"

This was a dialogue I received when I gave an opinion to someone honestly. Since tact is not one of my strong traits, I prefer to shut up. Up comes the next dialogue:

"Don't be silent when I am talking to you. This is not the way you deal confrontations. Speak up!"

It is a never ending loop. You sometimes wonder if people ever keep track of what they say because you hear such contradictory statements from them from time to time.

When something like a divorce happens, you start thinking about where you have gone wrong and try to take in advice from others on how to deal with relationships more efficiently. The thought process was "they have had a long marriage, they might be knowing the secret" so I would sincerely listen to advice given to me by the older folks on what changes I needed to make in my life to ensure a successful relationship.

An advice I got when my divorce proceedings were on:

"The husband should always be the dominating one in a relationship, the girl should ALWAYS keep quiet no matter how angry she is."

I would nod my head and soak in all the advice thinking she's an elderly woman, she must be knowing the ways of life and how to handle relationships. At a vulnerable point in your life, you even start believing such BS. Then I hear her cussing her husband as if there's no tomorrow.

Another lady told me "if you speak nicely you can get your way with anyone". Then you hear her talking harshly and ordering around just about anyone in her vicinity to get her way. I think a more proper advice from her would have been "if by talking nicely at first they don't listen to you, then scare the hell out of them".

Actions do speak louder than words. You can advise just about anyone to change. Maybe you're asking them to change for your own selfish needs or maybe it's for genuine reasons or maybe you just want to dish out advice that is politically correct even if it's practically impossible to do. I mean when someone advises you to take a deep breathe and count till 100 when you're angry -- does anyone really do that? After trying to rectify myself based on feedback from people, I realized I am getting nowhere. It gets difficult to understand who really means what they say and who don't. Sometimes you can't help but wonder if it's really you who need to change or them.

So for now, all changes are on hold. I am happy being me and it's going to be that way for a long time to come. Much easier this way ;)

10 Random Facts.. About Me!

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 07:05:00 +0000

I haven't done a tag in a looooong time. When I saw this tag on someone's blog, I just couldn't resist taking it up. Another excuse is that it's time for me to blog again and I don't know what to write about. Tags make it so much easier. Not facing the dreaded writer's block, but simply not getting the time to think out a topic and write convincingly about it. What better than a tag to help you out in such a situation right? So here goes...

I love surprising people with gifts. It's so worth it to see happy faces in the end, so I don't mind splurging a bit when it comes to gifts. My new year gifts to my near and dear ones this time around included a Samsung Galaxy phone, a Samsung Galaxy tab among other things. Even though I was mildly tempted to keep those goodies for myself, good sense prevailed at the right time! Mom says I select gifts most apt for each person but this was not always the case. I remember in college I went ahead and purchased a big lamp (of all things) with hearts, stars and a teddy bear on it for my bf back then. Everything that symbolizes romanticism was ON that lamp. It was hideous but I purchased it just for the hearts and the stars and to convey the message across :P The bf was totally embarrassed (needless to say) and he tucked it away in his cupboard or someplace where no one can see it. A gift gone totally wrong! Now I just laugh when I think of those times.
I am not much of a people's person. I am nice and cordial to everyone I meet but I am very selective when it comes to who I choose to get close to. A lot of people have gone outright mad at me for this but then that's the way I am.
I love eating burger with rice! Or rice with burger :D Not the cutlet like burgers you get here in Kerala but the actual ones. My sister got me two packets of those when she came down from Dubai and I finished them all within 2 weeks. And I am left craving for more :(
I go through these phases where I get all excited about a new thing I am about to do. Change is the only constant for me. There was a phase where I wanted to learn all those exotic dishes and I promised myself I would try out something new every weekend. Well, that phase surely got over a long time back, or let's say it got over even before it began :)
I also go through these phases where I start complaining a lot! But near and dear ones have adapted to that now by keeping quiet & ignoring me mostly like how parents patiently wait for their kids to finish throwing tantrums.
I & my sis have hardly used public transport! We have always been chauffeured in a car to places we wanted to go to. In college I felt incredibly out of place because of this because no one else ever arrived in a car! It used to embarrass me. My parents especially my mom was super protective and terrified of us using the public transport in spite of knowing that there are many people out there who use it. It was a relief when I started using the college bus and I started to travel like the rest of them did. Because of this, I am very inept when it comes to understanding or using any public transport till date. And I'm not proud to say this :(
I am not too fond of dull weather or extremely rainy days. Especially in Kerala. Where rain is equivalent to power cuts. I prefer the warm, sunny days. Not too humid. You get the picture.
Till I was 25 I never really had any career ambitions as such. I never understood about being passionate about your work. I am a late bloomer that way. Now I simply love what I do and I feel it is so necessary to feel that way about your work, because think about it -- you are going to spend more than half of your life working. If you don't like what you do, that's such a waste of life right?
Till I was 20 I had a major eating disorder as in I was never hungry. I used to go to college after drinking just a glass of milk, used to skip lunch, ate very little food when I came back and that was it. Probably explains why I was size zero then :P And now I just can't get enough of food. Guess I am making up for all those lost years.
I think a lottttt ! I am the female version of Aamir Khan who thinks a dozen times before saying or doing anything. I get crazy when I think too much and in the process make others crazy too -- it's my speciality :D

I would like to tag anyone who would like to take up this tag! Especially Amith, Abhinav, Annie and Madhuri who I want to know more about :)

Pick Up The Phone, Man!

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 18:14:00 +0000

I'm not a phone person.. and I guess I will never be one. Yes, don't get shocked. Girls like me do exist! Over the years, people who have tried to call me have given up totally frustrated, sent me messages (even abusive ones) of how 'cruel' I am because I didn't take their phone calls, have stopped talking to me etc. Makes you think how relationships are so dependent on phone calls nowadays. Before it used to be 'out of sight, out of mind' and nowadays it's more like 'out of telephoning, out of mind'. I love meeting people for real more than through the phone or even online. It has always been like that -- provided the person and I are on the same wavelength.

Most of the times, I never pick up the phone. Reasons being:

I'm too busy (I'm not kidding - I'm always working and my family can vouch for that)
I'm sleeping (When I'm not working or socializing, I can be found snoring away to glory)
I am not in the mood to talk

These rules however do not apply to family members or best friends (coz of obvious reasons :P).

Now the complaints have risen to such a high (I'm sure even our government won't be able to compare with the number of complaints I get), that I have decided to give away my phone number to only a selected number of people now:

People who will get this 'weird' trait of mine -- that hello, there are people in the world who don't like talking on their phones 24x7
People who won't be offended if I don't pick up their calls (I wonder if they exist :D)
People who are as weird as me, or who are as busy as me (you know, coz they are too busy to make calls themselves :P)
People who make calls only to convey something important (aah, I love this group; their calls last only for 2-3 minutes)

When I usually tell people that I am not such a phone person, they go "heinnnnnn? not a phone person?" (rolling eyes here) and they end up thinking I'm bluffing. So now, I just convey this info and let them think what they want to without me lending them reasons on why I am this way. When you end up thinking you're a lone rider when it comes to things like this, you meet someone like Judy Balan who feels exactly the same about phone calls. And you tend to feel a bit better. Makes you wonder if it's a Virgo trait. Hmm..

Now before I sign off, I want to wish you guys a very VERY happy new year in advance :) It has been a good year for me personally and professionally and I hope it was the same for you all. Keep smiling and have a rocking 2013! Cheers :)

On The Road

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 16:26:00 +0000

I had started driving lessons some time ago but as most of you might be knowing (those who are following me on Facebook anyway) it was only recently that I got my driver's license. Reason being I could take my lessons only during weekends because of work. And trust me, taking ANY sort of lessons during the weekend is something I am going to do away with in the future. There were times I wanted to hang around, do some shopping, go for the movies or do something entertaining on my off days but these plans had to be sidelined or canceled out because of... well.. my driving lessons. Those who say driving is a stress-free affair should come meet me. I am improving each day (drove 30 kms the other day, yay me!) but driving is something which has not become "stress-free" for me as yet. I drive with such utmost concentration, I'm fairly sure that if you were to look closely you will be able to see fumes coming out of my head. I even get dreams nowadays of driving my car straight into potholes.

After years of avoiding driving, I finally made up my mind to go for it and I was all set for my learner's license test. The instructor had told me it would be downright easy and that least preparation would be required. Keeping that in mind, I just breezily went through my manual and landed up at the RTO the next day only to find that the other aspiring drivers were preparing ardently making it appear like a college/school exam. It was like entering college all over again with the hall filled up with students doing their last minute cramming.

A: "Da.. what is the maximum speed allowed for private vehicles in Kerala?"
B: "80!"
A: "Ayye.. no no! 70!"
B: "Shit man!!!"

Getting the learner's license was easy, but now came the tough part. It was a bright sunny (and terribly humid) day when I started my actual driving classes. More than driving, I was concerned about whether or not driving 'saar' will allow me to switch on the a/c in his car. It was blazing hot! The other students in the car didn't seem bothered about the weather at all... and they all looked like they had some sort of internal air cooler switched on. In between all this weather cursing, I didn't realize my turn had come and I quickly headed to the driving seat.

Instructor: "So, do you know where the clutch is?"
Me: "No"
Instructor: "Do you know WHAT a clutch is?"

Me: "Err, no" (this is where I entered a flashback mode thinking whether I had been taught all this at school or college)

...And the instructor just rambled on about the technical aspects of driving -- digging deep into the engines, RPMs, gears, clutches, brakes, their mechanisms and how they work the way they do. Most of it bounced right off my head but he seemed to be enjoying the teaching part so much that I never even bothered to stop him. In my later classes when I found out that he was giving too much theory, I stopped him and said "Please Babu ettan! I'm a girl! I don't want the boring part. I only want to learn how to drive carefully on the road!" He just chuckled away to glory. Maybe I just confirmed his belief that girls are not that into cars as compared to guys.

Coming back to my driving, the only objects that freaked me out on the road during the first few days were heavy sized vehicles. They more or less appeared like monsters to me. My grip on the steering wheel would tighten and I would only breathe out when these "monsters" safely passed me by. But that all changed with practice. Now I'm scared of other "things". They own the road, mind you! They are the kings and they don't care about signals, traffic or any rules or regulations. They come and go as they please. They jump right in front of your car caring two hoots about whether you're an experienced driver or a noob. I'm talking about the cows, elephants, buffaloes, goats, monkeys, dogs, and other animals. There was a moment when I encountered a cow right in the middle of a very narrow road and there I was waiting for it to pass by. It just stood there and stared. I stared back and I waited.. and waited. This is where vehicle horns come to use mind you. In fact, this is what horns are actually meant for! To scare away animals off the street. Who would've thought eh?

P.S: Since I am not a fan of long posts that drag endlessly, I'm putting a stop to this one right now. Next post is all about taking the much dreaded H, the practice that followed and the big test day! Stay tuned..

A New Love

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 16:21:00 +0000

Ever since I bought myself this little beauty, I have been restless and dreaming quite a bit about her. Wait.. Should I change its gender now that I have been dreaming about it? Hmmm..

Jokes apart, here's a pic of my new i10 Sportz! Whenever I look at this blushing red beauty, a smile appears on my face. Maybe because it reflects back my own hard work and maybe because it is THE most expensive thing I have purchased till date. I'm so proud even if it's just another car in the crowd.

I have started driving around with dad in tow and it is the ultimate feeling of independence. This coming from someone who used to absolutely dread the Indian roads and who used to think driving is not for her. It was eventually me telling myself "if others can do it, why can't I?" that led me to learn driving. That's the same mantra everyone should follow by the way - tell yourself that you're just as damned good as everyone else out there. You will see many more achievements coming your way THIS way!

Now Dhanya's driving requires a whole new post altogether so I will keep the comical scenes for another time. Too sleepy and tired at the moment after having a hearty dinner of Pulao and Chicken. Zzzzz-ing already!

Happy Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 09:10:00 +0000

Dhanya one year back:

1. Weighed a measly 44 kilos. Culprits: depression, loss of appetite and insomnia.
2. Felt more or less like a zombie.
3. Used to stare into open space for hours on end wondering where her life is going to head.
4. No job. Lack of self-confidence.
5. Used to think "why does everything bad only happen to me?".
6. Mentally torn & humiliated after apologizing to people even if I was not at fault.
7. Used to get angry easily.

... Basically I used to think my life is over. Those who have been through that phase in a relationship would be able to understand this more than anyone else. It's so easy to say "get over it" but the breaking of a marriage is tough for people like me -- who always used to believe marriages are forever. But overcome I did!

Dhanya now:

1. I'm not going to reveal how much I weigh now :P But yeah, I am MUCH healthier, wealthier & wiser. Reasons: Happiness (yes, just that).
2. Never felt more livelier and enthusiastic about living life before.
3. I have more of a clue where my life is heading. I know now that there's no dead end :)
4. Two jobs. Both which I love. And which earns me well. What more can I ask for in the professional front?
5. Now I think "everything that happens, happens for the best".
6. I realize you don't have to apologize to anyone for being the person you are. You just have to surround yourself with the right kind of people who will understand you exactly for the way you are.
7. Angry? Whazzat? :D

So all those who are going through a bad phase. Hang in there! There's always ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just remember it's not your fault and that in a relationship it takes two to tango. If you tried your best to make it work, then hats off to you and your commitment. It's very difficult to find people who are willing to communicate and sort things out in a relationship, so be pleased that you are in that clan of mature people who value relationships.

The Violin Player

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Wed, 16 May 2012 08:27:00 +0000

He plays the violin beautifully. I met him for the first time at a family friend’s mehndi function and was totally blown away by how effortlessly he played out the most beautiful of melodies. After each performance, I had to give him a standing ovation, and he would smile back appreciatively. Friends teased and taunted about how he kept looking at me and smiling, but I haughtily dismissed them all off.

So yeah without really keeping the mystery for last and going for a “I was talking about this guy, who did you think it was?” (a la the new Priyanka Chopra ad), I am talking about the famous musician Balabhaskar here. It felt awesome hearing him play from such a close proximity, and on top of that a small group of girls (including yours truly) made it a point to scream at our loudest of voices and give him all the applause he needed for rendering all compositions so beautifully. He would smile generously at us after each performance (except that one time when he himself realized that he didn’t play up to the mark and requested us not to clap or scream by showing the “stop” signal). So our group of girls stopped clapping midway and pretended that we were swatting away mosquitoes instead. We are classy people. We know exactly when a rendition is not up to the mark and when it is. Yet we kept looking for more “stop” signals. Just to make sure of our own classiness..

Friend (to me): “Go get his autograph no? You’re a big fan right?”

Me: “Running for autograph and all? Ayye… so not me!”

Another friend comes in and announces she’s going to get his autograph.

Me: “Yeah! What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”.

Just to give her company mind you!

So I stand there swooning and telling him “you’re the best!”. And he gives his Chinese eyed smile to me and everyone else. Couldn’t help thinking “Does he ever stop smiling? Don’t his cheeks hurt?” As impulsive as I’m, I wanted to blurt out the question, but I refrained. Thank God for small mercies. He then went on to tell us how our little group was the most energetic of the lot that day and how it felt really nice to see us enjoying his songs so much. That was really sweet of him to say all that considering we thought we acted completely drunk..

Then I noticed something in his hand…

A handbag…

A PINK handbag…

A PINK ladies handbag…

What the… (*insert Arnav Singh Raizada tone from Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon*)

And this pretty petite lassy comes up from behind him, smiles at all of us and we are informed that this Pink-kurti clad (I think the color is going to make me sick from now) is Balabhaskar’s wife. At that moment I could hear his own rendition of "tu hi re" from Bombay ringing in my ears.

Another one bites the dust.

Oh well…

As you know, the show must go on…

Next please!

P.S: For all those who haven't seen Balabhaskar perform, here's a video (yup, it's tu hi re from Bombay).

P.P.S: The video is not mine. I so wish I had taken a video that day..

Compatibility vs. Adjustment

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Tue, 01 May 2012 12:47:00 +0000

How much does one “adjust” in a relationship? Does compatibility not matter at all?

I remember when my marriage proposals were going on, I kept stressing on the importance of compatibility, that electric chemistry between two people. When you meet or interact with that special someone, something should just click within you. Unfortunately, our Indian society (or most of it) does not understand this concept. Girls especially are just required to get along with the other half no matter what. If not, they are considered bold, head-strong – traits which are not exactly considered complimentary for an Indian girl. The perfect Indian girl should bear anything (and I mean EVERYTHING) that comes her way with a smile on her face. The perfect Indian girl should take abuses (mental & physical) from her spouse and not complain about it. The perfect Indian girl should be looking oh-so-awesome even when she’s dead tired from housework. The perfect Indian girl should never ever whine about anything, should never ever get angry or God forbid even show it. You get the drift.

Before marriage, you end up thinking you will be what you are and no one can stop you. But somehow it doesn’t work that way. Nowadays when I see unmarried girls saying “I don’t need to change anything about me. The guy will accept me the way I am even after marriage”, I can’t help but sympathize with them. No one, I repeat NO ONE remains the same after marriage. You adjust a little and the so does the other person and in between all these adjustments you change a little. For some people the changes and adjustments required are so drastic that you lose your identity in between all of it. That’s when you know your relationship is going downhill.

I have always stressed on compatibility and after going through personal experience and going through some others as well I feel this is one of the most important spices that contribute to the zest & flavor of a relationship. No compatibility means no similarity in thoughts which means no passion! And how can a relationship survive without even a bit of passion? This goes out to all the people out there – learn to trust your instincts. If you feel that compatibility is the most important factor and you go against your own belief and succumb to what others tell you (in my case I was told “clicking” with someone isn’t important, you just have to see whether he’s a nice guy.. and I fell for that), you will end up where I am today. Don’t fall into pressure, don’t be afraid of going against the norms if it makes you happy. In the end it’s your life you’ve got to live and not theirs. I’ve learnt my lesson and I'm never ever falling for something I don't believe in ever again...

The Trip That Was

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 05:17:00 +0000

February had been a brilliant month. March even better! I don't get time to interact on social networking sites or get online on chat as before -- work responsibilities increasing, taking up & learning new things in life etc etc. But I can't still seem to neglect this blog for too long. So here I am!

The Bahrain trip was a crackler. I never had such a great time in recent times -- as in, I always had something or the other to do and I LOVE having something or the other to do especially when I'm on vacation! Being idle and lazing around is not my idea of a vacation somehow.

Usually the youngsters (in my family friends group) tend to get together only at parties with our parents tagged along. But this time around, it was different. A nice kind of different. We got together (minus our parents) and talked, talked, talked. It's amazing how simple conversations can turn your evenings from dull & drab to lively. The right kind of people always make any given atmosphere light-hearted & fun.

A special mention goes to the Menon & Ramachandran family for being such perfect hosts (and for tolerating me so wonderfully ;)). Couldn't have asked for better people to stay with! Feels just like being at home. Special thanks go to these people -

Sundar uncle - For being an absolutely awesome host and a delight to talk to! Chatting with him is entertaining to say the least. Plus he gave me a gift. *Shows off the Rado watch* :D And anyone close to me knows how much I adore gifts! Surprise ones at that.

Pushpa aunty - For being so sweet & considerate. She stuffed me up with her delicacies and also oodles of home-made sausages & burgers coz she knows I absolutely missed hogging them in Kerala! Yeah, you do get the cheap quality sausages and burgers here but they are nothing compared to the taste of Sadia products!

Deeju - Numerous crazy talks, basketball games, gymming (:P), 'flop movie' watching, imitating others. Need I say more on how much I enjoyed her company?

Deepa chech - Right now when I think of her, her chilly chicken comes to mind. It was mindblowing.. and D chech, I have told that to mom too ;)

Raghav - Deepa's cute little boy who was initially extremely shy when it came to interacting with me but after a few days got close to the point of ordering me around "come here!" or "pick that!" or "don't do that!". But I had no problem whatsoever dancing to his tunes..

Ram uncle - For being so sweet and telling San to make sure to drop me at Sundar uncle's place and then only leave. So fatherly!

J aunty - For taking me to City Center, for her morning 'energy drinks' (:P), Farmville lessons and also her numerous witty comments whilst driving!

Rahul - For showing us all such a good time at Trader Vic's and afterwards :) And yes, for paying for all of it :P This chauffeur is one of a kind.

Rajani - She's the sweetest person you will ever meet! Ended up chatting with her till 4 A.M in the morning when I stayed over at her place.

The only bad that happened during this trip was the movie - Woman in Black. I know it's getting rave reviews, but we ended up making fun of almost everything ("look.. the ghost has loose motion", "did you figure out what the story is yet?", "we should try that out with our neighbors - staring through the window with a wide-eyed expression").

I also got to meet up with my beautiful San (who was very much pregnant at the time and is now a proud mommy to the oh-so-cute Nainika!) & we gup-shupped away about things over a cuppa & scrumptious choco cake. She got me a gift from Debenhams and I as usual forgot to get her a gift. Yes, I know I keep preaching about how I love surprise gifts and stuff, but when it comes to giving I practically suck. But then my friends haven't abandoned me for that, so thanks guys ;)

It feels good to have visited Bahrain after two whole years. The days went by wayyy too fast. Have no idea when I will be able to visit the place next but whatever moments I spent there are to be cherished for a long time to come. The nostalgia that I felt when I visited the compound I used to stay in, going to the cold store nearby where I used to get my snacks in bundles, seeing my flat now occupied by some other family.. all bittersweet moments. This is why people like to revisit the places they grew up in - to experience that warm feeling. When you see that the place has developed a little, you puff up with pride even though you are not even remotely responsible for its advancement whatsoever. You feel happy.

Now I am back in India and not regretting it. I love this place even with the mosquitoes, power cuts, corruption and what not. India's liveliness is unmatched. But I guess there's a part of me which is still Bahraini, and that part is only appeased when I visit Bahrain now and then. This very same sob story is shared by many others who have left Bahrain. Bahrain's magic is such. I love you Bahrain. Have and always will.

Bahrain!

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 10:58:00 +0000

I am off for a much deserved break to Bahrainnnnnn (the place I was brought up in)! I have so many fond memories there, and it's nearly after 2 years that I am going to visit the place. Can't wait to see if anything has changed.. and also can't wait to meet near & dear ones (sansu, are you listening? ;).

.. And I'm flying premium class! Woohoo! It has been ages since I have flown business class, and this was the perfect opportunity. I'm traveling alone, had saved up more than necessary, and well.. I deserve traveling & living in style (the whole pampering session) after a disastrous 2011! Dad was adamant that I save this money instead of splurging on premium class tickets, but mom & sis were all for it. I mean, I travel far less than normal people, I shop less as compared to other girls (far far less actually), so it's only right that I spend my money somewhere.

Planning to travel more often now. This is a start. I think this is an important aspect that Elizabeth Gilbert missed in the title of her book - the travel part. It should've been "Eat, Pray, Love & Travel" - a perfect concoction to heal any wound :-)

Will be back soon.

Till then, enjoy these cutlets & green chutney I made for you guys :D

Should I Be Worried?

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:34:00 +0000

Shortly after I wrote my first post on how I'm getting divorced soon, a blogger messaged me asking 'I'm going to get into an arranged marriage soon. Should I be worried?'. First of all, my purpose of writing that post wasn't to scare people, but since the question came up here's the answer anyway.

You Should Be Worried If...

1. You're totally incompatible with your partner. Of course, partners need not always be perfect, but there's a saying 'Appreciate the similarities, respect the differences'. If you are not able to do that, and if you force your partner into thinking the same way that you do - then get ready for friction - whether you like it or not.

2. You're an egoistic person. Ego has known to kill relationships - don't let your's bring something so precious as a relationship down in the dumps.

3. You're boring. Do you tend to take things way too seriously? Do you start yelling 'What? Why? Where? How?" at the drop of a hat? Not done.

4. You're an old fashioned person expecting a modern partner. Please stick to people who believe in the very same thoughts as you do. There are some who will like a person based purely on looks and then think "chalo.. let me say yes.. later on I will try to change the person by hook or by crook". Learn to accept the person as they are. Small adjustments are necessary in any relationship, but that doesn't mean you try to totally change your better half.

5. You're a person who believes only in 'take' and no 'give'. It's just not done if a relationship is one-sided where a person has to keep sacrificing for the other's happiness. It's all about 'give & take'. If you are not ready to give at all, don't get into a relationship.

6. You tend to get violent when angry. Are you not able to control your anger? Maybe it's time to hit those anger management classes. Some people tend to get physically abusive too when angry. Sad...

7. You're not emotionally, physically & financially ready to get into a marriage.

You need not be worried...

1. If you love your other half to death. All the adjustments, compromising will then come automatically.

2. If you believe that marriage is a life long commitment (your partner should feel the same way too), and your main goal is to last through the good times as well as the bad; to live many many years together. When both you and your partner have that kind of a mindset, my kind of a situation will not happen to you.

3. You make adjustments according to the situation (goes for both guys & girls).

4. You do not incline to physical abuse when angry (very very important point!).

Well that's it I guess! On a positive note, divorce cases in India are still very much rare. So don't judge things by other people's experiences. It need not happen to you. Things need not get so messy. It's my destiny and I'm embracing it with open arms.. because of this - today, I am a happy & healthy person (touch wood). I rather be single than be stuck in a very VERY wrong relationship.

To My Sun and My Moon

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 05:45:00 +0000

Once upon a time there lived this girl called Dhanya who absolutely used to cringe at the sight of crying (and need I mention pooping?) babies. If a baby puked or soiled their diapers in the sitting room, you would find Dhanya running away to the bedroom. If the baby started crying in the bedroom, Dhanya would slowly tiptoe towards the sitting room -- you get the picture. Now many many years have passed (well, not so much, I'm not that old yet) and the story now seems to have changed. Dhanya is not the same Dhanya, and babies don't make her uneasy or uncomfortable anymore. How did this happen you might ask? (Note - Even if you didn't ask yourself that -- just for the sake of this post, please do). Stay calm folks, for this sensational story is about to be disclosed.

On November 20th 2001 my first jigar da tukda entered this world -- my niece. I didn't cringe as much but the pooping/crying story remained. I remember dad informing me about her arrival in the wee hours of the night. I met her and was absolutely mesmerized by how she looked - so delicate, innocence personified. I remember looking forward to coming back from my classes (I was still in school then) to meet her, pick her up and get enchanted by her gurgles and how soft, smooth she felt. It's a feeling that cannot be expressed in words. But man, was I in love ! She's now going to be 10 years old (big girl now) and I can't help feel how fast time has fled by. Nakshu says such grown-up things now that I do a double-take and go "Wow, when did you get so big?" with plain disbelief. As of recently, she said something like "Don't worry mema, everything will be alright" and I could feel my heart swell up with so much of love and admiration for my little angel who is not-so little anymore.

Then on Feb 16th 2010, my second jigar da tukda made his presence felt - my nephew. He didn't appear delicate as such -- he looked stronger and sturdier as compared to his elder sister. But it was love at first sight for the second time around! With Yadhu, I became accustomed to changing diapers, cleaning him up, giving him food, rocking him to sleep, giving him a bath, getting up in the wee hours of the morning and all that jazz especially when my sister got bedridden with pneumonia. The tiring part was that he too got sick at the same time and I had to carry him around most of the time. It made me look like a zombie somehow and I wondered how my sister was able to handle 2 kids in the house. He's the happiest baby I know and as of currently his interests include food, staring at cute girls, food and more staring at cute girls (strictly in that order!).

I cannot define the joy these two bring me. They ignite my maternal instincts (you've got to be an aunt to believe that) and I'm awfully protective about them. I want only the best for them, and I hope the future only has the bestest of the best plans laid out for them. If not, the so-called 'future' will have to deal with my infamous tantrums! ;)

To Nakshu and Yadhu (my Sun and my Moon).. you will forever remain my sweet little babies! With lots of love - your mema.

A Month Filled with Surprises

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 14:10:00 +0000

The month of November was special. My sister's and niece's birthdays both fell on this very month and I took it upon myself to surprise them with gifts. The most difficult step in the whole process was finding a reliable online shopping site which offered their services in Dubai. I am familiar with a number of shopping sites in India, but finding one in the UAE was no mean feat. Eventually I did find one and I was pretty thrilled that it worked out the way it was meant to be. Sis and niece both loved their gifts -- so mission was a full, roaring success!

Gift to sis -

Gift for my niece (gift basket with an assortment of chocolates and games) -

Even though we are extremely lazy when it comes to sending over gifts -- it is totally worth the effort because a) your family or friends would be least expecting them from you since you're overseas b) for the happiness it brings you once they receive the surprise!

These gift surprises apart, I've got a lil surprise of myself to share too! I would say it's a surprise because I was least expecting to pass the exam :P But pass I did with an 88% in the fundamental exam and a 94% in the advanced level exam. I'm now a Google-certified professional folks! This exam is apparently the same type of exam that Google employees have to take for AdWords each year. So it feels quite awesome to know that I have passed something that the Googlers had to go through themselves. So yay me! :)

Hope all of you are doing great. Will touch base again soon!

The End.. For a New Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 05:10:00 +0000

Almost everyone must be knowing right now -- well, people who keep a close tag of me anyway.

If you have noticed, I haven't talked about my married life of late. Reason being, I am on that 'singledom' path again. I avoided talking about it till now because I was hoping (till 2 months back) that things would get sorted out. But apparently it didn't, and I am thankful because I don't believe a woman has to sacrifice her self-respect, her identity or go begging to someone to save her marriage. My parents, my close friends, my near and dear ones are in fact quite relieved that I'm getting away from something that is not worth the intense pain that tagged along with it.

This might be too personal a topic to be included in a blog. But if I had taken the effort to include a "How I Met the Nair Boy", I should also include that life need not always be hunky dory for everyone. Many girls wrote to me saying that they started believing in the concept of arranged marriage from that very post. I dreaded to write this entry because of that very reason -- because I don't want these girls to lose trust in marriage. Another reason for writing this post might be to pave a clear path for my own future without feeling the need to hide anything. Probably if I get into another relationship, I want the guy to get the respect and love he deserves without me being vague about it.

I do not blame anyone for this, and I am not going to type down the reasons that lead to the termination of so sacred a relationship within a span of only one year. I and my family hardly talk about it nowadays because obviously we have more better and happier topics to discuss.

Thanksgiving day is already over, but I can't help but feel thankful to a couple of people who have been my life support. My family, my best friends, family friends, "A" (we are not on talking terms now, but I SO appreciate whatever you did for me during my initial separation phase), my close friends, people who extended their support unconditionally even if they didn't know me in person, and so many more people. Because of them I realize, even if I lost one, I gained much more over the past few months :) So a big THANK YOU and a warm hug to all of you...

P.S - Comments are disabled on this one. Don't message/chat with me asking for details either. Would be much appreciated :)

P.P.S - Ending on a positive note, I made a donation to WFP (United Nations World Food Programme) last month. It felt sooooo good! :) I urge you guys to make a small contribution in whatever way you can to help those less-fortunate people out there. A friend recommended two Indian organizations where you can help kids out (sponsor them) - worldvision.in and giveindia.org. As Carl Karcher would put it - "If the money we donate helps one child or can ease the pain of one parent, those funds are well spent."

One Happy Lady

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 10:47:00 +0000

I haven't blogged in quite some time, so here are few updates from my part -

I "sponsored" a stay for my parents at one of the coolest hotels at Kochi last week. It feels SO good to pamper them, and pay for them after all the lavish spending they have done for me over the years. It means a lot to me, and by their happy looks I can assume it meant a lot to them too!

Pranced around Oberon mall doing absolutely nothing but window shopping and *ahem* some sightseeing too ;)

Caught up with a Malayalam movie "Indian Rupee" at Cinemax Kochi after a long time. A different movie. Me likey!

Had steak with mushroom sauce for the first time. I've always wanted to try it (quite experimental with food), and last week I got the opportunity. Delish I tell you. Yummm!

Spent a lot on new books -- marketing & business books *coughs*

Savored the beauty of M.G. Road with gelatos, rolled parathas and other goodies in hand. How I love the rush, the crowd and the atmosphere in its entirety at Kochi even at 9 in the evening. Did I mention I love the food? ;)

A nice bonding time with colleagues and friends. The time spent sharing corny jokes and laughing out loud all carefree -- priceless!

A new phone -- I'm now a BlackBerry girl ;) And yeah, a LOT of messaging through the BlackBerry messenger nowadays.

Some surprise gifts - giving & receiving has never been this much worthwhile!

A new all-time high in my online marketing payout. Yeyy! Whereas my day job is getting more interesting by the day. *touch wood*

And yesterday, I got a wee bit emotional and shed a few happy tears because I was so grateful to God for showing me this phase in life where I feel SO SO happy and back-to-life all thanks to the absolutely beautiful people in my life. Everything seems to be going perfectly. He brings the right kind of people at the right time at the right place to show you the way if you're lost. When you're down and out and if you're sincere, He WILL put that smile back on your face. And guess what? I'm smillllllinnnnggggggg... out wide ! :)

Happy Diwali all of you. Stay safe and stay happy :)

All Set for Adopting

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 04:19:00 +0000

If you read through my previous post, you might already be knowing that my grandmom passed away almost a month back. My mom now and then likes to relive all her childhood memories she has of her mother - something people tend to do when someone near and dear passes away. During one such talk, she got emotional and told something that touched my heart, rather pierced it -

"Now I am an orphan"

"What are you talking about?" - I asked concerned.

Mom - "I don't have a mom or a dad now. That makes me an orphan right?"

Me - "Hmmm. But why sad? I will adopt you! And dad too! Both of you!"

Mom (looking very pleased now) - "So that will make you my Dhanyamma!"

Me (smiling) - "Yes totally!"

Somehow that one line pleased my mom so much that she makes it a point to inform people as often as possible - "You know Dhanya told me that she'll adopt me". It's so cute to see how parents react sometimes to what their kids say - no matter what age they are in and no matter how simple a dialogue may seem. Small precious moments in life! :)

Not All Birthdays Need To Be Happy or Worth Celebrating

noreply@blogger.com (Dhanya) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 14:09:00 +0000

I didn't celebrate my birthday this time around. Reason being my grandmother (mom's mom) passed away two days ago. Reality is yet to sink in and somehow I find it hard to believe that I won't be able to ever see her again when I visit my ancestral house. We cousins are forever teasing her (in a fun way, of course) of how she "never feels hungry" and then goes on to eat around 5-6 idlis for supper with ease. She had a peaceful death -- and we are thankful to God that she was taken away without feeling any pain.

I didn't even realize it was my birthday today till I got those 12 o' clock messages and calls. Funny how life changes. Before, I used to literally remind everyone that my birthday is coming up and here I'm at a phase where others have to remind me about my birthday!

I was able to see all of my cousins at the funeral. When we touched her feet, we realized we won't be able to do this anymore -- and all the emotions just came out like a flood. She has been a wonderful grandmother. I haven't heard her raise her voice at anyone, including her children. She was a very bold woman who took everything in her stride when grandfather passed away. During most of the day, she was alone in the house, only with an old aunt (who happens to be very timid) for company. But never once did she ever complain that she's scared of living at such a desolate place. I admire her for this very courage. She used to sing like a nightingale (a quality which has not unfortunately transcended across generations :)), and I remember how I and Pri (my cousin) used to sing along with her whenever she started singing. A favorite being - "Vara Veena". It's a beautiful memory with a dream-like quality to it. One of my favorite memories of her is the way she used to call me "Ponma"(deer) whenever I called her "Grandma". She apparently found the word "grandma" very funny.

We all are taking comfort in the fact that now she is at a place where her true love is - her husband. They were meant for each other even if they were poles apart. My grandfather was a well-learnt man as far as I know and can talk about anything under the Sun. My grandmother, on the other hand, loved talking about people and not about current events as such. He was a strict disciplinarian whereas she was disorganized, sluggish in a way. We all were dead scared of grandpa, but showed no hesitancy in teasing our dear old grandma. Our grandfather used to give us little gifts like gems and poppins which used to make us smile with glee, whereas grandma didn't believe in giving gifts as such. There were so many differences, and yet they lived peacefully together.

We did cry our hearts out, but then realized she might just not like the fact that we are so sad here without her. She would be happy considering the fact that all her grandchildren got together again after such a long time -- each one of us being busy with marriage, work, school, college etc. All of us got together for a round-table conference of sorts and chatted our heart out about everything. We had a look at all our old pics together, talked about how color blindness exists only in the male folk of our family (weird but true!), and just about anything that connects us together. I'm sure our grandparents are looking at us from up there and realizing now THIS is a type of happy joint family that is very hard to find nowadays. I'm glad I'm part of one such rare joint family.

Getting back to my birthday, I wasn't really bothered about it and thanked everyone cordially for all their wishes. But yes, a number of posts/messages did make me feel a bit better. Unexpected wishes came in form of a popular RJ, VJ and hot-shot photographer respectively. I was expecting these people to shy away from wishing others in public, but I was wrong.

Sandeep Balan again managed to surprise me. And why wouldn't he? He is into marketing and very well knows what appeals to the public! :) He made MTV VJ Jose Covaco wish me, yet again!

To everyone who is reading this post - instead of wishing me, please say a silent prayer for my grandmother tonight. It would be the best birthday gift you could ever give me! Peace.