Lord, I perceive my soul deeply guilty of envy. Dispossess me of this bad spirit and turn my envy into holy emulation. Yea, make other men’s gifts to be mine by making me thankful to thee for them. Through Jesus our Lord, Amen.      

                                                                                  —Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)

“Dispossess of me of this bad spirit” is a fine prayer for those of us who battle the green-eyed monsters of envy and jealousy. These evil twins seem to pop up any time our little egos get bumped by the success of another. Oh, sure, outwardly we may appear all smiles, but inwardly the slow boil of envy begins. As for me, I can literally feel it grow into negative thinking about the one who, in my mind, has outdone me in one form or another. And if it’s left untouched, I will be overcome by this raging fire within. And so will you. How many staff relationships have been destroyed or missional teams disturbed because of envy? Too many.

The life of Saul, King of Israel, is a biblical example that has taught me what unchecked envy will do to corrode the soul. Saul’s relationship with David did not begin with jealousy. Much to the contrary. David was the one God used to get Saul and the armies of Israel out of an embarrassing mess with Goliath. Following the great victory, Saul gave David his own daughter in marriage, pardoned David’s family from taxes, and invited David to live in the palace with the king. And when Saul noticed how successful the young soldier was in every assignment given to him, he gave David a high rank in the army.

But only verses away from this fine beginning, the envy monster attacked Saul, and it was all downhill from there. In 1 Samuel 18:8-9 we read, “Saul was very angry; this refrain galled him. ‘They have credited David with tens of thousands,’ he thought, ‘but me with only thousands.’ … And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.” And the jealous eye turned to a death wish against this young hero.

We live in a competitive world. We will likely never be the very best at anything. There will always be those who are better-looking, better communicators, better writers, better parents, better singles, better ministers of the gospel. Envy knows no bounds. Where has envy bitten you lately? And how can you break free? I can only tell you my own journey: First, I must own the jealousy or envy completely and early through confession. I have learned not to give it even a moment to grow. Secondly, I actually thank God for the very quality in the person that tempted me to be jealous or envious. I think that is what Fuller is getting at when he says, “Yea, make other men’s gifts to be mine by making me thankful to thee for them.”

Take a gracefilled moment to be sure your spirit is free and clear of any envy or jealousy. If it’s been lurking around your inner world for a while, it will be a battle to be free. But pursue with diligence the steps I have suggested, and you will regain your freedom and be all the more prepared when these nasty twins come calling again.

Considering the health of our souls is an activity we can ignore for far too long, to our own peril.

We don’t need to have an advanced degree in theology to recall men and women in the scriptures who simply turned a deaf ear to the cries of their shriveling souls:

• Abram—when he slept with his wife’s maidservant just after a remarkable encounter with God.
• Lot—dwelling inside the evil cities of Sodom and Gomorrah with no apparent concern for doing so.
• Rebekah—scheming to get Jacob the blessing when God had already promised it to him.
• David—staying home from war when he should have been leading his men, then taking a second glance at a married woman and setting tragedy into motion for his entire family.
• A Pharisee—who had Jesus at his dinner table but was too confident in his own righteousness to bend the knee.
• Peter—refusing to listen to Jesus’ warning, then denying him three times, in tears.
• Me—when I allow thoughts of jealousy and envy to turn my heart cold toward a sister in Christ.
• You—when _________________________________ (How would you fill in the blank?)

Describe the condition of your soul right now.

List five things that strengthen your soul.

List five things that weaken your soul.

Choose one of the following books to read to help keep you mindful of your soul’s health. I have read them all and have been deeply ministered to by the insights of each author.

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton

A Shelter in the Time of Storm by Paul David Tripp

Experiencing the Death of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon

Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership by Gary McIntosh and Samuel Rima

Surrender to Love by David Benner

The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner

Considering the health of our souls is an activity we can ignore for far too long, to our own peril.

We don’t need to have an advanced degree in theology to recall men and women in the scriptures who simply turned a deaf ear to the cries of their shriveling souls:

• Abram—when he slept with his wife’s maidservant just after a remarkable encounter with God.

• Lot—dwelling inside the evil cities of Sodom and Gomorrah with no apparent concern for doing so.

• Rebekah—scheming to get Jacob the blessing when God had already promised it to him.

• David—staying home from war when he should have been leading his men, then taking a second glance at a married woman and setting tragedy into motion for his entire family.

• A Pharisee—who had Jesus at his dinner table but was too confident in his own righteousness to bend the knee.

• Peter—refusing to listen to Jesus’ warning, then denying him three times, in tears.

• Me—when I allow thoughts of jealousy and envy to turn my heart cold toward a sister in Christ.

• You—when _________________________________ (How would you fill in the blank?)

Describe the condition of your soul right now.

List five things that strengthen your soul.

List five things that weaken your soul.

Choose one of the following books to read to help keep you mindful of your soul’s health. I have read them all and have been deeply ministered to by the insights of each author.

Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton

A Shelter in the Time of Storm by Paul David Tripp

Experiencing the Death of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon

Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership by Gary McIntosh and Samuel Rima

Surrender to Love by David Benner

The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner

O God of such truth as sweeps away all lies, of such grace as shrivels all excuses, come now and find us, for we have lost ourselves in a shuffle of disguises and the rattle of empty words.

Let your Spirit move mercifully to recreate us from the chaos of our lives.

We have been careless of our days, our loves, our gifts, our chances…

Our prayer is to change, O God, not out of despair of self but for love of you, and for the selves we long to become before we simply waste away.

Let your mercy move in and through us now…

Amen.

                                                                                                          —Ted Loder

In these past months, God has indeed been moving in my life with much grace and mercy. I love it when the Spirit begins digging new channels in my inner world, my soul, so that greater amounts of his love and healing presence can be taken in.

Quite frankly, it has been a refreshing season of revival and renewal. The Spirit of truth called me to spend extended times in his word and prayer, gently taking me back to my youngest years, when seeds were planted in my dysfunctional home that have influenced my character in unwholesome ways. The beauty of these journeys is that they have been remarkably free of shame and guilt. I have been overcome with the atmosphere of love in which the recollections have percolated to the surface of my mind.

There are a number of sweet ways in which God has been working. For example, for most of my life, the fact that I was adopted had a damaging effect on my sense of being loved, wanted, and safe, and thus it caused me to live in fear. Similarly, having a harsh, unloving father left me looking for approval around every turn. But recently, as the Lord has tenderly guided me, I’ve found that the more I face these issues, confess where needed, and simply ask God to help me be the one he’s created me to be, the more internal and external freedom I am experiencing. God has had me on this path for some time, but these past months have held some dramatic breakthroughs for which I am profoundly grateful.

How are things with your soul these days? Have you paused long enough to ask God to carve new channels in your inner man/inner woman so you’ll be capable of receiving the gift the Father longs to give you—the gift of loving and accepting yourself? Pull away with Jesus. Read Psalm 25, Proverbs 2, Isaiah 6, or Romans 8. Pose the simple question to the One who formed you in your mother’s womb, “Father, how are things with my soul?” Listen to what he says. It may surprise you.

                                                                                       —Psalm 19:7-10 (NLT)

It’s a question most of us hate to be asked.

It’s an inquiry that cuts too close for comfort.

And furthermore, it’s no one’s business!

The question? “So, what’s God been teaching you in his word lately?” Seems innocent enough if we’ve been reading the Bible and if we’ve had a teachable heart. I know. Life is full, the job is demanding, the kids are always around, the social life is burgeoning, and how can we miss our favorite TV shows? And then one thinks, “Where on earth would I begin, anyway? It’s such a huge book!”

Let me give you a few ideas to help you “right-size” the Bible:

• Read one of the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John) with a journal close by. Answer the following questions as you complete each chapter: What did I learn about God/Jesus? Write in your journal what intrigues you about the Lord. Does Jesus have an encounter with someone in the chapter that particularly touches me? Journal about that, too. What miracles catch my attention? Experiment by putting yourself into one or more of the stories; use your imagination. This simple exercise can really make the word come alive! Take your time as you journal your experiences.

• Read the books of Esther and Ruth, noting how profoundly God loves and values women and uses them in great ways in the Old Testament.

• The book of Acts is an exciting historical account of how God got his message out to most of the settled world. As you read, notice how God uses ordinary people to spread the good news of the Gospel. Consider how he could use you to do the same.

What do you need most today?

 What would renew your hope, squelch your fears, and calm your soul?

As for me: I don’t need a vacation or a quiet walk. I need to know I am loved and forgiven. Loved in spite of my mistakes and short comings. Forgiven even when I keep tripping and falling down. The simple fact is that I am loved by a God who sees all of me and knows all I’ve done or not done and still choose to call me to be his child, his beloved child. Truly, amazing love.

Enjoy this writing from Paul Tripp.  His grace-filled words serve as refreshing reminder for each of us.

It is such a comfort to me, such a source of hope and strength and daily joy. It gives me reason to get up in the morning and to press on even when I am discouraged and weak, and lonely and afraid. It gives me reason to face with courage the struggles within and the difficulties without. It reminds me that I can stand before You as I am, completely unafraid and ask of You what I have asked before and will ask again: Your forgiveness and Your help.

What gives me this courage? What offers me this hope? It is this one thing. I know for certain that there are two words that I’ll never hear. I know that You will never look at me in the eye and say to me, “Go away!” You will never send me from Your presence. You will not drive me from Your grace. You will not separate me from Your glory. You will not eliminate me from Your promises. You will never ever, ever send me away. Because Your anger was borne by Another. Because my separation was carried by Him. Because He was sent away, I will never be.

So, in weakness, failure, foolishness, and sin, I stand before You once more with courage, hope, comfort, and joy. because I know that in all the dark things that may be whispered to me in this dark and fallen world there are two words I will never hear. And so with gratitude and joy I get up to face the day but as I do, I do it without fear.

                                                                                             —Julian of Norwich

Have you surrendered to God’s love for you? I have to admit, this is one of the greater challenges in my life: to simply believe the Lord loves me. So today I turned to Ephesians 3:14-21 and prayed it out loud, stopping as the Spirit led, to embrace the glorious truths found in these seven verses.

So, here is my little assignment to you: for one week, pray this prayer and ask God, your Abba who delights in you, to inscribe each sentence on your heart. Then conclude your time with the simple statement, “Lord God, I choose to surrender to your love today.”

Pause right now and do just that, will you?

 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.  May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

                                                                                             —Julian of Norwich

Have you surrendered to God’s love for you?

I have to admit, this is one of the greater challenges in my life: to simply believe the Lord loves me. So today I turned to Ephesians 3:14-21 and prayed it out loud, stopping as the Spirit led, to embrace the glorious truths found in these seven verses.

So, here is my little assignment to you: for one week, pray this prayer and ask God, your Abba who delights in you, to inscribe each sentence on your heart.

Then conclude your time with the simple statement, “Lord God, I choose to surrender to your love today.”

Pause right now and do just that, will you?

 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.  May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

Psalm 103:1-5

 O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless his holy name!
   O my soul, bless God,
      don’t forget a single blessing!
 He forgives your sins—every one.
      He heals your diseases—every one.
      He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
      He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
      He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
      He renews your youth—you’re always young in his presence. 

Ephesians 1:3-8

How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

1 Timothy 1:12-17

I’m so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. The only credentials I brought to it were invective and witch hunts and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn’t know what I was doing—didn’t know Who I was doing it against! Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.

Here’s a word you can take to heart and depend on: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I’m proof—Public Sinner Number One—of someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy. And now he shows me off—evidence of his endless patience—to those who are right on the edge of trusting him forever.

   Deep honor and bright glory
      to the King of All Time—
   One God, Immortal, Invisible,
      ever and always. Oh, yes!

                                                                                                      —Puritan prayer

When I read this prayer, my mind recalls one memory after another of God’s gracious work in my life over the years. Just pause and reflect on your own redemption and forgiveness; the instances when strength was imparted at the perfect time or wisdom given at just the right moment. Our minds are like sieves; they leak, and we forget the many ways the God of the universe has literally shown up just for us.

Reminding myself of his past kindnesses gives the hope and faith I need today to trust him with my very present hurdles.

Wasn’t that exactly what the young David did as he faced Goliath? You remember the story recorded in 1 Samuel 17. David was aghast at the timidity of Israel’s army, quaking in their boots as the giant Philistine taunted the army of God twice a day for 40 days. Undaunted by the size of Goliath, he told King Saul that he would gladly fight this monster for the glory of God. All Saul could see was a boy standing before him. He knew nothing of David’s dependence on God’s past faithfulness.

I love how The Message puts David’s faith-filled response: “David said, ‘I’ve been a shepherd, tending sheep for my father. Whenever a lion or bear came and took a lamb from the flock, I’d go after it, knock it down, and rescue the lamb. If it turned on me, I’d grab it by the throat, wring its neck, and kill it. Lion or bear, it made no difference—I killed it. And I’ll do the same to this Philistine pig who is taunting the troops of God-Alive. God, who delivered me from the teeth of the lion and the claws of the bear, will deliver me from this Philistine.’ Saul said, ‘Go. And God help you!’”

Well, you know how it all ended up: a grand victory for Israel and one more memory David would need of God’s love and kindness toward him.