Michael Staires

New design!

Michael Staires — 2013-04-24T15:24:24-04:00

Beginning this Friday, I'm making the big switch with my blog over to WordPress. Not only will the blog have a brand new design, look and feel, it'll be much more functional as well. It will be optimized much better so Google and the other search engines can direct more traffic my way. You won't have to do anything differently...I'll still be available at www.mstaires.com.

The subscription process will also be much better. You'll be able to sign up to receive a weekly email from me about the latest posts.

On our own...we can only do so much. And in my case...I need lots of help. A big thank you goes out to Ben Bennett. Ben has been a tremendous help throughout this whole process. All the good stuff with the new design can be attributed to him. I think he's done a great job of providing a wonderful platform for each and every post.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. I hope it's a blessing to you.

Mike

You may not be the best judge

Michael Staires — 2013-04-20T09:01:01-04:00

Can you tell what the above photo is? Sometimes we can be too close to really get a clear perspective. (thanks to Cheyenne Mountain Zoo for the photo)

In 1939, when John Steinbeck finished his classic, "The Grapes of Wrath," he sent it off to his publisher with a short note that said, "It's just a run of the mill book, and the awful thing is that it is absolutely the best I can do." He warned his publisher that it wouldn't be very popular.

Wait. Are you kidding?

The Grapes of Wrath.

Yeah, the same Grapes of Wrath that won The National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize. And the novel was mentioned prominently when Steinbeck won the Nobel Prize in 1962.

Run of the mill? My writing should be so average!

The fact is that in the same way we often don't see our own beauty, we're not usually the best judge of our own talent or skill. We're too close and don't have the perspective to see. That's why we need those others in our lives who can see us from their vantage point; to see the bigger picture.

So...here's the outside perspective: You are created with wonder and purpose. Don't listen to the lie of the enemy that tells you otherwise.

(by the way...the photo above is of a raven!)

Change the world

Michael Staires — 2013-04-18T06:00:00-04:00

I just finished watching the last episode of The History Channel's "The Bible." (Yeah I know...I'm behind. I DVR'd it so I could watch it later!) I won't bore you with all my opinions of the series right now because I really want to spend the time talking about a scene that struck me in the last episode.

The baptism of Paul by Ananias.

You know the story...Ananias is visited by Jesus and told to go find Paul and heal his blindness. He follows the instructions given him, finds Paul and prays for him to receive sight. Then he takes a pitcher of water and pours it over Paul's head and baptizes him. I love it.

What caught me were the words from Ananias. As he pours the water over Paul's head he says, "I Ananias, baptize you Paul in the name of Jesus Christ. For He has chosen you to change the world in His name."

Boom.

For He has chosen you to change the world in His name.

YOU.

I believe that these words weren't just for Paul. Those words aren't just for Peter or Martin Luther or Augustine or St. Christopher or Billy Graham or Brennan Manning either.

Those words are for you too.

You've been chosen to change your world. You've been given powerful gifts and talents and they weren't given to you just for you. They were given as tools for you to bring about change. Real change.

You weren't born to blend in. You weren't brought into this world to be invisible. You were born to be a catalyst of change.

What are you doing today to bring change? How are you using your enormous gifts and talents today to improve and bring light into your world?

That's what you were born to do.

Go change the world.

You are more beautiful than you think

Michael Staires — 2013-04-17T06:00:00-04:00

Okay...if it wasn't official before, it's official now. Dove is the best at speaking to their audience in their language about the stuff the audience cares about. This video connects in a very powerful way. Yeah, it can be argued that it's not about soap. But it is about self-image and that's a topic I believe we can all connect with; women and men.

This story told in this video is impressive on many levels. I thought I'd just riff about a few of them in this post.

First of all, let me just say, that I'm amazed at the talent of the sketch artist who was able to take simple verbal descriptions and draw such incredible sketches. The whole point of the exercise was that he would draw without seeing. His talent is huge.
To me, there's a magic moment at about the 1:45 mark. This is the moment when the woman realizes the real impact of this exercise. She looks the two sketches and she sees the differences in the two. Then...she...get's it. The look on her face is priceless.
We all are prone to believing the lie about our own self image. We either think too highly of ourselves (not as common as you might think), or more likely, we think too little of ourselves. We buy into the argument that we have no beauty or talent or skill. The dragon torments us with messages of failure and ugliness and worthlessness...and we buy it.
The ad did such a terrific job of showing women, none of whom were models but, who had a beauty all their own. And the sketch artist did a great job of illustrating that.
Wait. Hold on. I'm not done with #3 yet. When we buy into this notion that we're not as good (or as skilled or as attractive or as talented) as someone else, we're already beaten. The enemy has us in a weakened state and once there, he knows we'll believe any lie he wants to pitch our way. Here's what you have to understand. Your enemy KNOWS you. He knows your vulnerabilities and he's poised to take advantage of them. But here's another thing you must know...he's a liar. What he says about you isn't the truth. That's the cool thing about this video. I know Dove never intended this to be a spiritual message but that's the way I'm interpreting it. This video shows the difference between the lie we believe and the truth that is real.

Just to be clear; the lie is that you are ugly, unskilled, and undesirable.

The truth is that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a one-off. There is no one else in this world (in the past, present or future) who is like you.

There is beauty in that realization alone.

You carry within you your Creator's DNA, His thumbprint.

Don't believe the lie. You are more beautiful than you think.

Oh...and #6. I love that loft.

Are you ready?

Michael Staires — 2013-04-15T12:50:57-04:00

Over the weekend I saw this video on You Tube. (thank you Roy Williams) Yeah, you guessed it. It's another one of those "surprise talent" videos. But this one is different. I promise. Watch and then we'll talk. (be aware of some strong language)

I love this. But let me tell you what I love about it. Yeah, I was surprised to hear Sam's voice. And yeah he's definitely got some pipes. But the "surprise talent" video has become a bit more common place over the last couple of years. Shows like American Idol, The Voice and their British versions and the viral nature of the Internet have thrust more great talent to the fore than at any other time in history.

But on those shows, the contestants had a chance to prepare. They practiced, they filled out forms, they showed up and stood in line, they got their shot and they made the most of it. But this is different.

Of course I have no idea of the back story here but it would appear that a very brave and bold mom just approached the stage and wouldn't sit down until Buble let her son sing. So he gives in and invites Sam to the stage. No warm up. No prep. Just here's the mic kid...sing. Go. When you think about the many ways this could go wrong it's staggering.

But Sam was ready. He made the most of his shot.

Here's my point. Singers, real singers, sing. Writers write. Ballplayers play ball. Every day. They don't wait for someone to tell them they're good enough. They just do it. Whether they have an audience or not.

How many people do you know who want to be something; they dream of it...but they don't do it because they're waiting on someone to tell them it's okay? They aren't doing those things daily NOW. If someone put the mic in their face right now, right this minute...they wouldn't be ready. They'd stumble and stammer.

What about you? Are you waiting for someone to tell you is okay to get started before you launch? Okay...I'm telling you. Get started! Practice. Every day. Be ready.

Even in the Bible Peter reminds us to always be prepared to give an account of the hope that is within us.

So be ready.

Because some day someone will put a mic in your face or a pen in your hand and say, "GO!"

Me

Michael Staires — 2013-04-12T06:00:00-04:00

I'm special. I'm unique. I was born unique and my uniqueness has continued to develop as I've grown older. Because I'm special and unique, God's plan for me is also special and unique. In fact, the plan is so special it can't be accomplished by anyone else but me.

I'm a husband. God has given me the incredible gift of being married to the most wonderful woman in the world...my Cherokee princess Lainey. I'm blessed to be her husband. When I think of our marriage and relationship two things come to mind: She completes me and she makes me want to be a better man. Too bad those lines have already been used in movies. (points if you can name the movies) I couldn't say it better.

I'm a father. God has blessed me and Lainey with seven great kids (and to date, three great "kids-in-law"). My kids have always been such an incredible blessing to me. They are creative, independent, and critical thinkers. They amaze me. I'm blessed.

I'm a director. God is currently using me in upstate New York at Taconic Retreat. To be here and serve these people is an honor. I'm humbled every day by the level of commitment of the team here. I'm honored to serve in this place.

As wonderful and as important as these are...they are only the roles I play, the labels I wear. The real me continues to be amazed by the people God has surrounded me with and the places He's called me to serve. I must be one of God's favorite kids.

Now...enough about me.

What about YOU?

Coincidence, fate or the hand of God?

Michael Staires — 2013-04-11T06:00:00-04:00

My mom's name is Shirley...a fairly unique name as far as women's names go. Out of all the girls with different names, I just happened to marry a girl with the same unique name...Shirley. Over the years I've started calling Shirley (my wife) "Lainey," which is another fairly unique name; a take off of her middle name Elaine. Riley my oldest son has married a beautiful young lady from Tulsa. Her name? Laney.

Coincidence?

I have a friend on Facebook whom I've never met personally but we've developed a great online friendship. He's from Oregon, his name is John. I've got another friend on Facebook I've only met personally once but we've spoken on the phone a time or two. She lives in New York and her name is Joan. A while back I was reading Joan's Facebook feed and found a comment from someone I didnt' expect...John!

Coincidence?

In college I had a university parking sticker on my car. The number on the sticker was 1605. And that number just happened to be my girlfriend's (now my wife's) home address.

Coincidence?

I love these. The Chinese actually have a saying; "If there's no coincidence, there's no story." And the fact is, coincidences have always made great stories.

But what do you think about coincidences? Do they just happen or is there some bigger purpose or power directing and these things that just seem to happen coincidentally. The dictionary defines a coincidence as a striking occurrance of two or more events at the same time apparently by mere chance.

Does God intervene in our lives this way or do things "just happen?" Is there such a thing as "mere chance?"

Jesus knew the power of coincidence and it's staying power as a story. Remember the time when the temple tax had to be paid? Jesus, who probably didn't carry around a lot of cash, told Peter to go out and catch a fish on a line. When Peter caught the fish he found a coin in it's mouth...and paid the tax with that coin. Out of all the fish in the sea...Peter catches the one with a coin in it's mouth.

I am one of those guys who happen to believe that there are very few coincidences in life. I think we'll be very surprised when we get to Heaven and learn how much our Creator continues to control, arrange and orchestrate; even the stuff that seems to be so meaningless.

I believe it's part of His nature. Part of His charm. (I can just imagine the wink in His eye) God knows the power of a story. He loves to do what no one would ever expect. So for me I believe that God directed me to a girl with the same name as my mom. He thought it'd be cool if out of all the four number combinations available, the number on my parking sticker would be the same as her home address. And He continues to amaze and delight by having my son find a girl to marry with the same name as his mom.

But that's what I believe. What about you? Do you believe in coincidence? What's your favorite story about a coincidence in your life?

Remember...if there's no coincidence (or hand of God!) there's no story.

Thanks to This American Life and their show on Coincidences for the inspiration for this post.

The time for turnover

Michael Staires — 2013-04-10T06:00:00-04:00

It appears that Spring has finally arrived in the Hudson Valley. I just got back from a short trip into Rhinebeck. I passed a field where the farmer was plowing the ground (yes, there are farmers in New York).

The farmer sat up high in the cab of his tractor...towing the huge plow behind. The point of the plow cut deeply and the curve of the blade turned over the hard winter ground and exposed the dark soil beneath...turning it over and opening it up.

The difference between the unplowed field and the plowed field was stark. The unplowed part was hard and gray with stubby stalks of last year's crop sticking up; dead and stiff. The look was flat and closed...sealed up.

The part plowed stood in stark relief. The newly exposed soil was dark and rich. The soft loam was moist and warm in the afternoon sun. It had a open look. A new look. It was a look of promise and possibility. Now the farmer can plant the new crop with confidence; knowing that the soil is open and ready to receive the new seeds.

It reminded me that we all go through times where the soil of our hearts has become hard and gray. We cling to the remnants of last years growth...the old revelation, the old ways. We are closed off to new possibilities. The only part exposed is old, dead and stiff.

It's Springtime. And now is when we need the plow of His spirit to come and turn us over.

Sure, the process can be painful. Change always is. The point of the plow can hurt. It's uncomfortable. But in the end...it's worth it. The hard surface of our heart is opened up to the new. The cold and gray becomes dark and rich. We yield to the plow and allow yesterday's promise to turnover to the new. We're open. We're ready to receive the new thing.

Are you ready for the newness this Spring has to bring? Ask for the plow to go deep and turn you over.

This will not define you

Michael Staires — 2013-04-04T17:02:59-04:00

(This is without a doubt the hardest post I've ever written. but I'm convinced if this message will help someone else, it's worth the pain of putting it out there.)

Several years ago I screwed up big time. Big time. My stupidity and foolishness caused widespread damage and put everything I hold dear at risk. I was incredibly selfish and was willing to risk it all for something so fleeting it shames me to write this now.

At the time, my family was surrounded by a strong community and they rushed to our sides to help. Their love and care and concern were like a healing balm. And although they didn't do everything right...I do believe I owe them a debt I can never repay.

They were there. And that was needed more than anything.

In the midst of that cloud of pain and confusion and shame God came. As so often happens, He spoke to me through the voice of a friend. This friend took my shoulders in his hands and he made me look up into his face. He simply said, "this will not define you."

That phrase rocked me. Was he kidding? That was everything that defined me in that moment. My life was a complete wreck. My shame over the destruction I had caused was like a heavy wet blanket draped over my shoulders. It weighed me down and smothered me. I saw myself as a complete failure through that filter. My sin...my mistake absolutely defined me. And that fact shamed me.

Have you ever felt like that?

Now as I look back, I can see the truth of His words to me that day. God hasn't benched me or put me on the back burner. He doesn't treat me as damaged or flawed or "less than." Through His grace, I'm redeemed. Through His mercy, He's allowed me to not only be in the game but to play an important role.

And while He's filled my life with meaning and purpose, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't live with some degree of the pain I caused. But when I struggle with the dragon of shame...I hear His voice, "this will not define you."

I want to encourage you. If you are living under the cloud of condemnation over a past wrong let me assure you...God doesn't intend for that to define your life. Yes there are consequences. Yes there is a price to pay. But your life doesn't have to stop at that point.

You are much more than the collection of mistakes you've made.

Remember, when our head hangs in shame...He is our glory. He is the one who takes our face in His gentle hands and lifts it so we can look Him in the face and bathe in the love from the look in His eyes as He whispers...

"This will not define you."

The false security of "Persona Incognito"

Michael Staires — 2013-04-02T13:51:51-04:00

I've been curious lately about the word, "incognito." The dictionary defines the word as "having one's identity concealed under an assumed name; especially to avoid notice or formal attentions."

When we're hurt or scared or scarred by a traumatic event, we protect ourselves by concealing our true selves. When we've had to endure the storms of abuse in one form or another we seek shelter from the pain. Like the masked man, we hide behind a contrived identity; walling off the vulnerable and yet authentic form of ourselves. We rush to the shadows and become "persona incognito."

Your face is now "safely" hidden behind a false mask. You can't imagine the vulnerability and exposure of revealing the real you. Sadly, you've bought the lie that the real you is too flawed, too unworthy, too ugly to succeed or be accepted or loved. The truth must be covered up. The risk of rejection is just too risky. The persona is driven underground...incognito. The mask goes on.

Of course the ironic (and tragic) thing is that often the part you are so quick to hide is the very part of you that makes you you. It's that unique special quality that you were born with. Sadly, you drive it underground and go persona incognito; putting on a mask that says you are something-someone altogether different.

We think we don the mask to hide and protect, when in fact, we actually end up causing more harm.

How?

The mask hides our true self. This is what you want...right? To hide; to keep from getting hurt. But this is not an advantage. The part you are hiding is the very part you were created to share. In one blow the enemy has not only rendered your gift impotent but also robbed us of your gift; a gift we need. Not only were you created with a unique and special gift but you were created to receive fulfillment from that gift. When you neglect the gift, you rob yourself of the fulfillment that comes from doing what you were born to do.
The mask blocks your vision. You may not realize it but the mask you wear actually inhibits your ability to see. You may think your mask blocks our ability to see in but it's actually blocking your ability to see out. It's almost like the little kid who thinks if he closes his eyes no one can see him. The only way to get a true picture of who you are is to take the mask off.
The mask blocks the input and encouragement from others. Flowers grow in the direction of the sun and we grow in the direction of encouragement from others. The more we choose to hide the persona incognito the more we cut ourselves off from the very encouragement that causes us to grow.

The scariest thing you will ever do is take off your mask and learn to live without it. It's time for your persona incognito to come to the light so the rest of us can benefit from the special gifts you were born to bring. It's time for the big reveal.

Your persona incognito can't help us when it's under wraps. We need the real you.