United States of Motherhood

What Do You Do When They Are Old Enough to Shave: Venus $50 Visa Card Giveaway

2012-05-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

It's such a poignant moment when you realize the baby girl who you swear was wearing frilly diaper covers and Mary Janes yesterday, suddenly starts to get hair on her legs. It’s one of many firsts that seem to hit me harder than the boys' firsts.

It shouts that my baby girl is growing up.

What happened to this little girl?

And please tell me when did this happen?

Then the inevitable comes. Sooner than you realize or are ready for, the,"When can I shave my legs, Mommy?" question arrives.

For my very girly, always wearing pink daughter, it was way sooner. Waaay sooner. Too soon. My husband comes from sturdy Eastern European stock, and my daughter takes after him in that regard. He is hairy, and so is she. We all know what that means.

Yes, while my two blond boys had freckles and sparse blond hair glinting on their legs, baby girl got thick, black hair she could almost braid on her legs. Of all the things you want to inherit from my husband: his intelligence, his height, his organizational skills or his naturally thin-toned body and high metabolism, his hair was not on the top of the list.

Poor baby girl.

This was at four years old. At the time, there was even concern of early onset puberty which our pediatrician was watching closely. One family member got her period in 1st grade, and we worried about serious complications if baby girl followed her path.

Luckily, that did not occur, and she hit puberty just recently, but oh my the hair. The hair!

At the time, I scoured the net for when it was appropriate to let girls shave their legs. As a competitive swimmer even then, she stood out. By age six, kids were starting to notice and comment on her legs.

In the end, to head off teasing and her distress, we gave in, and I agreed to shave her legs every couple of months to keep it reasonably shorn. We wanted her to have a positive experience in school and swimming, and if that meant starting so young, so be it.

With any physical difference, kids can be cruel and shaving seemed a simple enough solution...well except shaving a teeny, tiny leg attached to a wriggling body ended up with plenty of nicks and scratches. Plenty.

Fast forward six years, when most girls are starting to shave, my baby girl is a pro. She took over from her awkward mom by 8 years old when her Daddy equipped her with her own razor and shave gel…designed for a man. Not exactly the tools to make a girl feel feminine.

So when Venus sent us their Satin Care Passionista Fruit and Embrace razor in the mail, the excitement from my 12 year-old was palpable. Finally, we had products to make her feel beautiful and feminine.

I am not embarrassed to admit we both oohed and ahhed over the sparkly peachy-pink tinted shave gel and its yummy fruit scent. I told her she could have the gel and razor, but I admit I wanted to keep the gel for myself.

Venus says the rich formula, infused with the sparkling scent of juicy, fresh fruit, leaves your skin soft and satiny smooth every time you shave. I think I might have to get my own to try it out. I know baby girl is one happy customer.

We were happy with the razor too. I wish it, with its ribbon of moisture which ensures a smooth shave, had been around when I was bent over shaving those tiny legs. With its FIVE blades and soft-gripped handle for no-slip control, it glided smoothly. It was also clearly designed for a girl. No more manly razor for her. Isn’t it purty?

I think all women love to have beauty tools that make them feel feminine and this razor certainly hit the mark.

In the end, figuring out how the deal with these personal choices of when and how to initiate conversations and negotiate choices on our children's firsts are highly personal and up to each family.

I’ve mentioned on my blog and on other places on the internet that my daughter started to shave at six. There are some aghast at our decision as if we were Toddlers and Tiaras types. There are others that applaud my sensitive mothering by putting my daughter’s feelings before my own notions of what age was appropriate.

I think we as mothers at one point all finally realize that we have to do the best we can and work for the solution that works best for our children, don’t you agree?

How about you? Share a tip for tackling tough "firsts" conversations with your kids to be entered for a chance to win a $50 Visa gift card, courtesy of BlogHer and Venus.

Rules: No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 5/21 - 6/30.

Be sure to visit the Venus Brand feature page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! If you have a first-time shaver in your home, you should check out some of these great tips from Venus Embrace!

Yay for Venus!!

Seattle Children's: Keep Strong. Get Stronger. [video]

2012-05-09T10:39:00.008-07:00

Love this video....LOVE!

I've spent far too many hours at Seattle Children's over the years. Far too many. Emergency breaks and surgeries usually. And? As much as I hated to be there with my kiddos in pain, I was always blown away by the care and personal touches that Seattle Children's went the extra mile to do for families. This Mom Says You Rock the Casbah.

I cannot imagine being there with a child with cancer, but clearly these children and their caregivers are going something right.

Kids? Keep strong. Get stronger.

My friends? Pass it on...

Bear Attack: A Girl's Gotta Have Dreams

2012-05-07T14:48:00.002-07:00

...And now my greatest wish is to be attacked by a bear. You? Yep, I'm going to go rub myself down with some raw salmon and go hiking in the Cascades.

Great idea, no? Who is with me?

Lizards Making Love: Have a Naughty, Naughty Turtle Week-End, Y'all

2012-05-04T16:33:00.005-07:00

I was chatting with my sister the other day. Somehow we got on the subject of the lizards in her neighbors' backyard having sex...except all I heard was the neighbors and sex. When she told me she got her kids to watch her neighbors having sex, I gasped.

She was like, "No really. They were going at it. Hard."

This is my pretty conservative, very religious (and much loved) sister. So not in character, I just continued to gasp and giggle and chuckle...and only be a little...okay a lot shocked at her voyeurism.

It was even better when we finally cleared up that we were talking about lizards on the neighbor's backyard.

Yep, chalk one up again to my hilarious hearing loss.

In the meantime, I was inspired. Truly inspired. To Google all sorts of beasties in the wild to visualize how backyardigan creatures get it on.

I discovered lizard love making, while interesting, did not hold a candle to turtles....very loud turtles. Enjoy:

Here's to a very squeaky week-end, y'all!

On Marriage: Wax on, Back Hair....OFF!

2012-04-29T10:11:00.003-07:00

My friends, can I just share with you how satisfying it is to wax the crap out of my husband's troll toes and teddy bear back?

Ha-ha!

At home Brazilian wax kit?? You helped me wreak my revenge on my radish pickling husband!

** I promise you I was not paid to review, sponsor, or endorse this product. However the truly deep satisfaction I get from ripping my Eastern European husband's back hair out? Now that should be bottled right this minute! Right Beau Raines??

On Parenting: Tough Love

2012-04-29T10:07:00.001-07:00

Spent the afternoon on Friday playing a rousing game of Guess Who with kid #3.

I DESTROYED him.

It is so exhilarating to win against 10 year old...hehehe!

Tough love, baby.

On the Frugal: Holy Wassssssabi Batman!

2012-04-28T19:11:00.003-07:00

Holy wassssssabi!

I tried to save some money and bought some wasabi almonds in grocery store bulk bins.

As you can see, I think it's a 50-50 combo of wasabi to nuts.

Well, you learn something everyday right? Well? I discovered my nasal passages are connected to my knees when I ate a handful.

That is all.

On Marriage: Save Me From This Sauerkraut Factory

2012-04-28T12:07:00.004-07:00

Image Source

Save me!

Save me! My husband, in his infinite wisdom, decided to have a father-son bonding experience by making pickles. Not one to go the vanilla approach, he then escalated to pickled radishes and garlic cloves. Oh...my...gottt...the simmering vinegar, radish, and garlic cloves plume of nasty are emanating every crevice of our home, including the bathrooms, the garage, and even my pores.

I now live in a sauerkraut factory and my friends?

It is not pretty.

This was definitely disallowed in our marriage vows.

Common Sense and Almost Organic: Lemon & Olive Oil Muffin Recipe

2012-04-18T13:35:00.021-07:00

This will be the first post of many in my series called Every. Little. Bite. Helps. where I offer tips for choosing a common sense, almost organic lifestyle.

Ahh do you know that frazzled moment when you are out with STARVING kids, running errands, and you succumb…

You succumb to the pleas for that sparkly bakery muffin or that frosted coffee shop scone. You throw down the $1.75-2.50 each to fill outstretched hands with a sugary treat chock full of transfats, white sugar, sodium, and ultimately an unknown and incredible amount of unpronounceable ingredients.

You willing quell the whines with, in my case with three kids, $6-10 of junk and more junk to wash it down. Then sigh when you give in yourself and add another muffin to the pile for you.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Repeat. And repeat again in my busy family. Coming back from school. Going to swim practices. Getting back late from football. Or Lego League. Or [insert club dujour] for my three kiddos.

Sound familiar?

And yet, grocery shopping you gape at organic prices and sniff with disdain. Yep, that was me. In the past, I have been willing to throw down $20 for a fried fast food snack full of pink slime and sugary sodas, but the thought of buying organic milk, eggs, fruits, vegetables,and flour at double their non-organic equivalents—but note still less than that fast food bill—seemed outrageous and made my wallet cringe.

What was I thinking! Did I not see the irony? Added on to this cheap mindset, I did not see that those way too frequent trips to eat out would eventually cost me where it hurts most in this country—our health.

Lately, with medical issues to include my inflamed liver and ongoing memory issues, my daughter’s once again flaring eczema, my husband’s medically-controlled cholesterol and a recent diagnosis of ADD for my son, I have been forced to rethink many of my choices.

Suddenly, some common sense prevails. Perhaps all those years of not-so-cheap convenience foods could inadvertently be one of a myriad of causes for this family’s slate of issues.

Who knows! However, going back to price point and a little planning, eating natural, whole, organic when it makes sense could not hurt. That is where I am at right now. I am choosing a common sense, mostly organic approach to our lives for the next few months.

If it is available and not outrageous, I will calm my inner frugality and buy grass-fed, organic, hormone-free, and antibiotic-free. Heck, gluten free is even on the table again. I will cut back on processed foods and choose fresh, whole ingredients. I think this can be achievable for most families.

Will I be a Nazi about this? No. I am not going to freak if I use a tablespoon of regular ol’ poppy seeds in a recipe. I am not going to scour the earth looking for organic ricotta. If it’s in stock and it’s cheaper than fast food (my new litmus test) I will invest in that ingredient for my family. And if not, I will try to buy a more natural alternative—hopefully processed with 5 ingredients or less. I want to get rid of the guar gums, dextrose, and sodium benzoate in my family’s diet.

Honestly? If I am willing to pay $40 for burgers and fries for a dinner at the golden arches for my family of five, why not pay $20 for grass-fed beef or $30 for wholesome ingredients to make a slew of muffins that will last a week?

I consider this an investment in my future and my family’s future.

Back to those muffins, for about the same price as those 5 muffins and a latte at that café, you suddenly can have 3 dozen muffins with my muffin recipe… and hopefully the willpower in your arsenal to resist that latte.

Fresh Lemon & Olive Oil Muffins (36 muffins)

My cost approximately $20 or 55 cents a muffin ~ coffee shop equivalent over $70

Time Investment 30-45 minutes

3½ cups (15.75 ounces) organic, unbleached white flour
1¾ cups (7.8 ounces) organic, whole wheat flour
2¼ cups organic white sugar
7 ½ tsp. baking powder
¾ tsp. fine sea salt
1½ cups room temperature organic cottage cheese
6 oz. room temperature organic cream cheese
1½ cups water
¾ cup organic olive oil
6 room temperature organic, cage free eggs
3 Tbsp lemon zest/rind and 6 Tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice (needed 1 organic lemon for zest and juice & 1 regular lemon just for juice)
Organic olive oil to coat muffin tins
4 Tbsp Turbinado sugar or Demerara sugar
2 Tbsp poppy seeds
Quart-sized Ziploc bags

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees or 350 degrees for convection. Rub olive oil on bottom and sides of all muffin tins.

Measure or weigh both flours and combine in large mixing bowl. Add white sugar, baking powder, and salt.

Squeeze your lemons and zest organic lemon.

In food processor, blender, or in bowl with hand blender/mixer, combine cottage cheese, cream cheese, water, oil, and eggs until combined and slightly frothy to incorporate air to counter the heaviness of the whole wheat flour. The mixture should have fully smoothed out the cream cheese, but slight bumps from cottage cheese is fine. This should be the consistency of thick pancake batter.

Make well in center of bowl of dry ingredients and add wet mixture. Lightly fold flour into center of well, turning bowl as you go until just moist. Do not over mix.

Using cookie/ice cream scoop, add a heaping scoop to each muffin cup. Sprinkle with coarse sugar and poppy seeds to add additional texture and sparkly sweetness.

Bake 12-16 (depends on how many pans at once that you are baking) or until inserted wooden toothpick comes out clean.

Cool in pan for 10 minutes. Remove to cooling rack. Once completely cooled, place 3-5 muffins in each Ziploc bag and freeze.

Each of these muffins is a fraction of what you would pay in a moment of desperation. Even better, they are almost organic and definitely more natural than what you would find in a commercial bakery, and yet they are still a scrumptious treat the kids will love to nosh on. To compare calories, a Starbucks so called Skinny Lemon Poppyseed muffin that used to be my son’s favorite is almost 100 more calories more.

I have found pulling out a family-sized pack to thaw on the counter the night before a booked day full of family activities shortcuts those whines. Throw said-Ziploc in purse or car console and you can leave for the day with an arsenal of yummy organic goodness. Need something quick? Throw a frozen muffin in the microwave for 10-15 seconds and it’s ready to go.

I know not every family eats out and not every family can afford organic. That said, looking out for sales, buying organic in bulk at Costco, and looking into co-ops certainly helps to substitute a few more organic/natural ingredients into your food which means a few less preservatives, additives, and hormones going into the mouths of your children.

In the long run, with the cost of health care rising astronomically and study after study discovering that additives we once thought were safe, may now be questionable, can you afford not to try a more wholesome approach to your family’s diet?

Every. Little. Bite. Helps.

What are your tips to make your family's food more healthy?

Anyone Else Sick of Pinterest?

2012-04-09T16:41:00.001-07:00

Source: someecards.com via Pixi on Pinterest

We Mothers (And Our Daughters) Deserve More: Olay Total Effect 7 in One Toning Moisturizer $50 VISA Giveaway

2012-04-09T08:16:00.009-07:00

This is me. No filter. Me, after that outrageous Bob-Harper-is-the-Devil workout last month. I am flushed, but I feel good.

Trying to avoid having it go to my head, but in the worst shape of my life with my self-esteem in the dumps, this picture resulted in an incredible number of positive, glowing reactions.

Maybe some readers were happy I was finally doing the right thing for myself. Loved ones enjoyed that I actually took a self-portrait -- there are very few pictures of me in existence when I am not happy with how I look.

Certainly my kids will be happy to add another to the handful of photos I've allowed during their childhood.

Personally? I think the reason I received so many compliments was that I was, for once, not smothering my skin in a thick blanket of foundation. Yes, foundation as in what they layer under houses in cement like slabs. My skin was much more luminous.

What was I wearing in the picture? A little something I got in the mail called Olay® Total Effects Tone Correcting UV Moisturizer. It's moisturizer, sunscreen and a light dreamy toner all in one.

Perfect for a quick stop into the grocery store after a workout at the gym. I had slapped it on between errands and appointments.

It's a multi-tasking mother's dream.

Yes, it offers hydration plus sheer illuminating coverage, which my vanity loves. But even more important, given my fair Irish complexion and years of deep sunburns, it has sunscreen. I finally started using sunscreen and sunglasses in my thirties. Thirties! And this wonder bottle has sunscreen too!

Yes I know, by now most of the damage has been done. Actually, experts agree the majority of damage to our skin happens in our youth, but the damage doesn't show up until decades later. My friends, I have the age spots to show for my recklessness in the California sun.

In my teens I burned my nose so badly that it peeled for two years.

As a mother of one gorgeous daughter who happens to have inherited the olive skin tone from the rest of my family, I still worry and know I can help her prevent the kind of sun-damage I have. She is a swimmer and is reluctant to wear sunscreen, especially the stingy kinds with fumes that irritate eyes. All she wants to do is tan.

Lucky us, we received two bottles of Total Effects Tone Correcting UV Moisturizer in the mail and I gave the medium shade to her because I think it's never too early to start protecting our skin from damage.

With the fun bottle and the allure of the light toner and, more important, no stingy eyes, she's hooked and so am I.

Even better, the vitamin-rich complex combines SPF 15 sunscreen, a sheer tint and an anti-aging moisturizer which works to reduce the SEVEN signs of aging:

1. Line Minimization: Reduces the appearance of fine wrinkles
2. Nourishing Moisturization: For a radiant, healthy glow
3. Tone Enhancement: Balances color and reduces appearance of age spots
4. Gentle Exfoliation: Smoothes and evens skin texture
5. Eye Puffiness Reduction: Massages to reduce the appearance of eye puffiness
6. Free Radical Defense: Helps prevent damage to skin’s surface
7. Dryness Defense: Reduces the appearance of dryness

So guess where my bottle now resides?

In my purse!

This way I have no excuses to go bare in the sun.

I will always have a beauty tool with me to expedite my beauty routine when time runs out between carpools, kids' activities, and my work.

In the long run, I know spending a little time now will save me years of damage on my skin (and my daughter's) later.

So my friends, what do you do as multi-tasking mothers and women to carve out time to take care of your skin?

Tell me about it in the comments for the chance to win a $50 VISA card -- maybe to buy a few bottles of Total Effects Tone Correcting UV Moisturizer for yourself.

Take care of yourselves and take care of your daughters!

Contest closed:

Congrats to my winner, Holly Chernoff!!

Rules:
No duplicate comments.
You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.
This giveaway is open to U.S. Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by email. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.
The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 4/9 - 5/16

Be sure to visit the Olay TE page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers' reviews and find more chances to win! While we're on the subject of looking good, you might want to check out the "Looking Your Best" posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great tips and expert posts!

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Samantha Brick Needs a Brick to That Ego of Hers

2012-04-05T11:49:00.014-07:00

I usually am not part of the mob that hate on woman on the internet. I am not. I hate cyberbulling. I've been a victim at times and it is not fun. Not fun at all.

Source: Today Show

Heck, I even felt slightly bad for OctoMom finally admitting today on the Today Show she was on public assistance--something she claimed she would never do when she had her irresponsible litter of babies. She was ashamed. Yes, my friends, I felt compassion. She looked broken. She is posing scantily clad for magazines to pay her mortgage. Karma got her good.

However guess who I don't feel compassion for? Women begging for attention, any attention, and who then are shocked that the attention is not positive. Women so self-involved they trip over others shouting, "Look at me!" In particular?

Samantha Brick.

Have you heard of her? She recently wrote a crazy post for the Daily Mail in a very Kelly LaBrock-esque "Don't hate me because I am beautiful," way.

Remember Kelly?

Beautiful right?

Back to Miss Brick, first we need to refer to exhibit A:

Source: Daily Mail

She is no Kelly LaBrock. Nope, nope.

This photo just does not jive with following comments we will call Exhibit B:

"I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks."

"I’m not smug and I’m no flirt, yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room."

"I find that older women are the most hostile to beautiful women — perhaps because they feel their own bloom fading. Because my husband is ten years older than me, his social circle is that bit older too."

"It was clear that when you have a female boss, it’s best to let them shine, but when you have a male boss, it’s a different game: I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work, something I’m sure many women do."

How utterly, bloody ridiculous. Do you flirt or do you not to get ahead? Do women hate you for your self-professed beauty, or your astonishing ego and lack of reality?

A friend asked me about her today and my first thought was that it was printed on April Fools, so it must be a joke. She has since been on news shows defending herself. Nope, no joke.

First, sorry to downplay any woman, but her arrogance and smug attitude make me want to shout, "Honey, you ain't all that."

I could see if she was Heidi Klum or Angelina Jolie or Kim Kardashian or some Victoria Secret model, she could pull off all these thoughts and more--although anyone that self-centered would get called out on such a publicly-stated attitude like that-- pretty or not.

Source: Little Plastic Horses

Even Alessandro Ambrosio couldn't Pull Off That Unflattering Attitude...

However Ms. Brick? To be quite honest, to be perfectly blunt, in my opinion is pretty plain with horrible teeth. She is certainly not unattractive, but bombshell worthy of her comments of jealousy, she is not.

I don't buy it. I don't buy she has been lavished with champagne and flowers from strangers. I don't buy that bartenders pick up her bill unless they perceive her of being, sadly, easy.

As for having never been a bridesmaid or having jealous friends and female bosses, I do buy it. Her attitude rather than her self-described, "lovely looks," seem to be the likely culprit. She would like to blame all the negative in her professional and social life on poor "beautiful me" looks rather than her goat cheese stinking self-adulation.

And the worst? She claims her attitude would be okay in the United States. As an American, woman, and mother of a daughter, I am insulted. Americans are not that shallow. I doubt anyone is that shallow.

Nope, not in my book would her egotistical remarks and admission she flirted to get ahead ever be acceptable. Not in my book!

My friends, confidence is great. However, unfounded over-confidence with a big heaping helping of smug? Soooo unattractive.

Ms. Brick? You are no Kelly LaBrock. Furthermore, from your remarks, you are not pretty on the inside and that is all that counts to this mother.

So do you believe her claims?

For Our Troops: I Give A Shit (Updated)

2012-03-27T18:11:00.008-07:00

Source: Uploaded by user via Renee on Pinterest

On this day when my young nephew was just sworn in to the Army and looking at the photos of a friend deployed for the FOURTH time to the middle east, I came upon this letter below. I hope these soldiers don't mind me passing it along because it's emotion is gripping. It made me want to shout to the heavens that we Americans need to get a grip on our priorities as a country:

Source: healthyisalwaysbetter.tumblr.com via Renee on Pinterest

Dear Mr. Anderson Cooper and CNN (or other reputable news agency),
Although I am sure that you receive thousands of communication attempts per day, I remain hopeful that this letter will cross your desk, or that of an appropriate staff member. My name is Adam Tibble, and I am currently deployed at Camp Bastion, in the Helmand Province of Afghanistan. I am a critical care air transport physician for the US Air Force. My team includes a critical care nurse, Captain Frank Brisendine, and a respiratory therapist, Staff Sergeant Robby Wilson. Together we transport our severely injured soldiers within Afghanistan and onto medical facilities in Germany. The work represents a difficult paradox for us. It is incredibly rewarding and heartbreaking at the same time. The injury patterns inflicted by enemy fire and IEDs (improvised explosive devices) are awe-strikingly severe, and serve to stir emotions rarely experienced by medical personnel.
Source: redwhiteandbluekindalove.tumblr.com via Renee on Pinterest

Just the other day, we flew two critically ill patients to another US hospital within Afghanistan. Following the mission, my team sat, exhausted, eating lunch at an American dining facility. CNN played passively on a television in the background, and a large group of US Marines was positioned on our right. Given the condition of their boots and their aggressive chewing, it was obvious that these guys had just returned from the field “outside the wire.” For 50 straight minutes, CNN’s coverage failed to deviate from the day-old Whitney Houston tragedy. I lifted my eyes up from my food as a handful of Marines were clearing their trays. One Marine leaned back to his buddy after gesturing to the TV and said, “Man, no one gives a shit about what we did yesterday.”
　
Source: mochadad.com via Renee on Pinterest
At that moment, I craved for the American public to be informed as much about a Marine’s sacrifice as the life of a music legend. In no way is this letter an indictment of CNN, its coverage, or Ms. Houston. In fact, we scour your website, as it is one of the most respected sources of journalism in the world. Rather, this is a challenge to devote a percentage more coverage to the true heroes in this conflict.
Source: tumblr.com via Renee on Pinterest

For example, our team had the honor of transporting a special forces medic who suffered incredible injury. As pragmatic medical minds, we didn’t necessarily believe in a patient “fighting” for their life. But, this medic changed all of that as he tolerated replacement of his blood volume too many times to count. He made it to Germany to see his family before succumbing to his wounds. He represents a real-life “Saving Private Ryan” story as his brother also lost his life in this nearly forgotten conflict.
　
Source: s631.photobucket.com via Renee on Pinterest
Or what about the two US Army PFCs (Private First Class) that we flew on the day of Ms. Houston’s overdose? Each soldier lost two legs and one hand in IED attacks. In total, six limbs were lost in a matter of seconds on February 11, 2012. The American public will never know their names, but will likely know the results of Ms. Houston’s blood toxicity screen. However, we submit that these soldiers are more hero than any rockstar, athlete, or actor that dominates the headlines. We will never know the courage or bravery it takes to join that convoy or be the first to enter that cave, nor will we forget the sacrifice they made for our country. CNN is in the unique position to not let the American public forget, either.
Source: time.com via Scott on Pinterest

Recently, there has been a lot of talk about the 1% and the 99% of America. Less than 1% of the population belongs to this all-volunteer military that has been tested by two wars for over 10 years. The political and foreign policy implications of these conflicts make them hard to understand, and even more impossible to hold the general American public interest. And to be honest, it is sometimes difficult for us to understand as service members. However, these kids still join that convoy and enter that cave, only because of their incredible bravery, commitment, and because America asked them to.
Therefore, in turn, we plead with one of the most respected news agencies in the world to return the favor--to recognize the elite of our 1%, perhaps with a hero highlighted per week, or per day. There are thousands of stories out here. We would be happy to help you find these heroes and stories. Please ask. Then, maybe, CNN can tell that Marine in the dining hall that we all, in fact, do give a shit about what they did yesterday.
　
Sincerely,
Adam Tibble, Captain, USAF, MD-Critical Care Air Transport Physician-Cardiac Anesthesiologist-Travis AFB, Fairfield, CA
Frank Brisendine, Captain, USAF, RN-Critical Care Air Transport RN-Travis AFB, Fairfield, CA
Robert Wilson, Staff Sergeant, USAF, RRT-Critical Care Air Transport RT-Travis AFB, Fairfield, CA

I thank everyone in the military for their service and sacrifice and especially my Berkeley ROTC friend with two young twin boys who just headed out for another adventure! Stay safe!

Source: imgur.com via Renee on Pinterest

If you give a shit? Please pass this on.
Our troops deserve our attention for their sacrifice!

Update:

Another case in point? A soldier recently deploying ate his last meal at Jack in The Box and this is what went down:

"C"- "Military Discount? No,.. we offer a police officer discount sure, but have never offered a military discount... "Why would we? What Have They Done?"
Me- Excuse Me?!?
"C" - "Yeah, I don't even give the police their discount because of what they did to that boy who was wearing a hoodie and carrying Skittles!" "But, we've never had a discount for the military.
Me- "A simple no would have been enough!"

This is so unacceptable. Read the full story at Homesteading Housewife and then let Jack in The Box know your thoughts! My thoughts? Oh, hell no. Until they fire her arse, I am boycotting JITB.

Yes, This Made Me Cry...A Lot

2012-03-26T15:47:00.009-07:00

From one rescued pup mommy to another animal lover: You can make a difference.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;15&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

We've saved three souls that have immeasurably added joy to our lives and I hope we did the same for them!

Visit your local shelter. Don't seek out breeders...adopt!

Sebastian: 15 years old and bringing us joy for the last 14 years. The years have taken their toll, but I thank my lucky stars that I found you in a Fairbanks shelter after being returned twice. You were meant for our family. We are your forever family.

Grendel: Oh, I miss you Grendel. You were my first pup. My baby whom I snuck into an animal-free apartment in college. You nannied our babies as we had them. My constant shadow. We were lucky to have you for 15 glorious years before the cancer took you.

Lulu: You've only been here a year and yet you've wormed your way into my heart! You sit on my laptop and make me take breaks. My keyboard is covered with fur and I don't care!

Vote for Me: Circle of Moms 2012 Top 25 Political Moms

2012-03-22T08:14:00.007-07:00

Oh my goodness, it's that time of year again.

I blush.

I don't do this often, but I ask for your vote. I just found out that I was nominated again for Circle of Moms Top 25 Political Moms:

Clicky? Purty please?

I know, I know. Politics?

Yep, not sure I exactly peg myself as a political blogger, nor just a mommy blogger, or humor blogger, or health blogger, and oh, then there's the food blogger in me.

I just refuse to niche myself as just one snapshot -- what mother is just political, just mommy, or just about cooking? It's the sum of us all that make us outrageously individual.

That said, I have a rather distinct political footprint aimed at a discrimination free-world, advocating for women and children, whilst being a steadfast supporter of our armed forces and a balanced budget--living within our government's means without taxing us all to oblivion.

I am a moderate.

I know that's hard to find on the internet. It seems we need to be divisive to get attention for our convictions. We need to move hard left or hard right.

Isn't that what has gotten our country in this mess in the first place?

No compromise. Partisanship. Name calling. Making alliances like high school cliques and never coming to the table with the American people in mind.

Tearing people and ideas apart is not my thing. I have a soft touch. I like respectful discussion. Politics at the dinner table can be a rational discussion if everyone checks their emotion and listens. Truly listens. Humor doesn't hurt either.

If this is what you want as a political blogger then, my friends, I would truly appreciate your vote.

Chow down at Chik-fil-A...Even If You're Gay [NSFW VIDEO}

2012-03-20T10:59:00.006-07:00

Oh, my, my, my! "I want my meat without a bible?"

Ladies. You. Are. Awesome.

You all might know the history of the very Christian, privately-held Chik-Fil-A's anti-gay bias. They give, and give large, to anti-gay organizations. They stay closed on Sundays. Their official mission includes a commitment, “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us.”

This has not gone unnoticed around the country.

“Students at some universities have also begun trying to get the chain removed from campuses,” reports The New York Times The chain president, Dan Cathy says on a video on the company's fan Facebook page that marriage has long been a focus of the chain, which S. Truett Cathy, his deeply religious father, began in the sixties.

Their bias is not just for the gay community however. There was the 2002 lawsuit, "Brought by a Muslim restaurant owner in Houston who said he was fired because he did not pray to Jesus with other employees at a training session. The suit was settled."

I admit I have eaten at Chik-Fil-A once when we lived in the south. I don't recall being wowed by the food. However, fast food that does wow me is In 'N Out . And yes, they put biblical passages on their wrappers. One being:

Revelation 3:20

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

Guess what? This does not offend me, but for some reason Chik-Fil-A giving sandwiches to a marriage seminar by one of Pennsylvania's most outspoken groups against homosexuality does.

For now, neither In 'N Out nor Chik-Fil-A grace my fair Seattle so I settle, and settle well, with Five Guys:

Nothing but the church of Cholesterol here

I'll show you beef!

I guess it comes down to this my friends: Does Jesus really belong in your burger?

Some customers say they are hooked on the food, not their politics or religion. Is that good enough? Do you eat at Chik-Fil-A? And when you really want a chicken burger or tasty lemonade on [gasp] Sunday, does it bother you that you are out of luck at Chik-Fil-A?

$50 Visa GIVEAWAY: Cracked Heels With Oil of Olay To the Rescue

2012-03-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Cracked Mommy Digitally Enhanced to Remain Anon

Cracked! I'm cracked. No, no, not in my head. My feet. Someone stole the feet I remember BEFORE kids and replaced them with those of a ninety-year-old called Nana.

Seriously.

I think Betty White's feet must look better.

It all started with the quick mommy shower. You know what I mean. Wash all vital parts quickly while kids nap.

No time to shave legs or moisturize with the kids screaming down the bathroom door, or even better, cutting the baby's hair. Yep, true story on that baby hair. He got a reverse mohawk with black sharpie highlights during one such shower.

Fast forward ten years...ten years of egregious neglect? Not only is that baby ten, but he still has his mohawk. And my feet? My scaly legs? The ones that snag blankets? They have suffered.

Whoever said a sign of a happy home is a messy house got it wrong.

More Than a Jar of Moisturizer in EVERY Bottle?

The sign of a happy home sometimes includes happy kids and husband with a physical wreck of a mom without time or money for pedicures anymore because she would rather spend it with and on her family. No time for working lotion into neglected elbows, knees, and heels.

Enter Olay to the rescue again.

I have been an intensely loyal Olay fan for years. I'm actually pretty good about slathering my face with their products in my turbo-speed nightly ablutions. So I was quite excited when they sent me their Olay Ultra Moisture body wash in the mail.

They claimed it had more than a jar of moisturizer in every bottle.

Hmmm...I wonder if there was hope for my cracked hooves after all.

A week later? Their claim was correct. I actually felt the difference the first time I showered. This product was different. My skin felt so smooth and clean. Even better, I had time to take my Eldest, with his newly minted driver's permit (gulp!) for a short first lesson instead of trying to Crisco up my feet. (Not joking-that's the depths to which it has gotten.)

Silky Smooth Already

I think it's going to take a few more weeks, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Heck, I might glitter up my toes again.

In the meantime, my friends, I have a suggestion. Don't waste a decade neglecting yourself. Simplify your routine instead.

Speaking of simplifying, for a chance to win a $50 Visa gift card courtesy of BlogHer and Olay, leave me a comment or tweet telling me what are some of the best ways you have simplified your routine.

Congrats to Barbara Montag for winning

my Olay sponsored giveaway!

~~The Rules:~~

~~No duplicate comments. You may receive (2) total entries selecting from the following methods:~~

~~a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes to prompt on this post~~

~~b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post~~

~~c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post~~

~~d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.~~

This sweepstakes runs from 3/20 - 4/17. Be sure to visit the Olay Body Wash page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win! While we’re on the subject of looking good, you might want to check out the “Looking Your Best” posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great tips and expert posts!

I wrote this post while participating in the Olay program on behalf of BlogHer. I received product information to facilitate my post and monetary compensation for the time to write my post.

Did you like my post? Consider Subscribing!

Check out all my options for subscribing here!

Don't miss a single post!

I Have Failed As a Wife

2012-03-19T13:14:00.001-07:00

Or at least according to this 1939 marital survey:

Oh dear! Oh the demerits! Oh the red nail polish!

Good thing CG is also an abysmal failure. I write that with a smile. He and I are such a matched pair. I have never embraced "very poor" with such enthusiasm.

Hand over that paycheck baby!

How do you rate?

All Things Irish: Stout Cupcakes, Guinness Gingerbread, and Corned Beef

2012-03-17T17:01:00.012-07:00

My husband is all high on the Irish. For the record? He's Polish with a smattering of Irish, generations back. He did marry me, a Murphy girl, so Irish must be contagious.

This viral Irishman? He's made a several course menu tonight (after I convinced him to drop several dishes) including THREE desserts.

Shopping today, he told the grocery clerk his last name was Murphy. He told me this laughing his arse off. Oh really?? Really? I don't recall him hyphenating his name as I did.

Me thinks someone has touched the Blarney Stone, or drank one too many Guinnesses...my money's on the stout.

Speaking of stout, two of three desserts have that ingredient. The third was supposed to have Bailey's Irish cream, but it turns out we were out. I refused to go to the archaic Washington state run liquor store 15 minutes away. So now it's just going to be a Whisky ice cream to go with the Chocolate Stout Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting and Stout Gingerbread with Creme Anglaise.

Yes, three desserts to go with out corned beef and Colcannon (Mashed Potatoes, kale, leeks, and cabbage warm salad).

Stout Gingerbread (With Spiced Creme Anglaise Not Shown)

Source: Emerill Lagasse/Food Network

Ingredients

1 stick unsalted butter
1 cup turbinado sugar (recommended: Sugar in the Raw)
3 large eggs
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1 cup molasses
1 cup Guinness, or other dark beer
Spiced Creme Anglaise, recipe follows
Confectioners' sugar, for dusting

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a 13 by 9-inch cake pan and line with parchment paper. Grease the parchment paper and set aside.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar. Beat in the eggs 1 at a time. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, cloves, and nutmeg. In a third bowl, combine the molasses and beer and stir to dissolve. Add the dry ingredients and beer mixture alternately to the egg mixture, beating after the addition of each.

Pour into the prepared pan and bake until puffed and set, about 35 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool in the pan on a wire rack. Spoon the Creme Anglaise onto the middle of 12 dessert plates. Cut the gingerbread into 12 equal portions and place on plates. Sprinkle with confectioners' sugar and serve.

Spiced Creme Anglaise

2 cups heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon grated nutmeg
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
3 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar

Combine the cream, the zest, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Remove from the heat.

In a medium bowl, beat the egg yolks and sugar until pale and frothy, about 2 minutes. Slowly drizzle in 1/2 cup of the hot cream, whisking constantly. Return the mixture to warm milk and stirring constantly, cook over medium heat until thick, about 4 minutes. Remove from the heat and serve warm. (Or, to serve chilled, place in an ice bath to cool, then cover with plastic wrap, pressing down against the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until well chilled, about 2 hours.)

Yield: 2 cups Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 6 minutes Inactive Prep Time: if chilled, 2 hours

Chocolate Stout Cupcakes

Source: Dave Lieberman/Food Network

Ingredients

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa, plus more for dusting finished cupcakes
2 cups sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch fine salt
1 bottle stout beer (recommended: Guinness)
1 stick butter, melted
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
3 large eggs
3/4 cup sour cream
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened at room temperature
3/4 to 1 cup heavy cream
1 (1-pound) box confectioners' sugar

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the cocoa, sugar, flour, baking soda, and salt.

In another medium mixing bowl, combine the stout, melted butter, and vanilla. Beat in eggs, 1 at time. Mix in sour cream until thoroughly combined and smooth. Gradually mix the dry ingredients into the wet mixture.

Lightly grease 24 muffin tins. Divide the batter equally between muffin tins, filling each 3/4 full. Bake for about 12 minutes and then rotate the pans. Bake another 12 to 13 minutes until risen, nicely domed, and set in the middle but still soft and tender. Cool before turning out.

To make the icing

In a medium bowl with a hand mixer, beat the cream cheese on medium speed until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in the heavy cream. On low speed, slowly mix in the confectioners' sugar until incorporated and smooth. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until ready to use. Icing can be made several hours ahead and kept covered and chilled.

Top each cupcake with a heap of frosting and dust with cocoa.

Mmm...not sure what I am looking forward to more--those wonderful desserts-- or this:

Sigh...I'll keep him!

What's for your St. Pat's dinner tonight?

F@ck You, Depression

2012-03-17T08:10:00.003-07:00

Source: fuckyeahnailart.tumblr.com via Heather on Pinterest

I've been looking inward.

Doing a lot of belly button gazing.

Trying to get out of this stifling cocoon I'm in.

Source: hautemamasfaves.tumblr.com via Heather on Pinterest

All I really want to do is sleep....

Source: facebook.com via Heather on Pinterest

...and eat, and eat, and eat.

Source: Uploaded by user via Heather on Pinterest

Trying to gather strength.

Wipe the cobwebs from my mind.

Ignite an inner fire tamped by dark thoughts

Source: 28.media.tumblr.com via Heather on Pinterest

I visualize depression as a woman and try to summon a hatred for that bitch.

Apathy trumps emotion.

Source: iwastesomuchtime.com via Heather on Pinterest

Anger.

Any emotion.

Any emotion at all would be better than the lackluster numbness I feel now.

Source: fottus.com via Heather on Pinterest

I yearn for a super hero, but realize it's up to me.

On Health and Truths: Depression

2012-03-16T16:32:00.009-07:00

Taken months ago

Taken yesterday

I'd forgotten I'd taken the first photo until today. Yet, they seem so apropos. Last autumn, as leaves were turning a crisp auburn, I was euphoric on finally taking a healthy direction in my life. I had my uterine ablation and was hopeful that slashed a huge issue weighing heavily on my body. Another cortisone shot fixed my hand, albeit temporarily, adding another slash on my list of priorities. Reaching out to my doctor, medication was prescribed to help gastric reflux. Slash again.

At the time of the first photo, I was gaining momentum. Not healthy, still shaky, but on the right track. I was getting to the bottom of my health problems...

Or so I thought.

Now? Now I feel cold, numb. Now the symptoms, the fogginess, the depression, the memory loss still exist and after labs, endoscopies, mega doses of iron and vitamin D,and biopsies, I only know what it's not.

Not Sjogrens. Not Thyroid disease. Not Celiacs.

But I don't know what it is.

I have neurology appointments and biopsies for my inflamed liver in my future. My hand inflammation is back. The last cortisone shot was my last. Hand surgery was warned last time. In the meantime, I fallen off the precipice of hope and sunk into an abyss of self-loathing again.

I've taken to spending my days in depression on the couch. My house is a catastrophe. My head is a mess. My mind whirls on everything I need to do and then shuts down. I wear pajamas most days. All day. I am a disappointment to me. A failure to my family.

Weight loss thoughts seem far from my reach when I can't even seem to get off the couch. The only pleasure I take lately is from television and eating...and you can tell from my Instagram posts and the scale.

Yep, comfort food. Self-soothing. Self-medicating. Then comes self-hatred.

I've been faking life. Faking happiness. Faking success.

I went to a Hallmark event for bloggers yesterday. Surrounded by other bloggers, I pasted a smile I didn't mean on my face. One exercise suggested was to write our personal truth on a T-shirt.

This is what came to my mind

One of the Hallmark writers queried how blogging made us vulnerable. Well this is me.

Vulnerable.

So I hope you don't mind that I took my own advice. This is not a post on delicious food nor humorous anecdotes. No self-deprecation making light of being a ditsy mother. It's not an inspiration nor humorous. I am sharing me and where I am at this point.

After that event, I had lunch with my husband and then I came home and put back on my pajamas at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

Depression.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." As I compare those pictures, I wonder how one can steal that which never was.

Nutella Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Pie Recipe: Tartlets for Pi Day

2012-03-14T18:25:00.014-07:00

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Ahem.

You there? Guess what today was?

Nope, not my birthday or anniversary. Nope, not Ur-anus day! Sheesh, that was yesterday.

There are hints all around you!

It's Pi day, Pi day, gotta get down on Pi day!

Sooooo not sure that Ur-anus and Nutella Peanut Butter Cookie pie and a reference to Rebecca Black should ever be scribed in the same post, but guess what? It's my blog so I say, that's how I roll.

We take pie and Pi seriously in this household. Ser-i-ous!

As a secondary function, it does happen to be Einstein's birthday as well and I can say with assured conviction, after Li'l Man inadvertently checked out an adult biography on Einstein last fall to do his 4th grade biography, that man, while brilliant, was an utter shit-bag of a husband and father.... so chocolate pie seems doubly fitting.

Note to self: Make absolutely sure to check biography level for next kidlet report. We started with Evil Kneevil (my husband's idea) and I so did not need to learn from my 9-year-old that as a kid, "He liked to throw money at whores." Also did not need said grade-schooler to elucidate on the many mistresses, including ones related to him, that Einstein had.

Niiice!

So I digress because this post is all one big fat whopping excuse to mix Nutella, chocolate, smashed peanut butter cookies, cream cheese, butter, sugar, and whipping cream into one mass of disgustingly delicious, crumbly, creamy goodness.

It was for the kids, I pinky promise! Ahem...

Nutella Peanut Butter Tarts Recipe

22-24 Shortbread Peanut Butter Cookies (Nutter Butters/Mother's Peanut Butter Gauchos)
1 packet (9 large) Graham Crackers
1/2 cup Butter, melted
8 oz package of Cream Cheese, softened
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1-1/4 cup Nutella, divided
1-3/4 cup Heavy Whipping Cream, divided
1/2 cup Chocolate Chips
2 tbsp Peanut Butter
Non-Stick Cooking Spray

Crumb Crust: Spray two mini-muffin pans with non-stick spray. Break up graham crackers and cookies in food processor and grind until fine crumbs. Melt one stick (1/2 cup) butter in microwave. Add melted butter crumbs and whirl a few more times in processor. Press 1 heaping tablespoon into each muffin opening. Press crumbs gently along bottom and sides. Put pans in freezer to chill. Be sure to eat a spoonful or three of this just to make sure it's good enough for your family.

Filling: Whip 8 ounces cream cheese in mixer. Add 1/2 cup sugar and mix. Add 1 tablespoon vanilla and 1 cup Nutella and blend well. Scrap sides of bowl. Add 1/2 cup cream and mix. Add last 1/2 cup cream and whip on high for 3-4 minutes until thick. Put all of filling in quart ziploc bag and snip corner of bag.

Piping Ser-i-ous

Assembling Tartlets and Pies: Pipe filling into 24 mini tartlets, filling them high. There will be extra crumb crust and filling, so feel free to improvise. Any extra you have, you can squirt into the cavernous pit called a teenager's mouth. Place all tartlets and pies in freezer for 1 hour. Use knife to pop out of muffin pans. Be sure to pop one in your mouth for quality control.

Mmm Nutella pies and icy cold vodka in my freezer

Dark Chocolate Nutella Ganache Melt chocolate chips on high in microwave for 30 seconds, and then in 10 second increments until melted. Add 1/4 cups cream and 1/4 cups Nutella and stir until smooth. Throw in in microwave for additional 15 seconds if needed.

Whipped Cream: Take remaining 1/2 cup cream. Whip on low for 2-3 minutes then on high for 3 or more minutes until stiff peaks form. Add 2 tablespoons sugar and whip one more minute. Young kids and inpatient tweens are always very good testers for whipping cream readiness.

Peanut Butter Drizzle: Place peanut butter in small bowl. Melt 10-20 seconds in microwave or until smooth and thin.

Drizzle with ganache and peanut butter to taste. Top with whipping cream. Keep refrigerated.

Voila!

Happy Pi and Pie Day, y'all!

* Credit Where Credit is Due: While I did substantially change the recipe because I am like that--can't seem to ever just follow a recipe--I did want to give a major shout out to EatLiveRun.com , aStepInTheJourney.com, and Lauren's Latest for my inspiration!

And People Wonder Why Britney Spears Had a Mental Break (VIDEO)

2012-03-08T12:55:00.004-08:00

Usually I do not go for sob stories of celebrities. They get paid and paid well so having no privacy is a minor consequence. However, this mob of Britney Spears while she looks so lost, just wanting to go out to a simple meal with her sister, while she is heckled?

It's insane. I would have gone insane. I get hives just watching it. This is not right about our society. It bring new meaning to "Til the World Ends."

My New Aversion Diet Plan: Watch Strange Addiction Before a Meal

2012-03-06T11:37:00.009-08:00

Oh, hello there! I hope you have not eaten lunch yet. I have something special just for you as a pre-digestive aid:

"The tissue is here, in my hand...and I get busy..."

"My toenails are my babies"

Yep, soooo not hungry now. You either? You are most welcome. Welcome to Scout's Aversion diet!

Ok, now off to work on my bulimic diet with Bob Harper. Glad to have been of service!

Anyone else feel this overwhelming urge as a parent or rational human being to sneak into these women's homes with an industrial strength toe nail clipper and nail file???!!

Trainer Bob Harper Made Me Feel Like The Biggest Loser Today

2012-03-05T23:29:00.000-08:00

____________________________________________________________________________

Source: My Trainer Bob.com

Today kicked my butt, my friends.

Or really, @#$% Bob Harper kicked my butt.

Yep, Biggest Loser Bob Harper. The one who seems so nice. So friendly. So caring on television.

He. Is. Evil.

I had this fabulous idea when Bob was selling all his DVDs for 75% off last week that I would buy all ten. All ten. Lofty goals? I have them. They came Friday.

They sat on the coffee table all week-end, but no way was I going to be doing these with witnesses ... especially snarky witnesses like my uber fit and sporty competitive swimmer kids I have 25+ years on. They swim up to 9 times a week.

Me? I drive the car and sadly, for the latest few years, that has been the extent of my workout.

So me huffing and puffing in front of the kids? Not going to happen. I give them enough material to mock me.

So today it was. I made jokes about how my neighbors would be able to blame all the noise coming from my house on trainer Bob. Sadly, this was something we call foreshadowing.

I chose the so-called "beginner's" DVD and then? Then began a spiraling, dispiriting 35 minute descent into fiery hell that ended in dry heaving, collapsing knees, eyes rolling back, and shrieks.

This. Was. No. Beginner's. Tape.

Sorry, pardon my French, but the words, "F@ck me" between retching in the kitchen sink became a far too common pattern and I was unable to finish the last 10 minutes. Bleach anyone?

Back between heaves, I tried again. More lunges, more planks, more jumping jacks with weights. Oh my Focking stars... Oh the dizzy!

Have you ever seen those TV shows when Spot the dog knows his owner is about to enter diabetic shock or experience an epileptic seizure? Dogs just know.

Well Seb just knew.

He knew something was very, very wrong. He whined. He pawed at me. He cocked his head at his crazy human lady contorting her body when she's usually ensconced on the couch with his head on her feet.

Why she so red and huffy?

I was sure he was telling me I was about to have an aneurism. I know I was bloody stroking out. All the while that damned Bob kept yelling, "Just keep going."

Yes, Bob. I get you. I keep "going" to the sink because I have never, ever felt this nauseated in my life. Not on the first week of track in high school. Not fencing in college. Not in Army Basic Training. Not even running the wretched Berkeley Hills in Army ROTC at Cal. Nope, not on any of those periods in my life did I feel like I was going to DIE! Suddenly all those retching pots on the Biggest Loser made sense.

Evil, evil Bob. I understand the Bob Harper diet plan. You made me exercise bulimic. Damn you. You also made my entire head the most appealing beet red.

Two hours later, this is what I looked like:

Who needs blush when Bob's around, eh?

No blush needed thanks to @mytrainerbob! I was still flushed from his workout two hours before. By then, lucky girl that I am, the nausea had waned. I'm guessing this Irish girl is going to have many a flushed cheeks in the future!!

Now exactly twelve hours later? After driving my kids back from swimming, I can barely move. My butt. My thighs. They are now screaming at me. And tomorrow? I am sure I'll be screaming at Bob again. But again I will. Getting right back on that pony. F@ck me!

~Scout

PS I so totally am going to have my very fit athlete kids do this work out. If they scream, I'll know it's not me! Beginner's tape? Hah! My throbbing right butt cheek, Boooob! XOXO!

PPS While we are talking Biggest Loser and just loser, I wanted to share a tweet I made today that Kate Gosselin retweeted. Yes, THE Kate Gosselin. So cool. The quote was :

..And just between you and me, Bob, Conda has got to go because YOU are not a jerk whisper either.