Power doesn’t always appear as you would expect.

I’m fortunate to still have my maternal grandmother in my life. She has been able to watch my first born grow into a young woman. She continues to be a presence which reminds me of how quiet one can be while exerting tremendous influence.

For all of my 40+ years, I have watched my grandmother be a quiet example of loving support and acceptance. I have witnessed her support her children and grandchildren through difficult times and choices without exerting her own opinions or wishes.

She is funny and wise, graceful and caring. Early in her life she survived both the death of her mother and cancer. She can be counted on for listening, acceptance and killer Christmas goodies. She is one of my favorite people.

She doesn’t wave banners or brandish words. She supports her church, cooks meals for those in need, and participates in potlucks. She remembers her family at birthdays and holidays.

Being in power

We often devalue our personal power. We think power is highfalutin, forceful or insistent. What we fail to realize is that just by being we, are powerful.

Often the fighting and resisting against what we don’t want, that may feel like power, is merely force. It is a relinquishing of power, given over to short sighted reaction.

When we are truly grounded in our being, we are powerfully living in step with our values. We have less need to control and more desire to flow with what is.

We often never realize just how much we’ve influenced the world around us. My grandmother might be surprised that I’m telling her story in response to this campaign.

I’d love to hear in the comments, or in your own blog post for this campaign, a story of power from a grandma-type in your life.

Photo credit: pem.org

While having a vague awareness of who Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton was, I’d never learned much about him. Today he appeared before me through two completely disparate sources in the space of a few minutes. I figured this meant I ought to pay attention.

As I thought about his deep longing to fulfill a dream and the dangers he endured chasing it, I realized there was a part of me that feared I was going to encounter the same in the pursuit of my passions and healing.

I wondered if sometimes you do, too.

Sacrifice and Safety

When the expedition requires we journey into ourselves, and start telling the truth, there are many unknowns. There is no way to see how the journey will go, what perils you’ll find along the way, and if you’ll have the strength of will or resources to face them.

There’s no way to know what you’ll be required to let go to make it to the other side.

There is a story that Shackleton and his crew were forced to sacrifice the dogs that had aided and accompanied them on their journey. What will you have to release that has been with you, perhaps for your whole life, in order to move forward?

Here’s the thing, you do not have to figure it out all by yourself. Just like Shackleton, most of us have support at hand if we’d only ask. However, it’s often difficult to ask because you worry about looking weak or crazy. Usually what you find when you reach out for help and share your story, is that you’re not the only one, and there are valuable ideas to be found when you enlist the help you need.

Unlike Shackleton

The difference between your journey and Shackleton’s is that yours only seems equally daunting at the outset. While he set out on his expeditions fed, funded and fully staffed, most people set foot on a deep life change because they are desperate, tired of the current situation and depleted. While Shackleton’s situation became increasingly dire as the journey wore on, you will find the opposite is true.

Indeed times may get rather dark, and there may be tough choices along the way. However, what you find as you gently move forward, releasing fears and gaining strength to live the life you’re wishing for, is that you do not become depleted. As you release old patterns, and replace them with new behaviors that fit who you are, you becoming increasingly refreshed. You are no longer tired and hungry all the time, constantly seeking respite. Navigating challenges becomes easier as you move along.

So how about this: consider embarking on this journey before you’re depleted? I don’t have all the answers. Maybe it is sometimes necessary for the situation to get to a “breaking point” before we can fully commit to making lasting change. However, wouldn’t it be interesting to find out what happens when you can approach the journey with hope and excitement, rather than desperation?

Is the floor perfect? I think it is.

Is it free from all blemishes? Not in the least.

There are scars and uneven spots and marks from years of wear and old debris. They are part of the character, even while it is fresh and clean with a new coating of polyurethane.

We didn’t know what we were doing really when we started. Mr. Man and I are pretty savvy when it comes to construction, but we had never tackled a nasty, old floor before. We were willing to get down and dirty. We didn’t run, even when it felt impossible. We relied on our general understanding of woodworking. When we weren’t sure what to do we found people that had previous experience with similar projects.

Soul work is very similar. A lot of the time it looks like figuring it out on your own, learning as you go. You are the only one that’s seen the scars and underbelly of the issue up close. However, some of the time, it is easier and goes faster if you enlist the support of someone who’s worked through similar situations, or has expertise in areas different from your own.

In the end, the scuffs and wear are still there, adding richness to your experience. But when you’ve had the courage to dive into restoring your connection with your soul, you remove the old stinky stuff that’s built up, and reveal a gem. You clear away all the debris and what you put back is a clear new perspective. The new beliefs allow the real you to shine through.

Gently uncovering the Soul

In Part I of this series, we were just figuring out how to reveal the hardwood floor in this lovely old space. That tool that’s joined the party is a wallpaper steamer. We tried scraping, picking, and citrus based stripper. These resulted in frustration, floor gouges and splotchy results. We found the most effective method was also the gentlest and required the least effort. The steamer sits there and we come back every few minutes and wipe away the now soggy paper and slippery glue. As you can see, 1/2 the room is uncovered in this picture, and looking much better than the first efforts.

This method for restoring the floor requires the most patience as well. I don’t really have to DO much of anything. I can go work on the rest of the space.

• Scraping
• Cleaning
• Priming
• Patching
• Painting

Most of the work is going on underneath that little white rectangle. I get impatient sometimes and go pick and scrape prematurely, thinking I can see faster results by forcing it.

I’ve started the process. I’ve created the best environment (wet and steamy). I’m only required to check in regularly to easily lift away the nasty black paper and gently wash away the stinky residue. But sometimes I just want it to go faster, even if it’s not ready.

Sound familiar?

It’s hard to trust the process, isn’t it? Revealing your soul’s wisdom is similar to this project. Many of the changes start to happen in very invisible ways. You only notice them when you check in and see that something’s been wiped clean. You have a fresh perspective or new way of living.

During the steamy in-between time you might become impatient. You might revert to old habits or decide to scrap it, searching for some shiny life distraction so you can forget the change you want that’s not happening fast enough. You might start to think you were a fool for even trying to restore your true wisdom.

Frustration and fear that it won’t work; excitement when you see the possibility of what’s being revealed: these are all part of the process. Just keep checking in, gently clearing away what is no longer necessary and appreciating what you find when you get down to your deep, wise inner beauty. In between, while you’re going about your business, changes are happening.

I’ll keep you posted on my current restoration project. I’d love to hear about yours.

Did you look at that picture and wonder why the hell I attached it to this post? I sometimes look at that picture and wonder why the hell I started the project it represents. What you’re looking at is the floor found underneath the paper and glue, which were found under the linoleum, in a lovely room my hubby and I are renovating for my new practice space. (Yay!)

The dirty bits of floor that you see revealed are a few square feet, painstakingly uncovered over a few hours, while we figured out the best way to tackle this project.

Now, you have to understand that we debated what to do with this floor. We factored in the cost of our time, the cost of a new product, the cost of our sanity. Of course, we get rolled eyes and furrowed brows from people wondering why we are doing it at all, when there are much faster, easier ways to a good-looking floor.

 Covering the Soul

Opting to lay down new flooring would have saved a lot of headache and quickly given us a shiny new something to look at. However, I would have walked on it knowing the soulful hardwood was hidden under there, hastily covered up because it was too much work to care for. That floor is part of who this building is.

I kept getting pulled back to the metaphor of it all. How often in our daily lives do we gravitate toward the new and shiny; the fast and easy? How effective are those things at distracting us when our soul is calling for care?

So I sat down on my stinky, dirty, covered up floor. I looked at it peeking out in little bits, and began figuring out how to let it shine again. I thanked it for reminding me that this is the work I do with the beautiful people who flow through my practice, and it is the work I do for myself. We restore our trust in soul wisdom, allowing it to shine.

Usually this is how soul-work feels at the outset, too.

• Where do I start?
• What do I do?
• Will it be worth it?
• It seems so hard.

You feel the little niggle of something peeking through, and you maybe pick at it a little bit and find something beautiful underneath. It reminds you of who you really are, underneath all the slick, easy care cover-ups that maybe don’t fit so well anymore. Just like a shiny new floor doesn’t look quite right in a room that’s over 100 years old.

I’ll be back soon with an update on how this project is progressing. In the meantime, let me know what your favorite cover-ups are or how you’re choosing to get back to your true wisdom.

Immediately upon entering this position I experience what yoga instructors might call “an intense sensation in the body”.

Right. My hips and knees burn like hell.

However, as I am still, and breathe deeply into my belly, into those joints, into the experience, tiny adjustments begin to happen. Little releases and relaxations, imperceptible from the outside, create more ease.

I have other choices while I’m in this position:

• Squirm and wiggle impatiently
• Become panic stricken, breathing shallowly and/or holding my breath.
• Judge myself about how stupid my joints are.
• Quit.

None of these will help my mind state or any long standing benefit I hope to achieve with my joints or my practice in general.

Have you ever been in a non-yoga situation that presented these same options? Something in your life that is worrisome or frightful and gets you tightly constricted? Which of these comes naturally to you? What would you like to develop into a habit?

Part of the work in a mentoring relationship is to build the release muscle. You increase ability to stay steady in discomfort, to breathe deeply and trust in your abilities and the process that is your life.

Being able to relax into your experience often has no outward symptoms to the casual observer. However, as you become more deeply aware of what’s going on within, your soul’s wishes, listen, and respond accordingly, the internal experience is vastly different.
• Overwhelm and panic become calm assuredness.
• Running from what you fear becomes steady appreciation for the lesson beneath.
• Worry that nothing ever changes becomes trust that what’s present is necessary, and will pass when you’ve released what no longer serves.

One of the simplest ways to achieve these states is through breathing deeply into the belly. It is always available to you, costs nothing, and shifts most any perspective or emotional state. It gives you time to internally readjust.

For those bigger, more stuck patterns, I’m always honored to come along for the ride when you need a little help with the constriction.

Be well.

Sparkling sidewalks paved the way for my walk today. The frost provided a fitting celebratory adornment.

Today marks the one year anniversary of my date with walking.

For the first 90 days, I walked every day. Since then, I have missed very few. I don’t think I’d need to go beyond my 10 fingers to count them.

This does a lot for self trust.

What would it mean if one year from now you could say you kept a promise to yourself? What if you picked one small but important something, and honored it and yourself enough to make a promise.

And a year later, found you had kept it?

How would that change the story of your capabilities? What you deserve? Your ability to trust?

What does it mean if you read this and are convinced you could never?

I believe you could.

Looking for some support along the way? Get in touch. I’d love to be of service.

During this time, you would give yourself zero shit for not doing the “right” things if they didn’t occur to you. You would also serve yourself no crap for doing things that were “wrong” if they did.
Those little thoughts? The ones that you barely register. A flicker of something that crosses your mind. That’s what I’m talking about.

“Outside.” The thought flits through in an instant.
Go. Stand. Outside.
“Skip the dishes.”
Let. Them. Be. (For now anyway. I suspect you’ll feel like doing them later.)

Hold on a minute…

I know, I know. I’ve heard the objections, not only from the people I work with, but also from my own inner critic.

“Butbutbut, if I did that I’d just sit around doing nothing,

or nothing important.”

Important often gets skewed. What if a day of doing nothing were important? What if it turned out a few hours of doing exactly what felt like the right thing actually made you more likely to do those other things you think are so important?

What if allowing yourself to listen to the little whispers taught you that you could trust yourself, your soul, to lead you in the right direction; in the big stuff and the small?

What good does it do?

Sounds like you’d just be let off the hook, right? When did it become OK to be on a hook anyway?

If you are feeling fear and contraction at the mere thought of this, it’s probably time to take a look at what’s got you hooked.

Being tied into either doing things you don’t want to do, or not giving yourself permission to do the things your soul is crying for ends up costing you. Are tired, overwhelmed or irritable your frequent companions? Then you’re ignoring those soul whispers.

Take a little listen. What would make you feel better? Numbing out or truly honoring the little whisper?

“By myself.”
Go find a quiet corner. No apologies needed.

Doing the things you think are dragging you down becomes much easier when you’re frequently filling yourself up by listening AND ACTING on those little nudges. If permission to do this sounds like the scariest thing ever or your looking for some support in clearing what’s blocking your ability to care for yourself, give me a shout. My passion is releasing those bonds so you can live as you wish, not as you ‘ought’.(They are really both the same once you’re aligned with what you truly want.)

What are the whip fast thoughts that run through your mind at the idea of taking a little time to try this? Are there quick wishes whispered to you, or gloomy admonitions that trying this would lead to doom and damnation?

I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

the mirror never lies

it’s the girl behind the eyes

what’s she lying about

worried she might find out

keeping up appearances that never appear

in the mirror

__________________________________________________________

Do you see your magnificence when you’re looking back at yourself?

Ready to release the self-doubt that drives the mirror judgements?

Wanna give it a try?

Prompted by Tara’s gorgeous post, I finally made space in my day to be in the water. Over the past couple of weeks, all the symbolism in my life has been water related. From feeling like I could no longer tread, drowning; to being reminded of the difference between that and softening, floating. I can’t drink enough of it. I’ve craved baths, which is unusual for me.  I’ve had pullings to get myself to the lake.

A big cleansing is going on around here.

So out I went today, to stand in big water. Even as I came around the corner and it came into view, my heart made a little leap of anticipation. I walked along the shore. I stood in it and let it lap at me while the sun shone on my face and the breeze pushed me. The soft lapping sounds stilled my mind. I meditated and grounded. My feet disappeared as I became one with the silt beneath them.

Softening

Where can you soften into what’s hard right now?

Where can you float instead of sculling wildly?

And even in the middle of the hard, can you feel the breeze, turn your face up and allow the sun to warm your eyelids?

Support

If you’re being called to soften, to learn to flip onto your back and float in the warm pool of your life, I am honored to offer support. Maybe you’re feeling like right now a life jacket is what you need. Perhaps all you need is someone to gently guide you into the ideal position because floating feels awkward.

I’m here if you’re ready.