Below are two stills from Tila’s livestream last night that were forwarded to me by Wendie and it’s not just the usual peep show we all look forward to (ahem. Sarcasm.) Miss Tequila must have forgotten that it was that time of the month, because right between those two toned butt cheeks was one very white, very noticeable, very undeniable TAMPON STRING.

Look, I ain’t making fun of the girl for having her period. Overshare: I have mine right now. I too have a tampon in RIGHT AS I TYPE THIS. However, you will notice one difference between the Tila and the rest of the world: When you’ve got a tampon in, keep your panties ON. And most definitely do not broadcast that ish on the interweberoonies where everyone in the world can see your damn string.

And before we catch flack for posting these insensitively: this is not like when Britney had that period stain on her panties and was caught by the paps. This is not some woman being taken advantage of and being exploited for what happens to her naturally. This is Tila Tequila, spreading ‘em on a live stream when she knows she has a tampon in.

The pictures below are NSFW or NSFAnywhere, so you’ve been warned:

Remember like a billion years ago when we asked you guys to send us your very best proposal stories to win a trip to Las Vegas or Napa? It was a contest we were running to celebrate the release of The Proposal on DVD, but it didn’t feel like work — we had such a fantastic time reading all the entries and laughing our asses off. I don’t think we got even a single entry that wasn’t either funny or interesting or just bizarre.

We’re a little late on announcing the winner; the process got a bit derailed when everyone in the office had the flu for like two weeks. But we read every single entry, and we discussed, and we voted, and we are SO EXCITED about our winner, Liz from North Carolina.

Here’s Liz’s entry, which we thought was funny and touching and definitely unique:

My boyfriend came over to my apartment while I was outside walking the dog. I wasn’t expecting him, so I ran up and hugged him. He didn’t hug me back and wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I asked him what was wrong and he said “I need to talk to you about something; I wrote you a letter to explain everything.” He had once tried to break up with me in a letter, so I was furious. I ran upstairs and he gave me an envelope. I opened it, cursing him “You fucking asshole, we have been together forever and now you’re breaking up with me?!” It was a swirly lettered card that said “Congratulations on Your Engagement.” I was confused. On the inside of the card, my boyfriend had written “That is, if you say yes.” I looked up from my angry tears to see that my husband was kneeling down on one knee with a ring. I realized what was happening. I started to cry even more and I said, “Yes, you asshole!!!” and beat him with the engagement card. I later asked him why he would propose to me in such a completely unromantic way, and he said “Well, you knew I was probably going to propose soon, and I wanted to make sure you were surprised.”

Congratulations to Liz and her husband!! We can’t wait to hear all about your trip! Make sure to send pics!!!

Ed and I had so much fun making a video for you last week that we decided to do it again this week. And every week until you stop calling me a man and Ed a lesbian in the comments section. In other words: WE’RE HERE TO STAY. Kinda. Unless Sasha fires me. Hey, Sasha. Please don’t do that. I have a chihuahua to feed. Love you, gurl. This week we’re talking about Oprah, Mariah and Levi Johnston’s dick (or lack there of).

BTW, if you want more of me or Ed you can find our Twitters here and here.

Now back to the news…

There’s no nice way for me to say this and I really don’t know or care about anything Twilight related, but K-Stew and R-Patz looked like death warmed over at the premiere of New Moon in NYC. Kristen’s dress is great and her skin is looking flawless, but both of them look worn down to bits. Their “people” should have just let them skip the event and take a nap because from the looks of it, they are in dire need of a Z session.

Super serious and very important business woman Kim Kardashian can’t help but laugh at Star Magazine’s accusations that she got her lips and nose reduced by a size and took to her blog to say  that the whole thing is a crock. “Why would someone want smaller lips?! LOL” I wonder if she really L’d OL or if she was just saying she was L-ingOL. Man, that’s going to bug me all day.

Kim claims that the before and after pictures chosen by the rag were ones from before and after a 20-pound weight loss, so obviously her face (and the rest of her) are going to look differently. “Your face always looks different when you lose weight, plus with the contouring on my nose it gives the illusion of a thinner nose. I actually think my nose looks smaller in the first pic than it does in the second. It’s ridiculous… it’s all about the makeup and the angle from which the photo was taken!” This woman is a genius! Genius I tell you!

I’m all for plastic surgery rumors, hell, they are what keep me in business, but I have to say for once that I side with the moron with the large butt. How desperate do you have to be to take two photos that were taken months apart and in different lighting and compare them to make a story? There are much more obvious offenders than KK out there and I could read about 100 more stories on Nicole Kidman’s Frankenface before I read any more bull about what’s obviously a good make up job.

Beside, if Kim was really going to go under the knife, wouldn’t there be a “very special Keeping Up With the Kardashians” two-parter? I’m thinking there would be. These dolls can barely take a dump without having the whole thing filmed.

I wasn’t aware that the Jamiroquai look was back, but what the hell do I know? Last night at LAX, Victoria Beckham strolled out wearing a hat that looks kind of familiar. I think maybe the last time I saw someone wearing a hat like that I was sitting on the living room floor doing my 8th grade math homework. Yes, yes it was. I was watching this music video. Posh, I’d like to thank you and your stupid hat for getting this song stuck in my head for the next 24 hours.

Beyonce continued on her tour last night with a stop in Edmonton and surprised the audience with a rare cover of Anita Baker’s “Sweet Love”. I don’t think I’ve heard this song anywhere but the grocery store in the last decade, but Bey rocked it out like it was her own and that dress? That dress? Can we talk about how damn fine mama looks in that dress? The House of Dereon has been doing Bey right these days, that’s all I’m saying. Jeezey peezey.

What do you think about the cover?

Like every girl in history who has ever been through a break up, you know that every where you go you are reminded of that person. You hear something funny on TV that you both would have laughed at, “your song” comes on the radio, you run in to a mutual acquaintance. Just because someone is out of your life doesn’t mean you’re going to forget them any time soon, and that’s what Rihanna says she’s dealing with right now.

Even though she and Chris Brown have been done for awhile, the singer says there are constant reminders in their relationship. “There are a lot of … places that we’ve been to together, music, different things that come up that are reminders of your ex. When [his music] comes on the radio, I don’t … turn it off. I like his music. I’ve gotten over it, but there are definitely constant reminders … songs that were our favorite songs, or hit songs.”

Sounds familiar, right? Also, let us not forget that Rihanna and Chris remixed her biggest hit to date “Umbrella” together, so every time she performs that song, the memory must come creeping back to her as well.

Ahhh, break ups are sad, especially under these circumstances. I have no snark for you on this one today.

First of all, Miley and her family are safe, don’t let the headline freak you out too badly. However, one of the four busses used in her tour flipped over last night in Richmond, VA while on the way to the star’s next show in Greensboro, NC.

The bus that flipped was mainly used to stage lighting and there were a handful of crew members on board, but the one presumed to be dead is the bus driver. All other nine passengers on board, however, did suffer minor injuries.

At this time it’s not clear why the bus drifted away from the pack. These accidents often happen due to weather, intoxication, mechanical issues with the vehicle or unicorns. OK. I made that last one up.

No comment has been issued from the Cyrus camp.

I don’t go to church every Sunday and I don’t own rosary beads.  I don’t observe religious holidays and I inwardly groan when I get a wedding invite and realize that it means I’ll have to sit through an entire mass.  How.Ev.Er.  I believe that God exists and he does answer prayers.  Today, I have proof.

Today, Oprah is expected to announce that she’s ending her show.  After 25 interminably fucking long years, it will finally be over in 2011.  This has been like suffering through the world’s longest colonoscopy.

I was rejoicing about this good news on Facebook when a few people tried to take the shine off my elation by pointing out that O will just be moving her show to her long-awaited — and I’d like to personally meet the people who are waiting for this — Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN).  Yeah, I don’t care about that.  As long as I keep out of the high 200’s when I’m channel surfing, I should be okay in avoiding her.

Can you even imagine what this new OWN is going to be like?  If you suffer from depression, low self-esteem, have suicidal tendencies or are just having a bad day, STAY AWAY FROM OPRAH’S NEW NETWORK!  Because Oprah is awesome.  And almighty.  And living her highest and most purposeful life.  We simple commoners cannot possibly understand such complex concepts that are discussed on O as evidenced by Oprah constantly taking the words of her guests, chewing them up and serving them pureed style to her apparently idiotic audience (”Do you get that, people?  What she’s saying is that her husband cheated on her, but she’s choosing to move on.”)

Personally, I’m glad that O is waddling off into the sunset.  I hope she finds tons, and I do mean tons, of success at her new network.  Anything to keep her off the main stations where I could accidentally come in contact with her when I’m desperately searching for Full House reruns.

Have I mentioned how much I love Coco? Love her, love her, love her. I love how she seems to have a rock solid relationship with Ice-T, and how he’s totally okay with her running around public events wearing what basically amounts to a washcloth and heels. Because that’s what she does, and he gets it, and at the end of the day she’s going home with him. I don’t know why but I just have this sense that they have a really true-love relationship, and I just adore how she never quits rocking those curves.

Coco and Ice-T attended the JM magazine launch party in NYC last night.

Wait, I don’t understand. Why didn’t they just use this photo? How is this an outtake?

Some unused shots from Megan’s photo shoot for her NYT magazine pics “accidentally” hit the Internet, a phenomenon that occurs more often with Megan Fox than with any starlet ever before her. Megan Fox’s team needs to do a better job of keeping a lid on her hyper-sexualized photo outtakes or they’re just going to keep causing a sensation on the Internet over and over and over again. And nobody wants that, right?

I’ve gotta say, though, one of Megan’s more redeeming qualities is that she doesn’t pose for pics like this and then run around in interviews like “Why does everybody sexualize me? It’s not fair!” I mean, she owns it, and I gotta respect that. I also don’t think I could do that with my leg, so I respect that, too.