While no one can physically live in the past too many people remain there emotionally; that behavior limits today and absolutely jeopardizes tomorrow.

Which of the following lists better describes your thoughts and behavior today?

Today I:

List A

• Enjoyed the people I interacted with.
• Noticed/appreciated my surroundings.
• Focused on what I was doing while doing it.
• Felt engaged by and involved with most things I did.

 Today I:

List B

• Wasn’t motivated to interact with others.
• Was unaware of my surroundings.
• Was unable to focus.
• Felt detached from others and disengaged from most everything.

“List A” incorporates the traits of someone enjoying and involved in his/her everyday life, and “List B” includes behaviors of someone not present in his/her day.  For many, the state of “absence” is a result of being trapped in the past; for others it is more likely the fear, stress and worry about the future.

The struggle to stay in the present, regardless of the issues causing you to miss out on today, is an irreplaceable loss.  Do you realize that you have a choice in whether or not to do this?  You do!  It may not be the easiest choice, but it is one you can manage.

Certainly an important part of letting go of the past requires discovering, addressing and understanding why you remain imprisoned there.  If you feel unable to make that journey you should consider working with a professional to get through this  process; this same approach can be equally as helpful in overcoming the fears and projections about the future which prevent you from appreciating the gift of the present.

Your past will always play a part in your future, but you have the right and the responsibility to be selective about how much influence you give it.  Your future is unknown, so why sacrifice your present for it?

Who you are today reflects the risks you took, the lessons you learned and the choices you made yesterday.  Those choices determined your past and contributed to your present, but your present is shaping your future.

Ask yourself what kind of tomorrow you are likely to have if you spend today stuck in yesterday?

Originally recorded on February 22, 2012. | Receive Future Webinar Invites by Email

photo credit: joiseyshowaa

Past chapters of your money story reveal how your current financial situation evolved from childhood messages received/perceived.

More recent chapters demonstrate how those messages were internalized and actualized with regard to financial safety, stability and security.

If you want to write future chapters featuring increased emotional stability and improved financial circumstances this webinar is for you.

In this webinar, we will discuss:

• Understand what your money story contributed to your current financial situation.
• Prevent your past money story from determining your financial future.
• Benefit from the lessons your money story has to teach you.
• Become the author of future chapters with more positive outcomes.

The only thing certain is change.

DO YOU THINK CHANGE CAN BE CONTROLLED?

Change is everywhere; it is constant.  It is challenging; it is exciting; it can be good or not so good; it can be dreaded or anticipated.

How do you feel about change? 

• Do you consider it a good thing?
• Do you watch for it or work for it?
• Do you hope for it or avoid it?
• Do you feel part of the changes in your life, or do you feel apart from them?

Does controlling change sound idealistic or unrealistic?  Obviously, there are many parts of our lives that are far beyond our control, but since change is about “making something or someone different” you absolutely have the ability to contribute to change,rather than allowing the changes in your life to always result from outside influences.

Change is about choice and choice is about decision making.  Both may be overwhelming and intimidating without an understanding of what each is and the tools and skills to negotiate them.  Do you have what you need to make good choices?  If you don’t, what is missing?

Taking control of your money is a choice.  It is a choice which can and will change your life over time.  The benefits of making this choice far surpass the changes required to do so, but like all choices and decisions only you can determine how important it is to you.

What do you need to make the choice to take control of your money?

• More knowledge
• More incentive
• More money
• More help
• More time

Everything on that list can certainly play a role in your choice, but you don’t really need any of them.  All you need is the commitment to do so because all change begins with commitment and all commitment begins with you.  Are you ready to make that commitment?

The degree to which you can control the changes in your life are proportionate to your commitment to doing so.  Choosing to take control of your money has the added benefit of helping you gain control of your life.

Financial Social Work Best Practices

ALL graduates of the Financial Social Work Certification are asked to remember (to):

It is meant to indicate that money, or the lack of it, impacts your quality of life: where you live, the food or transportation you can/can’t afford, the education/job you have access to and so on.  It is also meant to demonstrate the very significant connection between your money story and your life story.

Your money story is an integral part of every word and chapter of your life story; it has much to teach you when you listen to it.

First and foremost is that your current financial circumstances are the result of your past money story.

When you realize how true this is you can begin to recognize the potential benefits of this insight.  They are many beginning with:

• A clearer understanding of the role of money in your life.
• The chance to recognize financial patterns.
• How healthy your relationship with your money is/isn’t.
• How well your thoughts, feelings and attitudes about money serve you.
• Weather you need/want to rethink your financial behavior.
• The opportunity to learn from past mistakes, rather than to keep repeating them.
• The ability to begin the journey to a better financial future.

Obviously, there are many steps required to make the shift from passive to proactive author.  The good news is that once you make the choice to do so there are countless ways for you to succeed.   It may not be as easy as you might wish, but it will most likely not be nearly as difficult as you might anticipate.

Making the choice is always the first step and if you read this blog regularly you know that making the commitment is the next one.  With those two steps in place you are much more prepared to write future chapters with better outcomes.

Begin by attending our FREE webinar at 2 PM Eastern today:  Everyone has a Money story: How Well Do YOU Know Yours?   https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/418746992

Of course, your money story is only one part of your life story, admittedly a crucial one, so today’s blog provides the context from which to examine your money story as it relates to your life story.  Both begin at birth and their chapters unfold over days, weeks, months and years.

Your story doesn’t start with “once upon a time,” nor does it include the “happily ever after…” learned in childhood because it is not a novel.  It is, instead, the reality of your days.  Each chapter is unique and deserving of your attention.  

However, only by paying attention to your story’s central theme are you able to begin to write better and different chapters.  The story of who you are today isn’t one that happened to you.  It is one based upon the choices you’ve made and the outcomes which resulted.

If where you are in your life today isn’t where you want to be, it is likely you haven’t been proactive in the management of your life (and your story.)  If you are ready to create change in your life and your story then there is much you can learn from previous chapters.

Do you think of you life as a story?  You are always sharing parts of it with friends, family and new acquaintances as you recount things that have happened recently or in the past.  As its author you edit your narrative with each retelling.

Regardless of whether your story revisions are large or small, conscious or subconscious, all are purposeful; each provides the opportunity to learn more about your life, from your story.

Are you familiar with your most common story modifications?  Are they exaggerations or minimizations; are they falsifications or eliminations?  When you are ready and willing to explore why you alter your story the way you do you will begin to discover how to write chapters less in need of editing.

Get started by attending our FREE webinar this Wednesday (February 22^nd) at 2 PM Eastern:  Everyone has a Money story: How Well Do YOU Know Yours?   You can register here: https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/418746992

Wednesday’s blog will be on “YOUR $$ Money $$ Story”

I am excited to have the opportunity to provide specific materials and information to you because you are the future of my work and you each play such a critical role in the lives of your clients, regardless of how/whether you are explicitly practicing Financial Social Work.

photo credit: Easa Shamih (eEko) | P.h.o.t.o.g.r.a.p.h.y

You view your money through the lens of your financial experiences.  It’s a lens as personal as the color of your hair or the size of your shoes; one which can work for you, but too often works against you because you forget to change it.

Much as the tint of your sunglasses determines how the world looks to you when the sun shines the lens through which you view your money impacts your financial circumstances on a daily basis.  Your money lens colors your relationship with your money by presupposing that your current financial situation is permanent, rather than transitory which is never an accurate interpretation, since all financial circumstances require work, attention and nurturing; when these are consistent circumstances improve and when they are not financial circumstances decline.

Which lens best describes how you view your financial life:

Hopeless:  Overwhelmed by debt and/or lack of financial and emotional support or resources; feeling vulnerable and unable to change your lens or your financial situation due to the lack of financial knowledge and/or the absence of HOPE.

Pessimistic:   Feeling as if you have no reason to believe or to anticipate that given your current job/lack of job, the economy, your credit score, your credit card debt and/or lack of money management skills  that your financial circumstances are likely to improve.

Tolerable:  Getting by but just barely.  Paying current bills and making minimum debt/loan payments but having more month than money, no savings, no assets, no emergency fund, etc.  

Optimistic:  Current with bills, reducing debt/student loans, using a “Personal Spending and Savings Plan,” building an emergency fund and working to take control of your money.

Stable:  Reduced/eliminated debt (student loans), using a “Personal Spending and Savings Plan,” have an emergency fund, savings and building assets, improved/improving credit/FICO score(s), managing your money rather than allowing your money to manage you.

Why did you choose your particular lens?  Did it describe you accurately?  What additional factors could be added to that lens that would make it even more applicable?  Which lens would you like to transition to?

What are two things you need to do to make that move?   Don’t wait to get started!

• You respect?
• You understand?
• Whose life has meaning?
• Who is moving in the direction of a better future?

The person you see is the reflection of your personal expectations: filled and unfulfilled.  It isn’t the person you are, rather it is that person blurred by self doubts and your inner critic whose sole purpose is to prevent you from understanding your real worth, or acknowledging you achievements, abilities and life.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”  Anais Nin

Your reflection will remain out of focus until you are connected to your truest self and to what matters most to you.

In these difficult and challenging economic times, it may seem easier to sacrifice who and what you could be and have, in order to accommodate who and what you already have and are.  It can seem simpler to give in, give up and give way your hopes, dreams and wishes, but payment is in sense of self and self-esteem and never ever worth the cost.

When you:

• Avoid your own truths to accept the truths of others;
• Choose to stop trying to make a difference to accept indifference;
• Place your future at risk by sacrificing your present sense of purpose;
• Relinquish your own goals in order to help others to achieve theirs;

You inevitably fail yourself in order to satisfy others thus losing your ability to see yourself clearly.

If the image you see isn’t the image you want to see, your mirror doesn’t need cleaned or replaced.  What needs to happen is for you to identify your values and the principles by which you want to live.

These will connect you to your truest self and provide you with the ability to realign you mirror image!

• Make a clear and conscious choice to do so.  All change is grounded in individual, emotional and personal choice.  If you believe you have no choices in any situation in your life you are wrong because everyone has choices.  Most likely it is actually that the choices you have aren’t the choices you want; when that is the case it is critical to understand that by making better choices today you will create more and better choices tomorrow and on into the future.
• In twenty-five words or less explain the benefits of making this choice.  This can be in paragraph form or in list format.
• Identify three to five specific actions you can/will take to achieve the benefits you identified in step #2.