Finding My Balance

Let It Be.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Getting stuck in a bad mood isn't uncommon for me, especially these days when I'm waist-deep in my quarter-life crisis. Usually the cure for this is interaction with friends and/or my boyfriend, but for some reason, this time that wasn't working.

Sometimes it really is just a matter of settling into your feelings and letting time pass. I didn't do anything particular to cheer myself up. In fact, big things weren't cheering me up for the long term: an entire weekend with Erik didn't, Valentine's Day didn't, and even the shower didn't magically make my funk disappear.

All of a sudden, though, I got through Tuesday feeling better than usual and didn't find myself melting into a self-pitying puddle by the end of the night. I stopped being terse in my text conversations with Erik and started talking like I normally would. I didn't skip my nightly routine so that I could curl up in bed faster. I didn't cry myself to sleep. The same thing happened Wednesday and then again on Thursday.

It was refreshing, actually, to not have the responsibility of pushing myself through my sadness. Was it tiresome to deal with it so many days in a row? Absolutely, which is why I normally find ways to pull myself out of it. But it's helpful to realize that even if I simply go along with it, submitting to my need for solitude and a few nights of crying, I'll get through it anyway.

Wine and Love [Vol. 17].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

A little bit of drama related to the wedding. It's nothing earth-shattering and it's not my place to talk about it, but I was bummed to hear about it.
Being in a funk hasn't been fun. Luckily I'm feeling back to 'normal' as of Tuesday, but it was a real drag feeling down.
My dad wakes up between 4 and 5am to go to work in the morning and almost always wakes me up. He doesn't mean to, but it's frustrating because I haven't found a way around it yet (I've tried sleeping with my iPod playing, with my fan on for white noise, trying to go to bed earlier/later... I wake up every. single. time).
I gave up sugar for Lent and I already miss it.
I didn't have enough time with Erik this week when I really needed it. I can't complain because we did hang out Friday night and I slept over, but I left for the shower just as he was getting up on Saturday and by the time we all got home, he'd gone out with friends for the night.
Since I work as a contractor, when I filed my taxes, I owed around $200. No fun.

Filling my heart...

Hosting the shower is definitely at the top of my list. It was just so awesome! The party planner in me had a blast.
After a few weeks of not working many hours, my boss e-mailed me and said a bunch of work came in for me. I worked two days last week and will work three this week. Yay, money!
I decided to DIY my shoes for Natalie's wedding. I have unsuccessfully been looking for a pair of flat, dressy, silver sandals, though I bought this pair from Target as a back-up because they were cheap and they would work if I didn't find anything else. Yesterday I was looking at the box and realized I could add a brooch/hair clip or something else from the craft store to add the bling I'm looking for (I got the idea from these shoe clips at ban.do). I can't wait to start looking!
A fun-filled weekend ahead - time with Erik, dinner out for my mom's birthday, hanging out with Ashley (and hopefully Cortney!), and going to see Melissa and Katie on Sunday! Woo!

BFF Wedding #2: Bridal Shower.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

There's something that happened last Saturday that I've been dying to write about for weeks, but I couldn’t – Natalie’s surprise bridal shower! It was killing me because I wanted to post about details, drama, and the fact that I got to make adorable cake pops, but she reads this (so say hi to her!) and I wasn't about to spoil it.

We’d decided on a luncheon at the local firehouse. I drove up the night before so I could sleep over at Erik and Nat’s house and have a 5-minute drive in the morning instead of a 1.5-hour one. Since a few of us had set the room up and decorated on Friday night, we didn’t have to get there too early on Saturday. Still, I was up at 9am – before Erik for once! – so that I’d have time to wake up and get ready.

Of course, despite being up two hours ahead of time, I was still running late. When I finally got there, things were pretty calm – we put the food out, hung pictures, and organized the prizes for the games. Soon enough guests were arriving and we were buzzing with excitement.

The college crew! Me, Melissa, and Danielle.

Thanks to the amazing work of Natalie’s fiancé, the plan to get her there without suspicion worked perfectly. He even thought to distract her with his phone as they drove up so she wouldn’t see the crowded parking lot. She was absolutely shocked when she walked in.

Clockwise from top left: Nat's entrance; Nat with her mom and grandmother; Nat on her throne; the bridal party.

The shower went off without a hitch. We snapped a bunch of pictures, enjoyed a really yummy lunch, and did some major damage to the dessert table. I made cake pops, which were a hit, but the star of the show was the groom’s mother’s homemade layer cake. She’s such a great baker! ...but, since this is my blog, so I'm going to show off my purple-dipped cake pops and matching purple-sprinkled snickerdoodles.

There were lots of great gifts and, not to brag, but we were one super-organized bridal party when it came to helping Nat – we had one girl for every task, from opening the card to throwing out the trash. I had been unofficially assigned as photographer because Nat’s dad, who loves taking pictures, put me in charge of his camera for the day.

Seriously in love with these girls.

After that, we played a few games. There was the bubble gum game, where Nat had to answer questions that her fiancé answered the night before; for every wrong answer, she added a piece of gum to her mouth. (Thank goodness she only got four wrong.) Then we had the mothers and grandmothers of the bride and groom as the models for the toilet paper wedding dress game, which was hilarious. I helped Nat's mom make her dress… it ended up as kind of a disaster, so she called herself the Lady Gaga bride.

Overall, it was a fabulous day. Nat was surprised and enjoyed herself, which is all we could really ask for. I seriously can't believe that my love is getting married soon! I wonder if it's still okay to get butt pinches from a married woman...

Every Day I'm Tumblin'

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Folks, if you're not on tumblr, you're missing out. (And if you are, follow me!) I know some people don't "get" it; if you're one of those people, e-mail me and we'll have a chat.

It's great for finding some inspiring things and really expressing yourself. You "heart" what you like and reblog what you love, and the result is that your page becomes a visual description of your hobbies and personality (and maybe some obsessions, like when I reblog anything Harry Potter, Henrik Lundqvist, or Glee related).

Like I mentioned yesterday, I've been a little down-and-out, but scrolling down my tumblr dashboard always cheers me up, or at least allows for a place to vent. Here are some of my favorites from the past few days.

♥

Happy Friday!

In a funk.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

I’ve been in a funk lately.

There, I said it.

My variety of ‘funk’ is one that comes and goes. During the day, I go about my business and am legitimately okay; I’m not actively ignoring or repressing any bad feelings. Last weekend I had the best Valentine’s celebration. The weekend prior was Super Bowl Sunday and I spent the whole weekend with Erik. Yesterday I spent the day running errands and checking things off of my to-do list. I was in a pleasant mood.

For the past two weeks, however, as the clock reaches 9pm, 10pm, and later, it’s like my funk wakes up, stretching its arms and tapping me on the shoulder. Time to feel awful about yourself, it says.

Time to realize you’ve wasted nearly three years of your life. You graduated college in 2009 and have done nothing since. It doesn’t matter if you’ve slowly progressed since then – you still don’t have a job and your life is pointless. You’re an embarrassment to your family and your boyfriend; the only reason your friends still cheer you on is because they don’t have to deal with the consequences of your stagnant life. You can’t expect your relationship to continue sailing smoothly if you are an unproductive member of society.

And the worst part is that all of this is (mostly) true. I can fight back against the useless negativity – the self-criticism about my abilities and my past – but all of the above cannot be argued. I don’t have a job, I have wasted my life for three years, I am a burden on the people who care about me because, when I come up in conversation, they have to tip-toe around the fact that my life is a mess.

My friends are my saving grace. It’s like I said above – they can be more understanding because they have less of a stake in my success or failure. A few weeks ago, when I posted about finally applying for some jobs, you know what happened? A bunch of my friends – including some of you, actually – reached out to say how fantastic it was. How proud they were. One of my best friends texted me with such enthusiasm, you would’ve assumed I’d already been hired.

My parents, however, said nothing. Erik had no reaction. They’re just as aware of my struggles with this, yet I get no positive response. I’m not trying to call them out as bad people. I’m just saying that it hurts. I don’t expect them to baby me, nor do I necessarily seek their approval. But a little encouragement would go a long way. It would be nice to know that they’re proud of me, too.

That's the main cause of my funk. I know eventually I'll find a job, but right now I'm in the middle of searching and constantly reminding myself I'm not a failure, and it saps a lot of my energy. I'm just fortunate that I can still put a real, not-forced smile on my face for most of the day.

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 51].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

{♥}

1. How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?
I adore it, and that's coming from someone who was single for 21 years. There was never any bitterness - I made it about my friendships and a little about myself (meaning, I bought a box of chocolates for myself on occasion). I'll be honest though, it is a tiny bit better when you're celebrating a relationship instead.

2. Are you in love?
Absolutely. It's the first time I've been in super-ooey-gooey-mushy love; I try not to show it too much because I know it grosses some people out.

3. What is your favorite love song?
Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel, which is actually one of my favorite songs in general.

4. Did your parents do anything for you on Valentine’s Day when you were a child?
Yes! My brother and I each got a few different kinds of Valentine's candy every year. Actually, we got candy for most holidays... which is likely why I love it so much.

5. What is your love language? (Click here if you want to take the quiz.)
Surprisingly, physical touch was my primary love language. I expected receiving gifts, which was only one point behind the first one, or words of affirmation. Why? Because those are the two things I crave most out of my relationships. Not in a greedy way, of course. But I think because those are the ways I express love, those are the ways I want to receive love.

An interesting thing I noticed is that these are all the things I feel I lacked from my relationship with my parents. The one I scored lowest on, with one point - acts of service - is the one major thing I always got from my parents. They showed their love through making sacrifices for me; sadly, as evinced by the results, that really doesn't cut it for me, so I never appreciate it as much as I should.

6. How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Gifts? Dinner?
I talked about this yesterday, but my 'tradition' with Erik is to cook and eat dinner together. We also exchange gifts.

7. What is your favorite flower?
There isn't one in particular I love above all others. A few of my favorites are roses, lilies, tulips, and daisies.

8. What is your favorite love story? (Book and/or movie.)
Pride and Prejudice! And Forrest Gump.

9. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you? Or you have done for someone?
In junior year of college, a kid I knew from my accounting classes left a single rose anonymously for every girl in our townhouse complex. Apparently he did the same thing the prior year for all the girls in his dorm. It wasn't something done specifically just for me, but it was adorably sweet.

As for real romance, not a lot of things come to mind because I'm thinking of stereotypical romantic gestures - candlelit dinners, fancy restaurant dates, unexpected gifts, something handmade/written from the heart - and I haven't really experienced those things. Last year, for the first time, I had flowers delivered to my house from Erik, so that was pretty romantic.

10. How did you meet your spouse/significant other?
I met Erik years ago, back in the fall of 2007, and at that point he was still just Natalie's brother to me. He came to visit when Natalie, Danielle, Melissa and I lived in a townhouse together, and I was in the shower when he arrived. Since Nat's room was right next to the shower, we were introduced as I soon as I stepped out... wearing only my towel. He claims he doesn't remember it at all. The funny part is that, after the visit, he told Nat that she had hot roommates, referencing me in particular. Foreshadowinggg!

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Weekend.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

This weekend, on Saturday mostly, Erik and I celebrated an early Valentine’s Day. Since he’s interning full-time and taking a few night classes, we figured it’d be easier and more enjoyable to spend an entire Saturday together instead of a few hours on Tuesday night.

To start off the day, we exchanged gifts right away because we lack self-control. I had picked up a few extra things during Christmastime for him – a shirt from Hollister and a stuffed Angry Birds doll to hang from his car window – and made this incredibly cheesy project. (You don’t know just how hard it is to come up with 52 reasons you love a person, even if you love them a lot. Just saying.) And look what I got!

This is a great gift for two reasons: 1) now I can re-read them anytime I want, and 2) Erik dislikes reading and books in general, so for him to go into a bookstore and get this for me says a lot.

Our Valentine’s Day ‘tradition’ – which is just barely that, since it’s only been for this year and last – is to cook and eat a meal together. About a week ago, however, he offered to treat me to any movie I wanted to see in addition to our dinner. So, I chose The Vow.

Let me tell you right now, if you’re planning on seeing it, be prepared to cry. I went in knowing the general plot but had no idea how heartbreaking it was going to be. But overall, I loved it. I enjoyed crying like a baby because it felt real.

After the movie, we came back to my house and started prepping for dinner. Our menu was steak, these potatoes (that I found on Pinterest!) and salad. The potatoes didn’t work out as expected, so we wrapped them in the bacon instead. They still weren’t perfect and I got a little cranky about it, but Erik asked gently if I was really going to let a few botched potatoes ruin my night, and so I got over it.

Later, we had cheesecake for dessert that I made because it’s our favorite. Throughout the evening we went through two bottles of wine… which we purchased on two separate trips to the liquor store. See, Erik decided to tell me after we checked out the first time that he thought we should’ve gone with the bigger bottle. Which meant we went back out fifteen minutes before it closed to get another bottle. We had lots of conversations because wine makes both of us a little more chatty and emotionally open, so that was really nice.

It was a wonderful Faux Valentine’s Day. We don’t usually do anything romantic on a regular basis and it was awesome to have a whole day dedicated to focusing on our relationship. Everything only reinforced how much I love him.

Five Things.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Five Things is a new semi-regular series to recap five things that happened in my week.

Five things... I searched for on Google this week.

Hunger Games movie
wedding planning certification programs in NJ
decorated snickerdoodles
soup tureen
patching holes in the crotch of pants

Ah, Google. What would I do without you? Apparently, I'd still be curious about what a soup tureen is and I'd have gaping holes in the crotch of two pairs of my pajama pants.

Happy weekend!

Wine and Love [Vol. 16].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

Disorganization.
This is gonna sound gross, but I have this bad habit where I pick at my face (like at blackheads, not just randomly all over). I have a bunch of marks all over my chin that won't heal because I feel compelled to pick at them. Apparently this is where all the energy that I used to waste on biting my nails has gone.
Thanks to a letter from the DMV, I realized I need to renew my license soon. There's actually a nice-ish location near me that usually isn't swamped, but I hate tedious errands like this one.

Filling my heart...

Only three more major dental appointments left! I've already been in three times and decided to ask how many were left. Only one more for regular fillings and then two for crowns (and I guess two mini-appointments to get the actual crowns put on). I'm so excited to be done.
I applied for more jobs! Not amazing ones, but jobs nonetheless.
Successful shopping trips.
It's almost the weekend, which means celebrating Valentine's Day with Erik. I can't wait.
I made Erik the cheesiest gift for Valentine's Day. Every time I look at it I get really giddy. Thank goodness I'm past the phase in our relationship where I care whether or not he thinks it's lame.

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 50].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

1. How do you feel about Groundhog’s Day?
Indifferent.

2. What color are your fingernails right now? (Bonus points if you include a picture.)
SO glad you asked, because I just painted them while watching the Super Bowl. They're hot pink (more like Barbie pink) with pink-and-silver glitter. At first they were a bit much, but now that I'm used to them, I love it.

3. Do you like riddles?
Yup! Especially brain twister-type riddles, like the ones that really make you think.

4. When you were 10, how old did you think “old” was? At your current age, how old do you think “old” is?

I always remember listening to the news, hearing "an 18-year-old man" or "a 19-year-old woman" in reports and thinking how old it sounded. Now, I would say... 70 seems "old" to me.

5. Do you wish on stars?
No. I'm sure if I saw a shooting star I would, but I don't generally look out the window and wish on random stars.

6. Do you recycle?
I try to, especially at home. But I'm guilty of being lazier in public, especially if I can't locate a recycle bin.

7. On a scale from 1-10, how good of a cook are you?
Uh, 6? I don't cook that often, so I don't have a lot to base that on. Usually I'm just okay, other times I fail epically. I'm a much better baker.

8. Do you color your hair? Professionally or at home?
Nope. The only time I colored my hair is when I did at-home highlights in junior year of high school. It wasn't terrible, but I wouldn't do it again.

9. One a scale from 1-10, how do you rate your manners?
I'd give myself a 8. I don't think I'm perfect, but I'm pretty polite. My only downfall is that I'm not the greatest at conversation.

10. Who are the last 5 people you have texted?
Erik, Clancy, Natalie, Lyndsay and Tom. But that's because those are some of the only people I text, plus Ashley.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

January & February Goals.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

January was a combination of complete failure and great success. Thank goodness for the latter part of that sentence, because otherwise, I’d likely throw the towel in on setting goals for the year. (Okay, so maybe that’s a little dramatic. But only a little.)

12 Changes

Well, crafting once a week, my change for January, was a big flop. Not completely – I worked on two projects this month – but they were small and not what I had in mind for this goal. The problem was that I didn’t take time to look up new projects or set a time to get anything done; it was always something I’d do ‘tomorrow.’ When I go to work on this change again in the future, I’ll make it a daily task or set a specific day every week and dedicate time towards finding new projects and gathering supplies.

Thankfully, I had another goal to replace that one: taking vitamins and probiotics every day. This habit didn’t start up until the middle of the month, but I’ve kept with it ever since.

So what's in store for February? A change I've already started to put into motion: exercise at least three days a week. To make sure I don't fall into the same habit as last month, I'm making an effort to work out every day. The 'at least three days' is so that if I miss a day because I feel sick or don't have time, I won't beat myself up.

~~1. Take vitamins/probiotic daily~~

2. Exercise at least three days a week

3. Craft at least once a week

4. Journal daily

5. Read every day (from a book, not a blog/the internet)

6. Reduce sugar intake

7. Reduce processed food intake

8. Limit time spent online

9. Put at least $10 from every paycheck in savings

10. Drink more water

11. ???

12. ???

Digital Day Off

Since I’m doing the first Sunday of every month, I have yet to take my day off. I’m looking forward to keeping my computer shut and fully enjoying Super Bowl Sunday away from the internet. More on that next week!

A Goal A Month

Last month, I vowed to finally go to the dentist… and I did! After putting it off for three years and actively ignoring it all throughout last year, I was so glad I did it. For this month, my goal is to not spend any money on things I don’t need. There are a handful of things I need to spend money on, but I know what those obligations are and I’m not spending anything outside of that. This means no fast food, no Dunkin Donuts, and no spur-of-the-moment purchases at Target (even if it’s at the Dollar Spot). My bank accounts will thank me later, for sure.

What goals are you setting for February?

January's Moments.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Last year, I saw a cool monthly recap on Stephany's blog that noted one memorable experience from every single day. I loved it so much, but I'm a stickler for doing things all-or-nothing, which meant I had to wait until the new year to start. Here we go!

1 - Ringing in the New Year by watching old-school Nickelodeon shows with Erik.
2 - The Rangers win the Winter Classic! Yay!
3 - We found out my cousin, who has some learning issues and has been struggling to complete her associates degree, will finally graduate in May!
4 - Wine and Doritos with Lyndsay, because we're classy.
5 - Going to the Rangers game to celebrate mine and Erik's anniversary.

6 - Ice skating with our friends Bobby and Kim.
7 - My party! Drinking a whole bottle of wine, dancing to Shakira with Erik in Just Dance, seeing almost all of my friends, getting tons of great gifts.
8 - Erik getting me Dunkin Donuts for my birthday breakfast.
9 - Using my new nail buffer from Lyndsay. My nails were so pretty after.
10 - Rewarding myself for going to the dentist with my first Essie nail polish (Power Clutch).

11 - I had lunch with my grandparents and aunt, and they brought me cannoli cake. Yum.
12 - Hanging out with "the guys" (Erik and his friends).
13 - Date night with Kim to see Beauty & the Beast in 3D.
14 - Epic wine night with Lyndsay, which included lots of bonding.
15 - Giants win!
16 - Going out for fro yo and getting my go-to combo: vanilla with Oreo pieces.
17 - Video chatting with Erik.
18 - Finally applying to some jobs!
19 - Trying something new at half-off apps night at Applebees - I got the chicken wonton tacos and they were pretty good.
20 - Having the giggles with Erik (there may or may not have been alcohol involved).
21 - Hot chocolate with breakfast.
22 - GIANTS WIN AND ARE GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!

23 - Braving work even though I wasn't feeling well.
24 - Getting chores done.
25 - I took an epic nap after my failed dentist appointment.
26 - Finding a top at Target to complete an outfit I was thinking of.
27 - Chinese food dinner date with Erik.
28 - The NHL All-Star skills competition. It was hilarious, especially during the breakaway competition - they all did really fancy (or silly) shots. Loved it.

29 - January's #twookclub chat
30 - I'm watching HIMYM for the first time (from the start) and I finished Season 1.
31 - Michael Jackson Glee episode!

What were some memorable moments from your January?

Ten on Tuesday [Vol. 49].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

{♥}

1. What’s your variety of apple?
I'm allergic to apples. It's sad, I know. My allergy developed in my teens so I ate apples when I was young, but my mom only ever got us red delicious apples. They were pretty yummy.

2. Do you prefer Long-English or Field cucumbers?
I've never tried long-english cucumbers, I don't think. Field cucumbers all the way, and I think they're delish.

3. Tomatoes – Delicious or disgusting?
Delicious!

4. What’s one fruit or vegetable that you can’t stand and why is that?
Beets, yuck. I'm not a fan of their taste or consistency... no thanks.

5. What’s your favourite way to prepare veggies? (Grilled, boiled, roasted, sautéed, etc.)
We don't really cook fresh veggies. My mom either uses frozen or from a can, so we just heat them up in the microwave or on the stove.

6. Sweet potato pie: Love it or hate it?
I've never tried it, actually. Nobody in my family makes or buys it for holidays. Whenever I hear it mentioned I feel like I wouldn't like it, but who knows.

7. What’s your favourite “style” of French fry? Wedges, shoelace, curly, crinkle-cut or other?
Shoelace, for sure.

8. What’s your favourite fruit-pie filling?
Apple, mainly because it's all I've ever had. Our family isn't a pie kind of family, and when we do get one, it's not fruit except for apple. I really like blueberries so I feel like I'd probably be a fan of blueberry pie.

9. When you were a kid did your parents make you sit at the table until all your veggies were eaten off your plate?
We never had to eat them all, but I vaguely remember an "eat two more forkfuls of veggies and then you can be excused" method. I like that because there's no pressure to completely finish them; I'll probably use that with my kids.

10. Do you drink veggie & fruit juice blends (such as V8, etc.) or make them yourself?
For whatever reason, I'm not a fan of veggie and fruit juices. I think it's because I'm bad at drinking large quantities of liquid and juices are heavier than usual, so I'm full after a few sips.

These questions are a part of Ten on Tuesday which is run by the wonderful Chelsea of Roots and Rings.

My Sleep Habits.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 22:09:00 +0000

My sleeping habits are something I don’t discuss with most people. I used to, but then I got one too many judgmental reactions, so I stopped. It’s been on my mind a lot because I’m slipping back towards an abnormal schedule again, and I hate myself for it.

The summer between sophomore and junior year was when I developed the problem of staying up later and sleeping in later. I’d be going to bed at three or four in the morning and sleeping past noon. There were days where I could ‘fix’ my schedule by pulling an all-nighter and going to bed by 7pm. This would ensure 12+ hours of sleep, waking up at a decent hour, and feeling well-rested.

I continued that pattern until I graduated college – getting by during the semester because of obligations and surviving the summer with my all-nighter fixes. Once I graduated, everything got so much worse.

I had a lot on my shoulders. My health issues were new, my relationship was shaky, I hadn’t found a job, and now I was away from the comforts of college and seeing my friends all the time. It was a combination of anxiety and likely a small helping of depression that led to the complete destruction of my sleeping schedule.

There was a point in time where I was staying up until eight or nine in the morning, then sleeping all day long, until nine or even ten at night. There were nights I relied on my tried-and-true all-nighter fix, only to find myself sleeping for a ridiculous amount of time, usually into the following afternoon (meaning about 18 hours). It became a pattern because I wasn’t exactly happy to be waking up at 9pm; the disappointment and shame I felt only propelled the urge to sleep all day.

I’ve slowly been able to fix that problem; it hasn’t been that bad in a while. Still, I find myself staying up late and being unable to get out of bed in the morning. My body craves 12 hours of sleep. There’s no motivation to wake up at a decent hour because if I do, I have more hours in the day to realize how much of a failure I am. When I sleep in until 2pm, by the time I fully wake up and get ready for the day, it’s nearly dinnertime and there’s a lot less self-criticism at night.

But I can’t deny that I feel terrible. It helps me avoid the harsh reality that I’m failing at life by not having a job, but then I feel ashamed that I’m wasting my life away. I can’t win either way and it’s frustrating.

I’m keeping the comments closed on this one because I don’t want sympathy or words of advice. Everyone in my life already says “just get up early,” “set an alarm and force yourself to get up,” “make your job search your job.” None of these helps or motivates me; instead, I feel worse because those things don’t come easily to me. If you feel compelled to say something on this topic, feel free to e-mail me.

Five Things.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Five Things... I did this week that were out of my comfort zone:

Spoke up about my anxiety at the dentist so that they didn't keep me in the chair for more than an hour (even though I ended up having my appointment canceled due to a mix-up).
Bought something risque at Spencer's for Valentine's Day. Nothing too crazy, but enough to make me a teensy bit uncomfortable at the check-out counter.
Made a 30 Before 30 list and published it (which means now I actually have to stick to it).
Commented on this post by Nicole, which is a makeshift resource party. In the comments, everyone listed one or two big goals they had this year and anyone who could help responded.
Told Erik that we need to have a discussion about something that's been bugging me.

Five Things is a new semi-regular series to recap five things that happened in my week. I say semi-regular because these will only pop up when I can figure out five relatable things from any given week. (Also, spell-check is telling me relatable isn't a word. It's totes is, I Googled it.)

What have you done this week (or recently) that was out of your comfort zone?

Wine and Love [Vol. 15].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

Erik started his semester on Monday and it's proving to be just as challenging as he expected. He doesn't make it sound too bad, but I know it is and I can tell it's going to wear on him for the first few weeks. It bums me out even though I know he'll be fine once he gets used to it.
I went in for my dental appointment yesterday and it turns out they scheduled me for the wrong dentist. It didn't occur to me to just have the other dentist do my fillings until I left, but I figured I'm more comfortable with my dentist anyway. I'm rescheduled for tomorrow.
I keep trying to get to bed earlier, but it never happens. Then I'm always angry when I wake up super late the follow day. I really need to get my act together.

Filling my heart...

The very beginning stages of top secret plans for a certain bride-to-be (which I cannot discuss further, seeing as the aforementioned bride-to-be reads this blog!)
Making plans for Valentine's Day with Erik. We decided we should copy what we did last year - cook and eat dinner together - and make it a 'tradition,' at least until we have disposable income to go on fancier dates. Or, maybe we'll stick with it after that! Anyway, I'm figuring out the menu and a few little gifts, and it makes me really giddy.
It's that time again where being in a wedding gives me an excuse to buy new shoes! We're allowed to get whatever we want, and since I'm already taller than Erik than I'd like to be, flat sandals it is.
Since I want a blog redesign so badly but don't want to spend the money for it at this time, I started messing around with ideas I can do by myself. I can't wait to spruce up this place just a bit!

Blue Moon Cupcakes.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:46:00 +0000

Back in October, I had a party at my place to celebrate Erik’s birthday. Being the Martha Stewart wanna-be that I am, I wanted to bake something, but I wanted it to be cool. Erik and his friends didn’t want frilly color-coordinated cupcakes or any type of fancy dessert.

Thanks to the power of Pinterest and the internet in general, I found a few cupcake recipes that mimicked alcoholic beverages and knew that was what I was going to make. Finding the recipe for Blue Moon Cupcakes (link to the actual recipe here) was just pure luck, considering most people like Blue Moon and it’s one of Erik’s faves.

Today (yes, only three months late) I’ll be sharing my experience making these. Spoiler alert: they’re AMAZING.

You’ll need to grab the following ingredients: unsalted butter, sugar, flour, baking powder, salt, eggs, vanilla extract, red and yellow food coloring, orange zest, milk, and of course, a bottle of Blue Moon.

Perfect! Okay, the first step is to mix the dry ingredients in one bowl. That’ll be the flour, baking soda, and salt.

Next, I zested the orange, which proved to be a more difficult feat than expected. You’re looking for about a half a teaspoon; I don’t know if I managed to get that much, but I don’t think it really mattered.

After that are a series of steps I didn’t photograph. You beat the softened butter first, then add the sugar slowly, making sure it gets incorporated as you go along. Next, add the eggs one at a time – again, you’re making sure they fully mix in before adding the next one. Finally, add the food coloring, vanilla extract, and orange zest, and you’ll have the prettiest batter I ever did see:

Now it’s time to open that Blue Moon! Mix the beer and milk in a measuring cup. (Note: when I did this, the consistency was off-putting because I think the beer curdled the milk, or at least did something weird to it. However! Everything turned out fine in the end, so if this happens to you, don’t panic… like I may or may not have done.)

You’re going to alternate between adding the beer/milk mixture and the flour mixture. There’s no exact science here, but make sure the last thing you add is the remainder of the dry ingredients. Now the batter will look a little less orange, but still fun.

Scoop the batter into cups – about 2/3 of the way full – and bake. Let them cool completely, then decorate! The original recipe calls for homemade frosting, but I cheated and went with store-bought vanilla. You can garnish with little orange slices, but like I mentioned earlier, Erik and his friends likely wouldn’t, erm, appreciate my decorative skills; instead, I went with blue sugar.

These are so delicious and moist. The Blue Moon flavor is definitely there, but it’s not overwhelming. I couldn’t really say if non-beer drinkers would enjoy these – the Blue Moon/beer flavor may be subtle enough to not be too strange – so just be aware of that if you’re making these for a mixed crowd.

~*~*~*~

Blue Moon Cupcakes

Ingredients

3/4 c unsalted butter, softened

1 3/4 c sugar

2 1/2 c flour

2 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3 eggs, room temperature

1 tsp vanilla

2 drops red food coloring

10 drops yellow food coloring

1/2 tsp orange zest

1 c Blue Moon beer

1/4 c milk

Frothy White Frosting [recipe here], or any homemade/store-bought vanilla frosting

small orange slices, for garnish

Directions
1. Line 24 cupcake trays with liners. [Use white liners if you can, they become translucent during baking and really sell the mini Blue Moon image]. In a medium bowl, mix together flour, baking power and salt.
2. In a large bowl beat butter on medium speed for 30 seconds. Add sugar a little bit at a time, beating well. Once it's all added beat for 2 more minutes.
3. Add eggs, beating after each.
4. Add vanilla, food coloring and orange zest and beat.
5. Mix beer and milk in a measuring cup. Alternatively add beer / milk mixture and flour mixture to butter mixture in the large bowl, beating after each. End on the flour mixture.
6. Fill cupcake liners 2/3 full. Bake for 18 minutes at 375 degrees F until cupcakes are golden and a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
7. Once cool, frost each cupcake with a generous amount of frosting. Just before serving, garnish each with a small orange slice.

30 Before 30.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

For the longest time, I avoided the idea of Life Lists (and all similar lists) because I don't really live an adventurous life. I know that the point of such lists is to gently push yourself out of your comfort zone, but I always assumed I would never muster up enough courage or effort to get through the list.

In the past year or so, however, I toyed with the idea of making a 30 Before 30 list. To me, 30 tasks in five years is doable. Once I let go of the idea that I had to make a list containing outrageous tasks - like traveling overseas or skydiving - I felt like it was a much better idea.

So without further ado, here is my 30 Before 30 list:

Go to dinner by myself
Go to a movie by myself
Travel by plane
Take a weekend getaway with Erik
Learn to knit
Buy a sewing machine
Go to a(nother) major sporting event (this was on the list in my head before I went to see the New York Rangers, so it's on my list to go to something else)
Learn to make 10 meals well enough that I don't need the recipe
Open at Etsy shop (or sell crafty goods in some fashion)
Move out
Watch 20 "classic" movies
Go to disney
Get a job
Work in the event/wedding planning industry
Take a yoga class
Go to a dance convention/master class
Go to the tree lighting/Thanksgiving Day parade/4th of July fireworks/NYE in NYC (because I couldn't pick and I'm setting the bar low to go to at least one of these)
Go see the Radio City Christmas show
Go see a show on broadway
(Re-)Learn spanish
Host a dinner party
Attend BiSC at least once!
Start a Roth IRA
Save $10,000 for a down payment on a house
Get a tattoo
Watch Friends & Sex and the City from start to finish (I've never seen either all the way through!)
Go on six "real" dates with Erik a year (our "date" nights are usually staying in, or going out with a group of friends; by "real" dates I mean dinner/movie/activity together, just the two of us)
Take a pole dancing class
Buy a smartphone
Save $5,000 for a wedding

There you have it! I want to give a quick thanks to Allison for answering my tweet for some list inspiration - the last seven or eight were inspired by her list, which you can check out here.

I hope to blog about things as I complete them. I mean, some of them will be a given, considering I wouldn't miss out on blogging about going to Disney, my first plane ride, or going to BiSC. Of course, let's also see if I'm still blogging in five years! I hope to be, but you never know.

Eleven Meme.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

Memes are my favorite. I was that girl who posted bulletin after bulletin on Myspace, filling out questionnaires whenever they popped up. So here we go!

Here's the rules.

You must post these rules.
Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog.
Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post. Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her.
No tag backs and you legitimately have to tag 11 people.

11 Facts

I went to an all-girl high school and, despite the fact that I felt too sheltered, I absolutely loved it.
I took dance classes for fifteen years and my favorite style is hip hop (and I'm actually good at it, if I can toot my own horn for a second).
My only sibling is my brother, who's two years younger than I am.
My first kiss happened when I was 21.
I have a bad habit of chewing on my lips and the insides of my cheeks.
When I got my ears pierced, it was because my crush in third grade was getting one of his pierced. Except, when we came to school on Monday, he'd chickened out. I hadn't.
I have always lived in New Jersey and probably always will (maybe not when I'm retired, but I can't think that far in advance). I love it here.
I'm allergic to penicillin.
I am absolutely terrible at taking shots.
I don't have a smart phone.
When I was young, I used to hate the color pink.

11 Questions for Me
I definitely copied Stephany here and did a mix of questions from her and Erin, since I was tagged twice.

1. When was the last time you felt proud of yourself?
When I finally applied to some jobs on Wednesday. I've been dealing with a lot of emotional crap that's been holding me back and it was great to finally get over that hurdle.

2. What is your favorite day of the year?
My birthday. All year long I spend my time focusing on other people, so when my birthday comes around, I take advantage of the opportunity to make it all about me.

3. When you go to the mall, do you go with a specific purchase in mind, or just go to browse?
I would never go specifically just to browse. Either I need something and I go in-and-out just for that, or I buy what I need and browse afterwards.

4. Do you use a planner? Paper or electronic?
Yes! I have an Erin Condren Life Planner and I love it. I’ve tried scheduling my life on an online planner, but I end up ignoring it. Having my EC planner laid out on my dresser means I’m always updating it.

5. What is your must-have beauty product?
Mineral powder foundation. It’s so light and fresh and easy to apply.

6. Where is one place (city, state, or country) that you are dying to visit?
Ireland. I have this strong connection to my Irish heritage, so I’d love to visit. However, my fear of flying and being away from home for too long might prevent this from ever happening.

7. What is one resolution or goal you have for 2012?
Finding a job! My word for the year is healing and I’m definitely focusing a lot of my energy there, but it’s an absolute necessity at this point for me to find a job.

8. What would be your last supper?
Caesar salad with shrimp, a plate of penne vodka and a foot-long Italian sub, with lots of meat on it. For dessert? Vanilla bean cheesecake.

9. If you could eat a meal with one person, dead or alive, who would it be and why?
Either my nana or pop-pop. If I could cheat, it’d be with both. They both passed away when I was young and I miss them a lot. Now that I’m older, I’m so much more curious about who they were.

10. What is your dream job?
I would love to be a wedding planner. Sometimes I go back and forth about it, but honestly, everything about it appeals to me. I would even grit my teeth and learn to be pushy with clients and vendors.

11. When you need a snack, do you reach for sweet or salty? (Bonus points if you list your favorite snack.)
Both. And here’s why – I have this awful habit of eating something sweet, then craving something salty, then craving something sweet again. It goes on and on. My favorite sweet treats are Kit Kat bars and any type of cookie. My favorite salty treat is pizza-flavored Goldfish.

11 Questions for You

What do you wash first when you're in the shower?
Favorite birthday celebration?
What's your favorite movie? (Or top 3, because I know I couldn't pick a favorite.)
Who changed your life the most?
What's your shoe size?
If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you'd buy?
What trait/skill do you have that you're most proud of?
Do you have a favorite scent of lotion/perfume/cologne/body wash? If so, what is it?
Which celebrity would you love to meet?
When was the last time you cried? What was it about (if you're comfortable sharing)?
What position do you normally sleep in? (On your stomach, on your back, etc.)

Wine and Love [Vol. 14].

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

hosted by Nora!

Filling my wine glass...

My boss's schedule didn't jive with mine this week, so I ended up not working at all. This isn't good because I could really use the money!
Everyone is buzzing about Bloggers in Sin City and I'm totes jealous. A perfect storm of not having enough money, still struggling with health issues, and my fear of flying is keeping me away this year. Maybe next year?
I finally went to the dentist last week only to find out I have about a billion cavities. No, seriously. They counted off more than ten. Luckily I only need two crowns and no root canals; the rest are just fillings.

Filling my heart...

Last week I spent three days at Erik's house, totally unplanned. We had joked about me driving up to see him after work on Wednesday, but thought it probably wouldn't work out. Once I was at work, though, I really wanted to go... so I did! I planned to spend one night and leave Thursday evening, but then his friends came over and I ended up hanging out with them and staying again. The greatest part? All I had was my small-ish satchel purse. Usually I bring a whole bag of stuff, but I "survived" without any of it.
I finally found my job-applying mojo last night and applied to three jobs! They're all on college campuses, because I feel most comfortable starting there, but I have a few more regular office jobs to apply to next.
By a stroke of luck, I was texting with Lyndsay on Saturday night and we decided to hang out on a whim. It was great - we really reconnected and shared some deep, dark secrets - and the timing was perfect since she went back to school on Sunday.
Erik moves back into school today! He's going to be super busy this semester, but having him twenty minutes away always makes me feel a lot better.

Birthday/Anniversary Weekend.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

You know what happens when your anniversary falls three days before you birthday? You have a weekend jam-packed with amazingness, that’s what.

Festivities started on Thursday with a trip to NYC to go see the New York Rangers play. Had you told me a year ago that I’d be excited for a hockey game, I would’ve laughed in your face. Yet I was so thrilled, actually, that I kept forgetting the reason we were going to the game: to celebrate mine and Erik’s first anniversary, which was also on Thursday.

At least I got to see Lundqvist during warm-ups.

The game was so much fun. My favorite player – goalie Henrik Lundqvist – came out for warm-ups but then we realized he wouldn’t be playing because he’d be playing in a game the following night. I was thoroughly bummed out. But the evening was still exciting; the game went into overtime and the Rangers won it about three minutes in.

So excited!

Friday was mostly a low-key day. We slept in and ran errands for my party (ordering sandwiches and picking up beer and wine). Then, at my request, we decided to go ice skating with our friends at a local outdoor rink. Despite getting tired and dehydrated after an hour, it was still fantastic. I love ice skating because I find it so relaxing, and being on an outdoor rink made it that much better.

After spending a little too long lazily laying in bed Saturday morning, we finally got up and prepped for my party. People started arriving around 5pm and it was an absolute blast. It was so great because almost everyone I’d invited was able to make it; catching up with everyone and playing Wii games with them is always the best.

College girls, minus Danielle who was busy interviewing for residencies!

The boys, with whom I always neglect to take pictures. That's Kyle (Nat's fiance) and Matt (Melissa's fiance) in case the faces don't look familiar. They're both wonderful guys.

Being the birthday girl meant that everyone kept “pressuring” me to drink (it's in quotes because I gladly obliged). Every time my wine glass was low, my friends offered to fill it up – sometimes to the actual brim of the glass. With the exception of three glasses had by Melissa and Natalie, I drank the whole (large) bottle of wine myself. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel that drunk, just really sleepy by the time everyone headed out.

So classy. But really, I drank from a glass for most of the night - this was just for dramatic effect.

I can't say that Sunday morning was particularly fun, but it wasn't too bad. Meaning, there was minimal nausea/stomach upset; instead, I was exhausted and had a headache. The majority of my day was spent laying in bed with Erik, watching TV and just hanging out. He was kind enough to go get Dunkin Donuts for me at my request. We had Chili’s To-Go for dinner with my family (because I was not up for a dinner out, which was the original plan) and cupcakes to celebrate my actual birthday.

This weekend was a perfect kick-off to my year. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday or anniversary celebration; I'm so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.

How was your weekend?

One Year.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 10:00:00 +0000

{March 2011; at Cortney's birthday party}

One year ago today, I took a huge leap and jumped when I didn’t see any safety net beneath me.

Erik and I had only been on four ‘dates,’ one of which included a very memorable New Year’s Eve. Up until that point, I hadn’t fully figured out how I felt. I was letting myself go with the flow, not really concerned with having all the pieces put together. In the back of my mind, though, I was aware that things were moving super fast.

So when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was surprised. But it took only a moment before I said ‘yes.’ It truly was the boldest – and by far the best – decision I made in 2011. And while I worry that sometimes I exaggerate, I feel that my life would be starkly different without him in it. I’ve become a better version of myself, some of which would’ve happened anyway, but having him by my side has only fueled my momentum.

I’ll share something I haven’t shared with too many people: this is my first time being really-and-truly in love. Looking back, I didn’t feel this way in my last relationship; I couldn’t tell you what I felt then, but I know it wasn’t this. This is love. This is the thing you can’t describe, the feeling you stop questioning because you just know. It makes me so blissfully happy at times that I hope it never stops.

So here’s to another wonderful year with my best friend, the person who makes me smile even when I don't want to, always makes me laugh (even when he's not funny), and treats me like a princess.

Love you always, babe.

{October 2011; Erik's birthday party}

Birthday Confessions.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:35:00 +0000

My birthday is still four days away, but as you'll find out in my confessions, today is the middle of my birthday week! In the spirit of that, I decided to share some birthday confessions.

I treat the whole week as my "birthday week." As soon as the excitement of New Year's dies down - usually on January 2nd - I launch into birthday mode. It's not really something I advertise; mostly, it's me celebrating myself. Sometimes it means dressing up for work (I never do and I like dressing up), stopping at Starbucks for a latte, or taking myself shopping for something small. Or sometimes it's just as simple as wearing my pink 'birthday princess' tiara around the house all week.
I love getting gifts! Christmas, for me, is honestly more about the excitement of giving gifts. Yes, I enjoy receiving my Christmas gifts, but I'm usually focusing on the reaction of other people opening my gifts. For my birthday, it's all about me, and I can't lie when I say I really revel in it.
Checking the mail becomes my hobby for the week. Our mail comes between 1 and 3pm, so during those hours, I keep peeking out the window to see if I can spot the mailman.
For the third year in a row, I'm throwing myself a birthday party. It's always really great because all of my friends come over and it's like a big catch-up session between everyone. Plus, I love having everyone who's important to me in the same room. I look forward to it all year.
This year I wanted to do something special for my 25th birthday, but I dropped the ball. My friend Ashley went to Disney World for hers, and while I wouldn't do something that big, I wanted to maybe go to the Poconos, Medieval Times, or even just the local club-like bar to go dancing. I ended up getting busy and the logistics were too much to work out, so it's back to my basic birthday party.
Facebook birthday greetings make me so happy. I know some people think they're impersonal because random people you don't talk to comment on your page and most people wouldn't remember if not for Facebook, but I can't help smiling at all the notifications popping up all day long.

2012 Resolutions.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:52:00 +0000

{♥}

Happy 2012, friends!

Did you have a wonderful New Year's Eve? I did, though it was a bit too low-key for me. I spent the evening having dinner with Erik's family and hanging out with his friend who came over to play video games. The last half hour was spent just with Erik, watching TV and flipping to one of the NYE specials three minutes before the new year. It was nice, but a bit anticlimactic - it felt like any other day.

Now that the new year is here, it's time for goal-setting!

12 Changes

For 2012, I'm doing my resolutions a bit differently -- I'll be participating in 12 Changes in 12 Months, the brain child of Katherine and Stephany. A huge group of us (50+, I believe!) is setting monthly goals so that we can keep our focus on each one. Instead of a big list of goals to tackle all at once - which, for me, usually means a few get ignored - I'm setting up a list of habits I want to develop to make my life better.

So far, I only have a list of nine things. But that's the added benefit of this method of goal-setting: I don't have to figure those last three out right away because they can be accomplished later this year!

1. Take vitamins/probiotic daily
2. Exercise at least three days a week
3. Craft at least once a week
4. Journal daily
5. Read every day (from a book, not a blog/the internet)
6. Reduce sugar intake
7. Reduce processed food intake
8. Limit time spent online
9. Put at least $10 from every paycheck in savings

10. ???

11. ???

12. ???

For the month of January, I'm focusing on crafting at least once a week. I already did a lot of craft projects in December to prepare for the holidays, so it should be simple to keep up the habit.

Digital Day Off

In addition to my 12 Changes, I was inspired by Amy to take part in a "digital day off" every month. She's choosing to take a complete break from technology on the first of every month; I'll be doing the same, except on the first Sunday of every month. Which means that yes, I've already done this for January!

It was pretty simple this month, because I was still at Erik's for most of the day. I will admit that I 'cheated' a bit and checked my e-mail in the morning and at night, but I'm planning for all future digital days off to be completely internet-free for twenty-four hours.

A Goal a Month

And finally, for each month I'll be setting one specific, to-do-list type goal. These specific goals probably won't be set far in advance, but instead at the beginning of each month. For January, it's going to the dentist. Despite setting this as a goal every month last year, I still never made my way there. It's finally time because I have a cavity that's freaking me out and because I need to put on my big girl pants and be responsible for my health.

What goals are you setting this year? Are you doing things differently in hopes it'll work better than past years?

Farewell, December.

noreply@blogger.com (Cait) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:00:00 +0000

December was the typical hustle-and-bustle of the holiday season. There were Christmas songs playing from my laptop daily while I worked on craft projects for my friends' gifts and baked boxes of yummy treats. In between, I sipped hot chocolate, watched all of my favorite Christmas movies, and wrote some love letters for the 12 Days of Love Letter Writing.

It all culminated in the best holiday weekend I have in memory. I excitedly swapped gifts with my boyfriend, caught up on the lives of family members, and enjoyed every moment of it with barely a moment of anxiety. I sat around the tree with Erik's family and felt so comfortable and not a single bit out of place; it was a wonderful feeling and I'm grateful to be so welcomed by them.

I won't be addressing my goals because barely kept them in mind this month. However, I will say that I remained pretty stress-free, took care of myself, and tried my hardest to soak in every single joyful experience this season. It was a great month; a great close to the end of what has been a most wonderful year.

Instead of a recap of my year, I'm posting the links to my monthly recaps. Feel free to read through to see all of the things that made this year special for me.