This past Saturday I had the pleasure of seeing Flawless + the Machine live, and I think I can say that it was the best concert I’ve ever been to. I mean, I’ve only really been to five or so concerts, BUT it is still the best and will probably continue being one of the best. And that is in spite of the fact that the venue and crowd were so-so (more on that in a bit).

First, a little background is necessary. One day I was on Facebook, just Facebooking it up, when I noticed an update by the Florence page about new U.S. tour dates. NEW U.S. TOUR DATES? After frantically clicking links and trying to give away all my money I realized that the tickets weren’t on sale yet. They would go on sale in a couple days, at noon. Okay cool I can do this.

I keep reminding myself that tickets are going on sale and I need to be at a computer before noon. Finally the day comes, and I almost forget about the tickets. Almost. Luckily, I remembered before noon and was ready and waiting for the tickets to go on sale. Cue refreshing. The clock struck twelve and I immediately tried to purchase two tickets, but, as expected, the website was taking forever to load because of the massive amounts of people trying to buy my Florence + the Machine tickets (yes, mine). I became a little panicked at the idea that I wouldn’t get tickets, but I kept my wits about me and opened multiple tabs, hoping one of them would load and let me reserve tickets.

As Chrome’s little spinning loady thingy (excuse my technical jargon) kept spinning in all the tabs, I became a little more panicked, until finally one of the pages loaded, then another and another. I proceeded with one of them, ordered the tickets and, tada, I officially had tickets to see Florence + the Machine!

I’m not going to lie, I built this concert up so much in my head. I was ridiculously excited for it. I was late to the Florence party, not because of any reservations, but because it usually takes me a while to check out artists. When I did start listening to her, though, I was blown away. As any fellow Florence fan knows, she’s incredibly talented and really, just great. So, of course, I was expecting this concert to be amazing. And honestly, it didn’t disappoint.

As I briefly mentioned, the venue and the crowd weren’t ideal. The stage was about four feet tall, which is not nearly tall enough for a standing room crowd, in case you’re wondering. If you weren’t right at the stage or taller than six feet, you were craning your head, trying to get a better view of the stage. My friend and I managed to find an okay spot in the crowd, though, and had a pretty good view for the majority of the show. And then there was the crowd. Okay, maybe this is just me (it’s actually not just me), but when you’re at a concert, in a crowd, you shouldn’t really be concerned about personal space and you can’t really save spots. Evidently there were a lot of people who did not get this memo, because I had three people tell me they were saving a spot for their friend (hint: I don’t care, because this is a concert and it is ALREADY STARTING), and several people around me thought that they should have some elbow room. In a packed crowd. At a concert. Ummmmmm, how about no?

However, I wasn’t about to let people’s lack of familiarity with concert rules and misplaced entitlements bring me down. No way. Especially not when I was less than a hundred feet from the stage, less than a hundred feet from Florence fucking Welch.

Personally, I don’t take many pictures at concerts, because I prefer to really get into the show and give it my full attention. I snapped a few pictures for the sake of having pictures, but that’s it. Interestingly, despite giving my full attention to the show, I never really remember shows in great detail. Things tend to blur together a bit and the chronology isn’t always clear, but everything is amazing. It’s kind of like trying to remember a really (really) great dream.

Although I can’t remember all the details, I can say with certainty that her entire set was absolutely beautiful. They opened with Only If For A Night and closed with No Light, No Light. In between, in some sort of order that I can’t recall, were Between Two Lungs, Lover to Lover, Leave My Body, Cosmic Love, Dog Days Are Over, Rabbit Heart, Shake It Out, Never Let Me Go, What the Water Gave Me, Heartlines, and Spectrum.

Over half the set list is my favorite and I have a handful of favorite moments, so I’m going to try to list all of this briefly.

Cosmic Love and No Light, No Light were absolutely amazing. I really love those songs, and they’re really intense and powerful, so seeing them live was breathtaking, as expected. And despite being overplayed, I still love Dog Days Are Over, especially when it’s live. It’s such a high energy song, and there was a solid two minutes of her addressing the crowd and dramatic waiting before the song burst back into life and everyone went wild.

Rabbit Heart was also great, but what I really loved was what she said before the song. She said that for the next song, she was going to need some “sacrifices.” She went on, giggling a bit, to tell the crowd that if you were with someone you loved, raise them up on your shoulders. It was all just very whimsical and Florence, and I loved it.

Shake It Out is normally an uplifting song, but when experience live and prefaced by some uplifting words from Florence, it is inspiring.

There was this constant, light fog during the show for dramatic effect. When they played Spectrum, the lights were shining on Florence in a way that illuminated the fog and created little rainbows in the air around Florence. It is literally one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen.

Finally, there is Never Let Me Go. I fell in love with this song when I first listened to it, and it remains one of my favourites. It’s a song that inspires a strong emotional reaction in me, and that’s just when I’m listening to the regular track by myself. Hearing and seeing it live was so perfect. In particular, I love the final part of the song, when Florence sings over a chorus of “never let me go.” Being able to be part of that chorus, singing “never let me go” over and over again while swaying back and forth with arms outstretched, was nothing short of amazing. It was quite possibly my favourite part of the entire concert.

Like I said before, I had really high expectations for this concert. Normally things don’t live up to expectations, especially when you’re really anticipating them. Florence + the Machine did not disappoint, though. The entire show was, as I’ve said a million times already, beautiful, both visually and musically. Florence was lovely as usual and sang brilliantly, and the Machine performed just as brilliantly. I cannot wait to see them again. Now here’s a couple pix:

Florence being stunning, nbd

A wider shot. Actual distance from stage.

So of course I decided to buy a Kindle last week as an early birthday present to myself (“Mom I’m buying a Kindle, can I be reimbursed and it’ll be a birthday present?”). For whatever reason, I rethought my stance on e-readers over the past few weeks as I stared longingly at the Kindles, Kobos, and Nooks on display at work. I knew I didn’t want a tablet; I just wanted something with which I could read books. With prices on e-readers being so low, I found it hard to convince myself that it wouldn’t be worth it.

Another big selling point was the convenience. I like to read, but I often want to read something particular or something different from what I have. This normally involves going to a book store, going to the library, or ordering the book online. I could just buy new books, but they’re kind of expensive, and I’m kind of cheap. There’s the library, which is nice, but I’m also kind of lazy.

Enter my new Kindle Touch. This pretty much solves all of my reading dilemmas, AND I can still borrow from the library with it. Everyone wins! Except the bookstore, I guess.

Thus far I’ve only bought one book—Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close—but I want to have LOTS of books to read. Reading more is something I always want to do, but usually don’t because of inconvenience (see paragraph three). I’m hoping that the awesome convenience of having an e-reader will help me read more.

However, the amount of books out there is kind of overwhelming, so, although I’m going to read all the books, I was wondering which books I should read first. That’s where you all come in. What are some books you consider must reads and would recommend I add to my immediate reading queue?

Things like this get brushed off in regular conversation, with people always claiming that they’re joking, they’re not trying to be offensive, or, most likely, it doesn’t get addressed at all. Now, I’m not going to sit here and write a persuasive essay on why it’s wrong to use marginalizing language and why words do have meaning, as much as Tyler the Creator would have you believe otherwise. That’s not what this blog entry is about.

What it is about is my dilemma when it comes to addressing situations like this. I’ve gotten my friends to almost entirely stop saying things are gay and calling people fags (I think. I don’t hear them much anymore.). And I’ve started trying to stop other offensive language; mostly casual use of the word “rape,” which comes up the most. My friends aren’t the problem, really, though. I usually feel comfortable saying something to them and they’re usually pretty receptive.

My issue is with everyone else—classmates, acquaintances, strangers. I basically never say anything if anyone I don’t know too well uses this kind of language. And this has become particularly problematic since my one English classmate likes to call anything and everything gay. I want to say something, because it’s offensive, but offline I’m generally very much a quiet person. I’m not usually one to speak up about anything.

I don’t want to be quiet, though. I mean, sure, I’ll get by just fine if some guy says Channing Tatum is gay and his movies are gay and Tim Tebow is gay. Whatever, it just makes me think he’s an idiot. However, standing by and doing nothing is not a good habit to have. I want to say something, whenever someone says anything that disenfranchises a group of people. I want to, not just for my conscience, because I know it’s the right thing, but also because I don’t know who else might be listening. I don’t want someone who’s part of a marginalized group to think this language is correct just because no one contests it. And often, no one does. To quote Elie Wiesel: “Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”

My problem, besides being generally shy, is that I never know how to approach these situations. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. I don’t want to freak out and make a huge deal out of it (unless someone says something that’s just blatantly, horribly, intentionally offensive). But I also want to get my point across that no, that’s not okay, and that’s not what you meant to say. Maybe I’m being too considerate, but I want to approach it in a way that educates people, not a way that guilt trips them or attacks them.

Most people say things like this because they’re privileged, and they’re ignorant to their privilege or they choose not to acknowledge it. Yes, being privileged can be kind of sucky in the sense that your (and my) privileged existence is responsible, in part, for the marginalization of minorities. In short, you (and I) benefit from others’ oppression. It can be tough admitting privilege. This isn’t an excuse, though. But like I said, I want to educate, not attack. I want people to acknowledge that they are privileged, and I want them to make an effort to be more conscious of this fact and use their words more responsibly. Most people don’t mean to be offensive assholes, they just don’t know.

Like I said, though, I’m not sure what to say to these things. And it’s also hard to actually say something—being a bystander is far easier. I don’t want to be a bystander, though. So I’m going to start making an effort to say something in these situations and hopefully decrease world suck, one conversation at a time. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Yeah, those were good times! They seem so far away, but in reality it was only two weeks ago when I was going out of my mind with free time. Now I have no need to worry about free time! It’s once again a thing of the past.

School started last Tuesday and today I’ve officially completed two weeks of my second semester at college. It honestly doesn’t even feel like it’s been two weeks and…what? It’s almost February? Are you serious? That old saying about time and air travel really is accurate. How did it go? Time sure flies when you’re too busy to keep track of time and you’re kind of in this haze in which time is not a thing? I don’t know, something like that.

Classes are going well so far, and I think it’s going to be a good semester. I particularly like my English professor, who more or less introduced herself by telling us the story of how she thought she was having a heart attack. She called her husband, who told her that he was at work. So, alone at home with her kids, she did what anyone would do when faced with the possibility of death—she covered herself with a blanket so that her cat wouldn’t eat her eyes after she had died. I mean, the kids were already asleep, if she called an ambulance it would have been a big ruckus. And it’s not the cat’s fault that cats like to eat salty things, such as eyes! Eventually she reconsidered, though, and called for an ambulance and everything was fine. It wasn’t actually a heart attack, she just had no cholesterol at all. No bad or good cholesterol.

I also really enjoy my art class, fundamental drawing. Traditional art has always intimidated me, but I’m forcing myself to deal with my fears and get out of my comfort zone in college. I’m not a prodigy or anything, but I think I’m definitely learning a lot and really developing my skills as a creative-type person! Plus I don’t really have a choice about taking art classes if I plan on getting an art degree, so.

Also I traded calculus for French. I think this was a good trade, because of the following reasons:

1. I will never ever use calculus
2. Turns out calculus is really hard, who knew!
3. French is cool
4. I have been telling Clem that I’ll learn French for at least two years now
5. French will help me pick up every hot person.

Picking up hot people is a very important skill in life, you know.

Now that I’m in college, though, my feelings toward winter break have changed. Basically it’s still fun for the first couple weeks (about as long as high school break lasts), but it gets old. Really old. Really quickly.

I have one week left until classes start again and I’m basically going crazy with how much free time I have. This probably says something about my personal life and how I need to get more hobbies/be more productive. But this clashes with the fact that during the winter all I want to do is sleep, lay in bed, sleep some more, contemplate life, and generally just do nothing. And I have the knowledge that the break is only a month long, meaning I can’t really start any big projects, because school is actually right around the corner.

So I’m stuck with this weird mix of WOW I’M SO BORED I MIGHT JUST SLEEP FOR A WEEK and WOW I REALLY DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I’LL BE SUPER BUSY IN TWO WEEKS. ‘Cause you know once classes start again you’ll have no real free time, so you want to cherish the free time you have. But then you have too much free time. Free time coming out the wazoo, if you will. And I don’t know if this happens to everyone else, but for me I just kind of look at the looming busy school schedule, look at all this free time I have, and then shrug my shoulders and go on Tumblr for about 17 hours.

I’m sure, though, once the semester starts, I’ll be thinking, Boy I can’t wait until summer gets here. But I won’t plan anything for summer, and the madness will ensue again. But for right now, I really want school to start so I have something to fill all this empty time.

While I would have definitely empathized with those sentiments in 2010 and 2009, this year I’m actually happy with how things went.

In 2011 I made one year at my current job, I became closer with some good friends both online and offline, played in a band for a year, finished a semester at community college, and in general I think I’ve learned more about myself and who I am. I think I’ve matured (or at least I hope I have) and through becoming more familiar with myself, I think I’ve become more comfortable with who I am. I’ve always been awkward, but I’ve often tried being someone I’m not. I’ve always wanted to be “cool,” whatever that means, so I’ve been through various phases blah blah blah typical teenage things. But now I think I’m pretty much doing what comes naturally to me. Which is usually being awkward. But I rock it.

Also really important to me is that I finished a semester of school. Some of you may know that I’ve attended and dropped out of college twice, never completing a semester. This is the first time I’ve actually made it through an entire semester, even if it is community college. So I’m proud of that. And I’m looking forward to next semester, and eventually getting my degree. I’m looking forward to the future.

To everyone who felt that 2011 sucked, I hope 2012 treats you better. And to everyone who’s happy with the past year, I wish you more of the same. This past year has been good to me and I hope 2012 has more good things in store. Or the apocalypse. Either one.

Happy New Year everyone. <3

Recently, whenever I listen to music in the car, I wonder how other people listen to music. What I mean is, what do people think when they’re listening to music. And I don’t mean that in a scientific way, really, but just a curious, “Hey, what do you think about when listening to some phat beats?”

See, I’m a musician. I’m not particularly great or whatever, but I know how to play some music and I know basic music theory. So when I listen to music that I really like, I try to figure out what exactly the musicians are doing. I try to dissect parts of the song or the whole song, to get an idea of how it was made and why it sounds so freaking awesome. This is probably due half to my generally curious nature and desire to understand everything, and due half to my desire to write amazing music¹ and be really cool. I’ve noticed, though, that since being in a band and developing an interest in writing music, I definitely pay more attention to the individual elements of a song.

It’s also possible that I like occupying myself with the finer details of the music to avoid the boredom of driving. I don’t think I really dissect music as much while I’m sitting around on the computer, but maybe that’s because I’m usually doing something else, too.

Oh, I also always sing along really badly when I’m listening to music. When I’m at home, I keep it subdued so as not to subject my entire family to my singing. In the car, when I’m alone, I go all out and get really into it. I’m one of those drivers. Sometimes I’m secretly afraid of there being hidden cameras in the car, because there used to be a reality show that secretly taped bad car singers like me.

I’m sure there are plenty of people who have similar listening habits, but there are probably plenty of other types of listeners, too. That’s what I’m curious about. I wonder how other people interact with the music they like. Does everyone consider what the musicians are doing, what the chord progression is, what the rhythm of the song is, or is that only generally musicians? It doesn’t seem likely, but I don’t know. That’s a weird thing to ask random people. Unless you’re a blogger like me!

So…what do you think about while listening to music?

¹It should be noted that it’s mostly a desire, as I barely ever write music. Usually when I want to, I seem to forget everything I know about music, or my brain doesn’t know how to tell my fingers what to do. Mostly my brain is just full of thoughts about songs.

1. Name/Blog URL
2. Lefty/Righty/Ambidextrous
3. Letters you enjoy writing
4. Letters you dislike writing
5. Write “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
6. Write CRAB, HUMOR, KALEIDOSCOPE, PAJAMAS, and GAZILLION in caps.
7. Write one of your favorite song lyrics.
8. Write who should do this.
9. Any last blurb/note

As you can see my handwriting isn’t great. I wrote this with a regular ballpoint pen. I can write neatly if I want to, but generally I favor speed over legibility. ‘Cause normally when I’m writing something it’s in class, so I have to keep up with the lecture, or I’m just jotting something down quickly. Speaking of class, here’s a better idea of how I normally write (this is part of some homework, with bonus doodles on the side):

As you can see, this is significantly worse. I have a tendency to not space things correctly. Also, usually if I mess up a letter from writing too quickly, I’ll just write over it instead of erasing. I kind of connect letters a lot, too, even though I don’t write in cursive.

OBVI that old myth about geniuses having bad handwriting is true, because I am pretty much a genius and my handwriting is bad. So there you go, 100% true facts.

I’m going to be focusing on Joe Paterno here. Somehow, he has become the center of attention in this whole ordeal. Not really because of anything he’s done to demand it, but simply because he is a legendary college football coach, and he was fired. And he seems to be receiving a huge amount of support, especially from Penn State students, who actually took to the streets in the thousands to protest (read: tip over a news van and streetlamps) his firing. Not all Penn State students are behind him in this matter, of course, but a lot of them have come out to show their support.

Frankly, I find this amazing. I find it amazing that a large number of people can simply overlook the fact that Paterno turned a blind eye. I find it amazing that a large number of people seem to think he deserves to keep his job, or that his contributions to the University seem to outweigh his irresponsibility. The fact of the matter is this: Joe Paterno was informed of a specific incident, in which Sandusky was witnessed having sex with a boy, and he never went to the authorities. Granted, he reported it to his superiors, but they did nothing. Essentially, Sandusky was told not to bring minors to the University facilities, and was let off the hook. For nine more years.

No one can say that Paterno is free of responsibility because he told his superiors. You can’t just wash your hands of the matter once it’s moved up the chain of command. After his superiors did nothing, Paterno should have told the police. Or, he should have told the police immediately. He didn’t, though.

That’s not to say that Paterno is the only one responsible, though. Every person who had knowledge of Sandusky’s actions, but didn’t inform the authorities shares a part of the responsibility for Sandusky’s continued molestation. Every person who had knowledge of Sandusky’s actions, but didn’t take action, failed those eight boys. They failed to stand up and speak out for those without a voice.

That is why Joe Paterno deserves to be fired. People can talk all they want about how much he’s done, but in this matter, he didn’t do enough.

Little Josh Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating his pumpkin pie;
Along came an arachnid,
Who sat down beside him
And Josh freaked the fuck out and died.

Thank you, thank you. Your praise is appropriate, yet not enough.

Seriously, though, tonight I think I saw the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in my house:

Of course, it’s a lot less intimidating when it’s been contained! When I ran into it on the stairs, I assure you that I screamed. And I may or may not have had to go change my pants. I wasn’t going to run away, though. I came back, equipped with the necessary gear to capture the spider.

That’s my determined, spider-catching face, by the way. (On a side-note, don’t I look dapper?)

Why am I catching the spider instead of just crushing it into oblivion, you ask? Basically I’m a huge hippie and I honestly don’t like killing anything intentionally. Even scary spiders. That includes the black widow I captured and moved a month or so ago.

Once I was suited up (like Batman) I grabbed a big cup and a sturdy folder before engaging. I was cautious, because I thought it might jump on my face and kill me, but I wasn’t going to be scared off. Slowly, I moved in and positioned the folder underneath it and the cup above it. It was on the stairs, so it was a bit difficult getting into position, but I carefully corralled it down onto the folder and—BAM! I quickly placed the cup over it and I had it.

After getting the necessary documentation, I took the not-so-little guy outside. About fifty feet away from the house. For safe measure. And I threw him in the woods before frantically running away, flailing my arms, afraid that he would follow me and get revenge.

For now, though, I am safe.