April was pretty much a non-event blog-wise. I kind of tuned out and dropped out. I even entertained thoughts of quitting (for no other reason than non-interest on my part). But then I think about how much I’d miss all of you and how I’d have no one to talk with (even when it’s a one sided conversation). Plus, my BFF is moving to freakin’ Idaho at the end of the month, so then I’ll really have no one to talk to, especially about books.

Boo-hoo.

And while I’m having a pity party…I have a sunburn on the back of my neck (my reward for a bike ride) and a headache, and consequently I feel like crap. Not sick…just that grumpy, icky feeling that comes from sunburn. Mostly caused by the fact that I’m pissed I got a sunburn in the first place. It wasn’t even that hot out!

Okay, enough with the whining. Note to self: never blog sunburned.

April was, overall, a fun month. There were a few glitches, but lots of good times. I’d write a letter to April (like I did to January and February), but I still owe March a letter. Kind of like I owe the last 6 or so books that I’ve read a blog post. So why I’m writing this drivel instead of focusing on all of that? Good question.

My reading picked up a wee bit, although the audio listen of Einstein has come to a screeching halt. Oh, and the Zinn readalong. That seems to have come to a screeching halt, too. Or maybe it’s suffering from a flat tire. Whatever. The book has become hellaciously boring, Jenners quit (more power to her), and although I’m not quite ready to concede defeat, it’s not looking too good for ol’ Zinn.

But Kim and I are doing a buddy read of Catch-22 this month, so expect some craziness ahead.

I’ll also be in San Francisco for a weekend (with friends, so thanks for all of the meet-up offers, but I have to pass this time), doing my monthly drive to Fresno for a work meeting (woo-hoo), thinking about when to squeeze in a day trip to Santa Barbara with my mom, having good-bye lunches with the Idaho-bound BFF, and going on walks and bike rides with HB (who seems to think if he stops moving he’ll rust). Oh, and blogging.

I hope.

Silver Sparrow
Tayari Jones
2011
352 pages

I confess. I had no interest in reading this one (bigamy doesn’t really float my boat) until I saw the author speak at the Tucson Festival of Books. But I loved listening to her speak so much that I just had to read her book. This is the danger of book festivals…they make you want to read things you were convinced you weren’t interested in!

And yowza, did this end up being a book I was interested in. I gobbled it up in a day. Jones does a fabulous job with her characters. They are both sympathetic and flawed. They are real. I loved them. I hated them. I wanted their stories to never end!

I think most everyone has weighed in on this one, so I won’t recap, other to say…two daughters, two “wives,” two sides of the story. And one talented author.

The Wave
Susan Casey
2011
432 pages

Yes, I read this because HB is a surfer. Will HB read it, though? No. I thought if there was one book I could get him to read, it would be this. But even though I kept reading him passages about insane surfers, and mentioning names and places that he’s told me about, I still couldn’t get him interested.

Hmph.

In a nutshell, this book is about big waves. Freakishly big waves. Waves that crush ocean liners, scour bays, and destroy coastlines and cities. And waves that crazy surfers surf. Even knowing that if they wipe out there’s a high probability of death.

Casey does a great job of alternating between the surfer’s stories and her interviews with scientists. So the reader gets some relief from the sheer intensity (not to mention insanity) of the big wave surfers. Not that reading about the scientific research into big waves (there seems to be more of them than ever) and all they mayhem they cause is much of a relief. In fact, the book is kinda like the movie Jaws…you may never want to go in the ocean again.

Casey was one of the authors I saw at the Tucson Festival of Books. Most of her talk was also covered in the book, but she did a fabulous job of summing everything up. And she had visuals! I spent most of her talk staring at the giant waves on the screen behind her with my jaw open. And when she showed the video of Laird Hamilton surfing one of those monstrosities? All I could say was “Holy shit.” Under my breath, of course. I’ve seen plenty of surf movies in my 20 years of living with a surfer…but nothing on that scale.

It’s absolutely crazy to think that people want to surf waves like that. In fact, there’s a line in the book about a scientist who says something to the effect that anyone who chooses to surf waves that big has got to be crazy.

I totally agree.

You see, HB wanted to go to the movies, and here in Morro Bay we have but one theater (all shows $8.00…and cheap popcorn!). And since HB rarely wants to go see a movie, and this is what was playing, I took him up on the offer to go see a movie.

He loved it. Seriously, he couldn’t stop raving about it.

I had more mixed feelings:

I hated Prim. I thought she was a whiny baby. Same for mom. I seem to recall she had a bit more oomph in the book? Not a lot, but some.

Cinna fell a bit flat for me (maybe it’s ’cause Lenny just isn’t the same without the dreadlocks? He just wasn’t oozing his usual cool.). Same for Haymitch (for god’s sake, Woody, where’s your usual over the top performance??).

Ironically, Katniss was also a bit flat, but that totally worked for me, since she’s flat in the book, too.

Although I was fully Team Gale for the books, I’m switching teams for the movie, and going with Peeta, who had the far superior performance. Of course, he got way more screen time. Which is unfortunate, since Gale was way cuter. The little shit. Although they both look dorky here:

Caesar Flickerman. Oh how I love thee. Hands down, the best performance of the whole movie.

Oh wait. Rue. Rue was awesome, too.

As was the Capitol. It was exactly like I imagined, full of ridiculous people with ridiculous hair.

I think my orange shoes could’ve had a starring role!

After the last Salt ‘n Pepa song, Amy put in a request for Shoop, which turned out to be pretty fun. However, I’ll tell y’all right now…I’m not touching Push It. I tried (I got as far as “write it real good,” which I’ll confess totally cracks me up (I’m easily entertained by myself), but there’s just not much there in the way of lyrics. It’s a catchy tune, though…I’ve been singing it all week).

Anyhoosie. Shoop. Which is now Read. For Amy:

Hey, yeah – I wanna read, baby

Read
[Oooo, how you doin', baby
No, not you
You, the hard-covered one, (ha-ha) yeah
What's your title?
Damn, baby, that sounds awesome]

Here I go, here I go, here I go again (again?)
Girls, what’s my weakness? (Books!)
Ok then, browsin’, trowlin’ through Barnes and Noble (word)
I saw, I looked around, and I couldn’t believe this
I swear, I stared, it was Chernobyl
The author had it goin’ on with somethin’ kinda…uh
Wicked, wicked (oooo) – there’s no equal
I’m not shy so I asked for the sequel
A geek? No, that don’t make me
See what I want is to dive into it deeply
Felt it in my brain, it’s so insane, no way to abstain
Then I turned the next page, make me wanna read all night long
Read it, need it, ‘til my eyes turn to grit
Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit
Don’t know how you scree the deeds that I need
So well it’s a spell, hell, makes me wanna read read read

Read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book
Read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book
Read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book

Ummm, you’re sweeping and I’m weeping ‘specially at the end
Author, wanna thump your thinker for a book like that
Can I get a hankie with all that plight and blight?
If words could slay you would be dyn-o-mite
You’re a downer – boom! It’s all doom and gloom
Still wanna know how does it end?
Straight up, wait up, hold up, Author-Man
Keep it up and you’re gonna lose a fan
Well-a, I like ‘em real long, chunkster style by the mile
But not all full of guile
And unlike Donne, I wanna have some fun
Come (come) and (hmmm) hit me a home run
‘Topian, fiction, all part of my creed (please)
Baby, see you and I concede, you make me wanna…

Read read a book (Baby, hey)
Read a book
Read a book a book a book
Read read a book (Don’t you know I wanna read, baby)
Read a book
Read a book a book a book
Well let me bring you back to the subject, books on the brain
Books get you hot, make you learn things arcane
When you read a great book, my darling
The world falls away and away fall your worries
When I find a bitchin’ book betcha bottom dollar I’m readin’ like a Rhodes scholar
[Yo, book, I wanna like, read you]
Getcha getcha pages ready it’s time to go steady

On your mark, get set, read, let me read, wanna read
All the books on the shelf my own self
I spend all my dough, on you, cuties
Read read a bookie like that one with Sookie
You, I love you with your pretty covers, you make me discover
You make me wanna scream, “Oooo, oooo, oooo!”
I like what ya do when you do what ya do
You make me wanna read

Read read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book
Read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book

[Oh, my goodness, girl, look at this
It's the cutest cover ev-ah!
And it's comin' this May! Oooo!]

She and Fizzy B wanna read with me, cool (uh-huh)
But I’m a loner, just books and munchies like a stoner (that’s right)
I read my books for the hell of it, just for the thrill I get
Mmm mmm mmm, for the smell of it (smell it)
I need to know, what’s the hot read (hot read)It’s 50 Shades of Grey (damn)? That book’s taken over like a weed (yeah)
Sandy’s gotta read it, book club, whatta flub
So what you gonna do?
What you gonna do?
Mmmm, I wanna read

Read read a book
Not that book
Read a book a book a book
Read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book

Read read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book
Read a book
Read a book
Read a book a book a book

Oooooooooooooh, you make me wanna read
Hey yeah, I wanna read, baby

We saw “The Hunger Games.” I have thoughts. Many thoughts. (Do you put movies in quotes? Underlines? Italics? Why can’t I ever remember that rule?)

Last weekend it rained. Then it got all windy. Now it’s hot. As in summertime hot. And next week it’s supposed to rain again. What’s up with that?

Tomorrow is my birthday. What’s up with that, too? 43, people! How does shit like that happen??

Sorry for the curses. I actually don’t mind the birthdays, but at some point I’m going to hit 50 and I think I might just freak at that. But for now…head placed firmly in the sand.

To celebrate, tomorrow I’m having lunch with the family at our favorite place, Taco Temple. And there will be dessert, dammit.

Since tomorrow is family day, today I’m going to do whatever I gosh darn feel like (name that movie…and no, my lips don’t hurt real bad). Later this afternoon, HB and I are going to ride the cruisers on the Bob Jones Trail, a local bike path that goes to a little beach town. But he has to prep for some concrete work this morning, so I think I might just take myself into SLO and hang out and read and maybe write some more posts and buy myself a new pair of running shoes (for walking, because my feet prefer running shoes for walking) (also, boring, but needed, since I’m walking (NOT running) Bay to Breakers next month and I need to get them broken in sooner rather than later).

Speaking of shoes, these are my current favorite pair. Aren’t they kick-ass awesome? And they’re even more orange in person! And yes, I know this because I have a pair. I might just be 6 feet tall when I wear them.

Evidently, you guys like Salt ‘n Pepa. Who knew? Amy has put in a request for Shoop. And what Amy wants, Amy gets. Just not today. Tomorrow, maybe.

I haven’t read a book all week. What the hell?????

If you’re readathoning (I’m not, obvs), have fun! Not that you’d be reading this if you were readathoning. But I couldn’t let they day go by without a shout-out to the readers.

Now that I’ve shouted-outed, I’m off to get on with the doing of the whatever I gosh darned feel like.

What are you doing??

For this next song, I needed a band. Well, not a band really…I needed Pepa. Because Sheila requested a remake of “Let’s Talk About Sex” (into “Let’s Talk About Books,” of course) and you can’t talk about sex without Salt ‘n Pepa. Or, in this case, you can’t talk about books without Fizzy B and She. Fizzy B being me, of course, and She being Sheila. Sheila had to drop a syllable to fit into the song (because Salt says “Pep” a few times in the song and that extra syllable that Sheila sports just didn’t work for the song…and because every rapper needs a pseudonym…not that rappers call them pseudonyms, but you know what I mean. Right?).

And she doesn’t it know it yet, but Kim got co-opted for the part of DJ Spinderella (see the third verse)…simply because of this post and when I needed something to rhyme with flack, I thought of hack, and when I think of hack, I think of a certain author (even though, to be fair, I’ve never read any of his books). Hopefully Kim’s okay with the fact that she’s now in a band. And a song. By the way Kim, She will be in touch with you about the video of Push It that we’ll be working on next.

You really, really, really must listen to the song while you read it (although please ignore the few parts that don’t quite work…this one was hard, people!). Better yet, watch the video and picture Sheila dancing to Pepa’s part. I totally think she could pull it off.

“Let’s Talk About Books”

(Hey She.
Word.
Yo, I don’t think we should talk about this.
Come on, why not?
People might not care about what we’re tryin’ to say, you know?
Oh well, that’s their loss.)

Come on
Read on

Let’s talk about books, baby
Let’s talk about all the stories
Let’s talk about all our favorites
And for the bad ones…we’ll get snarky
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books

Oooh, let’s talk about books right now with people on our blogs or just out loud
Reading – it makes me say oh wow
Don’t delay, exchange, or change the topic
Cuz that ain’t gonna stop us
Now they talk about books those reviewers and purviewers
We’re reviewers, too, with skewers
Let’s tell ‘em what we think, and what we feel
Books that we like, and of course, books that appeal
Those who don’t like us have a choice
Shut down Reader, press delete, or turn the computer off
Will that stop us, She? I doubt it
All right then, come on, dish

Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books

Hot off the press, make a reader’s eyes pop
We read what we want and get whatever we don’t got
Readers drool like fools, ‘cause the characters are so human
The book was a hit because the plot was boomin’
Fic, non-, YA, dystopians
Nothin’ we read is ever common
Our reads are so great, we got taste
Tolstoy, Austen, no one is too great for us to get with
Or even mess with, Cronin, we say, is next on the list
Boy howdy, whoa, eyes glued to the text
There ain’t an author alive (or dead) that we won’t read next
Keepin’ a book in our bag so that we won’t be bored
And one in the car ‘cause we’re so hard core
Thinkin’ about the books that we’ll never have
No Kant, just Night, followed next by Grisham and Jane Eyre
That last book was dope

Ooh, ooh, ooh
Read it all, y’all

Let’s talk about books, baby (read it)
Let’s talk about the ending (buy it, borrow it)
Let’s talk about all the good ones
And the bad ones… eh, maybe
Let’s talk about books (come on)
Let’s talk about books (do it)
Let’s talk about books (uh-huh)
Let’s talk about books

Bloggers, all the bloggers, louder now, help me out
Come on, all the bloggers – let’s talk about books…all night

Bloggers, all the bloggers, louder now, help me out
Come on, all the bloggers – let’s talk about books, all night

(Yo, She, I don’t think they’re gonna play this on the radio
But why not? Everybody knows how to read
I mean, everybody should be readin’ books
Just like us…we really dig the books.)

Let’s talk about books, baby
Let’s talk about all the stories
Let’s talk about all our favorites
And for the bad ones…we’ll get snarky

What we have here is subject to controversy
A four-letter word some regard as a curse – READ
But try it and you might find joy
Tho some find books one big annoy
What makes us react like that is so unlogical
If you read a series best try it chronological
The first right of the reader is to give flack
DJ Kimberella thinks Sparks is such a hack
As a matter of fact, sometimes it’s like that
But anyway, read it or not, books are phat
Fizzy B and She happen to think any book is where it’s at
“Oh well,” we say, “what the hell, it’s chill,
Just read a book, whatever you will”
And better yet pass one on…transfer
Like I did to Care, now Ian is all hers

Let’s talk about books, baby
Let’s talk about all the stories
Let’s talk about all our favorites
And for the bad ones…we’ll get snarky

Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books

Let’s talk about books, baby
Let’s talk about all the stories
Let’s talk about all our favorites
And for the bad ones…we’ll get snarky

Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books
Let’s talk about books

Let’s talk about books

How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming
Mike Brown
narrated by Ryan Gesell
2010
7 hours 48 minutes (and 288 pages if you’d rather read it)

********************

Publisher’s description:

The solar system most of us grew up with included nine planets, with Mercury closest to the sun and Pluto at the outer edge. Then, in 2005, astronomer Mike Brown made the discovery of a lifetime: a tenth planet, Eris, slightly bigger than Pluto. But instead of adding one more planet to our solar system, Brown’s find ignited a firestorm of controversy that culminated in the demotion of Pluto from real planet to the newly coined category of “dwarf” planet. Suddenly Brown was receiving hate mail from schoolchildren and being bombarded by TV reporters—all because of the discovery he had spent years searching for and a lifetime dreaming about.

A heartfelt and personal journey filled with both humor and drama, How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming is the book for anyone, young or old, who has ever imagined exploring the universe—and who among us hasn’t?

This was an entertaining book to listen to. And it totally made sense at the time (unlike Einstein, my current sciencey listen). It also made me realize that I’ve forgotten the order of the planets (on the one hand, that’s kind of embarrassing, but on the other hand, I can’t say that I’ve had any reason whatsoever to spout off the order of the planets since high school science class, so maybe it’s good that the brain has freed up space for something else). For awhile there while I was listening I could once again tell you the order. But now? Please. That was 2 weeks ago. You expect me to remember that far back?

This book totally has its geeked out moments, but overall it’s an interesting way to get the full story on why poor Pluto got the planetary boot (which is something I’m still sad about, even after listening to Brown explain why Pluto really doesn’t deserve to hang with the big boys). Brown is surprisingly gentle with his readers, and he explains things so that they totally make sense. He also throws in the story of how he met his wife, got married, and had a daughter…all this was happening at the same time he was discovering planets that aren’t really planets and that led to poor Pluto being assassinated. Okay, fine…I agree that Pluto isn’t really worthy. But sometimes letting go is hard.

One of my favorite moments from the book was when Brown describes asteroids as the minnows of the solar system, and planets as whales. Not only did his explanation make perfect sense, but it provided a great visual, too. I think it also shows the talent that he has for making astronomy accessible to us science dunces.

Hamburger has been playing the electric bass lately. His musical choices are pretty much all over the place, from Sade to Rick James to The Police. Billy has been trying to get him to go a little more hardcore and play some White Zombie, but HB claims ignorance on all things Zombie. I’m not really sure how Billy came to be a fan, although I suspect it has something to do with a former neighbor (6 houses and almost 19 years ago) that would play La Sexorcisto at full volume so that the entire neighborhood got an education on White Zombie’s music. I’m sure all the retired folk in Morro Bay appreciated the devil music.

Because HB won’t play Billy’s requests, I decided to alter “More Human Than Human” just to make our little goat happy. If you’ve never heard White Zombie or Rob Zombie, you’re in for a treat. Okay…not really. It’s pretty hardcore (and this is one of the tamer songs), so listen to the original only if you don’t mind dreadlocked men screaming nonsensical lyrics peppered with obscenities. Although I do recommend listening up to the yeahs, just to get a feel for the song. I think Rob Zombie’s voice is perfect for a song for a little billy goat gruff.

Billy’s version, however, is rated G. Because Billy is just a kid.

I Read ‘n I Read Some More

Yeah, I am the little goat
Name of Billy the Kid
With the fuzzy wool coat, yeah
I am the goat who reads
I been to B-E-A
Walked the streets of N-Y-C
I read morning and night I
Read between the lines, yeah
I read the footnotes, too
Read every where I can
Even in a boat yeah

Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah

I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more

Yeah, I am a big Seuss fan
He really rocks my world
Love me some Green Eggs and Ham
I am a reading fool
Give me Lorax and the Cat
‘Cause reading’s cool, yeah
Please don’t judge my tastes
I read what I like and
I stay up all night, yeah
I’ll read ‘til four
Take a quick nap then I’ll
Read some more, yeah

Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah

I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more

Yeah, I hang with Fizzy B
I got reading glasses
Just like she, yeah
I am the cloven one
I’m off to the library
This reading’s sure fun, yeah

I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more
I read ‘n I read some more

Me: Meh. I’ll blog tomorrow. Or the next day. Maybe. It’s not like I have much to say anyways.

Self: Also, remember all those friends whose blogs you like to read?

Me: Well, yeah. I guess I should leave a comment or two. Maybe tomorrow? After I go feed the ducks?

Self: You’re such a flake.

Me: Oh shut up.

Self: Flake!

Me: Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala. I can’t hear youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.