Fjordball

Fjordball Has A New Home!

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:11:00 +0000

After almost a year of faithful service fjordball-towers, like a loyal but aging fullback, is being abandoned. The portraits of Raymond Kvisvik have all been taken down, the last Bengt Eriksen-shaped piñata has been hacked to bits and the bust of Otto Ulseth has been decimated for the last time.

In an exciting new move, fjordball has merged with the mighty Football in Finland and become Nordic Football News.

So update yer bookmarks and lock up yer daughters, as NFN will now be your primary source for all things pertaining to Norwegian and Nordic football. Articles, interviews and match-reports, wether you just want to know what's going on or you're looking to do some football betting off the beaten track, NFN will have it covered.

<- http://www.nordicfootball.info ->

It's All Gone A Bit Strange At Fredrikstad

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:40:00 +0000

Fredrikstad. A grand old club with 9 league titles and 11 cup wins to their name, who got relegated in 1984 and spent 18 years in the unsettling wilderness of the Norwegian lower divisions before returning to the big-time in 2003. Since then they've won a cup, built a shiny new ground and gradually made themselves a force in the league again, as last season's runners-up finish clearly shows. In 2009 they face a fork in the road: The contracts of nine of their players as well as their manager expire at the end of this season. This fall they hired Tor-Kristian Karlsen, a renowned talent-scout with considerable experience from behind the scenes of European clubs, as their sporting director with the idea of letting one of Norway's most competent young football-men modernize the club and use their current success as a platform to take club forwards. Karlsen went about his work, his abilities in the transfer-market being brought to bare with the shock-singing of Costa Rican midfielder Celso Borges, and he started planning a bright new future for Fredrikstad. It all looked so perfect.

You can imagine then that it rated about a 9,5 on NFN's WTF-o-meter when one of Norway's largest tabloids reported a few days ago that there was serious unrest in the Fredrikstad-camp, and a few hours later the club held a press-conference where they explained that Tor-Kristian Karlsen had resigned. Just how did that happen?

The Norwegian press has reported it as a personal conflict between Karlsen and Anders Grönhagen, the club's Swedish manager who orchestrated last season's remarkable silver medal in the league, though this depiction only partly accurate.

In the aftermath of Karlsen's resignation it becomes clear that yes, him and Grönhagen were incompatible: "We are two different types of persons who have very different approaches to how a football club should be run," Karlsen told local newspaper Fredrikstad Blad. Reportedly he wanted the club to focus on youth development while Grönhagen represented a more short-term, results-orientated view. While there's no evidence for this, it's not an unreasonable assumption to say that these differing views would have clashed badly on the subject of contract re-negotiations.

In an attempt to simplify the situation Fredrikstad's chief executive Runar W. Henriksen told TV2 that "Karlsen chose to resign after a meeting we had. He chose to resign because we didn't agree with his plans", a statement which cuts to the heart of the problem in ways Henriksen himself probably isn't aware of: You don't hire a sporting director and then undermine his plans for the club, it's the administrative equivalent of the board deciding on the team-selection. As Karlsen himself told Fredrikstad Blad: "I'm no longer at FFK because the board didn't back me up on the plans I was hired to implement".

Grönhagen for his part has been rather two-faced in this situation, which will surprise many since the Swede expertly cultivated a sort of sympathetic old uncle-image through the press last season. "There's no power-struggle," he told Norwegian tabloid VG. "I had act, or it would all have gone to hell", he told Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet. Make of that what you will.

What it all boils down to is this: Having hired Tor-Kristian Karlsen this fall to lead the club to a bright new future, the Fredrikstad board flinched when it turned out that backing their man and his vision for the club meant parting company with a manager who has made himself very popular with the public, and like most football executives the idea of making themselves unpopular with the public didn't really appeal to them.

As dust settles around the situation, what remains is a Fredrikstad board with very little credibility and a manager who isn't quite the benevolent uncle people thought he was. And Grönhagen will now be under serious pressure to get results, as the club have effectively exchanged their long-term vision in favor of his short-term ambition.

Back to the Stoneage for Norway as Olsen Gets the Gig

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:59:00 +0000

There's an old football-adage that says once you've been successful somewhere you should never go back, but then again it shouldn't surprise anyone that a pragmatic, scientific man like Egil "Drillo" Olsen doesn't put much stock into such things. Yes, in an unexpected and slightly bizarre turn of events, the 66 year old wellie-wearing weirdo is back in charge of the Norwegian national team.

Egil Olsen wants YOU (to play a 70-yard diagonal pass to a freakishly tall winger)

After failing to secure the services of any of their preferred top targets, the Norwegian football association has given the job temporarily to Egil "Drillo" Olsen, the man who previously guided the team to consecutive world cups in 1994 and 1998. He has been hired primarily for the three upcoming friendlies against Germany, South Africa and Finland, but unless the association's first choice for the long-term appointment (widely assumed to be Fc Copenhagen manager Ståle Solbakken) becomes available, chances are the 66 year old tactician will be in charge for the rest of the Wold Cup qualifying-campaign.

The appointment has been meet with a positive reaction by Norwegians, fueled largely by nostalgia for those glory nights of the 90ties and a distinct feeling that after the disastrous year that was 2008 then it certainly can't get any worse. After a full calendar year without a win, one can easily forgive Norwegians for giving up on the idea of sexy football and just going with whatever might get them a result now and then. Media-reaction has also been largely positive, with Drillo's former disciples (most of whom now manage or work behind the scenes at various Tippeliga and Adeccoliga clubs) virtually queuing up to sing his praises and few other pundits having the cojones to go against the tide of public opinion.

A few have had the audacity to break ranks and criticise the appointment, most notably Aalesund-manager Kjetil Rekdal, who stuck his head out of the trench and told the media that re-hiring Drillo is a step in the wrong direction, that times have changed since the 90ties and that the people in charge of hiring a new manager are all incompetent. Which is all probably true, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and it appears that the Norwegian people are quite content with turning into the international version of Bolton Wanderers if it means putting a few wins on the board.

The decision to go back to Drillo is bizarre to say the least, as the hiring of Hareide in 2004 was supposed to mark a shift in direction for Norwegian football: Defensive long-ball thuggery wasn't seen as the way forward and even though it would probably mean less impressive results the federation wanted a national team that looked like it could string a few passes together. The hiring of Drillo for the short-term (and the assumed hiring of Solbakken for the long-term) indicates a return to the days of continually hoofing the ball forwards, the kind of football which famously caused midfield-magician Erik Mykland to retire from international football because his neck hurt from watching balls fly over his head. It's a remarkable u-turn, and one which probably wouldn't have been quite so welcome in the eyes of the public if they weren't quite so blinded by the horrific results of 2008.

At any rate, it will certainly be interesting to see how Drillo, once a member of the now disbanded Norwegian Communist Party, deals with the bloated ego's of today's multimillionaire footballers, and how his footballing philosophies hold up in 2009. If nothing else, there are plenty of questions that will be answered one way or the other this coming season, and for Drillo, one of Åge Hareide's most vocal critics in these last couple of years, it's time to put his money where his mouth has been.

Managerial Re-Shuffle

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:38:00 +0000

Taking a wholly undeserved break from the very serious business of doing sod-all, fjordball returns to sum up the managerial comings and going so far this winter..

Grabbing most of the headlines obviously is Åge Hareide's decision to step down as manager of the Norwegian national team. The former Molde and Rosenborg manager deserves praise for doing the mature thing in accepting responsibility for this annus horribilis of Norwegian international football, and timing his departure so that the NFF has plenty of time to find a replacement (the next international fixture is in February). A number of names have been mentioned in connection with the job, and fjordball will return with a more comprehensive piece on this later.

One of the names touted as a potential replacement for Hareide is Tom Nordlie, the space hopper-shaped former manager of Lillestrøm. While he has expressed an interest in the job, he is for the moment set to manage the somewhat mighty Kongsvinger next season. The Adeccoliga-side brought in Nordlie to save their bacon when threatened with relegation this season, and the mountain-sized motivator duly delivered and even agreed to stay on for next season (not that a call from the NFF wouldn't change his mind about that one).

Steinar Nilsen somewhat surprisingly shunned the allure of reigning Danish champions AaB and accepted the offer from Brann, replacing the rather unfairly ousted Mons Ivar Mjelde. Nilsen would do well to note that before the relative calmness of Mjelde-era Brann was known as one of the most trigger-happy clubs in the land, going through managers in an almost Zamparini-esque manner. Footballing-wise it makes a lot of sense though, as Nilsen's Tromsø were quite similar to Mjelde's Brann in terms of style and tactics, so Brann won't need to completely revamp their squad to suit their incoming manager's vision.

The vacant seat at Tromsø has been filled by Per-Mathias Høgmo, former manager of the Norwegian national ladies team and one of the few brave souls who tried to manage Rosenborg shortly after the legendary Nils Arne Eggen "retired". Høgmo will be familiar with the surroundings at Alfheim, having managed Tromsø with relative success back in 2004.

Newly promoted Start have also found a replacement for their departed manager in the shape of Knut Tørum. Tørum shot to national attention in 2006 when he was working as assistant manager to Per-Mathias Høgmo at Rosenborg and Høgmo succumbed to the pressure of the job and had to take a two month sick-leave, leaving the inexperienced Tørum in charge of the biggest club in the country. Tørum took his chance with both hands, turned the club's season around and ended up winning the league. The season after things went a bit pear-shaped, and in spite of two memorable wins against Valencia in the champions league Tørum resigned after taking a savage beating in the press because of Rosenborg's poor season domestically. With many still questioning his ability as a manager, the Start-job represents and ideal opportunity for Tørum to prove a lot people wrong.

The Fjordball Team Of The Season Part 3: Forwards!

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:32:00 +0000

And now, for the truly tasty part of this thing, the forward trio:

Right Forward:

Veigar Pall Gunnarsson (Stabæk)

We know, we know, he isn't strictly a right forward/winger, more of second striker who loves nothing more than to bewilder opposing defenses by occupying the space just in front of them and flicking devilishly clever through balls into the path of his teammates' expertly timed runs, but such a position doesn't really exist in our preferred 4-3-3-formation and Gunnarsson is a versatile bloke so we'll stick him out wide. And anyway, with 10 goals and a whopping 14 assists this season, a Team of the Season without him wouldn't have much credibility. To put it this way: Pall Gunnarsson scored or created more goals than HamKam scored all season.

Looking only at the sporting side of things, Pall Gunnarsson is fjordball's favorite player in the Tippeliga right now. While Nannskog and Alanzinho usually get the headlines, Pall Gunnarsson is the real brain behind Stabæk's fantastically flowing forward-play and probably the one of their stars who would be hardest to replace. Which is why their sporting director Lars Bohinen told French side Nancy to bugger off when they offered 15 million NOK for him a few weeks ago.

Centre forward:

Daniel Nannskog (Stabæk)

Top-scorer and captain of the side that pretty much romped the league, not bad for a 35 yearold. Careful observes will have noticed that his turn of pace isn't quite as terrifying as it used to be and his output is diminishing (16 goals against 19 the two seasons before), but with Torstein Helstad gone he is by some margin the best finisher in the league and his leadership and irrepressible will to win is an invaluable asset to Stabæk. He remains undecided on whether or not he'll go back to Sweden, and while he would be a real loss for the Tippeliga there's a part of fjordball who feels he should leave while he's on top. Having said that, it's very possible that he'll sign a new contract with Stabæk and score 20+ goals next season just to prove his critics wrong, really, you can never rule anything out with this fella.

Left forward:

Trond Olsen (Bodø/Glimt)

Completing the Fjordball Team Of The Season is Bodø/Glimt's outstanding winger Trond Olsen. With 10 goals and 11 assists he was involved in over half of Bodø/Glimt's goals (at total of 36), and his pace on the break made him a constant threat to opposing teams. Was handed a wholly deserved international debut in that game against the Ukraine and should be seriously considered as an option for the national team, certainly as an impact-sub coming off the bench against tired legs. Olsen's raw pace makes him a perfect fit for Bodø/Glimt's cheeky counter-attacking ways, and an occasionally thunderous shot makes him a player who requires constant attention from your defenders if you're going to contain him.

So there we are, the eleven players who have been truly outstanding in their positions this season. A team we'd pay good money to watch, and one which would probably give the Norwegian national side a good spanking (though times may be a-changing, more on that later..). .

The Fjordball Team Of The Season Part 2: Midfield

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:49:00 +0000

Now, let's see who make up the midfield-trio in our team of the season..

Right midfield

Johan Andersson (Stabæk)

Joint second in the top-scoring charts with an impressive twelve goals from his midfield position, Andersson was a constant threat to opposing defenses this season. With his superb ability to time his forward runs he is a perfect fit for Stabæk's flowing attacking football, feeding on a seemingly limitless supply of clever flicks and through-balls from his teammates.

Left midfield

Alanzinho (Stabæk)

Very few things left to say about Alanzinho as columnists, pundits and fans alike have all been waxing lyrical about the pocket-sized Brazilian throughout the entire season. And, unusually with such collective love-ins, the praise is all warranted. His goal against Aalesund is one of the lasting memories of this seasons Tippeliga, and there were eight other fine strikes to savor, as well as a unknown number of outrageous dribbles. While opinion is still divided among experts about whether he would be able to the things he does in a bigger league against less rubbish defenders, there is no doubt that Alanzinho is starting to outgrow the Tippeliga and that his days here are numbered..

Central midfield

Kasey Wehrman (Fredrikstad)

Anchoring this über-attacking trio you need a real stalwart, a bulldog with a brain, a midfield marauder who can also play some ball. And even though he just played 17 of the 26 games this season and got himself into fjordball's bad books by being a bit of a twit, the truth is that Kasey Wehrman was by some margin the best holding midfielder in the 2008 Tippeliga. Wehrman is very much the Roy Keane of the Tippeliga, as his almost brutal style and unpredictable temperament causes most people to label him as just a hard-man. But, like with Keane, underneath his blood-and-thunder approach to the game there is a very intelligent player whose positioning, reading of the game and passing of the ball are all at a level we don't often see in this league. Fredrikstad would do well to sort out his contractual situation sharpish, as there will be no shortage of interested parties should he decide that it's time to move on..

The Fjordball Team Of The Season Part 1: Goalkeeper and The Back Four

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:20:00 +0000

Savaged by post-exam parties, internal conflicts and yellow-clad Thai protesters, Fjordball-towers is rapidly starting to resemble the HQ of an Islandic bank. Still, as the dust settles and we all start to get some perspective on the 2008-season, here are the 11 players that caught our eye this time around, arranged in a traditional Norwegian 4-3-3 formation, starting the goalkeeper and the back four.

Goalkeeper

Sead Ramovic (Tromsø)

Perhaps not as consistent as Stabæk's Jon Knudsen, Tromsø's utterly bonkers Bosnian backstop gets the nod from us due to his superlative entertainment-value. Ramovic may be unorthodox, unsympathetic and more than slightly mad, but 23 goals conceded in 26 games for Tromsø is an astounding record. Ramovic is currently looking for a new club after his successful stint with the Northerners and it will be interesting to see where the nutty netminder ends up.

Right Back

Jon Inge Høiland (Stabæk)

Not a lot of outstanding candidates here, but Jon Inge Høiland has had a fine season for Stabæk and more or less established himself as Norway's first-choice right-back. An accomplished defender who is not afraid to bomb forward, Høiland also scores points for versatility, having filled in in a number of positions for Stabæk this season.

Right Centreback

Tore Reginiussen (Tromsø)

While he still looks slightly out of his depth at international level, there is no doubt that for Tore Reginiussen this season was another step in the right direction. The young defender has added some maturity to his game and is a much more commanding presence now than he used to be. Will certainly move abroad this winter, with a proposed January-move to Blackburn looking very likely to happen.

Left Centreback

Morten M. Skjønsberg (Stabæk)

Like a few other Stabæk-players he had an absolute stinker in the cup-final, which almost made us plump for Fredrikstad's giant Estonian Raio Piiroja instead, but looking at the season as a whole then you have to say Morten Skjønsberg has been very very good. He is slowly but surely developing into a fine defender and a real challenger to the position of "guy playing next to Brede Hangeland" in the national side.

Left Back

Wallace Fernando Perreira (Fredrikstad)

A typically attack-minded Brazilian left-back whose forward runs cause havoc in opposing defenses. Scored some remarkable free-kicks (the ones against Brann and Bodø/Glimt were particularly good) as well, and overall his attacking contribution is enough for us to overlook his occasionally quite dodgy defensive efforts. Another season like that and Fredrikstad could struggle to keep hold of him..

Raging Riise Distracts From Inept Performance

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:13:00 +0000

Ukraine 1 (Selenzev) - 0 Norway

When Latvian referee Romas Lajuks quite perplexingly gave Jon Arne Riise a straight red for allegedly saying "that's fucking shit" he actually did Norway-manager Åge Hareide a favor.

You see, the Edvartsenesque sending off meant today's papers were dominated by the sensitive ref rather than the fact that Norway were yet again an incoherent and shambolic lot, and that for the first time since 1978 the Norwegian national side has gone an entire calendar-year without winning a game. Today's follow-up stories were about how Hareide thinks the referee needs to take an English-course and how we see more serious swearing all the time, even in the Tippeliga.

What we also see in the Tippeliga are Norwegian players who look like they know what they're supposed to be doing (unless you're watching HamKam), something last nights friendly against a distinctively under-strength Ukraine was almost completely devoid of. Credit where it's due, Hareide handed Vålerenga's phenomenal forward "Moa" a much deserved start and he showed glimpses of quality, and Jon Knudsen showed that while we all wait for the more talented Rune Jarstein to sort himself out he is a highly reliable alternative. But there endeth the positives. The midfield didn't make any sort of sense, Morten Gamst Pedersen seems to be in the worst funk of his career (for both club and country), Tore Reginiussen clearly has promise but still doesn't quite cut the mustard internationally, and so on and so forth.

With pacy forwards like Moa and Trond Olsen on the pitch and the possibility of bringing the criminally under-used Tarik Elyounoussi off the bench, going down to 10 men could have been a useful exercise in counter-attacking for Norway, but whenever the Norwegians managed to get the ball it was swiftly surrendered through aimless hoofs up the pitch. There is a reason Norway are now below Saudi-Arabia in the FIFA-rankings.

"We've just got to draw a line through the year 2008," said Hareide after the game. While that may be the most tempting option for the man responsible, perhaps a thorough analysis of what went wrong would be more useful in the long run..

Aalesund Batter Sogndal, Lyn Batter Fans' Nerves, Brann Batter Their Own Credibility

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 05:40:00 +0000

The trauma of University exams and the inevitable yet utterly destructive post-exam binge has left fjordball-towers in a sorry state, and obviously a few stories have been missed this past week..

Aalesund Batter Sogndal

Rather predictably, Aalesund's two-legged playoff against Sogndal was never much of a contest. In the first leg Sogndal were smacked around in their own backyard and lost 1-4, making the second leg a bit of a formality. A hat-trick from man-mountain Tor Hogne Aarøy in the first half of that second leg sent Aalesund on their way to a 3-1 win, making it an emphatic 7-2 on aggregate. The ridiculously large (204 centimeters, for God's sake) forward told the press afterwards that he wanted to go abroad next year, possibly to Japan, which if national anatomical stereotypes are anything to go by would be just cruel.

Lyn Batter Fans' Nerves

Even more predictably, Lyn were in deep doodoo when time came to renew the club's pro-license thingy for 2009, seeing as they were some way off meeting the Norwegian FA's demands for fiscal stability. The club that a few months ago almost went bankrupt now faced being relegated to the wild wastelands that is the 3rd tier of Norwegian football, but while details are hazy it appears that they were bailed out in the very last minute. Much to the delight of their fans, obviously. Come to think of it, much to the delight of fjordball as well, as Lyn are a club that keeps giving young talents a chance to play at the highest level of Norwegian football, and there aren't too many of those around.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (and manage Brann)?

One of the most farcical hiring-processes of recent years looks like it might be coming to an end, as Brann have yet again held a meeting with Steinar Nilsen. After having been rejected by Åge Hareide, Nils Johan Semb, Ole Gunnar Solskjær, some Swedish blokes and some other people as well, they turned to Nilsen a few weeks ago (though bizarrely they denied it at the time). Then they flew in Esbjerg-manager Troels Bech (who was fired from Esbjerg shortly after, as it happens) so that he could have a look around, before seemingly changing their minds and having another meeting with Steinar Nilsen.

All this sniffing around and talking to different people isn't that unusual really, but having every inch of the recruitment-process published in the press however is just ridiculous. Brann's sporting director Roald Bruun-Hanssen, a recent recipient of one of fjordball's much coveted awards, seems hell-bent on undermining their next manager before he has even started the job by making it perfectly clear to everyone that whoever ends up getting the job wans't even their second or third choice, but more like their sixth or seventh choice. Way to go Roald!

(Part two of the awards-thingy IS coming, we promise. And also, you can look forward to a "team of the year" as nominated by someone who actually knows what he's talking about!)

The 2008 Fjordball-Awards Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 15:46:00 +0000

The Norwegian football community quite bizarrely decided to have their pompous, smug and self-gratifying award-ceremony before the cup-final had been played, but not us, no siree, here at fjordball-towers we wait until the season is actually over before we publish a pompous, smug and self-gratifying award-ceremony-post-thingy.

But before we move on to the heavies, like the team of the year and of course the much coveted "Golden Fjord"-award, let's have some more light-hearted awards..

The 2008 Raymond Kvisvik Award for Fiscal Prudency

Named after the financial phenomenon that is Raymond Kvisvik (whose house has been repossessed and is still up for sale, if you're interested), this award wishes to honor those that in these credit-crunched times continue show a particular devotion to the noble art of wasting money. And this year there can be no other winner than, you guessed it, Brann's sporting director Roald Bruun-Hansen, who thought it was a good idea to spend 9,5 million NOK on a 29 year old striker who is utterly unsuited to Brann's style of play and has never scored more than 8 goals in a league season in Scandinavia. Impressive stuff Roald, impressive stuff.

The 2008 Prince Philip Award for Political Correctness

Step forward Frode Olsen, the TV2 pundit and former sporting director of Bryne argued in the aftermath of the Bjørn Helge Riise-debacle that calling someone a son of a whore is crossing a line, but homophobic chanting on the other hand is quite alright. Hopefully fans will keep this in mind whenever he turns up at a ground to summarize or commentate next season..

Olsen: The nemesis of male hairdressers everywhere

The 2008 Rune Lange Award for Utter Uselessness

No shortage of candidates in this category, but when it comes to the pinnacle of uselessness you have to look at HamKam, and in particular some of their more dodgy imports this season. Srdjan Urosevic is a strong challenger for the crown, with his four appearances, two yellow cards an an average rating of 2,67 (out of 10, ffs).

But the award has to go to Sebino Plaku, whose total contribution to the HamKam cause was one appearance and three offsides (giving him an average rating of 2,00). Plaku is in fact so useless, his youtube-compilation actually includes a clip of him wasting a perfectly good chance by shooting straight at the keeper (at the 2.30-mark in the clip). And then it repeats it, in slow motion. Note to HamKam: Stop buying random players you find on ebay.

Lange: Slightly less useless than HamKam's random imports

The 2008 Graham Poll Award for Attention-Seeking

Daniel Nannskog obviously a strong contender as always, and referee Svein-Erik Edvardsen's tendency to randomly send people off makes him hard to ignore, but with a late swoop it's Strømsgodset's David Nielsen who walks away with this one. The Danish power-forward effectively torched his career by writing all sorts of vaguely shocking things in his autobiography. Viking's Allan Gaarde summed it up: "This is just about a git who wants to make a lot of money by writing some crazy things".

The 2008 Bengt Eriksen Award for Rubbish Punditry

You'd think the great man himself would win his own award, but in spite of sounding consistently clueless all season he was beaten by an almost Redknapp-esque late comeback. We are of course talking about TV2's usually so reliable anchor-man Davy Wathne, who on the subject of crowd-abuse wrote the following on his blog:

"When a footballer is abused to the extent that he becomes distracted and unable to do his job, the referee in my opinion should take action, stop the game and make it clear to the crowd that this cannot continue. Should the problem persist, it's up to the stewards in charge to clear the stands and make sure conditions for the players are acceptable."

Now, had he been talking about racism or homophobic chants that would have been one thing, but no, he means any chant that a player might find upsetting. Essentially, in the mind of Davy Wathne, the only thing the crowd should be allow to sing is variations on "Go team!".

Wathne: Out of touch with the world outside his studio

The 2008 Kristian Sørlie Award for Poor Judgement

Sørlie himself obviously a stand-out candidate, but we've decided to put a lid on that unfortunate business involving him, an underage girl and, well, the police, so we'll let him get away with it for now. Outgoing sporting director of Lillestrøm Jan Åge Fjørtoft makes a strong challenge with his decision to attend a celebrity party in St. Tropez while his club was in a complete meltdown and was knocked out of the cup by a team from the lower leagues.

But if you're looking for continually poor judgement throughout the season look no further than HamKam's manager Arne Erlandsen. From signing random players possibly found on ebay to picking the incredibly dodgy goalkeeper Ivar Rønningen ahead of the promising Johan Masalin for half of the season, Erlandsen's return to the Tippeliga has been blighted by poor decisions. Hilariously, he also had a dig earlier on the season at former managers who had left the game to do punditry at TV2, only for one of them to take over HamKam-closest relegation-rivals and steering them to safety, effectively relegating Erlandsen's boys. Better luck next time, Arne.

More Awards to come..

Redemption For Mad Martin And His Merry Men

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 14:52:00 +0000

Bloody Hell.

A member of the fjordball writing-staff, as seen after the game

Vålerenga 4 - 1 Stabæk

Yep, in a plot-twist so unexpected it would have made Nostradamus go "Wtf?! That is some weird shit dawg" had he still been around, Vålerenga absolutely battered Stabæk in today's showpiece cup final.

The much maligned Mad Martin got his tactics spot on (for once), and Stabæk had no response to Vålerenga's aggressive and physical approach. In addition many of Vålerenga's underperforming stars looked uncannily like the players they are supposed to be, Kristofer Hæstad in particular played like a man possessed.

Stabæk's trusted plan A of having Veigar Pall Gunnarsson drop down in front of the opposing back four to receive the ball and play it through to Daniel Nannskog was countered by the turbo-charged Hæstad continually closing the Icelandic international down. Their plan B of giving the ball to Alanzinho and seeing what happens failed to yield positive results as well, as the pint-sized Brazilian was expertly roughed up throughout the game by committed Vålerenga-players. Mad Martin's decision to have his team keep a relatively high line and go for the offside-trap was risky, but his back four pulled it out with a focused and disciplined display. On the offensive, Vålerenga deployed a deadly duo of Daniel Fredheim Holm and Mohammed Abdellaoue who scored two each and put in otherwise stellar performances.

The triumph obviously puts quite a lot of gloss on an otherwise miserable season for Vålerenga, and the nature of the performance will give their fans a lot of hope for next season. You have to ask though, why does it take a cup-final for some of their stars to put in performances matching their reputations?

As for Stabæk, there was something almost Arsenal-esque about the way they failed to respond to Vålerenga's physical game and the way they had absolutely no alternative ideas when their tippy-tappy passing-game didn't come off. Other Tippeliga-teams will have been watching, and Stabæk will need to find a way of dealing with this sort of opposition if they are going to have a chance at defending their title.

Stabæk - Vålerenga - Cup Final Preview

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 02:06:00 +0000

Their seasons have contrasted in the extreme, but here they both are in the final of the Norwegian Cup, arguably the biggest club-fixture of the Norwegian football calendar.

There are some funny contradictions afoot: Vålerenga are a team with it's traditions firmly rooted in the working-class and the eastern parts of Oslo, while Stabæk hails from the oh so painfully posh Bærum. Yet, Vålerenga spend more than most other teams in the country, while Stabæk's budget is perplexingly modest. It may well be possible to buy success in the modern game, but for every million Vålerenga spend they quite frankly seem to get worse. Stabæk on the other hand have invested wisely and assembled the most fearsome starting eleven we've seen on these shores in recent years. And while working-class Vålerenga prepare for the upcoming final in regal surroundings at Hafslund Hovedgård, swanky Stabæk are applying their final touches at the run-down and soon to be torn down Nadderud Stadium.

Vålerenga's miserable season is a bit of a mystery. Granted, they've spent badly, but there's still way too much talent there for them to finish the season 10th, a whopping 24 points off champions Stabæk. Here at fjordball-towers we can't help it think that their season took a turn for the worse when they were spanked by Molde back in July. Mad Martin told the press after the game that the result was an aberration, that they should just forget it at quickly as possible. The team promptly went on a 8 game winless-streak that wrecked their season beyond repair.

But amidst of all those inept performances they somehow managed to scrape by in the cup, and here they are, with a golden opportunity to put some gloss on an otherwise miserable season.

Stabæk.. well.. what is there left to say? They have been absolutely superb pretty much all season, and should they beat Vålerenga it would be the icing on a quite remarkable cake. It's easy to forget just how far Stabæk have come in such a short time, especially as they've been such an impervious force this season from the first kick of the ball, but the fact is they've actually only ever won two trophies: The 1998 Norwegian Cup and the 2008 Tippeliga. Sunday they could cap a wholly deserved domestic double, and as was written on these hallowed pages back in april, it may well be the start of an era.

Mad Martin Andresen has seemed uncharacteristically dejected prior to the final, admitting to the press that Stabæk are favorites and then some. "Stabæk are big favorites. They've been the best team in Norway this year. They beat us 6-2 just two weeks ago. And they've played the best football this year," he told VG. Perhaps realizing just how demoralizing this must sound to his players, he tried to put a positive spin on it all by adding that this means Vålerenga have nothing to lose. Way to stay positive.

The only worry for Stabæk at this point is the slight injury-scare to Veigar Pall Gunnarsson, who at least from a tactical perspective is probably their most important player. Rather amusingly to us neutrals, Veigar was clattered in training by Stabæk-captain Mike Kjølø, who as it happens has just been told the club probably won't renew his contract. A coincidence obviously, but it produced distinct chuckles here at fjordball-towers none the less. Word is he should be ok, so it's probably not something Stabæk-fans should lose sleep over, but if Gunnarsson were to struggle that would even the odds a bit.

As for predictions.. well.. fjordball does like to go against the stream a bit, but this time it's very hard to see anything else than an emphatic victory for Stabæk.

Final Adecco-Update and Half-Assed Season Review

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:00:00 +0000

We realize that in light of recent world events it might be difficult to get exited about the Adeccoliga right now, but if you could just tear yourself away from the most recent leaks from David Nielsen's autobiography (which includes the startling revelation that while at Wimbledon our hero saw Vinnie Jones punch someone) for one minute then we'll tell you how it went down..

Odd Grenland couldn't really be arsed in their game against Sarpsborg Sparta, and lost 5-1. There's no reason to read anything at all into that result, seeing as they could have lost 76-0 and still won the league by a healthy margin.

Start for their part had given away a bunch of tickets to random people in other to fill their ground for the last day of the season, and freebee-loving Southerners were treated to a cagey 1-0 win over Notodden. Over at Sandefjord the final game was a bit of a dud as well, as a 0-0 draw with Hønefoss won't exactly have had the punters screaming for more.

The playoff-place went to... drum roll.. spring roll.. SOGNDAL. Yes, they comfortably overcame they ground-breakingly awful Hødd with 3-0 scoreline, and will face Aalesund in a two-legged playoff.

Down in the relegation-battle Alta got out of jail, as their 3-0 away-defeat at the hands of Løv-Ham could have seen them relegated, IF Sandnes Ulf had gotten a win against NIL-Trysil. But they didn't, they lost 2-0, so Sandnes Ulf follow Hødd out into the frightening footballing wilderness that is the Norwegian 2. division.

That leaves two games which didn't really matter, Bryne versus Kongsvinger and Haugesund versus Moss, and they ended 2-1 and 2-2 respectively.

Final standings here.

Our Predictions - Rubbish or not?

Soo.. let's play the game that every pundit hates: Compare pre-season predictions with what actually happened. But, since very few people can be bothered to make predictions on the Adeccoliga, we'll just have to do with our own.

The embarrassing bit first: We had Bryne and Kongsvinger down as potential promotion-chasers. Obviously things went all sorts of pear-shaped for both, and in the end they were both almost relegated. We also had Moss down as a team with an outside chance of making a push, which clearly didn't happen. Finally, we had NIL-Trysil down as a potential relegation-candidate, and as it turns out they were comfortably mid-table and never looked in danger.

Thankfully, the list of stuff we got right is much longer. Odd and Start went up, as predicted. Sandefjord went up as well, and while they ended up with more points than Start we feel the prediction that they might have a harder time getting there still stands as they needed to change their manager early in the season to get it right.

We did say about Sogndal that "if they can go on a good run they might be dark horses for promotion", which is exactly what happened; they went on a good run late in the season and ended up in the playoff-spot.

Predicting that the likes of Notodden, Haugesund, Løv-Ham and Hønefoss would be mid-table fodder isn't much to gloat about really (though it should be said that Hønefoss did much better than expected), and even Bengt Eriksen could have forseen that Alta, Sandnes Ulf and Hødd would struggle.

All in all, with the exception of the meltdown-duo (Bryne & Kongsvinger), the season pretty much panned out as expected. A stark contrast to the Tippeliga, if nothing else.

Fun With Numbers

This season's top scorer was, predictably, Odd Grenland's Peter Kovacs. The giant Hungarian notched up 23 goals in 27 games.

In the other end of the pitch, congratulations to Notodden's Finnish defender Jukka Hakala who scored no less than three own goals. He was also sent off twice, which made him a joint leader in that particular chart as well. Better luck next time, Jukka.

Looking at the final standings, we notice among other things that Alta, who were a point away from relegation, actually scored more goals than Sandefjord, who of course got promoted. If nothing else, the Northerners had the testicular fortitude to keep attacking. We also note that Hødd only managed to win twice in thirty games, which is just jaw-droppingly bad. Another fun-fact: The second highest-scoring team in the league were Moss, but they still finished 9th. Go defense.

Team of the Year

According to wildly unreliable player-ratings, this is the 2008 Adeccoliga Team of the Year:

Keeper: Espen Bugge Petersen (Sandefjord) - 24 conceded in 30 games is an astounding record, even with Sandefjord's impressive defense in front of him.

Right Back: Frode Lafton (Hønefoss) - Has had a solid season, and was along with his brother Lars Lafton one of the big reasons why Hønefoss where punching above their weight all year.

Centre Back: Clarence Goodson (Start) - Too good for this league. Everyone saw what happened to Start's form when he was ill.

Centre Back: Birger Madsen (Sandefjord) - Almost joined Viking before the season began, and there's a reason the ambitious Stavanger-outfit wanted him. Like Goodson, has no business being in this league.

Left Back: Alexander Gabrielsen (Sandefjord) - Came through the ranks at Viking but got fed up with waiting for a chance in the first team. Fjordball suspects they regret letting him go.

Right Midfield: Umaru Bangura (Hønefoss) - Hey! It's that bloke who may or may not be Al Bangura's brother! And by the looks of it, he's quite good! Fancy that.

Central Midfield: Morten Fevang (Odd) - 15 goals from midfield. Very much the Frank Lampard of the division, only he doesn't come across as a complete twit.

Central Midfield: Asle Andersen (Sandnes Ulf) - Calmness and routine personified, the Sandnes Ulf-player/assistent manager consistently showed that a quick mind can compete with quick legs any day of the week.

Left Midfield: Henrik Furebotn (Sogndal) - Young winger who had a bit of a breakthrough this season, was a big part of Sogndal's late surge.

Striker: Peter Kovacs (Odd Grenland) - Big, slow and ugly as sin, but you can't really argue with 23 goals in 29 games.

Striker: Madiou Konate (Hønefoss) - 10 goals in 19 games for Hønefoss, but was sold and missed out of the last 10 games. Would quite possibly have fired Hønefoss into the Tippeliga if they had kept hold of him.

So there it is. Fjordball would also like to give an honorable mention to Bryne's Allan Borgvardt who has been pretty much their only good performer this season, the forward is the classiest of players and his intelligent play is a joy to watch. Also, Haugesund's DjeDje Victorien is a comedy-genius: He shoots from the most unlikely angles and distances, and you never know if the ball will end up in the top corner or in row Z. Sogndal's 65 year-old striker Håvard Flo continues to defy his birth-certificate, and is still pretty much unstoppable in the air. And lastly, Saprsborg Sparta's Øyvind Hoås, just because he's the Norwegian Peter Crouch.

Round 26: End of the line

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 09:30:00 +0000

So there it is, the 2009 Tippeliga concludes with a final round that wasn't really as exciting as it could have been. From early on it was pretty clear how the relegation-drama was going to end, as Aalesund took command of their battle with Lillestrøm and HamKam fell behind against Molde. Tromsø did the business at home against a Stabæk-side that no doubt had more than half an eye on the upcoming cup final, and in so doing secured third place and some nice and shiny bronze medals. The rest of the games were largely inconsequential, but it's worth nothing Bodø/Glimt's fine display against Rosenborg which saw them leapfrog RBK in the table.

Aalesund 3 - 0 Lillestrøm

Fredrikstad 0 - 2 Lyn

HamKam 0 - 1 Molde

Rosenborg 1 - 3 Bodø/Glimt

Strømsgodset 3 - 2 Viking

Tromsø 1 - 0 Stabæk

Vålerenga 0 - 1 Brann

Good Day

Aalesund

When the cookie was crumbling, the heat was on and the chips were on fire, Aalesund came up with one of their most accomplished performances of the season. Anyone watching saw that this team has no business in the Adeccoliga, there is just too much quality there.

That said, there's a reason why they were in the position they were in, so obviously there's a bit of rubbish there as well. Kjetil Rekdal has quite a job on his hands in the close-season, tidying up the squad and adding players who can give Aalesund the kind of stability they've been lacking.

Assuming they can get past Sogndal in the playoff, that is.

Bodø/Glimt

No one, not even the most rabid, yellow-blooded Bodø/Glimt fan, on LSD, would have predicted Glimt to finish above Rosenborg this season. And what sweeter way to do it than to humiliate them in their own playground? Impressive stuff from the Northerners.

Trond Olsen

Lerkendal is obviously not the fortress it used to be, but the list of players to score a hat-trick there for the opposing team is still a fairly short one. The pacy winger is perfect for Bodø/Glimt devious, counter-attacking ways, and while bigger clubs will probably be interested he'll stay up North if he knows what's good for him.

David Nilsen

Attention-seeking git, but as his two goals and an assist against Viking showed, he's not a bad player.

Lyn

Their run of four straight defeats following the derby-win over Vålerenga raised some doubts about what would happen to Lyn now that Henning Berg has buggered off, but two wins on the spin to end the season will have done much to ensure fans and prospective sponsors that Lyn won't implode after all.

Mons Ivar Mjelde

His last game in charge kinda summed up his tenure: A quite good result but no one really cares, and few will give him any credit for it. It must be a bitter pill to swallow, having to take the blame for the failure of others after lasting longer in the job than any other Brann-manager in the modern era and steering them to their first league title in ages (not to mention a cup win and some other medals).

Tor Hogne Aarøy

Anyone who can beat Frode Kippe in the air without jumping is worth a mention.

Bad Day

HamKam

Irretrievably rubbish. For all their efforts, there were quite simply 13 better teams in the league, and that usually leaves you in 14th place. While Aalesund were knocking the ball around comfortably against Lillestrøm, HamKam were launching long-balls to no one in particular and doing a fine impersonation of an adeccoliga-team against Molde. The difference was there for all to see.

Rosenborg

Whether it was arrogance or just naivety, but Rosenborg did all the things you just can't do against Bodø/Glimt, and they were duly punished. This season's Bodø/Glimt have one tactic: Use pacy wingers to get in behind the opposing defense, a tactic that while quite easily countered is devastating if ignored. And Rosenborg ignored it, kept a high line and sent both fullbacks forward, leaving ample space for Trond Olsen and his ilk to exploit. RBK-fans will feel slightly aggrieved as the home side had the better chances, but ignoring Bodø/Glimt's one and only offensive tactic is unforgivable. The 90ies are over, Rosenborg need to take every opponent seriously if they're going to reclaim the title.

Mad Martin

"Can you afford a repeat of this seasons disappointing tenth place in the league?" reporters asked. But to everyone's bemusement, they weren't asking a Vålerenga board-member or their chairman, with the intention of finding out whether or not Martin Andresen's job was safe, THEY WERE ASKING MARTIN ANDRESEN!?

What do they even mean with "can you afford"? A more pertinent question would be "Martin, you've got one of the largest budgets in the league, you've certainly spent more than almost everyone else, how the hell are you tenth, 24 points of the title-winners?! Will you consider your own position after this fiasco? And will you stop picking yourself, as the team clearly plays better when you're not in it?". Ok, so that was three questions, but they're all valid, and fjordball would like to know.

Aalesund-fans

We here at fjordball-towers have no problem with a bit of Bjørn Helge Riise-bashing, the smarmy little git deserved it, but surely you lot can do better then calling his mother a whore? After all, there are those who would say that such a statement isn't even an insult, but rather stating the obvious (but we're not amongst them, no siree..).

Vålerenga, Brann, Lillestrøm

So much money, so few points. Must do better.

Rune Jarstein

Really, everyone here at fjordball-towers likes this kid and hope he'll grow up to be the keeper Norway hasn't had since Erik the Viking, but he needs to stop screwing up. At this rate he's in severe danger of becoming the next Espen Johnsen. Now there's a thought.

This way for the final standings of the 2008 Tippeliga.

The 2008 Tippeliga may be over, but have no fear, fjordball isn't going on vacation yet. There will pre cup-final previews, and loads of post-season stuff. And awards, oh yes there will be awards. No reason to stop tuning in yet folks.

The Last Ever Preview

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 18:34:00 +0000

Probably not, but we're feeling dramatic here at fjordball-towers tonight. It is after all the last preview of the season. Fittingly, it contains some of the very worst gags yet..

Sunday

Relegation double-whammy:

Aalesund (13th) - Lillestrøm (11th)

HamKam (14th) - Molde (10th)

Here it is, Lillestrøm's chance to make themselves even less popular (if that is even possible) with the average Norwegian fan: They could very well send Aalesund, who many neutrals have a soft spot for, down. Aalesund are just a single point above HamKam, so if they were to lose or draw here and HamKam beat Molde, the tangoshirts are off to the Adeccoliga next season.

And after their pathetic display against Lyn last weekend it's easy to draw the conclusion that this is exactly what will happen. On the other hand, HamKam were equally pathetic against Viking, so who knows. One thing that's worth keeping in mind is that most of Aalesund's points this season has come either at home or at other grounds with artificial turf, so their home-advantage is considerable.

But then there's another potential plot-twist here: Molde are Aalesund's local rivals, and here they could potentially consign their enemy to relegation by losing.. now that's food for thought isn't it?

Draw & Draw (honestly, no one at fjordball-towers has a clue what'll happen here)

Fredrikstad (2nd) - Lyn (7th)

Do YOU have a good 6 million NOK just sitting there in a bank (presumably not an Icelandic one), not attracting a lot of interest (a bit like Rune Lange)? Well, you could be the happy owner of Raymond Kvisvik's house (disclaimer: Raymond Kvisvik sold separately). It looks quite nice too, if a bit on the large side (a bit like.. sorry, we can't resist, a bit like it's former occupant). Here, have a look for yourself.

Home win.

Rosenborg (4th) - Bodø/Glimt (6th)

Upon hearing brownnosing Trond Giske's comments that Rosenborg and other Norwegian clubs should sign less foreigners, RBK's sporting director Erik Hoftun told the pandering politician that he was welcome to drop by and discuss whatever was on his mind. Not wanting to seem like a man who makes bold statements without following up with anything, Giske accepted the offer and announced that his office has arranged a date for him to drop by Rosenborg's hq and waste everyone's time for no good reason. Happy days.

Both teams could be in with a shout of finishing third with a win here, that is if Tromsø drop points at home to Stabæk.

Home win.

Strømsgodset (12th) - Viking (5th)

Viking could also sneak third if they win and results go their way, while Strømsgodset don't have much to play for after Aalesund and HamKam's ineptitude last weekend ensured that they boys from Drammen will stay to fight another season in this most glamorous of leagues.

And speaking of glamour, Strømsgodset's attention-seeker and occasional striker David Nielsen, on loan from Danish side OB, has written an autobiography. Or, someone has written it for him, as the man himself probably doesn't know the alphabet. In his book Nielsen claims that he once tried to lose a game on purpose and that he once tried to break Viking-midfielder Allan Gaarde's legs in training when they were at AaB together, because he spoke Italian. These revelations, and the fact that David Nielsen is a bit rubbish, has led to OB announcing that they don't want him to come back when his loan-spell at Strømsgodset is finished. The man himself claims he's just being honest, which isn't the best excuse really.

The book, entitled "Black Swine", probably isn't available in a bookstore near you, and if it is we here at fjordball-towers suggest you give it a miss and spend your time doing something more interesting, like watching paint dry or a DVD-recording of HamKam - Strømsgodset.

Away win.

Tromsø (3rd) - Stabæk (1st)

If Tromsø hadn't collapsed like an Icelandic bank in the latter stage of their league campaign, this could have the title-decider. As it happens, it'll only decide whether or not Tromsø will come third, which isn't all that interesting.

Stabæk have already won the league and they might rest a few players before the upcoming cup final against Vålerenga.

Draw.

Vålerenga (9th) - Brann (8th)

Both have spent far too much money to be where they are in the standings. But here we are, after 25 games they're both on a pretty pathetic 30 points, just over half of Stabæk's total tally and much closer to the relegation-zone than the title-fight. Embarrassing stuff for both.

Draw.

The Noble Art Brownnosing

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 16:51:00 +0000

Fjordball learned at an early age that saying "Yum yum, dinner is good" at the family dinner-table drastically increases your odds of getting dessert, a lesson which has also proved ever so useful in later domestic life (wink wink, nudge nudge).

Having perfected the technique and made ourselves experts in this particular field, we recognize brownnosing when we see it. And so we say to you Trond Giske (Minister of Culture, nicknamed "the party minister" for, well, partying and "the turbo minister" for no obvious reason): You sir, are a sycophant of the highest order.

You see, the big cheeses of Norwegian and Swedish football have decided to explore the possibility of lodging a bid for the 2016 European Championships, and idea that if nothing else is less insane than Tromsø's doomed, deranged and utterly bonkers bid for the 2018 Winter Olympics. So, the turbo minister (if in doubt, go for the random one, random is always good) went to visit UEFA's supreme overlord Michel Platini, as you do.

Now, as those of us who follow international club football will have noticed, Michel Platini has made it a big part of his agenda to try and decrease the number of players who move abroad, arguing that football teams full for foreigners will lose their "identity" and connection the local community. This in itself is an interesting stance for a Frenchman who spent the best years of his career playing in Italy, but the point is: Platini think clubs should try to keep it local.

So, what do you think turbo minister Giske, who wouldn't mind a bit of dessert from Platini, told the world after their meeting?

"When Rosenborg beat Ac Milan at San Siro there were 11 Norwegians on the pitch. Most of them were from Trønderlag or Northern Norway. That key players come from the club's area is important to the club's identity."

Well done sir, well done.

Adecco-update

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:22:00 +0000

With the end really rather night in both the Tippeliga and the Adeccoliga there is still some excitement left.. but not a lot..

Because the big top of the table clash between Odd and Start was, when you look at it, a bit of a pointless exercise as both are guaranteed promotion. A 3-2 win in Odd's favor and a solid overall performance for the hosts does however give another indication that they're the team that at the moment look best equipped to take on the Tippeliga next season.

Sandefjord are also guaranteed promotion but that didn't stop them giving Kongsvinger a 3-0 spanking, with the latter team not really giving a crap seeing as they won't go down now whatever happens.

There is however much excitement surrounding the battle for the playoff-spot, with Sogndal still occupying it after a convincing 4-0 win over Løv-Ham. Hønefoss could still sneak in next weekend though, as their 1-0 win over Sarpsborg Sparta means they are just one point behind Sogndal.

Down in the relegation-battle Alta did unspeakable things to Hødd, and when the dust settled the score was a whopping 7-2. The win puts Alta in prime position to stay up, seeing as Sandnes Ulf lost 4-2 at home to Haugesund. Sandnes Ulf had a remarkably good first half of the season but have completely run out of steam and look destined for the drop.

Arguably the biggest underachievers this season Bryne look determined to end their season on a high, and recorded an impressive(ish) 2-1 away win against Moss.

And lastly, Notodden beat NIL-Trysil 1-0. Not a lot to say about that one.

In the news this week, Start-manager Arne Sandstø had a bit of a pop at the club for not really knowing what they wanted in life and not having a clear set of goals. The statement caused considerably annoyance among the Start bigwigs, who felt Sandstø shouldn't say that kind of thing publicly.

It's a weird thing to say for manager, even if it's true, considering the club he's in charge of just escaped bankruptcy by the narrowest of margins. You'd think he'd pipe down and let guys in charge get on with getting the club back into shape. On the other hand, Sandstø seems to be a remarkably unpopular figure at Start even though he did comfortably lead the club to promotion this season, with one local paper insinuating that he should be sacked (for what reason, fjordball isn't quite sure).

But hey, those of us who spend our time writing about Norwegian football will welcome Start back to the Tippeliga next season with open arms, as there's seemingly always something going on at the club, for better or worse.

Round 25: Damn you, Henning Berg!

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:21:00 +0000

Just when Lillestrøm were hurtling towards the abyss and looked set for an all-important last round-showdown with Aalesund, next season's LSK-manager Henning Berg starts his work early and pulls out a cracking result. Bastard!

Stabæk for their part celebrated their first ever title by humping a quite staggeringly poor Vålerenga-side 6-2 in their last ever game at Nadderud, Fredrikstad secured their place as runners-up with a win in Molde while relegation-battlers Aalesund and HamKam both put in thoroughly hapless performances against teams with very little to play for.

Bodø/Glimt 3 - 2 Strømsgodset

Brann 1 - 1 Tromsø

Lillestrøm 4 - 2 Rosenborg

Lyn 3 - 0 Aalesund

Molde 1 - 2 Fredrikstad

Stabæk 6 - 2 Vålerenga

Viking 3 - 0 HamKam

Good day

Lillestrøm

Stabæk may have dismantled Vålerenga and celebrated their first championship in their last ever game at Nadderud, but the real winners this weekend were Lillestrøm. Showing the kind of team-spirit and belief that's been lacking at Åråsen all season they came from behind twice to beat an in-form Rosenborg team. Annoyingly, this was probably just a glimpse of what Henning Berg will be able to do with Lillestrøm, and with such a competent man at the helm the thugs from Romerike should be a real force next season.

Berg: Annoyingly competent

Stabæk

Stabæk-guru Ingebrigt Steen-Jensen summed it all up brilliantly: "We've won the most games, we've lost the fewest, we've scored the most goals, we've conceded the fewest, we've got the top-scorer, we've got second top-scorer, we've got the top assister, we've got the fewest yellow cards. This is fucking well deserved."

Also, beating their upcoming cup-final opponents 6-2 will have given them a bit of a psychological edge for that game, to put it mildly.

Stabæk-fans: Yes, they do exist, especially when Stabæk win the league

Fredrikstad

For a team expected to be in mid-table, who had to sell their star striker midway through the season and have had an ongoing feud with their captain and best midfielder, finishing runners up is one hell of an accomplishment.

Viking

Well look at that, they do have a bit of pride after all. While most of the attention was on departing skipper Nicolai Stockholm it was the younger players like Fillo, Nisja, Danielsen and Steenslid who carried Viking here and showed the home-crowd that they have every reason to be optimistic about next season.

Tommy Høiland

The 19 year old Viking-striker was once touted as one of the most exiting prospects in Norway, and after a few difficult seasons he is starting to look like his development is back on track. A natural finisher with a combative and somewhat nasty playing-style, he'll give keepers and defenders plenty of reason to worry (in every sense of the word) next season if he's given playing-time.

Høiland: One to watch out for, especially if you're a goalkeeper

Bodø/Glimt

A good win at home against Strømsgodset means the Northerners still have a chance of grabbing an unlikely medal and a place in Europe.

Bad Day

Aalesund

According to manager Kjetil Rekdal they would have lost against Hødd the way they played against Lyn. No one here at fjordball-towers had anything to add to that summary.

HamKam

Rubbish.

Rosenborg

Ok, so they were on the receiving end of a quite unexpected Lillestrøm-revival, but still, it was another example of a game they on paper really should have won but didn't. For every such result the argument that Rosenborg will never be consistent playing the way Hamrén wants them to play starts to carry ever more weight, and it will be very interesting to see how they do next season.

Vålerenga & Mad Martin Andresen

Amidst all the celebrations and rightful praise for the wonderfulness that is the 2008-edition of Stabæk, the Norwegian press seems to have forgotten to ask this one question: What the hell is going on with Vålerenga?

They have won two out of their last TWELVE games in the league, and for a club with their resources that is clearly not acceptable. Mad Martin earlier in the season said that the league wasn't important this year, that it was all about developing the team and working on the way they want to play, but really, can anyone see any sort of improvement or development in Vålerenga's football over the last six months? Anyone?

Getting dismantled 6-2 by their opponents in the upcoming cup-final won't do much for their confidence either.

Would any other person still be in a job as VIF-manager with results like that, after having spent the money they have this season? Not very likely.

The Preview That Exists, But Hasn't Been Punched In The Face Lately

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 11:44:00 +0000

Sunday

Bodø/Glimt (6th) - Strømsgodset (11th)

Bodø/Glimt's season has been a remarkable success-story, but recently they haven't really looked like match they very high standards they set in the first half of the season (one point in the last three games isn't all that impressive). Strømsgodset have once again managed to stay well clear of national attention this week, and if nothing else they are a shoe-in for the "most unremarkable team of the season"-award.

Home win.

Brann (9th) - Tromsø (3th)

The battle of the outgoing managers. Mons Ivar Mjelde, Brann's most successful coach in the modern era, has been told by his board to bugger off, while in the other end Steinar Nilsen has decided to leave Tromsø in search of a more high-profile gig. The departing Tromsø-hero isn't going to pack his bags quietly though, and in an interview this week he branded Tromsø, his hometown, as a city of losers. "We just don't like creating winners," he said, referring to infamous "jante law" which is such a huge part of the Norwegian mentality.

Draw.

Lillestrøm (12th) - Rosenborg (4th)

Arguably the most interesting game of the week, as defeat for Lillestrøm could leave them on the brink of relegation (which would have the rest of Norway popping our collective corks).

It's been a bit of a rubbish week for Rosenborg's Øyvind Storflor. First there was that whole question of whether or not he exists (which we here at fjordball-towers don't think we've gotten enough credit for, btw), and then today he was given a rather harsh reminder that he does in fact exist when he was punched in the head by his own teammate.

Away win (please, pretty please).

Lyn (7th) - Aalesund (13th)

Punters, pay attention now: This is one of them "Good team with nothing to play for versus rubbish team with everything to play for"-things that you can make a bit of money on. Lyn have now lost four in a row, though to be fair they were unlucky last week against HamKam. Aalesund on the other hand have won two in a row, and Kjetil Rekdal seems to have sparked a much needed revival. On the other hand they do have a dreadful away-record this season (2-1-9), something you should keep in mind before you risk your hard-earned moolah.

Away win.

Molde (10th) - Fredrikstad (2nd)

After the roaring success of last week's wikipedia-edit the wiki-experts here at fjordball-towers are feeling a bit of pressure. Having previously revealed Azar Karadas' former occupation, Uwe Rösler's philosophical side and calling national attention to the mystery that is Øyvind Storflor, where do we go from here?

Truth is we probably can't top last week, so we're not going to try. Also, we're in a bit of a hurry, so this week we're just going to go with a cheeky re-direct, revealing Fredrikstad-winger and fjordball-favorite Raymond Kvisvik's true identity.

Here it is, the truth about the chubby one (which actually goes some way towards explaining his constant financial woes)

Home win.

Stabæk (1st) - Vålerenga (8th)

This should be interesting: A dress-rehearsal for the upcoming cup-final. We're guessing it'll go the same way as the cup-final will, by quite some margin.

Home win.

Viking (5th) - HamKam (14th)

Like Aalesund, HamKam are also enjoying a timely if somewhat inexplicable revival. Still, they are really rather rubbish and if Viking have even a wee bit of pride they'll get their groove on and easily dispose of the bottom-dwellers in front of their home-crowd. But then again, do they have a wee bit of pride? Here at fjordball-towers we're not too sure.

Draw.

Adecco-update

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:57:00 +0000

Like a dodgy kebab on a Saturday night, it appears that in the Adeccoliga what comes down must go straight back up again..

Because this weekend saw Sandefjord and Start both ensured that they will be joining Odd in the 2009 Tippeliga. Sandefjord did so by beating Notodden 1-0, while a draw was enough for Start who were held to a 1-1 stalemate by Sogndal.

Odd have already booked their place, but look determined to end the season on a high as they came up with a 3-2 away to Løv-Ham.

In the other end of the table Kongsvinger are seemingly out of the woods with an impressive 1-0 win away at Haugesund, while Bryne also went a long way towards securing their status in the league by battering local rivals Sandnes Ulf 4-0.

These results would have left Alta in deep doo-doo, but they rose to the occasion and produced a fine 3-2 away-win against Sarpsborg Sparta to keep their hopes of staying up alive.

Playoff-chasing Hønefoss were in no mood for charity and easily disposed of utterly doomed Ulsteinvik-outfit Hødd, who once again shot themselves in the foot by getting a player sent off at an early stage in the game. The 1-0 scoreline was more a testament to Hønefoss' impotent forwardline than anything else.

And finally, in an utterly inconsequential mid-table tussle, NIL-Trysil were given a right spanking by Moss and lost 5-0 at home.

Updated league table here.

In the news this week, obviously, Start and Sandefjord are both officially back in the big-time. Interestingly the two teams have the exact same record after 28 games (16-8-4), while the way they went about it was very much polar opposites: Start started superbly but tailed off near the end of the season while Sandefjord started the season disastrously but picked themselves up with a successful change of manager.

Looking at their squads both teams will be amongst the most obvious candidates to go straight back down again next season unless their squads are heavily strengthened, but at least Start for their part have a lot of young players who will have learned a lot this season and who might step up to the plate. Their finances are a bit buggered though, so the it'll take some shrewd dealings by their Sporting Director if they are going to add some much needed top-flight experience to the side.

Good luck to them both anyway. Start are clearly a club who belong in the top division, and while we here at fjordball-towers aren't quite convinced by Sandefjord they've certainly earned their right to be there after a superb run of form.

Could It Be?

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:23:00 +0000

Vålerenga 3 - 1 Lillestrøm

Sundgot: Oh noes!

When something seems too good to be true it usually isn't, one of life's age-old lessons and one many of us here at fjordball-towers have learned the hard way. This is why, when Lillestrøm were bloody awful earlier in the season and looked very much like a team heading for the abyss, we didn't get out hopes up. They were always going to come good, one way or the other.

In a way they did, but then it all started going pear-shaped again. And with two games left of the season, Lillestrøm are staring relegation square in the face. After a limp and gutless performance against bitter rivals Vålerenga they are just three points ahead of Aalesund and four ahead of HamKam, and both those teams are winning games.

It wasn't as much the defeat as the nature of the defeat that will have given LSK-fans reason to fret: There was no fight, no intensity, none of the usual physical thuggery you expect from Lillestrøm. And really, when you think about it, if they haven't got that what do they have? They're not exactly a particularly talented side, thuggery is usually the main basis of their results.

Lillestrøm's last two games this season are against in-form Rosenborg and, wait for it, Aalesund. That's right. Provided Aalesund can overcome a Lyn-side with nothing to play for next week, Lillestrøm must get a win against Rosenborg to avoid the last game becoming a straight fight to avoid the playoff place. Or worse, if HamKam keep winning as well that last game could well be a fight to avoid direct relegation.

Just when you thought it was all sorted (Stabæk win the league and Aalesund and HamKam battle it out for the playoff place), it turns out the Tippeliga has another sting of intrigue in its tail.

We love it. Particularly if Lillestrøm go down.

Round 24: Stabæk Kinda Win The League, Fjordball Kinda Make Headlines

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:11:00 +0000

A late winner from random Icelandic bloke Palmi Rafn Palmason ensured that Stabæk are, barring an absolute miracle, Norwegian Champions. A cheeky free-kick from that man Raymond Kvisvik was enough to dispose of Viking, which probably means Fredrikstad are heading for second place as Tromsø were held to an unexpected 4-4 draw by Molde. Relegation-rivals HamKam and Aalesund both won their games so no changes there, while Rosenborg's late charge for a top 3-finish suffered a bit of a blow as they were held by Strømsgodset.

Hilariously, this Friday's weekly wikipedia-edit caught the eye of the Norwegian media, and in fact made the front-page of Adressa's web-edition for a while this morning. Under the headline "Does Storflor actually exist?" the paper tells the tale of this particular piece of mischievous misinformation. Here at fjordball-towers we're all just too happy to help the struggling journalists of this great country come up with new and interesting stories.

Round 24:

Tromsø 4 - 4 Molde

Aalesund 1 - 0 Bodø/Glimt

Fredrikstad 1 - 0 Viking

HamKam 3 - 2 Lyn

Rosenborg 1 - 1 Strømsgodset

Brann 1 - 2 Stabæk

Updated table here.

Good Day

Stabæk

Worthy winners of the 2008 Tippeliga. There really isn't much more left to say about them. They've scored more goals than anyone else, conceded fewer and played better football than any other team. A thoroughly comprehensive and deserved title. The best thing since sliced bread (or indeed Eggen's RBK) says Otto Ulseth, while an ecstatic Esten O. Sæther claims that everybody loves Stabæk. It's not all that far from the truth. Talismanic forward Daniel Nannskog is confident that his team will win their upcoming cup-final against Vålerenga as well, and it would take a brave man to bet against them.

Raymond Kvisvik

The Man is back. Fjordball's favorite overweight winger put in one of the most complete performances of his career as Fredrikstad disposed of Viking with surprising ease. With a cool head and an unfailing eye for a pass, Kvisvik kept FFK's midfield ticking and kept Viking's defense on their toes all game, and to top it all off he scored the match-winner with a cheeky free-kick.

Espen Johnsen

Had one of those games, and was the only reason why Strømsgodset left Lerkendal with a point. Johnsen is surely the most frustrating keeper in recent history, because when he is on song he is quite remarkably good, but will he ever be able to perform like that consistently?

Pape Pate Diouf

Before this weekend Tromsø had only conceded four goals on home turf all season, but then Diouf went and scored a hat-trick. Impressive.

Aalesund & HamKam

Both won, but since they are competing mainly with each other that didn't really do much for either team.

Bad Day

Tromsø

One point in the last three games is depressing stuff for a team who risked their economic stability for a shot at the title, and their poor form means they might not even make the top 3. The news this morning that manager Steinar Nielsen will be leaving his post after the season weren't exactly unexpected, but none the less it makes for a depressing end to a fine season for the Northerners.

Kåre Ingebrigtsen

Calm down man! The Bodø/Glimt-manager had a right pop at referee Tom Henning Øvrebø after his team succumbed to Aalesund. For once the criticism was totally unwarranted, and one suspects that Ingebrigtsen is just frustrated that, like Tromsø, Bodø/Glimt's poor end to the season has ruined their chances of silverware this season. In which case the man should shut up and accept that finishing in the top-end of the table is a remarkable achievement in itself for Bodø/Glimt.

Viking

Losing away against Fredrikstad is nothing to be ashamed of (FFK have the best home-record in the league), but by all accounts Viking didn't really turn up, and there's no excuse for that.

Lyn

Have picked up a grand total of zero points since their derby-win over Vålerenga. Four defeats in row isn't acceptable, even if you don't have a lot to play for.

The Preview That Thinks Playing Nintendo Wii Until Six In The Morning Is Perfectly Acceptable Behavior

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:46:00 +0000

..not to mention the kebab-breakfast. Yummy.

Saturday

Tromsø (3rd) - Molde (10th)

The Norwegian Football Association are none too impressed with the way Tromsø are handling their economy these days, the Northerners were supposed to sell 16 million worth of players this summer to make their numbers add up but instead they kept their players and took up some more loans. They could sort it all out in a jiffy by selling Tore Reginiussen, which is probably what will happen.

Home win.

Sunday

Aalesund (13th) - Bodø/Glimt (6th)

A bit of a must win for Rekdal's relegation-battlers, and at home against a Bodø/Glimt-side who don't have a whole lot to play for you've gotta fancy them to do just that.

Home win.

Fredrikstad (2nd) - Viking (5th)

Viking-captain Nicolai Stockholm has decided to leave the club when his contract expires at the end of the season, but considering he is now on the wrong side of 30 and has had a pretty poor season Herr Uwe probably won't be losing any sleep over his departure.

Fredrikstad for their part have according to manager Anders Grönhagen not given up hope of winning the title, but with a six point-gap between themselves and Stabæk with three games left to play you'd have to be Raymond Kvisvik to put money of them to do so.

Home win.

HamKam (14th) - Lyn (7th)

Dark days for HamKam (as usual), back at the bottom of the table and this week it also emerged that their talented young striker Marcus Pedersen will leave the club on a free transfer after the season is over.

Draw.

Rosenborg (4th) - Strømsgodset (12th)

This weekend's wikipedia-edit is altogether more subtle than the two previous ones. From the entry of Øyvind Storflor:

Øyvind Storflor (born 18 December 1979 in Trondheim) is a rumored Norwegian football player, reportedly playing for Rosenborg BK. However there are some who claim that Storflor doesn't exist, and that sightings of him have in fact been optical illusions.

According to urban legend he made his debut for Rosenborg in 1999. In 2000 he was loaned out for Byåsen IL, and in 2001 he was sold to Moss FK for 500 000 Norwegian kroner (NOK). In January 2003, Storflor returned to Rosenborg for NOK 1,000,000. An investigation has been launched in an attempt to verify these claims.

Strømsgodset IF have secured his services for the 2009, and should the investigation discover that he does in fact not exist they will be rather cross.

The interesting thing is that the article has as many references now as it did before wiki-experts here at fjordball-towers went to work, so who is to say what is true and what isn't?

Home win.

Brann (8th) - Stabæk (1st)

Last season Brann had the most lethal striker in the league up front, an inspirational leader and excellent ball-distributor in the middle and a shrewd manager at the helm.

Now they have Eirik Bakke.

Away win.

Monday

Vålerenga (9th) - Lillestrøm (11th)

Next season's management-team at Circus Åråsen is starting to take shape with the news that Andre Bergdølmo and Petter Belsvik will be joining Henning Berg's coaching-staff. At fjordball-towers we're all a bit worried that so many seemingly competent people are converging at Lillestrøm, maybe they'll actually be good next season. Come on, nobody wants that.

Draw.

"I'll never [surrender a year's worth of wages in a dignified act of martyrdom]!"

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:24:00 +0000

Norway 0 - 1 Holland (Mark Van Bommel)

"No commentator or football-journalist gets to tell me that I have to quit, you don't decide that," Åge Hareide said, before punching Bertil Valderhaug in the face and moonwalking out of the room singing "I will survive" in a hitherto unheard of falsetto voice.

Ok, ok, that last part may not have actually happened, but it would have been one hell of a press conference.

To be fair to him, Åge Hareide played it by the book. When you face a team like Holland who score many if not most of their goals on the break then obviously you'll want to defend deep, stay compact and be very cautious when sending people forward.

Still there was something deeply depressing about the way Norway was set up last night. Hareide has been spewing lofty rhetoric ever since his appointment, talking about creating "proud moments" and whatnot. Where was that sense of pride when Hareide, when push came to shove, decided to split the promising-looking partnership of Iversen and Carew, stick Iversen out wide and go for a conservative 4-5-1 at home?

Hareide: As long as he knows how to love he knows he'll stay alive

As it turns out, lofty rhetoric goes out the window when the going gets tough. But this half-assed approach, this wish to play a more expansive game but when the heat is on not having the testicular fortitude to stick with that philosophy, is a damning indictment of Hareide's reign.

In his third and final qualifying-campaign when he has nothing to lose and can do anything he wants to, Hareide chooses the careful, pragmatic, sensible path. Bengt Eriksen, that witless gimp, is right (which in itself may well cause the universe to implode, so watch out): There was too much sense and not enough madness in last night's Norwegian performance.

But hey, as it turns out, the Norwegian football association and their incredibly creepy-looking president Sondre Kåfjord doesn't think going a full calendar-year without a win and being bottom of our qualifying-group is cause for concern, so everything must be alright then.

Taxing Times For Norway

noreply@blogger.com (fjordball) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 10:24:00 +0000

Today the Norwegian newspapers were dominated by one particularly distasteful Norwegian ritual: The publishing of people's earnings. That's right, once a year what people earn and what they pay in taxes is made public by the government, and there is much rejoicing.

As always there are stories about how Mad Martin Andresen, heir to the Skeidar furniture-empire, is the wealthiest player in the national team (guys like Riise and Gamst Pedersen don't show up on the lists as they pay their taxes abroad), and as always there are chuckles at the massive gulf between the earnings of some members of the national squad and someone like Big John Carew.

At fjordball-towers the news that Erik Huseklepp made five times as much as Tarik Elyounoussi last year was greeted by hysterical laughter and an overwhelming sense of pity for Brann's accountants, while the more cruel members of the editorial staff had to be restrained from looking up Bengt Eriksen's income and making undignified remarks comparing his abilities as a pundit to those of a deranged hedgehog.

Huseklepp: Why?

For those who are able to tear their attentions away from these fascinating financial facts, there's a game on tonight and it's really rather important.

"Mini" Jakobsen, a pundit who has taken the noble art of being wrong to a whole new level, has revealed what tonight's lineup certainly won't be by giving us his two-cents: "Holland obviously have some star players, and nobody expects us to win. I still think we have a good chance to take three points if we play similar to the way we did against Scotland," he told VG before going on to suggest a very different formation and lineup to the one that faced Scotland. It takes a special kind of stupidity to suggest taking on Holland with both a holding midfielder and an attacking midfielder who has hardly ever played that position before.

Mini's Norway: What you're not likely to see tonight

What looks altogether more likely to happen is a flat midfield four with Christian Grindheim partnered by Henning Hauger in the middle, with Morten Gamst Pedersen on the right and Fredrik Winsnes on the left. The general idea being that the hard-working duo of Hauger and Grindheim will try to close down the Dutch and deny them space while Winsnes and Gamst Pedersen will provide accurate delivery from the flanks.

A good plan theoretically, but then again a good plan isn't always enough. Especially if you're playing a vastly superior team.