Flat-out Blog!

Kim Jon Il reveals North Korea’s new plan for World Domination; Soccer!

2010-06-16T23:51:00.002-04:00

Pictures released of North Korea’s new soccer training facilities.

By AfricanLegend.
North Korea performed admirably against five time world champions Brazil at World Cup 2010 in South Africa, where North Korea were impressively beaten 2-1. How is it that North Korea, known to most people as a military state conspiring to manufacture nuclear weapons, managed to put together a decent team?

Following the match Kim Jong Il issued a statement in the one North Korean newspaper named “The Kim Jong Il Times” explaining North Korea’s new plan for World domination.

“It was a good performance by the soldiers, they know what is at stake. If they not win, this will be the last World Cup for them. I already have 22 replacements lined up. Failure is not acceptable!” said Kim Jong Il as he slurped down his Mocha Latte Frappuccino.

“People think all we do in North Korea is make nuclear weapons. That’s not true. We realized we not good at that. In fact we [suck]. Missiles keep falling in ocean or missing their target. Justin Beiber is very annoying so we tried to launch missile to his house but unfortunately we hit South Korea. This was not our intention and the guy that shot those missiles was executed. We decided the best plan to conquer the world was to build bad ass soccer team. To emphasize our new commitment to non-violent world domination, we have released satellite pictures to the Evil Infidels of the West (citation: Guide to Terrorist Vocab, pg 12)”

FLAT-OUT cute!

2010-02-22T11:12:00.000-05:00

In other news, Kanye West marries Sarah Jessica Parker....

"Hope they don't drive themselves bananas."

FLAT-OUT Genius!

2010-02-17T20:30:00.000-05:00

Regardless of your belief in whether or not we evolved from lower primates like monkeys, you have to give these animals credit. In this instance they quickly ascertained that the sudden drop in food supply was directly related to the sign placed in front of their cages...

MONKEY..

SEE..

MONKEY...DO!!!

FLAT-OUT SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!

2010-02-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

You saw it here on Flat-out blog. Boston is under many feet of snow.....This guy barely made it out! Watch coverage of the epic snow fall that has sent many Boston residents running for the hills!!

FLAT-OUT Untrustworthy Source!

2010-02-10T11:59:00.002-05:00

My advice is don't believe this joker!

FLAT-OUT Genius

2010-02-09T16:50:00.002-05:00

Superbowl advertisements are things that get even the American football un-enthusiasts excited. The hope of viewing the funniest, most lively commercial of year should be expected since they cast about $3 million for a 30 second slot. Instead, we are lampooned with one disappointing advertisement after another as companies flush money down a digital toilet.

However, sometimes simplicity is genius. While Bud-light continues to mock it's customers with possibly the most stupid ads in the milky way, Google produced a simply advertisement that I thought was genius. They didn't even use a funny looking guy or a dog!

FLAT-OUT Unacceptible!

2010-02-08T09:35:00.000-05:00

I don't mind when people flood my wall with pointless facebook applications. Usually it is just a poor way of reminding someone that you are thinking of them or perhaps you were too lazy to hit the "Skip this step" button in the "Share this app with friends" sections.

Either way, NO MAN should send another man SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!!!

Absurd!! I really hate PINK!

FLAT-OUT Pure JOY!!!!

2010-02-06T00:30:00.001-05:00

I can actually understand thie man's joy...

He may not be ready to be a father but he sure has some pretty fine dance moves!!

FLAT-OUT from the heart!

2010-02-05T13:59:00.001-05:00

Need a new heart? Take advantage of our Valentine's Day Special with brand new hearts as low as $975,000. Get yours now from http://theunioncares.com.

HAHA! This site is funny on so many levels.

FLAT-OUT Funny!

2010-02-02T12:23:00.004-05:00

I was watching FOX News and for a moment I thought they were talking about another planet other than earth. SO....LET'S CALL THEM...........

hahah

FLAT-OUT Pimpin!

2010-02-02T11:40:00.002-05:00

It's official, President Kennedy was the OG White House pimp. In fact recently, Bill Clinton admitted to reading Kennedy's book "White House Shenanigans: Volume 1" but went on to mention he did not read the last few chapters.

That's probably explains why Clinton got caught.

Three cheers for Political Pimping, it makes news more interesting!

FLAT-OUT Never drink and Steal!

2010-01-30T17:29:00.000-05:00

Don't "Drink and Steal!"

In fairness, he did get the job half way done...he just lacked an exit strategy.

FLAT-OUT High School Drama!

2010-01-29T17:06:00.002-05:00

I have heard of high school beef but the senior class (4rth years) girls compiling a list of freshmen girls (1st years) and titling it "The Slut List" is going a little overboard.

What do you have to do to make that list anyway.

I'm all about equality...SO...why not make "The Douchebag List" for guys? Then they can make people on both lists go to prom together (just thinking outside the box).

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THESE SCHOOLS?

FLAT-OUT embarrassing to black people because we made it.

2010-01-29T14:36:00.001-05:00

MO MONEY TAXES!
I saw this advertisement on TV a few times. I laughed the first 10 or so times that I saw it, then it occurred to me that I had forgotten to be offended. So, I am offended now. Officially!

The most offensive part is probably the white woman doing the "Ghetto Black Woman" impression.

"I heard there's a place that can get you YO check in 30 seconds"

Shame on you black person that made this!!

Watch it and weep! Or laugh...

FLAT-OUT Unlucky!

2010-01-29T12:31:00.001-05:00

This is just a case of us being in the WRONG place at the WRONG time!

FLAT-OUT munchies!

2010-01-29T00:55:00.001-05:00

Honestly, I always felt people should have given Michael a break but after he appeared in a subway commercial advertising food, I simply could not resist!

FLAT-OUT prepared for ANYTHING!

2010-01-28T22:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to google, you can be sure that what ever forces of darkness attack you in the dead of night, you will certainly be prepared.

FLAT-OUT Awesome!

2010-01-28T16:04:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney = Brilliant!!

Dance Tonight Video

FLAT-OUT waaay to literal!

2010-01-28T15:41:00.000-05:00

Be careful what you ask for. Some day you may just end with more than you bargained for HAHA!

As for the guy, I doubt he ever saw this coming. (Ok that was bad!!)

FLAT-OUT lack of attention to detail.

2010-01-28T11:56:00.000-05:00

After listening to President Obama's State of the Union address, CNN Reporter Chris Mathews was quoted to have said,

“I forgot he was black tonight for an hour…I said wait a minute, he’s an African American guy in front of a bunch of other white people…”

I am disturbed at his one hour of absentmindedness, yet humored.

Just an hour? Did he then snap out of it? Did Obama's blackness return to clobber him over the head like a night stick?

As for the US forgetting but his race, that might just be FLAT-OUT Delusional.

(See Video)

NB: OBAMA IS AFRICAN, WE'RE CLAIMING HIM....TILL HE MESSES UP...THEN THE US CAN HAVE HIM BACK.

FLAT-OUT Prepared for ANYTHING!

2010-01-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

Now this guy is flat-out prepared for ANYTHING! I'd hate to be knocking at his door selling girl scout cookies....This is taking the right to bare arms a little too far.

"Ladies! Would you date this guy??"

FLAT-OUT Dumb!

2010-01-27T22:44:00.001-05:00

Steve Jobs you are a genius...but making a big ass i-phone is just FLAT-OUT DUMB!!!

Read a book instead.

FLAT-OUT Hustle

2010-01-27T22:43:00.000-05:00

"King of the Hustle...unfortunately they flat-out caught him." :-(

The "VuvuZela": FLAT-OUT Annoying, yet awesome!

2010-01-27T22:41:00.000-05:00

The most annoying instrument in all sport.....but it's FLAT-OUT AWESOME!!

Shosholoza!!

FLAT-OUT Overconfident!

2010-01-27T20:55:00.000-05:00

"TRUST ME...there is NO way this ship will sink!"