Never a Dull Moment

Update on Princess

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 20:38:00 +0000

Past/Future emailed me a picture of Princess in the car with the caption " Princess and I begin our journey to our new home!"

Yay!

Computer for the first time today

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:22:00 +0000

i got up motivated to clean Dominyk and Wilson's room. I figured it would take 30-45 minutes. Try 2 hours and 40 minutes. Sigh. Five huge bags of garbage. And this is a room that has been cleaned weekly by their definition.

Then we had a family meeting. We are facing several major transitions in the next several months, so we needed to plan for that. Tony will be home soon, and Salinda soon after that it appears, though she may change her mind We have to figure out as a family what kind of chance to provide for John.

John has been given a Stay of Adjudication. He has not had a violent episode in over 2 years. He has been very stable. We contemplated renting an apartment for him, but just simply cannot afford to do so at this time. So we are talking about him moving in with limited rules (rules and Conduct Disorder don't go well) until he can afford an apartment. He is very motivated at this time to do what he is supposed to do. Mike was given 3 different "last chances" and he messed them up, but that doesn't mean that John shouldn't be given one. He was home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, several weekends and Easter and did fine.

I will leave that with you ... for now. Because we're going out to lunch. So I'll let you know the rest of the story then.

The Dream Never Dies...

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 12:23:00 +0000

Cindy got me thinking this morning as, in her typical style, she meandered through her thoughts jumping from one thing to another as she blogs. (And if you're curious, she talks that way too.... just sort of gives people around her a trolley tour of her very active brain as she sits and visits). But I digress. Like her. Anyway today she was thinking about all the possible careers she could have had and that got me going.

I am one of those people who just absolutely loves what I do. In fact, I love everything so much that I can't stop doing all of it. Right now I am in the middle of so many projects. I was going to list them all. In fact I started, but then I knew I was going to get comments about how I could possibly do all those things and still be a good parent.

Well, my first response is that I never said I was a good parent.

But secondly, we have a pretty good system around here. Most of the kids are teenagers or adults and they really don't want me overly involved in their business. The ones who are living at home this summer are very appropriate and doing what they are supposed to be doing. They have been awesome. Plus, they have a nurturing and involved Dad AND I include them in a lot of what I do. Sadie is in a couple of the groups with me. When I go on trips, I take one or two sometimes. We eat meals together as a family and I am here and available to them most of the time.

Anyway, a defense of my lifestyle (where did THAT come from) wasn't my intention. I simply wanted to say this.

I love everything I'm doing. I am energized and motivated by almost everything I get to do each day (except housecleaning and laundry). I like being in the middle of many things and impress myself with my ability to juggle them all.

But sometimes when I'm driving (the only time I actually process anything and think) I think about all the things I would have loved to have done with my life. All the things I still wish I could do. I would love to learn to be an excellent photographer. I could totally get into a career of web design, expanding my knowledge for that. I have wanted to be in involved in inner-city ministry for years, living in the slums even, and attempting to touch people there. I could easily spend a lifetime in another country as a missionary.

The kids are bugging us to adopt again, especially Sadie. She even offered to help pay for background checks, which all the sudden are $70 a pop in MN for everyone over 14 -- which means just to get started on an update would cost us $630. I don't know that we'll adopt again, but I could easily see us someday opening our home to more teenagers. I'm finding that now that I've figured out the key to parenting them (you can't control them, no matter what you do, so instruct, consequence, and observe -- but treat it like a movie that you're watching, and enjoy seeing how the plot unfolds). Parenting teens by attempting to control them is as foolish as sitting watching a movie and thinking that by your own will power you can change then ending.

hey, that's good. I just thought of that. I am going to have to quote myself on that one. Often.

Anyway....

Life is so amazing and so full of opportunity. I have a very hard time understanding those who walk around with their heads to the ground muttering something about dreams not coming true.... There's always a way to overcome, always a way to make something happen... you just gotta find a way. And there's always a way. Dreams never have to die. Sometimes they have to be altered or a new path found, but a dream can live on.

This blog post is never going to end if I don't stop and certainly I didn't plan for it to go in this direction, but maybe for some reason you needed to read this today.

I'm never going to be able to live long enough to do everything I want to do. I"m already feeling signs that I am getting older -- some of my joints hurt sometimes, and I get tired easier. I actually have forgotten a few things lately, which NEVER happened. But I still have a thousand dreams to pursue, a million things on my to do list, and a bunch of lives to impact, and a world to change.

Let me leave you with a snippet of a song from years ago:

The dream never dies, just the dreamer;
The dream never dies if it's strong;
The dream never dies just the dreamer...
So come on everybody dream along....

and speaking of dreams, and to do lists, and lives to impact, and worlds to change -- I gotta get busy!

Wow, how Time Flies

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 15:07:00 +0000

I forgot to blog this morning. That's so unusual for me. But I was cleaning up email. Started at 180 action items yesterday at 4, ended at 100 last night. Started up again at 7:30 this morning and now it's 10 and I'm down to 20. What a relief.

Now today I have 10:30, 11:30, 3:00 and 7:00 meetings, with plenty to do in between.

Off and running.... more later.

Leaving the Donate for Princess Button Up Until Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:39:00 +0000

Just so I can make sure that everyone has a chance to donate, I'm leaving it up until Friday. Past/Future and I have discussed this and she agrees that an online gift card to a major pet store for food, etc. would be appropriate. I plan to take care of that on Friday so if anyone else would like to donate, please do so before noon on Friday.

I Drove to Chicago Yesterday, Except that I Didn't

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 13:06:00 +0000

Yup, 9 hours in the car yesterday. I coulda driven to Chicago in 9 hours. Instead I just drove around Minnesota.

Started with a homestudy update visit and then a post-placement visit, having my 8 hours in for work by 3:15. I then rushed into the house to take care of paying the Princess kennel bill and then leaving immediately with Jimmy as a companion to go visit John.

That was my first visit to Adult Jail (having been to numerous juvenile detentions over the years). Bart and I have been coming up with a plan that will help John when he is discharged in August that would allow him his one big rescue from us. We have provided I think three "last chances" to Mike, so I figure we owe John at least one more. He's had at least one, possibly two. I lose track.

Anyway, I went to discuss this with John. He looks good -- thinner than he's been in years, but a bit hardened I think. He has been granted a stay of adjudication and he is determined not to violate his probation. However, he was clueless as to how he could do so if he was homeless and in the town where he was previously arrested. So our offer of mercy was well received. I bought him a phone card on the way out to use to call me. We'll see if he does use it for that purpose. I always like to see how kids respond to guidelines on simple things -- it is almost always an indicator of how cooperative they are being and what kind of mindframe they are in.

I know that John can pull this off with some help from us if he really wants to. And I know very well how determined one can be behind bars. But there is something about all the lures of a past life when you get out that sway you in a different direction.

Bart saw Mike yesterday and reports that he is better than he has seen him in a long time. Go Mike. But Mike reports that his success is just not having many friends. MInding his business, working when he can, staying with a friend outside of our town. It seems to be working for him. He has a lot of community service, which he is doing, so that's good as well. We're contemplating inviting him to slowly spend more time with us and then the other kids.

Something has happened to me over the last year or two, particularly over the last 2 months. When we found out that Salinda was pregnant, it was kind of the last straw. Bart and I had done everything that everyone else does. I took her out when she was seven for her first facts of life talk. We had another one the week she turned nine to cover other things. Then when she was twelve we took her to a nice restaurant and made a covenant with her and gave her a chastity ring. When she lost that ring, we replaced it. We discussed her sexual activity over the years. We talked many times about pregnancy and how it would affect her.

And now that she's pregnant we are getting flack from some family members -- her siblings and some others -- that somehow the fact that we let her spend weekends with her boyfriends family is why she got pregnant (like she couldn't get pregnant in the handicapped bathroom at school had she wanted to. I know. SIck thought. Mentioned to me by a highschooler though).

So when we found out that she was pregnant I exhaled the longest sigh. I don't know if the word defeated would be the right one, but all the sudden I was being handed a situation that I had fought for ten years to prevent. And it was the final nail in the coffin of my dream that teenagers can be controlled.

By the time a child is 13 or 14 they have made some decisions. Either they have decided that they will embrace their families values, at least while living with them, or if they will head in a self-destructive path. Sure, parents can still have rules, but they will be broken. ANd parents should still consequences and attempt to redirect the kid, but you can't make a teenager do anything they have decided they don't want to do.

Sometimes rebellious teens turn into productive adults. Sometimes they don't. But now, parenting my 11th teen, I have finally figured out that i can't control them. The kids we have living here right now have chosen their path. They are going to attempt to follow our rules most of the time. They are making good choices. They want to please us. They don't want their lives to turn out like some of their older siblings. And so we have very few rules lately. I consequence very little. If someone makes a mistake, we talk about it. I ground kids occasionally or take away privileges, but for the most part I handle things differently than I used to.

And so I'm less about controlling my adult children even if we are helping them. I noticed this as we were coming up with this plan for John. Previously I would have been all about rules and guidelines, long lists of them.. Now I'm just trying to set up a situation that has only natural consequences. John's chance at making it is on him. The rest of our kids are stable enough that I don't think he will lead them astray and he won't be living at home.

I am really rambling this morning, aren't I? Anyway, bottom line -- help us pray for the financial ability to carry out the plan and for doors to open. I can't reveal the whole thing yet, but I'd like to have an option for him other than being discharged from jail to homelessness.

Past/Future is Speechless

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:10:00 +0000

Bart send the Western Union $ the way the kennel instructed. We are waiting for confirmation that the kennel owners have received it, but this is pretty much a done deal. I just got off the phone with Past/Future and she is so grateful. She can't wait to see the dog.

I'm hoping this is a jump start towards a better future for her. And now she has my number. I told her she could call me at any time.

Wish I had more time to blog. This has been an amazing experience for me. But the fact that I spent a day helping save a dog has propelled me to think about what to do in a few weeks when John gets out of jail. So I'm off to talk to him about that. I won't be back until bedtime.

Have a great rest of the day.

WE DID IT

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:14:00 +0000

I've been trying to reach past/future today but her phone is off. WE did it. Unofficial calculations show $898.00, plenty for paying off the bill and for a Petco gift card or some other such thing.

Now I just have to figure out how to get Paypal to transfer money to Western Union. May just have to use our credit card. Or have Bart do that. Oh wait, I like that last idea.

This whole experience has taken less than 24 hours (by 17 minutes). I am have been given a new perspective about humanity. It has been personally quite rewarding to be a part of it. It has made me think.

And I have no time to tell you about any of that as I am brewing up a scheme that requires me to travel to see John in jail tonight. I've already been on the road for four hours tonight, but I have a feeling if I don't do it tonight I may not do it and I need to head over there.

So that's my plan.

A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE to all of you who chipped in to get Princess home to Past/Future. I will report back in when the bill is paid.

YAY YOU!

Amazing

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 14:08:00 +0000

I am amazed, awed by your generosity.

We are over $500 and so it looks like we will have what we need if it keeps coming in.

Now, what happens if we get too much as I will not have time to constantly be adding it up as the day goes on.

Do you have Ideas of things we could do for Past/Future if too much comes in? (I wasn't anticipating this problem, but it may very likely happen if I'm not here to post that we have enough....

So Far, You Aren't Letting Her Down

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 12:26:00 +0000

When I posted about Princess, Past/Future's Dog, I thought to myself, "I bet there are enough generous people out there that we'll be half way there by morning.

ANd you didn't let me down. We are a little more than half way there. I would like to only have to make one payment, so if we could get to the total by days end, I think they would accept that. Any little bit helps. There have a few people who have been able to give more than $20, but I figure if I have about 250 readers a day -- that's only about $3.00 a piece, so every little bit helps.

If PayPal intimidates you, let me know and I'll let you send me a check.

I have noticed an interesting trend in who is choosing to give and who isn't and I'm tempted to blog about it, but I'm not going to until I've sent the check because 1) the trend might change, and 2) I don't want anyone to feel manipulated into giving.

For years I have talked about nameless/faceless kids who have "aged out" of the system who are now adults. But seldom do I have an opportunity to step in and say I'm sorry in a tangible way. I want to apologize for our society and our country who in attempting to protect children, often harms them further. A couple years ago we became acquainted with Kim and her family and helped them in many ways. I chuckled at the post title, Being a Grandma, because the teenage girl in the picture is now pregnant and so apparently I will become a great-grandma soon. Sigh.

Anyway, Kim was a real live person who aged out. I was able to see what it was like to have to create your own support system and attempt to make connections. Now Past/Future is another person who I don't really know but whose innermost thoughts we have been able to read.

Past/Future has asked for a list of the people who have contributed so that she can pay them back but some of you have asked her to pay it forward. I know she will be especially careful to do that.

Let's reach the goal today. OK? I will be away from my desk for most of the day, but can update my blog in short spurts from my Iphone as the emails come in.

I'm proud of you folks. You are trusting beyond what is humanly natural to help someone who is really very alone in this world. Hats off to you.

The Story and How You Can Help

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:09:00 +0000

If you read the story about Princess that I asked you to email earlier you know that a former foster child, now adult, needs some tangible help.

I talked to her on the phone today. She revealed to me her real name and her phone number. It took an amazing amount of trust for her to do so. i can tell you that she is a real person. She and I and her kennel have been either emailing or on the phone. While I was talking to "Past/Future" today she received and email from the kennel today saying that they will be putting the dog down on Tuesday if she didn't pay her bill. She blogged about this today and included some pictures of .

The most recent email that I received from the kenne about 15 minutes ago is that they are willing to work with us. I forwarded the email to "Past/Future" and she is so excited. She also got permission today to move in to her new place early and if she can pay the bill she won't have to pay more boarding fees and can bring the dog home by Friday. She is so excited about that possibility.

The total bill will be about $750. We already have $78.00. As I mentioned before, I never do stuff like this, but I would love to reach out and show past/future that regardless of how the system and other adults treated her while growing up, there are safe, trustworthy people in this world who know how to care for others. She was never legally freed for adoption. She is one of those who aged out without a family.

I'm putting a paypal link on my blog. For those who do not want to mess with that and would rather send a check, let me know how much you'll be sending and Bart and I will cover it until your check comes.

Past/Future has asked that she not receive any of the money directly. I have an address of how to sent a Western Union Money Order to the Kennel. I'd like to send at least one installment so they don't put the dog down and the rest by Friday so she can bring her home.

Sometimes I get myself involved in some pretty interesting things. But as Wilson said today, "yup, that's something Jesus would do."

I don't have time to type all the details now

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 20:30:00 +0000

But I want you to start thinking.

So read some of this blog. Particularly this post and then answer this question for me:

How can we not help?

She hasn't asked for our help, but I decided to do something and I've spent some time emailing her. We have come up with a way for people to help her and for her to remain anonymous. The money collected will go directly to the kennel.

Trust me, I never get involved in stuff like this but for some reason I think I need to.

Do any of you agree with me?

Decisions, Decisions

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 18:23:00 +0000

I had an idea this morning. It involves finding a way to take care of our grown children who need somewhere to go. It of course spiraled into several other ideas and now we are facing many decisions. I am like this often. I get one idea and it kind of explodes like dominoes that keep knocking each other over one at time in a a line that never seems to end.

As soon as anything is firm, I'll be sure and blog it, but until then, as my mom used to say, "mums the word."

And since you are wondering as I was:

Mum's the word

Meaning

Keep quiet - say nothing.

Origin

Mum; not mother but 'mmmmm', the humming sound made with a closed mouth. Used by Shakespeare in Henry VI, Part 2:

"Seal up your lips and give no words but mum."

Slamming the E

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:14:00 +0000

It's fairly unmotivating to blog when one has an "e" key on the laptop that isn't working right. You have to push it extra hard in order for it to typ and whn you dont it's hard for popl to rad what you right. Undrstand? (OK, I'll start typing with great intensity and do it right.

We're up and getting ready for a great day. Church in the morning and STAND in the evening. Did you know that even if you don't regularly attend our church you are invited to join us at Sibley park tonight? Well, you are. Tonight we're going to have a scavenger hunt or two.

Yesterday's parade was actually really fun. All of the kids were appropriate and sat with us, a far cry from several years ago when the little kids were little and bonkers and the older ones were so (fill in the blank) that they would either refuse to go or not sit with us. Parades then were to dread.

I have a few pictures. Maybe I'll post them later. When I'm at my desk and don't have to slam the "e".

Reflection

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 14:16:00 +0000

The last couple days I have had no time whatsoever to reflect on anything. I have been going full speed ahead now for days and propelling myself from one task to another, one meeting to another, trying hard to impact the world the way I feel it should be impacted, pursuing my passions, and caring for my children who have been more delightful this summer than ever before. It's been energizing and fun, but I have had no time to reflect.

This morning Kari's Post which led me to Cindy's Post which took me to the other cindy's post as well as Theresa's Blog and I absolutely had to stop and digest and reflect.

Thirty minutes of pondering all those posts and digesting them, and I have no answers. Other than that we all have something to be grateful for.... and that maybe reflection is something I should start making time for.

Why is it that we realize when life is more than half over how short it really is?

When a Plan Comes Together

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 23:09:00 +0000

I have been working on multiple things over the past two days and let's just say that things are falling together in nearly miraculous ways. And that is just way cool.

Some days I seem to beat my head against the wall consistently and get nowhere. Other days I reap all the good stuff I've been sewing.... This must be reap week.

I'm hoping it continues.

Speaking Schedule

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:31:00 +0000

I've been working on this today.... check it out to see if I'm going to be in an area near you.

Claudia's Speaking Schedule

In Rare Form

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:47:00 +0000

Yesterday from Dawn to Dusk, I was in rare form. I am thinking that a psychiatrist would have dubbed me manic yesterday. I had so much energy, passion and enthusiasm that I was wearing out the people around me. It felt good, but when I crashed, I crashed. I was exhausted by nightfall.

My problem is never a lack of passion about something, or even a lack of energy to accomplish all the things that I have going at once. My problem is this pesky little fact that there are only 24 hours in one day. I want to do so much.

I had a meeting with the interim director at the adoption agency that I work for and it was very positive and exciting. I was able to start dreaming about the future and that was really empowering. Then I had worship band practice with an amazing group of youth who I know can do amazing things if they decide they want to. Then it was a transportation frenzy, soccer pictures, a baseball game, and the rest of a soccer game before bedtime snacks at the table with most of the kids and a lot of fun banter.

I swear I could keep 10 people busy full time with all the ideas I have for changing the world.... except I may not have much time to tell them what to do....

I was away from my computer from noon yesterday until this morning. That's gotta be a record... but that means I have a stack of email that is really high (can email be stacked high?) that I must get to.

For those of you who don't know me in person, be glad that yesterday wasn't the day that you met me for the first time. I would have worn you out and you would have walked away thinking I was a bit unbalanced.

but then again, maybe I am.....

Picture Catchup

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:14:00 +0000

I was on a roll this morning after the YMCA. Lots of energy and going on and on about well, everything, especially one thing, that I can't blog about. It's a minor health issue that is simply annoying, but not really bloggable....

But I was reminded of my motto years ago, when I was a Dean of Students: I've got places to go, people to see, butts to kick, and a world to change. That is how I'm facing my day today.

Salinda has been home and has been doing driver's ed hours. Good news from her end is at this point in time she is planning on going to school in the fall. For a while she was saying she would drop out and I, practicing my self-differentiation skills, simply reminded her that if she was going to live here she needed to be in school. She has been having a better attitude and seems to be making some positive decisions, though I still have PTSD in regards to her moods and attitudes and I'm dreading the fact that it might all come crashing down if/when she moves back home.

Tony has called homesick, though he won't admit it... and John is writing from jail. We continue to have contact with most of our children often, whether they live here or not, though Kyle and Mike are sporadic at best.

Here's some pictures I forgot to post. Dominyk was with us on the 4th too, but the picture I took was goofy, but his teeth were so yellow that I had to whiten them up but then ended up making him look like he had gums instead and saved the picture by accident. I know more information than you wanted....

Fourth of July and Baseball....

i Lied

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:42:00 +0000

We don't have baseball tonight.

It's tomorrow night.

Baseball...

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:24:00 +0000

Back from the YMCA which was uneventful. I'm experience back pain again, only a little bit but some, and that annoys me. In fact, for some strange reason, everything is annoying me lately and I need to get out of that slump. Part of it is probably because I haven't been sleeping well and because I'm tired of being mediocre. But I'm going to save you all from that whining crap and tell you about last night's game.

Last night Bart and I sat through Leon's baseball game which seemed to have 26 innings but they said it was only 7. We won and he had 3 great hits -- three for three. He also made an awesome catch in the outfield. It was a great experience. We sit by ourselves and don't know anyone or talk to anyone, but I think maybe this is better as I recall our days in our former small town where baseball games could make me livid. So it's nice to have some time to just enjoy the game.

Last night Leon would come off the field and look for us, his 14 year old eyes eager to see our approval, and give us the best smile ever. The kind of smile that every parent wishes they could receive when they take time to watch their sons play ball . We were remembering how Kyle would not allow us to get out of the car or be seen by anyone when he was that age. It's so nice to have a different response.

We came home to a not very happy at all Wilson because Leon's game went long and we didn't make it to his. It's also nice to see that it matters. In the past we have had kids tell us very clearly not to show up and watch them play.

Tomorrow night we have 2 baseball games and a soccer game all at the same time. Wonder how we'll be able to manage that...

There's Always Someone

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:30:00 +0000

I think I tend to get whiney. Most people probably do. But I mutter to myself and complain about this or that -- both here, in Facebook, and in the "real world" with the people around me. I hate it when I get caught in a rut and sometimes a reminder can jar me and at least make me feel ridiculous for being so whiney.

This morning I ran into a friend at the Y who told me of some health problems she's facing. Certainly not fair at all as she has always been very healthy and taken good care of herself. And here I am suffering no serious health problems even though for most of my life I haven't eaten right, exercised or cared enough.

Really it's just not that fair how things go and there's always someone who has it worse than I do. No matter where we look, there's always someone. My worse and your worse are different things. I look at women who have a kid or two and are stay at home mom's responsible for keeping a perfect house while their husband doesn't contribute at all to the cooking and cleaning and I think their life is way worse than mine. That might be the ideal for someone else. So we all have someone we can look at and say "they have it worse."

People often tell me I serve the same purpose for them. They look at my life and it makes theirs look great in comparison, so they tell me.

So thanks for the reminder, J, if you're reading this. Our prayers are with you! Thanks for being perspective for me this morning. And who knows, things may turn out lots better than you fear.

Perpetual Conflicted Frustration

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 12:27:00 +0000

OK, I'm angry this morning. Not at the world, but at myself and at the fact that there are only 24 hours in any given day and I am attempting to pack too much into them.

First of all, I weighed myself at the Y this morning when I went with Kari and I"m sure most of you don't even want to click over and find out about that, but that was AFTER I had nearly killed myself tripping over baskets of laundry that were Rand's chore to move last night. He wasn't required to do anything yesterday around here. I just let him have his Sabbath -- except everyone has a chore they do every day. If someone doesn't do their part, it's like a Jenga game when the last piece is pulled out. Everything starts to spiral from there. Almost everyone else in the house (with the exception of Dominyk), even Ivan, our summer guest, does there chores without too much hassle. But for some reason Rand just can't or won't do what he is supposed to do.

I have a huge pile of stuff I need to do today and I really wanted to have a lot of positive energy to start my day. I now have energy, but I'm not sure how positive it is.

I am very grateful to have the opportunity to work from home, but if you don't do it, you don't know what a difficult trick it is to do so. You never have to leave home, but you never get to leave work. And the things that need to be done around the house distract from the things you need to do for work and vice versa. I am sure there are people who have the whole thing balanced out perfectly and separate things out by hour, etc, but my guess is that most of us who parent, work from home, and attempt to manage a household fall into my category of .... hmmm... what would be a good phrase ... perpetual conflicted frustration. My only saving grace is that I am not a perfectionist or I'd be insane by now.

I have been working on this post for almost an hour in the midst of jumping from thing to thing. I better just hit Publish and get on with my day....

On Getting Old

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:11:00 +0000

The past year I have found myself getting old. You may think I am exaggerating, but the truth is that this is the year I have gotten old. Not before this year, I had no grey hair and the aches and pains were minimal. These year my hair has turned grey and I am finding my joints in my fingers hurt when it's cold, a sure sign that I'm inheriting mild arthritis like both of my parents have suffered from for years. Dominyk asked me why I was getting grey hair and I just asked, "Have you ever seen a grandma that doesn't have grey hair?" He was satisfied with that response, knowing that in 6 months I'll be one and then, of course, the grey hair will be a necessity.

I've also spent a great deal of time reflecting and realizing who I am and that it's not going to change. I am pretty firmly established as a person, and while I hope that I make some changes, fundamentally I'm really not going to be much different. I don't feel 45 .... I still feel 20. I'm not ready for my life to be half over.... sometimes I feel like it's just beginning.

On the way to church this morning, we heard this song and then Sadie and I saw this movie together. I heard the chorus and realized that this is going to be my life. I'm never going to stop climbing. I'm never going to quit looking for something big to do next.

Here's the chorus:

Theres always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an up-hill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.

He's not like everyone else

noreply@blogger.com (Claudia) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:25:00 +0000

Dominyk has been pretty good in church lately, but it's because he's been able to fall asleep, which isn't very complimentary for the preacher's son, but less disturbing than his usual antics. But lately he's been snoring so loud that it's fairly disturbing and I've been hoping he'll stay awake

Well, this morning he did.... for the whole long hour. It was really warm in the sanctuary this morning, and he couldn't get comfortable. He had not been able to find his belt and he was convinced that his pants were going to fall down, which is not even a remote possibility. But he won't be reasoned with -- no belt equals pants falling down . He desperately wanted to sleep, but simply could not get comfortable.

So the games began. He obsessed about his pants. He obsessed about not being able to breathe. (To no avail, I suggest to him that people who can't breathe can't talk, but he never gets that). He obsessed about not being comfortable.

Then Bart made this mistake of mentioning that the disciples went somewhere "two by two" which led to the repetition of several verses of "the ants go marching two by two" except it was really just repeating the same verse (the second one) again and again. Sort of like that sentence -- repetitious redundancy.

The next move was to pretend to shoot out every stained glass window with a fake gun. Then he ripped apart every tithe envelope he could find.

The next time I looked over at him he had his socks AND shoes off and was playing with his bare, but fortunately clean, toes.

He wanted his back rubbed. He wanted his back scratched. He wanted to rest his sweaty head on my shoulder, which of course, I did allow.

During the last hymn, "Christ for the world we sing" there was great evidence that he not only marches to the beat of a different drum, but that he dances to the beat of a different song. He was singing something about getting that Boom, Boom Boom, and 3008 and two thousand late and dancing while the rest of us were singing an old hymn, that really didn't have a dance beat.

And, as Bart was saying the benediction, Dominyk was, not too loudly, but loudly enough, saying his own "Thank God it's finally over," he proclaimed.

And even though the whole thing was quite entertaining and fun to blog, I'm not sure those sitting around us trying to worship thought so.

Next week I think I'll let him snore.