Flixens - Movies, Television, and Comics from a Girl's Perspective

Samantha is BOOOOOORED.

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:39:17 -0800

So wow. I graduated from college and everything and I am trying to decide what I want to do next like be a teacher or try out for American Idol or Survivor. Maybe I want to be a vet now because I totally love my dog I got a year ago... yeah so this is me soul searching. Searching for my soul. I learned to write better in school, but this is fun because no one gives a shit if I write stuff badly on here. It's like expected.

So what am I even doing here? Well I am totally bored. I have my dad's place all to myself because he's been going on frequent trips to Palm Springs. I guess he's made a lot of male friends down there because he's always talking about doing stuff with them. Weird thing is like my DAD doesn't golf and is there anything other than GOLFING in Palm Springs? So I am bored. So I guess I got nostalgic for like those three months when we had this sucker running at warp speed! So I know were supposed to be all closed and stuff but I thought I would pop in and say HEY, retards.

So my login still worked so I am going to update you on some things you should know:

1. I really like James Bond now more than ever. Quantum of Solace had some incredibly gay moments, but that just proved to me that I love James Bond unconditionally, because even if he's being gay, I still want to see him. I'd like to see him to tell him that he needs to find better, sexier places to visit. Because big deserts full of rubble is boring.

2. I CAN'T STOP WATCHING LOST! This is only surprising because I kind of totally hate the show to death. There's a crazed part of me that wants this show to keep getting zanier and zanier until the end, and then NOT tie up any of the mysteries. That would be hell cool.

3. Smallville. Shut up about it already. We know you don't like it, but guess what? Even after the old show runners left, the show just got better. Even after two cast members split, still better. And I am anxiously awaiting a Doomsday/Clark fight where they tear their clothes and stuff. Until it's just them in their underwear wrestling.

4. They had no plan. The cylons I mean. Battlestar Gallactic has gotten so boring and crawled so far up it's own butthole. I still watch, but at this point I am glad it's ending because every episode makes me want to put a gun in my mouth and then pull the gun out (so I guess it would be kind of slobbery) and then shoot Ron Moore in his pants. Actually I take that all back. Threatening people with guns is uncool. So I guess the show makes me want to take a big ball of rubber bands and shoot ron moore with them in his pants. This isn't coming out right.

5. JOSS WHEDON ALERT! FAITH THE VAMPIRE SLAYER ALERT! Dollhouse starts this friday and I am already getting my feathers ruffled in advance for when it gets canceled. I know the show is about something complicated and Eliza Dushku gets to be all bad ass in all new ways. I'm in if only to rear my head on message boards around the internets to see all of geekdom spontaneously combust when the show gets axed.

6. My favorite movie last year was Speed Racer. I guess that says something about me... OR DOES IT? Maybe it says something about YOU. That's right. YOU didn't get it. Well chances are you never saw it, but I did so I can say with 100% percent certainty that it was better than you think... OR IS IT? Maybe you should buy 100 Speed Racer DVDs and see?

7. I am reading a book by Charlie Huston called The Mystic Art of Erasing All Signs of the Dead (or something CLOSE to that stupid long title). Imagine Kiss Kiss Bang Bang made sweet cherry on a sundae love to Hostel (or something), and that's what you have here. It's very funny and very gory, and saying anything else would ruin the whole book (I don't know what more to say about it.).

8. My dad's pick for best actor is Sean Penn in MILK. I didn't see it, but he was wicked excited about him. I am hoping for Brad Pitt to win. Or the dog from Marley and Me. Both movies made me cry.

9. After reading all the Twilight books and then seeing the movie I can finally admit I am not a fan. In fact, every time I think about a teenage vampire giving a piggy back ride to a girl who is like twice his size, I feel sick inside that I wasted my time with any of it. LOOK AT THEM ZIP AROUND! THEY LOOK DUMB! Yeah.

10. There's a Thor movie comin. Oh yeah it's a commin'. And no one has been cast yet. But I am just going to soak up the syrupy goodness of the news that THOR is a comin'.

The end. But not forever I don' think.

Does this still work?

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 20:52:03 -0700

Hello from BEYOND THE GRAAAAVEEEE!!!!

R.I.P. Flixens

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 16:12:47 -0800

Hi everyone, Nina Kincaid here, your research librarian extraordinaire, with what I hope is some disappointing news for everyone.

I have decided to shut down operations at Flixens.com for the time being. Things started out well enough, and we enjoyed some early support from some very loyal readers (for which I am eternally grateful), but since the late summer we became short-staffed and have been unable to maintain the level of quality on the site that I feel is necessary to continue.

That's it. Short and sweet.

New Bond: "Royale" With Some Cheese

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:33:35 -0800

Ian Fleming's licensed-to-kill superspy James Bond is back in both his first and his latest adventure in Casino Royale, the reboot of the venerable film franchise that shows no sign of mellowing with age.

It seems as if each time a new Bond film comes out, the nay-sayers reiterate how Bond has become an anachronism and that his adventures have become old hat. Daniel Craig's debut as 007 will be the main reason that people go to see the movie, I'm sure. I'm happy to report that Craig fills out the tuxedo quite nicely, thank you, dare I say even delivering the best Bond since Sean Connery? At least, I think he's closer to Fleming's original character than Pierce Brosnan and certainly Roger Moore... rougher than either but smoother than Timothy Dalton.

The plot of the film is relatively straight-forward and uncharacteristically low-key. After earning his 00-status and his licence to kill (after fulfilling the 2-kill prerequisite which we've all seen in the trailer, James Bond is assigned his first mission, which takes him to Madagascar to capture a bomb-making terrorist, played by real-life "freerunner" Sebastien Foucan. Simply put, freerunning is the art of running as fast as you can, avoiding all obstacles in your path as gracefully as possible, and Foucan is the inventor of the sport. His talents are put to incredible use in the film's first big action sequence (there are only three). I've never seen anyone move quite like Foucan before, and the sequence is both thrilling and mesmerizing.

Bond sort of blunders the mission and earns the disdain of M, played once again by Dame Judi Dench. Trying to set things right, James teams up with Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), one of Her Majesty's Treasury agents and eventually gets involved in a game of high-stakes poker in Montenegro with Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelson), a global money-launderer to various terrorist organizations who just so happens to be gambling with his clients' money. James' hopes to beat Le Chiffre at his own game in order to leave the villain no safe purchase in the world except with MI6's interrogators.

If you are familiar with the story, then you will know there are some twists along the way, but nothing you won't see coming down Fleet Street.

For the most part, the film succeeds in its mission. As I said, Craig makes a great Bond, the locales are gorgeous and places we will never see otherwise, the stunts are physical (Craig may be the most bloodied and bruised Bond yet), and the story is interesting.

The film falls apart in its final act, which suffers from "LOTR Multiple Ending Syndrome" and just about grinds to a halt before the 3rd and final action piece. At 144 minutes, it's about 20 minutes longer than it needs to be, and could have used some judicious editing to keep the momentum going.

Long-time fans may be upset to see Texas Hold 'Em being played instead of Baccarat, or by the absence of Q and his gadgets and Miss Moneypenny, or by the jumbled timeline of Bond's first mission with the M who replaced a previous M, but it is nice to see Bond back in his Aston Martin again (sorry BMW), and there are some nice moments related to previous Bond traditions, i.e. his response to "Shaken or stirred?" is perfect.

Oh, and it's a Columbia Picture, so get ready for the Sony product placements that we've all come to know and despise. The film is loaded with them, although I was honestly surprised that the PS3 wasn't a major plot point. There may be hope for Sony yet.

Harry Potter:OOTP One-Sheet Revealed!

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 13:27:00 -0800

It's been a while since we had a Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix update... but Warner Bros. has released the teaser poster for the upcoming fifth film in the film franchise based on J.K. Rowling's wizarding hero.

The poster features Ralph Fiennes as none other than the insidious Lord Voldemort warning us that "you will lose everything."

Hoping to entice people to go see the animated penguin 2D 3D film, Warner Bros. will debut the OOTP trailer before Happy Feet tomorrow (Nov. 17).

OMG: OJ LOL

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:46:07 -0800

Nothing showcases the downfall of modern society better than November sweeps week, especially on the Fox network.

According to CNN, Fox will air a two-part interview with wife-throat-slasher and waiter-murderer O.J. Simpson entitled If I Did It, Here's How it Happened on November 27 and 29. I'm sure the Brown family and the Goldman family already have it on their holiday TiVo schedule... right after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

The interview is conducted by trash-publisher Judith Regan, who has proven herself to be a nightmarish, greedy, opportunistic harpy in the past, and solidifies her place in the Despicable Hall of Fame as she promotes Simpson's new book If I Did It, published by her company, ReganBooks and just happens to be owned by News Corporation, parent company of Fox.

And I just promoted it by reporting on this story.

Damn you Judith Regan! Damn you all to Hell!!

LaBeouf Watch, Dateline November 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:16:10 -0800

It's been quite a while since we had an update on the trials and tribulations of Shia LaBeouf. May 4th, to be exact. Long-time readers of this site will know that I have a special plase in my heart for that cutie. But today is a new day and we have news that young Master Shia has signed on to Transformers 2 and 3.

Now, now... don't get all excited. These trilogy deals are pretty standard these days. What's interesting though is that Shia seems to think that the Transformers feature film will be his ticket on the Lord of the Rings Gravy Train. In an interview with About.com, Shia compared his work on Bobby with his work on Transformers:

Again, that’s exactly what that is. If anyone tells you they do that for the art value, that’s bulls**t. It’s f**king painful. To go from Emilio Estevez to Michael Bay is like walking out of, you know, like in a hammock in the sky, hanging out drinking Pina Coladas with Jesus and then getting smacked in the face and thrown in the devil’s s**pile and having to make a movie. I swear to God.

Huh wha?? He goes on....

I was thinking about quitting this industry. And Michael Bay will tell you that. He’s so hard on his actors, and not in the way that Emilio might be, in that he’ll push you to be something better. Mike is just f**king a hard a**.

OMG, what a whiny, foul-mouthed little wimp! How could I have been so wrong?

Look, the four, five months of pain I went through might buy my mom a house and that’s forever, so I’m all right. People go to f**king war, it’s not like I have a hard job. I’m an actor. It’s not the worst thing. We’re sitting at a pool, I didn’t pay for those shoes, I didn’t pay for this. It’s not a bad life, and for a guy that didn’t have s**t going on. There’s certain pains; it’s a tradeoff like anything. There’s things you don’t want to do in your industry... You get lost in a f**king weird depression, man... I barely made it out of that movie. I was going to a heart specialist; I was having anxiety attacks, losing my mind. And you know, you’re doing physical s**t all day. It’s tough, man. And even Mike at the end, he was like, ‘Look, I know I’m hard on you but you’ll never get this again. If you can go through this with me, you can do anything.’ Sort of like the whole, ‘If you can live in New York you can live anywhere,” type thing. Whatever doesn’t kill you.

Yeah, yeah... whatever, pansy-boy. I am SO done with you. Oh yeah, and the thing about LOTR...

You don’t get bigger than $250 million robots blowing up the world. I don’t plan on making any other – I mean, I’m going to do Transformers 2 and 3 so that will be my Lord of the Rings.... Yeah, I’m gonna do it. That will be my Lord of the Rings and then I’ll just make indies the rest of my time, for a long time. Elijah [Wood’s] straight. Elijah can do whatever he wants. Why? Because he’s in one of the biggest, the top five grossers ever. People in China know who he is and people in Iceland know who he is. He can do whatever he wants. That’s my whole thing is I’ve got to get to the point where people in Iceland will go see Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. That’s what I’m trying to do... It’s a tough deal but again, it was tough to go from the kid thing to the adult thing. That was the toughest jump you can do in this business.

Sheesh... he sounds like Drew Barrymore coming off her E.T. gig. Who would have known? You know what? He's not even THAT cute...

King Kong: Bling, Long

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 08:27:43 -0800

The 3-disc Deluxe, Extended Edition of Peter Jackson's King Kong hits the DVD streets tomorrow, featuring a commentary track with director Peter Jackson and co-writer Philippa Boyens, 13 minutes of additional, completed footage, 38 minutes of deleted scenes, the 8-part documentary "Re-Creating the Eighth Wonder: The Making of King Kong", "A Night in Vaudeville" featurette, pre-viz animatics, electronic versions of the 1996 and 2005 versions of the script, bloopers, design galleries, and more (including a cool Kong statue depending on which version you buy).

You may remember my original review of the film, which I enjoyed, despite its flaws. I'll be the first to admit, it's very hard for me to be completely objective about a Kong film. Remember, I'm the kind of girl who can sit at home and watch a double-feature of King Kong vs. Godzilla and King Kong Escapes in all their man-in-suit glory and actually enjoy them.

But I'm curious to know how many of you are planning on buying the new double-dip. Jackson's film was overly long, by most accounts, so do we really need 13 more minutes of additional footage (plus over a half-hour of deleted scenes)?

Put me in the "Yes" column, I guess. I've been dying to see the "raft" sequence ever since it was cut out of the original release, only to find its way back onto the new DVD. Plus, as complete as the Production Diaries were, they weren't nearly as complete as the behind-the-scenes features on the Lord of the Rings extended editions. THIS is the edition I've been waiting for.

I can't help it. I am weak.

"Grbavica" Grabs Festival Juries

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 03:44:35 -0800

The Bosnian film Grbavica has been one of the year's most discussed films as far as film festivals are concerned. Along with Volver from Spain and The Lives of Others from Germany, it has a chance at being one of this year's Academy Award nominations for Best Foreign Language Film.

Most recently, Grbavica was awarded the grand jury prize at the AFI Fest (news HERE), but otherwise it has been receiving very positive reactions from several of the year's festivals, including the awarding of the Golden Bear for "best film" at the Berlin Film Festival (more HERE).

The film is directed by newcomer Jasmila ?bani?, and is about (from the website):

Single mother Esma lives with her 12-year-old daughter Sara in Sarajevo’s Grbavica neighborhood, where life is still being reconstructed after the 1990s Yugoslav wars. Unable to make ends meet with the meager government aid she receives, Esma takes a job as a cocktail waitress in a nightclub. Working all night is difficult for Esma physically and it also forces her to reluctantly spend less time with her daughter.

The film's English title appears to be Esma's Secret, and will be released in the UK and Ireland on December 15. If it does receive an Oscar nomination, I guess that North American audiences can expect it around the holiday season.

I had a chance to see this film, but sadly could not attend and all the positive talk it has been receiving in the festival world is making me really regretful that I missed the opportunity!

The Trailer Sony Doesn't Want You To See

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 17:46:05 -0800

I kind of like seeing the unfinished and unrendered material in this trailer. Amazing to see the way blockbuster movie trailers are put together. I wonder how many revisions a trailer goes through before it sees the light of day?

Anyhow, enjoy. The last 3 seconds shows the lunging Venom in full tongue BTW.

UPDATE: Looks like Sony got to the Google Video folks after all. Though I'm sure it can be found elsewhere on these internets.

EXCLUSIVE: Animated Hellboy Triple Play?

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 16:35:30 -0800

A couple of weeks ago, Nina and I were fortunate enough to interview director Tad Stones just before the world-premiere of his Hellboy: The Sword of Storms on the Cartoon Network. Hopefully you were one of the lucky ones to see the film, which offered up a totally new take on Hellboy and his trippy cohorts, fish-man Abe Sapien and fire-starter Liz Sherman. Personally, I'm looking forward to the DVD release, which will arrive soon enough, commercial-free and chock full of extras.

I had an opportunity to chat with Tad after the premiere about The Sword of Storm's reception by the fans, the upcoming DVD, and the second animated Hellboy feature, Hellboy: Blood and Iron. Imagine my surprise when Tad dropped a little scoop right into my lap about a third animated Hellboy film... and more! Read on...

Movie MILF: Hello Tad! It's so nice of you to take time out of your busy schedule to chat with us again. I take it your family survived the premiere?

Tad Stones: Nice to talk to you again. Family’s fine except for the fact our water heater decided to break at 2am and spill forty gallons of hot water on the floor. Luckily my wife was up working on a writing project. Much sponging and mopping followed but the wood floor will never be the same. The repairman turned out to be a Darkwing Duck fan but we didn’t get a break on the bill (I will avoid any puns). Sooner or later that has to pay off for me.

MM: About Hellboy: The Sword of Storms... I did think it was strange that the Cartoon Network didn't really promote the film. That's a shame, as I know a lot of people (judging from internet forums) didn't even know it would be on. We DID tried to do our part by getting the word out!

TS: And I appreciate that, the bribe is in the mail. As to promotion on Cartoon Network, they're in a weird spot. They've bought some older skewing movies like Hellboy and the Ultimate Avengers but the rest of their line up is much younger. So from the programmers point of view, advertising a red demon who says, “Screw you,” during Pokemon or My Gym Partner is a Monkey is inviting trouble. So they only advertise where it fits the audience... which turned out to be not very many places.

MM: Hopefully response to the DVD will be good and CN will be encouraged to beef up promotion for the 2nd film.

TS: Well, the same restrictions will apply but I’m really encouraged that so many people who were talking about it online and mentioned they wanted to buy the DVD. We’re trying to pack it with extras. We’re hobbled by not having had cameras shooting the work as we were in productions but there are lots of interviews. If you’re a fan, it’s a place to find lots of Mike Mignola talking about Hellboy in all his forms.

MM: You mention in your online production diary that Mike is on the commentary track as well.

TS: Yes, Mike, Phil Weistein and I recorded it weeks ago. Mostly me saying "What I should have done is..." Mike had only seen part of the movie when he did the commentary so you get some of his first reactions to the final film. I trust Starz will put enough promotion bucks into the marketing so no fan will miss hearing about the DVD.

MM: So what's happening with the second animated Hellboy film then?

TS: We’re editing Hellboy: Blood and Iron right now. I’m working on getting permission to make the movie a couple of minutes shorter. That may sound like you’re getting less value for your money but it’s the opposite. We don’t have the extra camera coverage that a live action film has so if I want to trim frames from a scene or cut a scene completely to improve the action I’m hard pressed to replace the footage. My goal is to get the longest film possible, but I don’t want it flabby.

This movie is soooooooooo different from the first it makes me nervous.

MM: Can't wait! I really enjoyed Hellboy: Sword of Storms. What do you have planned after Blood and Iron? Taking a much-deserved rest I assume...

TS: I’ve been approved to work on the script of the next Hellboy movie. Mike and I know the villain story which is chock full of cool stuff and evil plans. There will be many characters from the comics and you’ll see the animated version of Hellboy’s origin. We still have to work out how we will tell the story and the emotional elements that will affect our heroes. We know Hellboy, Kate and Broom will be in it, we’re not sure who else. But there’s no green light on the actual production. I’m assuming that will have to wait for the reports of DVD sales.

In the meantime, I’ve been approached to guide the animated adventures of another comic book hero, one of the biggest in comics in fact. But no deals have been signed yet.

MM: "Biggest" as in popular, or as in size? I mean, are we talking "Wolverine" big or "Galactus" big? And a third Hellboy film? Hmm... I think I just figured out the angle for our next chat! Until then, thanks for the scoops!

TS: Always fun talking to the Flixens! Say “Hi” to Nina for me.

MM: Hey, she can get her OWN interview... this is so MY moment! Toodles!

Across the Pond, November 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 09:11:58 -0800

Hello everyone... Nina here to present another installment of "Across the Pond," Dominique Taylor's semi-regular column focusing on the UK entertainment scene. This week, Dominique opines on the talents of Lena Headey with the recent news that she has landed the role of Sarah Connor in the Fox network's Sarah Connor Chronicles...

Things Get Heady for Lena

By Dominique Taylor

As Nina has already mentioned, Lena Headey has landed the role as Sarah Connor in Fox’s new Terminator spin-off and so this week is dedicated to the Huddersfield girl who finally gets her break and asks the question, can she cut it?

Lina Heady has long been one of those actresses that you’re sure you’ve seen before but can’t really place. Playing alongside Steve Coogan in The Parole Officer I remember mistaking her for Melanie Sykes. And in similar Sykes fashion, she is a beautiful Northern brunette, but unlike Sykes, a midday ITV show with Des O’ Conner seems a million miles away as she is forging a solid career in Hollywood.

Solid because if you look at her filmography on IMDB, you will see that she has featured not only in Brothers Grimm, but also Onegin, Possession, Ripley’s Game and The Cave and she’s also got a number of films in pre and post-production, including Vivaldi and The Shooter. However, the same website reminds us of her thus far over-shadowed talent by offering a biography that could fit on a postage stamp and giving priority to the fact she was born on the same day as Seann William Scott. Flattering, no?

But can she blow this all into space as she lands the role of Sarah Connor? Her role in The Cave saw her as an adrenaline junky mega bitch and she’s got the tattoos to butch herself up, but the thing that’s worrying me is that this is supposed to take place in the time between Terminator 2 and 3 and she doesn’t look a bit like Axl Rose. Where’s the realism? If this is going to work, I need to know why Sarah Connor decided the scraped-back hair, sunglasses and fag look was not for her.

All facetiousness aside, what I’m trying to get at is that, in usual fashion, James Cameron provided us with a heroine that was largely desexualised (other than the small matter of creating John) and Fox has swiftly sexed her up again. I hope Lena does well, she deserves a steady starring role in the US, but I’m rather concerned this could just end up as one for the lads as a beautiful woman runs around firing her big gun and getting sweaty.

How About A Knuckle "Sand"wich?

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 21:34:01 -0800

Ahhh, I'm looking forward to this pun fest. The trailer leaves me feeling that we are going to get Venom's appearance only in the final act instead of terrorizing Spidey for two hours. And if someone can tell me how Uncle Ben gets mysteriously killed by the Sandman instead of that burglar guy, I'd love to listen to this revisionist history. Next thing you know LL Cool J is going to be Peter Parker's brother.

Spidey 3 Trailer Weaves Web of Destruction

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:57:54 -0800

Talk about your massive media blitzes...

An all-new, full-length, 2 1/2-minute trailer for Spider-Man 3 is about to be unleashed on the world today, broadcasting across a number of Viacom's media networks on TV as well as the Internet.

According to the Hollywood Reporter, on CBS the trailer will air after CSI and before the Shark. On Comedy Central, the trailer will run before a new South Park episode, while MTV will show the spot before a new Real World/Road Rules Challenge. Other TV networks airing the trailer include BET, Logo, MTV2, Spike TV and VH1, with each supporting the event with custom promotions.

In addition, 14 online destinations from Viacom's networks are supporting the airing, including AddictingGames.com, AddictingClips.com, BET.com, MTV.com, IFilm.com, Nick.com, ComedyCentral.com, GameTrailers.com, LogoOnline.com, Neopets.com, SpikeTV.com, The-N.com, VH1.com, and Xfire.com.

Immediately after the television premiere, a high-definition version of the trailer will be available exclusively on IFilm.com.

Sniff... news like this reminds me of Jenny From Canada and her Spidey-Loving ways... we miss you Jenny, wherever your parents have you locked away.

"Piccolo" Hits the Right Note for Weinstein Co.

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:35:15 -0800

The Weinstein Co. has purchased the North American distribution rights to Piccolo, Saxo and Company, a CG-animated French film about a group of instruments who band (HAHA!) together to rescue other instruments and musical notes from a mad scientist trying to build the perfect instrument.

Sort of like Sonic the Hedgehog but with music. And no cute furry animals.

The Hollywood Reporter says it is based on the 1950's album Les Aventures de Piccolo Saxo by "space-age pop" musician Andre Popp. I spent some time in France during the 80s and I remember what French pop music was like then... I shudder to think at the horror that would be 1950's French space-age pop music. Sorry, France, but let's be honest.

Come to think of it, I wonder if Zahra knows anything about this? I might be unwittingly insulting her favorite album, nay, a cornerstone of her childhood! Sorry Sweetie...

Anyway, the film opens in France this month, and new actors are expected to dub the film into English, although it's not clear whether the film will get a theatrical release in North America or go straight to DVD.