Florecita Growing Up

Sembrando autonomia en las comunidades de color

2013-05-15T19:14:00.004-07:00

Por Flor Olivo

Guerrillera

Los pueblos nativos tienen un vínculo largo con la Madre Tierra, la producción de alimentos necesarios para sobrevivir y también la creación de formas de vida sostenibles. Décadas de imperialismo, colonialismo y capitalismo Americano a través del mundo han roto estas conexiones, haciendo que algunas pueblos indígenas y muchos inmigrantes de color abandonen sus terrenos, sus tierras, y sus jardines, a menudo a vivir en nueva tierra inhóspita. A veces, el apartamiento a causado que los derrocados terminen trabajando la tierra, haciendo la siembra y la cosecha, para otros. Al mismo tiempo, muchos que han llegado a países nuevos han olvidado o no han podido continuar estas prácticas.

He plantado un jardín cada año desde el 2006. A través de este proceso descubrí que tengo herencia agricultora. El padre de mi madre trabajaba la tierra, cosechaba y vendía tomates en Colombia. La familia de mi padre también tenía terrenos en México antes de terminar en la ciudad de Monterrey Nuevo León, México. Al cosechar más frutas y verduras, comencé a publicar fotos y escribir sobre mi jardín. Recibí gran apoyo de todos mis amigos y familiares, y hubieron muchos interesados en formar sus propios jardines. Me pregunte por qué la mayoría de los jardineros que conocía eran progresistas blancos. También me dio curiosidad por qué más personas como yo tenían jardínes.

Ser capaz de cultivar nuestra propia comida como comunidades de color nos ayuda a acercarnos a los debates del ambientalismo en nuestros espacios. Según el reverendo Benjamin F. Chavis Jr. en el libro Enfrentando el Racismo Ambiental: Voces desde las bases, “los habitantes de las comunidades [de color] se exponen a mayor riesgos de salud y ambientales que la población en general. Es evidente que todas las [personas] no tienen las mismas oportunidades de respirar aire limpio, beber agua limpia, disfrutar de los parques y áreas de juego limpio, o trabajar en un ambiente limpio y seguro." Esto se extiende a las conversaciones de la auto-sostenibilidad y la inclusión en poder tomar decisiones que afecta lo que consumimos.

Hay muchas razones que este tipo de exclusiones, ofensas y ataques directos siguen ocurriendo en nuestros barrios, pero a pesar de esto hay cosas que podemos hacer para comenzar a tomar nuestra agencia y trabajar activamente para restablecer nuestras voces. Hay movimientos en México y América del Sur que han restablecido la soberanía del agua y los derechos de las comunidades indígenas. Hay comunidades que sobreviven gracias a sus propios jardines.

Recientemente le pregunté a mis amigos en FB cuáles eran las cosas que les impedían sembrar sus jardines.

Muchos expresaron falta de conocimiento. Alicia Cervantes, activista local compartió, "No tengo ni idea de cómo empezar ni cuándo. Nosotros compramos las semillas, pero no sabemos qué hacer a partir de ahí." Maria Alma Razo, madre de cinco hijos, dijo, "Lo intenté el año pasado y no crecío nada. "Karla Morales, madre de dos hijos, escribió, "me encantaría aprender.”

Algunos otros carecían del espacio. "Yo vivo en un apartamento, pero apoyo a los agricultores locales,” escribió Elise Boxer, profesora de Universidad de Utah. Arlene Padilla Arenaz, asesora académica en el departamento de ingeniería en la Universidad deUtah, escribió,"Yo vivo en un condominio y no tengo espacio. Cuando vivía en una casa, solía crecer de todo.”

Y hay también los que lo habían logrado con éxito. MarissaTellez, educadora en Tejas, reconoció su talento natural, "tengo un pulgar verde, pero yo creo que es pura suerte. De hecho, me encanta trabajar en el jardín, pero puede ser un poco caro.”

Hay maneras de encontrar tiempo, recursos y espacios para tener jardines de verduras y frutas. Nuestras propias comunidades tienen respuestas y también métodos prácticos, e ideas para herramientas útiles. He aprendido muchas cosas sola, pero también he sido capaz de aprender de mis mayores y tambien de otros jardineros. Mi tio abuelo me ayudó a crecer una fila de tomates utilizando abono natural, que floreció la temporada pasada. También me enseñó a usar bolsas de plástico como cuerda. Los años antes mi padre me ayudó a pensar en maneras de fertilizar y organizar nuestros productos para utilizar el agua de forma más eficiente.

Hace dos años, María López, madre comunitaria que recide en Rose Park, me inspiró con su jardín. Ella estaba creciendo papas, maíz, chiles, tomates y frutas. Todas, cosas que ella utiliza en su cocina diariamente.

López dice que su motivación es poder proveer a su familia con frutas y verduras orgánicas. Quería "tener verduras naturales, que no tuvieran productos químicos. No fue difícil empezar. Fue fácil. Planté semillas."

Ella tomó las semillas que le gustaban. Trabajó la tierra, las cuido quitandoles malezas que crecían a su alrededor y se aseguró de que la tierra se mantuviera húmeda. Y compartió con orgullo que "todo lo que ha plantado ha crecido maravillosamente. El secreto es regar constantemente.”

Lopez no le hecha fertilizante a sus plantas, simplemente se asegura de mover la tierra y echarle agua regularmente.

López dijo, "usa lo que siembres. Y vale la pena el trabajo para poder controlar que las verduras y frutas no tengan químicos que nos lastimen."

El sembrar y cosechar mis propias frutuas y verdudaras ha sido una experiencia estimulante que he utilizado para mantenerse de mis raíces, para mantener espiritualidad y para explorar un estilo de vida más sano. Para mí, se ha convertido también en una forma activa de restablecer un arte que define la determinación y el poder. Para la gente de color la jardinería puede promover hábitos saludables, puede dar paz en saber de dónde provienen sus alimentos, puede ayudar a la economía familiar al ahorrar dinero. Y puede incluso convertirse en un refuerzo a la economía local a través de los mercados de agricultores.

No es difícil empezar. Todo lo que tienes que hacer es plantar una semilla, literalmente.

Para más consejos sobre jardinería y la fuerza de jardinería comunitaria visite nuestro sitio web Venceremos.utah.edu

Planting seeds of autonomy in communities of color

2013-05-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

By Flor Olivo

Guerrillera

Click here for Spanish version

Native people have a long-standing tie to Mother Earth, nurturing it to produce food needed to survive and also creating sustainable ways of life. Decades of American imperialism, colonialism, and capitalism throughout the world has severed many of these connections, causing indigenous peoples and immigrants of color to flee their territories, lands and gardens, often to live on inhospitable new land. At times, the removal has resulted in those ousted to end up doing the work of planting, sowing and picking, for others. Some who have arrived in other countries have forgotten or have been unable to continue these practices for themselves.

I've planted a garden every year since 2006. Through this process I discovered I come from a heritage of agricultores. My mother’s father worked the land, grew and sold tomatoes for a living in Colombia. My father’s family also had lands in Mexico before ending up in the city of Monterrey Nuevo Leon, Mexico. As I got a little better at gardening and yielded more fruits and vegetables, I began posting photos and writing about my garden. Everyone I knew was very supportive, intrigued or interested in forming their own gardens. I wondered why most of the gardeners I knew were white progressives. I also wondered why more people I knew didn’t garden.

Being able to grow our own food as communities of color helps us get closer to discussions of environmentalism in our spaces. According to Reverend Benjamin F. Chavis, Jr. in the book Confronting Environmental Racism: Voices from the Grassroots, “Inhabitants [of communities of color] are exposed to greater health and environmental risks than is the general population. Clearly, all [people] do not have the same opportunities to breathe clean air, drink clean water, enjoy clean parks and playgrounds, or work in a clean, safe environments.” This extends to conversations of self- sustainability and inclusion in decision-making that affects what we consume.

There are many reasons these exclusions, trespasses and direct attacks continue to happen in our neighborhoods, but amidst that there are things we can do to begin taking back our agency and actively working to reinstate our voices. There are movements in Mexico and South America that have re-established water sovereignty and rights for indigenous communities. There are communities that survive on their own gardens.

Recently I asked my friends on FB what were things that prevented them from gardening.

Many expressed lack of knowledge. Alicia Cervantes, community activist shared, “I have no idea how to start or when. We bought seeds but don't know what to do from there.” Maria Alma Razo, mother of five, said, “I tried it last year and nothing grew.” Karla Morales, mother of two, wrote, “would love to learn!”

A few more, lacked the space. “I live in an apartment, but I support local farmers,” wrote Elise Boxer, University of Utah professor. Arlene Padilla Arenaz, Academic Advisor in the College of Engineering at the University of Utah, wrote, “I live in a condo and don't have space. When I lived in a house, I used to grow everything.”

And there were also those who had accomplished it successfully. Marissa Tellez, educator in Texas, acknowledged her natural talent, “I do have a green thumb but i think its pure luck. I actually love working in the garden but it can be a [little] expensive.”

There are ways to find time, resources and spaces to make gardening work. Our communities hold hidden answers and also practical methods, practices and tools that can be very helpful. I've learned a lot on my own but I've also been able to learn from my elders and other gardeners. My tio abuelo helped me grow a row of tomatoes using compost to fertilize that flourished last season. He also taught me to use plastic bags as string. The years before that my dad helped me to think of ways to fertilize and organize our produce to use water more efficiently.

Two years ago, Maria Lopez, a Rose Park community mother, really inspired me with her pots and backyard garden. She was growing potatoes, corn, chilies, tomatoes and fruit. All things she used in her kitchen daily.

Lopez who only speaks Spanish says, providing her family with organic fruits and vegetables was her drive. I wanted to “have natural vegetables, that didn’t have chemicals. It wasn’t hard to start. It was easy. I just planted seeds.” She picked the seeds she liked. She worked the soil, took care of them by weeding the space around the plants and made sure she kept the dirt moist. She proudly shared that “everything she’s planted has grown beautifully. The secret is watering consistently.”

She does not fertilize, just makes sure to till regularly and water. Lopez says, “use what you plant. It’s worth the work if you are able to control that your fruits and vegetables don’t have chemicals that can hurt us.”

Gardening has been an uplifting experience that I have used to stay connected to my roots, maintain spirituality and to explore a healthier lifestyle that I can afford. It has also become an active way of re-establishing an art that defines self-determination and power. For people of color gardening can promote healthier eating habits, peace in knowing where your food comes from, it can help your family economy by saving money on vegetables and fruit. And can even become a local economic booster through farmer’s markets.

It's not hard to start. All you have to do is plant a seed, literally.

Wisdom for Healing: Day 4

2013-01-29T19:48:00.001-08:00

Today's Lesson:

Focus on conscious tranquility. No matter how stressful the day is, your intention is to remain centered and calm.

Your goal: to learn that you can control your psychic energy.

Wisdom for Healing: Day 3

2013-01-04T16:24:00.001-08:00

Today's Lesson:

Observe the conversations you engage in today. Are they productive or mean-spirited? Are they filled with gossip or stimulating information?

Your goal:

To recognize the quality of information you feed your mind each day.

Wisdom for healing: Day 2

2013-01-02T16:01:00.000-08:00

Today's Lesson:

Determine whether you spend most of your energy in a positive or negative frame of mind. Do you have to remind yourself to be positive, or are you naturally that way?

Your goal:

To be mindful of whether you're unconsciously positive or negative.

The lie of strength

2012-12-31T07:52:00.001-08:00

“We tell people they are “strong” when we are uncomfortable with their pain and would prefer that they shut up and not bother us with it. To say “but you are strong” is telling someone “I don’t think you should feel that way,” and it’s not a compliment. I don’t think that strength means being invulnerable, or pretending that you are.

The belief that silence and stoicism are inherently good qualities is how you end up dressed up like a bat punching criminals in an alley – it’s not a good road to emotional health. 

Be sad.

Be angry.

Let your heart break – in the diner, on someone’s futon, in the park, on the way to the zoo, at brunch, over drinks, in the therapist’s office, on the bus – Wherever it breaks, let it break all the way open, let it run out and down and spread out in a soggy puddle at your feet.

Say, “I’m sorry, I can’t listen to you today, my heart is broken. Will you sit with me a while and I’ll tell you about it?“

Say, “I can’t take care of you today, but you can take care of me, and maybe tomorrow I will take care of you, and we can trade off like that for a while, okay?”

Say, “I love you, and I love that you think I’m strong, but I don’t feel like being strong today. I feel like being angry and crazy and sad. Can we go to the movies or just sit here quietly or take a walk or talk about it or not talk about it?"

Your friends may get scared when you do this. If you, the “strong” one can break, what does that say about them? That’s why they push back at you and try to remind you of your strength, when what you need is for them to stand by you in your pain and weakness. They don’t have to solve that pain, they just have to bear witness to it. Maybe they don’t know how – a lot of people don’t know what to do in the face of other people’s pain. They want to fix everything, and if they can’t fix it they feel inadequate. As the “strong” one you can help them out with this by saying

“You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to do anything. Just be with me, and listen, and love me, and I’ll love you back. That’s all I need – to know that you love me, even when I’m sad and scared and don’t know what to do next.”

- Captain Awkward, “The lie of strength"

Wisdom for healing: Day 1

2012-12-28T11:52:00.001-08:00

I've been super grouchy lately. I think it's cause I'm holding on to way to much. Sometimes I have to stop and realize I am a nice person and my heart gets wounded easily. No matter how many times I try to be tough, or not care about something. In the end, I do care. I care too much. So part of my healing in these times of too much on my shoulders is to stop and think about taking care of my spirit. I'm gonna go through a deck of cards I bought and post one each day along with my reflection on the lesson.

This is more for me but I hope if it comes in handy for any of you that you use it as well.

Today's Lesson:

Engage in psychic cleansing. How much debris do you carry in your energy field? Debris is generated by irritation, stress, unfinished business, and mental and emotional toxins. It's distracting and disempowering to the healing process.

Your goal:

To release unnecessary thoughts and emotions.

Some stuff I will try:

Here are a few simple things that can help you:

Reduce the amount of time you read the newspapers or watch the news on TV.
Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.
Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.
Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. Jealousy and low self esteem, often lead to lack of inner peace.
Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.
Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.
Don't take everything too personally. A certain degree of emotional and mental detachment is desirable. Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically.

Every day, we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.

You will also need to:

Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and concentrate on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them.
Practice some concentration exercises. This will help you to reject unpleasant thoughts and worries that steal away your peace of mind.
Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life.
Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too.

Enojada, con razon

2012-12-26T11:05:00.002-08:00

La mente desorientada. All fogged up with anger.
Angry you don't see all I want is for you to love me
as much I loved you.
Deeply knowing I don't want you near me.
Learning a new way to live.
And every time I try to bring you in,
you drown me in your unhappiness, in your lack of feeling.
You never found you, you decided to follow something that was
easier. You followed a path, that I cannot follow. A path
I will turn from. I have something burning inside, an explosion
of emotions, of feelings of things to tell. I am done trying to
make you see I'm worth something more than what you want to see.
I'm tired of shining for you, from today on, I will shine because that is me.

Villancicos Latinos y Christmas Carols Americanos

2012-12-24T11:38:00.000-08:00

Esta noche habrá una mezcla de culturas en mi casa. The word melting pot wouldn't be appropriate to describe the uniting of culture and knowledge. We won't be melting, or defacing anything because each custom, tradition and ritual has a meaning attached to it. A meaning that makes it sacred and valuable for those of us that receive it. This year, we have embraced many customs. We put up a tree, we wrapped our gifts in santa wrapping paper, we burned incense, we've sang, we will dance, we made tamales together, we made empanadas, we baked chocolate chip cookies and even praised the coming of a new time for our Earth.

Tonight we will intertwine old and new through music and singing old and new villancicos together. To do this I made a book that I want to share with everyone. Maybe today before the end of the night you can print it and sing with your families a couple of songs.

Start a new tradition this year :) All the tunes are easily found on YouTube if you need to hear the sound of the songs.

Feliz Navidad!!

Here's a link to the PDF:

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B5eD5u8qYQ1TNG95NW50WnpHQUU

Here are the JPGS:

TDay

2012-11-22T18:44:00.001-08:00

Many things to be grateful for but most importantly family!

Si tengo a mi familia soy rica!

Germs... 5 second rule!

2012-11-19T21:24:00.000-08:00

True Friends Love Unconditionally

2012-11-14T19:09:00.001-08:00

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."

- Octavia Butler

Pandebonos y chocolate Abuelita

2012-10-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

This Sunday I made a Colombian/Mexican desayuno. Here are the recipes in case you are interested.

Makes about 20 large Pandebonos

Ingredientes/Ingredients

12 oz. Mezcla Pandequeso (box in the image, you can get it at most Rancho Markets)

16 oz. de Queso molido (Queso Cotija works the best)

8 oz. de leche (milk)

1 huevo (egg)

Preparacion/Preparation

A la mezcla de Pandequeso agréguele el queso molido y el huevo. Mientras amasa agrege la leche lentamente hasta formar una masa suave y firme.

Pour out Pandequeso flour in a container, add grated cheese and egg. While kneading add milk slowly until you form a firm but soft dough.

Arme las roscas del tamaño deseado, deje reposar por 15 minutos.

Form into a doughnut shape and let rise for 15 minutes.

Horneado/Baking

Precalentar el horno a 450 grados fahrenheit, hornear los Pandebonos de 15 a 20 minutos hasta que se vean pecosos.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees fahrenheit, bake the Pandebonos for 15 to 20 minutes until they are lightly browned.

While you wait for the Pandebono to be ready, make the chocolate.

_______________________

Chocolate Abuelita

Makes about small 10 cups of chocolate

Warm 1/4 gallon of milk

In a blender add 1 cup of milk and 1 1/2 tablets of Nestle Abuelita Chocolate. Blend until chocolate is dissolved.

Pour into warming milk and add a teaspoon of cinnamon.

Allow to come to a boil.

Remove from heat and let cool a bit.

Serve Pandebono and Chocolate together.

Learning Through Gardening: Basics of the art

2012-09-30T13:08:00.001-07:00

In 2006 I officially started gardening. My dad and I came up with a summer project for our family to get along better. We did a gardening competition where everyone divided up into groups and we each got a garden box in his backyard. The garden that did the best would win, but in the end we would all win because we'd have fresh fruits and vegetables.

I ended up being the only one to keep up all the plots and haven't stopped since. Some years less than others but I discovered something I was really good at. Sometimes my friends and family ask me what my secret is. I’ve been called a green thumb too. But I’ve realized that not much is needed to be a good gardener. Gadgets, tools and fancy decorations help aesthetically but the earth holds everything you need to have a beautiful garden. There are some essential principles that I think I should share.

It’s good to point out I come from a family of agricultores. My grandfather owned land, grew and sold tomatoes for a living for a long time in Colombia. My father’s family also had terrenos en Mexico antes de terminar en Monterrey Nuevo Leon. As I learn more about my indigenous roots I understand more of my connectedness to the art of growing life. Gardening has been a spiritually uplifting experience that I have used to stay connected to my roots, and my ancestors. I never realized how valuable this art really is, the literal root of life, cultura and familia.

Here’s the things that have been essential for me:

Love for the earth- this specially shows when gathering your harvest, in the way you pull the vegetables or fruit off the bush, tree or vine. If you tear or rip things out the plant is affected. If you step on plants to get to others, or if you tie plants carelessly the plant is affected. Using care and love enables the plant more time and energy to grow instead of wasting time healing itself. Also, looking for friendly ways of protecting your food. For example, releasing ladybugs twice a year on your crop helps control most of the pests. There are other specific remedies for pests such as slugs, aphids, etc. but in our garden ladybugs always do the trick! Poisons come back around, keep them out of your life.

Respect and care- large fruits and vegetables grow out of healthy soil and plants. Just like people they need food, water and sun. Just like humans they also need consistency, for example you can use a drip irrigation system that drips water all day, or you can water the garden every morning and every afternoon. But if you water every once in a while, or when you remember the crop will reflect that. I think this is one of the most essential secrets of a successful gardener. So maybe it shouldn’t be called a green thumb but a watery thumb! That doesn’t sound as cool though… Treat your plants as friends. Hopefully your a good friend and don't leave your friends hanging when they're expecting you.

¯\(ツ)/¯

Gratitude- every day we eat and cook vegetables we leave small left over pieces. There are other organic wastes that can be used to compost soil… Soil compost is extremely valuable to plants. Putting prayers into action, say thanks by giving back. The least a gardener can do is save their scraps from the kitchen and return them to the soil. Many people build compost piles in a corner of the garden and just throw in waste periodically, then once a year they disburse it into the soil. There are other ways to compost for example, burying leftovers right into the soil throughout the winter and spring, (we do this). Usually summer time when the fruit is cropping it’s better to stick to a pile, to ward away undesirable pests, and then when you do the winter clean up mix it into the rest.

I know these tips aren’t the usual list of this and that. But I feel once I learned these gardening principles the rest was learned as I went. One year of a good variety garden that you are committed to can teach so much. As you observe the way nature works and the basic laws that govern it, it also helps you reflect on how life can also become uncomplicated by learning underlying principles and basic laws. At least it did for me. Most important one I’ve learned, if you give, you receive.

So... if you give goodness, you will receive goodness back. If you give half done work, you will receive half sized veggies ;-)

Six months to start preparing to have a fruitful garden is good time. I’ll keep posting my ideas and ways I make gardening an essential part of my personal growth until the next planting season. Hope it motivates at least one more person to begin their journey towards getting familiar with the power of the earth.

Nada

2012-09-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while because I don't know what to write about. I have so much in my head. I feel so lost and indecisive. I have applications stacking up and I don't know where to start to get them done and sent out. Stepping here, stepping there. Venturing out, staying in. Realizing I trusted too much then seeing I didn't trust enough. I feel like a child all over again. At the bottom of the pack even though a month ago I felt like I was at the top. My body has been reacting to my brains discomfort and I know I need to slow down for my well being. Today I stayed home from my duties, and have been catching up on reading and cuddling my baby cheeks, Adrian. My mom came by and brought me pandebono and hot chocolate. We chatted a bit.

El lunes I went to this cool poetry slam and wrote down some inspiration from it. I was cool because it reminded me of my Colombian roots which I've neglected recently. For today, I'm gonna rest and take it easy :) I'm gonna finish out this week and next week everything will be better I have no doubt.

I shoulda been brave- repost

2012-09-26T11:57:00.003-07:00

I Shoulda Been Brave

Innocent, little arms
outstretched longing for a hug,
a shelter from harm.

Long strong arms,
reaching down to show love,
give protection from harm.

How do you talk about abuse when you were little without wounding your mom?
How do you speak of pain, loneliness and despair without making her feel she wasn't there?

Her sweet face, transferring her love.

Her beautiful eyes mirroring your joy.
Tender snapshots I can't get sick of,
snapshots strangled by dark little spots.

Tiny spots, overshadowing passages of adoration.
Grown ups pushing each other away.
Grown ups who outgrew their childhood laugh.

Grown ups that forgot how easy it is to forget.
Longing for another chance to unload.
Craving to be little again just so I can tell her.
Just so I can show her that I'm brave.

She taught me so many things,
unfolded my spirit to unmeasurable lengths
but she forgot to teach me to be mean.

She forgot to teach me how to speak
and not care about others peace.
My silence remains my pain entrenched like dirt in a sidewalk crack.

So often stepped on, ignored, so cracked and so closed.
So vulnerable, rained on, and exposed.
Let me say sorry, but I dont know what for.

Make him speak!
That old withered man.
The one fate has carried so bold preserving his mind even at 92 years old.
Make HIM speak, so this silence can finally be dropped and never retold.

The Chicana in me ~ Embracing my identity

2012-09-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

Special shout out to Ruby Chacon for hooking me up with the beautiful images I included in this post.

Today I read the seventh chapter of Anzaldua’s Borderlands. It’s a piece on conciensia of the mestiza (Mestiza consciousness), I’m writing down my reactions.

As I read the beginning of Anzaldua’s piece a thought came to my mind, mainly the humility I see in my parents and that often times was passed down to me. The idea that I didn’t know better, that I needed something or someone to help me figure out who I was and what I needed to do. I find this notion to be empowering in my relationships, which I have found are some of my most valuable possessions. I call them possessions because even though to others relationships may not have the same amount of value for me they are tangible in the health they provide to my body through the nourishment of my esencia, or soul.

The Ritual by Ruby Chacon, local Salt Lake City Chicana Artivist

I have found that embracing my culture is not actually an act of pride but instead of amor, love. That my parent’s concern with maintaining humility in my culture wasn’t about thinking I was less, it was about finding more. Amor for my ancestors, and love for the line of mujeres that created me, and that nourished my consciousness. Even though sometimes I feel disconnected from them, my ancestors, because of my naivety as a participant in a world of materialism, when I take my shoes off and dig my feet into the earth I understand. This understanding is not an abstract thought, or impermanent state, it’s a physical force that warms my heart and moistens my eyes. At times because of that teaching of humility from my mother and father I kept these deep spiritual feelings a secret. I know this passion and warmth comes from inside me and is linked to a lineage of strong spirits that yearn to see me grow.

“Rigidity means death” explains my struggle with rebellion and my intimate desire to seek truth to find peace. Reading these books and excerpts explains the why and how I have felt for a long time. It’s powerful to learn through the Chicana lens, I wonder if this is how white people feel learning their history, their methods and their ancestral culture as they learn to navigate their system of values through academia. I often wonder why I did so badly in high school and the beginning of my college career. I wonder if I had taken classes that applied to me and catered to my experience, would I have been more successful? Finding Venceremos and the Chicana journalism model was essential to my success as a student in a predominantly white college, so I guess the answer is yes.

Going back to the reading, when thinking of the uprooting of dualistic thinking I realize it is a powerful notion that can be thought of as the smashing of the boxes society has placed each one of us into. Why can’t I be Mexicana, Tejana and Colombiana? Why can’t I be de aqui y de halla? Why can’t I hate being a mom and also love it? Why do I have to choose this or that? Why can’t I choose this and that?

I have decided I don’t want to teach my children everything I was taught and I find this hurts my parents at times because they don’t realize that I am still teaching them most of the things they taught me. I am teaching them all the things that I remember made me feel happy. As a woman of color, by ripping away the chains of a nationality, religion, homeland and race, that have been imposed by white supremacy, I can choose from here, I can choose from there and I don’t have to feel like a traitor to anyone. My spirit isn’t weighed down by guilt of oppression to others. I have loyalty to my shameless spirit and to my ancestors, the ones who know what’s up because they have crossed over.

El Baile by Ruby Chacon

This reminds me of the freedom of becoming transparent, of learning and teaching through vulnerability. Through the power of honesty with our most deep self and our most pressing intuitions. La intuision de la mujer, the feeling that lets us know what is right, and what is not right at the moment. This feelings that refines as you become the creator of life, literally. Although I understand having children and rearing them is not the only purpose of the woman body, it is one of its functions. I feel this strong assertion from within that this function was given to the woman because she is the original creator of life, the architect of soul and true love.

Recently as a mother of three, two of which are in elementary school now. I have learned I do need white allies, not only because I live in a white dominated space but also because it heals wounds and helps stitch part of my heart that were broken by other white individuals. For a long time, I hated white people and wanted nothing to do with them. Some years ago I realized this resentment and anger only perpetuated the purpose behind the construction of whiteness, divisiveness to gain power. I realized that if I didn’t learn to make amends with that part of my community I would always remain wounded and vulnerable. I have consciously decided to make connections with white people and because this desire came from an honest place, I can say I have honest relationships with white women, who acknowledge their whiteness and value my brown skin.

Re-reading Anzaldua this week and recovering these beliefs has brought a lot of clarity to my mind because I remember why I’ve made certain choices and it gives me the strength to keep making them. It moves me forward to continue creating paths of choice and opportunity for my hijos, mis pollitos. And to continue my journey to seek truth that leads to new paths of happiness, understanding and uncertainty. Anzaldua is a powerful soul who transcends fortaleza through her words, I am grateful for her spirit.

The Fresh Prince and Carlton

2012-09-13T22:31:00.001-07:00

Recently Flor and I have decided to introduce the kids to a staple of our culture. The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You all remember running home to catch Will on TV and laughing your young brown butt off the chair. Since the kids are huge Willow and Jaden Smith fans we knew they had to get to know their papa. We bought the first season of Fresh Prince. The kids love the show. They know all about Jeffrey, Carlton, Ashley and Hilary. They especially had fun with the episode where Uncle Phil's parents come to visit and they tell Will that they called Uncle Phil "Zeke" and that his best friend was his pet pig "Milton". Funny stuff maine. I never really remember paying to much attention to the social and racial issues that Fresh Prince had in its core.

I let the kids stay up a little extra time since Flor wasn't home, but it was only for a little bit. We watch an episode called "Mistake Identity". The premise of the story is that Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv are going to a couples vacation at Palm Springs with Uncle Phil's partner in their Law Firm. Uncle Phils partner askes Carlton to drive his car down to him in Palm Springs because they are taking his wifes new helicopter down and they want their car. Will tags along. While Will and Carlton are driving down they get lost. Will tells Carlton to stop and ask someone for directions but before they can do that they get pulled over. They get "mistaken" for car thieves who have stolen various cars in the Palm Springs area and they are taken into jail.

Once in jail they try to call Uncle Phil but he cant answer them and they call Jeffrey but he is off duty so he hangs up on them. Will and Carlton then concoct a scheme to fake a confession so they can get on TV so that Uncle Phil can see them since Carlton knows he is watching the football game. The plan works and Uncle Phil goes to get the boys.

After Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian get the boys out of jail, Will and Carlton have a very good conversation.....

(I cant embed the video right now so here is the link: http://youtu.be/qQtDXxXyPYQ)

After Carlton and Will's argument Natalia and Andrei are quiet. I can see the gears in their brilliant minds turning, digesting the events that just happened in a way I never did when I was a kid. They look at me and I can tell they want to talk about it. I stand up from the couch, turn the blu-ray player off and start walking to the kitchen to get a cup of water. Without fail my troop gets up and follows me.

"So..... Who do you think was right? Will or Carlton?" I ask as i serve the three of them some water.

"Will.", says Nati as she jumps on the counter. "Those cops where mean to them. They didnt even do anything wrong."

"Yeah," says Andrei. "Will and Carlton where just driving and they where making Carlton cry."

"You think that Carlton was right too? What if they did have a map? Would they have been lost and got pulled over?"

"No." they say.

"So they where both right in a way, you think?" i ask them.

The gears keep grinding away as they try to process this further.

"I think they are both right." I say after there is a long enough pause. "Carlton is right, if they had a map and where prepared they wouldn't have been pulled over and gotten in trouble, but even though they got lost, the cops shouldn't have been mean to them. Sometimes that happens, we get treated badly for no reason. We have to always be prepared and stand up against that. Its hard for Carlton because he never had to deal with cops before. Will has because he grew up in a bad neighborhood so he already knew what was going to happen."

"Its cuz Carlton isnt really Black huh dad?", Nati asks me.

"He is. That was part of Will's point, that even though Carlton doesn't believe they where being mean to him because he was Black, they still were. He can never not be a Black man."

Then I asked them if they remember about Uncle Phil. How he was a poor kid in North Carolina with a pet pig and no money. His parents worked hard so he can have everything. I told the kids that that is the dream of all parents. When Uncle Phil grew older he stood with Dr. King so that Black and Brown kids could be equal to whites and be able to go to the same schools. Because of that he was able to make a good life for himself and his kids. Thats why Hilary and Ashley can have anything they want and Carlton can go to a pre law school. Its also why they could take care of Will and help him have a better life.

"Thats cool dad."

"Yup, now go to bed!"

It was a goodnight. The kids went right to bed. I wonder how they are going to live these experiences. I remember how sad Natalia was when she went to Elk Meadows. I wont ever forget how she was slapped in the face by a white boy and she got in trouble for it. Now that she is at Jackson Elementary I worry a little less but its always at the back of my head. My boys too. Carlton and Will's situation can happen to them someday.

I think Carlton was right in a way. We have to make sure that we have a map always. Even then we know that we carry the history and love of our people in our skin and our facial features. Its on us to help out kids grow up in a better world and place. Thats truly our struggle, why we fight against racism and sexism and struggle so hard to get through their hoops.

-- Isaac

Work and more work: My super mom friend

2012-09-12T00:09:00.002-07:00

I need to sit down and write but since I only have a minute I'll share some of what I've been up to, my photography :) You can check more of my work at: http://FlawurMedia.Com

Meet one of my super mom friends and her 5 kids!!! We started college around the same time but she's done, is a teacher. Very proud of you girl. Oh and your kids are adoooorable!

Stay tuned I'm writing I just need to get it together and post it up!

El ranchito en Mi Patio

2012-08-15T13:36:00.002-07:00

Viejito
obscuro ranchito.
El lugar que escondía un secreto,
de alguien que no vale la pena nombrar.

Obscurito
podrido ranchito.
Que solia caliente estar,
un lugarcito donde me daba siempre
miedo entrar.

Solito
horrible ranchito.
Que al lado de mi culumpio su sombra
solia sombrar.
Lleno de telaranas y ardillas
y quien sabe que mas.

Feito
familiar ranchito.
Que toda mi niñez recuerdo mirar.
ese olvidado territorio,
que por fin en una montañita de basura
convirtió su estar.

Youth takes action: Bringing the conference home

2012-07-30T07:43:00.000-07:00

BY: Flor DeMaria Olivo

Across the nation university enrollment and completion for communities of color is on the rise. According to US Census data, “the number of Hispanics with doctorates jumped 161 percent from 1990 to 2010.” Some say these advances are the result of years of community work and even then the disparities remain.

Isaac Giron, local activist and U of U student, says, “We have progressed as communities because we desire to achieve and grow, but we still have a long way to go.” In Utah several youth organizations are working to continue bridging gaps.

These students have decided to take their educational future into their own hands and have joined national efforts to maintain momentum. Mestizo Arts and Activism, the FACE Movement, the Salt Lake City Brown Berets and the Venceremos Student Newspaper are only some of the organizations that have joined this movement. The University of Utah (U of U) is linked to a number of them.

Students, educators and activists come together to build community and plan the national FMFP conference.

This summer these groups, along with others, gathered to welcome the Free Minds Free People national planning committee which has chosen Salt Lake City as their host city for their 2013 conference. A planning retreat took place in the Glendale community of Salt Lake City where about 30 activist from Chicago, New York, Tucson, California and other states came together to plan the upcoming event.

The FMFP conference is a project of the Education for Liberation (EdforLib) organization based out of Chicago, Illinois. This parent organization works to educate, inspire and promote education for all students, including those in underrepresented communities and communities of color in the United States.

Tara Mack, the founder of the Education for Liberation, says, “the EdforLib network aims to improve education by bringing people together to learn from other’s experiences. We build alliances that cross boundaries of geography, occupation and age in hope of nurturing communities of thoughtful, socially engaged people.”

Mack has been the main organizer for the FMFP conference since 2007.

Last month the conference announcement was kicked off nationally by Voices in Urban Education (VUE), a quarterly journal published by the Annenberg Institute for School Reform, where the purpose of the conference was highlighted.

Educators, students and allies shared their meaning for EdforLib. “We seek to understand, frame, and practice education for the purpose of freedom – a true collective realization of liberty and justice for all,” said Keith Catone, a veteran high school teacher and now senior research associate with the Annenberg Institute.

For educators like Curtis Acosta, a high school teacher in Tucson New Mexico, the meaning is slightly different.

Acosta said, “ for those of us who have struggled to save ethnic studies and Mexican American Studies (MAS) in Tucson, these occurrences have become a part of a beautiful tradition of education for liberation that is handed from one cohort of students to another and will change our community forever.”

One of Acosta’s students shared her experience in his class, saying, “in forty minutes I felt more empowered and educated than I had in all ten previous years in school.”

These experiences are exactly what the Salt Lake City local team wants to bring to their communities. As visitors sign up for workshops, presentations and panel discussions the local group prepares to also showcase their local activism groups.

Salt Lake City Brown Beret members interact with other organizers during planning retreat.

Alonso Reyna, a U of U student and local organizers, says, “we are excited to host this event here. We will learn a lot but we will also be able to showcase the work we do in our communities.”

Reyna is one of the facilitators for Mestizo Arts and Activism and also runs the Educate Blog, which provides educational resources for undocumented students.

Ashley Edgette, facilitator for the FMFP National Committee and also a U of U student says, “I am excited to share struggles and hear about everybody’s organizing.”

Edgette is building up the neighborhood garden she co-facilitates at a local elementary school close to downtown Salt Lake City where students, parents and volunteers nurture community through gardening. She plans to present on her work and experience.

Local high school students aren’t far behind as their enthusiasm resounds. Chelsey and Sheila who both attend Kearns High School and are participants of the Face Movement organization, encourage people to come out to Salt Lake City. “We hear that everyone really liked the workshop our mentors presented at the Houston conference, the workshops here will be just as great.”

The FMFP conference has a history in Salt Lake City as local professors and teachers, such as Caitlin Cahill, David Quijada and the late Matthew W. Bradley, have encouraged and provided the means for many students to attend these conferences nationally.

According to Cahill, in 2007 a handful of students attended the first conference in Chicago. Two years after that, in the summer of 2009, a group of 50 or more students, educators and activists raised funds to rent a charter bus that took them to the Houston conference and back.

Many of these students have become mentors, teachers, professors and professionals and they are bringing the conference home to their students, families and communities. The support and enthusiasm is now in working to make the conference in Salt Lake City, Utah, a success,” says Giron.

An evening picnic in the garden: Birthday party

2012-07-24T00:58:00.002-07:00

My mom's birthday was last month. I write about her often, she is my foundation. Her and my father are literally my life. I am grateful for them every day of my life. We fight, misunderstand each other but most importantly we have a bond that nothing can break. I love my family and my mom is the person that taught me to do so.

Happy birthday mom.

_________

Love my backyard!

Finger foods galore. All from Sam's club. Wood art I took from my sister's storage.

Salpicon in the big hoya. Love my new serving tray! Got it at Sam's club for $19.99

Yummy cheescake... Bought them in bulk frozen box!

Plates, napkins and cups from Zurchers! <3

Lanterns from Zurchers! Christmas lights from my holiday/party stash.

Tiki torches from Big Lots! $2.00 each!

Pit Stop: Idaho bound

2012-07-20T15:20:00.001-07:00

My younger cousin Carlos is graduating from BYUI today. We're on our way to his ceremony. The kids are getting tired! Almost there Rexburg.

Birthday Week, Birthday Month July

2012-07-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

Hi blog family,

Today I am going to update you on one of the loveliest birthday weeks I've had. I will warn you, you will see A LOT of pictures of MEEE :)

This week proved to be a learning, reminder and peaceful time in my life. I got to be around friends and family who I truly love and who truly love me. Thanks to everyone that helped make this a great birthday for me.

On Sunday, we started off with a trip to Lagoon Amusement Park. My dad and sister came from North Dakota! It meant the world to me.

Bungee- jumping anyone?

Denny's after....

On my actual birthday, the 9th, my mom and dad had a whole barbecue prepared when I got home from work. I've been riding Trax to work every day by the way.

On Tuesday I wore my pretty fake eyelashes I got for my birthday to work... (oh yea I my parents also took me to get my eyebrows threaded!) ha ha. Oh and I drove to work. Only day of the week :)

I came home to some delicious Banana Bread that Isaac made!

My dad bought us a portable air conditioner cause our house is alway so hot. It helps a lot!

On Wednesday I didn't have time to get dressed up because I rode my bike to work.

On thursday and friday I didn't take any pics, but on Saturday I got the curling iron out and we had a great night to celebrate my 28 years of life. 18 + 10!

It was a great week :-)

Power of the Soda, Part 2: The beauty in baking soda

2012-07-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

This is part two of the Power of the Soda series. I have collected many of the uses for baking soda in one post. Please leave comments with your ideas and experiments. I have tried all of the hair, mouth and nail tips. Still working through the skin care suggestions. Let me know how it works out for you!

For your hair-
To remove buildup: Mix a small palm-full of baking soda to your shampoo to remove buildup from conditioners, mousses and hairsprays.

Need dry shampoo? Baking soda can be used as a dry shampoo when your hair is oily. Sprinkle some on your hair, comb through then quickly fluff your hair with a blow dryer.

Too much time in the pool this summer? For chlorine-damaged tresses. Mix 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda with 1 pint warm water.

Clean those combs and brushes! Remove product and oil buildup by soaking your utensils in a bowl of warm water with about 3 tablespoons of baking soda. You can also add a splash of bleach.

Get it glowing-
Facial Exfoliant. In the palm of your hand, mix some baking soda with your facial cleanser to make a gentle exfoliant. Use circular motions to apply gently then rinse as usual for very soft skin.

Rough skin. This also works for the rough skin on elbows and feet. Make a thick paste with baking soda and water (about 3 parts baking soda to one part water) and scrub away.

Feel a blemish coming on? Apply a thick paste of baking soda and peroxide to blemish before bedtime and come morning you should be blemish free. Don’t do this if your blemish has already broken the surface. That would really hurt.

Want a mini-facial? Mix one teaspoon each of baking soda and olive oil. Massage gently into your skin and rinse well. You’ll feel refreshed and moisturized.

Shaving. A solution of 1 tablespoon baking soda in a cup of water works as a pre-shave product of aftershave rinse for men with sensitive skin.

La Boca-
Tooth polish and whitener. Baking soda toothpastes have been long-time shelf staples for a reason. The baking soda works to freshen breathe and whiten and polish teeth. Dip a damp toothbrush in baking soda and brush away.

Toothbrush. Soak your tooth brush in a mixture of water and baking soda and let it soak overnight.

Uñitas-
Soft cuticles. Scrubbing your nails or toenails with a nailbrush (or old toothbrush) dipped in baking soda will soften and gently exfoliate cuticles.