EVILFLU

Dancing In Between....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 +0000

Not okay.

I can't really explain it, but something hasn't felt right for a while now.
I feel like something has to change - but nothing ever does.
Which is only my fault.

I find myself pretending to be somebody else every single day.
It's exhausting.
and now I want someone to be worried about me.
but nobody ever is.
Again, my fault.

I have pushed so many people out of my life.
So many of them I want back.
When people leave voluntarily it kills me.
I don't want this to change.
but it does - and here I am.

I would have done anything for him. Anything.
I loved being that person.
bittersweet.

I realize that I could possibly live forever without anyone ever noticing the patterns in my eyes.
I could live like this forever and never feel the joy to be there for someone - to love.
and now I don't know how to feel.

A friend I miss already.

The world just wouldn't be the same without a Captain Insano or two....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 02:46:00 +0000

This world is full of Captain Insanos.

I'm serious. There are quite a few among us in society who are just way out there.

and that's okay. Makes things a little more interesting I guess.

I make a great target by the way.

Take today for instance, crazy older lady with hot pink lipstick seeping into the cracks of her lips comes up and knocks on my car window in a shopping mall parking lot. I roll my eyes as I roll down the window, thinking she was just looking for some of my penny collection that I keep in my cup holder. To my surprise, she didn't want money, she just wanted to inform me that we would be getting 4cm of snow in today's storm and 7cm by Thursday. "You don't say?" I replied (after all, it is never a good idea to be mean to a Captain Insano - no matter what their age. First it's rude and secondly they fight dirty).

My once non-violent boy now brings weapons to outdoor play and calls me Rita Repulsa.

Meanwhile, I am really wishing this lady would take her hot pink lips away from my car so I could drive away and continue worrying about getting a friggin Megazord and Dragonzord toy so my 8-year-old will stop using my toilet brush as a Dragon Sword Flute.

Yes, you read that correctly, my child has decided to lose interest in all the wonderful toys that I spent three months worth of groceries on for Christmas and is now only interested in playing with the same toys that my parents spent a fortune on 17 years ago. Of course we no longer own any of these toys, my mom threw out our abandoned toys before they could even collect dust.

Searching on eBay makes me even angrier because the same damn power flute thingy that I had is now going for $80+ (not to mention the outrageous shipping to get to Canada).

So my quest to find a Megazord or Dragonzord failed miserably today in that snowstorm.

but I did find a Captain Insanozord so that was kind of cool.

Future Mean Girl...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:57:00 +0000

This past weekend I cut seven inches off my hair.

It was a fairly easy decision as my treatments are easier to manage with short hair.

I actually kind of don't mind short hair.

As I dropped off EVILBOY this morning, my "biggest fan" (a little girl in EVILBOY's class who always compliments me on something), gave her "compliment" on my new hair...

"I like it! It looks like the princess in Tangled after she loses her hair and turns ugly"

Worst. Compliment. Ever.

Also - what version of Tangled did this kid see??

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:57:00 +0000

PEOPLE WHO WERE RAISED IN A BARN

Starring:

Ms. Piggy (who also had the most annoying laugh in the whole entire world)

One of my favourite things to do is to see a movie in the theatre. I (used to) love the atmosphere, I love the ginormous bags of popcorn and stepping on sticky floors. I have been noticing an alarming trend at the theatres though that is really ruining my experience and I am on a crusade to make this stop!

PEOPLE WHO TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES AND PUT THEIR FEET UP ON THE SEAT IN FRONT OF THEM.

I honestly don't know what they are thinking. You are coming into a public place, removing your footwear and putting your disgusting, sweaty feet up above a person's head. I have been to two movies in a month, and both times I have been personally affected by people who have been doing this and it needs to stop. The photo above was from last night's showing of Joyful Noise (pretty okay movie by the way).

You might think this is a young person issue, however the photo above was taken of a MIDDLE AGED WOMAN who decided to come to the theatre with her snot-sniffing teenage daughter.

To me, this is as offensive as going into somebody's home and sticking your sweaty socks all over their pillows or putting your rotten feet up beside their face as they are eating (overpriced) snack food. I just don't get where these people get off thinking it's okay to put their feet up beside a human being's face.

Did you know that each foot has more than 250,000 sweat glands and they are among the most perspiring parts of the human body. In one day, each foot can produce more than a pint of sweat! (livestrong.com)

Some ignorant moron even went as far to make a Facebook group for piglets who LIKE to put their feet up on the seats http://www.facebook.com/pages/Putting-your-feet-on-the-seat-infront-of-you-at-a-movie-theater/358615843304 .

It just seems that some people have some sense of entitlement lately and it's really getting on my nerves. I mean, I paid my $10.99 to be there as well. I like to take off my pants, but you don't see me ripping them off during the movie. One man (in this same movie) even had the nerve to answer his cellphone during the film and had an entire conversation. I know he probably didn't want to watch Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah and yeah, it wasn't the best movie in the whole wide world, but how about have some class and step out of the theatre so the rest of us can go on and un-enjoy the movie without having to hear about your stupid life.

I am on a crusade to make this stop. Nobody should have to eat their popcorn and say "hey, I didn't order any cheese on this"

...so what's been bugging you??

The Chapter Book...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:12:00 +0000

EB: Mom, I want to look for some chapter books.

ME: Who are you and what did you do with my son?

EB: I'm George Washington of course.

I knew he was an imposter!

Monster Jam - January 15, 2012 - #JLCReviewer

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:05:00 +0000

A trip to Monster Jam means the thick smell of gasoline and nachos filling the air, people wearing over-sized novelty hats and standing up to let your neighbour through to their seat. To some, this may sound awful, but to a Monster Jam fan, it just means another exciting year of 10,000 pound, larger-than-life 1500 horsepower beasts tearing up some spongy dirt and a great time out with the family.

We were very lucky to be chosen by the John Labatt Centre to do a #JLCReview of the Monster Jam show this afternoon. Today was a very special day for EVILBOY because it is also his 8th birthday! We were also very lucky to attend the Pit Party this morning where we got very up close with the trucks. When you look closely at these trucks, you can see how much work goes into them and how intricate they really are. I can only imagine how much about these machines you have to know to fix them (sometimes many times) in each show.

EVILBOY was so excited to have his Hot Wheels toy signed by Grave Digger's driver, Rod Schmidt and got to meet many of the other drivers. Unfortunately, we arrived a little late and were unable to get close to Northern Nightmare (Cam McQueen) who definitely seemed to be a fan favourite this time around.

One thing you must know about Monster Jam is that hearing protection is important. Not only hearing protection, but a good pair of hearing protection for your children will really make the show more enjoyable. You can purchase a good set of hearing protectors at the souvenir booth at a Monster Jam show for $20 (very cute Monster Jam themed set) or you can visit a hardware store and pick up a set, probably for a little less, I think ours were around $12-15. Last year we went with the inner ear (marshmallow) type and were very unsuccessful and EVILBOY had a hard time with the noise.

London, Ontario was visited by Grave Digger driven by Rod Schmidt, Higher Education driven by Jim Tracy, Aftershock driven by Bob Robbins, Krazy Train driven by Mark Noto, Rap Attack driven by Dave Rappach, and Northern Nightmare driven by Cam McQueen. We were also very lucky to witness the debut competition of Northern Nightmare. A very exciting weekend for Monster Jam fans indeed!

There were many exciting moments during this event. The first one happened only moments into the show when Higher Education took a tumble and crunched up his truck a bit. This also came back to haunt him later in the show when he had some mechanical issues (most likely from the flip over). The Quad Wars were also very edge-of-your-seat entertaining, when Canada beat the USA in a very close race. Both parties agreed to a re-match and USA eventually beat Canada when the Team Canada driver took a nasty spill on the last turn (I hope he's okay!).

I was overall very impressed with the sportsmanship and general passion for the sport I witnessed today. It was so good to see how these teams help each other out when in need (Grave Digger's team was helping the Higher Education team get fixed up so he could complete the show). I was also impressed at how good at parking the drivers were. They backed these giant trucks into spots with such ease, I can't even park my Pontiac Vibe in reverse, so kudos to them!

In the end, the overall winner turned out to be none other than Northern Nightmare (who is also EVILBOY's new favourite car) with nine weekend wins in nine attempts!

A very special thank you goes out to the John Labatt Centre (@JLC) who again allowed us to be their guest as a #JLCReviewer. The #JLCReviewer program is such an amazing opportunity and I am so proud to say I have been a reviewer twice now. Thank you so much for making my son's 8th birthday a very special and very memorable day.

_______________________________________________________

Disclaimer: We were provided with admission for this show. The opinions expressed are my very own.

Eight...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 05:01:00 +0000

Eight years ago today he came into this world with the music of Elton John playing.
I remember like it was yesterday.
I even remember feeling part of his body flop against my hand through the curtain.
Not a traditional birth memory I guess, but that was our first meeting.
and it was beautiful.

I never could imagine how eight years later, this ~~little boy~~ young man can be so charming, polite, handsome, thoughtful, incredible and smart. He makes me want to be a better person every day.

He loves pizza and Beyblades and hates shoelaces.
He always sees the bright side of things, even when it's hard for me to do so.
He loves his cats, and especially loves when Bingo chews on his hair at night.
He still wants to be a "lobster catcher" when he grows up.
He loves to tell people about his dreams - I find them fascinating.

Sometimes I still think he deserves so much better than what I can offer him - but he makes me feel like he could never live without me. Even though we cannot afford family vacations to Disney and we may not see each other as much as we probably should, he still appreciates everything he has and enjoys life.

I am looking forward to our 8th year of adventure together.
Happy birthday to my beautiful boy.

Moving On...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:01:00 +0000

It has almost been eight years since we said goodbye. Just like that, the only person to ever understand me, or love me for being myself was gone - in an instant.

For over seven years now I have been surviving - without my best friend.
I think this kind of makes me an expert or something. An expert in surviving.
Not like surviving the wilderness or anything, please don't turn to me for that kind of advice.
I am an expert in surviving grief.
...and that is a pretty awesome title to have.
Something to be proud of.

The other night my expertise was tested when I received a late night phone call.
R.'s cousin died last summer. She was not very old. It was very tragic. Very sudden and unexpected after a short illness.

She was a great woman. She was the kind of person that loved everybody and would do anything for you.
and she truly cared.

The phone call was from the mother of this woman and it came as one of my evening television programs was coming on TV. In other words, it was a bad time to catch me for a deep conversation. Not to mention, my phone has had horrible reception in my apartment lately, oh and also - I hate talking on the phone!!

As I was saying, I didn't want a phone call. I wanted to be left alone where I could curl up in my new Snuggie and watch trashy TV, but she was distraught and I could tell my expertise was needed.

Her daughter's husband has a new girlfriend.

To be honest, I do feel he has moved on pretty quickly, and I do agree with the mother, and I think she was looking for someone to be on her side.

But the truth is, everybody grieves differently. If he has moved on, good for him. I'm not sure it's a very healthy thing to do so soon, but if he is able to then, well, good for him.

R. told me - just once - that I should find somebody else that makes me happy after he's gone. We didn't speak much about death, it wasn't an easy subject to speak of in our house since none of us wanted to believe it was going to happen.

Almost eight years later and my heart is still with him. I would have done anything for that man, as he would have done anything for me. It's hard for me to imagine anyone else could even compare. I have him up on an imaginary pedestal, made of pink sparkles and Hello Kitty stickers (which is a pretty amazing pedestal in my eyes).

but I will let you in on a little secret...

I am terrified to even think about anybody else. I know it's the right thing to do, I know it would make me a happier person to be in love again, but what if nobody loves me for the things R. could accept about me? My insecurities were hardly a worry when I was with him. He made me feel confident and just so - happy.

So if her husband was able to find that love again so quickly - if he had the courage to move on...good for him!

F#%!

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:50:00 +0000

My first speeding ticket.
Luckily I had an officer who understands when a little boy really has to pee.

I was lucky.
Very lucky.

I will never speed (that much) again...

I should be banned from the Apple Store!

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 00:15:00 +0000

January sunset...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 02:03:00 +0000

Long drive.
"home" safe.
Was greeted with cheesecake.
Lovely.

Cinderella at The Grand Theatre...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 04:38:00 +0000

I've always wanted to be the star of a show.

Unfortunately, I am too shy to face an audience. I think I was in a school play...once. I remember having to sing she'll be coming around the mountain and being traumatized.

I won tickets for tonight's showing of Cinderella at The Grand Theatre. This was my first time at the theatre.

The play itself was fantastic, but I mostly found myself in awe of the actors - they all gave such a flawless performance!

Thanks so much to The Grand Theatre for inviting me to the ball!

The Great Bang Disaster of 2012...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:33:00 +0000

It is not a good idea to put scotch tape across your hair to trim your bangs. Ever.

I threw in a bonus "Uncle Rico" pose for your viewing pleasure.

You're welcome.

It Snowed....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:14:00 +0000

My favourite Christmas song this year was It Snowed by Meaghan Smith:

It snowed, It snowed
It snowed last night
Everything is sparkling with diamond light
The road is bare
It's four feet high
Honey let's play hooky
Cause it snowed last night
It snowed, It snowed
It snowed last night
Get your hat and coat and bundle up real tight
Hitch up that sled and we'll take a ride
Everybody's happy
Cause it snowed last night
Well how merry, how bright
The snow fall turns the
World into a lovely sight
It snowed, it snowed,
It snowed last night
Honey let's play hooky
Cause it snowed last night
And when the sun dips out of sight
We'll cozy up together by the fireside
And just before we close our eyes
Wish upon a star it snows again tonight
Wish upon a star it snows again tonight
Wish upon a star it snows again tonight

I happily sang it to myself as I put up our Christmas tree, wrapped gifts and baked Christmas cookies. I even sang it in the shower a few times.

Well guess what. It snowed last night alright...over 30cm and I'm not wishing upon any stars that it snows again tonight, I don't get to play hooky and the roads are far from bare.

As I brushed off the mountain of snow, singing that song quietly to myself so the other unfortunate commuters didn't hear my strangled bird voice, a gust of wind blew a mound of snow down my jacket.

I then realized that I kind of dislike that song.

At least until I can play hooky with a dreamboat *sigh*

The 'P' Word...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:02:00 +0000


Testing my allergies..

I hate giving up - but I'm afraid I feel defeated.

Ever since I have been diagnosed with Psoriasis, I have been fighting - so hard - to find a cure, or even some sort of relief, with no avail. I've been to numerous doctors, had many blood tests and all it keeps telling me is that my immune system sucks.

My doctor has been really great. When I go into his office, frantic about the new patches that have appeared, he listens to me and agrees to try anything I ask of him. I respect him for that so much, but I have ran out of ideas.

Today was the final test. The allergy test. I begged my doctor to send me for this test back when I thought I may have Lupus. Months later, I was in to see the doctor for my appointment today. Just like the others, the doctor took out her little tools and looked at the patches on my face and arms up close. Unlike the others, this doctor told me to stop trying to change my diagnosis. It is definitely Psoriasis. No allergy test is going to show any different. I have a disease - most likely given to me by my biological father - so nice of him to give me something in my 30 years of life.

To make myself feel better, I bought a new tube of $20 cream to see if this is my miracle cure (only 5 billion more creams to try) and some Christmas presents for myself (including a massaging neck pillow and bum warmer for my car).

I feel like I am being punished for something.

Memories of 2011...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 01:44:00 +0000

Halfway...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 20:25:00 +0000

Meeting Grammy half way. Missing EVILBOY so much already.

Happy New Year all!

A Spatula for Christmas...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 23:05:00 +0000

And the worst mother of 2011 award goes to...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 18:21:00 +0000

ME!

Well maybe not the worst... There may be a few higher up on the bad mother list. (watch TLC on Wednesday nights and you'll see what I mean).

We are learning responsibility in my home. It has been a long (and very frustrating) process and we have made some progress. EVILBOY is almost eight and his only responsibilities are making sure he has everything he needs for school in his backpack the night before and feeding the cats. I think that's pretty fair for an almost eight year old. Last night his backpack was not emptied and set up for the next day.

Not a huge deal, more of an annoyance, but really got me was the OPEN applesauce that he didn't want to eat that had spilled all over inside his backpack...and then all over my brand new boots!

We were already running late so this minor annoyance suddenly turned into crisis mode. Another backpack had to be found, everything had to be wiped off (and dried) and my boots smelled like old apples.

In my frustration, and while trying to get the point across about responsibility, I pulled out all the artwork that he had done at school. All the Santas, cotton ball snowmen and the baby Jesus colouring pages.

I pulled out the last item. A green card, folded once. A picture of Santa was on the front. A lot of work had been put into this item, more than all the other art. As I pulled it out of the soiled bag, a dramatic plop of applesauce fell to the floor.

"and THIS" I said sternly, shaking the rest of the applesauce to the floor. "who did you make this for?" I added.

"my dad" he replied quietly, tears welling in his eyes, "I was going to ask if I could put it on his grave because he was special"

...and then my heart turned black and died.

I gave him a hug, not just any old hug but a "mom hug", the kind that you need when you are hurting so deeply.

He didn't deserve the way I spoke to him this morning, nobody does really. I think I learned my lesson in kindness this morning.

Bumps in the road...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 03:38:00 +0000

Last week I had to rush over to EVILBOY's school at lunch to drop off his ice skates.
My brain forgets that Tuesdays are skating days (pretty much every week).
When I got to the school, I tracked down EVILBOY in his lunch room.
...and he looked at me like I had eight heads. "I don't have skating today mom".

I swear the whole lunch room erupted into laughter.
I walked out of the school, embarrassed because I had brought a co-worker for the ride and she would know that I was wrong about skating day. Plus the kids laughed at me - maybe they really didn't but in my mind it sure felt like they did!

On the way back to the office, my co-worker and I took notice of a truck with names written on the side. We were joking about the names on the side. The light turned green so off we both went. Suddenly I saw those same names we were making fun of getting closer and closer to my door. I realized that this moron (with the stupid name) was coming into my lane! I sped up, but unfortunately not fast enough and my poor car got a boo boo.

To me this just looks like a little scrape. To a mechanic it looks like ~~a really good Christmas~~ it's all denty and stuff *shrug*

When the guy pulled over, he said he didn't think he hit us. Right away he didn't want to go through insurance (red flag) and you know what, this time of year, I'm willing to work with people. Something about this crisp December air makes me trusting of people. To be honest, I wasn't even that mad about the whole thing. I got out of the car and very calmly said "dude, you hit my car!" (I don't know where the dude part came from - I was a little shaken up!).

So many people had different opinions. Some people said to go report it right away, others said to get quotes and present them to him. All I knew was I had 24 hours to deal with this and that I would have to make a phone call that I didn't want to make. To make matters worse, I had my very important G2 exit test the next morning and I wasn't sure they were going to let my car go through the test with damage that had not been reported.

When I got the quotes, I was actually shocked at how much damage was actually done. I was hardly bumped and we were looking at between $1,300 - $2,300 to fix my car. Not to mention I would be without a vehicle for a week - something that is not very easy to do when you have a child who is in extracurricular activities.

I knew this man was not going to want to pay to repair my car and provide me with a rental car, and as much as I hate to out someone, reporting this to insurance was looking like the safe thing to do. When I called him he was actually being a bit of a jerk. He was doubting that the damage was that extensive and he wanted me to bring the car to his mechanic in the morning (red flag #2). I was a bit angry at this point because I had worked so hard to make sure he wouldn't have to put this accident on his insurance. I took time off work to get quotes and even called my friend who worked at his insurance company to see if his insurance rate would go up because of our little accident (without divulging too much info!).

But I still wasn't ready to report him. At this point I was afraid of retaliation if I did because I sort of did agree to see his mechanic (even though I was more worried about passing my road test at this point). I decided to go to the accident reporting station to ask a police officer for some advice. The best thing that happened all day was that the officer took some pictures of the damage and right away made me report it to insurance. I needed someone to give me that last little push.

Apparently if the damage is over $1,000 you have to legally report it. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest (only to be replaced with the stress of having a driving test the next morning). Then I remembered that the bad driving man had my phone number because he was supposed to call me the next morning. The officer assured me that I would never have to speak with him again and that if he called to just ignore his call.

Luckily he didn't call and he didn't challenge that the accident was his fault. My car is being fixed and I should have her back in a couple days. For now I have a car with bum warmers (I'm going to be really sad when I lose those bum warmers).

I was also lucky that EVILBOY was not in the car at the time. The car was hit just behind his door and had he been in the car I'm not so sure he would have been unharmed. It really was not a serious accident by any means, but I know something like this would have affected him, at least emotionally for sure.

My insurance company has been great through this whole thing. When the deer accident happened a few years ago, they were wonderful, but I thought I just happened to be lucky to be matched with a nice adjuster that day. Turns out they were just as wonderful this time as well, they went above and beyond, taking care of things I thought I would have to take care of, even asking how I am feeling every time they call.

Plus I passed my driving test (without using the accident as a sob story too!). Now it's time to enjoy the holidays!

Exhausted...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Proof that making a gingerbread house and watching hours of Christmas specials on TV is exhausting

House of Gingerbread....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 14:23:00 +0000

Yesterday was our annual EVIL GINGERBREAD HOUSE DAY! This year EVILBOY wanted to take over and do it all by himself.

He worked very hard and paid a lot of attention to detail...

...and then he wanted to give up because suddenly the thought of putting candy on the house and not eating it all did not seem very appealing to him. He may have also realized at this point that he would be responsible for cleaning up after this activity. He was not pleased.

...but it all ended well. The house turned out quite lovely if I do say so myself (I think he was a little proud of it too!)

Pretty sure this means I live in a madhouse...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:01:00 +0000

Who would have thought that rabbits could jump up onto tables :/

My Fairy Sock Mother...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 12:42:00 +0000

I was putting cream on my face for the bajillionth time to try and heal the psoriasis patch that has been living on my forehead that just isn't taking the hint.

The bathroom door was open a crack, just enough for my "fairy sock mother" to stick her head through and say "YOU MUST BEEELIEVE IN YOURSELF...I AM YOUR FAAAAAIRY SOCK MOTHER" in a strange little Yoda voice.

...I love that kid...he knows just what to say sometimes!

Tis The Season...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:35:00 +0000

The tree has been decorated...

The lights are all on...

...and now he waits for the big guy in the red suit to bring him some goodies on Christmas morning!

EVILBOY has grown up quite a bit this year. He did a very good job decorating the tree all by himself while I snapped pictures. We have decided to stay home this year for Christmas morning. This will be our first Christmas morning waking up just us since R. died. I'm a little nervous. Being lonely at Christmas time is the worst and I really don't want to feel sad for this holiday.

Happy holidays everyone!