EVILFLU

Poison Frog...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Thu, 31 May 2012 23:53:00 +0000

EVILBOY: Mom, I think we caught the poison frogs

EVILFLU: Why?

EVILBOY: Because my finger really hurts.

EVILFLU: What does it feel like?

EVILBOY: Like PAIN!

Hopping Mad!

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 27 May 2012 22:35:00 +0000

Yesterday EVILBOY and I went hunting for frogs (and princes).

This is something that doesn't occur very often in our household. Even though I love frogs and the fun that comes along with pond hunting (minus the bug bites and creepy dragonflies), we rarely make the trip due to our busy schedule and my laziness (see: working full time and being a single mother sucks the life out of you).

Yesterday I was inspired.

It's time to focus more on the little things in life that bring joy. Things like pond scum between your toes on a sunny May afternoon.

and EVILBOY became an expert frog hunter.

Everything was great. There were smiles and laughter and we met a couple of interesting young boys who taught EVILBOY how to hold a frog (things that his mother is not so good at).

and then these interesting young boys turned out to be wretched little weirdos.

I heard the smaller boy say they should dissect a frog. EVILBOY joined in their war cries, though I'm not so sure he understood what dissecting actually meant. My protests and stern mom voice however went unnoticed as one of the boys began hitting a frog with a stick. The sickening thuds made my stomach turn. I couldn't believe the viciousness of a young child (probably around ten years old).

EVILBOY shrieked "YOU ARE KILLING MOTHER NATURE" which lost him cool points with the weirdos. I dumped out their bucket of ~~victims~~ frogs and took off with my mini David Suzuki in tow. By the time we had made it to the top of the hill, the young boy was playing with the frog's insides. Of course their parents were nowhere to be found (I figured they are probably off torturing kittens or something).

I feel like I should have done more, but there was nothing more I could without threatening these little goons. I knew I had to get EVILBOY out of there to spare him any more exposure to such brutality. He was very upset. Our afternoon of smiles and laughter turned into confusion and regret.

Frog hunting used to be much more innocent when I was a kid.

Lovely night for a bike ride...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sat, 26 May 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Don't ask how my ass feels right now.

Love Thy Eyeballs

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Fri, 25 May 2012 15:12:00 +0000

(I even took a pic of my contact insertion method-complete with my chippy nail polish.)

I have been told to stop calling myself stupid.

Sometimes there are instances where I really am stupid though and I feel like I should probably share this story - because I can laugh at myself sometimes.

It's healthy.

Not only am I pretty dumb sometimes, I am also terribly cheap. For example, my eye doctor gave me a free pair of contact lenses to trial last year. They were one month lenses which means in one month, any normal person (who is also not cheap) would throw these lenses away. I chose to wear them for almost an entire year. Until they started to break down and have jagged edges and made my eyes red and itchy.

Because of my "thriftiness" I put off ordering new lenses but I couldn't pass on the coupon code I found online for buy 1 get 1 free lenses! The only problem was these were daily lenses. The kind that you throw out after one day - something I just can't do! I figured I could probably get a month out of these but being unfamiliar with daily lenses, I wasn't too sure how well these would fare with my abusive contact lens use. So last night I carefully put these "fragile" lenses into my usual case and went to bed.

Imagine my disappointment when I put in my left lens this morning to complete blurriness. I couldn't see at all. First I panicked because I thought it went under my eyelid (contact wearers will know exactly what I'm talking about here, when the lens folds up and disappears behind your eyeball - grossest feeling ever!). I plucked it out of my eye - disappointed that the lens company found a way to get past cheapskates like me - they made a lens that dissolves in solution over night - I was sure of it!

I then figured this lens was defective and that surely the other lens would be okay. So I plucked it out of the lens case - only then to realize that there were two contact lenses stuck together. Yes, I had put my new lenses in with my old lenses! Once I separated them I could see perfectly! There still was the problem of the left lens though. Luckily I didn't flick that one in the toilet as I usually do (I swear I didn't!) so I picked it up from the side of the sink and spent the next ten minutes carefully trying to pry it apart.

(My stupidity doesn't end here - unfortunately)

After many swears and finger cramps, I then realized that I could see perfectly. You see, when I took out the first lens, only one of the lenses came out and the original left lens was in my eye THE WHOLE TIME.

I swear the contact lens company should sponsor me as like the person who not to be like when using contact lenses…like the "before" girl or something.

Where Do I Belong?

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 23 May 2012 14:58:00 +0000

I miss walking down long dirt roads in budget store flip flops. Feeling every sharp rock through the soles reminds me that I am alive as the sun warms my face and the clean breeze blows my hair into unforgiving knots. Surrounded by tall grass and strange insect noises. I think this is where I belong.

I miss my first love. The way he wrote our initials on the cement wall in snow in front of our classmates. The way his mother didn’t approve of our relationship made me feel rebellious for the first time in my life. The way I missed him when he was gone and the way I hated life without him when he was far away for good. I miss that time we met again and even though we never got to say goodbye properly, I even miss listening to “Don’t Turn Around” by Ace of Base on repeat for days afterwards. Maybe this is where I belong.

I miss hunting for salamanders for hours until our shoulders were an angry shade of red. My sister and I planned on selling them all to a pet store. We caught hundreds of those little things. I have yet to see another salamander since that day. Maybe I should have opened a salamander store and I could have been happy selling those little things to happy children. Maybe this is where I belong.

I miss holding his hand. Looking over and knowing that he was always just there – loving me. All of me. Even if I got angry and said bad things, he still loved me. Even though there were times when I stamped my feet and wanted to punch his face, I still loved him. I miss the way he was with our young son. The way he showed him off with pride, even though I didn’t let him name him “Abdul Jabbar”. I miss feeling safe because I knew no matter what, even though bad things were going to happen, he always had a way to make it better. Maybe this is where I belong.

I miss his little shoes. I loved shopping for his shoes more than my own. I miss his curly, blonde hair and I miss wondering where that even came from. I miss his little voice and the way sand would stick to his clammy palms. I miss his one piece jumpers and days in our backyard – the one with grass up to our kneecaps because his newly widowed mother still didn’t figure out how to work the lawn mower. I miss how he needed me. He couldn’t go to the fridge and make himself a sandwich or pour his own bowl of cereal in the morning. I even miss how he could fall asleep anywhere. Maybe this is where I belong.

Now we wear the same size of socks. He walks around our apartment wearing headphones and listening to songs about “shuffling” everyday. He collects things – everything. He has a pet rat who I find repulsive but he absolutely loves with all of his big giant heart. His baby talk is disappearing more and more everyday. He got upset when someone called him a “N00B” on the playground, and to tell you the truth I’m still not entirely sure what exactly a “N00B” is. He can laugh bigger than anybody I know. Even though things are tough and sometimes I find myself wanting to pull my hair out in a dramatic fashion and as cheesy and cliché as it sounds, at least we have each other. This is where I belong.

Fibber...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 16 May 2012 12:56:00 +0000

I can assure you that this boy has never made his bed. Making his bed consists of rolling his comforter into a ball and tossing it on the bed.

I know I should probably teach him how to make a bed but I like to pick my battles and right now we are working on more important things like keeping Lego pieces from getting embedded into the bottom of my foot.

Hair today...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Tue, 15 May 2012 01:38:00 +0000

I messed up.
I made one of those rash, irreversible decisions.
and I pretty much regret every moment of it.

I should have just accepted that this is just one of those things I simply cannot do on my own. I could add it to the list of things I can't do on my own such as: changing the light bulb in my front hallway, managing my iCloud and checking my tire pressure. Those are just things I cannot do - and I completely accept that. Completely.

I just couldn't take it anymore. Something in me snapped and before I realized it, I was hanging onto that lock of hair that was reminiscent of Donnie Wahlberg's rat tail circa early 90's that was no longer attached to my kid's head.

Now before you go blaming me - or remind me of the time my dog wouldn't come out from under the bed for a week because I cut her hair, you must know that I was tricked into having hair cutting confidence. I have a kit and in this kit is a cape. A FREAKING CAPE. Like the whole official wrap around your neck at Supercuts sort of cape. Of course I didn't use that dumb thing because I am way beyond that - or so I thought.

...and now my child looks like a cross between T-Boz from TLC and Friar Tuck.

I am hanging up my scissors and that damn cape forever. I will never touch hair cutting tools again.

PS - My brother posted this picture of his cat:

Looks like his veterinarian is as bad at hair cutting as I am and he's probably a lot smarter - cuz you know he is a doctor of animals and stuff. Now I don't feel so bad.

Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 13 May 2012 20:59:00 +0000

This is my mom.
She is a really great mom.
(and she's still just as beautiful as she was in this picture)

I look up to my mom because she has no fear.

One day I wish to be brave like her.

Happy Mother's Day!

Love,
Us

Home.

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Fri, 11 May 2012 02:19:00 +0000

They say home is where the heart is.
In my case, my heart is split equally between two places - and it has been for a very long time.

Unconditional love versus comfort.
Security versus pride.
Family versus other family.

It all comes down to a decision. One that I know in the end will end up breaking someones heart.
But a line has to be drawn. An end to it all. Hoping that in the end, it is not my own heart breaking.
As selfish as that sounds.

This has been my home for a very long time. My pride promised to never leave. I love my My friends. My neighbourhood. My old school. and him.

The truth is, I have committed myself to someone who is never coming back for many years.
I somehow felt that if I stayed in this place I could always be near him and now I realize how much it hurts.
Things are changing. Maybe I'm getting older (wiser) or maybe life just goes on - and I am still just here.

It is time to let go. Stop trying to control the way things should be and start living again. There is part of me that is screaming to get out. Recently it has become so prominent in my life. She wants to move on. To change.

I am still not one hundred percent sure.

It's terrifying to not know that things will be okay. That this is the right decision for us - but sometimes you just have to jump in feet first - without plugging your nose.

Ediot...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:13:00 +0000

EVILBOY: someone said the E word today at school

EVILFLU: E word?

EVILBOY: I can't say...it's really bad.

EVILFLU: You can tell me...you won't get in trouble

EVILBOY: They said..."idiot."

Your Face...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 20:59:00 +0000

EVILBOY: Hey mom! Wanna see something creepy?

EVILFLU: Your face?

EVILFLU: oh.

Seven...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:12:00 +0000

R.,

It has now been seven years. Someone asked me how long you had been gone for the other day and I very confidently answered eight years. When I thought about it some more, I realized it has only just been seven as of this very moment. Somehow I lost a year of grieving somewhere I guess.

I was thinking about writing this letter a few days ago. These are getting harder and harder for me to write. Memories of you are becoming distant and each year so as I write these letters I feel like I am just saying the same things over and over. Still miss you. M. has grown so much this year... It's almost like a telephone call to an old friend now - as sad as that seems.

The truth is, I feel like since you've been gone, I have completely glamorized our life together. We were like the "Brangelina" of the Cancer Clinic. You with your young, sickly swagger and me the young girlfriend who looked at you like you were Zeus god of all gods. How much your friends loved you. The love you had for, well, everything. The way you used to pay our bills every month..$70 to this company and $80 to this company just to tide them over until the next overdue bill. I find myself in similar situations lately, yet when you were here with me, it was so much easier to face. Just knowing I could look over my shoulder and you were there to back me up meant the world to me.

I wish I could still see you there. Cheering us on.

Our little boy is not very little anymore. I know if you were still alive, this would be the point where I begged you to have another child because I can't stand to watch our only child grow up into an independent little being. He asks about you all the time. He cries about you all the time....and he won't cut his hair because he wants to look like a Power Ranger. Oh, and get this, he bought himself a Rolling Stones poster to put on his bedroom wall! Our eight year old is turning out to be the quirkiest kid I know, reminds me so much of us!

Miss you forever.

-n.

Perhaps...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 03:15:00 +0000

I can get the hang of this again.

HMV Sale...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 02:01:00 +0000

HMV in White Oaks Mall is having a clear-out sale. Kind of sad to see them go honestly, but I can never pass up these store closure sales! Right now you can get items at up to 60% off. Most items are at 10% off still, but you can find some pretty amazing deals.

Tonight I got Jeff Buckley's greatest hits for $4.50. It's almost sad to buy the great Jeff Buckley who provided the entire soundtrack to my 1998 trip to England. Some arseholes broke into my apartment and stole that CD and I've been mourning its loss for a very long time. Also: who even buys CDs anymore?

Anyway....it's a great sale and I am sure the prices will come down more over the next week or so!

The Scars...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 00:34:00 +0000

I grew up with you. I loved you. I defended you.

Was it all a mistake?

I don't know how much more I can take.

As I walk, your scars are glaring sorely on the street corner. I become afraid for my child. For our future. I know something has to change. I used to see you healed. Now I only see the scars.

and it scares me.

The wind blows and entangles the back of my hair. I clumsily try to tame it with my numb fingers and I realize that the tangles don't hurt as much as the destruction I see around us. My eyes glance to the sidewalk as I scurry between residents, avoiding eye contact at all cost, all while holding the hand of the innocent who is taking it all in - not knowing the wrongs I see.

I never want him to be afraid like me.
A mother should hold her head up high.

I feel my anxiety pills are failing just as we reach our destination.
An environment I feel comfortable in. A familiar face and smile. I feel saved. My breathing calms.

Sometimes you just have to let go of things you cannot change.
Sometimes you just have to feel like you are doing something to cause change.

Dancing In Between....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 00:33:00 +0000

Not okay.

I can't really explain it, but something hasn't felt right for a while now.
I feel like something has to change - but nothing ever does.
Which is only my fault.

I find myself pretending to be somebody else every single day.
It's exhausting.
and now I want someone to be worried about me.
but nobody ever is.
Again, my fault.

I have pushed so many people out of my life.
So many of them I want back.
When people leave voluntarily it kills me.
I don't want this to change.
but it does - and here I am.

I would have done anything for him. Anything.
I loved being that person.
bittersweet.

I realize that I could possibly live forever without anyone ever noticing the patterns in my eyes.
I could live like this forever and never feel the joy to be there for someone - to love.
and now I don't know how to feel.

A friend I miss already.

The world just wouldn't be the same without a Captain Insano or two....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 02:46:00 +0000

This world is full of Captain Insanos.

I'm serious. There are quite a few among us in society who are just way out there.

and that's okay. Makes things a little more interesting I guess.

I make a great target by the way.

Take today for instance, crazy older lady with hot pink lipstick seeping into the cracks of her lips comes up and knocks on my car window in a shopping mall parking lot. I roll my eyes as I roll down the window, thinking she was just looking for some of my penny collection that I keep in my cup holder. To my surprise, she didn't want money, she just wanted to inform me that we would be getting 4cm of snow in today's storm and 7cm by Thursday. "You don't say?" I replied (after all, it is never a good idea to be mean to a Captain Insano - no matter what their age. First it's rude and secondly they fight dirty).

My once non-violent boy now brings weapons to outdoor play and calls me Rita Repulsa.

Meanwhile, I am really wishing this lady would take her hot pink lips away from my car so I could drive away and continue worrying about getting a friggin Megazord and Dragonzord toy so my 8-year-old will stop using my toilet brush as a Dragon Sword Flute.

Yes, you read that correctly, my child has decided to lose interest in all the wonderful toys that I spent three months worth of groceries on for Christmas and is now only interested in playing with the same toys that my parents spent a fortune on 17 years ago. Of course we no longer own any of these toys, my mom threw out our abandoned toys before they could even collect dust.

Searching on eBay makes me even angrier because the same damn power flute thingy that I had is now going for $80+ (not to mention the outrageous shipping to get to Canada).

So my quest to find a Megazord or Dragonzord failed miserably today in that snowstorm.

but I did find a Captain Insanozord so that was kind of cool.

Future Mean Girl...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:57:00 +0000

This past weekend I cut seven inches off my hair.

It was a fairly easy decision as my treatments are easier to manage with short hair.

I actually kind of don't mind short hair.

As I dropped off EVILBOY this morning, my "biggest fan" (a little girl in EVILBOY's class who always compliments me on something), gave her "compliment" on my new hair...

"I like it! It looks like the princess in Tangled after she loses her hair and turns ugly"

Worst. Compliment. Ever.

Also - what version of Tangled did this kid see??

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You....

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:57:00 +0000

PEOPLE WHO WERE RAISED IN A BARN

Starring:

Ms. Piggy (who also had the most annoying laugh in the whole entire world)

One of my favourite things to do is to see a movie in the theatre. I (used to) love the atmosphere, I love the ginormous bags of popcorn and stepping on sticky floors. I have been noticing an alarming trend at the theatres though that is really ruining my experience and I am on a crusade to make this stop!

PEOPLE WHO TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES AND PUT THEIR FEET UP ON THE SEAT IN FRONT OF THEM.

I honestly don't know what they are thinking. You are coming into a public place, removing your footwear and putting your disgusting, sweaty feet up above a person's head. I have been to two movies in a month, and both times I have been personally affected by people who have been doing this and it needs to stop. The photo above was from last night's showing of Joyful Noise (pretty okay movie by the way).

You might think this is a young person issue, however the photo above was taken of a MIDDLE AGED WOMAN who decided to come to the theatre with her snot-sniffing teenage daughter.

To me, this is as offensive as going into somebody's home and sticking your sweaty socks all over their pillows or putting your rotten feet up beside their face as they are eating (overpriced) snack food. I just don't get where these people get off thinking it's okay to put their feet up beside a human being's face.

Did you know that each foot has more than 250,000 sweat glands and they are among the most perspiring parts of the human body. In one day, each foot can produce more than a pint of sweat! (livestrong.com)

Some ignorant moron even went as far to make a Facebook group for piglets who LIKE to put their feet up on the seats http://www.facebook.com/pages/Putting-your-feet-on-the-seat-infront-of-you-at-a-movie-theater/358615843304 .

It just seems that some people have some sense of entitlement lately and it's really getting on my nerves. I mean, I paid my $10.99 to be there as well. I like to take off my pants, but you don't see me ripping them off during the movie. One man (in this same movie) even had the nerve to answer his cellphone during the film and had an entire conversation. I know he probably didn't want to watch Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah and yeah, it wasn't the best movie in the whole wide world, but how about have some class and step out of the theatre so the rest of us can go on and un-enjoy the movie without having to hear about your stupid life.

I am on a crusade to make this stop. Nobody should have to eat their popcorn and say "hey, I didn't order any cheese on this"

...so what's been bugging you??

The Chapter Book...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:12:00 +0000

EB: Mom, I want to look for some chapter books.

ME: Who are you and what did you do with my son?

EB: I'm George Washington of course.

I knew he was an imposter!

Monster Jam - January 15, 2012 - #JLCReviewer

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:05:00 +0000

A trip to Monster Jam means the thick smell of gasoline and nachos filling the air, people wearing over-sized novelty hats and standing up to let your neighbour through to their seat. To some, this may sound awful, but to a Monster Jam fan, it just means another exciting year of 10,000 pound, larger-than-life 1500 horsepower beasts tearing up some spongy dirt and a great time out with the family.

We were very lucky to be chosen by the John Labatt Centre to do a #JLCReview of the Monster Jam show this afternoon. Today was a very special day for EVILBOY because it is also his 8th birthday! We were also very lucky to attend the Pit Party this morning where we got very up close with the trucks. When you look closely at these trucks, you can see how much work goes into them and how intricate they really are. I can only imagine how much about these machines you have to know to fix them (sometimes many times) in each show.

EVILBOY was so excited to have his Hot Wheels toy signed by Grave Digger's driver, Rod Schmidt and got to meet many of the other drivers. Unfortunately, we arrived a little late and were unable to get close to Northern Nightmare (Cam McQueen) who definitely seemed to be a fan favourite this time around.

One thing you must know about Monster Jam is that hearing protection is important. Not only hearing protection, but a good pair of hearing protection for your children will really make the show more enjoyable. You can purchase a good set of hearing protectors at the souvenir booth at a Monster Jam show for $20 (very cute Monster Jam themed set) or you can visit a hardware store and pick up a set, probably for a little less, I think ours were around $12-15. Last year we went with the inner ear (marshmallow) type and were very unsuccessful and EVILBOY had a hard time with the noise.

London, Ontario was visited by Grave Digger driven by Rod Schmidt, Higher Education driven by Jim Tracy, Aftershock driven by Bob Robbins, Krazy Train driven by Mark Noto, Rap Attack driven by Dave Rappach, and Northern Nightmare driven by Cam McQueen. We were also very lucky to witness the debut competition of Northern Nightmare. A very exciting weekend for Monster Jam fans indeed!

There were many exciting moments during this event. The first one happened only moments into the show when Higher Education took a tumble and crunched up his truck a bit. This also came back to haunt him later in the show when he had some mechanical issues (most likely from the flip over). The Quad Wars were also very edge-of-your-seat entertaining, when Canada beat the USA in a very close race. Both parties agreed to a re-match and USA eventually beat Canada when the Team Canada driver took a nasty spill on the last turn (I hope he's okay!).

I was overall very impressed with the sportsmanship and general passion for the sport I witnessed today. It was so good to see how these teams help each other out when in need (Grave Digger's team was helping the Higher Education team get fixed up so he could complete the show). I was also impressed at how good at parking the drivers were. They backed these giant trucks into spots with such ease, I can't even park my Pontiac Vibe in reverse, so kudos to them!

In the end, the overall winner turned out to be none other than Northern Nightmare (who is also EVILBOY's new favourite car) with nine weekend wins in nine attempts!

A very special thank you goes out to the John Labatt Centre (@JLC) who again allowed us to be their guest as a #JLCReviewer. The #JLCReviewer program is such an amazing opportunity and I am so proud to say I have been a reviewer twice now. Thank you so much for making my son's 8th birthday a very special and very memorable day.

_______________________________________________________

Disclaimer: We were provided with admission for this show. The opinions expressed are my very own.

Eight...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 05:01:00 +0000

Eight years ago today he came into this world with the music of Elton John playing.
I remember like it was yesterday.
I even remember feeling part of his body flop against my hand through the curtain.
Not a traditional birth memory I guess, but that was our first meeting.
and it was beautiful.

I never could imagine how eight years later, this ~~little boy~~ young man can be so charming, polite, handsome, thoughtful, incredible and smart. He makes me want to be a better person every day.

He loves pizza and Beyblades and hates shoelaces.
He always sees the bright side of things, even when it's hard for me to do so.
He loves his cats, and especially loves when Bingo chews on his hair at night.
He still wants to be a "lobster catcher" when he grows up.
He loves to tell people about his dreams - I find them fascinating.

Sometimes I still think he deserves so much better than what I can offer him - but he makes me feel like he could never live without me. Even though we cannot afford family vacations to Disney and we may not see each other as much as we probably should, he still appreciates everything he has and enjoys life.

I am looking forward to our 8th year of adventure together.
Happy birthday to my beautiful boy.

Moving On...

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:01:00 +0000

It has almost been seven years since we've said goodbye. Just like that, the only person to ever understand me, or love me for being myself was gone - in an instant.

For over six years now I have been surviving - without my best friend.
I think this kind of makes me an expert or something. An expert in surviving.
Not like surviving the wilderness or anything, please don't turn to me for that kind of advice.
I am an expert in surviving grief.
...and that is a pretty awesome title to have.
Something to be proud of.

The other night my expertise was tested when I received a late night phone call.
R.'s cousin died last summer. She was not very old. It was very tragic. Very sudden and unexpected after a short illness.

She was a great woman. She was the kind of person that loved everybody and would do anything for you.
and she truly cared.

The phone call was from the mother of this woman and it came as one of my evening television programs was coming on TV. In other words, it was a bad time to catch me for a deep conversation. Not to mention, my phone has had horrible reception in my apartment lately, oh and also - I hate talking on the phone!!

As I was saying, I didn't want a phone call. I wanted to be left alone where I could curl up in my new Snuggie and watch trashy TV, but she was distraught and I could tell my expertise was needed.

Her daughter's husband has a new girlfriend.

To be honest, I do feel he has moved on pretty quickly, and I do agree with the mother, and I think she was looking for someone to be on her side.

But the truth is, everybody grieves differently. If he has moved on, good for him. I'm not sure it's a very healthy thing to do so soon, but if he is able to then, well, good for him.

R. told me - just once - that I should find somebody else that makes me happy after he's gone. We didn't speak much about death, it wasn't an easy subject to speak of in our house since none of us wanted to believe it was going to happen.

Almost eight years later and my heart is still with him. I would have done anything for that man, as he would have done anything for me. It's hard for me to imagine anyone else could even compare. I have him up on an imaginary pedestal, made of pink sparkles and Hello Kitty stickers (which is a pretty amazing pedestal in my eyes).

but I will let you in on a little secret...

I am terrified to even think about anybody else. I know it's the right thing to do, I know it would make me a happier person to be in love again, but what if nobody loves me for the things R. could accept about me? My insecurities were hardly a worry when I was with him. He made me feel confident and just so - happy.

So if her husband was able to find that love again so quickly - if he had the courage to move on...good for him!

F#%!

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:50:00 +0000

My first speeding ticket.
Luckily I had an officer who understands when a little boy really has to pee.

I was lucky.
Very lucky.

I will never speed (that much) again...

I should be banned from the Apple Store!

noreply@blogger.com (EVILFLU) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 00:15:00 +0000