A Day In The Life...

Blogpress Test

2008-12-15T13:10:00.001-05:00

Giving this whole iPhone Blogpress App a whirl...

Pardon the dust...

-El Capitán

-- Post From My iPhone

In on the joke...

2008-11-28T11:18:00.003-05:00

Talk about somebody who not only "gets it," but joins in on it, too:

(Yes, that's DURING this year's Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!)
Simply AWESOME!

Happy Gobble Gobble, everybody!

-El Capitan

Here goes nothin'!

2008-11-04T16:29:00.003-05:00

"Enough is enough! It's time for a CHANGE!"
-The late, great, (very Canadian) Owen Hart

-El Capitan

Nobody Fucks With John McCain!

2008-10-17T19:16:00.001-04:00

Thanks to BRR for sending this one along...

I think I just fell in love with Hayden Panettiere...!

"He's just like George Bush, except older, and with a worse temper..."

F'n AWESOME!! But, wait! It doesn't end there!

Oh, and there's one more...

L-O-V-E...! (It's ok - she's legal... I can say it...!)

-El Capitán

Have You Heard? About the Bird?

2008-10-10T00:42:00.001-04:00

If this isn't the Second Coming of a Rick Roll, I don't know what is:

and, the absolute best part of the episiode:

EVERYBODY knows that the Bird is the Word!

- El Capitán

Simply Awesome...!

2008-09-13T17:14:00.001-04:00

Super Mario Rescues The Princess

Just one of the bits Seth MacFarlane has worked up for his new page over at YouTube. You can spy the rest of Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy here.

- El Capitán

Awk-waaaard...

2008-09-08T21:42:00.003-04:00

I've got the good Doctor Ogo to thank for BOTH of the gloriouly awkward videos brought to you today.

First, we'll take a look at a quick little video from this morning's edition of The Early Show on CBS, during which Bryan Adams (you know - the Canadian Springsteen!) declares the TRUE meaning behind the song "Summer of '69." (Note: This one IS ad supported):

Repeat after me: "Awk-waaaard..."

Next, we visit a young Shawn Johnson (you know - the "other" Olympic Gold Medalist). She's got VERY strong feelings about Ortega brand Taco Sauce:

Once again: "Awk-"

Eh, you know the rest...

-El Capitán

Red Baaaaand Time!

2008-09-06T15:17:00.001-04:00

Hey gang - I'm still alive... More to come soon, but in the meantime, check this out:

The MASTER does it again...!

-El Capitán

(Sesame) Street Cred

2008-07-23T23:05:00.001-04:00

I'll tell you what - lately, there seems to be a growing trend of using Jim Henson's furry little friends in as many viral videos as possible. And frankly, they're pretty fucking hilarious...! Here's the best of the bunch (be sure to watch ALL three!):

JKL's Unnecessary Censorship - Sesame Street Edition

(Thanks to Tommy for that one...)

Bert & Ernie Gain Street Cred

and finally...

Hilarious Muppets Bloopers

Bwah-ha-Ha-hahaha-HAHA-ha!!!!!

The air is sweet, indeed!

-El Capitán

Harvey Dent: The Transformation

2008-07-17T10:10:00.004-04:00

Man, Harvey Dent must have fallen into some pretty NASTY stuff... Check out the before and after pics:

Crazy, right?

-El Capitan

Halftime Inspiration...!

2008-07-08T00:57:00.001-04:00

No matter how much I loathe Peyton Manning (as a player, not as a person), this is absolutely one of the funniest clips I've seen on SNL... EVER!

-El Capitán

Haikus

2008-06-18T14:21:00.002-04:00

From Threadless:

-El Capitan

I.F.H. Mondays

2008-06-02T08:09:00.001-04:00

"Uh oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays..."
-Jennifer Jane Emerson (Female Temp), Office Space

In keeping with my Twitter post of last week, I am NOT a fan of returning to the weekly routine, let alone after a long, sick weekend...

That being said, my new friend Jess, sent this one along to let me know I'm not alone (and make me laugh my ass off). Enjoy:

Happy Monday, gang...

-El Capitán

Let's Make A Porno!

2008-05-30T07:58:00.001-04:00

Seriously - you could put Kevin Smith's name on a box of shit and fire ants - I'd still start a countdown to the opening...

Behold, the teaser for his latest, Zack & Miri Make A Porno:

While this one is only a teaser (not to be confused with a trailer - there's a difference, per Mr. Smith), I still can't wait for October 31!

-El Capitán

Testing Audio Player (Revised)

2008-05-12T14:22:00.002-04:00

Many, MANY thanks to Kristin for helping me out with this one...

-El Capitan

The REAL Kentucky Derby

2008-05-04T21:26:00.001-04:00

Soooooooo, one of my kickball teammates spent this past weekend up in Louisville - more specifically at Churchill Downs, celebrating the Kentucky Derby. While camped out at Turn 3, he and a friend decided it would be a great idea to go hopping along the tops of the port-o-potties, racing all the way to the bitter end. For this, we thank them - otherwise we would not have this video to enjoy:

Nice one guys... Please don't die - we need you on the field!

-El Capitán

And here... we... GO!

2008-04-29T08:17:00.002-04:00

(Update: Click HERE for the original, hi-res version!)

This DEFINITELY won't be up for long... Check it out while you can:

Can't wait!!

-El Capitán

20 And Counting...

2008-04-22T15:25:00.002-04:00

-El Capitan

Bastardized By The Go Phone Light

2008-04-20T12:19:00.007-04:00

I'll admit it - I'm a Meatloaf fan. Both the food AND the singer. I know, I know... And while I could give you my grandmother's KILLER recipe for the former, today's post is sadly focused on the latter, so be ready...

Has anybody seen the new AT&T GoPhone ad? The one with Meatloaf, Tiffany, and some poor-lip-synching putz singing a warped version of "Paradise By The Dashboard Light?" Of course you have...

Wait - you haven't? Ok, well, here's the commercial-ready version (followed by the longer, more in-depth version - with added memory-ruining chunky bits - at the bottom of the post):

0:30 Version:

OK, here just a few of my MANY problems with this commercial:

It takes a song that brought back good memories and KILLS it for something not even remotely near what the original song was about.

Both Meatloaf AND Tiffany sold their souls for this one...

The kid TOTALLY lip-syncs his portion of the song - and does so very poorly, if I might say so myself...

I don't know - for some reason, this commercial just rubs me the WRONG way... Maybe something better will come along today...

And now for my Social Network Plug Of The Week - my new favorite online toy: Muxtape.com!
Basically, it's an online repository, where you can upload up to twelve songs, and compile them into a mixtape to share with your friends. Each song begins streaming when you click on the title, and continues on to the next song when done... So simple, yet SO cool!

While you're there, check out my current Muxtape @ http://lbcapt.muxtape.com. I'll be keeping that up to date as frequently as possible (hopefully much better than my attempts on here!)

Now here it is, kids - the moment you've all been waiting for - the Full 1:30 Version of "Bastardized By The Go Phone Light":

What's even better? The fact that I felt like calling my celly a "Go Phone" all week - but for totally different reasons...

That's about it for now, kids... Have a very DIRTY week!

-LBC

Project Genesis

2008-04-15T14:30:00.005-04:00

Today, Royal Caribbean announced the first of SEVEN "neighborhoods" onboard the upcoming "Project Genesis," which will be the largest ship in the water (50% larger than the current monsters)...

This is going to COMPLETELY change the industry:

Wow...!

Is it 2009 yet?

-El Capitan

Adam's 'Secret'

2008-04-05T23:47:00.001-04:00

As good as the post below gets, it's still not nearly as good as Adam Sandler's Secret (from his 5th album, Shh... Don't Tell..., which somehow slipped under my radar all the way back on June 13, 2004):

Here's the hi-res version (in Quicktime Format): Secret

I'm speechless... (I know, it's rare...)

- El Capitán

Dos Palabras

2008-04-05T23:23:00.001-04:00

I've got two words for ya (and they aren't 'Suck It'):

Zombie Strippers!

Really - does it get any better? Oh, it does...

Jenna Jameson AND Robert Englund!!

Better than that?? There's a trailer!

Madame Blavatski: But - but, what about the girls, huh? They're good girls...
Jessy: They're zombies...
Madame Blavatski: No! They're strippers...!
Lillith: They're Zombie Strippers!

You just can't make this stuff up! For more, visit the official site (yes, this is a Sony Pictures film!).

Where can I get in line??

- El Capitán

I Sit On You, Lint Licker!

2008-02-27T00:20:00.001-05:00

From the phenomenally hilarious to the udderly strange...

Babs and Mr. A-OK (Ryan) may not know it, but they had the recent chance to get me hooked on a new guilty pleasure, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! This show is just too strange for words, with various short skits featuring animation and live action stars (including John C. Reilly, David Cross, Bob Odenkirk, and Will Forte).

So today, I lead with one of the strangest bits I've seen on the show:

Now on to the ad game, and the one that's been sticking out in EVERYBODY'S minds (and vocabulary) lately (this one is SFW, although the tone may not indicate it). Here is the extended version:

Seriously - not a day goes by lately that I don't hear somebody referred to as a "Lint Licker" or a "Cootie Queen!"

I leave you today with what is probably the best (read: "funniest," NSFW) bit in this post (one that had me laughing harder the longer it went on) - a video brought to us by Sr. Mario J.:

"Who designed this fucking level?!"

Seriously - I'm crying!!

Until next time, true believers - Stay Dirty (and or Awkward)!

-El Capitán

Revenge, Soap, and Milkshakes

2008-02-25T22:53:00.001-05:00

It takes something like this to get me back into the blogospheres...

(Let me preface this by saying that the videos below are worth EVERY second of your time - you WILL NOT laugh harder for quite some time - or at least the next 10 minutes.)

As I've blogged about before, Jimmy Kimmel and Matt Damon have had a little "feud," shall we say, going on over the years. Matt has been invited as a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live countless times over the past few years, only to be shuffled off stage as Jimmy conveniently "runs out of time..."

So a little while back, Jimmy's girlfriend, Sarah Silverman, presented Jimmy with a music video she had produced just for him, to let him in on a little something that had been going on in her personal life. Here's that video (as sent to me by Sammy, Ariel, Heather, my mom, and several others):

"She's f*cking Matt Damon!"

Fast forward to last night... Jimmy took the opportunity of a lifetime - his cushy post-Oscar telecast - to deliver a little revenge. And as we all know from the Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Here's Jimmy's video retaliation (fucking CLASSIC!):

"He's f*cking Ben Affleck!"

Seriously - that one is like a who's-who of A-listers, right? Like a We Are The World for Gen-Y!

Before I leave you with that, I've got a few other thoughts that have come across my scattered brain lately:

Did you know that there's a difference between a Lotion Dispenser and a Soap Dispenser?

Neither did I - until I had a strange visit to Bed, Bath, and Beyond recently. Part of decorating my new house has been the accessorizing of the bathrooms. I bought a nice looking (and still masculine) set for my bathroom, which included a dispenser that wouldn't dispense. Upon my attempt to exchange said dispenser for a working model, this tasty bit of knowledge was dropped on me. The solution offered by the store manager: "Just dilute it with some water - it'll work fine."

It does, but I still feel a little cheated with my watery-soapy-goo-dispenser...

Can anybody tell me the difference between Durmot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott?
How about Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford?
And Jon's wondering how to tell the difference between Michael Madsen and Tom Sizemore...
I'm just sayin...

I haven't plugged in my PC in over two months (in fact, it's still sitting in my trunk) - and I'm OK with that... LOVE my MacBook and my iMac...

I'm SO happy to have LOST back!

Finally, a brilliant clip from this past Saturday Night Live (the first back from the strike), and an homage to Daniel Day Lewis' Oscar winner, There Will Be Blood:

"I drink YOUR MILKSHAKE!"

Thanks for your patience... I'll be back much sooner next time!

-El Capitán

Dear Diary...

2007-12-19T21:06:00.001-05:00

It's been 2,003 days (yes, seriously) since my last cigarette... Sure, I could use one (especially today), but really - who'd want to break a streak like that??

Just dropping in to tell you all that I'm still alive... A few points of interest:

Irregardless means the same thing as regardless, although the former is not generally accepted... In fact, as I type this, spellcheck is reminding me that irregardless is, in fact, NOT a word, but Webster's disagrees... Likewise - as we learned from The Simpsons - inflammable means flammable.

1.31.08 - LOST has been moved up!!

Every Day Should Be Saturday!

The State is toying with my emotions...

For Jon: If somebody does a quick mood change, they are NOT doing a "Complete 360." A "Complete 180," maybe, but never a "Complete 360." A "Complete 360" would imply that they have not only changed their mood, but returned fully to their original mood in the same fell swoop, and thus would not even be worth mentioning in the first place...

My whole childhood was a lie. First, I had to come to the realization that my mother did NOT invent this trick:

Then, just the other day, I learned that Grenadine (you know that sweet red syrup you used as a kid to make a Shirley Temple or a Roy Rogers - the one that you now use as an adult in a Tequila Sunrise and various other potent potables) is NOT Cherry flavored. What flavor is it, you ask? It's the oh-so-trendy Pomegranate, and it has ALWAYS been! LIES!!

I digress...

Last week I made my Switch complete, and purchased my SECOND Mac - an iMac (24", 2.8 GHz Core 2 Extreme!). I don't ever remember being so happy with a computer decision! Five years ago, I wouldn't be caught dead speaking those words...
For reference:

Main Entry: moot
Function: adjective
Date: circa 1587

1: deprived of practical significance : made abstract or purely academic

Leaving for my annual cruise next Wednesday on the Emerald Princess. Can't wait!

Before Wednesday comes, however, Monday pays us a visit. There may be HUGE news on Monday... Stay tuned... :)

Enjoy your weekend!

-El Capitan